Jump to content

MostlyWater: I fear my symptoms are here to stay


MostlyWater

Recommended Posts

Well.. I'm starting to convince myself that these symptoms aren't going away.. probably ever. The low mood, groggy mornings, foggy thinking, the numbness on the left side of my body, brain/body zaps, head pulsing before bed, obsessive thoughts, inability to exercise or drink coffee/alcohol, self-loathing, diminished social skills, no sense of humor, low confidence in public, emotional breakdowns, skin problems and all the other physical crap wrong with me.. 

 

It never goes away.. it's been almost 2 years now.. I guess I ruined my own life before the age of 25..I felt so young and healthy before all this too.. I sure am a f%$# up.. Sure will be fun suffering for years to come with no end in sight.. in fact many of the symptoms are getting worse.. so I probably haven't even seen how bad it can get.. f^%$ it.. who cares at this point.. my body and mind are unreversably destroyed so I probably should stop thinking about it and accept my suffering

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

Link to comment
  • Administrator

MW, do you mind if I move this to the Intro forum as your Intro topic? You don't have one yet.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi  MostlyWater , welcome to the site.   I'm sorry you've been having such a tough time.

 

Could you share a little more about your situation?    I gather you tapered too fast from the Paxil after taking it for 8 years , and have had withdrawal symptoms ever since?

 

There's loads of information here , and people who want to help you if you'll let us.   Many have lived through this situation and recovered , and you can too.

 

The despair is part of the withdrawal . . . it's most unlikely your symptoms are permanent.

 

Good to have you on board ,   Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

MostlyWater, I hope it goes by you away! I am struggling also and I can not imagine that it stay by me like it is now, I would rather die. However, it is really crushing to hear that after 1,5 year it is the same. I am so sorry for me, for you, for everybody who has to suffer like that.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Link to comment

I feel the same way about my current Lexapro withdrawal, I am 13 months out from a cold turkey. Sure seems like it is permanent, with no end in sight. Wondering if it will get worse.

 

I also made it over here from PP -

 

Interestingly, when I was two years into my Prozac withdrawal many years ago, I also felt the persistent, debilitating symptoms would never leave.

 

But within four years of cold turkeying Prozac back then, all the withdrawal symptoms were mostly gone, and life became enjoyable again.

 

If only my doctor had told me that all those classic, bizarre SSRI withdrawal symptoms back then were from the lousy Prozac, I would have never gone on Lexapro years after recovering from Prozac withdrawal. Man, was that doctor ignorant! 

 

So here I am, going through the same thing. I have head pressure, constant head ringing, seems like it is here to stay. Hard to imagine it ever going away.

 

But since I know I recovered from Prozac, and many others took three or four years until life became tolerable again, I have no choice but to wait it out. I certainly have hope, but I am wearying of the struggle.

 

I try to keep this fellow's quote and story in mind:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3523-success-recovery-from-protracted-zoloft-withdrawal-and-pssd/

 

“The recovery was slow and painful, but I became conscious of every little improvement as it happened. I got used to the pattern: something would get better for a while, then suddenly everything would swing right back and all that recovery would vanish. But I learnt the trick - once something had recovered temporarily, it was only a matter of time before it recovered permanently. It made no difference if it came back for a while... it had already revealed its weakness, and sooner or later it was going to be gone for good. That was true in every single case.”

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

Link to comment

Clearday, we all need hope! It is difficult to keep reading posts about suffering that goes on for four years and find hope.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

Link to comment

I found a bit hope, better than to suffer 100 years ...

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Link to comment

(((((MostlyWater)))) You're in the grips of despair right now. I can hear it in your thread. It will pass. Try to write down the symptoms you've had since the beginning of your acute WD. Check off the stuff you no longer have. Put a minus sign next to the symptoms that are intermittent or have decreased in intensity. It will help you focus on the fact that you are actually healing and that you will recover. It helps me to do this.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

Link to comment

Martina23 said:

I found a bit hope, better than to suffer 100 years ...

 

Thank you, Martina. 

 

Anyone who has spent a lot of time on these blogs are familiar with how long protracted SSRI withdrawal can last. 

 

And when so many people here are still suffering after two years of withdrawal, it is good to remind them that recovery can take three or four years in some cases.

