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The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization


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WinningThrough

I believe healing happens during waves. I've never had a clear window but I get murky ones.

 

I was in a tsunami which started early January. The last few days I've had some changes. I have most of the symptoms I usually have which I won't go into here but there are a few symptoms which have been a bit better the last few days. My brain zaps have been gone since Saturday and I had them for a year prior to this. My eyes are better than normal. My eye pressure is better today. My head feels clearer. I've not cried for days and I was having massive crying spells. I've not had many hot flashes or sweats and I was having them every half hour recently. So something has shifted.

 

Last year I had a dreadful and long wave. Just before Christmas and after that appalling wave, I wasn't in a full window but I felt connection for the first time in so long. I also felt a little bit cheerful. I felt hopeful and felt certain that healing would come. I had shed loads of symptoms but those improvements were significant. The connection isn't back yet but the fact that it came back then shows it will again.

 

I hope this helps. Improvements do happen after waves.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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ADMIN NOTE:    SEE ALSO:   Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms   Stabilising After a Reduction - What Does That Mean? Withdrawal Normal Description

This was my experience although I had the "holes" then the "good windows" (although for a very very long time the good was pretty bad). I still have some residual symptoms with the holes/windows, but

It's all waves and windows, Nickie, so don't get discouraged if you feel bad again.   The windows get longer and the waves get weaker until, one day, you can say you feel normal.

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During a wave I always start thinking . . This is it,

I'm never going to be able to drop lower than this.

It helps if I imagine my brain struggling to re-grow connctions in places the drug had blocked. 

Helps me hang in there until things stabalize. Reading success stories is also encouraging.

Thanks for yours (above) Winning Through.

On 20 mg of Prozac for about ten years. Sept 2012 started reducing 10% a drop using gram scale, with average of one month holds.

When I'd reached the half way mark, taking 10 mg  powder out of the 20 mg capsules, I switched over to 10 mg capsules and cutting

down from those. Withdrawals got harder the lower I dropped.  May 2013 changed to 5% drops, holding until all withdrawal symptoms gone.

January 2015 changed to liquid prozac (concentration of 20MG per 5 mL) using a 1mL oral syringe.

Current dose of fluoxetine solution equivalent 3.4 mg. Any effort to drop below this has been disastrous so for the time being I'm staying at this level.
Adding 200 mg Tryptophan and 200 GABA a day has helped with anxiety.
Also take 1,300mg Omega- 3,  875mg  Magnesium, 1800mg Curcumin, 1000mg Vit C, 5000 Vit D.
 

 

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  • 1 month later...

I may have asked this before but has anyone experienced DAILY windows and wave paytern? I can feel great for a day or sometimes 2 and then terrible the next day. What part of healing is this? One day I'm full of ambition and the next i am tired and want to crawl under a rock and i dont like talking to people. I thought the pattern would be more of 2 weeks good then a month bad and so on. But every other day is not what i have read on here. Could this mean it wont last as long? Real confused about this pattern.

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. ????????????????

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I'd be curious about this too, because in the beginning, this is pretty much the way my pattern went. I didn't feel wonderful during the "good" days--but decent. Then I would have a bad day or two, etc. Even now, at 9 months out, I am more likely to have a bad day or two, four days or so of "baseline", and a decent day. The exception to this would be a "flare" I had at four months, an even harder/longer one at six months, and a recent one that lasted about 2 weeks at almost 9 months.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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WinningThrough

During a wave I always start thinking . . This is it,

I'm never going to be able to drop lower than this.

It helps if I imagine my brain struggling to re-grow connctions in places the drug had blocked. 

Helps me hang in there until things stabalize. Reading success stories is also encouraging.

Thanks for yours (above) Winning Through.

