success Aissela: my story

[Aissela]

Link to Success Story:

 

aissela-back-to-life

 

Hi, first of all I'm sorry for my english, I'm italian but I'll do my best. I'm 23 and I was put on fluvoxamine in July 2013, to treat my ocd. I took the med Just for 6 months but it was enough to cause me an horrible withdrawal. Exactly a month after my cold turkey I started to experience the following symptoms: nausea, weight loss, 3/4 panic attacks every day, depression, mood swing, nightmares, light sensitivity, confusion, digestive issues, numbness and others... I wasn't able to drive, go out, have a normal conversation or doing anything at all. At that time I didn't know anything about withdrawal and I thought I had a terrible disease. Then I asked my doctors what was going on and He said I was just bipolar. Three months later he put me on Paxil and I felt better for a while. I've been on Paxil for other 6/7 months and then decide to quit because of my ipomanic state. And again, after a month everything restarted. So, I decide this couldn't be a bipolar disorder and did some research on the web and fortunately I found this forum. Now everything is clear for me and I can face my withdrawal knowing what I'm struggling with. I'm on month 6 now and symptoms had lessen a lot, especially after month 4, no more anxiety or mood swing, I can go out, eat properly, drive and do things. Unfortunately I feel like i'm not back to the old me, I have a small pssd, emotional blunting, loss of sense of humor and low intelligence. I'm not able to emphasize with people or animals and to feel romantic love. This is really scary, but I want to stay positive, because things are improving very fastly for me compared with other horror stories I read about. I hope that one day my situation will be one of those succes stories, but until then I want to share my experience and be helpful for others.

 

 

Edited July 10, 2022 by ChessieCat
addede link

[Petunia]

Welcome Aissela

I'm glad you found us and thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you are recovering nicely and I'm sure you will be back to your usual self in a little more time.

 

Your English is fine by the way.

 

How long ago did you stop taking Paxil and what dose were you on?

 

It would be great if you would put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature. Doing this helps people understand your context, it appears below each of your posts. Here are instructions for how to do it:

 

http://survivinganti...your-signature/

 

The best I can offer by way of advice is to listen to your body and avoid those things that set off symptoms as much as possible. Aside from a high quality fish oil and magnesium, avoid supplements. (See King of Supplements: Omega 3 Fatty Acids (Fish Oil) and Magnesium, Nature's Calcium Channel Blocker). They've been helpful to many of us. 

 

Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually. Feel free to write whenever you want, you will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petunia.

[Aissela]

Thank you for the reply.

 

I stopped taking paxil on february 2015 and withdrawal started a month later. Fortunately I was only on 10mg because I'm really sensitive to any kind of medicine, so doctor decided to put me on a small dosage.

 

However, because of the insomnia induced by the ssri, he gave me also some benzos and I'm afraid I have to face another terrible withdrawl.

 

I can't still believe what has happened to me. I trusted my doctor and psychiatry in general, I thought they could really help people, but they've just ruined my mind.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Aissela.

 

Yes, you will also need to taper off the benzo. But for now, it's important to let your nervous system recover from the antidepressant withdrawal. This may take some months.

 

How often do you take the benzo, what is it, and at what dosage? When the time comes to taper it, you might look here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/29-members-only-benzo-tapering-discussion/

[Aissela]

Thank you for the reply altostrata.

 

I took Xanax 0.50 mg and britozolam 0.25, every day for more than a year. I've already started the tapering 5 months ago and now I'm taking 1/4 of the initial dosage. I've planed to stop in October and I hope it is enough to avoid withdrawal. For the first time since March I'm feeling quite well and I don't want to suffer again.

 

I have a question for you. Here in Italy there aren't any website about Ssri long term effects and obviously Doctors deny the existence of the withdrawal syndrome. I've been lucky because I found this website, but a lot of Italians can't understand English and I think they deserve to know the truth about this evil meds. Can I create a small website using the information I've found here? Thank you.

[Altostrata]

Yes, you may as long as you credit the author of a post and SurvivingAntidepressants.org

[Aissela]

I was doing quite well with my withdrawal symptoms, but I couldn't feel love or easily empathize with people and I was still suffering of pssd. Because of all this, my boyfriend left me and the symptoms worsened again. I'm on month seven now and I feel hopeless, I'm not able to face the stress for the end of my relationship, I have no defense, no ego, no self esteem, I'm nothing. I have to go on with my life, especially university, but actually I can't. So, is it stupid at this point of the journey to restore a low dosage of the drug, like 2-3 mg and then try a slow taper? I'm afraid that doing this I will do more damage to my brain or that I'll have to face another withdrawal quitting the drug. Is this a good or a bad idea? Thank you.

[Petunia]

Hi Aissela,

 

I joined the new topic you started with your original one, its one intro/update topic per member. You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want. Please bookmark or follow it so its easy to find.

 

I'm so sorry that your boyfriend left you because you were not well, that really says more about the kind of person he is, than you. You are better off without someone like that in your life. You will find someone else much nicer.

 

We generally wouldn't recommend trying to reinstate at 7 months off, there's no guarantee it would work and it might make you feel worse. Is there any way you could get some counseling, or find someone to talk to about the ending of your relationship. Its much better to deal with loss and sadness with healthy non-drug methods.

 

It would be great if you would put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature. Doing this helps people understand your context, it appears below each of your posts. Here are instructions for how to do it:

 

http://survivinganti...your-signature/

[Aissela]

I'm having an horrible wave of depression, I feel like I want to die. Is it normal to have this at month 7? Thank You.

[starburst]

Hi Aissela and welcome to the forum. I am sorry that you are having a bad day. I am no expert but I do believe what you are experiencing is withdrawal symptoms. Do you have a coping mechanism that helps when this kind of thing happens? It is different for everyone but I find that Journaling helps me, also reading my bible and going swimming. Sometimes I go on youtube and watch some cooking or gardening videos. I just try to keep myself busy and take my mind off the anxiety. Everyone is different. I really hope the day gets better for you x

[Altostrata]

Aissela, did you try fish oil and magnesium, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

What we see is that healing is very, very gradual. Do what you can to stay calm and enjoy small things, this helps your nervous system to heal.

[Aissela]

I'm currently using magnesium but I'd like to try fish oil. However, even if I'm depressed now, my sexuality is partially back. I'm thinking about sex several times during the day and this is just incredible because sex was no longer part of my life/mind. My anhedonia is also improving a little, but it is like 10% of the old me.

[Altostrata]

These are good signs. Healing is very slow, and frustrating at times.

 

See The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

[Aissela]

Is it true that anhedonia is the long lasting symptom of WD? Is it directly linked to PSSD?

[Altostrata]

Emotional anesthesia is a common side effect of psychiatric drugs and can last for quite a while after quitting. There is no particular association with PSSD.

[ChessieCat]

Link to Success Story:

 

aissela-back-to-life