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goldieloc: My Introduction - Trying to stop Lexapro + more :)

goldieloc

By goldieloc
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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

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goldie, how old are you? In middle age, the appearance of floaters is common, they do settle down.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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goldieloc
goldieloc

Hello guys,   I am still alive, barely, but nevertheless alive. This is the only thing that I can say for certain. Many bad things happened since I was away from the site. Shortly after my last pos

goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

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Hi Alto, I am close to 29 now. But never had this issue before, so It might go away. It may also stay and I suppose I should learn to live with it. I am super sensitive to anything right now and tend to develop catastrophic thinking. Yes, It affects me badly right now, but there is no guarantee it should be this bad forever.

 

Damnit, there are people that are almost blind and keep going, I should be able to do this as well. Hey, at least I don't worry so much about my fast heartbeat and neck pain now :)

 

These days I am very depressed and I developed intense anxiety over it, which is not helping my case at all.

 

I will go to have my eyes checked again these days, this time they will dilate my pupils, so they can see all the way back into my eyes

 

I will describe my symptoms and journey so far in my next post as promised, I'm just too busy right now.

 

I want to thank you all again for listening to my troubled thoughts.

 

Helping when knowing you won't receive anything in return is the essence of what makes us human beings. It is greatly overlooked these days in our material society, but know that you are all special.

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

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Suddenly I recall I had the same symptoms the first couple of months I was ever on lex. It happened several times over the period of 2-3 months I think and lasted 20 minutes or so each. I had my eyes checked and nothing was found wrong and was told it could be migraine related. Too bad I did not realize its the side effect of the drug then to stop it all early. Most probably nothing is wrong with your eyes and definitely not going to lead blindness.

 

I'm glad your other symptoms are gone now. I believe this one will go away as well eventually once the brain catches up with the changes.

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

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Thank you, goldie. When you're feeling up to it, you can "pay it forward" (as we say in the U.S.) by lending the knowledge you acquire about tapering to others on this site.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

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Hello,

 

My knowledge about tapering is almost non-existent :) But I will take you all to a nice restaurant if you ever come to Bulgaria.

 

Yesterday I went to a compounding pharmacy, because I want to stop with the cutting of the pills, which everyone say is bad and I agree. I sat down and spoke with one of the pharmacists and he assured me that diluting the pills in water will be very counterproductive as this version of the drug is not uniformly distributed this way. May be that's why I had bad reactions when I tried that in the past.

 

Someone had any positive results with making Cipralex suspension?

 

The version that I have access to looks like this:

 

http://static1.framar.bg/product/20111006124021cipralex.jpg

 

The pill: http://www.pharmer.org/files/images/Cipralex.JPG

 

The eye floaters that I have developed since reinstating are getting worse, I can't concentrate on anything.

I still have very high pulse, can't sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time, terrible neck and pack pain, muscle aches all across the body, can't walk for more than 10 minutes, can't climb stairs, sensitive to light and sounds, pins and needles in my hands and legs, eye twitches.

 

That's why I think is is imperative to reduce the dose. I have ordered a digital scale 0x001g but it hasn't shipped yet.

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

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I am having a total mental breakdown today. I couldn't go through the day and left work with little to no explanation. The problems with my eyes were the final hit that I needed. I sort of managed to function with it for a month, but it's like my willpower is gone from all the stress, the worry and the blobs of goo that I see all day everywhere. I can't seem to find positive perspective about my life at all. People online say that they managed to learn to live with them, but being the perfectionist that I am, I find that impossible. I cried for 2 hours straight, my eyes are so swollen I can barely keep them opened while I write this. At least I hope I will be able to get a little sleep from the exhaustion.

 

I feel so alone, desperate and trapped. I can't live like this, but I can't die either. It's crazy.

 

I try to find my way back, but I can't see how I can live, work and find enjoyment in life with my eyes being this way. The doc said I should learn to live like that, but I don't see how this is possible. Not with someone with obsessive tendencies like me. I always hated imperfections in my paintings and photographs, so I find it

I hate myself for taking these pills, for stopping them, for the reinstatement. When I am outside I see people living their lives around me and it saddens me greatly, even though I know I shouldn't feel this way.

 

I even regret writing this post already, for allowing myself to become this weak.

