Star9086: insomnia worsened from withdrawal, so scared now

[Star9086]

I’m experiencing extremely bad withdrawal symptoms right now. I have anxiety, depression, panic attacks, fear, hypersensitivity to noise, feeling about to pass out or collapse, lightheadedness, shortness of breath, crying every day, chest pains, weakness, and insomnia which is worrying me the most. I have been sleep deprived for 5 1/2 years (I’m 19 yrs old now) and had insomnia for 4 1/2 yrs. The sleep deprivation was so horrible that it gave me so many problems like pounding heart, memory loss (I would even forget basic words), feeling like a zombie everyday, body hurting. It was to the point that I would worry I could get a heart attack or some other heart problem if I don’t treat it soon. This was before I was on antidepressants. After quitting my antidepressants CT, I COULD NOT sleep at all. It keeps getting worse and worse. I would lay in bed for 12 or 13 hrs but I could only sleep 3 or 4 hrs at best. I would fall asleep 5 or 6 hrs later after getting in bed and sleep for an hr, then wake up and stay awake for the next 4 or 5 hrs, then fall asleep for an hr, and wake up for another hr. Everytime I wake up, my body becomes so weak and trembling, and I get panic attacks. When I get out of bed to start the day, I get shortness of breath and my heart pounds so hard, my body shakes, then I panic. It’s been getting worse each day. I literally think I will get a heart attack from the lack of sleep. I want to sleep so bad but I can’t I don’t know what to do. I know if I don’t get sleep my WD symptoms will take longer to go away or maybe not go away and it’s putting me into more distress.

 

My head feels like it’s out of oxygen right now like it’s spinning and it’s making it hard for me to type (I’m afraid if I’m not even making any sense). I’m so traumatized from the antidepressants that I’m scared to take any kind of prescribed drug anymore. I’m in desperate need of advice.

[manymoretodays]

Hi Star9086,

Welcome to survivingantidepressants.  And thank you for getting your signature done.

Oh my gosh, you haven't slept well for 5 and 1/2 years?  Or has it been a total of 9 years now?  Since you were 10 years old?

Has anything helped with the sleep problems?

Did any of the medications help or do anything of note for you?

 

Were you only on the Lexapro for less than a months time?  Did your present symptoms begin while on the Lexapro?  Or after you discontinued it?

It looks like short term usage for the Lexapro, Trazodone, and Lorazepam......and then some repeats of usage again. 

Most recently some Hydroxyzine and then Magnesium.

Please correct me if I'm wrong here.

So no history of medications prior to June of 2018?

 

Sorry for all the questions, just do your best to answer.

And what kind of support do you have on the ground........do you see a general doctor, sleep doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, etc?  Have friends and family support?

 

I'm going to give you some links to information that we have on site here:

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Dr.Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made.  The CNS likes stability. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur. And sleep is really important during withdrawal.  As well as in general.   Insomnia is no small deal. 

Some of the on and off patterns of your medication use may have caused a bit of havoc with your nervous system as well.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system.   Read through these links, at least the first couple of posts in them, to see if what you have started makes sense so far.  We've got a lot of information around here. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

This is your introduction/journal page where you have now introduced yourself to the community, you can ask questions here, give updates, and just keep a record of your journey.

 

We also have a whole symptoms and self care section.  For now I'm just going to give you one link from there:  Non drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

And oh hey Star,  here are some tips to help with sleep and what we often refer to as cortisol awakenings: 

Waking with panic or anxiety- managing cortisol spikes

Tips to help sleep

What is the sleep cycle

Just do your best with all the information given above.  You don't have to try and absorb it all at once. 

 

 

Again, welcome.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 22, 2018 by manymoretodays
more links, took out "I hope you like reading"

[Star9086]

Sorry I haven’t replied sooner, my WD was so unbearable the last 2 weeks (too exhausted to even read and mind so muddled to answer clearly).

 

I was sleep deprived since I was 14 (or since summer of 2013) and had insomnia since I was 15. I could’ve easily fixed my lack of sleep and insomnia had I stopped staying up late, waking up and going to bed at different times each day, and wasn’t so stressed with school, but since I barely tried and year after year passed, my sleep progressively became worse to the point that I wasn't sure if it could ever be fixed. Now that I started and stopped antidepressants and experiencing WD, I have much less hope that my sleep will ever become healthy again (insomnia is at its absolute worst right now).

 

I started my first ever AD (lexapro) after my counselor kept suggesting that I take it (I had social anxiety and a bit of everyday anxiety). At first, I didn’t want to take anxiety drugs. I even told my counselor that I was afraid it might be bad for my body but she kept mentioning it at each session so I gave in. My psychiatrist who prescribed the Lexapro, didn’t explained much about the AD. Just that it might make me jittery, will take about 3 weeks to take affect, and to call one of the nurses there if I’m experiencing anything bad with it. I thought it was pretty safe.

 

So I started Lexapro and I didn’t experience any WD symptoms. I didn’t have a bad reaction while on it. 2 weeks after I started taking Lexapro, my counselor mentioned my psychiatrist could also prescribe me a medicine to help with sleep. So I asked my psychiatrist for a sleep med and she told me to take Trazodone (until mid sept. I thought the trazodone was just a sleep med). The Trazodone only worked for the first 2 nights and that’s it. While taking Lexapro, I found out that it was making it hard for me to orgasm (this is so embarrassing to say). I was getting frustrated and finally decided to stop taking it. I also stopped Trazodone on the same day as it’s not helping.

