Ryella- 12 years of meds, starting my journey to taper and recover

[ryella]

Hi there, I'm ryella..

 

I found this website by randomly Google searching for Withdrawal symptoms I was experiencing. Please bear with me, I have a lot of problems with writing and overall cognition due to the effects of drugging...

 

In 2005-2006 (I honestly can't remember which year), I was diagnosed with "Social Anxiety Disorder" & "Generalized Anxiety Disorder"  I was immediately put on 25mg of Zoloft without a thought. However, I was also 13 and experiencing teen angst. The depression and anxiety persisted even then and even intensified.

 

In 2008, My mother passed away from liver cancer.  She was my rock and my best friend..  very close..

 

I started University in 2009 away from my hometown I had grown up in all my life.

 

In 2010, my maternal grandfather passed away of heart disease. He was very close to me.

 

In 2011, I was hospitalized twice. The first time, I was away at school and had what was described me now as a "psychotic break". I was never the same after forced treatments and injections. Later that year, I had a seizure due to withdrawal from Lithium that a doctor put me on and then withdrew me from suddenly (At least I think this is what caused the seizure.. it could have been a variety of things..) I was then diagnosed as having "Bipolar I" disorder. I was prescribed Abilify to deal with that.

 

In 2012, I was given Adderall to help me cope with not being able to focus in college.

 

In 2012, my maternal grandmother passed away of leukemia.

 

In 2013, my favorite uncle passed away from complications from a surgery. I wasn't informed until months after this happened.

 

I'm still on Abilify, Zoloft, and Adderall. 10mg of Adderall XR, 5mg of Instant Release Adderall, 100mg of Zoloft, and a lowered dosage of 7mg of Abilify... I am also on 15mg less of the Adderall than I was on.. I was on 30mg XR, so I am demotivated to write or do almost anything...

I am in terrible pain from withdrawing from the Abilify alone. Emotionally and physically. I feel like my entire body is on fire... But I won't stop, I have to keep going..

 

I've been on Zyprexa too for about 3 months in there but I have no idea how much I was taking, I was so insane during that time. Klonopin was prescribed to me, as well as Lithium, Xanax, Visteril, and probably more against my will.

 

Anyway. That's basically my story. I'm plagued by insomnia tonight also...

 

My symptoms basically include the following:
 

1) Dizziness: so dizzy.. like the world is shaking

2) Paranoia

3) Vomiting, Nausea, Diarreha, Stomach Discomfort- Basically any gastro problem

4) Extreme fatigue, feeling so tired and not rested at all upon waking up.

5) Restlessness

6) Chewing on the side of my mouth/ twirling hair

7) Loss of appetite: unable to eat.

8) Akathesia

9) Compulsive thoughts

 

And yeah.. I'm also really addicted to drinking caffeine and taking caffeine pills. So there's also that.

 

Basically. I just need some help.

 

Thanks for reading this if you actually read.

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Hi Ryella,

 

Welcome to SA.  It's really good that you have found this site.  The members here are supportive and encouraging and there is plenty of really helpful information too.

 

Thank you for completing your signature.  It would be a good idea to add the caffeine & caffeine pills in there too so that people have the whole picture.  Because you are addicted to caffeine it would be a good idea to taper off that as well, rather than trying to go cold turkey.  Many people find that coffee/caffeine is too stimulating when tapering and can cause issues.  It will be helpful if you can add the dates you started on the drugs and doses in your signature.  Please update your signature as your doses change so that it remains current.  This means that members don't have to sift through your posts trying to find what drug/s and dose/s you are taking.

 

I'll give you some links to check out.  Someone else will be along soon and they will offer their suggestions:

 

Introduction to AD Withdrawal Syndrome

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

Drug Interactions Checker (put all your current drugs into the checker to see what interactions there may be)

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

Information about tapering the drugs your are currently taking:

 

Tips for tapering off aripiprazole (Abilify)

 

Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

 

Tips for tapering off Adderall

 

The might help you to understand why slow tapering is recommended by SA:

 

Brain Remodelling (Rhi's Description of Brain Healing)

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

You can use your Intro/Update topic to ask questions about your personal situation and as a journal of your progress.

