Natedw1: Struggling off of meds please help

[Natedw1]

Hi, i have been on celexa since summer 2011 and i have been tapering off of 40mg since january 2015. Cut down 5mg every month or 2 depending on how i felt. So i made it to january 2016 feeling stable on the 10mg. Heres where things get crazy. I went to a new doctor in the beginning of February to ask for help with the taper going down. She told me to take the 10mg every other day for 2 weeks then stop because she likes to do a quick taper. My last 10mg pill was around feb 15th.

 

I felt alot of head zaps, dizziness, and weird cognitive feelings throught the process and i called her in a panic and she convinced me i was depressed still and gave me zoloft 50mg and ativan .50 as needed. I took it in a panic and 3 days in i had to stop, it made me feel like i drank 100 cups of coffee.

 

So I started taking my wifes liquid celexa to taper because i was fed up with ssris. I ran out of pills so this was all i had. I took the liquid for maybe 2 weeks at 2.5mg doses. My next apt came up and i felt low mood and spacy, but i was managing. She convinced me again it was just depression coming back and prescribed me lexapro 10mg because they have less side effects than celexa.

 

So i took that for 3 days and that same feeling i had when i decided to quit a year ago came over me. I felt dead, emotionless, just not human so i stopped and i have not taken anything for 6 days now. Ive been having on again off again crying spells, i feel like i am living in a cartoon world. I keep readimg stories online of permanent damage from ssris and i go into a major panic/crying state.

 

I really need some advice on what to do, since my doctor is useless and no help. Should i just stay off now that has been 6 days? If i stay off now would i gett though this sooner than restarting a taper? Id like to just get this over with and not prolonge it if i can. If i tapered where do i start at? Any help i would greatly appretiate ! P.s.i really think reading stories online is making things worse for me but i just want to get knowledge on this so i can get off these pills for good. Thanks!!!

[Ali4]

Welcome to SA,

 

You have found a great forum with lots of help, iam another coming off celexa, Ben on ten years doctor tapered me over a month, with in 2 weeks all hell broke loose and I had to reinstate, to aleviate wd symptoms get stable and go slow, it has left me in mental dissaray, if I were you I would reinstate a small dose so you don't go through it, then you can take a small taper. One of the mods will be along soon to give you lots to read and go through, hang in there. Ali.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Natedw

 

Welcome to SA.  Very glad you found the forum.  As Ali said, there is lots of help.  I'm going to give you some links to read to get you started.  One of the voluntary staff will suggest which drug to reinstate and what dose you should take.  You can use this Intro/Update Topic to ask any questions you have and to journal your progress.

 

The symptoms you are getting are not unusual, and once you reinstate and get stabilised you should start to feel much better.  Please wait for a suggested drug/dose before taking anything else.

 

To make it easier for staff to make suggestions it would be helpful if you could Please put your Withdrawal History in Signature  Please include ALL drugs, dates, doses and how you decreased/increased.  Having this information will enable the staff to offer their best suggestions based on your individual situation.

 

The drugs we have been taking change our brains, and we need to taper slowly to allow our brains to adjust to not receiving as much of the drug.  These helped me understand this and why reinstatement and a slow taper are recommended by this site:

 

Brain Remodelling

 

Video: Healing from Antidepressants: Patterns of Recovery

 

Introduction to Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Reinstating and Stabilising to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

  How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?  

 

I know these seems a lot of information, but the first 5 links are the ones that are probably the most helpful.  The other 2 I added so that you understand that the not many doctors know about withdrawal.

[Fresh]

Hi Natedw1 , welcome to the site.

".i really think reading stories online is making things worse for me but i just want to get knowledge on this so i can get off these pills for good. Thanks!!! "

 

I'll cut straight to the chase:  the best way to feel better fast is to reinstate celexa.   If your doctor won't provide this , find another doctor.  You tried lexapro and it didn't agree with you , same with zoloft.  Probably the doses were much too high for you.

 

It sounds like when you took liquid celexa at 2,5mg for 2 weeks , things started to settle down.  This is a good dose to start on.

