Crochet: Lexapro withdrawal - 5mg CT

[Crochet]

Symptom Diary:

 

3/3/2021 - 

1:00am - 9:00am - in bed, mostly slept, sleep jerks

9:15am - Lexapro 7.5

10:30am - breakfast, crying, sipping magnesium citrate throughout the day

11-1pm - Laid down and maybe slept.  Felt flu like symptoms.

1:15pm - Propranolol 5 and lunch

2:15pm - work on computer, fish oil 2560; DP/DR

3:30pm - breakdown, cried alot, worried about losing everything

4:30pm - feeling calmer, chest pain/tightness is less, clear thinking, went for walk

5:30pm - Chest feels better, muscles sore, head stuffy, but thinking clearly

6pm - Dinner and research on computer

6:30pm - Talk to dad and come up with plan, feel almost normal

7pm - dark thoughts, anxiety surge

9pm - itchy arm after eating a fig newton type snack, anxious thoughts coming - "I've ruined everything and will never be part of the world again."  Then this eases.

10pm - Don't want to go to sleep because I feel okay and don't want to lose this feeling; back muscles hurt

11:30pm - Chemical feeling in chest, getting ready for bed, feeling of dread

12pm - Hydroxyzine 50

 

3/4/2021

6-8 hours of sleep, some sleep jerks, strange thoughts

10am - wake up and take Lexapro 7.5

11am - Checked email; talked to mortgage lender, anxiety increases and feel heat in my head and heart

11:30am - eating breakfast

12:15pm - chemical anxiety in chest, chest pain, crying

1pm - Propranolol 5 and fish oil

2pm - anxiety is increasing, decide to head to the park for a walk.  Accidentally drive by park and then get turned around.  Also, I go to the wrong car when I leave and try to open the door - scare the driver that is sitting in the car that isn't mine.

3pm - Crying and screaming on the way home, total meltdown that I haven't let myself have yet.  Feels like I've lost my life.  DP/DR

4:30pm - filled out loan paperwork, stress rises, head feels hot

5:30pm - dread, starving, craving sugar, make dinner

6pm - head feels tingly, chest pain

7:30pm - crying spell, base of spine is tingly

8:00pm - start singing as I do the dishes, thinking feels more clear, forgot about magnesium and am sipping on it now

9pm - Talk on phone, work on computer, so tired

9:30 - get ready for bed, and will read in bed until ready to sleep (from a regular book).  Muscles twitches when lying down.  Will take 50mg hydroxyzine.

 

[Crochet]

3/5/21

Got some sleep but didn't write down how much

9am - wake up and lay in bed; take Lexapro 7.5, then back to bed

10am - talked to friend on phone, cried, feel very depressed, talked to dad on phone, hopeless

11am - eat breakfast, look at internet.  Chest pain not that bad, sore muscles in back, tingling lower spine and head feels weird

12pm - smoothing, talk on the phone

1pm - can't even remember the things I used to enjoy, angry

1:30pm - Propranolol 2.5 

2pm - Shower, felt nice.  Head feels weird.

2:30pm - so depressed, just want to sleep and make it all go away

3pm - nap, flu-like symptoms.  Slept maybe 30 minutes.  First time sleeping on my own in over a month.  Legs quaked me awake.

4:30pm - panic in chest.  Drive to new home site.

5pm - get McDonalds and feel overwhelmed.

6pm - Drive home, cry, panic, head buzzing, heat in the center of head that gets activated with stress

9pm - internet, had been sipping magnesium throughout the day

11pm - Hydroxyzine 50mg, bedtime, but no substantial sleep until after 4

[Crochet]

@manymoretodaysHello, if I can please ask for a review of my symptoms.  I put three days worth of notes up.  I tried the propranolol and am weaning off as it doesn't seem to have an impact.

[Altostrata]

Hello, Crochet. When you say "flu-like symptoms", what do you mean?

 

How has your symptom pattern changed since mid-February?

 

It sounds like you have money worries. This can be very hard. You might use some non-drug techniques for anxiety, see

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

[Crochet]

Hi Alto,

 

Thank you so much for reviewing and thanks for providing the links.  

 

Flu-like symptoms - body aches, wiped out, hot/cold, need to lay down

 

Symptom changes since mid-February:

Improvement:

I've gotten more sleep

Less feelings of being detached/unreal

Able to feel positive emotions more often

Moments of clear thinking

 

New symptoms:

Head buzzing started

Cognitive struggles started/poor concentration

Flu-like aches

Vision starting to get blurry

Prickly skin

 

Take care,

Crochet

 

 

[Altostrata]

25 minutes ago, Crochet said:

Symptom changes since mid-February:

Improvement:

I've gotten more sleep

Less feelings of being detached/unreal

Able to feel positive emotions more often

Moments of clear thinking

 

This is a good sign. Improvement will be very gradual.

