IWantToHeal: Sertaline Withdrawal After Stopping Cold Turkey

[IWantToHeal]

Hi everyone, I'm here because I am scared about what's happening to me. I was on Sertraline for about 7 months and then I quit cold turkey, I've began to notice symptoms which I am now sure are from anti-depressant withdrawal.
 

I feel fatigued all the time no matter how much sleep I get and I don't feel any desire to things that used to interest me. I feel like I have no interests or passions anymore. I've lost interest in the opposite gender, this even led to me wondering if I was gay for a while. I have OCD so my thoughts can fixate on things like this a lot of the time and this was a problem I experienced before taking the SSRIs. But since reading online information I have realised that my problem is actually that I now have zero sexual desire. I tried to have sex a few times since coming off the anti depressants and I wasn't able to get a proper erection. I also noticed I wasn't enjoying it like I used to. I used to have a strong sex drive and have lustful thoughts about women's bodies a lot of the time. This hardly happens at all anymore. I also notice that my penis cannot feel temperature as well as other parts of my body. If I get my cold hand and put it on my penis I can hardly feel the temperature but then if I touch the top of my leg I instantly feel how cold my hand is.

 

I can't seem to get excited about anything anymore. When events happen where I should feel happy or excited there is just no feeling there. Sometimes I feel an unexplainable need to cry but then the tears won't come. I start to cry but then two seconds later the crying just stops and no tears flow out. It feels like there is a lot of emotion in there that wants to be released and it's an incredibly frustrating feeling to not be able to let it out. It feels like the feeling where you're about to sneeze and then lose the sneeze but a lot more distressing than that.

 

During the time when I was on sertraline I developed another issue which I now believe is called tardive dyskinesia after reading information online. My symptoms with this are lip smacking, mouth movements and sometimes my tongue goes out of my mouth. I seem to be able to limit this when I am around people if I focus on not doing the behaviours and the movements are not that noticeable but some people have noticed that my mouth keeps opening and closing. They think that I'm about to say something but I'm not, it's an involuntary opening and closing of my mouth. I didn't put this down to an effect of the anti depressants until a week ago which was when I found out about PSSD online and then started obsessively googling other symptoms of anti depressant withdrawal.

 

It seems that I am experiencing anhedonia, tardive dyskenesia and some type of sexual dysfunction caused by the anti depressants. The latter two symptoms definitely started when I was still on the drugs but I always thought that these would resolve themselves after I discontinued the medication. However, I'm here 5 months later and the symptoms have not gone away. I don't think there has been any improvement in this regard. I am sorry that is poorly written, I used to be a good writer as well but my communication, both verbal and written has been impaired since discontinuing. I feel like there's something blocking me like with the crying, it's like I try and think of what to say and nothing comes. My communication feels robotic and lacking any authenticity. I don't even know what my personality is anymore. I used to be a joker and always enjoy making other people laugh and had a good sense of humour but now that is gone too. I think my memory has also got a lot worse, I can barely remember things that happened last week and I notice that when I am trying to absorb new information I find this really difficult when before I was able to do this with ease. I find it really difficult to formulate thoughts and sometimes have difficulty with speech too. It's like my voice goes really faint and I can't quite form the words that I want to say. When having conversations with people I struggle to focus on what they're saying or take in any information.

 

With all these symptoms they seem to come and go. More often than not I experience them in full force but I seem to have periods where I feel better and am able to focus for longer periods for example. I am an avid reader and I notice that on some days I can't concentrate at all on the words and keep re-reading the same sentence without understanding a word of it but then on other days my focus is there. Having a degree of concentration seems to be the key thing for me and it even stops my tardive dyskinesia symptoms to a certain extent, although my face muscles still feel tight all of the time.

 

I even have some days where I do take pleasure in some activities. I notice that it's with meditation that I am able to find the greatest relief from my symptoms. I get some windows where I can feel peace, joy and I think even happiness but then it seems to go back into this state of anhedonia more regularly than not. I keep reading stories online about people who have had the sexual issues persist permanently and I am scaring myself to death with them. I keep worrying that this is what is going to happen to me because it's no life to live to have a numb penis and no sex drive. It's not only about the  sex it's also affected my drive and motivation to do anything in life. I used to be an ambitious person and my anxiety seemed to drive me on to do better, but now because of the anti-depressants it's taken most of that drive away. I do have good days and bad days but I really want to heal and be back to my old self. Before I only had anxiety but now I've definitely got anxiety and depression. I know what people mean now when they say they feel "empty" and now I have suicidal thoughts which I never had before taking the medication.

 

I wish I had never gone to the doctors that day and started taking these pills because I am enduring a hell which I would never wish on anybody. Reading the success stories of people who recovered is the only thing that is keeping me going, but at the same time I am absolutely terrified that I will be one of the ones for whom these effects are permanent. I think about suicide on a daily basis and have to really drag myself back into a positive mind frame. I just can't see myself living with these symptoms for over a decade like some poor souls have had to. I want to heal.

 

 

 

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, IWantToHeal.  I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time.  You've come to the right place.  You'll find the members and moderators knowledgeable, helpful and supportive.

 

Two questions to start:

1.  What dosage of Sertraline were you taking?

2.  When did you cold turkey?

 

The symptoms you describe are typical withdrawal symptoms resulting from your cold turkey of Sertraline.  The good news is these symptoms are not permanent and that you will heal.  Unfortunately, it is impossible to predict how long healing will take. The fact that you're having some good days is a very encouraging sign.  

