Chessie: 30 yrs of ADs and no better

[Chessie]

Greetings and thank you for this forum.  

 

I'm a 57 year-old woman, married with children, trying to navigate both menopause and depression as I heal my brain and taper off

 

Cymbalta (was at 90mg),

Lamictal (was at 200mg) and

Seroquel (25mg). 

 

I am momentarily unemployed and grateful for a loving husband who supports me and tries his best to love what there is left of me. 

 

I see now that I've done all the wrong things in terms of managing my psych meds - any tapering onto or off of the various meds I've been prescribed by general physicians starting 1987 and, since 2011 with a psychiatrist, has been swift and casual, to say the least.  In retrospect, I can see now why life seemed like a struggle.

 

After recently stumbling upon Peter Breggin's work, I was inspired (I use that term loosely), to confront the possibility that AD/mood stabilizers have not been my friend these long years.  Below, I list my current symptoms but these are only slightly more pronounced than when I was taking all my meds as prescribed.  In short, I've been miserable for years even on meds.  

 

In mid-January, while recovering from surgery, I unintentionally stopped taking Lamictal cold-turkey.  I have not resumed my normal 200mg-dose.  Several weeks ago, I forgot to take my Cymbalta 90mg dose each day:  when I realized it, I cut back to just the one 30mg cap and that's where I am now.  I have cut back the nightly Seroquel (for sleep problems) to 0 or 1/2 tab (12mg) as I can tolerate it.  

 

Current symptoms:  5'2', 200 lbs, in constant physical pain throughout my body.  6 wk post-operative/foot surgery 12/2021 (*). Lack of interest, no emotion or feelings of connectedness to anyone, brittle temperament, desire to hide from life, difficulty trying to connect to anything spiritual, lack of hope, suicidal thinking, obsessive negative thinking, self-hating thoughts.  I am lurching through my days avoiding as much interaction with others including my family members, as possible - and just trying to appear as normal as I can to my children.  I'm confident about one thing only: I don't come off as very normal. 

 

(*)Post-surgery, I used only 5 tabs of my oxycodone Rx - my surgeon used a nerve block and I did very well with pain just taking Tylenol or Motrin.  I do not believe any of my current feelings have anything to do with pain medication. 

 

Current substance use:  I have a glass of wine or two, or sometimes three nightly.  Some nights I have nothing to drink.   I began to experiment with cannabis for the very first time 6 months ago and used it once or twice a month: the effects are wonderful and of course fleeting so I've given that up.  I have a cup or two of coffee in the morning.  

 

Goals:  

* To become productive again, and be able to care for my home, my children and husband as a partner 

* To find fulfillment and purpose in life

* To avoid suicide, stop the horrible thoughts and trust myself again

 

I am grateful for any advice, especially as it relates to tapering, supplementation and other coping strategies.  I am grateful for the resources in this site; I am exploring as much as I can on my own.  Peace.  

[Frogie]

@Chessie

 

Welcome to SA. We are a volunteer run site helping member such as yourself to taper off medications.

 

This is your introduction page where you receive information, you can ask questions, and meet other members going through what you are. We ask that each member only have one page so we can keep all your information in one place.

 

Thank you for creating a signature and your detailed information.

 

As I see, you cold turkey'd off of Lamictal. You could reinstate at 25 mg and see if that would help some symptoms. A nice long hold and then a nice long taper.

 

 

Then you cut your Cymbalta by 75%? We never suggest more than a 10% a month taper.  Since this has been less than a month, it would be suggested to go back to the original dose and hold, hold and hold.

 

This link also gives you tips on how to taper off Cymbalta.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

 

You want to refrain from alcohol if at all possible.

 

 

 

 

After you read the links provided, please reach out to us with any questions you may have.

 

 

 

[Chessie]

@Frogie: Thank you so much for taking the time to go through my intro and respond with concerns, questions and links. 

 

I will carefully look at all that you shared - esp reinstating both Lamictal & Cymbalta at the right levels.

 

[Both initial CT's on those drugs were by mistake - and then I came across the AD/WD matter and Peter Breggin info - and then I found this community, and then... I thought I'd better stand still until I got reaction and not bounce around.]

 

Thank you again for your thoughtful response & care.  I'll get back to reading it and the links, and give a full account by tomorrow of my plan and status.  I am grateful for you & the network.  

[Frogie]

@Chessie

 

I'm glad I can help.

 

Please let me know if you have any questions that I can answer for you.

 

 

[Greatful]

@Chessie  Welcome Chassie to SA.  Thank goodness you found us..........There is so much information here and on the web to learn about these drugs and the harm they can do.  Make sure to check out the Symptoms & Self -Care forum......You will find that your symptoms are pretty common.  Crazy some of the symptoms people have both physically and emotionally.....I know I found relief to see that my unfathomable fear, OCD, ruminating, all where normal........Let me tell you I had some near sycosis thoughts and fears. http:// Symptoms and self-care

 

 

Oh boy if we could talk..  I have been on psych med's for about 25 years too..........I was on Lamictal for about 5-6 years I am down to 37.5mg.  

We can trade note later lol

 

Please learn, learn, learn about these drugs......So much information out there if you know where to look. 

Just on here there is 

http:// In the media

http:// From journals and scientific sources

 

I won't overwhelm you with to much.  I know when our brains are going through a temporary chemical brain damage is can be hard to read, concentrate.  Take your time. 

