SavedByTheKlavan: my intro

[SavedByTheKlavan]

My name is SavedByTheKlavan, and I'm glad I found this place. 

 

I'll make an attempt at an introduction that's not too long. 

 

At the age of 17 (2017) I was given my first antidepressants (Sertraline) after a couple SAs that took place within a couple days. The doctors and social workers were unsure whether it was bipolar or MDD (it was neither) so they started me on a low dose but eventually I was up to 200mg. The drugs didn't really help and after another SA in 2019, I was admitted to the hospital and put on a mood stabilizer, Abilify, at 5mg. Symptoms didn't improve, so by Aug 2021 my doc put me on escitalopram, titrating me up to IIRC was 15 mg. At the same time, my therapist started to suspect a personality disorder. I never finished titration due to yet another few SAs within a week. I admitted myself to the hospital again and was put on Lexapro, though I don't recall the dosage. It didn't help either.

 

During my follow-up appointment with a new psychiatrist following my release, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. He said there aren't any drugs to help with that, but since I was sleeping 12 to 14 hours daily, he put me on 150mg of Bupropion, and this actually seemed to help reduce the sleep psychosis/neurosis/whatever it was. Unbeknownst to me, on December 24, 2021, (Merry Christmas, me) the manufacturer of the Bupropion changed from an Indian company (Cipla) to a Chinese company (Slate Run) and within a week I started having constant GI issues.

 

In Jan 2022, a good man told me that my problems (not the GI ones, but all the others) were mainly psychological (I had previously just assumed they were primarily theological in nature) and that God wants me to find a good therapist. Thankfully, I did, and after a few months of weekly DBT, I could function better than I ever thought I could. I went from an appointment a week to every other week, to every month, to now where I just text him if I think a session would help. It's kind of frustrating that I was put on all these drugs I likely never needed when a few months of correctly targeted therapy was worth a world of difference. But often, the frustration is eclipsed by the gratitude of seeing things through a psychologically healthy lens instead of the warped hellscape BPD so easily shows you.

 

However, despite my psychological healing, the GI issues continue. It took me six months and a few thousand dollars in medical bills to realize that the culprit of my digestive problems could be the pills, so on June 1, I stopped taking them CT. The psych said that 150mg was a low enough dosage that I could just stop without tapering. After 2 or 3 days off of them, I noticed that almost all the symptoms had at least started to subside: I was hungry again, and my intestines don't loudly gurgle at me constantly. But I'm persistently reminded of an unending feeling of digestive uneasiness. It constantly feels like I've eaten something I shouldn't. I've tried diet changes, had an endoscopy in May which was followed up by antibiotics that I think made it worse, and I'm currently taking probiotics to replenish the good bacteria that got annihilated by the antibiotics. If I had to say, symptoms are improving, but verrryy slowly so it's often difficult to believe my own observations that I'm getting better.

 

I like to consider myself patient in times of pain and stress, and perhaps that's mostly true. But every 2 or 3 days I feel I'm about to crack because of the constant pain and discomfort in my guts. I don't know whether this condition is caused by coming off years of psychotropic drugs too quickly, or if it's simply that this particular manufacturer's version of Bupropion just sucks really bad and screwed up the way my guts behave and it'll take time for them to adjust to proper function again without psychotropic drugs. I do find it odd that during my 5 years of AD use, I never had side effects even remotely as bad as this. The only side effects on previous drugs were a few weeks of super violent or gory dreams when I was adjusting to a new drug or dose.

 

Any help, advice, or encouragement is welcome and appreciated. Thanks. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @SavedByTheKlavan

 

Good to hear you're doing well psychologically off the drugs. It could be that you did have an adverse reaction to bupropion affecting your GI tract and it will take some time to clear up.

 

However, you might have gastro issues that are coincidental with taking bupropion. Have you had a full GI workup, with a test for h. pylori?

 

While we don't offer gastrointestinal or general medical care here, many of our members have developed GI issues and found these tips helpful in recovery:

 

Elimination or exclusion diets for reactions to food (food intolerance)

 

Histamine intolerance

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[SavedByTheKlavan]

Thanks, I appreciate it.