 

If you're in need of a bit of encouragement, I suggest you read the Success Stories forum, which is found about 3/4 down on this site's main page.

 

So that you have a better idea of what you're experiencing, here is some information on withdrawal and healing.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.   

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

At this time, reinstatement of a very small dose of the original drug is the only known way to help alleviate withdrawal syndrome.  The only other alternative is to try and wait out the symptoms and manage as best you can until your central nervous system returns to homeostasis.  Unfortunately no one can give you an exact timeline as to when you will start feeling better and while some do recover relatively easily, for others it can take many months or longer.  

 

Reinstatement isn't a guarantee of diminished symptoms for everyone but it's the best tactic available.  Reinstatement predictably works up to 3 months after last dose, though it's possibly to successfully reinstate after that time.  We usually suggest a much smaller reinstatement dose than your last dose.  Your system has become sensitized and If you take too much it may be too much for your brain and can cause you become more unstable.  Once you've stabilized on that dosage, which can take several months,  you can begin a 10% per month taper down to zero.  

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

 Please read:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms. -- at least the first page of the topic

 

If you're interested in reinstating, please let us know and, after you've answered my questions above, we can suggest a dosage.  Please do not reinstate without letting us suggest a dosage.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can answer my questions, ask your own and connect with other members  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[IWantToHeal]

Thank you very much for your reply. I started taking Sertraline 50 MG in January 2018.

 

I upped my dose to 100MG after around a month.

 

I totally quit cold turkey in August 2019. I'm not sure of the exact dates, my memory is pretty hazy, I'm sure that's another side effect.

[IWantToHeal]

I'm not willing to reinstate because of the damage that the drug has done to me, it's also not possible because I recently moved to China and have no access to a doctor.

 

I moved to China at the end of October, and that's when I started feeling really bad. It's like the withdrawal took a little while to kick in, I actually felt better about 2-3 weeks after stopping but things have just gotten exponentially worse.

[Gridley]

1 hour ago, IWantToHeal said:

 

I moved to China at the end of October, and that's when I started feeling really bad

That's around the 3-month mark from when you quit, which is a very common time frame for delayed withdrawal to kick in.  I know that doesn't make you feel any better but at least you know it's normal.  

 

You will heal.  I wish I could give you a timeline but unfortunately I can't.

 

 

[Rosetta]

Hi, IWant,

 

I answered your tar dive dyskinesia question on my thread and cut and paste part of my answer here.  There’s more general advice for you over on my thread.

 

Not permanent.  My lay opinion is that doctors think it’s permanent because they make prescribing decisions that intensify this problem.  They cold switch drugs, they add drugs in doses that are too high, they CT people or they reduce by more than 10% per month (or at least by more than the person’s nervous system can handle.). Then they see the problem continue or worsen.  Well, of course!!!

 

This problem has been worse for me in the  past.  I used to have pain in my forearm and horrible headaches.  I used to have my tongue pressed up against the roof of my mouth even when I was awake and conscious of the problem.  I have regained more control and now it is only out of control when I sleep.  Not every moment I’m asleep, but a lot.  (This has affected my breathing for many years — 16 years or more.  You have no idea how angry I am that when I was diagnosed with sleep apnea in 2004 no one evaluated the affect Celexa was having on my body!!)

 

My eye is so much better.  No more twitching there.  I’m not sure it’s completely unaffected, but it’s rare that I feel anything unusual in my eye or my temple.  If I read I can feel something.  When I have my period I feel a tingle in the side of my face — sometimes.  I do not have the horrible headaches I used to have.  There is no more numbness!!! My nose and face and even my eye used to feel tingly and numb. (So did my forearm and fingers.) No more.  It slowly got better.   At one point it was only if I read and used my right hand to type that I felt tingles and numbness.  This is true now, too, but it’s better. This tells me that it will eventually go away.

 

Don’t panic if it gets worse before it gets better.  Doctors don’t know anything.  If it gets worse that means nothing.  Mine got worse after I CT.  Do not let that scare you.  You will heal.

 

Again, see more general advice for you on my thread.

 

Yours, Rosetta 

[Rosetta]

Hi, nosey question? Are you Chinese?  If not, have you considered going home?  You don’t have to answer, but I would want to be home if I were you.  My two cents. - Rosetta

[IWantToHeal]

Thanks again for your reply @Rosetta, it did make me feel better.

 

Also, I'm not Chinese, I'm British! I moved out here at the end of October. Some days I do feel like running home so that I can see a doctor but then I think to myself that they can't and won't even do anything to help other than suggest me to go back on the drugs. I don't really have anywhere to go back in England either. I haven't left a wife or kids behind or anything like that that I could return to, I'd be just as alone there as I am here but out here I've got a new career that I've started, whereas back in England I just have mounting debt. I've decided I'm going to stick with it and keep going, I feel very low at times but I am focusing on improving myself and enduring the suffering as best I can, whilst reading books, meditating, exercising and eating as healthily as I can.

[Rosetta]

I see.  Yes, it’s better to have a purpose than to have nothing.  Chances are that a doctor would do exactly as you suspect.  However, if you did reinstate it would be at a tiny dose.  You would ask your doctor to prescribe whatever dose s/he thought correct and then, using a method you can find on SA, you would take only a tiny fraction of your original dose.  A moderator would make a suggestion on the dose. The details don’t matter so much right now as the fact that you should come to understand the reason some people reinstate, what the benefits can be and what the risks are.  In my opinion, it’s not a good idea to dismiss the idea without careful consideration because the window for reinstatement closes, and then you will feel trapped without that option even if your symptoms are unbearable.  