"Low mood and spacy but managing"  is an improvement on how things are now.

 

Are you able to access celexa?

 

bw ,  Fresh

[Natedw1]

If i stay off at this point will i get better faster than if i would restart a taper? If i taper will i just be prolonging getting better? could i not recover properly by not tapering? I do have access to celexa now, i found my wifes 20mg pills plus the liquid celexa i used that my wife had from when she tapered. she got depressed after pregnancy and came off pretty easy. I called my doctor and she is willing to help me do a slow taper also. I am just scared ill start again and then taper and when im done ill still feel like this.

[Ali4]

Things could possibly get worseand fast, your only in the beginning of being off, short time since you dropped it all together, so if you choose to reinstate you will have better chances, but the decision is ultimately yours, I was going too "tough " it out, big mistake on my part, it rapidly went down hill, first week and half I felt great, then I got wiped out. If you choose to reinstate, I would do it sooner rather then later. Ali.

[alldaisy]

Hi Nate,

 

Many people on the forum will help you with their experiences. I have not taken the pills you took, or if I took them I do not remember exactly what happened to me, I believe I was on lexapro time ago. 

 

For me reading about these medications and their side effects, help me a little, but also made me cry a lot. I refused to take my meds and I was really bad, feeling terrible. All the doctors are not the same, for me is important to feel well with my physicians, If you do not feel well, you could look for a different psychiatric. Sometimes we think they are the one with the problem, when in reality it is our illness what do not let us to believe in them. 

 

I would never start a new medication without consulting my doctors or try a new medication without their consent. These psychotropic drugs act on the brain, and since we are not doctors or do not know about how these pills act, we could get even worse. 

[Fresh]

Nated ,  the nature of protracted withdrawal predicts that you WILL get worse , possibly for many many months , before you begin to recover if you don't reinstate.  Many members here are suffering years later after stopping abruptly.

 

You can wait another week or two and see for yourself , but it's not going to be easy.

 

Reinstating gives you the opportunity to stabilize and maintain your life (as you know it) and relationships while you taper slowly and safely.

You might want to read AmyN's thread ... she's in a similar situation to you , reinstated one dose and felt some symptom relief within hours.  

After 10 years on these drugs , your brain has structured itself around their presence , and it needs them to keep on functioning at this point.

[Natedw1]

Thank you so much this is a lot to take in but it makes sence. How long do you reccommend i taper for? Thanks

[Fresh]

It's hard to predict.  You should try and stabilize on the lowest dose possible , so the taper is shorter.

 

If you stabilized on 2.5 mg , you'll want to give yourself a good couple of months to see how good you can get.

(BTW , there's no rush here ... I waited 8 months after reinstating before I started to taper , my history is twice as long as yours)

 

You go down increments of 10% initially , and see if the w/d symptoms are tolerable / bearable / too annoying.  You may decide

from there to do smaller decrease , say 5% , every 2 or 3 weeks.  It's bit of trial and error to see how you react.

Your first cut would be to 2.5mg -0.25mg = 2.25mg.   Then subract 0.22 which is 2.03mg.  Et cetera.

 

It is a lot to take in , specially feeling as you do now.   

[ChessieCat]

AmyN's Intro/Update Topic:  AmyN:  Quit Lexapro 20 mg cold turkey 6 days ago

[Natedw1]

my BIGGEST fear is reinstating and doing a very slow taper, then in a few months when i quit alltogether i will feel EXACTLY as bad as i do now. Then i will feel like If would have just stayed off the celexa all that time i tapered i  would have been fully recovered. This is so scary. am i being silly thinking this, is there a possibility i will be just as sick when the day comes i completely stop? Thanks for all the help and support. dying right now and feel like theres no end in site

[ChessieCat]

Hi Natedw,

 

Many people here understand the indecision you feel at the moment.  It is confusing, overwhelming and scary all in one.  And I know that when I first came here, I felt an urgency in making a decision.   The what if this, what if that?  Unfortunately nobody here (or elsewhere for that matter) can give you a definitive answer on CT vs reinstatement.  However, this site has been going since 2011 and the recommendations made are based on Alto Strata's (Alto is this site's owner) research, many peoples' experiences, cold turkey, too fast tapers, and reinstatements.  In other words, real life situations.  From information that has been gathered, it has been found that in most instances a 10% taper of the previous dose with a hold of 4-6 weeks is the safest way to get of the drug/s with minimal withdrawal symptoms.

