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Undiagnosed1 - Fully functional


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undiagnosed1-unsure-of-what-to-do-next

 

22 months off Mirtazapine C/T

15 months off Trazodone fast tapper 

14 months off Coreg fast taper 

12 months off gabapintin  fast taper 

 

It is difficult for me to come back to SA, but I swore that if I managed to get past my withdrawal syndrome that I would come back and write my success story.

 

When I was at my worst I read success stories all day everyday, over and over again. I needed hope and this site was the only hope I had. No one understood  how badly I was suffering. Everyone gave up on me....except my wife, she would cry with me and tell me that she knew I was still in there and that one day we would resume our life.

 

At the time I didn't believe I was ever going to get better I was so entrenched in crippling anxiety, crushing depression and guilt. I suffered so badly with a wide range of symptoms for so long that everyday was a battle just to survive.

 

I couldn't work for a year and four months and when I did manage to go back I would say I was only 50% still dealing with cortisol mornings, intense fear and impending doom, driving in traffic was a serious challenge. My wife was 3 months from giving birth when I knew I had to get up and attempt to work, I refused to let this beat me and was determined to be the best father I could be. I cried on the way to work and I cried on the way home daily for sometime, hell many times I took break just to cry.

 

It's difficult to remember when things started getting better  " about 15-16 months after C/T of Mirtazapine " but once things began to significantly improve it was fairly rapid. Cortisol mornings, horrible thoughts upon waking, intense fear, doom, guilt, self harm thoughts etc etc faded one after another within a few months.

 

At that point I was left with terrible short term memory and off and on kaleidoscope vision that scared the crap out of me. The vision issue has faded but the memory issue persist which I don't let bother me much, I just take more notes.

 

Though out my withdrawal I helped take care of my mother in law whom was dying of cancer, we held each other everyday and she told me I had to get better to take care of her daughter and the baby that was coming  because she wasn't going to make it. My mother in law got to enjoy her first grandchild for 5 weeks before passing.

 

After she passed and things were calming down I realized I had made it. I was working a full time job, my emotions were back to normal.. I felt sadness, happiness I could smile,laugh, make jokes etc etc. We had our first child June 8th 2018, this little boy was like a ray of sunshine to me and gave me the drive to continue to build my coping skills and live life the best that I could, I changed professions to reduce stress in my life, I don't rush around like I used to, I don't stress the small stuff anymore, we take mini vacations regularly and above all else My wife and I are best friends, we appreciate each other so much more than before.

 

I am very thankful that the human brain has a way filing trauma away, It's not something I think about all the time now. Every once and a while I'll have a little flash back of the suffering  but it's momentary and it passes, I don't let it drag me down.

 

The symptoms I have listed are only the tip of the iceberg but I won't list them all, lets face it it's not going to do any of us any good to read though that over and over. I want to give thanks to all the admins who do what they do, You all are true " angels " without you all there are so many people who would be lost and at the mercy of their " doctors "  I will try and check in for the next couple of weeks to try and provide any help and or hope that I can.

 

Onward and upwards my friends 👍 

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added spacing

december 25th 2016 gabapentin 900mg 1500mg increased january 5th 2017 between may and june decreased from 1500 mg to 700 mg 

december 25th 2016 remeron 15mg 2 week taper stopped febuary 26th withdrawal leveled out in may 

december 27th 2016 coreg 12.5mg x2 a day

december 28th 2016 trazodone 100mg january 6th 75mg january 8th 50mg january 10th 25mg january 15th 37.5mg june 12th 25 mg 

hydroxyzine 25 mg prn 

colozopam .5 only taken .25 in two moths 

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U1 thank you for sharing your story. All of us need a little pick-me-up from time to time to get through this. I was a cold turkey too. I'm at about eight months right now since the cold turkey thank God I reinstated after 3 weeks.

 

Is there anything specifically that you noticed when you started making breakthroughs in your recovery.

 

It's great that your wife helped you get through this. Sorry about the loss of your mother-in-law.