 

I found SA at about the 5 month mark after I quit.  Reinstatement becomes risky at some point.  It gets riskier the longer one waits.  (Actually, I might have been at higher risk for disaster due to chronic inconsistent dosing.  So, maybe it was for the best, but that is, hopefully, not of concern to you.).  My point is that you are probably going to be wondering forevermore whether you should have considered it.  The very, very small dose is so small that, in hindsight, I would not have been worried about it’s affect on my health.  This is because the affect on my health from the CT was so extreme.  

 

In any event, I’m not trying to convince you to reinstate.  I’m trying to convince you to look into it carefully and make a decision with full information before the risk assessment issue closes that avenue.  Some people say that after 4 months people need to think carefully about the risk, but I have seen someone reinstate after 2 years and find it beneficial.  She was on SA.  Granted, I would not have taken THAT risk in a million years.  I’m not an expert on anything here except how to survive a CT.  I’m suggesting you chat with a moderator who is more knowledgeable and then decide.  That’s all.

 

By the way, everything will come back -  all your emotions, cognitive abilities, sex drive, enjoyment of life — all of it.  You will be fine when you heal, and it won’t be 10 years.  Not even close.  Not at all.  As frustrating as it will be while you are healing, it’s all going to come back.  None of it is permanent unless you keep re-injuring yourself.  My first mistake was accepting Xanax from my doctor, my second was CTing Zoloft, my third was accepting Trazodone, and my fourth was CTing Trazodone.  (I quit Xanax, too, of course.)  Each drug wreaked havoc on my nervous system and so did each CT.  

 

Try to avoid more drugs if you can and if not remember this:  your system is so sensitive that a very small dose of any drug, or alcohol, will have the affect of a high dose, and second, a normal dose of either has a strong potential to make your condition worse.  Small doses in all things from here on out.  This goes for magnesium and Omega 3 fish oil, too.  Don’t try anything else for a while.  Don’t try both at the same time either.  Take one for a few weeks and then introduce the other.  No melatonin, no Chinese herbs, etc.  No supplements.  No St. Johns Wort.   I’m quite serious.  The only things that are reasonably safe are magnesium and fish oil (and I was an unlucky one who had a problem with magnesium.)

 

Meditation helps?!  Wonderful!  That’s exactly the right approach!  I’m very happy to hear you can meditate and that you find it useful.  Super.

 

Whatever you do, do not reinstate as a doctor would prescribe.  It’s a tiny, tiny dose to be safe, and a doctor would scoff at the suggestion that that tiny dose would be useful.  Most doctors are dangerously ignorant about ADs.  Brassmonkey is legendary here.  He received his medication from his doctor for years without divulging that he was tapering because he knew his doctor wouldn’t know anything about the cessation of ADs.  You can look him up in the Success Stories.   I would have done something similar if I had reinstated. That said, I think I would make the trip home to see a doctor were I you, and you should make sure that taking your medications into China is allowed, too, if you go that route.

 

I know this is all very overwhelming.  I was completely bowled over when I found this website, and the cog fog was so bad that I couldn’t make heads nor tails of the information here for about 4-5 months.  I couldn’t even decide whether I trusted anyone here.  It was all too shocking and unbelievable.  I was very, very ill and suicidal, too.  I was terrified.  Many of us have been through what you are experiencing.  I’m really sorry this has happened to you, but I’m glad you found SA.

 

Yours, Rosetta

 

 

[Sleepan]

It's a great answer Rosetta.  I hope you don't mink me asking help for myself.  I reinstated at about level (I try various levels - found it easier to split dose between am and evening) after 3 months after cold turkey.  Weeks 2 and 3: 5 nights of sleep with 10mg am and 15mg evening.   Weeks 4 only 1 night of sleep. I would taper 2.5mg evening, because as soon as I go to bed, my head starts to buzz and crazy thought.  I feel my body do not want the dose.  Can I taper a reinstatement before I stabilize most symptoms, such as difficulty to urinate, insomnia, crazy thoughts and anxiety at night, and more?  

[pinciukas]

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

I see.  Yes, it’s better to have a purpose than to have nothing.  Chances are that a doctor would do exactly as you suspect.  However, if you did reinstate it would be at a tiny dose.  You would ask your doctor to prescribe whatever dose s/he thought correct and then, using a method you can find on SA, you would take only a tiny fraction of your original dose.  A moderator would make a suggestion on the dose. The details don’t matter so much right now as the fact that you should come to understand the reason some people reinstate, what the benefits can be and what the risks are.  In my opinion, it’s not a good idea to dismiss the idea without careful consideration because the window for reinstatement closes, and then you will feel trapped without that option even if your symptoms are unbearable.  

 

I found SA at about the 5 month mark after I quit.  Reinstatement becomes risky at some point.  It gets riskier the longer one waits.  (Actually, I might have been at higher risk for disaster due to chronic inconsistent dosing.  So, maybe it was for the best, but that is, hopefully, not of concern to you.).  My point is that you are probably going to be wondering forevermore whether you should have considered it.  The very, very small dose is so small that, in hindsight, I would not have been worried about it’s affect on my health.  This is because the affect on my health from the CT was so extreme.  

 

In any event, I’m not trying to convince you to reinstate.  I’m trying to convince you to look into it carefully and make a decision with full information before the risk assessment issue closes that avenue.  Some people say that after 4 months people need to think carefully about the risk, but I have seen someone reinstate after 2 years and find it beneficial.  She was on SA.  Granted, I would not have taken THAT risk in a million years.  I’m not an expert on anything here except how to survive a CT.  I’m suggesting you chat with a moderator who is more knowledgeable and then decide.  That’s all.