[ryella]

Wow, thank you so, so much! You rock for posting this and giving all this info.

 

I am seeing a doctor and he recommended I wean off Abilify first, but there is a lot of research to do on my own.

[ChessieCat]

You're welcome.  As I said there is a lot of info on this site.  The best way to search is to use a search engine and type in survivingantidepressants.org + topic  If you can't find what you are looking for, please ask here in your topic and someone should be able to give you a link if it exists here on SA.

 

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

 

It would be a good idea to wait until one of the more knowledgeable mods checks out your history and offers their suggestion about what to taper first.

 

So how long have you been taking each of the drugs/doses you are on currently.  Have you tapered any of them recently?  And if so, how and when?  The more details the mods have about your drug history (5 years) the better able they will be to offer suggestions based on your individual situation.

[ryella]

I have been taking the Abilify for 5 years now, the Zoloft for 10-12 years.. honestly, I don't remember what age I was put on it... I believe I was 13 or 14 though...  and the Adderall since 2013.. I think? It's all fuzzy but at least 2-4 years on the Adderall. I was prescribed adderall "as needed" I mean what a joke...

 

I've recently been weaning down on the Adderall and the Abilify... I'm down to 15mg of the Adderall that was originally 30mg and 7mg of Abilify that was originally 10mg...

 

I have been on Zyprexa, Visteril, Lithium, Klonopin, Xanax, and I think more.. ? I was hospitalized too, so God only knows what they gave me.

[ChessieCat]

So when and how did you drop from 10 mg to 7 mg Abilify?

 

Also 30 mg to 15 mg Adderall?

 

The answers to these questions will give us an idea of how long you should hold on your current doses to stabilise (ie let your brain adapt to the changes you have already made) before you begin tapering.  It will also give us an idea of whether the symptoms you are currently experiencing are from dropping your doses too quickly.  These details will help us to help you.  Thanks.

[Shep]

Hi, ryella.

 

Welcome to the forum from me, too. Sending some healing vibes your way. You've survived a lot of loss for someone so young. I'm happy you're here to learn how to safely come off your meds. 

 

I started on these drugs at a young age too, but you were even younger. So you need to find as many non-drug coping skills as you can gather along the way. Then you'll be more than equipped to handle your emotions without meds. 

 

CC gave you some really great links, including the drug interaction checker. I went ahead and put your meds in there (including caffeine) because it looks very similar to a problem I ran into by combining a SSRI with a stimulant. Here's the report with some "major" and "moderate" interactions - 

 

http://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=450-0,233-109,190-1645,2057-1348

 

My advice would be to come off the most stimulating drugs first such as Adderall and caffeine, but please work closely with the moderators here. They can help guide you off the drugs and there are many members here to give you support. 

 

A book that is mentioned a lot around here is Robert Whitaker's "Anatomy of an Epidemic", which explains how many people (especially children and teenagers) who are placed on SSRIs are diagnosed bipolar when in fact, it's really a reaction to the drug and not really a mental illness. 

 

This is a recent article off of Whitaker's Mad in America site that also explores this phenomenon:

 

http://www.madinamerica.com/2016/03/do-5-million-americans-really-have-bipolar-disorder/

 

You've been given a lot of information to process, so please take your time reading through it and then ask as many questions as you can. 

 

Go slowly and carefully and you'll come out of this much wiser and more compassionate than most people your age. You have a great life ahead of you once you get through this part. 

[SkyBlue]

Dear Ryella,

 

Wow, you have really been through a lot. I hope you can give yourself credit for putting one foot in front of the other with all you have been through. 

 

Sending you best wishes for your recovery. I'm glad you have found this place.

[Fresh]

Hi Ryella ,

 

You wrote:

"I am in terrible pain from withdrawing from the Abilify alone. Emotionally and physically. I feel like

my entire body is on fire... But I won't stop, I have to keep going."

 

What date did you drop?

 

 

You might find that updosing relieves the w/d symptoms you're having.

Decreasing from 10mg to 7mg is almost 1/3 , and is too much. That's why you feel so sick.

 

bw , Fresh

 

If you click FOLLOW at the top right , you'll receive an email each time someone posts.

