ajnjj: 2.5 years SSRI merry go round Off 3 lex months heres my story

[Romido]

Ajnjj,

Sorry you are in a rough patch. I hope it lifts for you soon. I do remember one day not too long ago when I felt like something was pressing down on me all day. The physical sensations are so strange. I hope your good windows show up soon!

[Nikki]

ajnjj and miestersinger when things got that bad for me "I" either went back on Lexapro or I took another medication.

 

In retrospect, it was all I could do. I just couldn't go on. I greatly admired people who were able to go through the process of WD and end up AD free. Will this be me. I don't know.

 

Tapers that are too fast are very rough. Believe me I feel for both of you....

[ajnjj]

Nikki,

I just don't know how I am going to get thru this.....did u feel better when u went back on meds after so long being off?????

[moses]

Hi Maria,

I too am feeling muscle pain, tingling, headaches, dizziness and anxiety and I am still on my med.

It is horrible but be comforted that you are not alone. There are many of us suffering and we are here

to support one another.

Hang in there!! There will be a light at the end of the tunnel soon for you!

Blessings,

Rosie

[ajnjj]

Hi rosie and thank you. I am sorry for anyone in this hell. I feel trapped in ny own head. Like I'm looking out of a window .... My anxiety is crazy. Considering taking a xanax today. I m making it worse for myself with these thoughts. I will try to think good thoughts for the rest if today. As hard as it may be. My head is spinning.

[Barbarannamated]

Ajnjj,

Im sorry you're having such a rough time. I have to admit, the anxiety was tough for me, but it kept me moving. I got in my car and drove and drove with music, sometimes for 6-7 hours at a time. I didnt realize it was withdrawal related. I didn't have anxiety prior to meds, so perhaps mine wasn't as bad as some. This complete lack of energy, motivation, care is worse for me and a severe version of what I had prior to drugs (the lack of energy). I feel like I weigh a thousand pounds.

Hopefully this will all level out. You send me some anxiety and I'll send you some BLAH. ;-)

 

Just sign me:

BLAHbara

[ajnjj]

Barb, how far are you in your withdrawal????

[Barbarannamated]

I'm having problems because I tapered too fast, ended about 1 year ago. Protracted withdrawal. And my life caught up with me.

[Dani]

I really feel for you. I'm in month 14 of this & some days are good & others are terrible. I hit a rough patch. The headaches are back. Also the tremors & anxiety. Some days I feel so helpless...today being one of them. I think what makes it worse is family. They are either ignorant or indifferent...not sure which one. I explain what I'm going through, and they either think I'm just being lazy or find it totally impossible that I'm feeling this way. The only thing I can say is stay strong...recovery will come one day soon.

[Barbarannamated]

Dani,

Im sorry you had a rough one. One thing about being on meds for so long is that I have no idea what 'normal' or 'well' would feel like at this age. What would be my 'normal' aches and pains, etc? I know I felt better before I tapered, but only because my world was so blunted.

I often say that im lonely and bored, but then I hear those of you struggling to keep up with jobs and families. I'm searching for that middle ground! If anybody locates it, please send me the GPS coordinates!

[ajnjj]

Awh, Im sorry Dani and Barb. But I understand. Barb, like I said, I don't know what thse feelings are!!! Sometimes I think I do have An awful disease . Maybe a tumor they can't find. Idk. It's just a big mess for me. I hope you guys have better days ahead.

[ajnjj]

Hi all,

 

Today is my 6 month mark. I feel like I should get a chip like they give in AA.

 

I am now having insomnia. First time in many months actually. Can't find the cause. Trying to just let it pass. Still have head pressure. Still have dizziness. Still have tingling in feet and left hand/Arm.

 

Don't have the runs anymore. I don't have depression now. I don't feel so scared.

 

I will keep fighting the good fight. Hopefully this will mark the beginning of my recovery....

 

Hugs to all.

[Romido]

Great update! Nice to hear from you! Keep going, you will make it!

[Nikki]

So happy to hear this

 

Hugs

[Altostrata]

Good for you, ajnjj. Let's see if we can do something about sleep:

 

- Is your bedroom as dark, quiet, and cool as possible? Sleep mask?

- Turn lights off at nightfall? No computer in the evening?

- Try melatonin?

[ajnjj]

Yes alto thank you. Have tried all. Actually did chammomile and melatonin the other night worked very well!!!!

My head is a little funny and I have the feeling of bugs crawling on my skin.

 

Other than that I'm ok. The head stuff freaks me out though.

[jfrank17]

ajnjj, happy to see your improving updates. Gives me hope that things will improve, especially these extreme emotion spells.