I'm glad my post helped, indigo. If it helps, after it wrote that I went into my best window yet and it lasted about a week. I got some emotions back, my terror went right down and I had an improvement in the depression. I even enjoyed things a bit. My akathisia went down to the best it's been. I'm in a monster wave now but I'm hoping when it ends, I will see another window. Keep going.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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WinningThrough

I may have asked this before but has anyone experienced DAILY windows and wave paytern? I can feel great for a day or sometimes 2 and then terrible the next day. What part of healing is this? One day I'm full of ambition and the next i am tired and want to crawl under a rock and i dont like talking to people. I thought the pattern would be more of 2 weeks good then a month bad and so on. But every other day is not what i have read on here. Could this mean it wont last as long? Real confused about this pattern.

Hi DLB. I read about someone on the benzo website who had an every other thing going on. She had akathisia. It was constant and then, before she healed, it went to every other day. She had one day akathisia, the next day no akathisia, the next day akathisia, then no akathisia and so on. Then her akathisia went. I would say it's a good sign that you are having this pattern.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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I'm a little different from the pattern in here, I don't think I've had windows/waves in withdrawal.  But.  It reminds me of this (which could have been withdrawal or drug related as they tried me on a "new drug" and then I went off again, etc. - or - the long period of time I was on Wellbutrin, but just couldn't seem to quit it, but kept trying to quit).

 

The pattern was CALLED:  "hypomanic / bipolar depression" (windows / waves).  It was what got me "diagnosed" as "bipolar."  When I was hypomanic I could do something.  I could go to work, accomplish goals, wash the car, pay the bills, make the phone calls, wash the dog, vacuum the floor, do the dishes, mow the lawn.  THEN after 1-3 days of "hypomanic" or windows, I would collapse in a heap and watch the papers and bills, trash, dishes, filth pile up again for weeks, until I was well rested enough to try again.

 

At the first inkling of energy (because the "depressed" inactivity is soul destroying) - I would start again, and do AS MUCH AS I COULD until I collapsed again.  I laughed it off and called it "spurt working," but really, I was barely holding it together because these windows, these times of "hypomania.", were the only functioning I had.

 

There was a DIRECT CORRELATION between how hard I worked during my window / hypomania, and HOW LONG and DEEP my ensuing depression was.  If I got to washing the dog and mowing the lawn, it might be 3 weeks or more before I'd see the light of day.

 

This is a cautionary tale:  when in a window, learn to relax and flow.  Don't push.  I know, things aren't getting done, and you are tired of it - but if you push too hard, the wave will crash deeper.

 

Two other notes:  1.  If you continue to have the stress in your life, you know the one, it will be extremely difficult to stabilize, and the waves will be deeper and longer than they would without that stress.  (this varies intensely per individual.  I found that one of my major stressors was dairy, of all things.  Bad relationships are especially difficult.)

 

DLB asks:

 

 

I may have asked this before but has anyone experienced DAILY windows and wave paytern?

 

and I wonder - what stressors happen to you daily?  Or - what constant stress do you have which might overwhelm you on a daily basis?  It's about the drugs - but it's not *just* about the drugs.  It's about getting support, and making the changes inside and out, so that you can live without the drugs as a healthy, dynamic, responsive and responsible individual.  (I don't know you DLB, I'm not making a judgement here, I'm using you as an example, and maybe suggesting that you ask some questions of yourself - if I'm off base, just ignore me.)

 

and 

 

2.  When you were a child, do you remember anything before age 4?  No?  That's because your brain was building so fast, it literally couldn't retain memories (ref:  http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/4198637.htm).  It takes 4 years to build a brain from scratch.  Age 7 is where the "age of reason" begins, and a child supposedly knows right from wrong (in several religions).  So it takes 7 years to build a discerning brain.  Do you remember the difference between your brain at age 7 and age 13?  What about the difference between age 14 and age 21?  BIG difference, huh?

 

Now compare these times to the number of years you were on the drug/s. Think about what your brain was like then, and what your brain is like now.   Do not expect yourself to heal in days, weeks, or even months.  The brain is an amazing thing.  Respect it, and don't put it to a schedule.  IT WILL HEAL.  It IS HEALING!  But it will take time.  Be patient with your brain, let it grow itself anew.

