freespirit Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I'm sorry Fresh. Loss is one of the most difficult aspects of life. Thanks for sharing the beautiful video with us..very touching. Death does bring up issues of our own mortality..and while that's challenging, it can ultimately help us become clearer on what really matters...and where we can discard what is no longer serving us. It's a tough lesson, but potentially, a very freeing one. Take extra care of yourself through this time.... Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted October 8, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 8, 2015 Oh Fresh, What a beautiful woman. Thanks for sharing that - it's a blessing to see a person sharing so much joy and love. And a gentle reminder to live with whatever we have. Hugs to you, Karen 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
AliG Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Oh Fresh ! What a loss, for you ! I'm in tears. She seemed so beautiful, on the inside , as well . I don't understand, this world , at times. It seems so unfair . Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Cdav Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Fresh, thank you for sharing this video! I'm very sorry for your loss. Like others have said, she seemed like a beautiful soul. Just to listen to her voice and look at her face and smile made me feel connected to something bigger and deeper. God knows why he takes away from us such beautiful people at such a young age. Very inspiring. -Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months. -Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. -Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. - (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. - Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. -January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. -February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started. -March 2015: Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. -July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. -September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. -March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. -August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted October 13, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 13, 2015 Jo's just lovely , isn't she? I guess a bonus of being a musician is that there's loads of video footage of her life and making music. If you want more just look on youtube/facebook. On Kirtan (from Edo and Jo , Kirtan Alive): An ancient and sacred language of the heart is spreading , uniting people across the planet. This yogic language finds voice in Kirtan: a sacred expression of sound and word bringing inner transformation . divine connection and peace to our world. Tapping into the sacred vibrations of the universe , we tune into the frequencies of well-being and unity , melting our hearts with love. "Kirtan Alive" is a magical journey of Eastern mystical mantras expressed in soothing and joyous folk-pop melodies. The marriage of lush vocal harmonies , rapturous rhythms and sweet devotion is like honey droplets for the soul. For me personally , listening to this type of thing is the easiest form of meditation there is. You don't have to do anything - you can have it on in the background as you do whatever you want. Sometimes the idea of "Now I'm going to meditate/relax" is enough to cause a surge of anxiety for me (I hear you AliG and Useless Spork). That's okay , you don't have to be laying still for meditation to count. I think that's what I like about cooking - it becomes a meditative process that consumes my mind to the point of exclusion of most other thoughts. A little holiday for my brain. Things are getting back to normal after a few weeks of more W/D symptoms than I'd like. Serve me right for making a big drop (17 1/2 % ) , I know. Nothing severe , but enough to interfere with having a productive daily activity. Am having new capsules compounded in an assortment of 10mg , 5mg and 2.5mg , so will make smaller cuts from here. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Mentor ang Posted October 13, 2015 Mentor Share Posted October 13, 2015 OOps you did it too, too big a cut, we all get too damn impatient! Hope you balance soon, hugs from Ang x Dont do it again!!! You have to stay well, and keep writing, you are an inspiration to us all! You write so well, you are so nice, and so supportive.... We need you! And of course, hate to see you do a dipper! And thanks so much for links to lawyers, have contacted them, and will keep everyone informed. 1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression. Serotonin syndrome, oh yes! seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol. Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly) pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby). 98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout.... Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol, and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg tegretol 400mg. Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.Mid 15 .... 75mg seroquel, 3 x 1800mg SJW 2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW:::: 28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::; 18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump. 23/9 3mg....., 27/9 0mg. Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg............. LIGHTBULB MOMENT, I have MTHFR 2x mutations. CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it. Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues. Link to comment