[mammaP]

I agree with Fresh that updosing the abilify will help to stem the withdrawal but it is hard to know exactly what is causing it when 2 drugs are being tapered at once. 

My thoughts are that you might be better to go back to the 10mg of abilify, hold all the drugs stable to let your nervous system settle down and start to reduce your caffeine intake. I wouldn't cut too much caffeine at once, maybe over a few weeks because it is an awful lot of caffeine and there will be withdrawal from that too. Lots of us here have problems with caffeine while tapering and in withdrawal, it can make things much worse, 

 

If you can answer the questions that CC asked, when you started to taper and made the cuts it would be very helpful.

 

Try not to panic, things will get better but first you need to be as stable as possible, which means as you were before starting to change doses. You've been on a lot of drugs and will take time for your body to settle again, then we can see how you are and  what needs to be the next step for you. 

[JanCarol]

Hey Ryella - 

 

 

I've recently been weaning down on the Adderall and the Abilify... I'm down to 15mg of the Adderall that was originally 30mg and 7mg of Abilify that was originally 10mg...

Please put this information in your signature, including the dates that you made these adjustments.

 

It really helps us to know how recent and how dramatic your drug changes are when looking at your situation.

 

I agree with Mamma and Fresh, that it would probably be good to go back to the 10 mg of Abilify, and look at getting your caffeine under control - that much caffeine can wreak havoc with any sort of withdrawal.

 

Talk to us about how and when you take the caffeine?  How much coffee and soft drinks do you drink? 

 

What makes you decide to take a caffeine pill?  What time of day is that?  How does it relate to the time of day you take your other drugs?  (I'm wondering if you take it to counteract some of the cog-fog and weariness that the other drugs might cause)

 

You can do this - you're young, and it's a crime that you were put on the drugs so young, but you can heal.  You can build a life, and walk into the next phase of your life.  It will take time, and patience and persistence, but you can do this!

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Ryella.

 

Was Abilify added before or after the Adderall?

 

How did you go from 10mg Abilify to 7mg?

 

If I were you, I'd hold on changing anything for a bit, let your nervous system settle down, and get this sorted out. Please put ALL the drugs you take in the Drug Interactions Checker http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html
and copy and paste the results in this topic.
 

The cheek-chewing and hair twirling are probably habits, which can be changed with a little concentration.

 

Yes, please let us know your caffeination method and schedule!

 

Have you been seeing a therapist to work through all the loss in your life?

[ryella]

Hi everyone -

I'm so sorry for my lack of replies. I have been working like crazy.

 

I dropped under a doctor's supervision. He told me that the Abilify would be best to wean down first for some reason because he thinks the Adderall and Caffeine will keep me afloat while I am trying to wean down from it.

 

I dropped down on the Abilify on April 4th of this year I believe.. it's all a little muddy now.

 

Abilify was added before the Adderall. I started weaning down from the Adderall probably in January..? I honestly don't know when I started weaning down off the Adderall. I dropped to 15mg instead of 20mg in March of this year.

 

I'm trying to see a therapist.. it's just that I'm so tired 24/7 it's hard to get enough energy and find a good therapist. I do have one though I speak to.

[ryella]

Oh, I just forgot I didn't answer 1 question regarding the caffeine. I take anywhere from 1-2 cups of coffee per day to 6 sodas.. Sometimes I do Monster Energy Drinks, other times I take caffeine pills.. It really just varies :/

[Fresh]

Uh-oh , many energy drinks and soda's have aspartame in them , which works like an ssri with regard to

serotonin stimulation. It's like taking more zoloft when you drink them.

 

See Aspartame , Depression and SSRI's here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10741-aspartame-depression-and-ssris/?hl=aspartame

[Altostrata]

As ChessieCat suggested, please put all your current drugs into the Drug Interactions Checker to see what interactions there may be, and copy and paste the results in this topic.

 

Zoloft and Abilify may be causing the fatigue. Is that why the Adderal was added, to counter the side effects?

 

Your doctor is fond of mixing up drug cocktails.

[Junglechicken]

Hi Ryella,

 

Just seen your intro and mod responses; in which case ignore my message on the other thread.