 

Post and ask questions anytime......Most of us are in the same boat struggling to understand what happened to us and waiting out the healing time.  Then there are those that are drug free and made it to the other side of this journey, they can be reached in the success stories http:// Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal 

[Chessie]

@Frogie @Frogie, and @Greatful @Greatful:  I wanted to update you about my plan and progress now almost a month into my (janky) tapering and self-monitoring.  Please consider this low-priority - I'm so grateful (and greatful  ) for your time and attention.  Thank you for the incredible support - I've been reading as much as I can about Cymbalta tapering here and via external links.

 

Short version:  I'm feeling pretty steady and not planning on making any changes for several months. 

• In general, I feel no worse right now than during the previous 6-11 years I've been on my "cocktail" of Cymbalta-Lamictal-Seroquel, but much more stable and functional than when I initially stepped off my meds (and then those first several weeks after) in mid-January.   I can smile, laugh more easily and envision a future.  That was not the case a month ago.   Attached below my signature details is a doc I use to chart myself.  But in general, and for now, I'm holding steady. 

• Cymbalta 30mg since early Feb. I plan to hold here at this dose for 3-6 months as I adjust to working and reduce the risk of WD symptoms. (I understand that there are no guarantees - especially since I went from 90 mg to 30mg abruptly.  Had I not stabilized and begun functioning well after the first few weeks, I'd have reinstated Cymbalta and then begun a more conservative taper.  And I do recognize that I'm still rolling the dice and that a more significant WD may be in my future. ) 

• Seroquel 12.5mg at night as needed since early Feb: 3 out of 4 nights, I do not take it.  Instead I use "Calm" (magnesium) and sleep teas as well as breathing meditation, to get to (or get back to) sleep.  If I've gone a few nights without sound sleep, I take a half-pill (12.5 mg) just to try to get a good night in. 

• Longer term plan: Unless there's a wrinkle, in 6 months if I'm feeling stable and functional, I'll resume tapering at 5-10% month using the bead-counting method.  If after that there's still difficulty, I'll either back up or try to hold for a while, and resume with a micro-taper protocol. 

Questions/Advice:

Am I unwise to continue to use the 12.5mg Seroquel in this way? (as needed)   Should I instead do a regular taper of Seroquel until I can safely discontinue altogether?  

 

I'm about to start a new full-time job in a few days which could turn things upside down for me.  If I hop back onto Seroquel (12.5mg) regularly for a few months every night as I adjust to working again, it might make life smoother.  But I don't want to get sucked back in.  

 

Thank you for your ideas and time. 

 

Edited March 13, 2022 by ChessieCat
added correct tagging

[Frogie]

@Chessie

 

It sounds like you are doing really well under all the circumstances you face.

 

Congratulations on the new job! I think at this point since you've been taking the Seroquel regularly since February, I would continue to take it and taper off of it when you are ready.

 

Keep me posted on your new job and how you are doing. But again, it sounds like you are doing really well. Glad to hear it!

[Chessie]

@Frogie @Greatful  Hello!  

 

I wanted to give a very quick update on my progress - all good.  

 

In February, I abruptly stopped nearly all my meds and had a very negative few weeks.  Here, at May1st, I feel so much more stable, more hopeful and functioning well and with more clarity. 

 

I'm holding at 30mg Cymbalta - which is kind of my initial "landing" (from 90 to none to 30mg between midJan-midMar) on the path to tapering off.  So since midMarch, 30 mg Cymbalta every day, 0 lamictal, 12.5 seroquel at night most nights.  That's about 6 weeks with no new changes i dosing.  It feels right.  My plan was and still is to remain here for another few months and then, if all is going well, to resume tapering at no more than a 10% drop per month. 

 

I started a new job in midMarch.  So far, so good.  It's not a demanding job, it's very close to home, I'm good at it, and the folks with whom I work are collegial and professional.  I feel blessed that I landed in a good (if not terribly challenging or well-paying) job.  It's what I need right now.  

 

I checked in with both my therapist and psychiatrist to be open about what I'm doing.  Therapist was more alarmed than the shrink, who actually said he agreed that the less medication, the better.  I'll continue to follow up with him until I'm 100% off meds for at least a year.  

 

I'm trying to weave in some exercise - that's the next layer of recovery. 

 

Thank you both for your support and checking in on me.  I deeply appreciate it.  

 

~C

 

 

 

[Frogie]

@Chessie

 

That sounds like you are doing pretty well, I'm really glad to hear that.

 

I'm also really glad that you have decided to hold for stabilization before starting a 10% taper.

 

Things sound like they are really looking up for you😊

[Greatful]

@Chessie  Thanks for the up date.......What's it feel to feel good lol....Way to go.. I do have a question Did you ct'd  Lamictal  at 200mg?  Congrats on the job too.

[Chessie]

@Greatful  Thank you.  Yes: In Feb, I stopped CT on Lamictal at 200mg/day.  I did this once before, but that was due to a neck rash - I stayed off for about a month until I could see my psychiatrist; only then, I was on 400mg/day.  We both decided at that time that it was not related to the Lamictal (the rash) - and I went back on at the reduced dose of 200.  And that's where I stayed for 2 years (?) until this past Feb.  

 

I believe I've been fortunate so far not to have more side effects.  My husband is my benchmark - he tells me how I'm doing.  And so far, he seems to agree that I'm stable and improving.  I agree with @Frogie~ holding for another several months to see if I have any CNS relapse before tapering on Cymbalta is the prudent course.  

 

Thank you @Greatful and @Frogie for checking in on me 🙏