AliG Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hi Fresh, It's good to hear from you, again. So sorry, for what you have been through, with the loss of your beautiful friend. I'm glad I'm not the only one to struggle with " meditation". The moving " forms" of yoga, music , cooking & walking appeal , a whole lot more, to me. Obviously, you as well ! Where do you find this "Kirtan"? Itunes ?? LOL. That sounds good ! Love, Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted October 13, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 13, 2015 You're right Ali . . . I just googled "Kirtan Alive itunes edo and jo" and you can preview songs there and purchase if you want - the album costs $16.99. Good thinking 99 . Thanks Ang . . . just like everyone else I had to test the waters to see my limits. I haven't had any real w/d symptoms since February , and I definitely prefer if I can continue tapering without them (duhhh). This is another favourite 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted October 13, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 13, 2015 So pretty......the music. And yes.......meditation is still meditation with music and movement. Good to see your post Fresh. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Cheeky Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Fresh, just followed your post. You are one amazing human being, you really inspira me. Xxxx 1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg 2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg of Seroquel Through the years made many mistakes tapering Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 7.5% per month Paxil 9% Seroquel doing daily micro-taper Guided by Mark Horowitz 31/3/24 Paxil 10.31mg 31/3/24 Seroquel 9.9mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted October 29, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 29, 2015 I want a new drug One that does what it should One that don't make me feel too bad One that don't make me feel too good (a song that oldies may remember) Well , I have a new drug and I'm just delighted with the show so far! It's not actually a drug , but a naturally occurring mineral that is usually depleted from our food by modern production (pesticides ,preservatives). I've been taking MSM (also known as Organic Sulphur Crystals) since last Friday , and have noticed increased energy , clearer thinking , and more energy and stamina. Hips and knees are less tight. It has a cumulative effect , and with continued use improves the condition of connective tissues and organs (it promotes collagen and keratin production , which strengthens hair , skin and nails). MSM has been recommended for use during drug withdrawal because it blocks pain receptors and reduces inflammation. There are loads of references if you search , but here is an overview http://www.health-science-spirit.com/msm.html Organic Sulphur as a Versatile Healer by Walter Last MSM, dimethylsulfone or methylsulfonylmethane with the formula (CH3)2SO2 occurs naturally in many fresh foods but is lost during processing. Its main use in the body is for collagen synthesis, forming skin, blood vessels, hair and nails. Its main benefit is to keep cells, skin and blood vessels elastic, which is the attribute of youth. That is why organic sulphur is often regarded as the beauty mineral. It keeps cell walls permeable so that nutrients can freely flow into the cells and wastes and toxins can easily be removed. Amino acid chains are usually linked with each other through flexible sulphur bridges. Also the oxidative energy production of cells requires reactive sulphur compounds. Without sufficient organic sulphur as in the form of MSM cells and body structures lose their elasticity and flexibility. The result are the well-known signs of aging: inelastic skin with increasing wrinkles, scar tissue, hardening arteries, varicose veins and also hardened lungs causing emphysema. Sufficient MSM is able to reverse these conditions to a significant degree, including emphysema. It is believed that the MSM in Aloe Vera is the active ingredient for repairing damaged skin. MSM is used by athletes to increase stamina and