 

JC

[ryella]

Recently, I've been feeling like I can't possibly get anything done and I've lost the motivation to do almost anything.

 

Even the simplest of tasks feel like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders. I go to clean my room, fix a meal, do a simple task at work, and so on.. It just seems like something so unachievable. I've lost the motivation to do anything or be productive... But yet when I don't get things done I feel so overwhelmed and upset..

 

I just want it to stop and go back to the days where I could focus on something or care about something..

 

I've gone from 10mg to 5mg of Abilify since April 5th of this year... It hasn't even been two months yet but I'm on half my dosage. This could be why I'm feeling this way? I don't know.. I'm going to hold this dose for as long as it takes for me to feel somewhat normal...

 

This loss of motivation is the main symptom I have. I also feel constantly like I'm about to jump out of my skin.... Can anyone resonate with this? I think it's technically called akathisia? 

I just need someone to talk to that understands what I'm experiencing. I know that so many people have gone through this, way more than the amount of people that should. 

 

There's also a lot going on in my life externally that I have no control over in addition to the withdrawal from these psych drugs.

 

Le sigh. I just want to feel energy again. Also, exercising is damn near impossible.

 

 

 

[SquirrellyGirl]

Ryella, I moved this last post from Symptoms & Self-Care to your intro since this is about your particular situation.  Yes, your too fast tapering is likely the cause of this lack of motivation and energy.  In looking through your thread, you tapered both Abilify and Adderall at the same time, and you went ahead and cut your Abilify again even after everyone gave you the information about cutting by 10% and not cutting for a good while to let your nervous system stabilize.  You would be wise to hold here for at least a few months and reassess before resuming tapering, this time at no more than 10% of the previous dose.  There is a reason that we recommend 10%, because it is the best known way to keep people feeling as close to "normal" as possible while reducing these meds, to avoid feeling the way you are now.  It isn't a fun place to be.

 

Your other option is to up-dose slightly. Had you done the 10% from March, you would be at about 8.  Since you've already spent some time at 7, you could try going back to 6 and see if that alleviates your symptoms somewhat.  It's either that, or sit with your symptoms and wait for them to lift as your nervous system gets caught up, which could take some time.

 

Here's some good reading on the subject, so you'll know you aren't alone:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1203-disconnect-between-interest-and-actionmotivation/?hl=motivation

 

SG

[ryella]

Ryella, I moved this last post from Symptoms & Self-Care to your intro since this is about your particular situation.  Yes, your too fast tapering is likely the cause of this lack of motivation and energy.  In looking through your thread, you tapered both Abilify and Adderall at the same time, and you went ahead and cut your Abilify again even after everyone gave you the information about cutting by 10% and not cutting for a good while to let your nervous system stabilize.  You would be wise to hold here for at least a few months and reassess before resuming tapering, this time at no more than 10% of the previous dose.  There is a reason that we recommend 10%, because it is the best known way to keep people feeling as close to "normal" as possible while reducing these meds, to avoid feeling the way you are now.  It isn't a fun place to be.

 

Your other option is to up-dose slightly. Had you done the 10% from March, you would be at about 8.  Since you've already spent some time at 7, you could try going back to 6 and see if that alleviates your symptoms somewhat.  It's either that, or sit with your symptoms and wait for them to lift as your nervous system gets caught up, which could take some time.

 

Here's some good reading on the subject, so you'll know you aren't alone:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1203-disconnect-between-interest-and-actionmotivation/?hl=motivation

 

SG

 

Hi there. Thank you so much for these kind words. I know I tapered very fast. This was under the guidance of a healthcare professional who diagnoses withdrawal, so this is why I felt safe doing this.

 

I will definitely hold here as long as it takes. 

[ryella]

Finally I'm getting around to posting the interactions between drugs. Here are the Major ones.