 

I did an H. Pylori test a while ago and it came back negative. After an examination of my daily caloric intake, I realized it was quite lacking (700 calories a day for the past 2 weeks), so 4 days ago I went to the store and bought a ton of protein heavy snacks and have eaten 2000 calories a day since then. Pretty sure that was a big part of why I still felt like garbage since the past 4 days I've noticed my intestines getting a lot better. I've also been on probiotics for a few weeks now, so maybe the antibiotics  from a couple months ago did more harm than good and I'm just now starting to replenish the tummy buddies (my friend calls them that and I think it's funny so I'm stealing it) in my intestines.

 

I doubt I developed any permanent intolerances but my current doc has me on a low carb diet so I'll stick to that until I'm feeling normal again, at which point I'll allow myself some cake or soda or bread every now and then, in measured quantities.

[Altostrata]

1 hour ago, SavedByTheKlavan said:

maybe the antibiotics  from a couple months ago did more harm than good

 

good guess

[SavedByTheKlavan]

It's been about 20 days since I last posted, so I'll provide an update. 

 

For 2 weeks, my guts hadn't improved at all. There was this constant burning feeling in my intestines, mostly on the right and left lower corners, inside my hip bones. Upon doing some calculations, I realized I was only eating 600 calories a day, and the day after I started eating 2000 calories, my intestines were in hyperdrive and I couldn't take another day of constant bowel movements. But things slowed down the next day and I was feeling a little better after that, but every couple days I would have a day where I felt as awful as I did a week or two before, which was making me worry something else was wrong with my intestines. I had the doctor perform an upper and lower endoscopy and he found a kink in my colon that he was able to straighten out with the colonoscope. He found a bit of gastritis as well, and took some biopsies to test for possible minimal ileitis, colitis, and inflammation in my duodenum (don't know the name for that one, something-itis). My dad told me that the doc said I should feel much better after being straightened out (I don't recall because of sedation drugs). 

 

However, I don't feel any different than before the scopes. For all but 2 days of the 10 days since the scope, my bowels behave like this: I have pain on the right and left side lower corners for the first half of my day with little to no bowel activity except a bowel movement after breakfast. Then, an hour or so after lunch, I get super bloated but can't pass any gas until an hour or so after that, and for the rest of the night I'm super gassy. During this time, I still have pain in the aforementioned spots. The 2 days that weren't like this, I was unable to pass a movement in the morning of one day and didn't eat that much because I wasn't hungry. My bowels felt like hot air was being pumped inside them all day for 2 days straight, but after eating on Sunday night, the pain seems to have reduced a bit and now I'm back to the symptoms of the other 8 days. It seems like instead of the feeling of hunger, my guts feel like they're being heated and inflated well beyond comfort.

 

I don't know what to do. My follow up appointment with the doctor is in 10 days and I'm just so tired of hurting after 8 months of constant pain. I'm tired of being told I should feel a lot better after doing this or that, and then after doing this or that, I feel the same or worse. This is the weirdest, longest, and most miserable set of physical symptoms I have ever experienced in my life and it's not even close. I'm not sure if this is caused by the Bupropion or if something else has happened, or both, but it's making me lose my mind. My distress tolerance is almost completely exhausted by the time I get home from work, and that's on good days.

 

Any advice is appreciated, even if it's just given for the purpose of helping me cope with this **** (no pun intended).

[Altostrata]

This is sounding like a gastrointestinal problem, maybe physiological, not a consequence of taking or going off psychiatric drugs. 

 

1 hour ago, SavedByTheKlavan said:

I had the doctor perform an upper and lower endoscopy and he found a kink in my colon that he was able to straighten out with the colonoscope.

 

Perhaps the kink or other obstruction came back.

 

Bupropion is well known for suppressing appetite, it could be that a developing gastrointestinal problem was coincidental with your taking bupropion.

[SavedByTheKlavan]

6 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

This is sounding like a gastrointestinal problem, maybe physiological, not a consequence of taking or going off psychiatric drugs. 

Could you describe why you think this is the case? You might be totally right, I just am not sure how to tell the difference. What are normal AD withdrawal symptoms and how are my symptoms different?

