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Shamanic healing


Ssriwarrior

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I would like to add to this thread periodically as I try to compile some experiences I have had on the quest for healing.  

 

Shamanism is an ancient tradition that has been practiced across cultures and time.  There has never been a time on Earth when Shamanism was not practiced, it is just that it hasn't been very popular in the west due to organized religion.  Basically, it is a spiritual practice that reconnects us back to the elements of nature.  And hinges on the philosophy that everything has a spirit.  

 

And I wouldn't have believed this part, had I not experienced the profound effects of the practices myself...but shamanism also is built on the notion that our physical reality is not the only reality.  that there is also what's called "non ordinary reality" or a spiritual dimension to life.  there is an underworld, middle world, and upper world.  and each of these levels is home to different spirits and helping guides who want to assist us and support us in life.  sounds crazy, right?!  :)  

 

will type more soon...

 

 

HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years)

Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg  02/14; 5mg  04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14;

 

Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg;  05/01/15  6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg

 

2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg;  02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml  05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg 

 

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I find shamanism to be a really wonderful window to use to understand much of my experience too.

 

I have a collection of links on shamanism and mental health here that might be of interest.

 

The Shamanic-like nature of consciousness

http://beyondmeds.com/shamanism/

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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  • 1 month later...

I pray ever day my guides are with me... If not I fear I am truly all alone. I'm considering finding a shaman to do some soul retrieval- I feel like I have lost part of myself in this mess.

Diagnosed bi-pollar II in 2003 at age 15.

Lithium, lexapro and seroquel for the next 8 years, with occasional klonopin.

Quit seroquel cold turkey in 2011.

1st unsuccessful attempt to stop ALL meds cold turkey- 2012

Switched to lithium, citalopram and adderall (only on adderall for a few weeks).

Cold turkey off EVERYTHING Feb 2014.

 

Previous symptoms; crying spells, suicidal depression and hopelessness (3 months). Frequent urination and chocolate, allergy medicine and food sensitivities (3 months). Body pain radiating through my spine, legs, arms and butt followed by muscle stiffness, weakness and tingling/loss of feeling (7 months). Brain zaps, head aches and intense depersonalization. Fight or flight upon waking and difficulty sleeping (2 months). Difficulty regulating body temperature-incredibly cold hands and feet (8 months). Diarrhea and difficulty eating (lost over 30 pounds). Acute and itchy acne? on my forehead, cheeks and chest (7 months). 

 

Current symptoms: anxiety, obsessive compulsions, feeling stuck/unable to act/shocked, pain along my spine, hair loss, easily stressed and overwhelmed, difficulty with social situations, generally moody. 

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I pray ever day my guides are with me... If not I fear I am truly all alone. I'm considering finding a shaman to do some soul retrieval- I feel like I have lost part of myself in this mess.

 

Do you still feel the presence of your guides? 

 

Most of my life I've felt that there have been protective, guiding beings surrounding me, but since going into withdrawal, I feel like I've been totally abandoned, I can't figure out if this is good or bad.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • 3 months later...

I am very much interested in Shamanic principles, which in essence, have harmonizing interconnections with Pure Consciousness. No idea how to connect to a guide of some sort. It's as if these chemicals create a barrier between Self and nature.

Current Meds:

Klonopin 1.9 mg (anxiety /insomnia) 10 years, began taper then stopped. Currently forced to drop to 1.5 mg.

Remeron 7.5 mg (insomnia, nausea, GI issues) stopped taper

Propylthiouracil 25 mg (for Graves')

 

Past Meds:

Lexapro 10 mg, CT 1.5 years ago without researching. Taken for 9 years.

Trazadone 300 mg (insomnia), lowered BP, suffered vasovagal syncope, a fall required surgery for dental trauma.

Propranolol, 10 mg, during hospitalization for hyperthyroidism, 3.5 weeks, then switched to Cartia for 3 weeks. Dr C/T both.

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Not sure if this is the correct thread to post this, but I'd like to share something I found recently.

 

There was a man who lived in Germany who was called Bruno Groening. He was a spiritual healer and he helped many people heal from different illnesses. He said that everyone can experience the healing force in the universe (he called it Heilstrom) with the correct attitude and tuning in to the force (he called that Einstellen). If you're interested in his teachings you can find a lot of information about him on Google. There is also an organization called The Bruno Groening Circle of Friends that has branches all around the world. I know there is one in Bulgaria. I will be trying to do Einstellen daily in an attempt to receive the healing energy, Heilstrom. 

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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I find interesting that some Shamanic healing ceremonies involve the use of Ayahuasca , which is psychotropic/hallucinagenic.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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I've read stories by people who claim they were healed from life long anxiety and depression with Ayahuasca. 