 

Major- 
Talk to your doctor before using sertraline together with amphetamine. Sertraline may increase the effects of amphetamine, and side effects such as jitteriness, nervousness, anxiety, restlessness, and racing thoughts have been reported. Combining these medications can also increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should contact your doctor immediately if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

Major- 

Talk to your doctor before using sertraline together with dextroamphetamine. Sertraline may increase the effects of dextroamphetamine, and side effects such as jitteriness, nervousness, anxiety, restlessness, and racing thoughts have been reported. Combining these medications can also increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should contact your doctor immediately if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

[Buffy]

Hi, I dont have much advice to share, but I have also been medicated for 12 years and am coming off now. I was also on Zoloft and dexamphetamine for many years. Our symptoms are similar but I cant touch caffiene.

 

Thanks for sharing, these stories give me hope that we will all be ok one day.

[JanCarol]

Hey Ryella, you write:

Hi there. Thank you so much for these kind words. I know I tapered very fast. This was under the guidance of a healthcare professional who diagnoses withdrawal, so this is why I felt safe doing this.

 

It was a health care professional (or several, in concert) who got you polydrugged to begin with.  Doctors only know what they are told, and they tend only to believe their pharmaceutical trainers / handouts / studies, and do not tend to listen very well to patients.

 

There are exceptions, I hope perhaps you have one.  If you do, let us know so we can add them to the practitioners' list - 

 

However, based on what you have told us - even though you have held for a month (and most practitioners don't do that) - the drops are still awfully steep for a safe taper - especially since you have been drugged for so long.

 

Your symptoms are your guide.  If you are having symptoms, you are going too fast.

 

Also - how are the Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms going?  Have you found any favorites yet?  Mindfulness?  EFT?  Meditations? Yoga? Acupuncture? 

 

If you are removing drugs, you will need to establish coping mechanism that are not drugs.  They will help you survive a drug-free existence into the future, and, they will help you as you taper, too!

 

Nice and easy, slow and patiently - it is better to be careful than to go into withdrawal.  You can do this!

[ryella]

Hey Ryella, you write:

Hi there. Thank you so much for these kind words. I know I tapered very fast. This was under the guidance of a healthcare professional who diagnoses withdrawal, so this is why I felt safe doing this.

 

It was a health care professional (or several, in concert) who got you polydrugged to begin with.  Doctors only know what they are told, and they tend only to believe their pharmaceutical trainers / handouts / studies, and do not tend to listen very well to patients.

 

There are exceptions, I hope perhaps you have one.  If you do, let us know so we can add them to the practitioners' list - 

 

However, based on what you have told us - even though you have held for a month (and most practitioners don't do that) - the drops are still awfully steep for a safe taper - especially since you have been drugged for so long.

 

Your symptoms are your guide.  If you are having symptoms, you are going too fast.

 

Also - how are the Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms going?  Have you found any favorites yet?  Mindfulness?  EFT?  Meditations? Yoga? Acupuncture? 

 

If you are removing drugs, you will need to establish coping mechanism that are not drugs.  They will help you survive a drug-free existence into the future, and, they will help you as you taper, too!

 

Nice and easy, slow and patiently - it is better to be careful than to go into withdrawal.  You can do this!

Hi Jan,

 

I have seen my doctor's name on lists here.

 

Thank you so much for your encouraging and kind words.

[ryella]

Everything is hard to articulate. I can barely communicate my feelings at all. I keep telling myself the pain means it’s working, that I’m gonna get better… That it’s really about the journey.

But the journey’s long. VERY long. I’ve been on Psych Meds for over a decade..

I’ve been in withdrawal now for about 4 months.  I know it’s a short amount of time.. but most days I feel like I’m dying.


I have gone from 30mg of Adderall to 10mg, 10mg of Abilify to 4mg, and stayed constant on 100mg of Zoloft…

Some days I just get so angry that I want to smash everything and bang my head against the wall. Other days are better, but I just feel so alienated - no one around me is really experiencing this terrible malaise I feel daily. It’s a struggle to get out of bed.. I have a full time job that takes a lot out of me… And my boss is very strict and conservative. He expects me to manage the job of a team of about 10 people. I feel very taken advantage of.

It’s living hell to be completely honest.

I live alone and have over $2,000 of bills per month. I can barely break even and most months I go over my budgeted amount I have to spend.. There is really no controlling this. I feel so helpless and financially raped so to speak most of the time..