 

Often, people need to take 6 capsules of fish oil or more each day (2 capsules at each meal), to get 3,000mg-4,000mg EPA + DHA.

 

Have you tried magnesium? 

 

[Crochet]

Thank you for the encouragement.  I haven't been taking that much fish oil so I will start to ramp up.  I have been sipping on Magnesium Citrate throughout the day - am slowly increasing the amount.

[Yesyes123]

Hey @Crochet thinking of you. Can hardly wait until we are both drug free and all this is nothing but a bad memory.

[Crochet]

@Yesyes123I can't wait for this either.  There is so much good that we still need to do in this world.

[manymoretodays]

How's today going Crochet?

Is the Real Estate stuff your work?

Are you still planning another move?

 

Sedona is lovely.  Go to some of those energy vortexes.....or maybe not, right now.......all things considered.

 

I'm glad Alto caught your posts. 

And yes, work the magnesium especially.   Just one adjustment at a time though.

 

Any benefit from the Hydroxyzine?

Any benefit from the Propranolol?  Your using that for WD?

 

Sunday peace sweetie.  Keep us updated.

Neuroemotions, Windows and Waves.  And fingers crossed for a Window for you very soon.

[Crochet]

Hi mmt,

 

Thanks for checking in!  Today is window-y.

 

I'm in the process of buying a home, if you can believe it.  The closing date is April 1 and I've asked my family to come out and help me to figure things out.  My mind isn't working great right now.

 

 

Any benefit from the Hydroxyzine? Yes, there is some benefit but possibly wearing off.  I'm just not willing to change it at this point.

Any benefit from the Propranolol?  Your using that for WD?  Yes, my doctor recommended and I found some info on here, so decided to try it.  I don't think it has any impact though and will taper off at some point.

 

I keep wanting to change things, but I think I've finally come to the realization that I need to just stop and let it be.

 

Also, after watching a lot of benzo videos on youtube, I feel like I set myself back by taking it early on in this process.  My doctor and therapist kept telling me how important sleep is.....

 

Thanks for the encouragement.

 

Take care,

Crochet

[Crochet]

Talked to my sister tonight and she gave me some perspective.  She has suffered from alcohol and drug issues since she was a teenager, and has been prescribed a number of psychiatric drugs off and on over the years (seroquel, lithium, zoloft, lexapro and more).  They took her off two years of benzo use in 5 days in rehab.  I didn't fully understand how much pain she has lived through.

 

She has experienced all the horrible symptoms that I have and assured me that this would pass.  I love her so much.

[Crochet]

8 weeks since reinstating Lexapro.  I honestly don't know how I've made it this far.  I must be stronger than I realized.

 

Yesterday was pretty bad, but today is a window.

 

Positive changes:

 

-Sleeping about 6 hours per night, sometimes more.

-Muscle jerks whilst trying to sleep have calmed down, but aren't entirely gone

-Appetite is much better and I am enjoying meals again

-Some internal body sensations have lessened or disappeared

-Feeling more positive emotions and less disconnection from the rest of the world

 

To overcome:

 

-Tightness/pain in chest and shortness of breath

-Buzzing in head

-Inability to relax

-Chemical anxiety/panic feeling

-Feeling like my life is over, and yet I am still in a human body

 

I also have fear and anxiety resulting from this experience itself.  This is 'true' fear and anxiety that anyone in this situation would feel. I will have to figure out how to deal with this trauma.

 

 

[mdwstrx]

Hi Crochet.

Happy to hear there are positive changes occurring. From my experience, it sounds a lot like what I went through.

The symptoms that remain were also what I had and they did improve. In fact, once they began to improve,

they did so pretty steadily and more in a linear fashion than the earliest part of wd. As they improve and you regain

some of your confidence, I think you'll find it is easier dealing with the fear and anxiety. I did.

 

Still saying prayers for you. 🙂

md

[Crochet]

@mdwstrxYou have no idea how much you, your story and your kind words mean to me.  I so appreciate you.

 

[Crochet]

Have been thinking back to the early days of my drug journey. 

 

I asked myself, how did I take this pill every day for almost nine years without giving it much thought?  I realized that I was taking the birth control pill from 17-35 years old, so I was already used to taking a pill every day!  From one pill to another....

 

Also, after my "experimentation" with Zoloft and then Wellbutrin in 2011, I can see signs of WD in the early part of 2012.  I just didn't know it at the time. 