 

The next day (7/5/18) I was feeling fine until I went to sleep. While laying in bed, I felt a chill go through my body and my whole body just started shaking so bad (like I had hypothermia). I also started feeling so scared. The shaking persisted until I eventually fell asleep. The next morning, I felt normal but mid-breakfast, I felt dizzy and nauseous. The nausea worsened and I had to stop eating and lie in bed. I stayed in bed until dinner. I tried to eat dinner but my stomach was too upset. While I was experiencing the nausea, I also felt intense anxiety and agitation. At 7pm, I took half a tablet of the lexapro (I knew stopping it was causing me these symptoms) but it didn’t help a bit. That night I tried to go to sleep but but I kept getting panic attacks so I swallowed a whole tablet of the lexapro and within a minute I felt like I was about to get a heart attack. 

 

I went to the ER and they gave me a nausea pill. My blood pressure was 134/70. I felt a little better while there so I went home a few hours later. The moment I got home, all the symptoms came back. I literally couldn’t move because of the symptoms, I had to stay in bed the entire day. At night I tried to go to sleep but the panic attacks were so bad I had to go to the ER again. They let me swallow a pill that they said will relax me and let me sleep and also prescribed some lorazepam. For a week, I stayed in bed and took lorazepam at night. I couldn’t stand up or move around, my stomach hurt so bad, nausea was horrible, anxiety was severe (like I’ll get a heart attack any minute), insomnia worsened (1-4 hrs of sleep a night), constantly scared, groaning all the time, and more. After that week passed, I got better. 

 

In August, I took trazodone again as needed. I also quit going to counseling and to the psychiatrist (she didn’t believe my symptoms were from stopping lexapro and blamed it on the anxiety I had before the med). I took it every other day to every few days (I don’t remember the exact days I took it). I DID NOT KNOW the trazodone was an AD. I kept taking it thinking is was a sleep med. I tried melatonin but it didn’t help with my insomnia so that’s why I went back to Trazodone (I was so desperate to sleep). At this time I could only sleep 4-7 hrs of broken sleep. I also still had WD symptoms at this time but not as bad. I noticed that my symptoms worsen the day after not taking trazodone the night before.

 

In September, I started taking Trazodone more consistently. I was thinking that going on and off of it was the reason why my insomnia isn’t improving much. I stopped it after more than a week and my WD symptoms worsened. I was so confused at this time and thought I was doomed with having to live with WD from the lexapro for life. I cried so much thinking I had to live being tortured like this. I frantically looked up Trazodone online (my gut was telling me that it might be an AD and NOT a sleep med) and I found out it really is an AD. I didn’t know much about tapering so I just took half of what I was taking and stopped it completely. After I week I got better but felt worse than back in August.

 

In October, I went to a new doctor. My last doctor doesn’t accept my insurance anymore and I haven’t seen him for years. I told my new doctor that I have ADWD and experiencing terrible anxiety because of it (I didn’t mention to her about my other symptoms). She told me about going to counseling if I have anxiety and to take ADs but I told her I am traumatized from those drugs and don’t want to take them again or try different ones. I also asked for a sleep med but she said she’s not prescribing one since I am 19 (thinking back, I’m glad she didn’t, from this site I found out they might do more harm than good to me). She prescribed me hydroxyzine which supposedly helps with anxiety and sleep and it’s not an AD.

 

So I started taking the hydroxyzine and it gave me awful side effects. I thought it was just the WD symptoms at the time or both. I felt lightheaded, about to faint, chest pains, heart palpitations, airway narrowing, extreme fatigue, anxiety, fear. After a week of using it, I decided it was not helping and stopped. I found out about this site before stopping the hydroxyzine. I read that hydroxyzine could be bad when your in WD so that’s why I stopped. Ever since I stopped it, my insomnia became the worst (0-3 hrs of sleep from 10/17-10/27 and now around 4-5 hrs) and I had one of the worst waves I have experienced from 10/17-10/27 (if it even was a wave or a reaction from stopping hydro, or exacerbated WD symptoms due to stopping hydro, or maybe wave + exacerbated WD symptoms due to stopping hydro).

 

Right now I feel okay (mild symptoms these last 3 days) but the only symptom that I have that’s not improving or seeming to get worse is insomnia. Fortunately, since changing my melatonin to 0.75mg, I feel sleepy when it’s time to sleep but every time I’m about to fall asleep, I get intense anxiety and will startle and jerk awake and then get even more anxious afterwards. The anxiety goes away if I get up and move around or think about stimulating things but comes back when I try to sleep. If I were to go to bed at 11pm, I would fall asleep 3 hours or more later, sleep for 30 min., wake up for an hr or 2, sleep for 3-4 hrs, wake up for an hr or 2, sleep for 1 hr. I would lay in bed for 12-13 hrs a day so I could get as much sleep as I could but could only get 3-5 hrs.