 

What can be hard to comprehend when you first come here is that the chemical imbalance is a myth and that it is the drugs we have taken that changed the chemicals in our brains, which our brains then adjusted to in order to compensate for the chemicals that it was/is being given.  If the drug is removed suddenly, the brain goes into a melt-down type of situation, where it is trying to cope with not getting the drug it has been getting.  It is fighting for survival and trying its best to adapt.  Reinstating gives the brain the drug it needs.  After stabilising, a slow taper can be done, taking a little bit of the drug away, hold for 4-6 weeks which gives the brain time to adjust to not getting as much of the drug.  If all is going well and withdrawal symptoms are minimal or non-existent, then the next drop can be done and the process repeated.

 

I understand that it seems like we may never get off the drug, but the alternative of going cold turkey can be a much worse option.  There are many people on this site who have CTed and really wish they hadn't.  At least with a reinstatement and slow taper with holds we give ourselves the best chance of success.  I've been a member here since October last year and have been tapering since the beginning of this year after stabilising.  Once I started feeling better I got going with my taper, it has now blended into the background and I am getting on with my life.

 

By the way, AmyN who joined on 6th March 2016 (she was in a similar situation to you in not knowing what to do) has recently reinstated and posted that she is feeling much better.  The link to that post.

 

Gaining the knowledge about what is happening can help you to make an informed decision.  Unfortunately nobody can make the decision for you.

[Natedw1]

Thanks guys. I realized before going to that new doctor the way i was tapering was working fine. I felt better and better when i stabllized on a new dose. I felt that dead feeling less and less, I really messed up going to this new doctor. I just trusted her that after the 2 week taper id be ok. Should have knew better. Im probably going to take the 2.5mg and allow my brain to heal. Can i make liquid celexa out of 20mg pills and 40mg pills or do i need 10mg pills? I havent had any head zaps yet, is that a good sign? Thanks

[ChessieCat]

Hi Natedw,

 

Here are the links for Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram) and Making a citalopram solution yourself

 

Have a read of that and ask questions if needed.

[AmyN]

AmyN here! Yes, I ran out of my Lexapro and decided to quit CT. Like you, I thought this would be the fastest.way to get the junk out of my system. The spiciness and mental impairment was bad. Finally,I took the advice offered to me from this site and reinstated a tiny dose of 2 MG per day. That is a small fraction of the amount I had been on, which was 20 mg. Per day. I feel less numb than I did when I took the 20 MG,.but.without the horrible side effects. Now, trust me, I'm in no hurry to get completely off the Lexapro. Slow and steady wins the race is my new motto! Best wishes, Amy

[AmyN]

That is spacy-Ness, not spiciness! I'm on my iphone!

[AmyN]

I was joking around on the site about how I've never been a ditz,I have a master'suite degree, for gosh sakes! I was saying that if I continued being this forgetful and idiotic, I'd die my hair blonde!! (I'm a brunette, haha!) Really, the withdrawals are no joke, though!!

[Natedw1]

Hi all,

 

So today was about as much as i could take. Me and my wife had a long talk and i took the 2.5mg liquid dose. Do you guys think thats a good starting dose still? Hang in there amy and everyone else we are gonna be off this horrible stuff soon enough

[ChessieCat]

Hi Natedw,

 

It was only 2 days ago that Fresh suggested 2.5 mg so that should be fine.  It takes 4 days for the drug to get to full state in the blood, but you may feel some improvement in the next few hours to 1/2 day.  It is a good idea to write your symptoms and improvements down on paper so that you can give details if needed for mods to offer suggestions if issues arise and they need to know what has happened.  It can be hard to recall this information down the track.