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

Link to comment

Maybe if those who have experienced protracted WD could describe how they experienced times of improvement throughout those years in WD it would be more encouraging. Sorry Martina. I don't find any comfort in the fact that this at least won't last 100 years. I won't last 100 years. None of us will, statistically anyway.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

Link to comment

The despair is part of the withdrawal . . . it's most unlikely your symptoms are permanent.

 

Good to have you on board ,   Fresh

 

I love that!....Despair as part of withdrawal..... Of course! Thank you, Fresh -

 

And great to see you MostlyWater - you inspire me - let's get through this -

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Mostly Water, it is the policy of this forum to heal.  To get better.  Here, we believe in neuroplasticity, hope, and the power of the positive attitude to learn how to make ourselves well.  Trusting the docs didn't work - it's time to look at what we can do for ourselves.

 

Congratulations on successfully getting off one of the difficult SSRI's.  I'm sorry you went so quickly, that may make the next period more difficult for awhiel.

 

You will not be the same person you were before the drug.  You will not be the same person you were on the drug. 

 

There will be a period of maybe 2, maybe 10 years of adjustment as you rebuild your brain.  Your brain will throw things at you, and just when you think you've got it figured out, your brain will throw you something new.  The Paxil restructured your brain, and you have pulled out that "lattice" (as Rhi calls it) and your brain has gone all wobbly, and will continue to do wobbly things until it settles.  As every brain and drug reaction is different, I can't say how long this will be for you.  I would suggest counting it in months and years, not days and weeks.

 

But when it comes to survival, I suggests seconds and minutes.  I'm a strong believer in distractions, whether that is coloring books, listening to music, yoga, meditation, old sitcoms on TV, and taking walks.

 

Coffee, alcohol, lots of things you used to do before may go away for awhile.  I lost the ability to eat wheat, grains (even rice), dairy, and a few other weird things.  And it's awesome that you've noticed that the coffee and alcohol are activating!  If something activates your symptoms, then that's a clear indicator of what you should (or should not) be doing!

 

Are you having waves and windows?  Waves are the rough and scary stuff, the neuroemotions, the fear, the despondancy, the agony - but windows are the bright peeks of light coming throught that give you hope.  

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

Also, it might help your healing to look into magnesium:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

and fish oil:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

These tend to smooth (fish oil) and nourish (magnesium)  your neurotransmitters to aid in your healing.  

 

You will still have symptoms, but these things help.  And hey Mostly Water - if you like to take a bath, Epsom Salts baths are very soothing to the nerves and muscles, and can aid sleep.

 

Welcome to SA!  

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to comment

There will be a period of maybe 2, maybe 10 years of adjustment as you rebuild your brain.  I can't say how long this will be for you.  I would suggest counting it in months and years, not days and weeks.

 

But when it comes to survival, I suggest seconds and minutes.  I'm a strong believer in distractions, whether that is coloring books, listening to music, yoga, meditation, old sitcoms on TV, and taking walks.

 

Amen to that! I used to call myself "keepbreathing" on these forums because during my darkest days of Prozac WD, during years one and two, I knew that sometimes my only task was to keep breathing (I got that from the movie "Castaway"...) and never give up - simply survive -

 

Distractions help to tick away the time until we begin to feel a lot better. Since time is what we need to heal, whatever we can do to make it pass quicker, the better -

 

While my WDs have been very long and difficult, I was still able to accomplish much through "distractions" - and I did manage to scrape some enjoyment out of life in the meantime - 

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

Link to comment

MW. Sorry you aren't doing well at the moment.

