Angel9058 Mirtazapine (Remeron) troubles

[Angel7366]

Thanks Basildev.

 

I am on day 7 of my cold turkey reinstatement.

 

Is it normal to feel as bad as I am feeling today - indescribable waves of just horror, agitation, nauseam still unable to eat (have bought some food complement from the chemist)

 

I can't even describe how bad I am feeling. I know my body took a huge shock but am a bit worried I have done some permanent damage.

 

I just don't know what to do. I need reassurance again I guess.

 

Thanks so much

 

Angel

[tezza]

Hi Angel,

 

The fact that you had a good window was a good sign. The windows will get longer and closer together. You are going to stabilize, it may take a while, though.

 

Different people stabilize at different rates. It will get better, try not to worry about that. I've been where you are and so have most of the others, here.

 

It is very scary when you feel that way, I understand.

[Angel7366]

Thanks so much Tezza. My dog just bit me and that was the last straw! Been in floods of tears but will stop now.

 

Thank you so very much for getting back to me.

 

Angel x

[tezza]

You're welcome, Angel... When I first found this site I needed constant reassurance, too. I thought I was going to feel that way forever and that I'd never get better. I was a mess! I think I woulda lost it, if it wasn't for the people, here, telling me it would get better.

[Angel7366]

Yes you are absolutely right Tezza. Bless you for getting back to me

 

Angel

[basildev]

Hi Angel,

 

Yes it is normal.

 

Only when we're caught in a wave, it really feels like we will be stuck there forever. I believe that part of that wave IS those obsessive 'I'll never recover' thoughts.

 

Just hang in there are wait for your next window.

 

It's just around the corner.

[Angel7366]

Just an update on 11 days of reinstatement of Mirt.

 

Quite unfortunately I just had a bad couple of days which can probably be attributable to some particularly strong antibiotics I had to take for a dog bite. These played havoc with my stomach and was suffering so much that the doctor checked the bite which he said was healing well and pulled me off them as I just couldn't tolerate them, on top of w/ds.

 

I am definitely improving slowly - my appetite has returned and I am sleeping well. I am still getting the morning cortisol, underlying agitation, tiredness and feeling blah. GI wise not so great but that could also be because of those antibiotics. I am coping well though by distracting and getting on with life including socially.

 

So am hoping it can only get better.

 

Hope you are all doing well and thanks for being there.

 

Angel

[tezza]

Angel,

 

You sound much better! I'm happy to hear this,

 

Antibiotics can definite upset the GI, you are likely right about where that's coming from.

 

Thanks for the update

[Angel7366]

Thanks Tezza

[basildev]

I'm glad you're feeling better Angel:)

[Angel7366]

Am 2weeks 3 days into reinstatement. I think I feel bit better but am still having awful waves of anxiety, palipitations and feeling bad. My appetite is still not great either although I am sleeping well on the Mirt.

 

I know you have told me it can take some weeks to stabilise but am now beginning to worry that I will never stablise. I really don't want to updose but would welcome your advice as to how I can carry on because, right now, I can hardly do so.

 

Thanks so much

 

Angel

[Angel7366]

I should add that the symptoms do seem to come in waves - parts of the day I feel okayish and even good and I have been making the effort to go out and I have managed to get through the days as I refuse to lay down on the sofa and feel sorry for myself.

[tezza]

Hi Angel,

 

The waves should lessen in severity and get less frequent. I'm sorry you're still struggling, WD is hell!

 

Hugs

[Angel7366]

3 weeks into Mirt reinstatement .... I think my baseline has improved a bit this week but, urghhh, still getting the windows and waves - main symptoms today, woke up in terror of the day and with palpitations - bit nauseous and blah but feeling more awake today than I have been doing lately. Still little appetite and some GI problems.

 

I think I am in for a long haul here!

 

Can someone tell me if my symptoms and timeline are normal?

 

Thanks

 

Angel

[tezza]

There's no normal or not normal when it comes to WD and stabilizing. We are all very unique so everything is dependent on the individual. So, yes, it's normal, if you choose to call it that but you could try tapering a different drug or Mirtazipine at a different time and have completely different results.

 

It's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

[Angel7366]

Thanks Tezza. Today is very challenging but I expect I'll survive it!

[Angel7366]

I am having very severe withdrawals, the worst I have had so far and I don't know what to do. I know if I go to hospital they can't help and will pump me full of more drugs. My chest feels as if it is on fire. I am terrified I am going to suffer more than most because I cold turkeyed a very high dose on which I was not even stable. I am so worried. Can someone please advise me what to do

 

Thanks so much

[Angel7366]

It seems it is a nasty wave but am still suffering very badly from the symptoms.

 

I'm sorry to lean on you so much today but what is your opinion of my reinstating to 15mg? I obviously don't want to but was wondering whether, since the w/ds are so bad, would a rise alleviate them a bit and also hasten the w/d process?

 

Angel

[basildev]

Angel,

 

it can take longer than weeks to stabilise so don't worry - you are DEFINITELY on the right track.

 

I've been stabilising for just over 2 months now and I am slowly getting better. Don't think just because you're not 'better' in 3-4 weeks that you're never going to get better. It takes different times for different people.

 

Hang on!