 

I feel most freaked out by the head spells I have as well. 25 mg of Benadryl (diphenhdramine)does seem to help but I'm trying to find other things to mix it up with because it seems to lose efficacy for me after awhile if I take it every night. I have some magnesium and melatonin on the way that I'm hoping may be helpful.

[ajnjj]

jfrank,

 

FYI antihistamines made my depersonalization/derealization much much worse. have not taken antihistamines in over 7 months. in a rush but when i have time i readover your back story and we will chat. hope today is a good day!!!!

[ajnjj]

Well, the last week has been horrifying.

 

There. I said it. All my positivity went out the window. 6 months off lexapro. I started feeling dizzy again, like , a lot. Then weak fatigued muscles. Heavy limbs and head. Extreme exhaustion. Bad brain fog. Pressure in head and face. Balance issues. This has been relentless all week. Since last Sunday. Started with bug crawling feeling.

 

I don't get it. Is it a wave? Is it something else? It sure feels like it. Doc said possible fibromyalgia. I'm not sure I believe that but who knows???

 

I do know I'm not taking any more meds. That's one thing I do know.

 

I was thinking if trying mag malate. I tried the glycinate and didn't get much result. Anyone try the Malate?

 

I'm tired. My body hurts. My brain hurts. It keeps going in slow mo too. That's fun. This feels like it will never end. I hate feeling helpless and hopeless.

 

I hope everyone doing better than me ....

[Barbarannamated]

Anniej,

 

Sounds like when the crashing wave hit me, also, but I have alot of lifecrap going on, too.

 

The hardest part of this for me is the rollercoaster each day. Every morning im pretty certain that "i'm not going to live" and it eases up thru the day so I think "tomorrow will be better". Then Groundhog Day again.

 

I hope you're feeling a bit better. Does yours follow a pattern thru the day?

 

Hugs!

Barb

[Altostrata]

Sounds like a bad wave, ajnjj.

 

Mag malate and glycinate are among the most absorbable. Can't say one is better than the other.

 

Are you taking fish oil?

[ajnjj]

Hi alto,

 

I just started back on fish oil but I'm not sure if its making me worse? I never had a reaction before.

[ajnjj]

Barb,

 

It's so random my days. It's hour by hour literally. I wake up and I'm ok for an hour. Then things start happening. Dizzy. Nauseas. Foggy. Irritable. Dizzy. Heart palps.

 

I just want to feel regular.

[Altostrata]

ajnjj, if the bad symptoms started at the same time you started the fish oil, reduce it or stop it and see if the symptoms go down.

[ajnjj]

Well stopped taking fish oils. Now I'm strictly in mag. Afraid to take anything else. This wave has not passed yet. And the health anxiety is back although I am trying to fight it. My doc once said Lyme or MS. Ms was ruled out. Now I'm thinking Lyme. Although its probably wd. But almost 7 months off still terrible wd symptoms?

 

I want to scream. I'm sorry. I need to stay positive. It's difficult.

[Skyler]

Well stopped taking fish oils. Now I'm strictly in mag. Afraid to take anything else. This wave has not passed yet. And the health anxiety is back although I am trying to fight it. My doc once said Lyme or MS. Ms was ruled out. Now I'm thinking Lyme. Although its probably wd. But almost 7 months off still terrible wd symptoms?

 

I want to scream. I'm sorry. I need to stay positive. It's difficult.

 

Hi ajnjj, what kind of Magnesium are you taking. I recently started 800 mgs of Mg. Stearate at HS with no ill effects. So far it seems to have cut the amount of Requip I need in half but some forms are more beneficial than others. See this link, courtesy of Barb.~S

[ajnjj]

Hi 400 mg of glycinate.

[Nikki]

Hi ajnjj....we want to scream with you. We really know how bad it can get and feel deeply.

 

If I sound like a broken record forgive me. I had a very difficult time with wd from lexapro, and it took me 2 years to taper. You were advised to do it quickly and it has been several months since you stopped. I am thinking, based on my experience that it has to be hitting you hard.

 

Supplements scare me. I honestly don't know if Fish Oil ever helped. WD was murder regardless. The only supplement I knew work (temporarily) was cal/mag fizz. It did stop anxiety very quickly (for me). There was a price to pay.....It causes diarrhea.

 

I have read that the glycinate is very good for anxiety. Propanolol works for me as well.

I don't care for benzos. Actually I don't care for anxiety

 

Propanolol can be a life saver when anxiety is really bad.

 

Hope you turn a corner very soon and feel better....lots of hugs

[Skyler]

Well stopped taking fish oils. Now I'm strictly in mag. Afraid to take anything else. This wave has not passed yet. And the health anxiety is back although I am trying to fight it. My doc once said Lyme or MS. Ms was ruled out. Now I'm thinking Lyme. Although its probably wd. But almost 7 months off still terrible wd symptoms?