 

I’m planning on trying B12 since I heard it could help with WD and taking magnesium glycinate 150mg a day (3 pills). I think the magnesium is helping with sleep and WD but I haven’t found the right dose yet (too little doesn’t do anything and too much makes me constantly hungry and stomach pain ). I only have my mom for some emotional support but she’s not the best in comforting me. I pretty much have myself for support. I’ll be sure to check out the links. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Star9086]

10/25: 

• Magnesium Citrate 125mg 
• Melatonin 0.75mg 10pm
• Bedtime 11:30pm, got up 12am to eat a bit due to stomach starving, went back to bed at 12:25am
• Slept 30 min-1 hr between 2-3:30am, slept 2 hrs. between 5:30-8am, woke up for 30 min then slept 2 more hrs.
• 10:30am wake up
• Slept about 4-5 hrs.

10/26:

• Magnesium Glycinate 50mg (changed because felt like mag citrate 125mg was too much — felt lightheaded, stomach pain and starving due to its fast digestion)
• 10pm Melatonin 0.75mg
• Bedtime 11:15pm
• Slept 30 min or less between 11:15-1:10am, woke up for some time, slept 30 min-1 hr, woke up for some time, fell asleep
• Got up at 9am
• Slept about 4 hrs.

10/27:

• Magnesium Glycinate 50mg at 6:30pm
• Melatonin 0.75mg 11pm
• Bedtime 11pm
• Couldn’t fall asleep right away, woke up many times, remembered dreaming a few times
• Got up 9:15am
• Slept 3-4 hrs. or less

10/28:

• Melatonin 0.75mg 7:30pm
• Bedtime 10:45pm
• Couldn’t sleep due to intense anxiety so got up at 1:45am to take mag gly 50mg (didn’t take any till now), fell asleep at 3am and slept till 8:15am I think
• Got up at 8:15am, felt like could’ve slept an hr. more but had appt. to go to 
• Slept 5-5 1/2 hrs. 

10/29:

• Magnesium Glycinate 50mg 4pm, 10pm
• Melatonin 0.75mg 8:30pm
• Bed 11pm
• Fell asleep around 3:30am and slept 30 min or less, woke up for some time, fell asleep and slept till 7:30am, woke up for some time and fell asleep
• Got up 9:30am
• Slept 4-4 1/2 hrs.

10/30:

• Magnesium Glycinate 50mg 2pm, 7pm, 5am (next day)
• Melatonin 0.75mg 9pm
• Bed 11pm
• Slept about 30 min between 12-2:30am, woke up for 3 1/2 hrs., fell asleep around 6pm, slept 3 1/2 hrs.
• Got up at 9:45am
• Slept 3-4 hrs.

10/31:

Melatonin - Yes, I did. I think it was at 8pm. About 0.75mg (see this post)

• B12 2500mcg 4:30pm
• Magnesium Glycinate 50mg 6pm, 8pm, 10pm
• Bed 10pm
• Could not sleep at all, got up at 5 or 6am and took another mag gly 50mg pill, fell asleep in an hr. or more and slept for 2 hrs.
• Slept 2 hrs.

11/1:

• B12 2500mcg 4pm
• Magnesium Glycinate 50mg 3x
• Melatonin 0.40mg 6pm
• Bed 9pm (the melatonin change, lack of sleep, or both made me dizzy and depressed so I had to go to bed earlier)
• Couldn’t sleep, mag gly 50mg at 12:30am, still couldn’t sleep, mag gly 50mg 6am, fell asleep in an hr. or more, slept for 1 hr, couldn’t sleep any more
• Slept 1 hr.

 

I really need some help right now. My sleep is getting worse and I feel like it has to do with my melatonin dosage and/or magnesium glycinate dosage and also time of those taken. I don’t know how much melatonin and magnesium I should take and when I should take them. 

 

I’ve been taking melatonin 0.75 mg (not exact) for a week and a half (I took a 3mg pill and broke it into quarters with a knife which makes them all unequal) and swallow it 1-3 hrs. before bed. I heard that you’re supposed to take it at sunset but I find that if I don’t go to bed 1 1/2-2 hrs later after taking it, I’ll feel weak, very tired, and about to faint/lose consciousness. I tried to lower the melatonin to about 0.40mg last night and take it at sunset but it made me so depressed and dizzy/felt like throwing up a bit. I was confused at whether it’s the constant lack of sleep, WD, or melatonin change but I think it’s the melatonin change. Should I reduce it more and when before bed should I take it? Can I take it again if I woke up at night and if so how much?

 

For the magnesium glycinate, I find that it definitely helps with sleep and WD symptoms (see 10/28) but I am so puzzled on how much I should take, when I should i take it, if I should take more than 50mg or less at a time, and how many I should take a day (how many divided dosages). I think that if I take too much mag gly, my sleep gets worse, although it doesn’t negatively affect my other WD symptoms.

 

Another thing, I have a sleep study to do on Sunday and I’m so worried I can’t go to sleep. I need the sleep study done so my jaw surgeon can decide whether just my lower jaw or both upper and lower jaws be moved and if I have sleep apnea and need a CPAP but how are they going to do that if I can barely sleep for an hr in 12 hrs? I’m also so weak right now due to WD and going anywhere could make me collapse. I’m afraid I might puke at the sleep study or not be able to handle the WD symptoms while there.

 

Edited November 3, 2018 by ChessieCat
added in melatonin info for 10/31

[ChessieCat]

Did you take melatonin on 10/31?

[Star9086]

Yes, I did. I think it was at 8pm. About 0.75mg. 