I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.
Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.
Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.
Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.
Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.
December - things getting even worse.

January - unbearable suffering

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So have I but it can be really bad for central nervous system..

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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just about everything can be good or bad. I know several people who found Ayahuasca to be life-changing in a positive way. 

 

I would also NEVER recommend it for any of us who have seriously injured nervous systems...because yes, it has the potential to gravely harm as well. 

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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Be very careful with this one.  See below..

 

 

 

"...And though many prospective ayahuasca-takers – people likely to have been prescribed antidepressants – struggle with addiction and depression, few shamans know or care to ask about antidepressants like Prozac, which can be deadly when mixed with ayahuasca."

Read more: http://www.mensjournal.com/magazine/the-dark-side-of-ayahuasca-20130215#ixzz3ZfYIgQBJ 
Follow us: @mensjournal on Twitter | MensJournal on Facebook

1992 - began with prozac and tried SO MANY others that I have little recollection of dosages and taper/withdrawal details.  It's all a blur!

Here's my recent history:

12/08 - current 10mg Ambien, .5mg Klonopin (as needed…sporadic)

12/14 - 20mg Paxil 

02/15 - 10mg Paxil, 20mg Celexa     

04/15 -  d/c Paxil, 10mg Celexa

5/15   - 5mg Celexa   

Currently - 0mg Celexa, 10mg Ambien, .5mg Klonopin

Pros/Cons:

Pro - I am off Ads for first time in 20 years, yea!

Con - I am going through hell, boo!  

 

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Only a portion of shamans use substances. Many work with drums, rattles, or dancing to alter consciousness.

 

Everything has it's place. It's a matter of timing, having the right person or group to work with, and trusting what you need at the time.

 

I have never worked with ayahuasca, but have journeyed with other substances (but not anytime around wd). Some of those experiences were life-changing for me...I've also done holotropic breathwork, which is a non-drug way of encountering the same states that would arise with substances. Also not something I'd recommend to anyone with a sensitized nervous system..and would question its use with people who have early trauma as well.

 

I used to seek out those big experiences more, wanting there to be something that could really change things..I've come to realize that for me, a stick of dynamite is a poor choice. I'm much better doing practices that every day connect me, that teach me, and help me live more in this realm, rather than another. Things that are more gentle, which in many respects are as effective..minus the big risks of working in big ways.

 

I did some shamanic training a few years ago, and worked a lot with that early in wd. I found it helped me find the things I needed to support myself..and also helped me to open to some of the more difficult emotions and sensations. I set it aside for awhile, because there was a period where I just could not connect to anything when I journeyed..I'm feeling it might be a time to bring it back into my life again. No drugs involved..just drumming, rattling, and chanting.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • 2 months later...

I wanted to share the information on this event. It's happening starting today for several days. Talks are available to listen to within 24 hours after they have first aired. A number of well-known Shamanic teachers are presenting:

 

A FREE ONLINE SERIES
August 4-6, 2015

Join an unprecedented gathering of teachers and healers from around the planet to journey into the heart and soul of shamanic practices — and discover insights, principles and rituals for personal and collective transformation.

 

http://shamanismsummit.com/

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • 2 months later...
  • Moderator

Pretty cool.  I am going to have to read more about shamans.  And ayahuasca.  I can't imagine that a homeopathic amount would hurt me.......but still.........cautious, and trust issues............

 

The one who arrived in my life is an army vet........once had a diagnosis of PTSD.  Just his stories are fabulous and also sad.  Like when he went to the VA, and then later had to say goodbye to his friends there.......who of course were still there but weren't, as they were all heavily medicated.  They didn't even remember him.

 

I think I should give him a call........as it is (anti) Columbus day here in the States, although.......what could I say?

 

I would like to add to this thread periodically as I try to compile some experiences I have had on the quest for healing.  

 

Shamanism is an ancient tradition that has been practiced across cultures and time.  There has never been a time on Earth when Shamanism was not practiced, it is just that it hasn't been very popular in the west due to organized religion.  Basically, it is a spiritual practice that reconnects us back to the elements of nature.  And hinges on the philosophy that everything has a spirit.  

 

And I wouldn't have believed this part, had I not experienced the profound effects of the practices myself...but shamanism also is built on the notion that our physical reality is not the only reality.  that there is also what's called "non ordinary reality" or a spiritual dimension to life.  there is an underworld, middle world, and upper world.  and each of these levels is home to different spirits and helping guides who want to assist us and support us in life.  sounds crazy, right?!   :)  

 

will type more soon...

 

He did tell me about the upper world and lower world and middle world.........with his hands........and I noticed the upper was lower and lower was upper.  And then there are elements........fire, water, wind.........hmmmmmm.......probably one more?