minimise sore muscles. Its use for this purpose is even more widespread with racehorses and greyhounds. This effect may be mainly due to the ability of MSM to greatly increase the body's ability to eliminate metabolic residues, wastes and toxins from the cells. In a similar way it appears to help those with chronic fatigue. With this it also helps us to recuperate from severe physical and mental exhaustion. MSM reduces the effects of stress and the incidence of stress related deaths in animals MSM tends to reduce or eliminate allergic reactions to foods, chemicals and inhaled allergens. It also reduces reactions to the bites of mosquitoes, bees, poisonous spiders and snakes. It lessens inflammation, pain, stiffness and swellings due to arthritis or from other musculoskeletal system disorders and helps to normalise the blood chemistry in these conditions. It also reduces inflammations of the skin and mucous membranes. MSM relieves leg and back cramps and muscle spasms, be it after periods of inactivity (night cramps) or during athletic activities. Other conditions that often benefit from MSM supplementation are hot flashes (or hot flushes) as well as discomfort due to the monthly cycle, also acne, asthma, back pain, Candida, constipation, diabetes, diarrhoea, diverticulitis, gastro-intestinal ulcers, hypertension, inflammations of all kinds, itching skin, migraines, nausea, pain, stress, sunburn and wound healing. It should also be helpful with other chronic degenerative or inflammatory conditions, especially Alzheimer's disease, cancer, Crohn's disease, myasthenia gravis and Parkinson's disease. Melanoma cells of a particularly aggressive strain were treated with a 2% MSM solution. After one day of exposure the cells had become completely normal and remained so indefinitely. Fingernails and hair have a high sulphur content and generally improve with MSM. It also reduces parasite infections in the intestinal and urogenital tracts. MSM appears to normalise our mental condition. Individuals on MSM tend to report increased alertness, reduced mood swings and less depression. It seems to improve the immune system and the senses of taste and smell. In addition, it neutralises the toxicity of anticholinesterase, thereby providing protection against insecticide exposure or ingestion. It also aids the liver in the detoxification of chemicals and, with this, is useful to ease drug withdrawal symptoms. The Oregon Health Service University demonstrated in many years of clinical use that MSM 1. inhibits pain impulses along nerve fibres (analgesia), 2. lessens inflammation, 3. increases blood supply, 4. reduces muscle spasm, 5. softens scar tissue. How to Use MSM MSM is a natural food ingredient and is free of unpleasant taste and odour. It is reported to be completely safe even in very high amounts. Because of its inert composition, it does not normally cause allergies or undesirable pharmacological effects. It can even safely be used to dilute blood. The body will use what it needs and remove any excess through the kidneys. The water-soluble MSM is easily absorbed and provides a therapeutically important source of organically bound sulphur. The daily maintenance intake commonly ranges from 5 to 20 g in several divided doses. Try to adjust the dose according to your wellbeing or observed effects. You may use more or less of these commonly used amounts. Initially I suggest starting with about 1 g and increase the dosage gradually to the full amount. The reason for a slow increase is that MSM often causes some beneficial but uncomfortable cleansing reactions. This may result in headaches, nausea, diarrhoea or weakness for a few days. If you are already on a high dose when this happens, just reduce or stop the intake until it is over. Cleansing reactions are a common and necessary part of effective natural healing methods. If you want to overcome a specific health problem faster you may experiment with taking more than your usual maintenance dose. To spread the intake more evenly during the day you may dissolve the daily amount in a glass of fruit juice or herb tea and taking a sip now and then. The exact amount used each day is not critical. You may equate a rounded teaspoonful of the fine, white crystals as being approximately 5 g. The benefit of MSM will be enhanced by a diet high in vitamin C or with additional vitamin C supplements. You may also use MSM externally to carry other nutrients or remedies into the skin. With arthritis or connective tissue problems or generally for skin rejuvenation, you may dissolve glucosamine, copper salicylate, sodium ascorbate, magnesium chloride and MSM in a small amount of (warm) water and aloe vera gel and rub it into the affected area, although DMSO is more effective for skin absorption. MSM in amounts of 10 to 20 grams in addition to several teaspoons of DMSO can be used as an alternative oxygen supply system to greatly increase energy. For details see Increase Your Energy. Caution: Individuals who are sensitive to sulphites (often used as preservative) also may react to MSM and DMSO. This is usually due to a deficiency of molybdenum and can be overcome with supplementation (try 500 mcg). 