[Star9086]

I typed these out from my sleep log and diary. After 10/31 I got so tired I didn’t write in my sleep log and diary and so I have to rely on memory to record my sleep for 10/31 and 11/1 and so forgot to put in the melatonin I took.

[manymoretodays]

Hi Star9086,

Can you call them......the sleep study people.........so, that you know what to expect?  Have you had one of these done before?  It's possible they may not want you to take anything prior to the study........I don't know.  Best to talk with them to allay some of your anxieties, around that and get more information.

Here's the link on melatonin:  Melatonin for sleep

I take mine directly before shutting out the lights, and going to sleep.  Mine is a sublingual(melts in my mouth under my tongue form). 

Take a look at the link.  Have you had a chance to look at the one in my first post on cortisol spikes?  It's at the bottom of my first post.

Sounds like you had a paradoxical reaction from the hydroxyzine.  Paradoxical meaning it does the opposite of what it's intended to.  Possibly side effects too.

I'd stay away from that.

Can you use Drugs.com to check on medications before you try them.  It's a good site to learn more about medications.  In case something else is prescribed for you.

 

And wow......I'm seeing some nights of 5 and then 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep in your notes.  That's good.  And thank you for the notes.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

[dj2010]

might want to give the melatonin a break, ive noticed when take it more than 4 - 5 days in a row it stops working and often goes paradoxical, maybe try cutting out all supplements for a few days and see if sleep improves, when my insomnia got bad it was often to do with supplements or sleep aids was taking, epsom salt baths work the best for me 

 

Edited November 3, 2018 by ChessieCat
removed quote

[Altostrata]

Hello, Star.

 

You were okay while taking 5mg Lexapro June-July but started to have a bad reaction when you added trazodone? Then you quit both of them in July? You were taking Lexapro every day for only a couple of weeks?

 

Your sleep became even worse after you went off Lexapro and trazodone in July? Is that correct?

 

Do you clench your teeth? Do you have pain in your jaw joint? Are you using a night guard?

 

Good to see you've made your sleep time more regular. That is important in correcting your sleep cycle. Your natural melatonin is triggered by darkness. If you turn off all lights when you take your melatonin, you will be working with your natural cycle.

 

Since you're in a vulnerable stage right now, if I were you, I'd stop using the computer and phone by 6 p.m., they interfere with sleep, too.

 

Getting some natural light in the day is also important to re-setting your natural sleep cycle. Highly recommend at least a half-hour each day of walking in the daylight, the exercise is also good for re-setting your nervous system.

 

Unlikely the sleep study will reveal much, generally they're looking for sleep apnea, a breathing problem.

[Star9086]

manymoretodays,

 

i never had a sleep study done before and I tried calling multiple times but no one picks up. I heard this place is even known for not picking up calls and bad customer service. It took me 9 months to schedule this sleep study (I need it to be done so my jaw surgeon can decide how my jaw should be moved - orthodontist says I have to get a jaw surgery for my receding jaw). I tried calling them yesterday to reschedule but since no one picked up, I have to go on Sunday. I have no choice but to ask while there. 

 

I checked the link already but i’ll look at it again.

 

the hydroxyzine definitely caused my sleep to deteriorate like this. I wished I never took it! Before hydro I could sleep like 5-9 hrs. of broken sleep but now it’s 3 hrs if I’m lucky. 

 

[Star9086]

dj2010,

 

I sort of want to try but I’m so afraid of my WD sleep problems (the increasing anxiety when trying to fall asleep, jerks, restlessness, itchiness, tremors, feeling uncomfortable in bed for hours on end) and other WD symptoms. I know for sure the magnesium glycinate helps calm me down a bit and helps with sleep I just don’t know how much to take. My multivitamin also helps for calming.  The melatonin at least makes me feel a little sleepy. If I don’t take it I can’t feel sleepy at all.

[Bertie]

I had terrible insomnia when I tapered too quickly a couple of years ago. One thing that helped was to have a consistent, rather long pre-bedtime routine of relaxing activities. The one that helped me the most was a yoga sequence on YouTube - “Beginners yoga for relaxation and sleep, flexibility stretches for stress, anxiety and pain relief” on Psychtruth channel by Erica Vetra. I would do this on top of my bed, with lights dimmed, and emphasize deep breathing through the whole routine. It ends with “legs up the wall” pose which is very relaxing. It’s a simple routine to memorize, so once I did that there was no need to play the video. Then I would get under the covers and continue deep breathing. I felt like it was signaling my mind that it was time to sleep. I also like “All 7 chakras healing meditation music” by meditative mind on YouTube, just to listen and breathe deeply to when lying in bed. It’s like our mind forgets how to unwind and shut down for sleep and we have to retrain it with cues. 

 

I remember as a teenager benefiting  from “catch-up sleep”’ aka naps on Saturday  or Sunday afternoons, which I encourage my daughter to do now. There have been some studies done that show teenagers need much more sleep than school schedules have allowed, to the point that some schools have considered delaying their schedules to improve grades. Although the prevalent advice is not to take naps in order to stick to a consistent nighttime schedule, if you are able to nap during the day you may want to try it. Sometimes I wonder if forcing ourselves to be alert all day makes it harder to wind down when night comes, paradoxically. 

 

I hope something works for you soon. I’ve never done a sleep study, but if there’s a possibility of apnea, it should be worth it. A solid 8 hours a night seems so essential for healing.