 

2022 May- continuing with limited activity on site, just something I need to do right now

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Interesting thread! I have also read lot of about shamanism. When I was on Sertraline I try mushrooms few times. On my first trip I finally realized that stones, trees and everything got soul within. I realize that fact when I looked into mirror: I saw my skin but not a soul. Then I thought stones: I see just surface of stone but how dare I be so sure that there is not spirit inside? I started to cry because I was so happy. After the first mushroom trip I bought shamanistic books. Unfornately I lost my interest in everything (even in shamanism) when I quit Sertraline. I know facts of shamanistic worldview but I want to feel those facts personally again. Maybe it will be possible if I became to feel more emotions and pleasure again.

 

I like to try mushrooms again but I know that it is not a good idea because my nervous system is in too weak state at the moment. Maybe it is time to start find drumming guide.

I'm not a native english speaker, sorry!

 

My history with Sertraline:

 

November 2009 - September 2013: most of the time my dose was 100 mg but when I stoped taking it first time my dose was 25 mg.

 

Unfornately I decided to start taking Sertraline again in April 2014. My new dose was 50 mg.

I took my last pill of Sertraline in November 2014. Then my dose was 25 mg.

 

Symptoms: PSSD, anhedonia and emotional anesthesia

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Earth.  Earth is the 4th element.  How could I forget Earth!!!

2022 May- continuing with limited activity on site, just something I need to do right now

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • Moderator

I was "Harner method" trained in the 90's.

 

A few helpful tips - it's good to have someone with you when you journey, even if it is just for a couple of minutes.  I used to have this in the US, as I had a friend who took the course with me, and we both "trained" others who were so inclined.  The Harner method claims to have studied shamanic traditions worldwide and condensed them into simple teachings (but richer, more intense practice) that can be easily explored.

 

Upper, Middle Lower, were, for us = Up, mid and below.   This might vary for cultures, but the 3 are pretty widely used.  Upper is for contacting "the gods," angels, spirits of a higher nature.  Those to whom we aspire.  Middle world is for solving current problems, looking in on people, distance healing, and contacting ancestors.  Lower world is for animal and plant spirits who have messages for you.

 

It is recommended to start with the lower world to get training and experience before attempting the other 2.

 

The "inducement" should be repetitive, unchanging - the beat similar to a Theta rhythm (binaural beats can do this).  BUT - the advantage of having someone drum for you - is they can see when you are ready, and give a signal to bring you back.  It is much easier to transition with this signal to return - and the safety of knowing it will be there allows you to go more deeply into the state.

 

I hear what you are saying Free about here and now consciousness.  If you are present with that, all the symbols and information you need will come to you just fine.  No need to seek out "other" experiences.

 

I see shamanic symbolism as archetypes - not "other worlds."  I see them as symbols, means to give our unconscious and subconscious minds a way to communicate with us, to tell us what we need, how to heal ourselves, how to be better people.  

 

All the shamanic journeys in the world are not worth squat unless you can "bring them back," record them, track them, follow them, write them down, and apply them to your life.  Otherwise, they are just pretty pictures/feelings/sounds/sensations.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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it's not possible to have companions if you journey 24/7 and I do...that's been my healing trip...for better or worse...   :P

 

there doesn't have to be hard and fast rules...the otherworld is right here and it meets us as we are cut out to meet it (however you want to understand it...yes, archetypes, too...). It's nice if we have the good fortune of finding folks who can be with us...but in this culture it's often not possible. It wasn't for me for many years.

 

I had the great honor of meeting with Malidoma Some recently...he's wonderful. If you've not seen this post I shared a while back it's worth taking a look. 

 

What a Shaman Sees in A Mental Hospital

http://wp.me/p5nnb-7ym 

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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  • Moderator

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and wisdom.  It just seems that so much is coming at me now.........different stuff........

I think I need to take a few steps backward yet I will still be ahead from where I was before.  Not sure ahead is the best word..........just one of those days.

2022 May- continuing with limited activity on site, just something I need to do right now

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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I just saw this lecture from Will Hall on Shades of Awakening, on Psychosis and Spirituality.  This may be time sensitive - but I think his lecture will just slide down the page over time.  Right now, it is the first one on the page:

 

http://www.shadesofawakening.com/monthlylive/#sthash.OtYaALsP.dpbs

 

and yeah, Gia - having a partner for this - well, that's a luxury now, isn't it? I was lucky to be in a community when I was learning this stuff!  It is helpful, and darned good - but if it were essential, we'd never check on "otherworld" (or whatever name you wish to call it) consciousness, eh?  I now use recordings of drumming or chanting and just go for as long as need be.  That's the journeying, but I think what I'm hearing from you and Free is the everyday awareness of the spirit, the life, around us, and being receptive to what the messages are.