 

The waves will come, the windows will come, the waves will come again, and so will the windows.  You breathe in, you breathe out.  You are alive.  Let your brain have it's own schedule, don't try to pin it to a calendar or a clock.  I believe that to do so, will actually hinder its repair - but to let go - will help it heal more quickly.  (just my belief)

 

 

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Is there a psychiatric paper or some document that talks about the windows and waves pattern of recovery? 

 

I have had windows and waves in one single day. I might be feeling great for a couple of hours and all of a sudden experience symptoms in my head and then have an outburst of irritability or crying. But it's been going like this for almost a year, and the strange thing is I don't feel improvement, but worsening of depression as the months go by, I don't know if it's my original condition along with withdrawal making me hopeless, or something else.  

 

My doctor doesn't believe withdrawal recovery happens this way. He says I might have something wrong with the electrical activity in my brain and wants me to get an electroencephalogram. But I want to show him about the windows and waves pattern anyway. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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Cdav, try googling PAWS syndrome. It's all right there. 

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. ????????????????

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Is there a psychiatric paper or some document that talks about the windows and waves pattern of recovery? 

 

I have had windows and waves in one single day. I might be feeling great for a couple of hours and all of a sudden experience symptoms in my head and then have an outburst of irritability or crying. But it's been going like this for almost a year, and the strange thing is I don't feel improvement, but worsening of depression as the months go by, I don't know if it's my original condition along with withdrawal making me hopeless, or something else.  

 

My doctor doesn't believe withdrawal recovery happens this way. He says I might have something wrong with the electrical activity in my brain and wants me to get an electroencephalogram. But I want to show him about the windows and waves pattern anyway. 

Not that I know of, but I did start seeing a psychiatrist who confirmed my diagnosis of severe prolonged withdrawal.  Although he has never treated anybody with it except me, he has read enough case studies to know that what I am experiencing is legitimate.  He told me that these medications affect the brain in the exact same way that illegal drugs do.  I told him that if I had known that then I never would have agreed to take them, no matter what, and he said that he thinks a lot of people would not agree to take them if they knew that.  He also said that he does believe in meds, but only for very, very, very severe cases.

 

I'm sorry that doesn't help to answer your question, but maybe it can give you internal courage to know that there are psychiatrists who do believe us :)  Your psychiatrist needs to be willing to give credence to case studies.

**I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, merely personal experience
***Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-4 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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I have gone through two recoveries from benzo's and neither time did I experience "waves/windows" recovery but a steady ever increasing lifting of symptoms after the initial acute stage which during my first recovery , lasted for 4 years with very very little improvement and then only a gradual almost imperceptible change.  BUT,  I did continue to improve over time. 

1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1992- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 1.30mg

5/4/17  Doxepin 45mg  Zoloft 24mg  Clonidine 1.20mg   Micro taper of Doxepin, Clonidine

01/13/19  Doxepin 45mg   Zoloft 21mg   Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19

 

 

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Cdav writes:  

 

 

I have had windows and waves in one single day. I might be feeling great for a couple of hours and all of a sudden experience symptoms in my head and then have an outburst of irritability or crying. But it's been going like this for almost a year, and the strange thing is I don't feel improvement, but worsening of depression as the months go by, I don't know if it's my original condition along with withdrawal making me hopeless, or something else.  

 

More about daily patterns - if it's not a regular stressor - that stressor could be your own chemicals, which flow in a cyclic way.  The big one you hear people talk about here in SA is cortisol, but there are other ones, too.  Cortisol helps you wake up and get things done - but can fire inappropriately in a "fight or flight" kind of way.  Blood sugar can do similar things - becoming aware of my sugar spikes has been really helpful in controlling my mood and head aches and "headspins" (I don't know what esle to call them).  Even melatonin - how much daylight you take in, and how much night light you expose yourself to - can affect your daily cycles.

 

Daily cycles actually are easier to deduce than the long, up for a week, down for 12 weeks, up for a day, down for 3 weeks, up for 10 minutes, down for another 5 days type of cycles - because there are things you are doing daily that can contribute to those daily cycles.  Sometimes it's stress or trauma (the time of day "that thing" happened).  But usually, it's about your cortisol, blood sugar, hormones, thyroid, etc., when you have daily waves and windows.