[Star9086]

Altostrata,

 

I took lexapro for 3 weeks. I didn’t really have a bad reaction with Trazodone, it just didn’t help with sleep/did barely anything to me (It was prescribed for my insomnia). After quitting both of them, I had WD immediately. 

 

Yes, my sleep became worse. 

 

I don’t know if I clench me teeth. I used to do it a lot before I took lexapro. I get jaw pain sometimes but that’s due to my jaw structure. I don’t use a night guard.

 

I’ll try out your tips. 

 

I have to get a sleep study done to see if I have sleep apnea and need a CPAP machine and for my jaw surgeon to decide if it’s better my lower jaw be moved or both jaws. I have a receding jaw and so I need jaw surgery to fix it and also to help with sleep apnea (if I have it).

 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Also recommend using a night guard if you have jaw pain. Withdrawal often causes even more tension in the jaw and bruxism, too.

 

If you used to sleep better, it's unlikely you suddenly have sleep apnea. The hydroxyzine may have been coincidental with a worsening of withdrawal syndrome. Or, it may have gone paradoxical and worsened symptoms, as you're very sensitive now.

 

Magnesium citrate or glycinate is more effective taken in small doses throughout the day. You can take as much as you like, if you get gut upset or loose stools, you're taking too much. You can put mag citrate in water and sip it throughout the day. See http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

My guess is you have withdrawal syndrome from Lexapro. Do you have any left? If not, I would request a prescription for liquid Celexa, Lexapro's gentler sibling, and reinstate perhaps 0.5mg to start. This should reduce the anxiety, tension, and sleeplessness from withdrawal. You'd taper off by miniscule amounts later.

[Star9086]

11/2:

• B12 2500mcg 2:15pm
• Magnesium Glycinate 50mg 4pm, 9:15pm, 12am (next day), 4:40am
• Melatonin 0.30mg (maybe too low, didn’t really do anything)
• Bed 10:25pm
• Couldnt sleep, felt restless, anxious, and itchy so took mag gly at 12am, maybe slept 20 min or less between 1-4am, took mag gly again at 4:40am, fell asleep around 6:30am and slept 30 min, woke up for some time around 7am, slept for an hr, woke up at 9am for some time then slept for an hr.
• Slept 2-2 1/2 hrs.

 

I don’t think I can stand sleeping this little for much longer. It feels like torture laying in bed for hours on end in horrible discomfort. I feel weaker and more awful each day. I feel like going to the ER each night. I’m considering taking a drug if my sleep doesn’t improve in next few days. It’s so unbearable! I want to know if I can’t take it anymore, what drug should I use to get me to sleep? Can I take the lorazepam again? I used it before to get me to relax and sleep. I recall not experiencing anything bad while on it, though I feel like it loses effect the more I use it. Or is it better with a different drug? Please help.

[Altostrata]

No symptoms during the day?

 

Where is the itching? Do you have any rashes? Do you feel this during the day?

 

55 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

My guess is you have withdrawal syndrome from Lexapro. Do you have any left? If not, I would request a prescription for liquid Celexa, Lexapro's gentler sibling, and reinstate perhaps 0.5mg to start. This should reduce the anxiety, tension, and sleeplessness from withdrawal. You'd taper off by miniscule amounts later.

 

[Star9086]

Altostrata,

 

the thought of taking an AD again makes me want to scream. I’m so traumatized now I’m so scared of taking anything I’m not completely sure will make me feel better. The only drug I’m okay with is lorazepam though it does make me a little scared. Since I’ve taken it before and didn’t get a bad reaction it’s the only drug I’m okay with taking.

 

before lexapro, I had no problem with falling asleep unless I had a lot of anxiety. Once I fall asleep I could sleep for 7-9 hrs (with around 2-4 wake ups in between). But I’ve always snored and sometimes I know my breathing stops. My jaw surgeon said I have a narrow airway and I possibly might have sleep apnea.

[Star9086]

Before and during hydroxyzine my day symptoms were: anxiety (the worst symptom), panic, fear, depression, sadness, crying easily, chest tightness, shortness of breath, chest pain, lightheadedness, brain fog, sensitive stomach, fatigue, concentration problems, intrusive thoughts, heart palpitations, muscle weakness 

 

night symptoms were: anxiety, some brain zaps, muscle jerking, startling awake, shaking

 

The week after hydroxyzine my day symptoms and night symptoms were all of the above but more intense

 

since 10/27 my day symptoms gradually got less severe and went away but since my sleep got worse a few days ago, most of them came back but not as intense as during the week after hydroxyzine but now with new symptoms like bright objects moving in vision, some hallucinations, restlessness, trembling, muscle twitching, dizzy, and new night symptoms like itchyness and restlessness (cannot even be still for a few minutes in bed), and feeling too hot and too cold (sensitive to temperature)

 

i dont have rashes and no itching during the day

 

[Altostrata]

At least your symptoms are changing and moving in a good direction. It sounds like you had a paradoxical reaction to hydroxyzine. This is not unusual.

 

You won't want to have surgery if withdrawal syndrome, rather than sleep apnea or some jaw issue, is keeping you awake. If a little Celexa works, wouldn't you want to do that instead?

 

The brain zaps are definitely withdrawal syndrome. I need to know more about your symptom pattern. Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right.