 

Receiving information from random twigs and leaves on the ground

Communing with the flight and song of birds

Who has come into your life today? (plant and animal encounters)

That feeling / intuition which guides your choices

Finding meaning along your path

 

All of these are shamanism - but I guess, like with meditation - I believe it helps to have a practice to cultivate and honor and bless the information  / knowledge as it comes.  For those of us who have a "window to the otherworld" (called by medical folks as "psychosis") open all the time, then the practice would be more to honor what comes through, and learn when and how to open, and when and how to choose to look away from the window in order to function in "ordinary" or consensual reality.

 

For awhile, my practice was styled after Native American Pipe ceremony - I was initiated by a white person who shared a red person's pipe, so I'm not a direct initiate.  But I adapted it, and welcomed the 7 directions (East/Air, South/Fire, West/Water, North/Earth, Above/Father, Below/Mother, Within/Spirit) with my pipe as a ritual, a ceremony to open myself and welcome all of the possible elements of otherworld into my life.  I brought my pipe to Australia - but when I prayed here, it was as though the plants and spirits didn't understand, and I couldn't connect.  Australia is a very different landscape, shamanically, and I've glimpsed it - but for me - it is deep and ancient and I am not near ready to approach it.  But that's just ceremony - I still have regular practices - like my journeys before sleeping - that keep my shamanism alive.

 

Then, everything is practice, right?  My coloring books are practice.  My reading is practice.  My walks around the neighborhood are practice.  My interactions with my cat (she's not as shamanic as my last cat) are practice.

 

Now I am going to find out about the pheasant coucal whose company we have been enjoying of late....  (rare birds, tougher to interpret!)

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator

I had another nice talk with the shaman. 

 

It went like this..........MMT:  asks all these highly analytical, intellectual questions to clarify concepts and words used.  Shaman:  answers yes.

 

My laughter is less cynical/sarcastic lately........just more often pure joy.

 

Definitely a part of breaking the chain that has existed through time........starting with my forebears way back when............

 

I can't wait to find my Emu.......referring to birds above..........meanwhile the ones in back are quite active year round and now so visible too.  I am not certain where the deer have gone........my regular visitors of spring/summer seem to have moved on a bit.........I do hope they are protected.......I believe they are wise enough and hiding until hunting season is over.

2022 May- continuing with limited activity on site, just something I need to do right now

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • 7 months later...
  • Moderator

MMT you can be your own shaman.  You don't need to go to another to get this information, in fact, it is more valid when you get it for yourself, IMO.

 

If Emu it is, how can you cultivate emu?  Emu is about attentiveness, attention.

 

Pay attention.  The chances of you running into an emu in the wild are pretty slim, but the symbol of the emu is many places where I am.

 

Why Emu?  Pay attention.  What you feed with your attention, is what will grow.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Thanks. 

 

Sounds good........

 

Perfect......  "Pay attention.   What I feed with my attention, is what will grow."

 

Just the bronze statue nearby.......but I will resume my quest to find some........as far as the Emu's go.

 

I am finally writing more and recording anyway.........this being receptive to what the messages are............focus, attention to........recording may help me find the meaning.

2022 May- continuing with limited activity on site, just something I need to do right now

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I saw a shaman for an ayahuasca ceremony in Ecuador, a couple of years before I went on Prozac. The ayahuasca had no effect on me, although others in my group who'd drunk from the same bowl had hallucinations and vomited. It was quite disturbing though - the shaman spoke Spanish and my Spanish is awful, but afterwards someone said that the shaman had said I was bad, or had a bad spirit or something, while he was shaking stick/reed things over me. After the experience I went on to be quite reckless in my behaviour and with drinking/drugs, but whether it was linked I don't know. 

It's not something I think about much, but when i do I wonder why he was talking about me being 'muy malo' (the only 2 words I caught!) and it makes me feel a bit uneasy. 

2002 - Prescribed fluoxetine 20mg for mild situational depression and anxiety. Over the years also briefly swapped about on citalopram, sertraline and venlafaxine during poop out. 2012 - Cold turkeyed fluoxetine. Within 3 months was suffering from aggression, anxiety, panic attacks and paranoia. GP put me back on tablets as I was 'relapsing'. I didn't know anything about WD then. Jul 15 - Wanted to quit fluoxetine again so tapered off (skipping doses) over 6 weeks under advice of GP. Aug 15 - Last fluoxetine dose end of August 2015. Dec 15 - Had my first real crash after discontinuing. Found this site. Aug-Dec 16 - Signed off work because of a herniated disc & severe sciatica. Prescribed diazepam (took for 6 days and got WD symptoms on stopping; nausea, morning cortisol spikes, anxiety, anger) and codeine which I was on for 4 mths. Can confirm - opiate WD is nasty but nowhere near as bad or prolonged as SSRI WD!
Withdrawal symptoms have included: extreme anger and irritability, lethargy, depression and weepiness, anxiety, stomach upsets, loss of appetite, excessive sweating, muscle and back pain, insomnia, cortisol surges, akathisia, inability to cope with stress.
Things that help: herbal tinctures (rose, lemon balm, chamomile and skullcap), seaweed baths & epsom salt baths, fish oil and magnesium.

