doggiemama: still fighting

[doggiemama]

Oh boy I wish I felt strong . I've had a few very hard days can't believe how any little stress can make me feel so bad . When I'm feeling ok I don't have much back pain but when stressed it worse and feel I need to go to Dr and have myself checked out . I'm sick of feeling so weak and fragile all I want to do is get on with life like a normal person . Every morning I wake up and hope this will all be gone . I need to keep strong that I can take care of my business but I just go though the motions of getting through each day . No joy or happiness or excitement even when good things happen . This is a bad place to be in . I sound so negative but that's how I feel tonight ,soooo I need to look at the positives that have happened and get myself our of this . Pls pray for me as I pray for u all

[grandmaD]

HI, wanted to drop in and hold your hand and stand with you mama!  It's tragic what so many of us have to endure, being so trusting of doctors, and naieve of the powerful effect of psycho drugs.  We are enlightened now, but not without paying the price.

 

It had a quick read of your journal and find it interesting that someone noted the back pain could also be related to stress from grief.  I was sorry to read about losing your husband.  It must be so hard going through this alone because like you said most people just "don't get it".

 

The last 2 very bad spasms I had were also at a stress-related time regarding my son, which continues to go on and on ... and I struggle to find way to deal with it.  I am now thinking it is w/d related but the personal stress factors make it much worse.

 

You describe exactly how I feel, weak and fragile.  I feel like my bones might break and muscles are going to collapse, and it is quite frightening.

 

Like you, each morning I hope it will be all gone and when it isn't, I get disappointed and then discouraged and then despondant!  I am going to have to accept it I think, and not hope tomorrow is going to be better.  I also just feel like a robot going through the motions each day.  I have a list of everyday things I have to do and been doing that for almost 6 years now and not been able to do any more.  I thought after all this time, I would be able to do more, but instead I'm doing less.  I have no joy or incentive or desire to do anything, just main aim is get through the day.  Yes, praying for you also and thanks for your prayers x

[doggiemama]

Yes Granma stress is such a hard thing to go through and our kids can really do it so well to us lol. I also have a boy of 34 that has given me more gray hair than anything else, but we love them and feel so sorry for them and what they going though but most of the time they bring it on themselves we the ones left worrying about them all the time. Hope you didn't have to much pain today. I've got stuff called,Natura mag phos I've been using it for about 3 days and I'm almost positive it helps with pain and anxiety . I don't take any other tablets or supplements because of a bad reaction to all kinds of things . GOD bless

[grandmaD]

It is so hard to get my head around all the things going on and how this affects that, and so on, but I am now beginning to realise about the stress aspect.  I think because I was so "numb" for so long and it has hit me hard because my nerves are now all "alive" and everything is exaggerated.  I am just beginning to realise I have to find a balance for looking after myself and being there for my kids and I still haven't found that answer yet!

 

I'm glad you found something that is helping.  Is it a spray?  What are the ingredients.  Hubby saw a spray at the Health Food Shop with magnesium and potassium but I forgot what it was called.   I did make up a spray, half strength using magnesium oxide, but because of the nerve endings on my legs being severely painful, it made that pain worse.  I find the same thing happens if my bath is too much on the hot side and in the sun (not hot,now with cooler autumn days) I can feel the sun increases the burning sensation on my legs.

 

Did you have a bad reaction to fish oil?  I only recently started that up again, and although I am pretty sure the spasms started beforehand, I am now inclined to blame anything and eveything so now I am stopping the fish oil again!  God bless you also x

[doggiemama]

Hi all I have not been writing for a long time. Im still having a hard time. Since I was last one so much has happened. I lost my hubby in October 2016 which was very traumatic as I took care of him to the last. Then in August 2017 I lost my dad. In October I lost my darling middle son and September my best friend who was a mother to me. I feel alone and totally lost. I gave up my house because my youngest son was leaving home to work far from me. So I moved to my eldest son in another province . So now im missing my friends my home my dogs and my youngest son. My kids were I am are so good to me and give me as much rest as I need. I still have many days that I have anxiety and for the last 4 years since I C/T off citalopram and zolpederm I have not slept passed 4 in the morning. I don't know if im still in withdrawal or just life stresses but to me it feels like im still in withdrawal. Many symptoms have left but there are quite a few that I have on any given day. Im still reading on S.A every day and take comfort in reading all the stories and miss my suffering friends if I dont read every day. I also could not come to the site because I just didn't know how to get back on . Happy days and I hope I will beable to interact with every one again

[Pepita]

Oh my that is horrible!!! I am so sorry that you had to go through all that, it sounds truly unfair that one person has to experience all that pain in such a short time!!!