Artistic: coming off Paroxetine and benzodiazepine

[Artistic]

I would like too greet you all in first place and wish you all best in your life. I'm 26 years old male. I don't want to talk about personal struggles and situations, just about solutions and going forward. I was on 20 Mg paroxetine and 3mg bromazepam. I'm not from USA or western Europe, but I think that is 20 Mg Paxil and 3 Mg Lexotan or Lexotanil for around 6 years. Few times I tried to quit but I didn't know about withdrawal and I used to come back on same medication. I never went up in dose, just maintaining. Before 5 months I decided to go off Paxil. I have been sick, flu like symptoms,tears, fatigue, insomnia, vivid dreams etc. Survived worst part I think, and felt good like never before after suffering a lot. Still have a stomach problems, and alot of symptoms but I'm glad I did stop it. And I don't want to go back on it. Tried to do same with Lexotan, but then my symptoms go very bad. I don't take it daily, only sometimes when I can't stand symptoms like unable to concentrate and bad and random thoughts coming to my head so I can't function properly. In first place why I started taking these two medication is hiatal hernia, part of my stomach coming through diaphragm giving very bad anxiety and symptoms. I can stand withdrawal if I take Lexotan sometimes. I need your advice on what to do. I don't have time to heal at home, I need to go work and life is waiting. I repeat I don't want to go back on ssri, but to function "normal" I need occasionally this benzodiazepine called Lexotan. I don't take 3 Mg, rather 1.5 mg, occasionally. I tried without it also, and I could fight it but at home In nice environment. I appreciate any advices, maybe somebody went through something similar. Now I know I should first stop benzodiazepine, then ssri, but I'm glad I got off Paxil. 

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, Artistic.  Congratulations on getting off the Paxil.  That's a real accomplishment.

 

I'd advise you to be careful with the Lexotan.  You can become physically  dependent on a benzo after 2 to 4 weeks of regular use and also with intermittent use.  Once you become dependent, you no longer get the original benefit of the drug and are taking it only to avoid withdrawal.  So I would be cautious with how often you take the Lexotan.  

 

We recommend going off SSRI's first, then benzos, so you did it in the right order.

 

Regarding your withdrawal symptoms from the Paxil, the ones you list are typical. You will heal but unfortunately there is no way to predict how long it will take.  We recommend avoiding alcohol, caffeine and sugar.  In withdrawal strenuous exercise is often overstimulating, so we recommend more gentle exercise like walking in nature.  How is your sleep?

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

These explain the healing process really well:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

[Artistic]

Hello again. Now I have some issues which are really hard to deal with. I feel like my mind is empty, it's very hard for me to talk with anyone and to focus on anything. I don't have interest in any activity. Insomnia is killing me. Waking up after 2 or 3 hours of sleep at night. Other problem is that I can't stop reading this site. I spend almost all day reading expiriences and stories like obsessed and I'm very scared. Don't know what to do. Even started looking up on internet how to get social help because I feel that I can't work and that I'm disabled for good. Please any advice or words would come good. I feel like I lost my mind. 

[Gridley]

5 hours ago, Artistic said:

I feel like my mind is empty, it's very hard for me to talk with anyone and to focus on anything. I don't have interest in any activity. Insomnia is killing me. Waking up after 2 or 3 hours of sleep at

I'm afraid these are very typical withdrawal symptoms.  They will fade with time.  You are not permanently disabled and you haven't lost your mind. Your mind is slowly healing and recovering.

 

Regarding the insomnia, here are some links than can help.

 

Tips to help sleep - so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Relaxation exercises, guided meditations, calming videos, sleep hypnosis

 

Tricks and tips to fall asleep faster

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2017/02/16/tips-tricks-fall-asleep-faster.aspx?utm_source=dnl&utm_medium=email&utm_content=art1&utm_campaign=20170216Z1&et_cid=DM133787&et_rid=1889748952

 

This link contains helpful information, including insomnia and also non-drug coping skills.  

 

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

 

Some members have found Melatonin helpful with insomnia.   