 

By the way, everything will come back -  all your emotions, cognitive abilities, sex drive, enjoyment of life — all of it.  You will be fine when you heal, and it won’t be 10 years.  Not even close.  Not at all.  As frustrating as it will be while you are healing, it’s all going to come back.  None of it is permanent unless you keep re-injuring yourself.  My first mistake was accepting Xanax from my doctor, my second was CTing Zoloft, my third was accepting Trazodone, and my fourth was CTing Trazodone.  (I quit Xanax, too, of course.)  Each drug wreaked havoc on my nervous system and so did each CT.  

 

Try to avoid more drugs if you can and if not remember this:  your system is so sensitive that a very small dose of any drug, or alcohol, will have the affect of a high dose, and second, a normal dose of either has a strong potential to make your condition worse.  Small doses in all things from here on out.  This goes for magnesium and Omega 3 fish oil, too.  Don’t try anything else for a while.  Don’t try both at the same time either.  Take one for a few weeks and then introduce the other.  No melatonin, no Chinese herbs, etc.  No supplements.  No St. Johns Wort.   I’m quite serious.  The only things that are reasonably safe are magnesium and fish oil (and I was an unlucky one who had a problem with magnesium.)

 

Meditation helps?!  Wonderful!  That’s exactly the right approach!  I’m very happy to hear you can meditate and that you find it useful.  Super.

 

Whatever you do, do not reinstate as a doctor would prescribe.  It’s a tiny, tiny dose to be safe, and a doctor would scoff at the suggestion that that tiny dose would be useful.  Most doctors are dangerously ignorant about ADs.  Brassmonkey is legendary here.  He received his medication from his doctor for years without divulging that he was tapering because he knew his doctor wouldn’t know anything about the cessation of ADs.  You can look him up in the Success Stories.   I would have done something similar if I had reinstated. That said, I think I would make the trip home to see a doctor were I you, and you should make sure that taking your medications into China is allowed, too, if you go that route.

 

I know this is all very overwhelming.  I was completely bowled over when I found this website, and the cog fog was so bad that I couldn’t make heads nor tails of the information here for about 4-5 months.  I couldn’t even decide whether I trusted anyone here.  It was all too shocking and unbelievable.  I was very, very ill and suicidal, too.  I was terrified.  Many of us have been through what you are experiencing.  I’m really sorry this has happened to you, but I’m glad you found SA.

 

Yours, Rosetta

 

 

Yes for some people reinstatement working after long time. It worked for me. I did CT years ago and reinstated after 1 year was on Seroxat for a year then did CT again and reinstate after 9 months. Strange for me it worked very well. Maybe i have addiction to Seroxat I don’t know. Reinstatement is tricky it can be good or not.

[Sleepan]

I slept last night.  I'm in my 5th week reinstatement.  I lowered my reinstatement dose of 2.5% i.e. 7.5mg am and 15mg pm instead of 10mg am and 15mg pm.  Next week, I'll lower another 2.5% depending on how the week goes.  Keep it simple and slow.

 

4th week reinstatement was in peril but I found SA forum which is good.  Good helping info and nice people.  Yesterday, I listened to 2 guided meditation videos.  I was not very good at meditating, but I said to myself I would heal and it will be alright and worth it in the end.  It is a long difficult road to heal, but all successes are sweeter because of it.  

[IWantToHeal]

On 1/20/2020 at 7:28 PM, Rosetta said:

I see.  Yes, it’s better to have a purpose than to have nothing.  Chances are that a doctor would do exactly as you suspect.  However, if you did reinstate it would be at a tiny dose.  You would ask your doctor to prescribe whatever dose s/he thought correct and then, using a method you can find on SA, you would take only a tiny fraction of your original dose.  A moderator would make a suggestion on the dose. The details don’t matter so much right now as the fact that you should come to understand the reason some people reinstate, what the benefits can be and what the risks are.  In my opinion, it’s not a good idea to dismiss the idea without careful consideration because the window for reinstatement closes, and then you will feel trapped without that option even if your symptoms are unbearable.  

 

I found SA at about the 5 month mark after I quit.  Reinstatement becomes risky at some point.  It gets riskier the longer one waits.  (Actually, I might have been at higher risk for disaster due to chronic inconsistent dosing.  So, maybe it was for the best, but that is, hopefully, not of concern to you.).  My point is that you are probably going to be wondering forevermore whether you should have considered it.  The very, very small dose is so small that, in hindsight, I would not have been worried about it’s affect on my health.  This is because the affect on my health from the CT was so extreme.  

 

In any event, I’m not trying to convince you to reinstate.  I’m trying to convince you to look into it carefully and make a decision with full information before the risk assessment issue closes that avenue.  Some people say that after 4 months people need to think carefully about the risk, but I have seen someone reinstate after 2 years and find it beneficial.  She was on SA.  Granted, I would not have taken THAT risk in a million years.  I’m not an expert on anything here except how to survive a CT.  I’m suggesting you chat with a moderator who is more knowledgeable and then decide.  That’s all.