 

[Star9086]

Altostrata,

 

I have to get jaw surgery regardless since I already decided to get it to fix my overbite 4 years ago with my orthodontist. I have braces on for 4 years and need to get them off (to do so I have to get jaw surgery done) and I even got a few of my teeth extracted in order for my jaw be moved. My jaw surgeon just needs to know whether I have sleep apnea (reason for sleep study) or not so to decide on whether to move my lower jaw out or both jaws out. After that I can finally get my braces off.

[Altostrata]

If I were you, I would not have elective or cosmetic surgery until you are stable on your drugs.

[Star9086]

I probably won’t get the surgery until February or later and yeah, I definitely don’t want to have one while I’m still feeling so awful. I hope by February I’ll be much better.

[Star9086]

11/3

• multivitamin and fish oil at breakfast 
• B12 2500mcg 4pm
• epsom salt bath 5pm
• magnesium glycinate 9:15pm, 4:35am (next day and not applying daylight saving time)
• melatonin.75mg 9pm
• bed 10pm
• slept like 1 1/2-2 1/2 hrs between 11:30pm-3am (not applying dst), took mag gly 50mg at 4:35am, fell asleep by 6:30am and slept maybe 1 1/2-2 hrs, woke up at 8:45am, fell asleep at 9:10am and slept about 30min 
• Slept 3-3 1/2 or 4 hrs. (not sure about exact amount but sleep felt a little better than yesterday in terms of amount and quality)

Night symptoms: some anxiety, restlessness, itchiness, too hot and too cold, short panic attack around 5:30am

 

 

11/4

 

(Have applied daylight saving time)

• multivitamin and fish oil at breakfast 
• B12 2500mcg around 1pm
• magnesium glycinate 50mg 7pm, 10:45pm, 2:20am
• melatonin .75mg 8 or 9pm
• bed 9:45pm
• kept getting brain zaps every time about to fall asleep and anxiety (more intense than past week or so), had to get up at 10:45pm and take mag gly 50mg
• fell asleep sometime later and slept maybe 30 min-1 hr
• got up at 2:20am and took mag gly 50mg
• fell asleep within 5-10 min and slept about 20 min.
• woke up and fell asleep around 30 min later and slept about 2 1/2-3 hrs
• woke up around 7am and stayed awake (couldn’t go back to sleep)
• Got up at 10am
• Slept 3 1/2-4 hrs. (I’m not entirely sure about this but I am sure that I slept a little more than yesterday)

Symptoms: headache that got more painful throughout day, dizzy, depressed (started at 4pm), tired, weak, brain fog, upset stomach in evening, some anxiety 

 

Night symptoms: brain zaps each time about to fall asleep, more anxiety (compared to last night), itchiness, restlessness 

 

 

11/5

 

Symptoms so far:

Anxious throughout day, slight headache, dizzy/mild nausea, brain fog, light sensitivity, noise sensitivity, mild depression, weak, trembling

 

 

I cancelled the sleep study and got it rescheduled to the 21st. I felt too horrible and my sleep was way too bad to go. On 11/3 I tried an epsom salt bath for the first time and soaked for 20 min. I used 2 cups. Honestly, it did make me feel better. I was about to skip showering that day because i was too exhausted but after the bath I got the energy to do it. My upset stomach also eased a bit and it helped my sleep. I felt less night anxiety and sleep dread. I slept a little more than the last night too. I’m going to try it again this evening and hopefully it will make me feel better this time too.

 

Yesterday, I didn’t take magnesium glycinate before bed. I usually take one an hr or less before bed because I think it helps me sleep more and feel less anxiety. I took it at 7pm instead and when I went to bed, I felt so much more anxious. I didn’t have a lot of anxiety before going to bed which is why I didn’t take one near bedtime but it increased while I was in bed. I think it’s best I keep taking magnesium glycinate near bedtime. 

[Star9086]

11/5

• Multivitamin and fish oil at breakfast
• B12 2500mcg 12:40pm
• Magnesium glycinate 50mg 12:40pm, 4:25pm, 10pm, 4:30am (next day)
• Epsom salt bath 7:45pm
• Melatonin .75mg 9pm
• Bed 10:35pm
• Slept maybe 1 1/2 hrs. between 11:35pm-2am with maybe 1-3 awakenings, awake from 2-5:30am, had to take mag gly 50mg at 4:30am because couldn’t go back to sleep, slept like 1 1/2 hrs. from 5:30-7am, woke up at 7am and was awake for maybe 30 min., then slept 1 1/2 hrs., woke up, couldn’t sleep passed 9:15am
• Slept 4-4 1/2 hrs. (sleep felt bit better than yesterday)

Night symptoms: some brain zaps, restlessness, itchiness, some anxiety 

 

11/6

• Multivitamin and fish oil at breakfast
• B12 2500mcg 5:30pm
• Magnesium glycinate 50mg 3:15pm, 7pm, 9:30pm
• Melatonin .75mg 9pm
• Bed 10:07pm
• Maybe slept 1 hr. between 11pm-12:30am, awake from 12:30-3:30am, woke up at 7:30am and slept maybe 3 1/2 hrs. with some awakenings, couldn’t sleep any more 
• Slept maybe 4-4 1/2 hrs. (bit better than yesterday, maybe)

Day symptoms: dizziness, mild nausea, tiredness, anxiety (flunctuates but more on low side, around 6:30pm is most anxious), brain fog, light and noise sensitivity, some depression