 

Hopefully you are doing ok, I will most likely delete this post later, as I am not sure if I am helping anyone with it.

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

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Hi Goldieloc, I'm so sorry for the disparate situation you are experiencing! I can assure you I had the exact full set of your thoughts for years! I'm also a extreme perfectionist (cant bear with any item in the house not in perfect place) which I was prond of but eventually after this experience realized its part of the reason I'm here today. I struggled with the regrets, self hatred (of taking this drug recommended by a friend not even a doctor for a headache!). It took me couple years to overcome this negative thoughts and actually I still have it on and off now. What I learned eventually is, these thoughts are very damaging themselves and since I can't die either so I finally learned to accept it. I know it's very very hard. But thinking with a complete different concept that no one in this world deserves any misery especially like this one, and we happened to be one of those. Life is an unpredictable journey to any one including us. What else can we do anyway giving it happened already. I am now ( forced) to be less perfection allowing less neat house, imperfect dress, look, social behavior etc just focusing on pushing through each day. As terrible and unpredictable as our days can be, from I learned from other successful stories, our brain eventually finds a point of stabilizing. I found the experience of mr. Anxious is very inspiring and encouraging if you want to check it out here by searching members of his name. I can send you the link in a separate post.

 

I really hope you find some breaks soon.

Btw. I'm still suffering lots pain and strange uncomfortable sensations every minute but these are the major complains for now.

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

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Mranxious story

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2595-mranxious-3-months-off-effexor-xr-6-years-on/

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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mammaP Newbie

mammaP

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I'm so sorry that you are suffering so badly Goldiloc, I can feel your pain in your post and

wish I could make it better for you. Don't ever regret what you write here, this is your thread and you can

look back on it as time goes on and see the changes that will happen.  It is early days and it will get better,

I know it doesn't feel like it now but it really will get better.  I hope that you get a window of relief very soon.

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

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Thank you guys!

 

I can't find my way right now, but I have no option but to keep on trying. Everything around me is falling apart, physically I am very bad and don't want to get out of bed even though I don't sleep. Everyone that I meet asks me why do I look so bad, why I am so thin etc. I smile like an idiot and say something funny and go away. :)

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

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How are you lately Goldieloc?

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

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Hi Lex,

 

Not good unfortunately. I don't know what I did to deserve all this suffering.

 

Ten days ago I visited an eye doc and she examined me for an hour and said that everything is ok, apart from the specs floating in my eye and I will get used to them in a while. She even said the they are very small to non-existent.

 

Yesterday I decided to go to another ophthalmologist in a state of the art modern eye laser clinic. Quickly into the examination, the doc said that I am having lots of specs and frost in my eyes and that I have what is the initial stages of detachment of the retina in both of my eyes. They said I would have to have laser surgery.

 

Needless to say I am going crazy. I think I will need some sedatives as I am shaking constantly and fear that I will go blind, I can't cope with nothing no more.

Just wish me luck. I don't know if I will be able to get through this. Regards!

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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Petunia Newbie

Petunia

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The fact that you caught this early means that you wont go blind.  The surgery for this is minor and can be done as an outpatient.  Its unusual that you have it in both eyes though.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/retinal-detachment/basics/treatment/con-20022595

 

You haven't done anything to deserve this happening to you, everyone goes through difficult times in life at some point.  You will get through this, one step at a time.  Do let us know how it goes.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

I am very sorry Goldieloc! I completely understand the additional stress this can cause to the already very struggling time.

I don't know about the details of the surgery. I do often worry about interaction between sedation drug used for future surgery and lex. I hope they only need to to numb the local area. I had a tooth filing recently with local numb agent and did not experience problems.

 

I often ask God why I am put into this torture and pray for the end of it. No other options but pushing through each day and hour.

 

I will pray for you and like petu said, it's a minor procedure, shouldn't be a concern.

 

Please let us know how you are doing with the surgery and the situation with lex.

 

Hugs

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks guys, problem is that even if the procedure is successful, I am stuck with these floaters for life, which are really bad right now. However I refuse to believe that things will be like this forever. They can't be.

 

The ophthalmologist that said that I have this problem with my retina was super rude to my eyes and somewhat quick with her verdict. I just had the same test 10 days ago and everything was normal. How can I trust anyone? I am cautious because the clinic that I was in is specialized in laser treatment. They might be just after the money, which is very common here. Tomorrow I will go to have a third opinion, because I have trouble trusting these doctors. It looks like a simple procedure, but shooting a laser in the eye is no joke. They wouldn't make you sign 10 papers beforehand otherwise.