 

By the way, everything will come back -  all your emotions, cognitive abilities, sex drive, enjoyment of life — all of it.  You will be fine when you heal, and it won’t be 10 years.  Not even close.  Not at all.  As frustrating as it will be while you are healing, it’s all going to come back.  None of it is permanent unless you keep re-injuring yourself.  My first mistake was accepting Xanax from my doctor, my second was CTing Zoloft, my third was accepting Trazodone, and my fourth was CTing Trazodone.  (I quit Xanax, too, of course.)  Each drug wreaked havoc on my nervous system and so did each CT.  

 

Try to avoid more drugs if you can and if not remember this:  your system is so sensitive that a very small dose of any drug, or alcohol, will have the affect of a high dose, and second, a normal dose of either has a strong potential to make your condition worse.  Small doses in all things from here on out.  This goes for magnesium and Omega 3 fish oil, too.  Don’t try anything else for a while.  Don’t try both at the same time either.  Take one for a few weeks and then introduce the other.  No melatonin, no Chinese herbs, etc.  No supplements.  No St. Johns Wort.   I’m quite serious.  The only things that are reasonably safe are magnesium and fish oil (and I was an unlucky one who had a problem with magnesium.)

 

Meditation helps?!  Wonderful!  That’s exactly the right approach!  I’m very happy to hear you can meditate and that you find it useful.  Super.

 

Whatever you do, do not reinstate as a doctor would prescribe.  It’s a tiny, tiny dose to be safe, and a doctor would scoff at the suggestion that that tiny dose would be useful.  Most doctors are dangerously ignorant about ADs.  Brassmonkey is legendary here.  He received his medication from his doctor for years without divulging that he was tapering because he knew his doctor wouldn’t know anything about the cessation of ADs.  You can look him up in the Success Stories.   I would have done something similar if I had reinstated. That said, I think I would make the trip home to see a doctor were I you, and you should make sure that taking your medications into China is allowed, too, if you go that route.

 

I know this is all very overwhelming.  I was completely bowled over when I found this website, and the cog fog was so bad that I couldn’t make heads nor tails of the information here for about 4-5 months.  I couldn’t even decide whether I trusted anyone here.  It was all too shocking and unbelievable.  I was very, very ill and suicidal, too.  I was terrified.  Many of us have been through what you are experiencing.  I’m really sorry this has happened to you, but I’m glad you found SA.

 

Yours, Rosetta

 

 

 

Quote

 

I am at the 5 month mark now too. I have been tempted at some points to reinstate after reading some of the information on this site. I've decided now I'm going to stick with this and ride it out. I'm lucky that I don't seem to be affected as badly as some people. I can sleep every night, some days I don't feel that fatigued and I even feel kind of happy on some days. The most challenging issues for me are the brain fog, tardive dyskinesia and the sexual dysfunction.

 

The other thing is is that going home isn't an option for me due to lack of funding and my new job. Taking time off is not so easy out here. When it gets to the end of July I will have a month or two off and if I haven't improved by then or if things have got worse I might go back and see a doctor. I had a dream last night where I went to a doctor and he prescribed me Prozac (Fluoxetine), but then the doctor actually listened to my issues and agreed that they might have been caused by anti-depressant withdrawal. (I know this part would only happen in a dream ha ha).

 

I've noticed I can drink a lot less alcohol than I used to be able to before I get drunk, sounds like a sign that as you have said I should cut out the alcohol. I don't take any other drugs thankfully. I think with time I will get completely back to normal. I have been taking some supplements already and sorry for the TMI but now I get morning wood again ha ha. I wasn't having that at all for the past 4 months. I know they're advised against taking these on this forum but I am taking L-Arginine/L-Citrulline, Magnesium, Vitamin B Complex, Tongkat Ali and Raw Maca Root Powder. I understand this flies in the face of the advice that is given here but I have noticed an improvement since taking the supplements including sometimes my brain fog being lifted and having more energy in the day.

 

Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed reply to me Rosetta I really appreciate it. It sounds like you've gone through a really tough time too with cold turkey. I think it's shocking how people aren't warned how bad the side effects can actually be. I think so many people would think twice about taking these drugs if they knew that it can cause you to feel suicidal and detached from your emotions for months and months after the last dose. I'm glad that there's a place like this that understands what people like us are going through because without that it would be a pretty hopeless situation. 

[Rosetta]

You are welcome.  It’s so true that this website is a Godsend.  Knowing what happened and that it would correct itself saved my life.

[IWantToHeal]

@Rosetta did you manage to heal from the dyskinesia?

 

It's really starting to disturb me. I notice I'm licking my lips, lip smacking, eye widening, eyebrow raising. If I touch my eye I can actually feel that it's twitching or spasming. Same with my right side cheek. Most people who's stories I read either recovered from it fairly quickly in under a year or some have even said that their's progressively got worse with time. It's terrifying.

 

It also makes me really self conscious as I'll be starting a new job now. In the past people have noticed another of my symptoms - that my body was leaning to the right. I also have the neck dystonia where my neck feels really tense and I have an urge to twist my head and neck to the right. It's awful that the drugs have caused this. So many people seem to have little to no side effects after stopping. I think that's why we're not taken seriously by the doctors. We're a minority that's all too easy to sweep under the rug and tell that it's "all in our head". I know even friends and family think that it's all in my head even though they politely listen to what I'm saying and try and offer support. That's the problem when you've had a mental health diagnosis. You don't get taken seriously or listened to because people think that your mind is not working properly. All I know is I was fine before I decided to take these drugs and now I have a host of potentially life long issues. I try and stay positive but on days like this I feel really hopeless and curse my luck..

[Guest]

How long have you been in withdrawal? What are your expectations about length? 

[IWantToHeal]

@Ryguy it’s been about 6 months now.