 

Night symptoms: restlessness, some anxiety 

 

11/7

• Multivitamin and fish oil after breakfast 
• B12 2500mcg 6pm
• Magnesium glycinate 50mg 1:05pm, 5pm, 10:30pm, 6am (next day)
• Melatonin .75mg 9:07pm
• Bed 11:30pm
• Slept maybe 15 min. between 12-12:35am, fell back asleep maybe 30 min. later, slept around 3 1/2 hrs. between 1-5am with 3 awakenings, woke up at 5am, took mag gly 50mg at 6am, fell asleep at around 6:30am, slept little less than an hour, woke up at 7:30am for some time, fell back asleep and slept maybe 30 min., woke up at 8:30am and tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t 
• Slept maybe 5 hrs. 15 min. (feels like I slept more than yesterday and quality feels bit better too)

Day symptoms: tiredness, anxiety (more around noon, 5pm, and 6:30pm), depression (7pm), constant mild dizziness and nausea, brain fog, noise and light sensitivity 

 

Night symptoms: mild itchiness, some restlessness, some anxiety 

[WiggleIt]

Hi Star,

I've been reading your thread, and before I respond, please know that I'm not a mod and therefore not as knowledgeable about tapers and dosages as mods are.  What I''ll share here is the best I can offer of my support and my personal opinions, but it's not medical advice.  It's just extra information that I'm sharing because the more you know the more you know, right?

If I'm understanding correctly, it sounds to me like you've got a few things going on:

1.) History of insomnia pre-dating meds
2.) Med WD 
3.) Worsened insomnia because of med WD

There is something you've got going for you in this whole situation: It doesn't look like you were on meds very long, and it sounds like you are pretty young, so I assume those things will greatly aid your recovery.  The road will look and feel unexpected and won't be linear, but you WILL get better.

I don't know if it help to hear the following, but I'll share it with you in case it does: One of my best friends has suffered with chronic insomnia his whole life.  He's had sleep studies done and the whole nine yards.  Turns out, there is something about his brain that simply does not kick into the normal, deep stages of sleep.  Somehow, though, he has found coping mechanisms and has managed to live a very normal life and is one of the most successful people I know.  It definitely took him some creative approaches to find what worked for him, though.  I know for a fact he doesn't drink or smoke because his theory is that if his brain doesn't do one of the things it's supposed to, then he doesn't want to risk pushing on any other levers.  Over the years, he has declined sleep meds or psych meds based on the same theory of not wanting to mess with stuff more.  I don't know if he takes supplements or anything, but I do know that one of the things that makes a huge difference for him is that he made it his mission to carve out a career for himself working from home.  That way, he could be free from worrying about showing up to work like a zombie in front of other people.  He still doesn't sleep as much as a normal person, but at home, he's always in a place where he can manage his body if he's working and zones out, or if he's working and wired.  

In my opinion, it sounds like you're overdoing it on supplements.  In WD, less is more (says me) when it comes to supplements.  Maybe once your WD insomnia levels out and you go back to your pre-pill levels of insomnia, then maybe that would be a better time to introduce more supplements.

You're going to get through this WD and through the WD-induced insomnia.  When you do, then you can find strategies to manage your original insomnia.  Like I said, my friend manages to do it, and he's pretty amazing!  I hope this give you some hope

 

[Star9086]

Thank you, Wigglelt for your encouragement and also for sharing your friend’s experience with their insomnia. I’ve been reading stories about people’s insomnia experiences so to calm my fears — it helps give me reassurance that I won’t have something terrible happen to me due to all the sleep deprivation (like my organs failing or dying). Hearing your story about your friend’s insomnia does help me a lot. 

 

Along with 1, 2, and 3, I have worsened insomnia from hydroxyzine that I took then stopped a few weeks ago. Before I took hydroxyzine, my insomnia was a lot more tolerable. I could fall asleep in around an hr or 2 and sleep for 7 hrs. average with 1-3 awakenings in between. Now, it’s like 5 hrs. with multiple awakenings, but fortunately it seems to be getting better each night which means I might be recovering from the hydroxyzine. 

 

About my supplements, I’ve decided to keep taking them. I don’t want to stop them all at once while I might be recovering from hydroxyzine since I’m afraid it might mess the recovery up. I am reducing the magnesium glycinate, however. I’ll only take it as needed (before bed to help with sleep anxiety, getting back to sleep after waking up, and when my WD day symptoms start to feel unbearable). Once my sleep gets to pre-hydroxyzine, I might cut out the melatonin. 

 

 

[Star9086]

Okay, it’s been around a month since I last posted, here’s an update. I want to be more specific than this and clearer but due to brain fog and fatigue this is as best I can make it.

 

First, sleep: 

 

Still irregular (I’m now getting anywhere around 3 1/2-8 hrs of sleep each night, mostly around 6-7 hrs, i got the 8 hrs maybe twice), I wake up 2-4 times each night still, falling asleep at bedtime is better (takes an hr. or under), I don’t have any noticeable night symptoms anymore, but if I wake up in middle of the night and stay awake for too long, my body starts trembling and then I’ll get agitated/anxious (this also happens if I can’t fall asleep in an hour at bedtime)

 

Supplements:

 

I added vitamin D3 since my doctor said I have a deficiency. She told me to take 2,000iu. My multivitamin already has 400iu and due to fear of withdrawal worsening, I’m only taking around 500iu vitamin d3 tablet a day. So 900iu in total each day. I’ll increase if my next blood test says I’m still deficient or when sleep becomes a lot better.

