Rachellynn: Prozac & Remeron support :)

[Rachellynn]

2 hours ago, Ather said:

Until when was your sleep ok ?

Why did you leave Remeron ?

Since November - but really bad in February and March. Complete insomnia for 10 days

[Rachellynn]

Awesome. Cannot sleep on phenobarbital either. This is just wonderful. I am screwed and the insomnia, agitation, derealization hurts. What the heck is happening, how is my body NOT SLEEPING

[LilBit]

 

@Rachellynn I hate to hear that you are suffering like this.  I know the pain all too well and stress, irritation, anxiety and depression definitely do not help.  It is a vicious cycle.  As it is, your brain and CNS are on constant high alert from the WD and all of the drug changes.  It seemed like when this was happening to me, the only thing that truly helped was acceptance and not trying to sleep.  The more you try it seems, the more you won’t, as crazy as it sounds.  Relaxing, destressing, meditating, avoiding triggers and self care are super important.  I wish you had a good support system because that has gotten me through the worst of times.  I am glad you are on this site at least, so you know you aren’t alone!  

 

Have you tried listening to binaural beats? Believe it or not they actually helped me.  The ones by Jody Hatton on YouTube are great.

 

For the first time in almost 9 months now, I think I slept 6 hours last night without waking (If I did I don’t remember).  It has to get better and it will!  The only other thing which worries me is the weight loss which I am hoping will improve as I taper and get through WD.  Please try to hang in there!  Sending hugs 🤗💛

[Rachellynn]

@LilBit thank you for the support! I am so happy to hear that you slept 6 hours - that is HUGE!!! I’m honestly thinking about going inpatient at this point...I’m sure that would not help but I’m so miserable and am a danger to myself. 

 

I try to do relaxation (i am (was) a YOGI) before all this for goodness sake!!! But...it seems to stress me out now, as does my bed, as does nightime and darkness. You are so kind and I’ve been rooting for you, i wish i had someone to cuddle with - i think that would save my life. I’m so scared, because i too am losing weight and I’ve been through this before sadly...and remeron saved me but now it’s turned on me and ruined my relaxation abilities. I am having a hard time staying positive. 

 

Thanks for stiping by though and I’m happy for you❤️❤️❤️

[eymen23]

Rachellynn,

 

You are likely sensitive to psychiatric drugs and perhaps had a paradoxical reaction. What happened with the lamotrigine?

 

I am so sorry to hear you’re suffering like you are. To have such severe sleeplessness can be extremely scary and can diminish our well being very quickly. 

 

Of course, you must do what feels best, but please don’t expect going inpatient to be a sure fix for the sleeplessness. They might be able to prescribe something which ends up helping, or things might get worse and you will be stuck with new drugs to taper from and perhaps with new side effects.

 

One of the more experienced mods may be able to weigh in here, but I have a strong suspicion things would slowly improve if you consistently took the same drug (and only that drug) at the same dose, for an extended period of time. Each new drug is potentially causing more side effects, more destabilisation and more confusion for your nervous system.

 

I think you need to very carefully make a decision as to whether you’re able and willing to stick with one drug at one dosage and wait this out, or if you want to try your hand at more drugs and more treatment. 

 

I wish I could help more, I really do. 

[Rachellynn]

Thank you @eymen23 i am taking the 1mg lamotragine but no effect yet...the phenobarbital relaxed me somewhat but not enough for sleep. I’m not sure what to do with the remeron. It’s for sure NOT helping anymore but not sure if i should CT it or not... Dr seems to think it’s not something that needs much tapering which confuses me. He’s a good Dr. but still - he hasn’t been through this himself so I’d still like input from others 😕

 

You are right though, I’ve had WAY too many changes in the last few months. I just don’t know what to do. It’s like I’m deathly afraid of the dark/sleep/bedtime/nighttime, etc.... it’s so rediculous and yet i can almost not help it due to the sleep deprivation. 😴

 

i would 100% refuse an anti-psychotic and TCA’s so not sure what they’d give me. I’m just looking for a sign of stability. I have to just stop and hold something and accept. 

 

Edited March 24, 2019 by ChessieCat
removed doctor's name

[PerAsperaAdAstra]

You’re going through quite something if even phenobarbital doesn’t do much of a trick. Wow!

 

Here’s a virtual cuddle (for what it’s worth!)

[Rachellynn]

@PerAsperaAdAstra i know😭 i took 30mg, apparently 100mg is indicated for insomnia. We shall see. 

[Rachellynn]

Options:

 

1. quit everything and pray that i start sleeping soon. 

 

2. Quit everything but my longer term drug (remeron) and try to stabalize. 

 

3. Quit remeron (poop out) and keep lamotragine and phenobarbital. 

 

4. Go inpatient and cross my fingers.  

[bheb]

I'm sorry you're dealing with such agitation and insomnia. By all means, listen to a doctor if you trust them, but I do think that many people have trouble cold turkeying remeron. There are several threads of people in withdrawal from it. So even if it is no longer helping you, it could hurt you more if you too swiftly discontinue. 

