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Cigale

Oh and @sunnysideup69 - I would be sure to check in with Brassmonkey to make sure your final plan/spreadsheet is correct.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Quick question for the community: Today my pharmacy gave me a different brand of escitalopram and I wonder if that could have an impact. My guess is that the answer will be 'depends on the individual.' 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Gridley
9 minutes ago, Cigale said:

Today my pharmacy gave me a different brand of escitalopram and I wonder if that could have an impact.

It could have quite an impact.  First, is there any way you can get your old brand?  If not, do you have any of your old brand left?  We recommend a gradual crossover when changing brands:

 

3/4 dose old brand, 1/4 dose new brand for 3 to 7 days

1/2 dose old brand, 1/2 dose new brand for 3 to 7 days

1/4 dose old brand, 3/4 dose new brand for 3 to 7 days

all new thereafter

 

 


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Cigale

Oh I am so very thankful you replied so fast @Gridley! I have only one pill left from the old brand. I am now off to another pharmacy to see if I can get this fixed. Fingers crossed, I don't want any new variables for goodness sake. Sheesh!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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sunnysideup69

@Cigale, a massive thank you again. That is so sweet of you to construct and explain.

 

Also, yes, a switch in brand can affect you. my pharmacy tried this and I took the new brand back and they swapped it for original, plus they put a not on the computer that I want a particular brand...I'm sure yours could do the same :) 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Cigale

Thanks @sunnysideup69! In line at the pharmacy now. Fingers crossed!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Gridley

@Cigale

 

Did you have any luck getting your old brand of Escitalopram?


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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sunnysideup69
6 hours ago, Gridley said:

@Cigale

 

Did you have any luck getting your old brand of Escitalopram?

Was wondering the same thing. Hoping you did?


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Cigale

Thank you @Gridley and @sunnysideup69 again for the fast advise. I was able to get my old brand of Escitalopram. 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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sunnysideup69

Great news @Cigale 😊

How are you feeling?


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Cigale

Kinda icky anxious this morning after bad night with intense dreams. Woke with morning dread. But trying to get on with my day, moment by moment.

 

How are you doing? I hope your day is off to a good start. Thank you again for your help!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Today’s Healing Haiku

Please change the channel.

Replace binge watching SA

with a sunny stroll.

 

See inspiration: https://ideas.ted.com/i-wrote-a-haiku-every-day-for-a-week-heres-what-i-learned/

 

PS Holding on to the hopeful sign that I have gained .5K in the last month. 

 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Gridley
6 hours ago, Cigale said:

I was able to get my old brand of Escitalopram. 

That's fantastic, Cigale.  I hope you feel better as the day progresses.


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Cigale

Hello @brassmonkey - This is not urgent at all but I want to find out if you have any advice or tips for me on when to start my taper. I am almost five months in to trying to stabilize on 5mg Lexapro (too high reinstatement dose?) and feel like anxiety and depression are getting worse with longer, deeper waves. Any guidance is welcome. Thank you.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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brassmonkey

Hi Cigale--  It is best to wait until things settle into a pattern of being the same day in and day out. Not necessarily feeling good but rather feeling the same. If there are strong windows and waves then things are still to unstable to start to taper.  It does take a long time to happen, five months frequently is  not long enough. Keep working with the self soothing techniques and give it some more time. Stability will happen and then you can start to taper.


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Cigale

Thank you @brassmonkey for taking the time to reply. I need to just settle in to this and listen to you and Gridley and SunnsideUp69. Patience grasshopper!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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ChessieCat

REMINDER TO SELF:

I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Cigale

Thank you @ChessieCat for the reminder. No shortcuts on the way to WDnormal. I also looked at your website and want to thank you for all the resources you included there - especially the reading list. Is there any one book you recommend? 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Update for the record: Still in a really rough wave - more depression and crying and intense fear. More cognitive difficulties than ever and fear of interacting with family and friends. I am even having trouble sustaining a conversation with my husband. I thought I was a strong person, but this is really testing me. 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Erell

Hello Cigale,

 

When anxiety and depression are too high, it can be really hard to interact.

 

I do think you're a strong person : those neuroemotions don't define you, and you are going through a very difficult journey.

 

Hang in there dear, Windows are coming :)

 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Cigale

Thank you @Erell for your support. Trying to remain hopeful. I hope you are doing better. Take care.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Note to self, something @composter shared:

 

In case you're wondering, here's how I made my determination that I was stable and could start my taper:

 

1) Symptoms were at a minimum for at least a month. I no longer obsessed about every symptom or felt the need to make a note in my Glenmullen chart. My WDnormal is about 95% of my healthy, non-drug normal tbh.

2) I had passed the 6 month mark of reinstatement. It was more like 8 months for me. 

3) About 3 months had passed since my last rough wave. Waves last 1-2 weeks for me.

