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erer

erer: CT from Cymbalta and in trouble with Zyprexa, Diazepam and Valdoxan

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rapunzel2

I'm very happy to hear that olanzapine 5% cut went ok!

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erer
I have almost completely begun to believe, that when something seems to be going well, then I should avoid stating it. 

 

When I was writing the last post, that indicated that I have been doing relatively well with my cut, it was crashing into an enormous wave just then. It was the 4th day I had not been feeling well and I was then still hoping things would turn around by the same evening. They didn't. 

 

I have been trying to find reasons why since Friday my life has been a living hell. My fingers don't even bend to write what is going on, I'll just say that I am scared and overwhelmed by what is happening to me.

I have come to believe that it has to have something to do with the 5 days of indigestion I experienced before it got really horrible. Perhaps the drugs didn't metabolise correctly then. This is my hypothesis. The feelings are very similar to what was happening to me when my drugs froze.

 

Now my digestion has been fine for 3 days, just hoping and praying that I will start feeling better soon. Needless to say I did not cut Olansapine on Friday.

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rapunzel2

oh, I'm so sorry to hear that! indigestion can do that, I think. I hope it will stabilize quickly!

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erer

Thanks, I hope so too. Right now things are really bad.

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erer

Making a 10% Olanzapine cut tonight. It has been 5,5 weeks since the last cut.

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erer

To my surprise, when returning to the site after months I found that someone had written to me asking if I was ok (for I had not posted for so long).

Just to check in - I am still here :)

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rapunzel2

Good to know that you are here and have been able to go down to 1,4 mg with olanzapine

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erer

Just a note to self - took my last dose of Olanzapine yesterday. No Olanzapine tonight. Feels strange. Also feeling happy.

 

Next step - confronting my psychiatrist next week to tell her I am no longer on Olanzapine and asking for liquid Diazepam.

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Altostrata

Good for you, erer. Progress, slow but steady!

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wantrelief

I read your thread, erer, and you have been through so much. You are such a strong and persistent person. Congratulations for successfully tapering off of olanzapine, that is quite an accomplishment and very inspiring! :) 

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erer

Thank you, altostrata and wantrelief.

I am still not ready to say anything - I need enough time to have passed, before I feel that I can comment on the olanzapine taper that is now hopefully forever in the past. But if enough time has passed, I will comment on my experience. I have lots to say :) And I think so far hopeful and encouraging things.

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erer

His is what I wrote to the "Tipsof tapering off Olanzapine" thread. Thought it would be relevant to add it here as well.

I came here to say, that I am beginning to feel that it IS possible to get off it.

It has been 6 months since my last dose of Olanzapine.

 

It was hell. Taking the drug was hell. Tapering was hell. Being without Olanzapine is wonderful! I will not get into detail, but being at home for 3 years, not able to work, severely  agoraphobic, fighting for my life every single day, I started getting my life back piece by piece with every drop in Olanzapine. I would say I started to feel better after dropping below 1,4 mg. 

This whole time I used orodispersible tablets that I "dissolved" in 20 ml of water, stirring the water constantly I pulled it into a 20 ml syringe. Shaking the syringe constantly I pressed the excess liquid out (and never stored it for another time!).

 

I am happy to share my experience with anyone who wants to ask me something about it. Best of luck and all my best wishes to everyone who is tapering, about to taper or dreaming about tapering :)

 

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Altostrata

Thanks so much, erer! Very glad to hear you're doing well off olanzapine.

 

What are you taking now?

 

 

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erer
39 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Thanks so much, erer! Very glad to hear you're doing well off olanzapine.

 

What are you taking now?

 

 

 

My signature is up to date. I am taking 25 mg Valdoxan and 3,85 mg Diazepam (11 drops of the liquid).

Going down somewhat on my Diazepam due to memory problems and other side effects associated to Duazepam so I can start tapering Valdoxan.

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IanM
On 10/13/2018 at 12:37 PM, erer said:

Olanzapine is an evil drug. Indescribably evil.

But I came here to say, that I am beginning to feel that it IS possible to get off it.

It has been 6 months since my last dose of Olanzapine.

 

It was hell. Taking the drug was hell. Tapering was hell. Being without Olanzapine is wonderful! I will not get into detail, but being at home for 3 years, not able to work, severely  agoraphobic, fighting for my life every single day, I started getting my life back piece by piece with every drop in Olanzapine. I would say I started to feel better after dropping below 1,4 mg. 

This whole time I used orodispersible tablets that I "dissolved" in 20 ml of water, stirring the water constantly I pulled it into a 20 ml syringe. Shaking the syringe constantly I pressed the excess liquid out (and never stored it for another time!).

 

I am happy to share my experience with anyone who wants to ask me something about it. Best of luck and all my best wishes to everyone who is tapering, about to taper or dreaming about tapering :)

 

 

 

Hello erer. So glad to read your story, as mine parallels yours almost exactly. I have been on various doses of Olanzapine for over a year, and am currently at 2.5mg for the last three months or so. I am deeply agorophobic and have been pretty much completely housebound for almost a year. And the 'head' aspect of being on the drug continues to threaten my life... deep, dark depression on a level that words cannot properly describe, along with bouts of horrible rage that take every ounce of my soul to control.