 

Sorry I can't be more helpful -- I wish there was some quick fix to help you through but of course I haven't found much myself. But I am thankful I do get some sleep. I've got one yoga nidra meditation that helps, in addition to melatonin -- which I've stopped taking due to it possibly increasing my akathisia, but at least I know I can take it if I really need to sleep. 

[eymen23]

Rachellynn,

 

Let’s try to think this through logically:

 

1) This could kick start severe withdrawal symptoms that persist for years and extend well beyond your current symptoms. 

 

2) You have only tried small doses of Lamotrigine so may be able to taper/stop this before long. You’ve only used phenobarbital once if I’m not wrong, so this could be stopped immediately. This option gives the least risks of (worsening) withdrawal syndrome. 

 

3) Similar outcome to option 1. If the Lamotrigine and phenobarbital have been ineffective this far, I wouldn’t fancy your chances at them masking up severe withdrawal syndrome with Remeron. 

 

4) Who knows what will happen. You will probably end up on a cocktail of drugs at doses much higher than we’d recommend and that you can tolerate.  

 

You believe the Remeron has ‘popped out’. Personally, I’m not confident that this is the case. If I remember right, you made a very large drop in Remeron dosage and several months later had issues sleeping during a stressful period. This continued and got worse after you began trialling various drugs and supplements to solve your sleeplessness.

 

Following experimentation with more drugs from the sleep specialist, your symptoms are at their worst. It sounds more like some initial withdrawal symptoms from a large Remeron reduction and subsequent nervous system destabilisation from stress and numerous changes in drugs and supplementation.

 

Option 2 is the only suggestion I can make in good conscience. That, or to keep gently trialling the treatment from the sleep specialist and remaining very patient. 

Edited March 24, 2019 by eymen23

[Rachellynn]

Yes. I have dug a hole for myself again. I wish that i did not make that huge remeron cut as it appears withdrawals hit me much later - not immediately. I guess i will hold at 7.5mg and the low dose lamotragine. I don’t think phenobarbital will be helpful long term as it only helps insomnia for two weeks kind of like benzos. 

 

I cant believe I’ve gotten myself into such a horrific deep hole. I was so hopeful with this Dr. before i was sleeping at least 2-3 hrs per night. I can only pray that this does not kill me at this point. 

 

Please pray for me🙏🏼

[Rachellynn]

People who give me hope who i know have experienced complete insomnia: @LilBit @Littlegrandma @AliG @frasier23 - trying to keep the faith that I’ll make it through. My brain is still good, it’s just my CNS that has taken so many hits. 

 

❤️❤️❤️

[Ather]

Listen, all of us around you here, we are your family, I'm your Bro ok ? you don't have to worry that much from now on

 

I asked you what was the reason you stopped Mirtazepine ?

 

And most people here would tell you that you have become "sensitive" to medicines, please know that we all are sensitive to them, if we don't sense them we don't get better, like I have said it earlier we need to see if the goods of the medicine out-weigh the bads, most of the cases the good-effects do out-weigh the negative effects.

 

Fear of taking a Medication plays a big big part, our psychology plays a big role.

You need to hear positive words, you don't want people telling you that you are suffering and that you are in a "Terrible" condition, You are not.

I can tell you the people who are in terrible shape, they are the ones who are fighting for life, fighting terminal illnesses, you are not 1 of them I can assure you of that and we are going to get you out of this state very soon, that is my promise God willing.

[Rachellynn]

@Ather oh!!!! Thank you so very much for this message. This is VERY MUCH needed right now!! 

 

I have not quit taking my remeron! I’m holding at 7.5mg. I am also taking 30mg of phenobarbital (which prob sounds crazy - but it really mellows me out) and 1mg lamotragine. My faith is restored in my Dr. and I’m sticking to his program. This is pretty much the first time I’ve slept since the 8th - so mild psychosis was setting in for me. I’m just so very happy that i have not lost my ability to sleep. I think i surpassed the Guinness book of work records...

 

I am am going to be away from this website for awhile as it tends to bring me more anxiety/fear than anything else. And it’s not the fault of anyone...i should not read horror stories here, however the positive stories too have given me so much hope. I guess my being here is a bit silly since i am not yet tapering anything and am only trying to stabalize and sleep. 

 

@Goosie @LilBit thank you for the support, you have both been an inspiration. I will pray to the sleep gods for us all. 

 

@Gracee thank you for your support. @eymen23 thank you. @Altostrata thank you. 

 

My BFF @savinggrace ❤️❤️❤️

 

I wish everyone all the healing in the world. 

 

Xo

 

[Ather]

Good to know that you are in the hands of a Professional now, that would make me worry less for you  You are going to be stable now and thank God that you are still on your real medication that is Remeron.

I have zero knowledge on phenobarbital but if it is the need of the moment then you must take it but not for long, in the long run you'll only need the therapeutic dosage of your antidepressant as you are a long term AD taker only, hopefully you will stabilize on an AD only but if there is any need of supplementary drug go on with it, just tell your doctor to not over do it, anyways, this is not the time to be our doctors ourselves, let the doctor do his job, you'll be fine very soon, God Willing.

[Gracee]

Wishing you comfort and peace my friend.