[Crochet]

A friend sent me a text last night saying that someone is trying to get off antidepressants and isn't in the best mood.  I immediately called her and told her to warn them. 

 

Why are we told that brain zaps are innocuous and can't hurt you?  They aren't, they are a clear sign of nervous system destabilization.

[Crochet]

Went to the doctor today to have my FMLA paperwork signed.  All went okay.  She prescribed clonidine to me, as she gives this to people going through narcotic or benzo withdrawal.  I haven't had a chance to look into or think much about this drug yet.

 

Also met with friends passing though town, and their two dogs.  That was nice.  My dad arrives tomorrow and we'll make a plan from there.

 

 

[Crochet]

So my dad came out to help me.  We were walking on a path today and he fell and hit his head on a rock, a big gash.  He is at the hospital getting stitches and a cat scan.  Please pray for him.  Thank you.

[Yesyes123]

@Crochet, you and your father have my prayers

[Crochet]

My dad seems to be doing okay, but they want to keep him in the hospital overnight.  I can't visit him there because of Covid.

 

Some other things to enter into my record in case this info helps:

 

I asked the doctor that I am working with how she would taper someone off Lexapro 5mg.  She said, half a pill for 3-4 weeks, then half a pill every other day for 2-4 weeks.

 

I also asked my pharmacist if he had ever heard of a crash from getting off anti-depressants and his eyes got big and he said yes.  He said not everyone, but some people.  He said that Buspar might help.  He also mentioned that there will be some new drugs coming out in 2-3 years that should address this problem.  I thought that was interesting.

[Yesyes123]

14 hours ago, Crochet said:

My dad seems to be doing okay, but they want to keep him in the hospital overnight.  I can't visit him there because of Covid.

 

Some other things to enter into my record in case this info helps:

 

I asked the doctor that I am working with how she would taper someone off Lexapro 5mg.  She said, half a pill for 3-4 weeks, then half a pill every other day for 2-4 weeks.

 

I also asked my pharmacist if he had ever heard of a crash from getting off anti-depressants and his eyes got big and he said yes.  He said not everyone, but some people.  He said that Buspar might help.  He also mentioned that there will be some new drugs coming out in 2-3 years that should address this problem.  I thought that was interesting.

 

That is so interesting. I wonder where he got that information? Are you going to see him again? If you could ask for a source... thanks!

[Nomansland]

Hello @Crochet,

 

you could show this official leaflet by the Royal College of Psychiatrists to your doc.

 

It explains a lot about antidepressant withdrawal and why it is important to taper slowly.

There is also mentioned that "every other day" tapers are very bad for her patients.

Its important to share this information with our medical practitioners to avoid even more people getting harmed.

 

Buspar also need to be tapered slowly.

 

The problem is that most of the medical system doesnt recognize AD withdrawal and its causes, so iam very sceptical about

new meds "without withdrawal potencial". Thats what they tell us about antidepressants, but we will see what the future brings.

In my opinion, any new drug that works on brain receptors like the old ones, can bring up withdrawal.

Anyway, any recognition of withdrawal from psychtropics in the medical community is a good thing.

 

Greetings

 

Nomansland

[Crochet]

@manymoretodaysHi there!  Yesterday I had a stomach issue and couldn't keep anything down, so I did not take my Lexapro dose (or hydroxizyne).  I got six hours of uninterrupted sleep last night and feel somewhat "normal" today.  Does this mean anything?   

[Crochet]

@JenningsI read in another string that you said we have a tendency to blow any little emergency out of proportion while in withdrawal.  I would agree.  My dad had a head injury this week and my thoughts went crazy.  I had horrible stomach issues the other night (probably from eating take out food) and was writhing in pain thinking I was going to die and my dad was going to die.  Today I feel relatively 'normal' and my dad is doing surprisingly well.  These swings in emotions and thoughts are so disturbing.  Are you recovering from your surgery okay?

[Jennings]

I've had a very tough go with the surgery which has set me back to when I first hit withdrawal.

 

I hope you are doing well, it seems you are a little better than before.

[Crochet]

I'm so mad and sad right now.  Mad at myself, mad at my doctors, mad at my therapists, mad at my ex-boyfriend from years ago.

 

I was in therapy and my therapist convinced me to go on an anti-depressant.  When we went to see a couple's counselor, after one short initial visit she told me that I should probably be on medication because I was crying.  Should therapists, non-medical doctors, be pushing medication?  Is this even allowed?  I was doing everything right, I was going to therapy weekly, doing yoga, exercising, eating right, trying to minimize stress at work, etc, etc.  I would have been okay without the medication.