 Russ 

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Fully functional - Undiagnosed1

Thank you so much @Undiagnosed1for coming back to write your success story it has made me happy to know that all the insane symptoms I'm currently suffering with, which you had also, will go at some point hopefully sometime this year if not the next. You made my day. 😃

May 2014 - July 2015 0.5 Clonazapam (cold turkey off)

October 2014 - November 2014 took Beta Blocker Propranolol (fast taper off)

December 2014 - began 2.5mg Lexapro worked up to 30mg Lexapro over 3 months

December 2014 - 2 mg Valium started sometimes took up to 6 mg Valium

April 2015 - started 25mg Lamictal worked up to 100mg Lamictal

April 2015  - began taper 4mg Valium. Stopped Valium 

July 2015 - stopped crumb of 2mg Valium

September 2017 began taper 30mg Lexapro.

February 2018 last dose Lexapro 1.25mg

Current 2019 - 100mg Lamictal at night.

October 2020 - Began 10% taper Dec 2019. was going ok until tapered from 45mg - 40mg. 1 week later all hell broke loose. Updosed to 45mg Hoping to stabilise 

 

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what a wonderful story- thankyou for sharing and giving us all hope!!! 💕

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg

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On 1/18/2019 at 9:25 PM, RusTW said:

U1 thank you for sharing your story. All of us need a little pick-me-up from time to time to get through this. I was a cold turkey too. I'm at about eight months right now since the cold turkey thank God I reinstated after 3 weeks.

 

Is there anything specifically that you noticed when you started making breakthroughs in your recovery.

 

It's great that your wife helped you get through this. Sorry about the loss of your mother-in-law.

 Russ 

 Russ,

              I'm glad I can provide a little boost in moral. I would say I started noticing that it was easier to leave the house and do basics like going to the grocery store "short stints" hopelessness faded and the desire to be productive started to come back all be it in the windows and wave pattern. Emotions became more normal " I wasn't crying everyday". The first time I had a good deep belly laugh I had to excuse myself, I walked outside and just broke down crying because it had been so long and I never thought I would be "that guy" again. And If there's one thing I can say for sure is that jumping from drug to drug looking for relief did not benefit me in any way, I eventually made the commitment that I was going to be free from my pharma prison sentence.  Keep you head up and keep moving forward Russ and if there is anything I can help you with please reach out.

december 25th 2016 gabapentin 900mg 1500mg increased january 5th 2017 between may and june decreased from 1500 mg to 700 mg 

december 25th 2016 remeron 15mg 2 week taper stopped febuary 26th withdrawal leveled out in may 

december 27th 2016 coreg 12.5mg x2 a day

december 28th 2016 trazodone 100mg january 6th 75mg january 8th 50mg january 10th 25mg january 15th 37.5mg june 12th 25 mg 

hydroxyzine 25 mg prn 

colozopam .5 only taken .25 in two moths 

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8 hours ago, Hopetobefree said:

Thank you so much @Undiagnosed1for coming back to write your success story it has made me happy to know that all the insane symptoms I'm currently suffering with, which you had also, will go at some point hopefully sometime this year if not the next. You made my day. 😃

Hope,

              Your positive attitude is like a ray of sunshine👍 I am so happy to see that you have not condemned yourself to eternal suffering, you will absolutely make it and you will rediscover yourself in ways you may have long forgotten due to these meds.

Keep up the positive attitude, it can be infectious and much needed when others are having a hard time.   

december 25th 2016 gabapentin 900mg 1500mg increased january 5th 2017 between may and june decreased from 1500 mg to 700 mg 

december 25th 2016 remeron 15mg 2 week taper stopped febuary 26th withdrawal leveled out in may 

december 27th 2016 coreg 12.5mg x2 a day

december 28th 2016 trazodone 100mg january 6th 75mg january 8th 50mg january 10th 25mg january 15th 37.5mg june 12th 25 mg 

hydroxyzine 25 mg prn 

colozopam .5 only taken .25 in two moths 

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57 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

what a wonderful story- thankyou for sharing and giving us all hope!!! 💕

 Cow,

            Hope is what we must hold on to. Onward and upward my friend 👍

december 25th 2016 gabapentin 900mg 1500mg increased january 5th 2017 between may and june decreased from 1500 mg to 700 mg 

december 25th 2016 remeron 15mg 2 week taper stopped febuary 26th withdrawal leveled out in may 

december 27th 2016 coreg 12.5mg x2 a day

december 28th 2016 trazodone 100mg january 6th 75mg january 8th 50mg january 10th 25mg january 15th 37.5mg june 12th 25 mg 

hydroxyzine 25 mg prn 

colozopam .5 only taken .25 in two moths 

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58 minutes ago, Undiagnosed1 said:

 Russ,

              I'm glad I can provide a little boost in moral. I would say I started noticing that it was easier to leave the house and do basics like going to the grocery store "short stints" hopelessness faded and the desire to be productive started to come back all be it in the windows and wave pattern. Emotions became more normal " I wasn't crying everyday". The first time I had a good deep belly laugh I had to excuse myself, I walked outside and just broke down crying because it had been so long and I never thought I would be "that guy" again. And If there's one thing I can say for sure is that jumping from drug to drug looking for relief did not benefit me in any way, I eventually made the commitment that I was going to be free from my pharma prison sentence.  Keep you head up and keep moving forward Russ and if there is anything I can help you with please reach out.

Thanks U1 Best wishes to You and your family. GREAT JOB 

 Russ

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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God Bless you and your family.  Thank you so much for coming back to share your inspirational story. So nice to hear that you and your MIL could help each other.  She is likely watching you from above and will be a guardian angel for you praying for you all.  

Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg
Spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1pw4tjImAJ92OIVyRvZoZYjqxiKMk7wvp-ljiIi1olRo/edit#gid=0

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Congratulations! 😊 And thank you for coming back to write and sharing your success story, it really means a lot 💕

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wow! It seems like you overcame a lot to get to today! Good luck in the future and kudos to you for your hard work!

My medications were short-timed and low-dosed, but still affected my life a lot; all this is in 2017.

June 21 - June 28 (inpatient) - 300 mg lithium

June 6 -  July 14 (inpatient then outpatient) - 10 mg zyprexa

July 14 - July 17 (outpatient try taper) - 7.5 mg zyprexa

July 18 - July 21 (outpatient doctor changed) - 10 mg zyprexa

July 21 - July 24 (outpatient doctor said got worse) -  15 mg zyprexa

July 25 - now (quit ct with family supervision) - nothing

 

I quit ct and was successful, but there were tons of symptoms and without my family support probably impossible. My situation was fortunate, and maybe if I tapered there would be less symptoms. But I feel what worked was a will to keep going, patience, and attitude to want to get better in any situation ct or tapering.

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So happy to hear that you are doing better.  It is inspirational.  Hope you continue to see improvements and enjoy your life with your young child and wife.

PAST

Gabapentin:  about 6 months in 2015, 300-900 mg, cold turkeyed Sept 2015 (at same time dc'd Klonopin)

Klonopin: June 2014- Sept 2015; 1mg tapered over 6 mths, dc'd at 0.25mg, withdrawal hellish (perhaps because of concurrent dc of gabapentin)

Mirtazepine: Jumped off at 2.4 mg. (stable in 8 months).

Seroquel:  June 14 - July 24, 2016, 25 mg alternate nights; smaller doses for shorter periods. Total use about 3 months 

Lamictal: March 19, 2018 - 1 mg; March 23 - 1.25 mg; April 6 - 2mg. Discontinued at 2 mgJuly 1, 2018 due to Steven Johnson Syndrome.

 

CURRENT

Supplements: Vit D, turmeric

Naturethroid: 65 mcg for hypothyroidism

Trazodone: Oct 2015 - June 2016; 75 mg tapered over 2 mths, intense w/d after 3 weeks. Reinstatement: 07/25/16 - 25 mg; updosed 08/03/16 - 50 mg;  10/01/16-  62mg; 03/24/17 dropped to 50 mg (stable in 2.5 months)

                           Current psych meds: Trazodone 50 mg

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  • 2 weeks later...

Congrats❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

 

Rachel - 1998-2012 Prozac 20mg

2012-2014 Prozac 40mg

Sept 17 Remeron 15mg, March ‘18 7.5mg

Jan 31 - Feb 13 1/4 - 1mg Ativan

Jan 31 - feb 5 - 2mg Prozac, 4mg feb 7

feb 10 - 10mg rem, Feb 27 - 7.5mg rem

Feb 27 - March 6th - 5mg Baclofen 

March 12th - Keppra 250mg

March 24 - 30mg phenobarbital 

 

 

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Well done buddy!

May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg

 

March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths.

 

July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific.

 

August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline.

 

March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had.

 

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  • 9 months later...

Update: I ran into Undiagnosed1 on a Lovely Grind comment and asked him if he could write a success story for SA (not knowing he was Undiagnosed1)

 

He said that he is doing well. He said he's completely symptom free minus struggling with short-term memory, and has a beautiful 1.5 year old son. 