 

Melatonin for sleep   

 

It's best to start at a very low dosage, such as .25mg, and gradually increase if needed to the lowest effective dose.

 

Have you tried the magnesium and omegas I suggested in my last post?

 

5 hours ago, Artistic said:

Other problem is that I can't stop reading this site.

 

I suggest you limit yourself to the Success Stories section, which offer a great deal of encouragement. 

 

Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal

 

I'm sorry you're going through this.  I know it is very difficult.  But things will slowly get better and better.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Artistic]

Thank you very much Gridley! One more question because I see you have a lot of experience. I can't leave this benzodiazepine which I take, specially not now. I noticed now you take lorazepam. My dose of bromazepam is equivalent to 0.5 mg lorazepam. I'm planning to take it for longer time from now, maybe even couple more years because I'm not ready for that withdrawal. What's your opinion on that? Any advice? Do you function normally through days? Thank you once more. I'm taking magnesium and omega, lower doses. Vitamin D also. 

[Gridley]

17 minutes ago, Artistic said:

What's your opinion on that? Any advice? Do you function normally through days?

That has to be your decision.  If you're not ready to taper at this point, then you're not ready.  I've been on Lorazepam, on and off, for about 23 years.  It doesn't really do anything for me at this point except keeps withdrawal away.  In a few months, when I'm through with my Lexapro taper, I'll be starting my taper of Lorazepam.

 

I function pretty normally.  I don't have a lot of stamina or energy but I'm functioning

[Artistic]

Little update from me. I'm now around 7 months Paxil free. In the meantime, I tried switching my benzo from bromazepam to diazepam to take benefit from longer half life, but depression and awful heavy feeling I had on it was to much to stand and it made me real zombie. And I'm again on bromazepam, better to stick with the devil I know. As for Paxil withdrawal, hmm. I obviously have waves and windows, from despair to feeling normal. I get head pressure in social situations and when doing tasks, blank mind, doom and gloom and many other symptoms. I have to "fake" being normal many days. Depression was huge, especially when I switched benzo, and that was big big burden to take. I feel it lifting little in the last month, but I will say mornings are worst. Very hard to get up and go to job. But once I'm up it gets easier, and usually by night I will get some relief. I noticed some patterns by now, if I over do it and push myself to hard, I will pay with horrible fatigue which I can feel in body and mind. I have physical symptoms also. Little hair loss, some strange acne, and dry skin. Body temperature regulation feels off, sometimes shivering, feeling cold, random pain in joints, shoulder and hip on the right side. Stomach feels way off, like not working correctly. Food is having a big impact on my well being and I will need to watch out more what I eat definitely. Sometimes I feel much better when I dont eat as for mind clarity. I started tapering benzo, and it's not going bad. I split my dose in two, and I think I'm more stable. Until month ago I was tempted to go back on SSRI escitalopram that's Lexapro in US I think, as my psychiatrist suggested. That thought about stopping suffering was very very temptating but I didn't. I can't go trough all of this again, and I think my health started deteriorating on Paxil, so no thank you.Psychiatrist told me Lexapro is much more "gentle" and easy" lol. I will write again if something change. Take care all of you out there fighting. 

[Mike8989]

Does the constant nausea ( feeling sick) and anxiety go away in time?? I'm 3 months in and still have the symptoms- as soon as i wake up i feel sick............. 90 days and counting now

 

 

18 hours ago, Artistic said:

Little update from me. I'm now around 7 months Paxil free. In the meantime, I tried switching my benzo from bromazepam to diazepam to take benefit from longer half life, but depression and awful heavy feeling I had on it was to much to stand and it made me real zombie. And I'm again on bromazepam, better to stick with the devil I know. As for Paxil withdrawal, hmm. I obviously have waves and windows, from despair to feeling normal. I get head pressure in social situations and when doing tasks, blank mind, doom and gloom and many other symptoms. I have to "fake" being normal many days. Depression was huge, especially when I switched benzo, and that was big big burden to take. I feel it lifting little in the last month, but I will say mornings are worst. Very hard to get up and go to job. But once I'm up it gets easier, and usually by night I will get some relief. I noticed some patterns by now, if I over do it and push myself to hard, I will pay with horrible fatigue which I can feel in body and mind. I have physical symptoms also. Little hair loss, some strange acne, and dry skin. Body temperature regulation feels off, sometimes shivering, feeling cold, random pain in joints, shoulder and hip on the right side. Stomach feels way off, like not working correctly. Food is having a big impact on my well being and I will need to watch out more what I eat definitely. Sometimes I feel much better when I dont eat as for mind clarity. I started tapering benzo, and it's not going bad. I split my dose in two, and I think I'm more stable. Until month ago I was tempted to go back on SSRI escitalopram that's Lexapro in US I think, as my psychiatrist suggested. That thought about stopping suffering was very very temptating but I didn't. I can't go trough all of this again, and I think my health started deteriorating on Paxil, so no thank you.Psychiatrist told me Lexapro is much more "gentle" and easy" lol. I will write again if something change. Take care all of you out there fighting. 

 

[Artistic]

6 hours ago, Mike8989 said:

Does the constant nausea ( feeling sick) and anxiety go away in time?? I'm 3 months in and still have the symptoms- as soon as i wake up i feel sick............. 90 days and counting now

 

 

 

I feel sick almost every day, and I am learning to live with anxiety. It gets easier with time. I still go to work and try to maintain at least minimal social life. I had it really bad in beginning and big fear and 70 + more symptoms. Constant nausea and anxiety is not fun, but look at it from different angle. It could be much much worse. I'm hundred percent sure your nausea will go away. Do you still take meds? I didn't quite understand your signature. Take care. 

[Artistic]

When I look at the start of this process and now, it's like night and day. I definitely feel recovery and it's going upwards. Acceptance is the biggest thing that helped me. I obsessed too much with process and how I feel, reading too much about withdrawal and timeline of it. I accepted some discomfort, I even learned to live with day long headaches and lots of other symptoms, I don't care anymore. I'm recovering. 

[Gridley]

13 minutes ago, Artistic said:

Acceptance

That's great that you're recovering.

 

To me, acceptance is an essential key to handling withdrawal and, for that matter, life.

 

 

[Artistic]

It's getting better and better. Whoever is reading this, it's worth of it. Can't wait to see how will it be when I reach more time free from paroxetine. Nasty, very nasty withdrawal. It's still in progress but it's getting easier. I just shifted my focus from symptoms to things that help my recovery. There is plenty of things on this site which are useful, crew did amazing job. Do things for your recovery. I'm very grateful because I persevered. I can't wait to post my success story. Thanks for all information and to you @Gridley. You are the one who welcomed me here and only one who responded. I wish you all best in your life. 

[Gridley]

48 minutes ago, Artistic said:

It's getting better and better.

I'm very happy to hear that, Artistic.  I can tell from your post that you're doing better and better.  Just take it slow and when you're ready you can taper the Bromazepam--but only when you're ready.

 

You're doing great.

[Artistic]

I just wanted to post an update. I'm back on SSRI. I started Zoloft before one week, and I can't believe how much I suffered all that time. I consulted with my psychiatrist, and I was so scared starting it again, but now I see it was good desicion. Even in this period of time when I was feeling better, it was not life. I feel now like I got new pair of eyes, and my mind is sharp as always. Now I come home from work and do things around the house,go for walk, go out with friends. I forgot how is like to have energy and do more then just go for work and come back home and not being able to even speak with my mother. I didn't visit my sister for 8 months. I will wean of slowly when I'm in better place in my life. I stopped meds shortly after my father passed away from cancer after a long struggle. I just couldn't get out from the pit. 

 

@Altostrata

Maybe this information will be useful as I have seen on this site a lot of information about reinstatement not working and many other stuff against it or taking low as 1mg. I started zoloft on 25 mg, and I'm doing great. So I reinstated different SSRI after around 9 months or so since I stopped Paxil. Do you have any idea or explanation? I didn't get worse, it's a big relief. Slight nausea first few days and dry mouth, but less start up symptoms then when I started Paxil back then. It was pretty bad and scary as I can remember with Paxil.