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Mentor ang Posted October 29, 2015 Mentor Share Posted October 29, 2015 Well will give it a go............ my skin is horrific, been thru a three week horrific wave, and wanted drugs, any damn drugs, please, but held off, and the wave is passing, (I damn hope!). So my boss is paying me only $15 an hour, so got advice, he should be paying me $22.00 an hour............. Too much for me............... I just so hope, only another 6 weeks, I might be able to get a damn loan, and a home, and run my rare plant business, and GET A LIFE! But god, so many disappointments, I dont dare hope my life may finally being dragging its sorry arse from the abyss. I want hugs from everyone, please............................ if I get this loan, a new life, I dragged my sorry arse from the depths......................... but also how do I cope, if yet again, it becomes just another pile of poo? 1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression. Serotonin syndrome, oh yes! seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol. Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly) pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby). 98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout.... Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol, and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg tegretol 400mg. Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.Mid 15 .... 75mg seroquel, 3 x 1800mg SJW 2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW:::: 28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::; 18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump. 23/9 3mg....., 27/9 0mg. Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg............. LIGHTBULB MOMENT, I have MTHFR 2x mutations. CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it. Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues. Link to comment
Mentor ang Posted October 29, 2015 Mentor Share Posted October 29, 2015 Tell me dear Fresh, where do I buy it........... I am so much used to being a lab rat, and an honest one......................... if it helps me, it does. 1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression. Serotonin syndrome, oh yes! seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol. Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly) pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby). 98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout.... Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol, and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg tegretol 400mg. Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.Mid 15 .... 75mg seroquel, 3 x 1800mg SJW 2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW:::: 28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::; 18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump. 23/9 3mg....., 27/9 0mg. Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg............. LIGHTBULB MOMENT, I have MTHFR 2x mutations. CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it. Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues. Link to comment
Mentor ang Posted October 29, 2015 Mentor Share Posted October 29, 2015 and you selling your tms thingy? let me know, where do I buy one/ I am getting better, I know it, but getting better, is agony, every step of the way, regaining my brain, is agony, as every step of the way, I have to admit, my failures on the drugs.............. I want my self esteem back, I want my life back.................. help welcome. 1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression. Serotonin syndrome, oh yes! seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol. Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly) pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby). 98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout.... Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol, and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg tegretol 400mg. Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.Mid 15 .... 75mg seroquel, 3 x 1800mg SJW 2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW:::: 28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::; 18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump. 23/9 3mg....., 27/9 0mg. Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg............. LIGHTBULB MOMENT, I have MTHFR 2x mutations. CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it. Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted October 29, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 29, 2015 I bought the MSM and the Sota BioTuner where I buy everything Ang . . . ebay . 