 

I consulted another psychiatrist, but he said that there is no way this can be caused by the meds. They might me the cause and yet I am taking them, because I am afraid.

Cutting and shaving the pills as this version of Cipralex is not soluble in water or other liquids. I have asked 5 pharmacists and they all say that it will be very bad.

I am going outside of my skin and fading day by day. I hope I will have some relieve soon.

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

Hi Goldieloc,

 

It's indeed a tough decision and I am glad you have been cautious. If you remember, I mentioned I had the same floating with one eye in very early stage of my initial lex medication years ago. Eye exam showed nothing wrong and luckily it went away soon. Mine was not constant though. I think it happened several times over the period of couple months. I was nearly blind when it occured.

 

I am still getting the flashing now but a different one. It always happens during sleep all bright shiny moving lighting no black holes. It always wakes me up and usually goes away in a few minutes.

 

The med can do anything to our bodies as I feel including the most ridiculous and incredible ones.

 

On the other hand, if the diagnose by the doc is indeed right, I heard its serious so I hope you take serious and immediate actions to figure out.

 

I'm still suffering all type of random pains, numbness, needling, swelling everyday holding on 4.2 for the past 2 months even with other symptoms under control. How is your other symptoms?

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

goldie, please see a retinal specialist immediately. It sounds to me like you need another opinion before having any kind of operation. Often, when doctors have expensive equipment, they like to use it more than necessary.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hello guys,

 

Yesterday I saw another specialist and they said that I don't need this laser treatment now. Two eye doctors looked at my eyes and said that they don't see nothing out of the ordinary for now.

So for now there are 2 ophthalmologists that said I am ok and one with the super fancy equipment that said I need to have this laser as soon as possible. I am scared out of my mind. I see more and more floaters everyday and I can't sleep at all now. My obsessiveness is back in full force. I am thinking, "What if the doctor with the fancy equipment saw something more","What if the Cipralex is damaging my eyes day after day". What if this, what if that.

I can't sit in front of the pc or tv for more than 30 minutes, my eyes hurt so bad. And I need to go back to work asap, all these doctors cost me so much money.

I have a new symptom, I think it is from the stress. When I lay or don't move my hands, the fingers on both of my hands cramp very badly after 15 minutes and go numb.

I read online that escitalopram can cause these problems with the retina and I am so afraid. I have constant eye pain in both eyes, itchiness. I think I should stop taking it, but I am afraid. It's like I am loosing my mind and little by little.

I should do something, but I don't know what. All these problems started upon reinstatement and I am afraid I brought all this to myself, I can't find any positive perspective about anything in my situation. I think I should stop the medication and supplements, withdrawal from life and hope for the best. Not that my parents will allow me to do that though. We are constantly battling at home, they are starting to lose their patience. My mom wants me to start going to therapy and change medication and start taking something to calm me down, and she might be right. I told her that I want to be dumped in a facility somewhere deep, so I am not burden to anyone no more.

 

regards,

goldie

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I forgot to add that I have a problem with light and reading text, especially on a monitor. I get really lighthheaded and shaky and my head hurts a lot.

I have no other option but to go to work this week. I can barely cope at home, but I can't take a medical leave anymore. Here in Bulgaria in order to have sick leave for more than 2 weeks, I have to be hospitalized. And hospitalized means more bills and mostly more meds. No hospital will keep me if I am unwilling to have meds. :) Oh well :)

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted

It sounds like you are light-sensitive. Please see

 

Light-sensitive? Try blocking out blue light

 

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

 

TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep

 

Computer Program Adjusts Blue Light to Time of Day

 

More about how light stimulation affects our body clocks

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hello Alto,

 

Thank you so much for the links. I think it really is the blue light that affects me the most. The TV menu, with programs/shows and info is very light blue and I feel it is hurting me immediately.