 

He said his CNS is mostly stabilized minus extremely stressful situations, in which he just feels a little anxious.

He will return around February on his anniversary to check in with SA! 

 

 

 

3/21/19 started Bupropion XL 150 mg

3/21/19 started Risperidone 2mg

7/7/19 start Abilify half dose 5 mg. discontinue Risperidone

7/9/19 full dose Abilify 10 mg

7/29/19 discontinued Abilify due to panicky side effects

8/2/19 Began Latuda 20 mg

8/5/19 discontinued Latuda due to similar side effects 

8/10/19 discontinued Bupropion after realizing it was causing the insomnia

From 8/10/19 no drugs whatsoever

Currently taking Magnesium 150mgs daily

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Happy for you friend....

We do appreciate our lives more after this WD stuff. 

All the best and enjoyr your family and life as much as you can buddy.

Santino

 

2015 -  2016 Xanax only rescue doses of 0.125 mg 1-2 times per month
 March 2016 0.125Mg * 2 Xanax for 10 days.

20 March 2016 0.25 Mg * 2 Xanax for one week. 1 April 2016 Tranxene 5 mg and Fevarin but bad reaction for 5 days.4 April 2016 25 Mg Amitryptiline + 6 MG bromazepam at night

Started tapering Bromazepam 6 days later reached up to 3 MG in 10 days and withdrawal. Pdoc asked to go 6 MG again.

10 of May started Remeron 15 MG and started tapering Bromazepam again.

SINCE 09/06/2016 BENZO FREE - Started Tapering Remeron 04/07/2016

 

04/Jul/16 12.8 Mg, 11/Aug/16 12 Mg, 20/Aug/16 11Mg, 3/Sept/16 10Mg, 11/Sept/16 9 Mg, 30/Sept/16 8.1 Mg, 14/Oct/16 7.25 Mg, 17/Nov/16 6.7, 23/Nov/16 6.5, 2/Dec/16 6.25, 9/Dec/16 6Mg, 25/Dec/16 5.7Mg, 4/Jan/17 5.4Mg, 20/Jan/17 5.2Mg, 07/Feb/17 5 Mg, 15/Feb/17 4.8Mg, 27/Feb/17 4.5Mg, 15/Mar/17 4.2Mg, 23/Mar/17 4Mg, 1/Apr/17 3.7Mg, 14/Apr/17 3.4Mg, 27/Apr/17 3.1Mg, 06/May/17 2.8Mg, 22/May/17 2.6Mg, 31/May/17 2.3Mg 09/Jun/17 2Mg, 20/Jun/17 1.7Mg, 29/Jun/17 1.4Mg, 11/Jul/17 1.2Mg, 20/Jul/17 1Mg, 31/Jul/17 0.8Mg, 11/Aug/17 0.6Mg, 23/Aug/17 0.5Mg, 05/Sept/17 0.4Mg, 13/Sept/17 0.3Mg. 22/Sept/17 0.2Mg, 03/Oct/17 0.15Mg, 10/Oct/17 0.1Mg, 23/Oct/17 0.05Mg, 22/Nov/17 0.025Mg, 06/DECEMBER/2017 MIRT FREEE.

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On 1/19/2019 at 1:54 AM, Undiagnosed1 said:

 

undiagnosed1-unsure-of-what-to-do-next

 

22 months off Mirtazapine C/T

15 months off Trazodone fast tapper 

14 months off Coreg fast taper 

12 months off gabapintin  fast taper 

 

It is difficult for me to come back to SA, but I swore that if I managed to get past my withdrawal syndrome that I would come back and write my success story.

 

When I was at my worst I read success stories all day everyday, over and over again. I needed hope and this site was the only hope I had. No one understood  how badly I was suffering. Everyone gave up on me....except my wife, she would cry with me and tell me that she knew I was still in there and that one day we would resume our life.

 

At the time I didn't believe I was ever going to get better I was so entrenched in crippling anxiety, crushing depression and guilt. I suffered so badly with a wide range of symptoms for so long that everyday was a battle just to survive.

 

I couldn't work for a year and four months and when I did manage to go back I would say I was only 50% still dealing with cortisol mornings, intense fear and impending doom, driving in traffic was a serious challenge. My wife was 3 months from giving birth when I knew I had to get up and attempt to work, I refused to let this beat me and was determined to be the best father I could be. I cried on the way to work and I cried on the way home daily for sometime, hell many times I took break just to cry.