 

Hard to say if I’ve had any improvements as I keep noticing new symptoms now I’m hyper aware of the fact it’s caused by the medication.

 

I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until a few weeks ago. I quit a life long weed addiction around 3 months ago and I put down how I was feeling to that. But now it’s well out of my system and the overwhelming physical symptoms can’t be caused by withdrawal from cannabis.

 

I would like to heal within a year if possible. I know that might be wishful thinking though based on other people’s testimonies.

 

An update on how I’m feeling now - hopeless, suicidal, fatigued, numb in lower arm and hands. I woke up from a nap and had tingling in my hands and pain in the wrist and lower forearms. It’s happened a few times now usually after sleeping. Never used to happen. 
 

I am not feeling the neck dystonia or eye dystonia today. Jaw dystonia is limited. It’s weird how these symptoms come and go and then new symptoms arise.

 

 

[IWantToHeal]

Could these symptoms be something else apart from anti depressant withdrawal?

 

If I do a google search for weakness in the legs and carpal tunnel in the wrists aswell as fatigue and eye twitching it comes up with MS.

 

I am in China at the moment and don't know how to see a doctor which is also not great. I can't get a flight back to the UK at the moment with all the flights being cancelled. Part of me also wants to stay out here because there are reasons why I left in the first place. I have a career to think of now at least. Maybe I can see a doctor once I've got some money from my new job out here. I'd like to see a neurologist and get an MRI scan done.

 

I've definitely got a neurological condition that's for sure, it's whether it's caused by the anti depressant withdrawal or whether it's actually an undiagnosed neurological illness. I was smoking weed everyday for 15 years and taking Zoloft for 8 months so this could have been masking the symptoms.

 

Cognitive issues are there too. I lose my train of thought and find it difficulty to concentrate. Reading seems to exacerbate my facial dystonia. Sometimes I can't take in the words that I am reading. Speech is sometimes affected. I speak slowly and have to really think about what I'm saying and I'm sometimes not understood. I also struggle to understand what other peope are saying sometimes as if the part of my brain that is responsible for speech is somehow damaged.

[Guest]

21 hours ago, IWantToHeal said:

Could these symptoms be something else apart from anti depressant withdrawal?

 

If I do a google search for weakness in the legs and carpal tunnel in the wrists aswell as fatigue and eye twitching it comes up with MS.

 

I am in China at the moment and don't know how to see a doctor which is also not great. I can't get a flight back to the UK at the moment with all the flights being cancelled. Part of me also wants to stay out here because there are reasons why I left in the first place. I have a career to think of now at least. Maybe I can see a doctor once I've got some money from my new job out here. I'd like to see a neurologist and get an MRI scan done.

 

I've definitely got a neurological condition that's for sure, it's whether it's caused by the anti depressant withdrawal or whether it's actually an undiagnosed neurological illness. I was smoking weed everyday for 15 years and taking Zoloft for 8 months so this could have been masking the symptoms.

 

Cognitive issues are there too. I lose my train of thought and find it difficulty to concentrate. Reading seems to exacerbate my facial dystonia. Sometimes I can't take in the words that I am reading. Speech is sometimes affected. I speak slowly and have to really think about what I'm saying and I'm sometimes not understood. I also struggle to understand what other peope are saying sometimes as if the part of my brain that is responsible for speech is somehow damaged.

Listen I’m not a doctor , but listening to you I can definitely say I believe it’s withdrawal. Taking zoloft for even one month can cause serious withdrawals. I took it for a few years I believe maybe a bit longer but I am still in withdrawal seven years later. Not trying to scare you but being realistic is more important than being optimistic because it prepares you. I hope to god it’s over for you ASAP, but we just don’t know. It’s not from weed, you don’t have a mental issue. Lastly, your symptoms might transform over time, my first two years were tolerable than it became intolerable, my advice is monitor your symptoms, see if things get worse, that way you’ll know it will take longer, and stay away from supplements. In terms of diet, fasting helps , diet fads don’t. I have all your symptoms and much more. I truly hope you’re out soon, but keep me updated in the meantime. Be somewhere safe where you don’t have to worry about where your next meal is coming from. Somewhere comfortable 

[IWantToHeal]

Thanks for the reply @Ryguy. 7 years is a massive amount of time to be dealing with this, that must be so difficult for you. Would you say then that your symptoms actually got worse after 2 years?

 

I am 48 hours into a fast right now actually, I have some experience doing it in my pre-SSRI past and have found it helpful for healing. I read your history and see that you cold turkeyed Zoloft same as me. Have you had any improvements in those 7 years?
 

 

 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, IWantToHeal said:

Thanks for the reply @Ryguy. 7 years is a massive amount of time to be dealing with this, that must be so difficult for you. Would you say then that your symptoms actually got worse after 2 years?

 

I am 48 hours into a fast right now actually, I have some experience doing it in my pre-SSRI past and have found it helpful for healing. I read your history and see that you cold turkeyed Zoloft same as me. Have you had any improvements in those 7 years?
 

 

 

Ive had some improvements but in some ways worse, so i dont know, but some things i dont experience at all anymore like hallucinations 

[IWantToHeal]

 

I'm back in England now, I couldn't deal with handling these health issues in a foreign country. Living in China was not the right thing for me right now. Due to the corona virus only emergency appointments with doctors were available and the brain fog/depression made it impossible for me to work. I was working as a teacher which was a new job for me and I couldn't learn any new tasks. I felt like my brain is in a goldfish tank, and still feel like that now for most of the time.