 

What time you take your medicines, what time you eat, WHAT you eat (protein / sugar / carbs / fat, etc), how much light, when you drive then car, when the kids get home from school, when the news comes on, can all be tied to your own natural chemicals - which are emphasized in withdrawal.  What would normally be a blip on the map, becomes a full blown tornado, in withdrawal.

 

It takes a lot of detail to map a day, but I would start by mapping - when you take your medicine, when (and what) you eat, and when you have your waves - to see if you can find a pattern to help you through.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello,

 

I have read that during recovery, waves can tend to come on the "moon cycle" of 30, 60, 90, 120, 180 days etc.  Has anyone experienced this?  6 days before my 180 day anniversary of cold turkey off of antidepressants I have had a wave that lasted a month, and now seems to be lifting the past few days (thankfully!).  I find it interesting that so much of what I have learned from this site and other sites that discuss PAWS and Discontinuation Syndrome turns out to be very accurate for me during my recovery.  I know many of us here have been or are under a wave for months on end and I truly wish for relief for you.

 

I hope everyone here will have a window soon and see the signs that recovery is possible; it is renewing when it finally appears even in some small part. 

20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
The secret is to keep going!  Time will heal.


 
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I'm not sure I'm exactly following the typical "windows and waves" pattern, but I had a flare at 4 months, worse at 6 months, worse yet at 8 months, and currently am in the longest, hardest one at 10 months (right at a month so far). Not sure exactly where it goes from here, but I sure hope it let's up soon, and that these episodes don't just keep getting worse and worse. Not sure this exactly follows what you're talking about, but looks like a definite pattern.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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WinningThrough

I'm just wondering .. Do a lot of people have a window and then not have another for absolutely ages? In mid march, I had my best window in this (albeit far from a normal window but I had improvements). I got to about 30-35% which is really good for me and it lasted 7 days. The window closed on about 20th march and I haven't had a window since. Is this normal? Do other people have a window and then have to wait flipping ages for another one? It's been 3 months since I had that window.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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  • 1 month later...
LucaDiProspero

I really doubt about this 'waves and windows' model; since I started to have bad symptoms like anhedonia last November I haven't had a single window yet and many many months has passed.

March 2010/ October 2010:

Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day

October 2010/ 1st November 2014:

Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014)

Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014.

Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet.

Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014.

Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet.

 

 

I'm med free from 3rd December 2015

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Luca, I went off Zoloft a year ago basically cold turkey (6 week taper). I have akathisia and many other symptoms. I have had partial days here and there where symptoms are a little more tolerable, but not what I really would consider windows. From what I have been told, some people don't get windows for over a year. Also, it would appear that some people just don't follow the windows and waves pattern.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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  • 2 weeks later...

When I read different threads I see people talking about windows and waves in terms of weeks and months. Then on the other hand I see some people mentioning them in terms of days and even hours. I am a bit confused.

 

Are the lengths of these periods that individual and/or can the changes that happen let's say within a day be considered windows and waves? Could it be that a person then has a micro level pattern of windows and waves (within a day) and a macro level one (a period of weeks or months)? Because I know many of us get this pattern of symptoms being at their worst in the mornings and subside by the evening (I have that for sure). Then again I have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks.

  • 2,5 years of slowly tapering down Cymbalta from 60 mg. Then tried going from 8,44 mg to 1 mg in 8 days. (April 1st 2015). That's when the real hell started. Reinstated. Didn't help. I was added Ativan (2 mg 2 times a day for relentless akathisia that started with jumping Cymbalta). For years had been taking Zopitin 7,5 mg and Stilnox 10 mg for I had not been able to sleep naturally since the 1st day I started Cymbalta). Used to take Xanax occasionally.
  • All of the above were stopped cold turkey when I was hospitalized in the beginning of May 2015.
  • Prior to that I have been on and off the whole spectrum of different AD-s for 15 years (since I was 17).

My introduction.