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Prestorb Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Organic sulfur crystals, nice, will have to check this out! So sorry to read of the loss of your young friend Fresh, so very sad. We just never know what is around the corner, do we? And no matter how well we might be feeling, these life events can set us back in our recovery. But I think that is very normal and we just have to give ourselves time to recover - again. Glad to see you are beginning to recover and feeling a little better, I know your friend would want that for you. Just wanted to stop by and say hi - I love your zest and optimism for life and all the cool stuff you post! (((HUGS))) 2005-2009, Lexapro 10 - 20 mg, CT WD w/severe depression and anxiety: 2010-2015, Paxil, 30 - 40 mg, tapered off at 10 mg/week, moderate anxiety and depression: 2010-2015, Clonozapam 0.25 mg, as needed for anxiety and sleep: 1/10/2015, Zoloft 25 mg, tried to increase to 50 and 75, but nausea and dizziness: 2/13/2015, Paxil 5 mg, added back after 2 weeks at zero to reduce WD: 2/28/2015, Paxil 10 mg, increased from 5 mg to reduce WD, HOLDING: 3/04/2015, Zoloft discontinued (reduced to ~12.5 mg on 2/19, ~6.25 mg on 2/26, then zero): 4/26/2015, Paxil starting 10% taper (no scale so was inadvertently at 20% taper, yikes!): 4/30/2015, Paxil 10 mg, reinstated (WD disappeared between August 2015 and May 2016) 5/02/2016, Started 10% taper, reinstated to 10 mg on 5/11/16: 4/29/2017, Last dose of Paxil (working with holistic psychiatrist, lots of supplements to aid WD): Primary symptoms: apathy, demotivation, anhedonia, fatigue, stress intolerance, moderate social anxiety 7/1/2018 Finally feeling like myself again, success!!! Praise God! Even with the stress of relocating recently, I am feeling pretty good most of the time now. Granted, I eat healthy, I exercise, I don't drink caffeine or alcohol and I try hard find a healthy balance of quiet and social times. Hang in there and keep the faith, you can do it too! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted October 30, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 30, 2015 Hi Prestorb! Good to see you , thanks for your words. Yes , it's all go on Planet Fresh now that I've recovered from my too-big cut. I had to find my limit , and life-events happen when they happen. I invested in my first mandala/design colouring book last week , and I'm really enjoying it. Simple yet effective , when I'm colouring in the intricate designs all other thoughts are excluded. Next week the Derwent pencils and the spirograph set arrive . . . woo-hoo . 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted October 31, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 31, 2015 Is the MSM still working well Fresh? I'm really interested, since it's had such a good benefit for you. Worth a shot I think. What amount are you taking? I see it recommends starting at 1g, so I'll do that. And thanks for the birthday wishes you left on my thread... Hugs, Karen 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted November 1, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 1, 2015 Hiya Karen , yes the MSM experiment is still going. I started with 2mg a day. Then I had 2 days where I weighed the wrong amount and took 0.2 mg , and now I'm taking 2mg twice a day. It's an unusual sensation for me. It doesn't give a racy , energized feeling like coffee or stimulants. It's more a lack of fatigue and an ability to focus better , so that I don't need to lay down and rest after 45 minutes of doing something. I sit on the floor alot with the computer on the coffee table , and my knees and hips haven't been paining me when I uncurl to stand up since the MSM (and it's only a week). I plan to continue increasing the dose slowly up to 8mg. On the social front , I'm back to one or two new things a week. I went to a show/concert and had a blast - granted Cheeky and I hung out backstage before the show , and spent most of it stage left behind the drapes , but we went out into the audience and mixed with the crowd and danced and it was so much fun! (Thanks Cheekster!) I was given a baby scoby , and have made it a new home for it in the kitchen. Another dependent . . . we'll see if I'm up for it. Big things , small things , it's all part of me getting well , and I'm liking it . 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Cheeky Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Fresh, I had a great time, your truly one in a million. Love you lots and love your strength . Thankyou for always being there xxxc 1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg 2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg of Seroquel Through the years made many mistakes tapering Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 7.5% per month Paxil 9% Seroquel doing daily micro-taper Guided by Mark Horowitz 31/3/24 Paxil 10.31mg 31/3/24 Seroquel 9.9mg Link to comment