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I'm sorry to hear of your experience keepinghope, but I'm certainly glad you shared it here to keep people aware that not all ayahuasca experiences are "love and light and peace and oneness with all creation."

 

First of all, a proper experience would involve a 7 day fast, drinking the healing herbal potion the shaman makes for you.  You are isolated, in your hut - no contact with anyone except for the healer and his helpers who check up on you.

 

Amazing things have happened, but if you are not spiritually prepared, it can be disastrous.  i have a fantasy that I would like to do it someday, it's not dissimilar to some of the practices I did when younger.  But when you look forward to days of solitude in a jungle full of snakes, mosquitoes, and language barriers - and fasting, and drinking (possibly nasty) herbal preparations - then 

 

The trip itself of vomiting and hallucinating - and sure, maybe God will talk to you - but maybe he won't, and the hole of disappointment could be a greater risk than you anticipated.

 

Add in the random element of withdrawal, and I think - maybe as an absolute last resort, I might go to the jungle.  (but even now, as I think about it I wish I could take someone with me!)

 

There are substances which are allies, which help you connect to other spirits.  It might be lavender, it might be lactium.  It might be socially acceptable, it might not be.  (and substances, in withdrawal, are always a risk, too).

 

Even the trance of chant is difficult for me - if I find myself going into extended Alpha in chant, I cannot continue.  I don't want to flatten my brain waves.

 

The drum keeps me in Theta, and that is a comfort - a creative place that is safe to let the visions take me where they will, and be creative, and learn and grow.

 

Plus, I lost my voice with thyroid surgery - I don't think I could chant for more than a minute or two. 

 

I got a new drum for my little shaman group!  It's a commercial thing, a Remo Buffalo Drum, with synthetic head - I've been told it is safe to take into sweat lodge (most drums go "mushy" in sweat lodge).  Now - to find a sweat lodge....

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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there are different sorts of ayahuasca ceremonies...many are done in group settings...maybe most actually.

 

and awful **** happens everywhere unfortunately...just as good stuff does too...it's life whether we like it or not. it is very good to be aware of that...

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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Jan Carol, 

 

"now to find a sweat lodge......."

 

I know you can't get here by Sunday but I will be happy to bring you in on the 4th round we do next Sunday or thereabouts.........it's the round where we bring people in and then send out something called inipi, I think.  If I don't make it there this time I can pass it on to someone who will do that.

 

The last lodge there........there was this beautiful what sounded like flute music.........from the whistles........

 

My first experience was definitely not all "love and light" as mentioned.  It sure had it's place in my journey though.......I can see that now.   No ayahuasca substances either, there, here........where I sweat.........don't know much on that but do know, for me, for now.............that would be too, too much........fragile trellis and all that I am.  Oh, not so fragile(bad choice of words).........perhaps re configuring, I think.

 

I  am presently up in the wee hours now and keep forgetting.........my oxcarbazepine dose on time...........something that goes along with each reduction I think.........how weird is that???  Not weird at all I suppose.  Woke up to remember it oh and also to check the final score of that game I was watching.

 

Love, light, open ness, Life,

 

mmt

 

(my signature needs a bit of update.......reminder to self)

2022 May- continuing with limited activity on site, just something I need to do right now

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • Moderator

Inipi means sweat lodge to the Lakota.  

 

I miss my women's sweats, and tribal sweats.  I miss the sauna (my massage therapist had one).  I wish I could put in a sauna (pref infrared), but space, $$$$, power, etc.  

 

I remember in the hippy days, we'd bend some branches and cover with wet blankets and tarps and bring in hot stones from the fire.  It was dark and womblike, and the nearby stream was spring-fed and cold.   We'd go there at dark moon or full moon, or just when we could get it together.  The "lodge" was temporary and was destroyed and rebuilt each time in a similar place.

 

Now it doesn't seem so simple.

 

Now I'm older, and pickier about who I associate with.  I wouldn't go in a sweat with just anyone (and especially not with James Arthur Ray!), and even when I try a group, I may feel affinity with some, but rarely all of the people.

 

Those youthful experiences were so much more flexible than I am now.  