4) I was in a stable and supportive place life-wise and had taken steps to support my neuro health with therapy, supplements addressing deficiencies, long walks, and good talks with family. 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Ugh, I am really, really down. Just back from a check-up with my doctor that didn't go well. I have lost more weight in last three months and she wants me to increase my Lexapro dose (5mg) or switch to Effexor XR. She also said I might need to find a new doctor if I am not willing to follow her advice. I left telling her I would consider my options. I am in a pretty deep wave right now and not thinking as well as usual, which makes this so much more difficult. I did meditate and am going for a walk.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Gridley
20 minutes ago, Cigale said:

she wants me to increase my Lexapro dose (5mg) or switch to Effexor XR. She also said I might need to find a new doctor if I am not willing to follow her advice. I left telling her I would consider my options

I can't tell you what to do, but I can give you some information that might help you.  Lexapro is the strongest SSRI on the market.  As the SA link, "Tips for tapering off Lexapro" says:

---

"However, many doctors are unaware that escitalopram is stronger than other SSRIs and dose it as though it were the same strength. Although the so-called usual starting dose of escitalopram, 10mg, is equivalent to 20mg-30mg or more of, for example, paroxetine (Paxil), your doctor may have moved you to an even higher dose. If you are taking 20mg of escitalopram, you are taking a hefty dose of an SSRI.

If you are taking 5mg, it's not tiny, it's equivalent to 10-20mg Paxil or Celexa."

---

Regarding Effexor, it's one of the more difficult antidepressants to taper off.

 

I'm sorry you're in this situation.
 


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Cigale

Thank you @Gridley for your fast reply. I have absolutely no intention at all of increasing my Lexapro dose from 5mg. I made that mistake in July 2019 when I took the advice of my US doctor to increase to 10mg from 5mg. Over the following five months I became more and more depressed; then in December I basically CT'ed off, and 50 days later landed in hell. I also am terrified of switching and adding to the mess. She also suggested adding something to treat the anxiety but I said no to that also. In some ways I don't blame her for not wanting to treat me since I really am not taking any of her advice. 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

I do feel stuck since I didn't get any relief from my anxiety the whole time (9 months) I took Lexapro in 2019; in fact, my symptoms worsened. And now I am back on it and trying to stabilize (5 months so far). Lexapro worked fine for me from 2008-2016 - I didn't even really notice any side effects and dropped off at 2.5mg without any withdrawals (that I was aware of). So maybe coming back to Lexapro in 2019 was my first mistake. Is this kindling? And is it possible to stabilize from this? I have read the information on reinstatement and think my journey is going to be long. I have to learn how to pace myself for this ultramarathon.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Gridley
2 minutes ago, Cigale said:

Is this kindling? And is it possible to stabilize from this

I wouldn't think it's kindling after only one reinstatement.  More likely it is withdrawal from your fast taper in 2019, possibly with some effects from your adverse reaction to Paxil in 2020.  It can take several months to stabilize on a reinstatement, especially when you factor in the WD.   You're only 5 months in.  I believe you will be able to stabilize at 5mg.


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Cigale
1 minute ago, Gridley said:

I believe you will be able to stabilize at 5mg.

 

You give me hope over and over and over again. I will try harder to accept, acknowledge, float. And I will start looking for a new doctor.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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ChessieCat

 

On 7/14/2020 at 7:54 PM, Cigale said:

Thank you @Figgy - I plan to use the Brassmonkey slide - 2.5%/week for 4 weeks with 2 week hold. What is the GAB taper? Thank you!

 

1 hour ago, Figgy said:

The GAB taper is an excel simple spreadsheet that calculates your dosage drops for whatever percentage and frequency you want to follow. It is very helpful.   It also has a page for microdosing when you get to below 1 mg assuming you have switched to liquid lexapro.  I can't figure out how to attach it on this website.  Brassmonkey can provide it for you.

 

I think it will be in the first post of this topic:  how-to-calculate-dosages-and-dilutions-spreadsheets-and-calculators


REMINDER TO SELF:

I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Erell
18 hours ago, Gridley said:

 I believe you will be able to stabilize at 5mg.

I believe it too.

 

Your story reminds me Sassenach's story : he doesn't come here anymore, but maybe his thread will give you some hope and comfort. After holding 5mg for months, he was happy to tell how normal he was finally feeling ! :)

Every journey is individual, but with time we do stabilise :) 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/20061-sassenach-is-the-updose-working/?tab=comments#comment-414983

  

 

Take care, brighter days are coming ! ☀️

 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Cigale

Merci @Erell! I embrace your support and faith in me. This has been a looong, hard wave, and feels like I have gone quite a bit backwards. But I just rewatched the waves and windows video to see that there really is no day-to-day pattern, just a very, general slight improvement over time. I am trying not to let myself be overwhelmed by second fear, and am working on using my coping skills too. I am healing, I believe and have hope. For myself and every single person who is struggling.