 

When you get a chance, could you please update your signature with the date drug and dose so the information stays current whenever you post and people don't have to sift through your posts trying to find the details.

 

You just never know you might develop some spiciness!!! (referring to AmyN's post - That is spacy-Ness, not spiciness! I'm on my iphone!)

[Natedw1]

Hi all

 

I took the 2.5mg yesterday and did feel some instant relief. I was really out my head tbe past few days and am starting to calm down and feel clearer. One thing i didnt include im my frantic state was my ativan usage. Aroumd january 2nd the doctor gave me ativan for occasional panic attacks. They were managable but i told her about it and she gave the drug to me. I took them as needed but it was a stressful time and probably took more than i should have. But, i used the ativan almost everyday to deal with some of the side effects during the quick taper and just kept taking them daily until march 9th, one day before i quit the anti depressant. My doctor said after 8 weeks of usage i wouldnt be in ativan withdrawl. She said ativan withdrawl causes seizures and thats about it and your have to take it 3 months for withdrawl to happen so i coule just quit. Well i read online today and know she was wrong... So that means i was or am going through ativan withdrawl all this time too? I know this sites more about anti depressants and im sorry to be bringing this up, but i rarely reach out to people for help to be honest, and i really feel good talking to you guys it calms me down alot and gives me hope. Thanks guys and gals. I will update my drug history when i get home my phones acting up. Thanks

[Ali4]

Welcome Nate!!

 

Any questions you have on benzos you can ask under the benzo forum, you will get lots of support there, tons of amazing Info there. Take care Ali

[AmyN]

I'm glad your wife is supportive.  That's important!

[Natedw1]

Where are the benzo boards? Sorry i was looming at the front page i dont see it listed. Thanks!

[Ali4]

Forum page at the bottom. Ali

[Sarabera]

Hi Nate--sorry to hear that your doctor completely misinformed you about the Ativan. After 8 weeks, yes, you would have some dependency, and benzos are usually worse than ADs. If you can deal with it, it's probably best to steer clear of it completely at this point. Hopefully you are stabilizing now on the low dose of Celexa. I've just gotten over a mess with several benzos, z-drugs and amitryptiline, and am now tapering and doing just fine. Don't read too many depressing stories on here, lots of people can get off the drugs without too many issues!

Sarah

[Natedw1]

Hello all, it's been quite awhile since I've been on here and wanted to post an update . I am 18 months off celexa and am doing alot better. I still have waves and windows though . I'm in a wave right now but nowhere near as bad as the beginning. I've had alot of good days/weeks that I am greatful for. I no longer feel uncertain about the future because even during the worst wave I know it's gonna pass. I'm not saying it's been easy though. My waves can be mild to moderate, and severe ones for a few days every few months . One thing I am having trouble with is weight lifting. I just can't lift like I used too , I get very shaky and anxious after . Elliptical, walking etc is fine if I eat well after . I actually feel 1000 times better and feel more alive afterwards . Overdoing physical activity of any kind is something I just can't do though . For now at least . It's not as bad as it sounds because I'm used to it and I see improvements gradually so that's a major plus . It's nice to have my real personality back . I am me again.  I was always me but i actually care about things and have more motivation. Fish oil helps alot now.  I've had times in the beginning where it made me anxious. It does give me a mood boost and I feel it's not placebo . Magnesium I use as needed. I was taking it everyday and it made me very tired and gave me body aches which is odd but I guess everyone's different. I took some tonight tho and it took the edge off my anxiety . Thanks for all the info everyone. Would have stayed on that stuff the rest if my life if I didn't find this place. I'd imagine alot of ppl quit these drugs then think it's their "illness" then go back on them without any doctor even acknowledging it could be a protracted withdrawal of sorts . Not saying these illness don't exist but alot of ppl are trapped on these drugs or feeling the after effects like myself and I hope one day awareness will spread . Cya guys again when I'm fully recovered. Nate

[nz11]

Thanks for taking the time to update.

Are you able to update the drug sig.

Congratulations on  being 18 months drug free. Great going!

 

nz11