 

I want to scream. I'm sorry. I need to stay positive. It's difficult.

 

ajnjj.. do you live in an area where there are beaucoup tics? I was in Wareham, MA for a few years and it's so bad the doc of a friend who was so diagnosed (he was brushed by some leaves from a tree branch on his very first ride..bullett rash, though not everyone develops this, or is it always in an area easily seen).. anyhow, back to the doc. He told my friend that there was not one family in his practice that did not have at least one member who had been effected. I'm not trying to increase your health anxiety, but if you have symptoms that fit Lymes', you may want to find a doc who is knowlegable in the area. I went to one and got screened out on my first visit (not Lymes, fibro), and you may find same.

 

I'm really sorry to hear you are being hit so hard again.~S

 

a follow up on Magnesium. I don't have problems getting hyper, so enhancing withdrawal symptoms, but I did not sleep last night. I'm going back to 400 mgs. I actually read the pill bottle wrong.. duh!.. will take less tonite. Thanks awfully for the info.

[ajnjj]

Thanks Nikki and Schuyler I truly hope you are all better than I today.

 

I know I sound like a broken record as well. And for that I'm sorry. I am going to get the Lyme rechecked. Maybe start an antibiotic protocol. I am not sure about the fleas but I am on Long Island and there are massive tics.

 

ThNks for allowing me to vent.

[Skyler]

Thanks Nikki and Schuyler I truly hope you are all better than I today.

 

I know I sound like a broken record as well. And for that I'm sorry. I am going to get the Lyme rechecked. Maybe start an antibiotic protocol. I am not sure about the fleas but I am on Long Island and there are massive tics.

 

ThNks for allowing me to vent.

 

thanks for the pick up on that ajnjj.. I meant to say ticks and will edit my previous post. I'm ordering some flea and tic stuff for the dog!!!

yup, definitely ticks for Lymes. I've read they are bad where you are. ~S

[Nikki]

ajnjj....

 

I am originally from NYC and spent many years on Long Island.....love Long Island.

Yes there is a huge tic problem there, has been for years, particulary in Suffolk County.

 

In my heart, I believe you are feeling WD symptoms, however it may give you some peace of mind to get the test to rule out the LD.

It seems to be a common occurrence for people who came off ssri's quickly, they can have a good spell and then everything seems to hit the fan all at once which can be very disheartening.

 

See if you can get a Rx for the propanolol for those rough anxiety patches. I know for myself that if I break the cycle of anxiety it settles me down.

 

Anxiety > Fear > More Anxiety > More Fear > More Adrenaline/Cortisol Drops > More Fear >

Fatigue and Depression. It really becomes a vicious cycle.

 

PS I think about Montauk Point and the Lobster Roll every summer

[meistersinger]

Thanks Nikki and Schuyler I truly hope you are all better than I today.

 

I know I sound like a broken record as well. And for that I'm sorry. I am going to get the Lyme rechecked. Maybe start an antibiotic protocol. I am not sure about the fleas but I am on Long Island and there are massive tics.

 

ThNks for allowing me to vent.

 

I was recently exchanging email with a former music professor/composer and his wife that lived in my area for many years who moved to Arizona about 3 years ago. It turns out they both suffer from Lyme's disease. It took the specialists at the Hospital of the University of PA 9 YEARS to determine that they suffer from Lyme.

[ajnjj]

Well, I am going to say you are right Nikki, it probably is wd. Thanks for your kind words. Maybe ill look I to the propanol.

 

Shuyler, thank you for your thoughts and advice on the subject! You are very informed in lots of areas!!!

,

Mei, I can see that happening. I've read horror stories about people suffering from Lyme for years and years without a proper dx. It's amazing how far we have come with medical advancements ... We can remake a limb! Yet can't dx Lyme or help people in wd. What a disaster.

[Altostrata]

I grew up on Long Island. I miss the weather. Not the ticks. (I got one in my hair one summer on Montauk.)

[meistersinger]

 

Mei, I can see that happening. I've read horror stories about people suffering from Lyme for years and years without a proper dx. It's amazing how far we have come with medical advancements ... We can remake a limb! Yet can't dx Lyme or help people in wd. What a disaster.

 

Especially Adams County PA (Gettysburg). You're getting into the foothills of the Appalacian mountains once you get past Seminary Ridge (on the west side of town). As smarter of fact, the Appalacian Trail went past campus where I did my graduate work (Shippensburg University). That area is a hotbed of Deer tick activity.