 

I get frustrated because I can't remember things and I can tell that my brain isn't working like it used to. I even sometimes have problems counting my change when buying things in a shop and other problems that I didn't have at all pre-SSRI. I find myself frequently forgetting where I put things and doing things like leaving doors open, or leaving lights on or stuff in the washing machine. I forget words and have difficulty with ordering my speech, I literally feel like I have lost IQ points or that I am brain damaged in some way sometimes.

 

I saw my GP as soon as I got back who ordered some blood tests. I am waiting for the results of these to come back. Two years ago some guys punched me in the head a lot during a fight, I recently convinced myself due to the severity of my cognitive issues that I may have experienced a TBI (traumatic brain injury.) Now I think it is actually the anti depressants though as the brain fog didn't start until I came off the anti depressants, about 2-3 months  after I stopped cold turkey. My anxiety had fixated on TBI as a possible cause but the obsessive thoughts seem to flick from one thing to the other. One day I will concerned with the cognitive issues, the next day it will be the PSSD that is making me depressed. 

 

My neck leaning problem seems to have improved a little bit as have the facial spasms. They seem to come and go. After I noticed that my body was leaning to the left I became quite obsessed with it. I have since visited an osteopath/acupuncturist who couldn't notice the lean, and none of my family members seem to be able to either. I kept looking at myself through my own webcam, which was how I first noticed it, and I can tell that the lean has decreased. I'm pretty happy about this, but I have just touched wood because you can never say for sure that these issues will not return. 😄

 

The worst issue is the PSSD which is probably the most distressing symptom as well. I know how sexual desire is linked to desire in general and I don't want to be this shell of a human who has no desire for anything, no desire for a better job. The desire is linked to motivation so without the sexual desire I feel it's almost impossible to live a normal life and this applies to both men and women. The lack of sexuality is hard enough to accept but when you add in the anhedonia and lack of desire to do anything at all it becomes a real nightmare.

 

Doc has ordered some brain scans after the result of these blood tests so I will find out whether there is any visible brain damage. Won't know whether this was caused by the SSRIs or the TBI. You know things are bad when you actually hope that some visible brain damage comes up on a brain scan just to give some explanation for what is going on.

 

Vent over. 

 

Also @Ryguy hope you're hanging in there bro. 

[Guest]

4 hours ago, IWantToHeal said:

 

I'm back in England now, I couldn't deal with handling these health issues in a foreign country. Living in China was not the right thing for me right now. Due to the corona virus only emergency appointments with doctors were available and the brain fog/depression made it impossible for me to work. I was working as a teacher which was a new job for me and I couldn't learn any new tasks. I felt like my brain is in a goldfish tank, and still feel like that now for most of the time.

 

I get frustrated because I can't remember things and I can tell that my brain isn't working like it used to. I even sometimes have problems counting my change when buying things in a shop and other problems that I didn't have at all pre-SSRI. I find myself frequently forgetting where I put things and doing things like leaving doors open, or leaving lights on or stuff in the washing machine. I forget words and have difficulty with ordering my speech, I literally feel like I have lost IQ points or that I am brain damaged in some way sometimes.

 

I saw my GP as soon as I got back who ordered some blood tests. I am waiting for the results of these to come back. Two years ago some guys punched me in the head a lot during a fight, I recently convinced myself due to the severity of my cognitive issues that I may have experienced a TBI (traumatic brain injury.) Now I think it is actually the anti depressants though as the brain fog didn't start until I came off the anti depressants, about 2-3 months  after I stopped cold turkey. My anxiety had fixated on TBI as a possible cause but the obsessive thoughts seem to flick from one thing to the other. One day I will concerned with the cognitive issues, the next day it will be the PSSD that is making me depressed. 

 

My neck leaning problem seems to have improved a little bit as have the facial spasms. They seem to come and go. After I noticed that my body was leaning to the left I became quite obsessed with it. I have since visited an osteopath/acupuncturist who couldn't notice the lean, and none of my family members seem to be able to either. I kept looking at myself through my own webcam, which was how I first noticed it, and I can tell that the lean has decreased. I'm pretty happy about this, but I have just touched wood because you can never say for sure that these issues will not return. 😄

 

The worst issue is the PSSD which is probably the most distressing symptom as well. I know how sexual desire is linked to desire in general and I don't want to be this shell of a human who has no desire for anything, no desire for a better job. The desire is linked to motivation so without the sexual desire I feel it's almost impossible to live a normal life and this applies to both men and women. The lack of sexuality is hard enough to accept but when you add in the anhedonia and lack of desire to do anything at all it becomes a real nightmare.

 

Doc has ordered some brain scans after the result of these blood tests so I will find out whether there is any visible brain damage. Won't know whether this was caused by the SSRIs or the TBI. You know things are bad when you actually hope that some visible brain damage comes up on a brain scan just to give some explanation for what is going on.

 

Vent over. 

 

Also @Ryguy hope you're hanging in there bro. 