chicken Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Fresh, Keep us posted on the MSM. If it works out for you, I may try it. Sounds like something good. I'm still on the vinegar and Molasses for my PH. It is working out well. Glad to see you are doing well. Prozac 1999-2009 quit semi cold turkey. 2012 Placed on Seroquel 25 mg, Tranxene (Clorezepate) 3.75 mg 3x a day, Remeron 30 mg for anxiety/akathesia. Weaned off Seroquel and Tranxene .to Remeron 15 Mg. In May 2014 tried quitting Remeron at its lowest dose. Had severe withdrawals.Reinstated Remeron at 30 mg by doctor. August 5 2014 entered hospital. Doctor pulled the Remeron and bridged it to Pamelor (Nortriptyline) 40mg and Zyprexa 2.5mg.After removing the Remeron all my bad symptoms went away and I am stable. 9/11/14 - 7.5 mg tranxene, 40mg Pamelor, Zyprexa 2.5mg 12/29/14 - 20mg Pamelor, 1/6/15, 7/31/15 3.5mg, 8/10/15 3.2 mg, 9/15/15 2.2mg, 10/15/15 1.8mg (Feb 2016 - 1.4mg Pamelor only - OFF OF TRANXENE AND ZYPREXA SINCE DEC 2014 BENZO FREE Since 2014. Nortrityline (Pamelor) .8mg Aug 2016 March 2017 DRUG FREE Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted November 1, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 1, 2015 Thanks Fresh for your uplift. That sounds so great........stage left dancing behind the curtain!! Oh, the crowd dancing is cool too.......sometimes I just do hand signal stuff.......lol........if it is a big crowd or fairly packed standing............it's been awhile too.......... The kitchen slide is okay for now and some guitar plucking. May my courage stay up and I can go jam on Weds. evenings.......note to self: remember to go this week! Been meaning to study your introduction too chicken. Are you trying to acidify or alkalize? I'm not using too much of my ACV lately and it did occur to me that it must be acidifying? Not so sure about much though, lately.........will read more soon.......... Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
calithebold Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Hi Fresh I'm so glad that things are still going really well for you, it's great to hear. Sarah All medications:: Xanax (1995-96), Aropax (1995-96), Mellaril (1997-2000), Efexor (1997-2002), Seroquel (2000-now), Lithium Carbonate (2000-now), Avanza (2002-05), Epilim (2005), Seroquel-XR (2000-now), Zyprexa (2002-14), Raberprazole (2000-now prn), Crestor (2009-15), Gabapentin (2009-12), Lamictal (2010-now), Abilify (2011-now) Lyrica (2012-now), Diazepam (2010-now prn), Saphris (2014), Respiridone (2014), Chlorpromazine (2014) Neulatil (07/2016) Current medications: Lithium Carbonate 750mg; Seroquel-XR 600mg, 800mg 04/16, 600mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 200mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 500mg 04/16; Lamictal 250mg 200mg150mg 04/16; Lyrica 300mg; Abilify 20mg 30mg 11/15 Zoloft 25mg 04/16 ceased after a week due to severe suicidal thoughts; Seroquel 25mg prn; Diazepam 40mg CT Jan 2013, 5mg occasionally, (massive med changes in April 2016 due to a hospital admission). Supplements: Fish oil 4000mg, Magnesium 100mg , Niacinamide 1000mg, Slippery Elm 800mg , B12 1000mcg, Zinc 50mg, B6 100mg, Vitamin D 2000IU, Calcium 1200mg, P5P 100mg, Vitamin C 2000mg, Vitamin E 400IU Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Hi Fresh, Are you still doing CES therapy on a regular basis? I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted November 2, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2015 Hi Blue , yes I'm still doing CES therapy. I've been having 2 x 20 mins. sessions about 2 days on then 2/3 days off. Are you considering trying yours again before you start tapering? 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
KLA324 Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 Hi Fresh - thanks for stopping by and posting on my thread! Are you still taking the MSM? I saw some in the store the other day and considered purchasing but wanted to see how it was going with your dose. Karen 1999-Wellbutrin for anxiety/depression-CT after less than 1 yr with no prob 2000-2010-AD (can't remember which) a few times for a few months-CT each time with no prob 2012 - Ambien (sleep) and Propanolol (public speaking anxiety) Jan 2013 - Apr 2014 - Sertraline (25, then 50mg) Ambien after bout with depression Apr 2014 - Apr 2015 - Sertraline 100mg and Amitriptylene 25mg-CT in May/June. Did notice increased anxiety, moodiness. Aug/Sept 2015 - Trazodone 50mg (11 days for sleep), Phentermine 37.5mg 11 days), Tramadol 50mg (2 days for kidney stone pain) Oct 2nd - CT from Trazodone and Phentermine - CRASHED 2 days later. Severe depression, anxiety, constant crying RI Oct 15th - Citalopram 10mg daily, Vitamin D, Fish Oil Capsule, Magnesium, Simply Sleep at night. Will start weaning 11/15 if stable. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted November 5, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 5, 2015 The MSM is going fine , I'm taking 2 x 4mg a day. On Tuesday I went into town to the hairdresser , and it was so much easier than last time I went. Still a big deal for me , but the fact that I managed it way better is reflective of the fact that everything is getting easier as the months go by. There IS recovery folks !! My main research in the past week has been focussed on avoiding antibiotics with COLLOIDAL SILVER. Silver water has been used for thousands of years , and the pure silver in it kills bacteria. I'm swishing 4 times a day and what I think is a dental abscess has stopped hurting and is disappearing. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I don't know Fresh, I tried it for so long and it doesn't seem to help in my case. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
KLA324 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Fresh - the dental issues must be painful. OUCH! Thank you for the update on the MSM. I will let you know how I do after taking a few times. Hope you're having a "clear window" day, Karen 1999-Wellbutrin for anxiety/depression-CT after less than 1 yr with no prob 2000-2010-AD (can't remember which) a few times for a few months-CT each time with no prob 2012 - Ambien (sleep) and Propanolol (public speaking anxiety) Jan 2013 - Apr 2014 - Sertraline (25, then 50mg) Ambien after bout with depression Apr 2014 - Apr 2015 - Sertraline 100mg and Amitriptylene 25mg-CT in May/June. Did notice increased anxiety, moodiness. Aug/Sept 2015 - Trazodone 50mg (11 days for sleep), Phentermine 37.5mg 11 days), Tramadol 50mg (2 days for kidney stone pain) Oct 2nd - CT from Trazodone and Phentermine - CRASHED 2 days later. Severe depression, anxiety, constant crying RI Oct 15th - Citalopram 10mg daily, Vitamin D, Fish Oil Capsule, Magnesium, Simply Sleep at night. Will start weaning 11/15 if stable. Link to comment
Mort81 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Hey Fresh just stopping by hope your doing well! your a bit of an inspiration for me being on a similiar drug and doing so well! I was curious just wanted to pick your brain , I know your askathisia has gone away which is great ! but I was wondering if you got random panic and anxiety attacks from the lexapro WD ? Ive been in a bit of a pickle latley . I had very minor anxiety throughtout WD until last Thursday and Wham! out of nowhere 14 months off the damn Lexapro and I got nailed ! Its actually letting up alot tonight but just wanted some reassurance . Talk soon Mort Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted November 12, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 12, 2015 Dental update: abscess disappeared after swishing with COLLOIDAL SILVER regularly. Check it out for maintaining dental health and treating problems - it kills all bacteria in the mouth , and is absorbed sublingually. Available at healthfood stores , or you can make your own I bought some and now have also made my own cause the process was fun. Mort , I never really stopped lexapro - it was replaced by cymbalta. So I haven't been "clean" the way you are now. From what you described on your thread , the escalation that bumped your fatigue away has un-dampened (very technical term) your brain , hence thoughts increasing 100 fold and anxiety. I do get periods where symptoms fluctuate like that , but to a lesser degree. Sit it out as best you can. you know it will pass. You may find doing some relaxation/distraction exercises helps , magnesium , all the relaxing things you didn't need when you were too relaxed. New problems , new solutions. I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately , so have had to do some adjusting. Until now I've had posts from this site coming by email , so i felt like I was following people's situations without even logging in , which was great. But lately it's too much for me - I feel kind of exhausted from reading too many posts. And as a consequence I've hardly been writing. So like everything else , I'll keep working towards a healthy balance . . . Current regime: mornings , MSM (organic sulphur crystals) 4mg and 2 drops lemon essential oil in hot water. 1 coffee with 1 teaspoon coconut oil mid/late afternoon , MSM 4mg , another coconut coffee Essential oils hormone balance blend: basil , clary sage , lemongrass and geranium Overall , I'm definitely continuing to improve. I went to an art exhibition opening last night and wasn't anxious at all , it was fun. I did take my dog-in-a-frock (yes , I probably have Canine Dependency Syndrome) and she delighted so many people , it made it easier for me. I'm beginning to get an old confidence back in social situations. I felt I looked good , not sickly and frail , which is how a woman wants to feel. About bloody time , lol !! 