[Angel7366]

Thanks Basildev. Can w/ds really be this incapacitating? I can normally cope with them but the burning today gave me a shock. My husband measured my blood pressure and it was sky high and have been feeling terrible, terrible. Even my Benzo w/ds weren't as bad as this!

[Altostrata]

Angel, please update your signature. You are taking 7.5mg, correct? Since April 10?

Thank you Tezza. My doctor was over today and reinstated me on 7.5 mg This is before I saw your comment. I should have noted your comment and told him, but it is a difficult situation.

 

I am not feeling great, a bit floaty, out of it and restless. I hope I haven't messed myself up. And although I did not sleep the whole of last night and am tired, am quite wired and a bit nauseous. Do you think this will settle?

 

I hate this Mirtazapine so much

 

Angel

 

What has been your symptom pattern since you've been taking 7.5mg?

[Angel7366]

Hello Alto. I will update my signature tomorrow when I am on the laptop if that's ok.

 

Yes am taking 7.5 mg

 

My symptoms have been:

Nausea

Stomach pains and GI

Agitation

Anxiety

No appetite

Burning chest

Shivering

Suicidal ideations

Palpitations

 

Today:

No appetite

Morning terror

Palpitations (strong)

Chest burning

High Blood Pressure

Feeling terrible

 

The past couple of days have definitely been my worst to the point I don't know how I can carry on.

 

Thank you Alto

 

Angel

[Altostrata]

What has been your symptom pattern over time? Has anything gotten better, and when? What has gotten worse, and when?

[Angel7366]

The appetite increased a little then decreased. My stools have improved in texture a little. The 'foggines' lifted a bit today. Nausea improved.

 

Agitation not so bad. Sleep has been good but not tonight, I am having stomach pains right now and can't settle.

 

Palpitations have increased over the past few days. I have had the chest burning a couple of times but today it was intense.

 

I am feeling worse in myself today more incapacitated. Last week (week 2) I got out and about a bit. Today I couldn't leave the house. No window at all. Maybe it is just a bad day especially with the BP measurement.

 

It is hard to say if there is an overall improvement.

 

Thanks for your concern Alto.

[Altostrata]

It sounds like maybe you're stabilizing. In the meantime, read this about neuro-emotions -- see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/137-neuro-emotion/

[basildev]

Yes, Angel withdrawal can be very rough.

 

Do you keep a daily diary of all your symptoms?

 

That's the only way to know for sure if you're getting better.

 

But as Alto says it does look as though you're stabilizing.

 

Remember that new symptoms can often come up during the process of stabilization so it can feel like you're getting worse. But you have to look at your overall progress.

[Angel7366]

Thank you for saving my life and sanity yesterday! I honestly would never have believed I would get through such a bad day even though everyone has reasurred me it is 'just withdrawals'. Yeuch!

 

I have woken up today much clearer headed and feeling better and even made it to a breakfast meeting I needed to attend, something I could never have envisaged doing yesterday. I honestly thought I would have to cancel ... if I was still alive that is!

 

Thank you so much for your support and wisdom Alto, Tezza and Basildev and anyone else who writes on my thread ... I don't know how I would get through this without it.

 

Angel

[Angel7366]

Can I have your thoughts please. I have been reinstating for almost a month. I know you may say it is early days but still pretty incapacitated. I have had a day where symptoms have lessened but am still suffering quite badly.

 

My main ongoing symptoms are severe chest burning, nausea, palpitations and total lack of appetite. Weight is dropping off me. I am also still having suicidal ideations.

 

My family don't know what to do for me.

 

Do you think I should wait it out and what would be the implications of going up or down?

 

Thanks.

[Angel7366]

Sorry. Ignore me. I know from what everyone has told me this can be very tough for quite a while and there's no quick fix so will continue to hang on.

[Altostrata]

Is the high blood pressure a new symptom? If so, when did it start? How are you measuring it?

[Angel7366]

I don't have the blood pressure kit with me right now as I am in transit. We measured it 2 days ago when it was extremely high and I am always on the low side. This has been a result of the w/ds. I feel as bad and deathly as the other night. My husband is going to try to buy one tonight it tomorrow. In the meantime I think I need to take a beta blocker.

[Altostrata]

Is the high blood pressure a new symptom? If so, when did it start?

 

(Please read my questions carefully and answer them so I don't have to repeat them.)

[Angel7366]

Yes it is a new symptom. It started in the past week I think.

[Altostrata]

7.5mg mirtazapine may be too much for you. It is a noradrenergic, it can raise blood pressure.

 

If I were you, I might try 6.5mg.

[Angel7366]

Thanks for the advice Alto. I think the sleepless night combined with yesterday's flight and bad symptoms may have contributed to the high blood pressure and made me overall worse. Have measured it today and it seems to be normal. The chest burning continues though which is worrying me a lot. I hope it will pass.

 

I think I will continue on this dose and try to stabilise rather than change dose at this stage if you agree.

 

This whole thing seems interminable and to make matters worse my darling wonderful husband who has been a rock through all of this, has come home feeling terrible and says he thinks he has depression. I am blaming myself terribly.

[Altostrata]

It's up to you. You may be sensitized and having adverse effects.