Thanks, hope youre hanging in there too. Pssd will take your ambition to do anything and lead to suicidal ideation and incredible rage. It also really messes with your view of sexuality, my pssd made me think sex was part of the demon realm or something...i dunno its crazy but its just how i felt. For me the most distressing stuff is skin issues since these drugs created scars that may never go away...my pssd is getting better after 7 years and hallucinations are gone completely. Im currently dealing with brain fog, compulsions, nerve pain, skin issues and stomach spasms that feel like knives. But the stomach has gotten better, as has the fog..so its mainly dyskinesia and skin issues. Pssd is like 80 percent better....but that needs to heal 

[Rosetta]

Wanttoheal,

 

I‘m glad you are home.  I hope your brain scans don’t show anything too awful, but you should know that healing from a TBI and healing from PAWS brought on by quitting ADs isn’t all that different.  My husband was reading about TBI one day a a year ago or so, and he said he was shocked at how similar the symptoms were to what I was experiencing.  I don’t think that means our brains have suffered a physical injury from the CT.  Rather, I think that the brain is reacting to the two events in ways that manifest very similarly.  The thoughts, behavior, and physical manifestations are outward signs of a brain struggling to cope with a change in function.  The parasympathetic nervous system relies on the brain functioning normally.  So, everything is off.

 

I had that leaning feeling, too.  On one side of my body my muscles are more contracted than the other.  It is very slowly resolving.

 

Hang in there, Rosetta

[IWantToHeal]

Thanks both.

 

I went to the doctors today and got the "it's all in your head routine". So frustrating.

 

I told him that I don't think it's all in my head at all and he said "That's your opinion, this is my professional opinion". What a jerk.

 

I don't think I'll get much help there. He offered me to go back on the Sertraline which I refused.(Cold turkey 6 months ago.)

 

[Rozon1]

Hey @IWantToHeal How do you feel? Worse or better since the beginning of WD. Does it ever across your mind to reinstate? I ask because I’m thinking about it

[Guest]

6 hours ago, IWantToHeal said:

Thanks both.

 

I went to the doctors today and got the "it's all in your head routine". So frustrating.

 

I told him that I don't think it's all in my head at all and he said "That's your opinion, this is my professional opinion". What a jerk.

 

I don't think I'll get much help there. He offered me to go back on the Sertraline which I refused.(Cold turkey 6 months ago.)

 

Run away from doctors, as far away as you can. Im becoming conspiratorial about the medical establishment these days, im convinced this is part of a large mental health experiment, maybe a central intelligence operation...of course i know i sound crazy and am probably wrong, but it makes more sense to me than the sheer overwhelming ignorance and monstrous stupidity coming from the medical establishment. You want advice? Support? Experiential insight? Stay on this site...its heaven sent. 

[IWantToHeal]

21 hours ago, Rozon1 said:

Hey @IWantToHeal How do you feel? Worse or better since the beginning of WD. Does it ever across your mind to reinstate? I ask because I’m thinking about it

 

 

It's hard to say if I feel better, certain symtpoms have improved and others have appeared. Other symptoms remain the same. Some are so physical in nature that I can't be 100% sure that they are related to WD. For example I've got some arthirits like pain in my hands and wrists. Numbness in the feet and hands, pain in the neck. It all seems too coincedental to not be caused by the Sertraline in some way but it defies belief that supposedly "safe" drugs can do this to someone. In light of that I'm getting blood tests, scans and trying to convince my doctor that my problems are not purely psychological. Some of them are definitely either physical or neurological in nature. By now though I'm wholly convinced that psychiatric drugs CAN cause neurological damage. My doctor doesn't acknowledge at all that WD effects could still be persisting 6 months after withdrawing the medication. 

 

It has crossed my mind to reinstate but I'm not going to do it. I've deciced that it would be  step backwards to do that. I've been off the stuff for 6 months, if I went back on it now it would be like reinstating poison into my system again. I'm going to just take the rough road and eventually I will heal completely. I feel that reinstating would mean my healing is delayed. I'd have to do away with the 6 months of progress / healing I've made. That's my thoughts on it anyway.

 

19 hours ago, Ryguy said:

Run away from doctors, as far away as you can. Im becoming conspiratorial about the medical establishment these days, im convinced this is part of a large mental health experiment, maybe a central intelligence operation...of course i know i sound crazy and am probably wrong, but it makes more sense to me than the sheer overwhelming ignorance and monstrous stupidity coming from the medical establishment. You want advice? Support? Experiential insight? Stay on this site...its heaven sent. 

 

I'm half way with you on this. Personally though I don't think doctor are in on it. They're just woefully uninformed about the drugs that they're prescribing. The pharmaceutical companies on the other hand....

[Rozon1]

Hey @IWantToHeal if you were 3 months out would you of considered reinstating by chance instead of 6 months out. How is your quality of life? Keep me updated!

[IWantToHeal]

On 3/7/2020 at 1:33 AM, Rozon1 said:

Hey @IWantToHeal if you were 3 months out would you of considered reinstating by chance instead of 6 months out. How is your quality of life? Keep me updated!

 

I potentially would yeah just for the chance that if I reinstated and then tapered off properly these horrendous withdrawal symtpoms would go away. I found this website too late, I was already 5 months in.

 

My quality of life is bad, I feel like I've lost something since I started on the Sertraline. Like my brain is somehow not working how it should. Concentration is completely whacked. I didn't even have depression pre-Sertraline. Now I've got a severe suicidal depression.

[IWantToHeal]

Has anyone here had PSSD symptoms such as genital anaesthesia and low libido and completely recovered from it?

There's so little positive information about this online.

 

Reading Rxisk.org or the comments on r/PSSD on Reddit make for extremely depressing reading. People talk about it being irreversible and some have been asexual for 20 years(!?).

 

 

 

[IWantToHeal]

Is there a possibility that reinstating on this drug or a different drug then tapering off could reverse the PSSD?

[christianjw12]

Hey @IWantToHeal, would you mind giving us an udpate of your situation ? How are you doing ?