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted November 12, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 12, 2015 "she delighted so many people , it made it easier for me. I'm beginning to get an old confidence back in social situations. I felt I looked good , not sickly and frail , which is how a woman wants to feel. About bloody time , lol !!" That's really great to hear. "But lately it's too much for me - I feel kind of exhausted from reading too many posts. And as a consequence I've hardly been writing. So like everything else , I'll keep working towards a healthy balance . . ." Yes, I agree, it can affect us. I'm glad you have recognised it and are doing something about it. Best wishes. CC * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Mort81 Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Fresh thanks for the reassurance and don't worry I understand about getting overwhelmed! Sometimes its best to take long breaks from reading and focusing hard. I forgot you weren't completely off the Lexapro but nonetheless your inspiring as you continue to improve. Glad you are enjoying social events now it must be so nice! I am also so glad that you are happy with how you are looking because I can relate to this so much. I felt I looked frail and sickly for a long time. Happy Healing Mort Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg Link to comment
starburst Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately , so have had to do some adjusting. Until now I've had posts from this site coming by email , so i felt like I was following people's situations without even logging in , which was great. But lately it's too much for me - I feel kind of exhausted from reading too many posts. And as a consequence I've hardly been writing. So like everything else , I'll keep working towards a healthy balance . . . Current regime: mornings , MSM (organic sulphur crystals) 4mg and 2 drops lemon essential oil in hot water. 1 coffee with 1 teaspoon coconut oil mid/late afternoon , MSM 4mg , another coconut coffee Essential oils hormone balance blend: basil , clary sage , lemongrass and geranium I had to move my notifications from here to my spam box. I just couldn't deal with reading so much every day. I take on board too much and it has a deep affect on me. Good on you for realising that and doing something about it. I will have to go back and read through some of your 'helps' advise. I am not aware of MSM or CES but will probably know more after I google them!! I just went to the hairdressers which was a brave thing for me to do. The last time I went was two years ago. On the way out I passed a health store and was tempted to go in and find some 'miracle cure' but thought better of it. I have always loved essential oils though and am a long time coconut oil convert so I can relate there. Take care, continue to blossom and bloom x Link to comment
Flowers Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Hi Fresh Thanks for your reply and taking time to read my post. I am comforted that you always give me valuable advice. I think you are probably right that it is time to taper. I am getting other side effects such as visual disturbances and brain fog which prompted me to ask my Dr to take me off the drug in the first place. Of course he told me to come off too quickly and I ended up in WD. This drug is not doing me any good but it is always a big decision when to taper so I appreciate all advice/feedback. I am on a long road trip back to UK next week so won't start anything until I return. I am wondering if my anxiety regarding this is ramping up my symptoms! I have been mulling things over with my husand this morning and he pointed out that as I have felt a lot better recently, I had a couple of glasses of wine last week - my first for a long long time. Maybe this hasn't helped also. I know it is bad to consume alcohol in WD but I am only human and therefore make mistakes. Not going to touch another drop now! How are things with you Fresh? Hugs xxxxxxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted November 21, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 21, 2015 Haha , yes , we're all only human. I've just gotten back on board after my last too-big decrement , and I don't think I'll be doing that again. I need to keep myself as good as I can be . . . meetings with lawyers etc. , w/d symptoms will make that more difficult. I'm sitting tight on 25mg for now , but am considering micro-tapering when I resume in the new year. I just can't have any fun when I have w/d symptoms - my mood isn't in the right place to enjoy anything. So the focus remains on nutrition , sun-seeking and regaining buns of steel. Favourite new face mask/scrub: himalayan rock salt and raw honey , for clear , silky soft skin. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
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