I would really like to hear more of your story, and what symtoms you had and how you coped with them. I'm feeling hopeless and desperate at the moment, and looking for hopeful lifelines.

Thanks.

Edit: could you provide more details about your taper, like how much your drops were and how frequently? 

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Spideygsm
1 hour ago, IanM said:

And the 'head' aspect of being on the drug continues to threaten my life... deep, dark depression on a level that words cannot properly describe, along with bouts of horrible rage that take every ounce of my soul to control.

IanM,

 

Sounds so familiar. I was on Zyprexa for 15 years. Started at 2.5 mg and got up as high as 30mg. I was put in the awful drug to control Mania Psychosis. It helped and also helped with other issues when I was first put on the drug while hospitalized in 2003. However, the entire time I took the drug experienced bad depression because I hated how the drug made me feel. I also had really bad insomnia. I felt too sedated and my body resisted that feeling. 

 

In in a nutshell, while in Zyprexa my depression was horrible, anger issues, insomnia, anxiety. However, as I went up in dose I started getting negative physical sides as well. High cholesterol, high liver panels, high blood pressure, and pre-diabetes just to name a few. 

 

My Doctor took me off the drug very quickly do to my physical side effects. It was horrible. The worst withdrawals occurred after I got to and went below 2.5mg. My last dose was over 6 months ago. I feel much better. I’m not 100% but I don’t have the over medicated feeling while on Zyprexa. I still have pretty bad insomnia (which I’ve had most of my life, just not this bad), I have an uncontrollable twitch in my head which I’ve never had before, my eyes will twitch and blink hard and uncontrolled. My Doctor said this might be temporary since it started about a month ago and said it is probably a side effect from the Zyprexa. I never realized how many things Zyprexa effects in the body. Sleep, central nervous system, digestion, weight, fatigue...

 

I’m slowly recovering. I believe it would have been best to be able to taper slower. Can’t look backwards. I would rather live with what I call minor inconveniences now than how I felt on Zyprexa. Since getting off the drug I have much more energy, I’ve lost 40 lbs, all of my bloodwork is normal, and I can think. 

 

The thing that’s helped me the most is exercise, water, and eating better. For me, getting the endorphins going helps me feel so much better. Even if for only a few hours a day feeling whatever normal means. 

 

I could write a book and this is already too long. Sorry erer for stepping in. I just wanted to say something positive and wish you both luck

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IanM

Hi erer. I made the above post without knowing about the accounting of your long, harrowing experience outlined in this thread. It's quite a ride you've had, and I'm so pleased you may be/are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.

Would you say that it was the olanzapine that caused all of your distress? I sure feel that way about my situation, which is still acute and life-threatening. 

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IanM
16 minutes ago, Spideygsm said:

IanM,

 

Sounds so familiar. I was on Zyprexa for 15 years. Started at 2.5 mg and got up as high as 30mg. I was put in the awful drug to control Mania Psychosis. It helped and also helped with other issues when I was first put on the drug while hospitalized in 2003. However, the entire time I took the drug experienced bad depression because I hated how the drug made me feel. I also had really bad insomnia. I felt too sedated and my body resisted that feeling. 

 

In in a nutshell, while in Zyprexa my depression was horrible, anger issues, insomnia, anxiety. However, as I went up in dose I started getting negative physical sides as well. High cholesterol, high liver panels, high blood pressure, and pre-diabetes just to name a few. 

 

My Doctor took me off the drug very quickly do to my physical side effects. It was horrible. The worst withdrawals occurred after I got to and went below 2.5mg. My last dose was over 6 months ago. I feel much better. I’m not 100% but I don’t have the over medicated feeling while on Zyprexa. I still have pretty bad insomnia (which I’ve had most of my life, just not this bad), I have an uncontrollable twitch in my head which I’ve never had before, my eyes will twitch and blink hard and uncontrolled. My Doctor said this might be temporary since it started about a month ago and said it is probably a side effect from the Zyprexa. I never realized how many things Zyprexa effects in the body. Sleep, central nervous system, digestion, weight, fatigue...

 

I’m slowly recovering. I believe it would have been best to be able to taper slower. Can’t look backwards. I would rather live with what I call minor inconveniences now than how I felt on Zyprexa. Since getting off the drug I have much more energy, I’ve lost 40 lbs, all of my bloodwork is normal, and I can think. 

 

The thing that’s helped me the most is exercise, water, and eating better. For me, getting the endorphins going helps me feel so much better. Even if for only a few hours a day feeling whatever normal means. 

 

I could write a book and this is already too long. Sorry erer for stepping in. I just wanted to say something positive and wish you both luck

 

Thanks, Spideygsm. How fast did you come off the drug? 

I agree that exercising is good, but unfortunately, it makes my symptoms much, much worse. The best I can do is light stretching and continuous breathing exercises.

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Spideygsm

IanM,

 

Long story. Please visit my intro post 

 

I don’t want to take over erer’s topic. Please feel to ask questions in my post or send me a message if you want to keep it private.

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