 

I might go to the nearby one - about 30 minutes from here at a place called "Deer Park," and find it is a beautiful facility, with creature comforts (I am too crippled to sit on the ground for long unsupported), and the requisite cool stream for splashing the heat from the body.   I might find all of the things I want from a sweat lodge, and I might show up with women that I know and trust - and still - not enjoy it.  

 

Then there's the chance that the facility might not be nice, it may only have half of what I want from a sweat lodge, I'm not really qualified to "lead" a sweat lodge.  So I would have to attend with others that I do not know in order to build a practice up.  All of this makes me uncomfortable, and while this is my year of challenging "uncomfortable," that one is just beyond me. It's hard enough to drum for a group and ask for their commitment to do it regularly.  (and, sadly, marketing, studio space, money, all the "stuff" that goes with holding a meeting)

 

All we can do is try!  I'm glad you have your Inipi, what a beautiful regular practice to attend!

 

When my monthly group is strong enough, with enough commitment, we might go do a full moon sweat lodge.  It's backwards - we should do the sweat before we do the journeys, purify before asking for guidance.  We do what we can.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 7 months later...

To whom it may concern...

 

From An Ancient Whisper by Karen Alexander

 

“That is my nature spirit,” she answered. “I am healthy and strong because my nature

spirit takes its direction from my natural mind. It is not subject to the attacks that come from the social mind.”

She paused and added, “My nature spirit can do wondrous things. Not only does she take

care of all my physical systems, but she is responsible for making the connections between me and other people.”

“I don’t understand,” I said feebly.

“Just watch.” The cloud seemed to vibrate more quickly, and a beautiful silver thread

came out of it. Gradually, that thread increased its diameter and crept toward me. Afraid, I

leaned backward.

“Don’t be frightened,” Mariah said soothingly. “You’re only seeing what goes on all the

time between one person and another.”

“What is that?”

“It’s a hollow cord made from my nature spirit’s body. As you can see, its energy is more

condensed than that of my other two spiritual bodies. If I concentrate on someone for any period of time, the nature spirit sends out such a cord, and attaches it to that person. That’s one of the ways that energy flows from one person to another.”

As she spoke, the shimmering silver cord made contact with my hand. I was instantly

filled with a wonderful sense of peace and acceptance. “Why does it do that?”

“So that we may understand one another without the need for words,” she answered.

“Without a social mind, I give to you only love and understanding. Unfortunately, the cord will also deliver the contents of an active social mind if the person has not escaped from it.”

“So, once a cord is attached, does it stay there forever?”

“It isn’t meant to,” she replied. “You must understand that your nature spirit does this for

you, whether you request it or not. But it will not disconnect, unless you tell it to do so. It’s very important to sever the ties you have made throughout your day. Otherwise, you will continue to receive the thoughts, feelings and concerns of everyone you’ve connected with.”

Maybe those cords were responsible for many of my sleepless nights. Often, I couldn’t

seem to shut off the events of my day, and the emotions they had generated. I had a sudden flash of insight, “Is that how telepathy works?”

“Yes, it is. It is also how close friends and family members can experience a feeling that

you’re in trouble, or need them to call. What is incorrectly called intuition is often simply a

message being received along one of the nature spirit’s cords.”

I thought about all of the people in the field of human services who had suffered burnout.

Although their hearts were still full of compassion, they had become unable to continue in their professions. They had felt that they were carrying a burden that was too heavy for them to bear.

Maybe their nature spirits hadn’t severed the cords of energy from all of their patients and clients.

If that was the case, they were constantly plugged into the pain of those they tried to help.

“Exactly,” Mariah said. Seeing my surprise at her ability to read my mind, she nodded

toward the cord. “That’s how it’s done.”

In August 2012 I was hospitalised after going through a psychosis. I used to wander around in the hospital in order to cope with everything that went on in my mind. At one point I had a complete black-out and the psychiatrist on duty gave me two injections with clopixal 50 mg, dehydrobenzperidol 5 mg and tranxène 50 mg. I was completely off the world for a whole weekend. After I woke up he prescribed me Invega 6 mg which I used to flush through the toilet. After two weeks I could leave the hospital and over a period of about 4 months I felt more and more terrible up to the point where it felt as if my mind was shutting down and I started losing all coordination. At the end of December I finally decided to be hospitalised again and I was given Invega 3 mg and Lorametazepam 2 mg at my own request. I used to break the Lorametazepam in half just to get me through the night. In May 2013 I tried to stop taking the Invega but I couldn’t cope. It wasn’t until July/August 2015 when I felt both physically and mentally strong enough that I decided to taper off the Invega. As recommended on this website I switched from Invega 3 mg to Risperdal 2 ml. I tapered off by 10% every 2 to 3 weeks. Towards the end I tapered off by 10% every other week when only a few drops were left. In April 2016 I took my last drop of Risperdal. In general I didn’t have any problem falling asleep but it was only for 2 to 4 hours. So I took the Lorametazepam ranging from 0,5 to 1 mg to help me sleep the rest of the night. In July I started taking Lavender tincture to replace the Lorametazepam and it worked out fine but I am sad to say that I take the Lorametazepam again when my mind is very overactive.