 

Tapering:

  • Olanzapine (starting point 2,1 mg): Jan 2016  /---/ April 2018 0 mg. (From 2,1 mg to 0 mg in 1y 3mo).
  • Diazepam (starting at 5 mg) : switching to liquid May 2018;  4,6 mg (June 2018) /---/ 0 mg (Feb 2020) (From 10 to 5 - nobody knows, from 5 to 0 in 1 y 10 mo)
  • Valdoxan (starting at 25 mg): switching to liquid (Feb 2019) /---/ 0 mg (July 2020)

 

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  • 1 month later...
WinningThrough

I don't know if this helps anyone. I hope it does. It came to me this morning and it's helped.

 

When we are in the depths, the 'what ifs' get us and we feel like this is never ending. We are desperate for recovery or a big change. We look far ahead.

 

Today I decided, rather than working towards big recovery and stressing about it all, I would just work towards the next 'better day'.

 

When we are in horrific waves that feel never ending, those better days suddenly come along. It just feels a little more doable somehow. I'm in a huge wave and was dreadful last week but on Saturday it wasn't as bad. Then it went backwards again but these days do come along.

 

So for now, I'm just working towards the next 'better day' rather than looking too far ahead.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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I agree with you- much better to take smaller steps looking in to the future is too stressful. One of the problems though is that the bad wave sticks in your mind far more than the better window and you almost forget you have had it.

 

Perhaps recording a good moment in a diary is an idea just to convince us that it actually happened.

1995-1998 various SSRIs then withdrawal

2000 Sertraline

2003 Sertraline then changed to Prozac to attempt withdrawal.

2004 failed at withdrawal so Citalopram.

2010 attempted slow withdrawal over 12 months but failed- sever episode depression 2012

2012 3 days of Mirtazepine with bad reaction so started escitalopram 20mgs

2013 started very very slow taper with a number of slight reinstatements

Currently on between 0.5 and 1mg escitalopram drops at day.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Kira and Coopergirl1--It is not at all unusual for symptoms to get worse around 4 months off. Mine actually got consistently worse from months 4 through 10. Depressing, I know--but perhaps better to know that others experience this as well(?) I do think my 6-month period of worsening symptoms was longer than most. At 14 months off, I seem to be developing a pattern of being better for a day, then worse for a day or two, etc... then I might be worse for two or three consecutive weeks, before going back into the alternating pattern.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Those of who have clear waves and windows: can a wave be characterized by a single symptom??

 

 

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues

  • September 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

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In waves symptoms are stronger. In Windows symptoms are weaker. Overtime the symptoms become weak enough that you feel like your old self. However for most of us early on in withdrawal even when some symptoms have lessened they are still strong enough or other symptoms are strong enough that you dont feel good yet thus creating a window but a weak window. Which can be frustrating because eventhough you can acknowledge that some things have calmed down the other things that havent dont allow you to feel good. I think that's why we all have trouble decifering whether or not you had a window.Time will all get us to a good big window. If you read the recovery stories it seems to happen very gradually until feeling good takes over from symptoms. Right now most of our symptoms are too strong to feel good

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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My depression withdrawal symptoms has disappeared for almost three weeks. However I still had other symptoms; zaps, pain, fatigue etc. would it be considered a window on the depression? Or is a window only a window when all symptoms are decreased or gone?

The sad and intrusive thoughts are back but not lasting as long.

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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That's the funny part of this withdrawal. On one hand depression let up but other symptoms were strong. My personal opinion would be you had a window on your depression. However If you felt better overall even with the other heavy symptoms Id say you had an overall window. I don't think a window is only when all symptoms let up.

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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In my opinion if your symptoms get stronger than you are going through a wave. This is not a linear process as we have found out. You take a step forward and than a step back.

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Vonnegutjunky

I was just wondering if everyone has waves and windows in significant patterns such as I have them both every 2 weeks almost like clockwork- they don't get better or worse or longer or shorter- but I can count every 9-12 days for both; and the wave or window doesn't just come on one day, i ease into it over a 2-3 day period - just wondering if this is typical

 

*Currently at 3.3mg off my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) so I’m around 7.4 mg 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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  • 2 months later...
  • Moderator

83 photos of breaking waves

 

Now you can pick yours.