 

However, my vision is very bad right now. Could be from the stress, sleep deprivation, muscle tensions and all, but it is around 3 times worse than when I initially stared to complain about it here, couple of weeks ago. The eye doc and neurologist that I saw yesterday said that the antidepressant might be worsening my eyesight and that I need to stop it altogether, but I am afraid how exactly should I do it. The psychiatrist that I went to see said, "fix your eyes first, we can't make progress like that", the ophthalmologists say "Talk to your psychiatrist and stop the pills!", noone knows what to do with me.

 

May be it really is time to stop the medication and bet on holistic approaches. I just don't know how exactly to do it.

 

Thanks again for taking the time to answer me.

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

Hi gold, I was thinking last night about sharing more of my experience of reducing lex before seeing your last post. I do believe now my increase of lex from 2.7 to 4.5 brought up lot more and severe symptoms after holding on 2.7 for one year. I tried to reduce from 4.5 to 3.7 it hit me real bad. So I went back to 4.5 then tapered very slowly to 4.2 over a month then holding on 4.2 for 1+ month since then, which stopped some of the major symptoms like heart failure, lighting, etc although I'm still experiencing lots others lick headache, brain cloud, head numbness. I also found my vision is getting worse everyday.

 

Assuming (highly likely) the lex is doing the harm to your vision, cold turkey the med most probably will cause set of withdrawal problems as you have been on 2.5 for a while. It did to me even I was on the 4.5 very short before I tried to go down initially.

 

I know you can't have liquid which makes it hard to taper in small reduction. There is no other options now but trying to taper as accurately and slowly as possible. I am very sensitive to even 0.05 reduction. You will know how fast you can do it and hope you are not as sensitive as I am.

 

Hugs

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

How are you doing Goldieloc?

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • 3 weeks later...
goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hello guys,

 

I am still alive, barely, but nevertheless alive. This is the only thing that I can say for certain.

Many bad things happened since I was away from the site. Shortly after my last post I become severely depressed and suicidal due to the problems with my eyes.

 

I am not sure if there is any hope for me left, but I should continue the struggle, I don't want to live anymore, but I owe it to my parents. I managed to get access to a pc and write an update. It might help someone after all.

 

So to the story, I became suicidal and was constantly researching the best way to do it. When my folks found out after a week I was sent to a clinic. I was put on many antipsychotics, antidepressants, antiseizure drugs, I don't even know. Nothing was helping, at least I got some sleep from the heavy sedatives. For 10 days I was getting worse and worse and somehow I was able to convince my parents that the only way to be better will be to get out of there. I promised that I will not end my life regardless of how desperate I was. I went to many many doctors and noone knew what to do to help me, I spent thousands on appointments with psychiatrists, neurologists, holistic doctors, miracle healers and I continued to get worse. I have developed some problems with the nerves on my neck and spine and currently take some antiinflammatory drugs, some over the counter painkillers and vitamins.

 

At least I was able to get out of the clinic as they were messing me up even more. I am still severely desperate and depressed, but I am trying to find a little hope.

I lost my apartment, I lost my job, I lost my drive to live. I live with my parents now, who I thing are as equally as tired as I am.

 

I went to many eye docs and they said that I have these problems with my eyes, but can't see why I am so bothered by them and see them even in near dark. Some said it might be due to the SSRIs which surprised me, as most docs thought that I was crazy for mentioning this.

 

Right now I am in the so-called withdrawal Hell:

- I don't sleep

- I lie the bed in agony almost all the time, all my muscles are stiff and hurt all the time.

- I have pain in my neck and back

- I have pulsating headache

- I have strong pain in my eyes and eyesockets that comes and goes

- My eyes are filled with crap (floaters) and nobody knows why I keep getting worse.

- I am extremely photophobic, I should avoid any light and stay in the dark like a vampire. I don't watch TV, use computers or read anything. Travel during the night is also very hard as traffic lights cause me so much discomfort I feel physical pain from the light.

- I am very constipated, even that I take laxatives I am able to go like once a week that's crazy

- I have constant noise in my ears. Super sensitive to the lightest noises (Yeah, it is strange, I hear the noise and I am still super sensitive)

- My sinuses are swollen

- I have a constant need to move when I am still.

- My skin is itching when I want to rest.

- When I don't move laying, standing or sitting, my hands and feet are cramping real bad and hurt. Especially bad If I lay on my back.

- I have a very high pulse, I am almost unable to make anything that is more demanding physically

- I have jaw pain- upper and lower. My teeth are desintegrating. I spit little pieces, I guess that's from the nerves.