 

And thank you for sharing Sassenach's story. I had come across some of his posts and read part of his story just because he seems so kind, funny, and cheeky. I wondered how he was doing in his taper. I hope he is doing well.

 

How are you doing my friend? I hope your bridge is working bit by bit every day. I think I will hope over to your string and give you a hug there.

 

Bisous! Cigale


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Quick update: I am still in this difficult wave but determined to help myself find relief in my actions. I have noticed that my anxiety is high upon waking, comes down a bit with breakfast, and then goes up and stays up until post dinner. Here's the recent timeline:

 

Friday, July 17

8 pm - Made homemade pizza for dinner and managed to eat a couple of pieces, had apricots for dessert.

1030 pm - About 45 minutes of easy yoga and stretching with deep breathing

1130 pm - Stepped outside to take in the stars, give my soul some positive energy. Tried to see the Comet NEOWISE, but think I was too late.

midnight - To bed and to sleep relatively easily.

 

Saturday, July 18

3 am - Jolted awake from nightmare, got back to sleep quickly.

615 am - Wake with dread, intense anxiety 9. Did 40-minute body scan meditation.

730 am - Went for 30 minute walk and got pastries in village

830 am - Breakfast - fried egg, croissant, melon slice and apricot juice. Tried reading the local papers. Anxiety 6.

930 am - To village for groceries, wearing mask all the time now (mandatory in France starting Monday). Anxiety 7.

1030 am - Unpack groceries, anxiety 8. Did 10 minute sitting meditation.

1130 am - 1 pm - Trying to catch up on email to friends, and trying to remain positive. Check in on SA crew and post this update.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale
3 hours ago, Cigale said:

Saturday, July 18

3 am - Jolted awake from nightmare, got back to sleep quickly.

615 am - Wake with dread, intense anxiety 9. Did 40-minute body scan meditation.

730 am - Went for 30 minute walk and got pastries in village

830 am - Breakfast - fried egg, croissant, melon slice and apricot juice. Tried reading the local papers. Anxiety 6.

930 am - To village for groceries, wearing mask all the time now (mandatory in France starting Monday). Anxiety 7.

1030 am - Unpack groceries, anxiety 8. Did 10 minute sitting meditation.

1130 am - 1 pm - Trying to catch up on email to friends, and trying to remain positive. Check in on SA crew and post this update.

 

Oops! Forgot most important event.

8:45 am Take 5mg Lexparo 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Continuing to try and post more updates. Just feeling so discouraged and exhausted. OK - stop - look for positive. I won at backgammon last night!

 

Saturday, July 18

1:30 pm - Tried to nap but every time I start to relax, my brain jolts me awake with cortisol. Anxiety 8.

230 pm - Give up napping, read news and check email.

530 pm - Walk dogs, anxiety down to 5.

8 pm - Tried to eat dinner, managed a couple pieces of chicken and vegetables. Anxiety 7.

930 pm - Beat husband at backgammon at last. Anxiety 5

1030 pm - Gentle yoga stretching. Anxiety 5.

1130 pm - To bed and asleep pretty quickly.

 

Sunday, July 19

4 am - Jolted awake, cortisol and anxiety surge, difficulty getting back to sleep.

630 am - Awake with dread, did 40 minute body scan to try and calm my mind.

730 am - Start breakfast, anxiety 7, difficultly eating.

830 am - Take lexapro 5mg.

930 am - Go for walk but struggled with anxiety 7/depression. Started crying and shortened planned walk to come home and meditate.

1230 pm - Tried to eat lunch and managed one slice of pizza with chicken.

130 pm - Check email and read newspapers.

230 pm - Tried to nap but anxiety very high, rapid heart beat, hot flashes, nausea. Anxiety 9.

330 pm - Reading and catching up online, SA.


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Feel this wave is deepening, looking for something to help me float or surf.

 

Sunday, July 19

7 pm - Tried meditating, listening to Eckhart Tolle. Need to have dinner but can’t think of anything to eat.

9 pm - Ate some salad and cheese.

10 pm - Feel like burning up inside from anxiety and fear. Try reading Tolle’s Power of Now.

1130 pm - To bed with yoga nidra meditation but can’t focus to follow.

4 am - Awake with terror, try meditating. 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Cigale

Sunday, July 19

5-7 am - Listened to two meditations - Tolle and yoga nidra

8 am - Fed dogs and started breakfast, melon, croissant and apricot juice.

830 am - Take lexapro 5 mg, anxiety 6

9 am - Trying to read local newspapers - mandatory masks in France with 135 Euro fine - and study French. Today I am working on distracting and changing the channel. 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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