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  • Moderator

That is beautiful Morgane!

 

I learned it like this:  different people attach with cords to different parts of your body, your chakras.

 

A cord to your root chakra is someone who is dependant upon you

A cord to your sex  is someone who wants to hook you

A cord to your solar plexus is someone who wants to take your power

A cord to your heart is someone who wants to drain your courage

A cord to your throat is someone who won't let you speak.

A cord to your third eye is someone who obsesses, or drives you to obsess.

A cord to your crown is someone who wants to totally control you.

 

You can go through and visualize clearing them all out - and some of them will be like pulling tree roots - they will be sticky and deep, and you keep pulling and pulling until it's free.  When that's done, you polish your chakras like gems.  I learned this from a book in the 80's called "Motherwit."

 

The people you need in your life - your children, your spouse - will reconnect with you in more pure ways.

 

I also use it with a one-way mirror visualisation exercise.  

 

When someone is trying to control you, or attach to you, or "velcro" or "vampire" or denigrate you, imagine a one-way mirror between yourself and him/her.  

 

Imagine that the words they say, they are saying to themselves (for most people this is true).   When you hear the words, "You are such a loser!" it really hurts.  But when you put the one-way mirror up, you see that the person saying it - is really saying it to themself, and you find compassion for him or her.

 

As you imagine the one way mirror, the harmful words, the words meant to manipulate, do not reach you.  They fall to the floor after they bounce off of the mirror, or they bounce back to the person who said them.

 

It makes it easy to see what is a healthy relationship and what is not.  If you need to put the mirror up all the time to talk to someone, maybe it's time to move on from them.  But imagining the mirror helps you to see them for who they really are.  It helps you separate your issues from their issues, it helps you realize how much of the garbage that is being thrown at you - is not your garbage.  It's someone else's.

 

And it is very freeing!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 1 year later...
  • Mentor

Today I was blessed to be in ceremony at a sweat lodge and sent prayers up to all the brothers and sisters here at SA who struggle. I prayed that we are all held however it is that we need most.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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  • 5 weeks later...
On 5/5/2018 at 6:55 PM, FarmGirlWorks said:

Today I was blessed to be in ceremony at a sweat lodge and sent prayers up to all the brothers and sisters here at SA who struggle. I prayed that we are all held however it is that we need most.

 

I love that FarmGirlWorks!

 

since I originally posted this thread back in 2014, I’ve been studying the healing arts consistently for the past 4 years.  I’ve completed weekend intensives and a 1.5 year apprenticeship with a traveling curandero.

 

I have not been using plant medicine during my apprenticeship...instead we use feather, rattle, drum and ceremony to move energy.  I have sent love towards SA many times in ceremony. 

 

In my opinion, there is no place for ahyuasca in SSRIS.  Maybe after tapering??  I am curious about psilocybin for ssri wd mainly because it works with the serotonin system, but I’m not in a place to experiment on myself right now with my taper.  

 

while I feel that Shamanism has helped my healing in so many tremendous ways (including healing the ptsd and soul loss from my last taper) I’m not so sure even Shamanism can help me taper off the ssri.  And that is very sad for me to admit out loud to myself.

HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years)

Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg  02/14; 5mg  04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14;

 

Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg;  05/01/15  6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg

 

2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg;  02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml  05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg 

 

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Hi there @Ssriwarrior. That is so cool that you have trained with a curandero! I worked with a shaman last year and we did a soul retrieval (I was hitting the acute stage of WD and going batshit crazy) and I've done a few sweat lodges since then. Feathers, rattles, drums, prayers are it. I've been doing kundalini yoga consistently for a year and it's been like a long, slow psychedelic trip. We consciously move energy during classes as well as practicing strengthening the CNS and glandular system.

 

I agree that psychedelics including ayahuasca are dangerous when tapering or, in my case, protracted withdrawal. The last time I did aya was a little over a year ago when I was a few weeks off this shite and hadn't hit true withdrawal. There is no way I would do it now until I am feeling much better for a long, long time. Same with the psilocybin and others... bums me out as I have, of course now, easy access to these substances but can't take them. Oh irony of ironies. Maybe that is how it is supposed to be, though...

 

3 hours ago, Ssriwarrior said:

while I feel that Shamanism has helped my healing in so many tremendous ways (including healing the ptsd and soul loss from my last taper) I’m not so sure even Shamanism can help me taper off the ssri.  And that is very sad for me to admit out loud to myself.