- I might add that my genitals are dead, but I don't feel it is really important, considering the whole mess.

 

Mental symptoms:

- depression

- obsessive thoughts

- anxiety and panic

- even the slightest stimulation leads to panic and discomfort.

- very sensitive to stress

 

Positives:

 - I am still alive :)

 

I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I am in severe pain constantly and my willpower is gone. They want to put me on medication again and I would do it if it will help, but I am not sure, I don't know how it would help to give me positive outlook on my life.

 

Sorry for the long post, but I don't know when I will be able to get access to a pc again as I constantly research my symptoms and this is very bad for me now. Not to mention the pain in my eyes.

 

Wish me luck, if anyone has been through something similar and emerged on the other side, feel free to give me some hope.

1

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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bubble Rookie

bubble

Posted
  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted

Dear Goldie,

 

I'm very happy to hear from you! I was thinking about you and wondering what was happening. Thank you very much for sharing. I know we haven't been able to do much to help you but we are here. I have known periods of agony, several of them. They lasted long but there was, there is life after them. At that time I thought I could never again feel anything positive and that I was damaged for good, Humpty Dumpty that nobody would ever be able to put together again. But I did get better.

 

I'm so sorry for everything you have been through over the last month and what you are still going through but I'm very hapyp that you are again with us.

 

I wish I could do more but all I can do is to send you some positive energy and let you know that we are thinking about you and believe in your recovery.

 

hugs,

Bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Rhiannon Rookie

Rhiannon

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Posted

Goldie, if you get the chance, spend some time on Beyond Meds. Monica was as ill as you, at one time (when I first met her) and over the years she has healed beautifully. It took a while and she's still not 100% but she is happy, contented, and still healing. 

 

And she was definitely incredibly ill, bedbound for years.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

Hi Goldieloc, I am glad hearing you again! I have been thinking of you all the time and looking for your update everytime I log on (every day).

 

I am so sorry things got even worse for you! I can totally feel your pain as I have lots of what you have and suffer 24/7 severe pain, numbness, pressure, swelling all over (head, face, nose, ear, jaw, neck, shoulders, back) plus random mental confusion and blackout. I tapered from the initial incresed dose (from 3.7-4.5 with severe reaction) of lex 2.5 months ago and now on 4mg. What I learned since this round of taper is, changing dose (up or down) and adding more drugs makes things worse in unpredicble ways and the only way out is slow taper (other wise we stuck in another hell of withdrawl). I learned this new concept of slow taper from here the following topic. and this is so far I found the only hope to be out of this tragedy. My plan is to do a 1% reduction every 2 weeks for 7+ years to be lex free. Rhi shared her excellent experience of the micro taper being close to symptoms free and very encoraging!

 

I wnt you to know you are not alone and we need to hang in there for each other for this incredible jorney!

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2364-the-slowness-of-slow-tapers/

 

hugs!

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

Oh, are you still on any meds currently?

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • 2 weeks later...
LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

Hi Gold, How are you lately? I have been thinking of you all the time and hoping you are seeing some lights!

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • 6 months later...
goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
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Posted

Hello guys,

 

Sorry I've been away for so long, but the last 7-8 months were pure hell and writing on an internet forum was an impossible task for me.

 

You can check my history in the previous posts. I tapered too quickly and my nervous system became heavily decentralized. I will go into details about my physical simptoms below.

 

I had tapered Lexapro for 3-4 months and once the withdrawal hit me, it only got worse and worse with the time.

 

The biggest mistake that I made was the reinstatement of the drug, it completely threw off my nervous system. I was scared from reading all these stories and everyone was saying that the "side effects" will pass and I should stick with the reinstatement and though it out. Each day I got worse until I wasn't able to work and go outside at all. I was off all meds and very ill. This lasted for 3 months and I was a mess.

 

- I couldn't sleep for a month

- I developed strong light sensitivity and a myriad of eye floaters

- Constipation that lasted 6-7 months

- Very strong pain behind my eyes and at the back of my head

- All of my muscles were aching and I was very tired

- Tinnitus

- Heat and Cold intolerance

- Superhuman hearing

- Shivers, Brainfog, Depression

- My teeth started to erode

- Insane heartbeat(120-160bpm), Hyperventilating, Problems with Balance and speech

- I couldn't stay up, all I could do was lay in bed.

