Katie85: Introduction - 3 month withdrawal hell

[Katie85]

Hi Guys,

 

I am so glad i found this forum. I hope it can help me survive this and hopefully i can help other people too.I had been on Antidepressants for 18 years from when i was 15 years old. The Doctors never seemed to know what to do with me so chucked drugs at me to try and deal with the Problem. I was on Citalopram 60mg for 10 years and was then changed to Nortriptyline (150mg) for 8 years. Around 3 months ago i was told that they could not get this Medication anymore. I think this is something to do with Brexit as i live in the UK but i was obviously pretty angry as i was told you should never go cold turkey on these drugs and now they didn't seem to care. I was given an alternative but i have Epilepsy and it caused me to have seizures. I have also always felt that the Meds caused/triggered seizures anyway and by this point i was terrified of taking any drugs so i ended up having to stop Antidepressants altogether. The initial 2 weeks were hell. I literally thought i was dying but i got through it and was amazed at how well i was coping after that. I have been seeing a great Psychologist for 2 years and my life was really starting to turn around finally...... but that is when it hit. A week ago, after 3 months off the drugs i became severely Depressed and Anxious again. I can't get out of bed and do anything and its like i am back to where i was all those years ago and all that Therapy i have had over 18 years has done nothing. I am terrified as i have no idea if this is going to get better or this will be my life forever now. I have been reading these forums trying to get advice but i'm not really sure what to do. Am i ever going to get out of bed and stop feeling like there is really no point in trying anymore? I'm exhausted and miserable.

[Songbird]

Hi Katie, welcome to SA.  It definitely sounds like you've been hit by withdrawal.  I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so miserable.

 

It would be helpful if you could please create a signature containing a summary of your med history, including all drugs, doses and dates (starting and stopping).  Your signature appears below every post you make, and helps us see your situation easily without having to read from the top every time.   You could look at my signature for an example.  Instructions for creating your signature are here: Please put your withdrawal history in your signature.  You can edit your signature here: edit your signature in Account Settings.

 

I also have a few questions for you:  What was the reason you were switched from citalopram to nortriptyline?  Can you remember the name of the alternative med that caused seizures?  What are your symptoms now - you mentioned depression and anxiety - any other symptoms?

[Katie85]

Hi Songbird,

 

Thanks, I will make sure I create a signature. I switched to Nortriptyline because Citalopram wasn’t helping me at all. I just slept all the time. I remember it being a big issue at the time because it’s virtually impossible to find an Antidepressant you can take with Epilepsy. The other Drug the Doctor put me on was Amitriptyline which I have now been informed by my Neurologist should have never been given to me if I had Epilepsy. Yes the only Symptoms I have are very severe Depression and Anxiety. I have Avoidant personality disorder which has also become very severe again. In the first 2 weeks of coming off them I had more physical symtoms such as aches, fever, brain zaps, headaches, sickness Ect but that went after a while and I was fine until recently when I hit 3 months and I seem to have gone back to a state that i haven’t been in for years plus I feel suicidal which I have never experienced so it is very strange. I wondering if there is anything I can do to get through it and how long people normally experience this for?