I work 7 days a week because I also have my own business to try to cover some of the extra bills. I make a little over $2k a month at my job, but it’s really not covering everything I need to living alone and covering 100% of everything myself…

I have a boyfriend but he doesn’t really get how I struggle. He has never been through anything similar…He still has both of his parents… he pays bills comfortably/has way less financial burden than I do yet makes double what I do… He’s very kind though. He does struggle at work but to be completely honest it seems really petty when he complains..

My mother died 8 years ago.. and then shortly afterwards my two close maternal grandparents kicked the bucket as well. Then, my favorite Great Uncle passed… Leaving me with my Dad and brother which I’m very grateful to still have.

Unfortunately, Dad’s focused on women it seems and my brother has severe anxiety/depression issues … He’s also recently gotten his girlfriend pregnant which will be a constant financial burden. I feel so terrible for him. He’s barely 20 years old. Dad is almost 70. They are wonderful people, but they are also struggling to keep their heads above water.

By the way, I am 25 years of age.

On top of my full time job and business, I am experiencing withdrawal from these toxic meds. Good thing is, I’ve found a really good doctor… I know that’s very rare. 

I guess i just need re-assurance that things are going to get better and that I’m having a normal reaction. I'm just hurting. I'm in pain constantly.

 

I need help.

[marie123]

Hi Ryella. You deserve loads of credit for having a full time job and your own business too. You are not alone with this. All of us here on the the boards are feeling what you are feeling. I am glad you found a really good doctor to help you with this. I see you take caffeine. Is that from energy drinks/coffee or are they supplements? Maybe you should hold a while until symptoms improve.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Marie

[ryella]

Hi Ryella. You deserve loads of credit for having a full time job and your own business too. You are not alone with this. All of us here on the the boards are feeling what you are feeling. I am glad you found a really good doctor to help you with this. I see you take caffeine. Is that from energy drinks/coffee or are they supplements? Maybe you should hold a while until symptoms improve.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Marie

Hi Marie,

 

Thank you for your kind words. They are from energy drinks.

 

Thank you so much.

 

-Ryella

[Altostrata]

Hi, Ryella, I merged your posts here. What is your current symptom pattern?

 

Keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs (if any), and their dosages.

 

Have you tried fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.


 

[Sertramean]

Hi Ryella,

 

Thanks for popping by my thread, sorry for not acknowledging it sooner but i haven't been on here for a while. I've no great sage advice to give but just wanted to say how incredibly well you're doing holding down all your responsibilities whilst in the midst of withdrawal.  You seem a very intelligent person with your head screwed on. You will get through this and emerge a much healthier person.

 

Apropos of nothing i'd like to say that one of my fave bands in the world is REM. I got into them around 1985. Athens GA has seemed a mythical place to me ever since and i've always been desperate to go there, especially to see the trestle bridge that adorns the back of their 1st album.. I intend to travel there in the next couple of years. As it will probably mean flying to Atlanta first i will pop in and say hello. So pop the kettle on, i'll probably be a bit parched when i get there    

 

Best wishes and keep going. It will all get better in the end.

[ryella]

Hi there. Thank you so much. I appreciate the kind words. This website has helped a great deal, reading others' stories to know I am not alone.

[ryella]

Hi everyone -

 

Just an update. I have started a food, withdrawal symptoms and medication tapering log.

 

I am now down to ~1.75mg of Abilify (about 10% of what I was before) which I will change in my description momentarily. I'm doing relatively well on this dose (I think). I'm just going really slow until I am completely stable.. My projection is by the beginning of next year I will be off Abilify entirely. Then, I will begin the long and hard journey to get off Zoloft. I am going to wait a little bit before I completely get off Zoloft.. I think I need to make sure I'm stable without the Abilify.

 

I'm sleeping quite a great deal (too much maybe) and I'm going to therapy weekly. I work weekends part time (with my business) and weekdays full time (my employer) This helps me take my mind off the pain & racing thoughts.

 

I have a lot of akathesia and lack of motivation when it comes to work.. I guess this is normal but it makes me feel really alien and alone. I have these "floundering" feelings where I feel like I have no resources.. even though I know I do.

 

I know the most important thing I can be doing is focusing on my therapy.. but it's just so hard to balance life & healing. Healing really is a full time job.