[ChessieCat]

23 minutes ago, SavedByTheKlavan said:

What are normal AD withdrawal symptoms

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

[SavedByTheKlavan]

7 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

So I'm having a few of those symptoms on the list, not just the GI ones. For example, I've had restless legs come and go a few times and the same with an eye twitch. But the GI issues are way worse and have lasted all day every day this year. 

[ChessieCat]

There are many existing topics on various symptoms.  You can search for them using the site search function or use an internet search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.

 

Or you can check out the titles of the topics in this forum:

 

Symptoms and self-care

[Altostrata]

Bupropion can cause constipation, but physical intestinal obstruction such as a "kink" is not known to be an adverse effect of the newer psychiatric drugs. That sounds like an internal physiological problem.

 

If I were you, I'd look further into types of intestinal obstruction, including "kinks" in the colon. Not everything is due to drug withdrawal.

 

On 8/2/2022 at 11:04 AM, SavedByTheKlavan said:

After 2 or 3 days off of them, I noticed that almost all the symptoms had at least started to subside: I was hungry again, and my intestines don't loudly gurgle at me constantly.

 

As noted before, bupropion is well known to suppress appetite.

 

8 hours ago, SavedByTheKlavan said:

For example, I've had restless legs come and go a few times and the same with an eye twitch.

 

You may also have withdrawal symptoms. So-called restless legs may also be from dehydration or inactivity. Recommend drinking plenty of water, possibly supplement with magnesium and potassium (known to help "restless" legs), and gently stretching your legs every day.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you’re doing.

[SavedByTheKlavan]

I appreciate the replies. Here's an update:

 

I started going to physical therapy at the beginning of the month (to prevent my colon from twisting again), and the first 2 weeks or so helped me feel much better than I'd felt in a long time. After the first appointment, I went from constant level 4 pain to intermittent level 1 pain. It would slowly increase until the next therapy session, but the trend overall looked great.

 

But the last 2 weeks of physical therapy haven't helped nearly at all. I feel as bad now as I did before I started going. Which doesn't make any sense, physical therapy basically never works like that. During the last 2 sessions (I go twice a week), the guy was able to pop my leg back into its proper place in my hip after he noticed my feet didn't match up length-wise, but the relief I've gotten from that (pain being reduced down to a 1 or a 2) only lasts a couple hours at most before the pain returns to where it was before: a constant, aching, level 3 or 4 pain in my lower abdomen/pelvic/hip region.

 

I've been on this low carb diet for almost 3 months now, and while it seems like my GI system is working better than it was (I'm having almost exclusively normal bowel movements now), the pain just won't go away. I've scheduled something with my doctor again, but it isn't for another 2 weeks. I don't want to wait another 2 weeks to start trying to figure out how to do something that I'm hesitant to believe will help anyway. I scheduled an appointment with my therapist because the physical pain is wearing my emotional tolerance down almost immediately every day and I really don't want to be tempted to give up this gift of life just because some stupid pain won't let up for a singular second. I escaped from that psychological hell, and I'm not going back.

 

So yeah, this sucks and I have no idea what's wrong with me and apparently no one else knows either and I'm ready for this to be over. If you have any advice, or even just some sympathy, I will much appreciate either or both. Thank you.

[Altostrata]

Again, this sounds like a medical problem unrelated to withdrawal. Be sure to drink a good amount of water each day.

[SavedByTheKlavan]

I figured as much. I just came seeking some guidance or comfort. I had a CT scan scheduled for Friday, which I was hoping would give me some answers, but insurance decided to deny the request. Coincidentally, I met my max out of pocket last month. I'm trying to find a chronic pain group to meet with because the emotional toll these issues are taking on me is so high. My therapist said that chronic pain is a pretty good indicator for risk of suicide, and combined with my Borderline Personality Disorder (I believe the highest risk of suicide of any psychological disorder), I need to take precautions. That would be the lamest thing ever to give up this gift of life after mentally healing, just because some stupid intestinal pain wouldn't let up for a single second for more than 9 months.

 

My hope at this point is that since I was on those pills for 5 months, after 5 months of being off them, I'll be feeling better. That will be the beginning of November. I wasn't sure that was reasonable, but at this point, I can't get help from any doctors, and if they do request help, I'm going to have to pay for it completely on my own because my insurance doesn't think a CT scan for someone who's in constant pain is "medically necessary."