 

It's difficult to remember when things started getting better  " about 15-16 months after C/T of Mirtazapine " but once things began to significantly improve it was fairly rapid. Cortisol mornings, horrible thoughts upon waking, intense fear, doom, guilt, self harm thoughts etc etc faded one after another within a few months.

 

At that point I was left with terrible short term memory and off and on kaleidoscope vision that scared the crap out of me. The vision issue has faded but the memory issue persist which I don't let bother me much, I just take more notes.

 

Though out my withdrawal I helped take care of my mother in law whom was dying of cancer, we held each other everyday and she told me I had to get better to take care of her daughter and the baby that was coming  because she wasn't going to make it. My mother in law got to enjoy her first grandchild for 5 weeks before passing.

 

After she passed and things were calming down I realized I had made it. I was working a full time job, my emotions were back to normal.. I felt sadness, happiness I could smile,laugh, make jokes etc etc. We had our first child June 8th 2018, this little boy was like a ray of sunshine to me and gave me the drive to continue to build my coping skills and live life the best that I could, I changed professions to reduce stress in my life, I don't rush around like I used to, I don't stress the small stuff anymore, we take mini vacations regularly and above all else My wife and I are best friends, we appreciate each other so much more than before.

 

I am very thankful that the human brain has a way filing trauma away, It's not something I think about all the time now. Every once and a while I'll have a little flash back of the suffering  but it's momentary and it passes, I don't let it drag me down.

 

The symptoms I have listed are only the tip of the iceberg but I won't list them all, lets face it it's not going to do any of us any good to read though that over and over. I want to give thanks to all the admins who do what they do, You all are true " angels " without you all there are so many people who would be lost and at the mercy of their " doctors "  I will try and check in for the next couple of weeks to try and provide any help and or hope that I can.

 

Onward and upwards my friends 👍 

 

 

Hello there thank you for your recovery story 

how long were you on meds for? 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg December 4.5mg Jan 2021 4mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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@Santino Thank you so much for the kind words sir. So glad you are doing well yourself .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 @Longroadhome I was on none of my meds for more than a year, I was on the mirtazapine the shortest amount of time "60 days" but when I CT that medication it unleashed hell like nothing I had ever experienced, Which scared the crap out of me and at that point I just wanted off all of the medications. So throughout the year I dropped each one without a taper and things only got worse and worse which was all my fault for just jumping off of these drugs. Above all else TAPER, CT is a one way ticket to hell. Still to this day I have no idea how I endured the withdrawal and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy  . But here I am healed and coping with normal life as best I can and soon enough you all will too. I don't get on here often as I spent two years on here every single day. But I do help a few people out whom have contacted me through SA. The bottom line is we all need each other here, only we truly understand each others experiences and suffering. So hold on to each other tight and help where you can because to many people on here are alone in this, We absolutely need each other going through this endeavor  . 

december 25th 2016 gabapentin 900mg 1500mg increased january 5th 2017 between may and june decreased from 1500 mg to 700 mg 

december 25th 2016 remeron 15mg 2 week taper stopped febuary 26th withdrawal leveled out in may 

december 27th 2016 coreg 12.5mg x2 a day

december 28th 2016 trazodone 100mg january 6th 75mg january 8th 50mg january 10th 25mg january 15th 37.5mg june 12th 25 mg 

hydroxyzine 25 mg prn 

colozopam .5 only taken .25 in two moths 

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Thank you so much for your reply . You really suffered considering short duration of meds. 

Thank you for your kind words . We are alone. 

Im in acute withdrawal after tapering meds too fast . I am experiencing the hell you went through . But knowing people recover means more than words can say. 

 

I understand about not coming here to post much . The trauma of going through WD and having to reassure ourselves daily by coming on the site like you have and I do to look for “hope”  means that it’s probably the last thing you want to do once recovered . But you have and I speak for many others who feel grateful that you have taken the time to do so. 

 

I wish you well 

LRH 

 

 

October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg December 4.5mg Jan 2021 4mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • 1 month later...

undiagnosed1-unsure-of-what-to-do-next

 

34 months off Mirtazapine C/T

27 months off Trazodone fast tapper 

26 months off Coreg fast taper 

24 months off gabapintin  fast taper 

 

Well here I am, another year in the books.