 

Not all therapists are bad, I found a really wonderful one when I lived in Denver and she supported me as I tried to get off Lexapro several years ago.  We went deep into a number of issues.  She was not a supporter of medication.  I only made it down to 2.5 when I tried to go off the medication then.  If I had gotten down to zero, would I have had this same crash then?

 

I saw my GP at least once every year and every year they asked the standard depression and anxiety questions and seemed satisfied with the length of time I was on the antidepressants and never said anything about getting off.  I had to ask about getting off.  I never saw a psychiatrist, didn't think it was necessary for some reason.

 

I'm mad at my ex-boyfriend for thinking that something was wrong with me, when I had come off the birth control pill after over 15 years and just needed to adjust.  I wasn't depressed because I didn't want to kayak, climb, or mountain bike every day.

 

I've done okay in life, even though I am a sensitive, shy and quirky person.  I'm not street smart at all and am generally optimistic.  I think this hurt me.  I believed that I was safe somehow.  Now I'm in a world of hurt, as so many other people are. 

 

I watch all these beautiful people on youtube and this forum share their experiences and it makes me so sad and so angry.  And there isn't one person to blame, we've all collectively created this together somehow.  

 

Thanks for listening, peace.

[Pnwrt]

Hang in there!  I've been mostly lurking around here after finding this a good place to find success stories as I try to encourage my spouse to wean herself off of Lexapro.  I grew up and we met in Flagstaff, AZ and your story always sticks with me since Sedona was a treasured place for us to go hiking and mountain biking.  Sending happy trails and best wishes your way.

[Yesyes123]

@Crochet been thinking about you. We will make it to the other side, for sure. You have my prayers. How have you been these last days?

[Yesyes123]

@Crochetare you actually into Crochet? I just started doing it.

[Crochet]

@PnwrtThanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it.  I got to spend a month or so in WA state a few years back and loved hiking out there, so lush.  One day, I will get back to my love of exploring.  I wish health and happiness to be regained for you and your wife.

 

@Yesyes123Thanks for the encouragement.  The last few days have been pretty rough, but I am trying my best.  I don't crochet a lot, nor am I very advanced, but I do crochet.  My grandmother and great aunt taught me.  I have a basket with a crochet project in it and that's the first thing I saw when I was thinking of a screen name!  I'm glad that you are giving it a try.

[Crochet]

I think I'm going to give the Dynamic Neural Retraining System a try, why not?  Will report back.

 

I went off the hydroxyzine while my stomach was troubled and I had lots of hives.  Have had them off and on since December, but this antihistamine has kept them at bay.  This training system seems to help people with sensitivities.

 

I went to the drug manufacturers website and entered an adverse drug reaction submission.  I think you can do this through the FDA as well.  I don't know.

 

I actually slept off and on all day today, that is first.  Not sure what is going on, flu-like symptoms, but no fever or anything.

 

Major symptoms right now:  Chest pain/tightness, chemical anxiety, really depressed, feels like my brain/neck is burning, insomnia.  10 weeks since reinstating.

 

 

 

 

[Crochet]

Spoke to a friend a few moments ago who experienced withdrawal when changing from Lexapro to Celexa years ago.  She also withdrew very slowly from a Benzo and experienced terrible effects.  She is very healthy and happy right now and it was so good to talk to her.  She understood everything.

 

She assured me that I wouldn't feel this way forever.  We won't feel this way forever. 

 

I also came across a video on youtube that gives me hope.  It's called "Antidepressant Withdrawal Success Story."  This woman is beautiful and strong and went through so much.

[Crochet]

Heard from a friend today.  He explained that he had a similar experience 20 years ago when he tried to get off Paxil.  He had to go back on and worked with a physician to finally get off.  He is a very active, kind and healthy person today, around 65-70 years old.

[Yesyes123]

1 hour ago, Crochet said:

Heard from a friend today.  He explained that he had a similar experience 20 years ago when he tried to get off Paxil.  He had to go back on and worked with a physician to finally get off.  He is a very active, kind and healthy person today, around 65-70 years old.

 

This is proof that it is actually not going to be that bad if you're outside of the experience! It's only truly scary while you are on it.

 

We will heal and this will be just a memory!

[Crochet]

I'm at about 3 months since reinstatement and things seem to be shifting.  I'm getting more sleep - was able to take a 3 hour nap yesterday and still slept through the night last night.  All I want to do is sleep, which is good. 

 

I went to the park the other day and did yoga in a grassy field, laid down on the earth and it felt good - this is improvement.

 

Remaining symptoms:

chest pain

mild organic anxiety

mild depression

head buzzing