 

After SOOOO many experimentations and careful observations of symptoms, this is what I now decided on how to take my supplements

• Magnesium glycinate 50mg after breakfast, one 4 hrs. later, one 1-1 1/2 hrs. after melatonin, one if wake up and can’t fall asleep, one more if wake up again and can’t fall asleep
• Melatonin .2-.4mg during or after dinner (around 9-9:30pm), since changing melatonin from .75 to this, i have been sleeping better
• B12 reduced to 1250mcg taken after breakfast (2500mcg made me dizzy and anxious I think, also taken later in day feels like it makes insomnia worse)
• Multivitamin and fish oil at breakfast (only one fish oil a day since two feels like makes sleep worse)
• Vitamin D3 after breakfast

If I forget to take b12, I’ll not take it again until next day at right time since I believe taking it too late causes bad sleep and worsened wd symptoms

 

Day symptoms:

 

Mostly Tiredness, heavy brain fog, depression, neuro-emotions (was in a constant rage the last 3-5 days, prob. exacerbated by PMS)

 

Other things I want to mention:

If I can sleep less than 6 hrs, I know I did something wrong, unless it’s due to something I can’t help (stress from an event or whatever). If I can sleep at least 7 hrs, I won’t have any wd day symptoms except for mostly brain fog and mild fatigue. If I sleep less than that, I get a bunch of symptoms

 

I don’t think I experienced any waves yet or at least they are really short. Maybe my magnesium and supplements are holding it back.

 

My period hasn’t start yet, it’s been 24 days. It usually comes by now. I want my period to start so bad since I know i’ll feel a lot better and also get away from this pms.  I also like periods since it makes me feel cozy and warm. 

 

I think i developed seasonal affective disorder. The sun sets so early where I live. I don’t think it has ever set this early this time of year before.  It sets at 4:20pm. My depression gets worse after sunset.

[dj2010]

3 hours ago, Star9086 said:

Okay, it’s been around a month since I last posted, here’s an update. I want to be more specific than this and clearer but due to brain fog and fatigue this is as best I can make it.

 

First, sleep: 

 

Still irregular (I’m now getting anywhere around 3 1/2-8 hrs of sleep each night, mostly around 6-7 hrs, i got the 8 hrs maybe twice), I wake up 2-4 times each night still, falling asleep at bedtime is better (takes an hr. or under), I don’t have any noticeable night symptoms anymore, but if I wake up in middle of the night and stay awake for too long, my body starts trembling and then I’ll get agitated/anxious (this also happens if I can’t fall asleep in an hour at bedtime)

 

Supplements:

 

I added vitamin D3 since my doctor said I have a deficiency. She told me to take 2,000iu. My multivitamin already has 400iu and due to fear of withdrawal worsening, I’m only taking around 500iu vitamin d3 tablet a day. So 900iu in total each day. I’ll increase if my next blood test says I’m still deficient or when sleep becomes a lot better.

 

After SOOOO many experimentations and careful observations of symptoms, this is what I now decided on how to take my supplements

• Magnesium glycinate 50mg after breakfast, one 4 hrs. later, one 1-1 1/2 hrs. after melatonin, one if wake up and can’t fall asleep, one more if wake up again and can’t fall asleep
• Melatonin .2-.4mg during or after dinner (around 9-9:30pm), since changing melatonin from .75 to this, i have been sleeping better
• B12 reduced to 1250mcg taken after breakfast (2500mcg made me dizzy and anxious I think, also taken later in day feels like it makes insomnia worse)
• Multivitamin and fish oil at breakfast (only one fish oil a day since two feels like makes sleep worse)
• Vitamin D3 after breakfast

If I forget to take b12, I’ll not take it again until next day at right time since I believe taking it too late causes bad sleep and worsened wd symptoms

 

Day symptoms:

 

Mostly Tiredness, heavy brain fog, depression, neuro-emotions (was in a constant rage the last 3-5 days, prob. exacerbated by PMS)

 

Other things I want to mention:

If I can sleep less than 6 hrs, I know I did something wrong, unless it’s due to something I can’t help (stress from an event or whatever). If I can sleep at least 7 hrs, I won’t have any wd day symptoms except for mostly brain fog and mild fatigue. If I sleep less than that, I get a bunch of symptoms

 

I don’t think I experienced any waves yet or at least they are really short. Maybe my magnesium and supplements are holding it back.

 

My period hasn’t start yet, it’s been 24 days. It usually comes by now. I want my period to start so bad since I know i’ll feel a lot better and also get away from this pms.  I also like periods since it makes me feel cozy and warm. 

 

I think i developed seasonal affective disorder. The sun sets so early where I live. I don’t think it has ever set this early this time of year before.  It sets at 4:20pm. My depression gets worse after sunset.

 

Hi star, happy to see your insomnia is improving, this shows true healing, you are nearly sleeping as much as regular non withdrawal people,

 

as time goes on your nervous system will settle more and your sleep will become more solid,

 

try a SAD lamp for the seasonal affective disorder, can get a decent one on amazon for around £40,

 

keep up the healing