 

CC

NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

 

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

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post-1532-0-29391400-1455344094.jpg

 

Sending to all a beautiful window for your Valentine!

Diagnosed w/ ADD and minor depression in 1990. Fluoxetine 20 mg/day. Also methylphenidate, but hated it and quit after about a week. Quit fluoxetine cold turkey (ignorance) 18 January 2013. Experienced brain zaps, flu symptoms, heart palpitations. Nothing after August 2013. Mirtazapine 15 mg/day for sleep beginning around 1999. Began tapering August 2013.  As of March 2015 I'm off mirtazapine and antidepressant free. Don't sleep well after sunrise, feel anxious and sad some of the time, still have tinnitus. Still occasionally take lorazepam for anxiety but never more than 1 mg.  Prescribed metoprolol (beta blocker) for atrial fibrillation diagnosed June 2013. Medical  opinion (two cardiologists) is that it's not caused by fluoxetine w/drawal and is a dangerous, chronic condition requiring lifelong medication. As of Aug 2013 heart palpitations for the most part ceased. Tapered beta blocker and am off of it as of Jan 2015. No wd symptoms or recurring afib at all so far. Maybe it was wd after all, but doctors don't think so, surprise surprise. However, a small victory: the last doctor I related this to shrugged her shoulders. Getting lots of exercise, which has me physically pretty robust at age 71 in spite of persistence of mirt wd symptoms, mainly insomnia and anxiety, but also jaw-clenching annoyance at noises of a certain pitch and timbre. Incessant media fixation on the presidential campaign has ruined my disposition and my faith in the future. My Introduction.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Marie123, 

 

Yes, I think that any illness that causes an immune response can cause a setback and put you in a wave.  I don't have any hard facts, just that I've seen so many times that I know it happens.  

I do not have a medical background, any opinions are my own.

 

I took zopiclone ( z-drug) for situational insomnia. Three weeks later I was having panic attacks. I was given Benzos, A/D, anti-psychotics, "mood stabilizers" and I kept getting worse and worse. I got very sick.

 

I have been off all drugs now for over 5 years and I'm healing nicely.

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daddybuggaorange

Does anyone know what actually causes the "waves"?  It seems if we feel better it would mean that the neuro-receptors are healing...what would make them cease functioning again?  Is it just the external stressors like fatigue, stress, emotional responses, etc. that bring a wave or is it the receptors that stop working all over again?

 

I'm 1.5 months out from my last dose and my body still has cravings for the meds from time to time.  This blows me away...according to doctors it has cleared my system and I should be home free.

Started klonopin 11/7/14 at 0.5 mg

on K consistently until week prior to Christmas

on/of Klonopin and 0.5 mg Xanax until 3rd week in February

tried c/t 3rd week in february, crashed hard, ER several times

1 mg klonopin last week in February until 2nd week in March

Quit Zoloft c/t 1st week of March 2015 & started Amitriptyline

Quit amitriptyline 2nd week in March & started Cymbalta

0.5 mg cut of Klonopin 2nd week in March

0.5 to 0 mg Klonopin taper March to June 2

off Klonopin since June 2

Stopped cymbalta august 24, started zoloft august 24

Seroquel taper from 75 to 0 over 12 days, last dose September 4.

Started Compazine Aug 12,  10 mg day

Stopped compazine aug 17, bad withdrawl

Started Remeron 3.75mg 10/12/15

Off Compazine 11/2/15

Off Zoloft 11/25/2015

Off Remeron 1/2/16

Brief encounter with Buspirone 1/13/16 - 1/18/16 2 tablets, bad reaction - severe depression

Tried Colonidine 1/14/16-1/20/16 - severe depression

Only Atenolol since 1/20/16

Reinstated Remeron 15mg 3/26/16

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It's because your brain and CNS are so complicated.  The brain heals in one area, then re-balances everything and settles, then goes on and heals another area - and so on.  So you get waves whenever a new healing adjustment happens.  And there are lots of areas to heal - different ones each time.  Heal - re-balance - settle - rest - heal - .......