It DOES get better and it WILL! This has got to be the worlds slowest process known! Something you said really stood out to me. You feel like you're getting worse at 2 years off. I felt the same way. In fact I got a whole wack of new symptoms around 2 years off, I felt much worse for the most part and it felt like a whole new level of hell to me. Even near the 3 year mark I had the scariest worst wave yet that lasted months. I truly thought of giving up by 3 years. Something inside kept nagging to just keep going, no matter what, so I did. Right at 3 years I turned my first ReaL corner. A lot of the first 3 years I now notice, was non linear healing. I was either really bad or had periods of function. I didn't call them improvements because anything that went away always came right back. My windows weren't great but they were also really short lived. Since 3 years it's as if my baseline has improved. My waves aren't as bad at all anymore and ALOT of things haven't returned for a good 6-8 months now. I will be 3.5 years off next week and I can finally say I'm seeing real improvements. Physically and mentally. The mental anguish is pretty much gone and what's left of mental symptoms are so mild and only pop up very briefly. I felt mental and insane and ready to kill myself the first 3 years. Around 2+ years a whole bunch of physical things surfaced which are also now much milder. I stil have a long way to go to but in ready to get back to life. I'm looking for a job, I'm excited about things and am loving life again. Now it's just the nuisances or stuff that pop up in waves. My biggest issue is still the autonomic dysfunction. It keeps me from excercising. But I always get windows with that too where my body and system arm to function normally again. I have a feeling my autonomc system will take longer to work itself out. On PP, there were a few people who had these issues too and I remember one of them was able to excerice again around 4 years off. Even Marka (nz1) is now finally getting back to the gym and excercising. He couldn't until recently and he is well over 4 years off.

I know 4 sounds horridly long but it better than never. 4 would have made me want to give up when I was 2 years off but look. You've made it 2 years!! You're still here. You're still Unmedicated. Look at your strength and perseverance. That's what counts. I can absolutely 100% say that I'm a much stronger and happier person right now ( even with symptoms) than I EVER have been in my life. I have an inner strength and determination like I never thought could exist. You do too. We all do here. It's just really hard to see it that while in the throws.

13 years of Ssri's - celexa, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft

2 fast tapers and 2 cold turkeys over the years

Psych med free since September 4th 2011 - fast tapered then CT'd 12.5 mg of Zoloft

 

 

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

Link to comment

Thank you all for the encouraging and kind replies. Sometimes my mind drifts to the dark side of all this and I felt like telling people might help but then I felt bad because of how negative it sounded. When you wake up feeling almost the same every morning with all the physical symptoms.. it probably feels like waking up on a deserted island knowing that no one is coming to rescue you. It's the physical stuff that really bothers me.. because it's clearly effecting me.. The mental stuff I can imagine going away, but the physical stuff feels much more 'real' and irreversible. The first thing I do when I wake up is massage both my hands because it opens up my windpipe by stimulating the nerves throughout my body, same with massaging my lower spine and my ankles.. that's just to give you an example as to how much my nerve problems are effecting me. Imac, you've always been very inspirational to me, probably because we are on a very similar path and seem to be one more long-term cases. I believe this can't possibly keep going on.. but psychologically, it just feels endless. 

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

Link to comment

 I felt bad because of how negative it sounded.  I believe this can't possibly keep going on.. but psychologically, it just feels endless. 

 

I'm glad you said it the way you said it, because I was feeling the same way this morning too. Made me feel like I wasn't the only one.

 

It sure does seem endless. I still can't believe I got over the Prozac WD - it took years.  The first two years were the worst. The main thing is you know what caused it - it was the Paxil. I am like you, in that the physical symptoms are the worst. They get better. It takes awhile.

 

And you are young, so you have a great chance of recovery with your whole life ahead of you, SSRI-free.

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

Link to comment

I agree MW. Psychologically it DOES feel endless. Rationally we know it won't. I too agree that the physical stuff can be worse ( In a way). When I had all that mental torture i wished I had physical stuff like others instead. That WD mental anguish truly is a beast like no other. But now that it's gone for me, I find some of the physical stuff a whole other beast of it's own. It's another form of torture because it too can keep you from fully functioning. My major culprits are the autonomic dysfunction but that has several times gone away and the head stuff. I recently had my first few months without it but it's returned. I'm hopeful and optimistic that it will go again.

MW, what other physical symptoms are you suffering from?

13 years of Ssri's - celexa, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft

2 fast tapers and 2 cold turkeys over the years

Psych med free since September 4th 2011 - fast tapered then CT'd 12.5 mg of Zoloft

 

 

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

Link to comment

I am struggling with left side numbness also and I am almost 11 months off. I get it all at once a few times a day. I can feel it in my leg,arm and face. It started about 2 months ago. I had an mri and it was negative for anything neurological. So I am putting it up to withdraw because I don't know what else it can be.