Ah, but that is so good that you can say it. I too think that shamanism is a tool for some illnesses and not for others. I spent months working with the shaman (who is awesome) and doing dances and rituals with her. It was great but time has been the biggest factor in this. Ugh. I was hoping the soul retrieval was all I needed in WD -- it clearly was not. I do feel that there is an even bigger lesson though. I love the fact that you have been studying in the healing arts for 4 year -- it's a process, a long process. And that is interesting the PTSD component... I feel like that is happening to me too.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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I believe that it is because of Ayahuasca, that I'm going through my withdrawing and healing journey. I felt the spirit of Ayahuasca calling to me (first at 17 years of age, through a musical track - it was a calling of reverie; the one I felt a couple of years ago, when I started to withdraw, was of an urgency), so that it could do a thorough cleansing of my psyche and soul. But first I need to get off of Zoloft completely. 

2000: Paxil, low dose. 2001: Paxil, quickly tapered off. 2006: Zoloft, 25mg. 2007: Wellbutrin, low dose, discontinued after a week or a month. 2007-2009: Zoloft, increasing dose (up to 75mg). 2009-2011: Zoloft, failed withdrawal attempts (cold-turkey; fast tapering). 2009-2011: Trying out Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanax. 2012-2015: Zoloft, 100mg to 200mg. 2013: Trazadone for Zoloft-induced insomnia, 25mg to 50mg.  2015: Trileptal, dose?, withdrew; Bupropion, up to 200mg. 2016: Zoloft, 137mg, Bupropion, 150mg, Trazodone, 25mg.

05/21/16: Began Zoloft taper - 10% from 150mg - 137ish mg

06/23/16: Zoloft taper - 125mg

08/03/16: Bupropion XL taper - cut 150mg pill in crude half (mistake)

10/31: Zoloft successfully down to 100mg. Staying on 100mg for 2-3 months to let my brain rest.

11/09: Wellbutrin SR prescribed, 150mg once a day, for withdrawal.

12/11: Wellbutrin SR, twice daily - minus 18ishmg = 112.50mg

09/30/17: Off Wellbutrin SR successfully. Zoloft taper: 90ish mg (shaving it off). Trazodone: still at 50mg.

June 2018: Zoloft: 80ish (shaving off). Trazodone: 6mg. End of 2018: Off Trazodone.

01/20: Zoloft: 70ish?

08/20: Still around 80 or 70. Tapering by only 15 shaves each month.

04/2021: 50mg! 11/2022: 40ish mg

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  • Mentor

The different calls you had are so pertinent to each transformation. Good luck with the Zoloft taper. I am looking forward to the next aya journey in the indefinite future.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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  • 7 months later...

I am so glad to see a thread dedicated to Shamanic Healing.  I have been practicing and doing shamanic healing for 4 years for cPTSD. First learning how to do basic shamanic journeying and then seeing a shaman doing inner energy work for a few years.  Then last year it manifested again when i was doing yoga teacher training and was asked to go  through the training to offer shamanic reiki. it was an amazing experience, but I am new to being a practitioner.  I really did it as a deeper dive into the shamanic practices and deepen my ability to calm my energy.  It works.  I did loose my ability to 'drop in' to my meditations when i was going though SSRi withdrawal symptoms.  I was so worried that I would not get that part of my brain back.  I learned my journeys are not of the mind but get clouded with random thoughts when I was really peaking on withdrawal.  My biggest sign that I was getting better was when  I finally was able to journey and get to my sacred space through shamanic meditation.  

 

As for plant medicine, I am called  to that again but not until i have stabilized.  The pull is there but it always presents itself when the set, setting and timing are all lined up.   There is so much to be learned though unmedicated journeying vs going to bungie jumping off the deep end I dont have a burning desire at this point.  It will manifest itself when its time.    I have gone that route with plant medicine and it was extremely effective for me but I was in the right set and setting.  Not to be done with out guidance in my experience.  

 

Much love and light to all. 

 

Andy 

2016 10mg Lexipro

2014 2mg kpin

2012 10mg Trazodone 

Tapered to 1mg of kpin over 3 months 2018. Holding there until I get off the SSRI'S 

Tapered 3 weeks from 10mg to 5mg of lexipro then from 5mg to 0mg December 8, 2018.

Dec 2018 Currently holding on .5mg 2x a day of Kpin and 5mg of Trazdone at night.  No lexipro

Jan 2019 Dropped to .25 2x per day of Kpin

Supplement Update  Feb 2019 - Fish Oil, B Complex, Magnesium, Lions Mane

Feb 14, 2019 Dropped to .25 1x per day of kpin

Feb 19, 2019 Last dose of kpin.  

Feb 20 SSRI and Benzo Free

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