 

As I look back I struggle to comprehend how difficult this whole withdrawal was.

 

I am a cold turkey survivor, and I tell anyone who is willing to listen the dangers of these drugs.

Most are spellbound and swear they just couldn't cope with life without their drugs even as they complain about how depressed and anxious they are. 

 

As time goes on the trauma of withdrawal starts to fade into the background and we do our best to move forward with our lives.

Freeing myself from the drugs was the most difficult and most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life.

 

I have all of my emotions good and bad, I don't have any ill effects from wd besides a terrible short term memory which doesn't bother me to much.

I have my beautiful wife and rambunctious little boy that keep me on track. I don't know where I would be without her today, as she was my "reason" to continue on everyday.

I feel so proud to be here to see my little boy growing up as just a couple years ago I would have swore that I wasn't going to make it to the next day.

 

But I made it, one horrific day after another I waited on the healing to come and eventually it did, and it will for you too.  

 

I did change careers to reduce stress and looking back is something I should have done years ago.

I make sure to continue my hobbies for recreation and peace of mind. 

I make sure to take time for myself and take a step back from life as needed.

I did start drinking and smoking cannabis to try and cover the trauma of the wd. 

The drinking only led to depression and I have since gotten away from and only indulge once and a while with no ill effects.

I do still partake in cannabis use, only in small amounts before bed. It is not and I repeat is NOT something to try while in withdrawal as it caused massive anxiety.

Other than that I do not take any pills of any kind beside antibiotic's in the case of infection.

Even then I will only take the oldest ones available and have had no ill effects. 

 

I want you all to know and believe in your heart that you will heal. All of the crazy things that are happening to you WILL fade away. 

 

One doctor after another told me I needed these drugs and that what I was experiencing was "me".

Each offered more drugs and nothing more. Finding this site saved my life and for that I am forever grateful.

 

I struggle for words when I come here but I will continue to do so.

 

Because we need to know that people do heal and we do get our life back.

 

We all need to realize how strong we are to endure this and try to be proud of ourselves.

 

I will take today to reflect on how far I have come as well as the few I converse with on a regular basis.

I will get up and get out of the house and try to appreciate all of the small things that I almost missed out on.

I will hold my loved ones a little tighter and celebrate life.

 

I wish you all healing and happiness and if there is anything I can help with feel free to contact me and I will respond as soon as possible.  

december 25th 2016 gabapentin 900mg 1500mg increased january 5th 2017 between may and june decreased from 1500 mg to 700 mg 

december 25th 2016 remeron 15mg 2 week taper stopped febuary 26th withdrawal leveled out in may 

december 27th 2016 coreg 12.5mg x2 a day

december 28th 2016 trazodone 100mg january 6th 75mg january 8th 50mg january 10th 25mg january 15th 37.5mg june 12th 25 mg 

hydroxyzine 25 mg prn 

colozopam .5 only taken .25 in two moths 

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33 minutes ago, Undiagnosed1 said:

I struggle for words when I come here but I will continue to do so.

You may feel like you are struggling for words but everything you wrote was beautiful.  Thank you very much for coming back and encouraging those of us on this most difficult of journeys.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/20: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop)

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I'm so happy to read this story, a true fighter! Proud is the word !

2007-2015  10mg Lexapro ( escitalopram )

2015 november stopped cold turkey

2016 june - 2017 avgust 20mg Lexapro

cause it didn’t work for me anymore, psychiatrist  switched me to paxil

2017 avgust-  2019 february  40mg Paxil

2019 february lowered dose to 35 mg Paxil

2019 march lowered dose to 30 mg Paxil

2019 15.june lowered dose to 20mg Paxil

 

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Hi undiagnosed1,


Your success is an inspiration and I’m so pleased you’re hard work through withdrawal has paid off and your enjoying life once again. 
 

i’ve recently hit the 1 year mark and I’d thought I was seeing some improvement prior to Xmas but I’ve been struggling daily for the last 6 weeks with what has been an awful wave. I’m starting to get frustrated and feel powerless/worried.

 

When you noticed your symptoms improving around the 15-16 month mark had it been a gradual process or was everything volatile (Like protracted withdrawal is) up until that point and the improvement was something that became noticeable via a more settled,  prolonged window?

 

Cheers,

 

Kimbo

OCT 2016 -  I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement  had turned my life upside down ..  as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. 