 

Healing will still be happening long after the actual drugs are out of your system.  This is a slow re-building, not a quick flushing out.  While the drugs were in you, they caused damaging changes to your brain.  The drugs leave, but the brain must have time to re-build itself.  It is delicate and vital, so the work will be slow. 

 

Here is Rhi, who puts it so very well:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1160-how-psychiatric-drugs-remodel-your-brain/

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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daddybuggaorange

I definitely agree/understand the process of rebuilding receptors, repairing the damages, and the brain relearning how to work.  I just have a hard time understanding how we can feel good for 4 days, everything balanced, and then one afternoon it all falls apart.  I would think that once one set of receptors starts functioning well again that they would be ok, why would they stop functioning again?  I definitely agree that the healing process is non-linear, I guess scientifically/technically it still eludes me how/why it happens this way.

 

Also from what I've learned from the benzobuddies forum pain is actually a good thing.  When receptors are being regrown/re-engaged it typically causes pain.  Which means today I am REALLY healing, because wow...the pain :-) 

Started klonopin 11/7/14 at 0.5 mg

on K consistently until week prior to Christmas

on/of Klonopin and 0.5 mg Xanax until 3rd week in February

tried c/t 3rd week in february, crashed hard, ER several times

1 mg klonopin last week in February until 2nd week in March

Quit Zoloft c/t 1st week of March 2015 & started Amitriptyline

Quit amitriptyline 2nd week in March & started Cymbalta

0.5 mg cut of Klonopin 2nd week in March

0.5 to 0 mg Klonopin taper March to June 2

off Klonopin since June 2

Stopped cymbalta august 24, started zoloft august 24

Seroquel taper from 75 to 0 over 12 days, last dose September 4.

Started Compazine Aug 12,  10 mg day

Stopped compazine aug 17, bad withdrawl

Started Remeron 3.75mg 10/12/15

Off Compazine 11/2/15

Off Zoloft 11/25/2015

Off Remeron 1/2/16

Brief encounter with Buspirone 1/13/16 - 1/18/16 2 tablets, bad reaction - severe depression

Tried Colonidine 1/14/16-1/20/16 - severe depression

Only Atenolol since 1/20/16

Reinstated Remeron 15mg 3/26/16

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I admit to being quite unscientific, but how I understand it is that once one lot are working they keep working.  It's different areas each time, or the same ones re-balancing to accommodate the changes that happen each time a different area heals.

 

I agree about pain or discomfort being a sign of healing - like itchiness after a bee-sting. 

 

Sorry I can't help in a more scientific way.  I know there are people on here who probably can explain it better than I.

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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daddybuggaorange

It seems like there are cycles in the waves as well.  It goes between emotional / physical, and within those categories even cycles between different emotional/physical issues. 

Started klonopin 11/7/14 at 0.5 mg

on K consistently until week prior to Christmas

on/of Klonopin and 0.5 mg Xanax until 3rd week in February

tried c/t 3rd week in february, crashed hard, ER several times

1 mg klonopin last week in February until 2nd week in March

Quit Zoloft c/t 1st week of March 2015 & started Amitriptyline

Quit amitriptyline 2nd week in March & started Cymbalta

0.5 mg cut of Klonopin 2nd week in March

0.5 to 0 mg Klonopin taper March to June 2

off Klonopin since June 2

Stopped cymbalta august 24, started zoloft august 24

Seroquel taper from 75 to 0 over 12 days, last dose September 4.

Started Compazine Aug 12,  10 mg day

Stopped compazine aug 17, bad withdrawl

Started Remeron 3.75mg 10/12/15

Off Compazine 11/2/15

Off Zoloft 11/25/2015

Off Remeron 1/2/16

Brief encounter with Buspirone 1/13/16 - 1/18/16 2 tablets, bad reaction - severe depression

Tried Colonidine 1/14/16-1/20/16 - severe depression

Only Atenolol since 1/20/16

Reinstated Remeron 15mg 3/26/16

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Do strong emotions cause waves or are they caused by waves?

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