- I couldn't watch TV, use PC or read anything, my visual cortex was struggling

 

More time passed and I wasn't getting better. I was in a very dark place mentally and dreaded every single minute that I was awake. My folks were very worried for my life and I was admitted in the Psychiatric section of one of the best hospitals in the country.

 

Oh my, I was in for a true horror experience. I was in the hospital for 16 days in which they demolished me totally. I was given meds that may be are banned in half the countries of the world and I was treated like the dirtiest trash. The "Doctors" even convinced my parents in the beginning that I am making everything up and everything comes from my psyche. I felt so scared, angry and most of all - alone.

 

It was like a prison. They wake you with screams to eat breakfast, then after 10 minutes they scream "Medications!" and you should run to take your dose. The drugs had very bad effect on me, but still they forced me to take them. Even with injections. I was given many medications, but the worst was the Haldol. On the first day, I got cross-eyed every time I would close my eyes for a while. When I opened them, I could barely walk in straight line. The food was awful, the rooms, the staff everything was horrible.

 

I was very sick, but I was still myself somewhere deep below. I started to act like I was getting better and started to fake my behavior. After 16 days I was released (I was locked inside for that time) and I explained the situation to my parents. At first they didn't believe me, because as most normal people, you think that the doctors and nurses are there only to help. After they talked to another doctor from the same hospital, they were shocked to find out how things really were in the Psych ward.

 

The withdrawal from the Lexapro, combined with the side effects of the drugs they game me in the hospital, left me a complete vegetable. I was pissing myself or I couldn't pee at all. I was laying in bed for 3 days without eating or going to the bathroom.

 

Then I was taken to a new psychiatrist that was shocked by my condition. We had to do something. I didn't want to take medication again, but I had no choice... I was fading.

 

He gave me his word that he will help me get back on my feet. Of coruse I didn't believe him, but I had no more options left. The fist couple of weeks the side effect were bad, but little by little I started to get better. I was getting out of bad, small walks, a little tv or making dinner. After 3 months I was a different man, i was feeling more and more like myself. I contacted my former employees and they said that I can start working again if I am ready. I was still having problems with my eyes, but I wanted to challenge myself and get out of the hole I was in. The first weeks were very hard, but I slowly got back to the routine.

 

I am not happy that I am taking medications again, but at least I kinda got my life back. As per his recommendation, I won't change medications and doses for at least 1-2 years, so I can stabilize. I am deadly afraid of another taper, but I will think about it when the time comes.

 

Off the tens of doctors, psychiatrist, neurologists, eye doctors etc, he was the only one who was listening when I was talking without prejudging.

 

I am still not recovered and I am definitely not the same guy I was before the whole thing.

 

- Unfortunately my eyes were left light sensitive and the floaters are still there. I just try not to get upset with it much and concentrate on other things. I can still see, right?

- There are some hormonal issues that make my skin and scalp very oily. It is awful.

- I still have problems with constipation

- Major loss of sex drive, no genital sensitivity and anorgasmia.

- I am very apathetic and lose concentration very quickly.

- I have very low energy and I gained weight.

 

Basically this is where I am now. Recovering and hoping for the best. I hope for a "miracle", that one day I will be completely healed, but that's a Unicorn that I don't want to think about.

 

Thank you for helping me during my dark times, I hope you will find some comfort and hope in my story.

Feel free to ask me anything.

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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Petunia Newbie

Petunia

Posted
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Posted

Hi Goldie,

I'm glad you posted to let us know how you are. I'm so sorry for what you went through, it sounds awful, but I'm happy you are ok and getting better now. If you need to be on medications for now, then that's what you need, the important thing is that you are still with us and getting your life back on track.

 

I'm glad you have a doctor who you trust.

 

What medications are you taking now, if you could update your signature, that would be great. While you were away, we had someone else from Bulgaria join, its not often we have members from your country Bluebalu86 is from there.

 

Petunia.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hi Petunia,

 

Right now I am on 225 mg Effexor, Abilify 15mg 1/4, Lamictal 100mg. This is the full dosage that I gradually got to.

 

It would be an understatement to say I HATE these meds, but I would lie if I say they didn't help me get my life back. If you see me now and just 4 months ago, you wouldn't believe the difference.