MAY 2017-  After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit)  I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief.  

FEB 2019 -  Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT.

JUN 2019 -  I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way.

NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING

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Hey @Undiagnosed1 looking back at it, would you have tapered off or still CD’d? I’m 2 months into my withdrawls and I’ve had bouts of crying but as of right now I feel completely numb. I relate to your story because you’re a male but also you have a child. As do I. I’m a young father but I want to give the world to my girl. It’s so hard to stay positive in the midst of this entire process. I really struggled with the idea of reinstating to try a taper but I keep hearing horror stories so I’m leaning towards not doing it. 

Example:

2018 - Started Effexor 37.5 in Janurary of 2018
2019 January, 2nd  - Cold Turkeyed from Effexor for 3 days. Reinstated on the third day, then stabilized(It took 3 months to stabilize)

2019 June - I switched from Effexor instant release to Extended Release 37.5 for better tapering. I tapered to 50% in 4 weeks before reinstating my dosage back to 37.5(due to withdrawls). I waited 2 months to stabilize but never did at 37.5

2019 September - continued to taper in to 25% on extended release

2019 October - continued to taper to half of the beads(18.75mg)... WIthdrawls were so bad I tried switching back to the instant release at the same dosage(18.75mg)

2019 November 28th - Discontinued effexor at 18.75 without anymore tapering.

 

2020 January - Just can't sleep, have constipation, low libido and still lack of full emotion

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4 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

Hey @Undiagnosed1 looking back at it, would you have tapered off or still CD’d? I’m 2 months into my withdrawals and I’ve had bouts of crying but as of right now I feel completely numb. I relate to your story because you’re a male but also you have a child. As do I. I’m a young father but I want to give the world to my girl. It’s so hard to stay positive in the midst of this entire process. I really struggled with the idea of reinstating to try a taper but I keep hearing horror stories so I’m leaning towards not doing it. 

 

Hello @Rozon1 That is a very difficult question, and to that I say this. I have been through some very tough things in my life for example I acquired Stevens Johnson's Syndrome three years prior to my WD. To make a long story short it was terrible and almost took me away from here. I suffered badly but I made it. WD seemed to be 10x worse than SJS.

 

I myself had a bad reaction right from the beginning of starting my meds. So with that being said I felt as if reinstating the drug was not a option for me. IF in fact I was ok on the drugs prior I likely would have given in and reinstated. In my opinion CT is very dangerous and should only be done in a case such as mine. I was very lucky to have my wife and mother in law whom even though they did not understand what was happening to me still supported me. 

 

Everyone's WD and level of suffering is different as well as our ability to tolerate it for long periods of time. 

I cannot advise on drugs, this is a question you have to answer for yourself. 

I can tell you this, stay away from the horror story's. Focus on your healing. 

 

If you need to talk please feel free to reach out either here or you can message me. 

 

Undiagnosed1- Joe

december 25th 2016 gabapentin 900mg 1500mg increased january 5th 2017 between may and june decreased from 1500 mg to 700 mg 

december 25th 2016 remeron 15mg 2 week taper stopped febuary 26th withdrawal leveled out in may 

december 27th 2016 coreg 12.5mg x2 a day

december 28th 2016 trazodone 100mg january 6th 75mg january 8th 50mg january 10th 25mg january 15th 37.5mg june 12th 25 mg 

hydroxyzine 25 mg prn 

colozopam .5 only taken .25 in two moths 

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@Undiagnosed1 I sent you a message

Example:

2018 - Started Effexor 37.5 in Janurary of 2018
2019 January, 2nd  - Cold Turkeyed from Effexor for 3 days. Reinstated on the third day, then stabilized(It took 3 months to stabilize)

2019 June - I switched from Effexor instant release to Extended Release 37.5 for better tapering. I tapered to 50% in 4 weeks before reinstating my dosage back to 37.5(due to withdrawls). I waited 2 months to stabilize but never did at 37.5

2019 September - continued to taper in to 25% on extended release

2019 October - continued to taper to half of the beads(18.75mg)... WIthdrawls were so bad I tried switching back to the instant release at the same dosage(18.75mg)

2019 November 28th - Discontinued effexor at 18.75 without anymore tapering.

 

2020 January - Just can't sleep, have constipation, low libido and still lack of full emotion

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Undiagnosed1 - Fully functional

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