Totito Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Hi everyone, I first took Zoloft as a teenager, to get out of a depressive episode (December 2016- March 2018). It worked really well, and i came off by tapering over a month and a half. I recovered completely in a few months, by just living my life and getting into sports a bit. I started Zoloft again on January 2020 until september 2020. I came off very quickly, unsupervised, over the course of a week or two if i remember correctly. I remember going from 50mg to 25mg and regaining a lot of sexual feelings. I then decided to stop abruptly, thinking it would bring back the rest of my emotions/sexuality more quickly. For the next two months i experienced frequent panic attacks, brain zaps, and complete sexual /emotional numbness. For about a year i took cialis and various supplements in order to have a normal sexual functioning. It worked quite well, until the effects started to wear off. I suddenly realized the extent of my sexual numbness : i stopped every supplement/ cialis in december 2021 and decided i would rather heal (or not) on my own than relying on all this **** at the age of 21. Here i am, 18 months off the zoloft i took for 8 months. My anhedonia has gotten a bit better, although emotions still feel really toned down. The PSSD is really bad, although i can still feel orgasms, i have little sensation and very bad ED. After 17 months of self pity and misery, here's the protocol i decided to implement a month ago, in order to heal : - Exercise 4 times a week for about an hour (Cardio-Bodyweight training / Swimming) - Meditation every day for 20 minutes - Reading 50 pages everyday (used to be a passion of mine) - Cut out gluten/ dairy/ sugar. - No weed/ alcohol. - Seeing my friends a lot, and trying to find pleasure in the little things. This protocol has been quite beneficial so far. I found myself laughing again, and feeling happy to see friends and whatnot. I even started crying a lot, and felt lots of chills down my spine when watching a horror movie with a friend. I also realized i'm not responsible for what happened to me and i shouldn't feel guilty about it/ less of a man. I should focus on what i can do rather than what i cannot, and on the little pleasure i experience. I few days ago, i was feeling really tired so my mom gave me a supplement in order to boost my energy levels. It had panax ginseng in it (i later learned it acts as natural SSRI) : it made me feel really horny for two days but on the third i crashed. I'm experiencing insomnia and my emotional/sexual numbness has gotten worse. This setback has made me a bit anxious, but it does not change my plans. What is done is done, i can't untake this ginseng. I'll update this thread every 90 days of my protocol, in order to have a more global and clear picture of my progress. I'm on day 33 right now. I don't know how long all this will take me, but i try to not put numbers/expectations on my journey, as i know it can be very detrimental and obsessive. In the mean time, i wish you all the best in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted March 27, 2022 Moderator Share Posted March 27, 2022 Hi @Totito, I am really sorry that you have to go through this but am glad that you have found a path through it. Your plan sounds good. I would advise being careful with exercise - sometimes strenuous exercise can exacerbate symptoms, so we recommend gentle walking instead. But see how your body reacts, everyone is different. Good call on the alcohol/weed - we find any psychoactive substances can exacerbate withdrawal and set you back. Please keep us updated on your progress. In the meantime, if you could please fill in your drug signature here, that would be great: How to List Drug History in Signature - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants I am also attaching a few informative forum topics that you might find helpful. Are We There Yet? How Long Is Withdrawal Going To Take? - Tapering - Surviving Antidepressants Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants What is happening in your brain? - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants Good luck to you and hope you keep getting better and quickly! OMW "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Totito Posted May 26, 2022 Author Share Posted May 26, 2022 Update Still going strong with the diet, exercise, meditation and getting back into my passions treatment. I've had a few times where i've tried to do like others (drinking, smoking) and i just felt bad each time. Anhedonia and PSSD are still there, but there has been times where they have lessened. I never feel completely improved, but there are times where one thing gets better, and another one gets worse etc.. eg my cognition will get better for a day or my sensation will be better or my anxiety will lessen. The last few days i've felt horny. Not as much as before SSRI, but definitely more than a few months ago. I've also been having more romantic thoughts, and i try to take my gf on dates more often lately. With the brain fog going away and my ambitions coming back (getting back into my passions helped a ton with that), i've realized how much i neglected her and our relationship. I felt like a zombie for 1 and a half years. I sometimes feel a lot of sorrow, as if i had abandonned her. I'm crying as i type this. When i felt nothing, she was the only one that could make me feel close to a human being. Diet seems to have made the biggest difference for me so far. I'm sure the rest is helping too. I'm also having terrible constant headaches lately, which is a new symptom. Still a long way to go, but i'm happy with those little improvements. I try to open my head and my heart to the world around me, even if it's difficult. 1 Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted May 27, 2022 Moderator Share Posted May 27, 2022 (edited) Hi @Totito These look like good news. I like your attitude. What you are experiencing seem like a waves and windows. Your body is healing! OMW Edited May 27, 2022 by Onmyway "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
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