 

I just pray to the universe that my brain and nervous system will take it well in the long run, who knows.

The only thing I do know is that I lost almost an year in withdrawal and now I am functioning member of society. If taking the meds is the price that I have to pay, I am willing to do it.

 

It might sound that I have given up on the idea of stopping, but I haven't.

You just never know to what extend your nervous system might affect your whole existence. When you do,you understand that you have to make compromises.

 

Best wishes!

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

Hi Goldieloc,

 

My goodness, I was so excited immediately to see your name from my email notification! You have been on my mind all the time ever since your last post and I have been so concerned about you!

 

I'm so happy, so happy to hear you again and knowing your won the terrifying battle (in a way) and got back to us! Thank you very much for updating!!

 

I always think what I went through in the past 8/9 months after increasing the dose was one of the worst, but I know yours was much more horrifying. You are incredibly strong and I admire you! I'm glad you are in a complete accept ion of the situation which is the first step of proper healing!

 

Please continue updating us here whenever you can. I have been doing a super slow tapering of less than 1% cut every 3 weeks and things are bad but manageable. Our situation and symptoms was very similar so feel free to ask me questions if you feel it may help.

 

Sending love and hugs.

Lexanger

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hi Lex,

 

Thank you so much for the kind words :) I am doing okay, still have the windows and waves, but the windows are more than the waves.

I am having some problems with irregular heartbeat/palpitations and I guess some hormonal issues as my scalp becomes very oily very fast.

I am getting the occasional dizzy spell, but nothing major.

 

I am very grateful that I am able to function again, a little angry that I am still on meds, but it is what it is. At least now I know what to expect and how to do it if/when I decide to stop again.

 

Will keep you posted!

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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  • 5 weeks later...
LexAnger Rookie

LexAnger

Posted
Posted

How are you doing lately, Goldieloc?

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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goldieloc Newbie

goldieloc

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hi Lex,

 

I'm doing well, still have some issues, but I try not to concentrate on the problems and be busy.

I am starting to do some light exercises from time to time, to lose the weight that I gained during the time I was in bed all the time.

Working and trying to enjoy life. Most of the times I succeed.

 

Am I perfectly fine? Hell no, I don't think I am the same person that I was, before all this happened. But I am OK and I am grateful for everything. Sometimes I get really angry about the whole situation, but it is not worth it, bad feelings won't get me anywere.

 

Hope You are doing ok as well :)

2004 - I was put on Lexapro 10mg. After year and a half I felt good and stopped it abruptly with no problems.
2006 - I relapsed after highly stressful time at university. I was put on Anafranil (Clomipramine) 2x25mg per day. Stopped abruptly after 8 months, no withdrawal.
2008/2009 - crashed again due to highly stressful work environment. I was put on 2x75 Effexor and was told not to stop this time.
2013 - Went to a new doctor and was put on Celexa 20mg, didn't affect me well after 3 months, switch to Anafranil 2x25 for 3 more months, I was not getting better. Changed doctors again and was put on Lexapro 30mg/daily.
2014 - After 8-10 months on 30mg per day I decided that I wanted to try alternative methods as 10 years of medication led to nothing. Started decreasing 30-25-20-15-10mg changing the dose every 2-3 weeks. No withdrawal until jump from 10-5mg. I couldn't stay still, shaking constantly, muscle pains, vertigo, vision disturbances for 2 weeks. After a month and a half I felt well and went from 5mg to 0.

28 July 2014 - Stopped Lexapro. 6 days after the physical sympoms started, got better with B-Complex and Omega fish oils. 2 weeks after off the drug the anxiety and panic attacks started and progressed with the time. After 5 weeks I decided that something is wrong , searched for help/answers and arrived here.

4/Sept/2014 reinstated on 5mg. Too much for my sensitized CNS. Next day tried 2.5mg, a bit better. Problems with constant shaking, muscle twiches and trouble falling asleep.
25/Oct/2014 Still at 2,5 mg, Muscle pain & cramps, Insomnia, Eye problems (Light sensitivity, Eye dryness, Many eye floaters), Anxiety, Very sensitive to sounds, High heart rate, depression Oct-Dec 2015 no medication

Jan/2015 - now | New  Effexor 225mg, Abilify, Lamictal 100mg, feeling good, won't be making changes anytime soon.

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