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Patrish42: Introduction ... and how do you deal with depression?


Patrish42

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Hi.  This is my first post.  I have suffered from major depression for 34 years and have used various medications over that time period to treat it.  Some worked well and some did not.  However I have now gone through approximately 2 years without any prescribed medication helping my depression at all.  And I have also developed anxiety, for which I take .5 mg ativan nightly.  Earlier this year I had a course of ECT treatments and a series of Ketamine infusions, both with no improvement.  I was put on Remeron earlier this year and currently take 45 mg.  After a few months it was clear that it was not effective and I tried a very slow taper.  I only lasted 3 or 4 days.  The severe anxiety and nausea were too much to bear on top of my baseline anxiety and depression.  I hope that a day will come when I feel strong enough to once again attempt a taper but that day is not today.  I am hoping that I will still be permitted to participate in the forums and glean from the enormous wisdom and strength I have encountered as I have browsed the website.  

 

I know that many here have been able to stop their psych meds, and that many more are courageously working to do the same.  My question: how have you been able to treat your depression without medications?  I am meditating each morning, get to the gym most days, working weekly with a very skilled CBT therapist, trying to eat healthfully, etc., but I am still suffering terribly with depression.   Lately I have been thinking that I need to go inpatient to keep myself safe, but I know that the providers there will want to prescribe medications and I just don't want to be put on yet another medication that I may have to wean off of at some point.  Can you please tell me what the "fix" (if any) has been for the condition that got you on these horrible meds in the first place?  Thanks very much for sharing anything you have found to be helpful.

Edited by Patrish42
spelling error

Current psych meds:  Remeron 45 mg     Ativan .5 mg  (both started April 2021)

Previous meds include:  Prozac, Tofranil, Nortryptyline, Zoloft, Doxepin, Wellbutrin, Ritalin, Adderall, Vraylar, Risperidone, Seroquel,   

Low dose Naltrexone, Ketamine via IV infusions

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Patrish42: Introduction....and how do you deal with depression?
  • Administrator

Welcome, @Patrish42

 

We don't treat depression here, but members support each other in topics such as 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

On 10/7/2021 at 6:55 AM, Patrish42 said:

And I have also developed anxiety, for which I take .5 mg ativan nightly.

 

Do you take Ativan only once a day? How long have you been taking it?

 

How does mirtazapine affect you?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks for the helpful links and apologies for the delayed response.

 

Re: the ativan, I am prescribed 2 @ .5 mg daily.  Most days I just take the one at bedtime.  I use CBT and other skills most days to deal with anxiety, but on occasions when that does not suffice I take the additional .5 mg.  Frequency is perhaps one every 8-10 days.   And I have been taking it since April of 2021.

 

The mirtazapine was prescribed for depression, but did not work.  What I have been left with is a weight gain of about 7 lbs and very dry lips; unpleasant but not intolerable.  I don't want to be on this medication, but the severe treatment-resistant depression and frequent anxiety that I suffer from require every ounce of fortitude I have just to get from day to day.   Since I already tried a slow taper earlier this year with horrific results, I am not currently at a place where I can add the additional burden of withdrawal to my baseline condition.  Perhaps I will revisit this group when/if I get to the point where I feel strong enough to once again attempt a taper.

 

Thanks again for your help.

 

 

Current psych meds:  Remeron 45 mg     Ativan .5 mg  (both started April 2021)

Previous meds include:  Prozac, Tofranil, Nortryptyline, Zoloft, Doxepin, Wellbutrin, Ritalin, Adderall, Vraylar, Risperidone, Seroquel,   

Low dose Naltrexone, Ketamine via IV infusions

 

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  • Administrator

@Patrish42, it is possible both your anxiety and "treatment-resistant depression" are due to the Ativan.

 

"Depression" is a common adverse effect of benzodiazepines such as Ativan. Also, very often, when Ativan wears off, people experience surges of interdose withdrawal anxiety and other symptoms, which can be quite severe.

 

What times o'clock do you take your drugs, with their dosages? Was there a period when you were taking 0.5mg Ativan twice a day? If yes, when was that, and when did you start taking it once a day?

 

Please keep daily notes of times o’clock you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

 

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hello again.  

 

Re: ativan, no, I only take the .5 mg dosage at night.  I have never taken the 2nd dose on a regular basis, only prn, and I do that very infrequently so as not to become tolerant, which I know can happen within a very short period of time.   Also, I have struggled with depression for many years; I don't think the ativan is causing the depression since I only began taking it in April 2021.  

 

Typical 24 hours is as follows:

 

7 AM           wake up with intense anxiety

7:30 AM      50 mcg of synthroid (thyroid function monitored with regular bloodwork)

12 PM          anxiety begins to abate; depression persists throughout the day

7 PM            dinner

                     supplements (Calcium/Vit D, magnesium glycinate, omegas, Vit C, multivitamin)

                     5 mg Rosuvastatin

10 PM          45 mg Remeron

                      .5 mg Ativan

11 PM            bedtime (fall asleep easily and sleep through the night)

 

Thanks for your help.  

 

 

 

 

 

Current psych meds:  Remeron 45 mg     Ativan .5 mg  (both started April 2021)

Previous meds include:  Prozac, Tofranil, Nortryptyline, Zoloft, Doxepin, Wellbutrin, Ritalin, Adderall, Vraylar, Risperidone, Seroquel,   

Low dose Naltrexone, Ketamine via IV infusions

 

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Have you looked into Mikhaila Peterson and how she cured her depression ? It doesn't cure withdrawal syndrome though.

  • February 2020LEXAPRO 15mg/April : lowered to 10mg/Mai : 7,5mg then 5mg/June 15 : lowered to 2,5mg --> major WD living hell)
  • June 19 : back on 5mg/June 23: back on 10mg, major WD gone after a few days /End ofJuly 2020 : feeling amazing
  • September 2020 Lower to 7,5mg --> Instantly anhedonic
  • December 2020 : Decides to up my dose because I really can't take the anhedonia anymore --> insomnia + vision disturbances + what I think was akathesia. From that failed updose remains a feeling of inner tension (mild aka ?) that I will often feel later on 
  • February Started the process of converting my solid dose to a liquid "homemade" dose --> figured out that for me the liquid was way more "powerful" than the solid 
  • March 4th :  3mg
  • May 26th : 108mL<-> 2,7mg --> symptoms : high heart rate (120 when just standing), dry mouth and eyes, difficulty sleeping, crying spells, anxiety (whereas anxiety and sadness are completely inexistent on 120mg, it's like there's some sort of passage where under 3mg, feelings come back full force with almost no "transition" from 0 to 100, it's like under 3mg, the zombie/suppression of feelings effect of the med is inefficient, like a threshold)
  • June 3rd : back on 125mL <-> 3,125mg, completely stable again a few days later, no suffering whatsoever, just the anhedonia
  • August 1st : hit with intense panic, cortisol, cannot eat. 

If you're happy on your antidepressant, really think twice before taking the decision to stop it. Because even by tapering slowly, it can have long-lasting hellish consequences

 

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No, but I will do so; thanks so much.  So sorry you are having such difficulty with the Lexapro withdrawal.  Hope things improve for you soon.  It is all so very hard.

Current psych meds:  Remeron 45 mg     Ativan .5 mg  (both started April 2021)

Previous meds include:  Prozac, Tofranil, Nortryptyline, Zoloft, Doxepin, Wellbutrin, Ritalin, Adderall, Vraylar, Risperidone, Seroquel,   

Low dose Naltrexone, Ketamine via IV infusions

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Patrish42: Introduction ... and how do you deal with depression?

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