I started ssris around 2000 sorry I cant remember exactly everything and when but i will try

Paxil from about 2000-2004 from 10 mg right up to 40 mg felt like it wasnt working

THen I have been on Celexa from 2004-2007, then well butrin and abilify was thrown in somewhere up until 2010

tried to c/t off celexa a few times could do it..

went on Cymbalta from about 2010-2012 then had gastric bypass surgery so i wasnt absorbing it very well

2012-2014 went back to celexa then slowing between july 2013 and april 2014 weaned about 1 mg a month

last dose taken was April 2014 And havent really felt that bad at all.. until recently 9 months out and wanted to start college i think this sent me into a wave...i suffered 2 strokes in the small part of my brain in around 2010 but they arent exactly sure when by the time we found them. I had c/t off my meds at that time and was given a triple dose of birth control pill to take for a few months ( so we think that could have caused them)..

Link to comment

I am struggling with left side numbness also and I am almost 11 months off. I get it all at once a few times a day. I can feel it in my leg,arm and face. It started about 2 months ago. I had an mri and it was negative for anything neurological. So I am putting it up to withdraw because I don't know what else it can be.

 

Same here. 13 months out from Lexapro CT. Left side numbness usually leg, sometimes arm and face. Worse at night.  I also have bad tinnitus with this wave, worst in right ear. Lasting four months now. It's withdrawal. 

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

Link to comment

Hi! I'm roughly (only) a year off of these drugs and I have the same the body/brain zaps and other symptoms as you do. Just when I think it's all beginning to resolve...it seems to never go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're obviously not alone. As I once thought I was.

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Hey Mostly, you said,

 

 

The first thing I do when I wake up is massage both my hands because it opens up my windpipe by stimulating the nerves throughout my body, same with massaging my lower spine and my ankles.. that's just to give you an example as to how much my nerve problems are effecting me. 

 

Yes, that does show the extent of the extreme condition of your nervous system - but it also shows me that you are a survivor.  Not everyone would respond by doing a bit of self massage to start the day.  I know, you say you have to do it, but the reality is - you are doing it, and not everyone would.

 

Sometimes it does take a long time, especially after a CT (Cold Turkey).  You may feel like you are in the depths of the darkness right now - but I assure you - however deep that ocean is, there is a sky above it, and sometime soon - maybe within the next year - you will see the sky and remember what the sunshine looks like.  These windows help motivate you.

 

I like what Imac said about it being non linear.  You may not even notice that you are healing, for awhile yet.  But you are.  And the more proactive you can be - magnesium, fish oil, gentle exercise, a bit of sunshine, even social activity - will help you speed your process.

 

And it helps to be here - where you find that other people understand what you are going through.  That counts for a lot, too!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to comment

I like what Imac said about it being non linear.  You may not even notice that you are healing, for awhile yet.  But you are.  And the more proactive you can be - magnesium, fish oil, gentle exercise, a bit of sunshine, even social activity - will help you speed your process.

 

 

I agree. Like I said already on this thread, at two years out from Prozac CT, I was just as bad as I was one year out. But began improving by three years, and by four years mostly better. And these days I have no lingering symptoms from those dark days. Just new ones because now I'm in protracted WD from Lexapro. At least MW, you know that Paxil caused your misery, I wasn't so lucky and I went back on these meds at the urging of a doctor. 

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...
  • Moderator

Hi Mostly Water.  I just had to come comment on your introduction after seeing a post from you on the meditation thread.  Something about Zen meditation that someone else wants more of your ideas on.  Me too.  And oh.......okay.........on page 2 of that thread there were some more ideas and shares.

 

It was your user name really.  A little while back I identified my feeling state as being mostly of the elements Fire and Wind and so badly needing the balance of Water and Earth.

 

And here you are........Mostly Water.  I do hope I run into "A Bit of Earth" to help me achieve a bit more balance in this endeavor/journey that we are on.........even if only in name.

 

Hope to see more posts from you soon.

2022 May- continuing with limited activity on site, just something I need to do right now

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

Link to comment
  • 4 years later...
  • Administrator

Hello, @MostlyWater. How are you doing?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy