doggiemama: still fighting

[doggiemama]

Hi all just want to say thank you To Alto for her help. I'm not sure were to start or write my history so please help me right.

 

In 2001 after the death of a cousins baby which was the same age as my baby i was very down went to the Dr and was given Tryptaline 25mg which i took on and off for about 5 years Never thinking it was bad to do.

 

In about 2006 after the death of my stepson I went on Lorein cant remember the dose or exact time and after awhile also just stopped taking it.

 

In about 2009 again went on Cilift.and was on that till 2014 and also started taking Zolnox 12mg.

 

With each time i stopped taking these meds i had no ill effects till i stopped both cilift and zolnox because the Dr said i should stop she never said to taiper and i stopped .

 

Starting at the bigining of September I took half a tablet then half again then just stopped. I did feel bit strange and was having head zaps a bit unsteady on my feet but nothing too serious.

 

At the beginning of April 2015 all hell broke loose. I had a very big shock and I don't know if it was a nervous breakdown or withdrawal. But I could not sleep was having panic attacks very high anxiety waking up at 3 in the morning totally terrified So many things were happening all the time and I was in and out of hospital trying to understand what was happening to me . All the Drs said after hear lungs tb and other test is that its anxiety something I never ever had before and depression also something I did not really have.

 

Yes I was down but nothing near what I was experiencing now.

 

Its been 2 years and things have got 100 + better but im still not myself. My husband has cancer and is bedridden and im the main caregivver and this makes me very anxios at times . I have a right side back pain for abou 5 months and wondering is this Withdrawal or should i see a dr. It comes and goes and when i feel a bit stressed its more prominent.

 

Thank you for listening to my story .

Edited August 14, 2016 by AliG
Added paragraph breaks

[AliG]

Hello Doggiemama.  I'm so sorry that you have had such a hard time and dealing with so many life problems at once. You are in a place of support and we can help you through this.

 

Can I ask you to fill out your signature so that we can see a brief history of the drugs you have been on with dates / doses etc. 

Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

From what I can gather , you have been off all drugs for 2 years . Is that correct ?

 

It's quite possible that your pain is a withdrawal symptom . They can be many and varied.

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

 

This link explains withdrawal :

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

We recommend magnesium and fish oil as supplements to help healing.

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

This is your thread to journal progress and ask questions. Please come back with any concerns or questions. 

Welcome to SA.

Ali

[doggiemama]

2001 trypline 25mg on and off 2006 Lorein dose? On and off. 2009 Cilift 25mg plus Zolnox 12mg . Tried vitamin suppliments made me feel in also omega 3 and slowmag made me ill stopped all suppliments . Taking a meal replacement and epsom salt baths 3 times a week

[doggiemama]

Hi Ali I don't know if I have filled in right because I'm still learning how to get around cell phones tablets and computers . Thank you for your reply . I have been following some of the people on SA for about a year and a half and have learnt soooo much about this rubbish they call meds . In South Africa Drs think you totally mad if you say you are in withdrawal and told me its me that's the problem not the meds . How is this posibble if it was not what I was feeling before I started

[AliG]

DM.  You have done fine .It's not you , it's the meds. There are very few doctors who "get it " and understand withdrawal. Their favorite line is that it's the original condition returning when in fact it is withdrawal symptoms from having the drug yanked away from a brain that has become accustomed to having it around.  This link helps to explain:

Brain Remodelling

 

When we stop taking the drug , we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug : now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of it's chemistry and structure.

 

Would you mind filling in your drug history so that we can see how to help. You will find a lot of support/ information and encouragement here.

Again, welcome.

Ali

[doggiemama]

Ok so some days are better than others.I just don't understand that one can feel so very ill one day and the next ok. This is such a strange thing. Lots of symptoms are far milder and have changed like anxiety which I had for a very long time in the morning have now gone to the evening but also milder than it was.For weeks my heart felt it was going to pop out my chest went away and now it started again on and off during the day. I am also very aware of any body changes eg rumbling tummy, chest or back pain even silly things like a cramp in my toe. Why do we become hyper aware of our body and mind ? I know my body took care of itself before and during the meds but now every little thing is hyper lol. I think if people really knew how I was thinking and feeling I would be in a mental cell .

[ChessieCat]

Hi doggiemama,

 

This topic talks about benzos but is relevant to AD withdrawal too.  It discusses what can be affected in different parts of the brain:

 

What is Happening in Your Brain

 

This topic might help you to understand the coming and going of symptoms:

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

You might also find these interesting:

 

Intrusive Thoughts

 

Neuro Emotions

 

Even if you are not suffering from them, learning techniques are helpful in general for everyday life:

1. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

2. Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

3. "Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

4. Change cognitive framing - Redirect - Another Way

5. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, depression

[doggiemama]

Hi thank you for the reply I will go through them sllllllowy . I've read quite a few of the links that have helped understand but when I'm feeling like this I believe I'm dieing of some illness that Drs have not picked up. And people are so strange if we see a over weight we don't say shoo but you got fat , but everyone that sees me comments on my weight ask if I eat, am I

sick and and and! I find it rude and unnessary . This makes me feel worse and I worry about it all the time.GOD BLESS

[ChessieCat]

They are probably concerned about you and that is why they say something.  Unfortunately even though people mean well, they don't  realise that what they say affects us.  And of course because you are in withdrawal it seems magnified.

[doggiemama]

Yes its quite true what you saying and I'm sure if I was not in WD it would not worry me as much. I also don't tell people that I'm in WD because most don't understand and when I do talk about the dangers of ADs they just don't get it and there are so many on this junk they seem to get offended when I don't talk to highly about it . I have a salon and see quite a few clients a day and hearing that Drs are putting even young kids off 12 on ads blow my mind and beg them to read about these drugs before giving it to themselfs or kids but in South Africa the Drs and Rev are NEVER wrong

[doggiemama]

Goodmorning all hoping that everyone are feeling ok today. How strange this is before ADs I would wake up and get on with my day, now I lay in bed and wonder how my day will be . Will I get anxuos? If I eat this what will happen? If I don't do that if I do this ? So crazy !! I'm so aware of my body and mind and the do's and dont's I make myself cross I just want to get up and not think of everyday things that to others are normal. But NO I need to diesect everything

[doggiemama]

Hi I've been off ADs and zolnox for 2 years this month my mental state is 100 times better than it was but for about 6 months I have a funny back pain but only on the right side that comes and goes . I have no motivation and tired most days . My hubby has terminal cancer which is a very big stress for me . About a year ago I went to Drs and did tests and exrays because I thought I was dying not knowing about withdrawal.I never had these symptoms before stopping ADs so I put 2+2 together and started reading here . Do you think this can be withdrawal after 2 years

Edited September 26, 2016 by scallywag
merged topics

[scallywag]

I've moved your post and question to your Introductions topic so that all your information is in one place.

 

It could be w/d; it could also be a stress reaction to your life.  What are you doing to take care of yourself?

[doggiemama]

Hi Scally I'm sorry I've tried to find were I first posted but I can't find were I must add that I'm totally dumb with cell phones computers and tablets lol. When I walk into the computer shop they all hold there heads and ask what ive messed up this time . I'm going to try again to find myself thanks

[doggiemama]

Hope I'm in the right place or maybe I'm replying to my self again lol. I wish I could feel good every day and get motavated to do a few things in my house and garden I don't know if its withdrawal or just me but I would much rather read a book or watch tv than do any kind of housework . I do work in the mornings and I'm not scared about hard work but when it comes to housework I'm super lazy maybe I need to change my mindset lol I've never been one for housework even before ADs I would much rather go to work than be a housewife.

 

Today I feel no back pain and it will be a stressful day as hubby needs to see the Drs again the strange thing is I cope in a crisis but when its over then I get stressed and few rather uug for a few days after. Before finding out hubby had cancer I had a very bad experance with a co worker and I don't know if it was stopping the AD 3 months before or a breakdown but for about 6 months after I was having pannic attacks anxiety could not sleep some night being terrified of everything could not even watch tv . In this time I started to lose a lot of weight and thought I was dying .

 

I've coped with many things in my life and got over it quite fast but this time I was really not functional and never felt so bad . So I feel it must be the stopping ADs at more or less that made everything far far worse and I had these very bad emotions

Edited September 27, 2016 by scallywag
added paragraph breaks

[scallywag]

This is YOUR introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community. You're posting in the right place.

[doggiemama]

So I've had a few really horrible days does this crap ever stop . I have flu I first thought my heart and body was giving in but the next day had full blow flu. And my anxiety was very high for 2 days and genral ill feeling but feeling a bit better today. Before W/D never worried when I got sick but now the miniut I feel sick I start thinking I'm dying of some bad decease . I so sick of these mind games that I play with myself. I just want normal ups and downs

[scallywag]

Sorry to read that you're feeling "under the weather." Flu-like symptoms are known withdrawal symptoms.

 

Flu-like withdrawal symptoms or real virus flu, how to tell?

Surviving a bad cold or the flu during withdrawal

[doggiemama]

Today was a bit better not so much anxiety but just want this to stop that I can get on with life . Even having a normal flu without all the jazz that comes with it in WD

[doggiemama]

Been feeling rubbish now for a while with having flu and lots of stress because of hubbies illness. I'm finding it hard to cope and my BP jumps up and down. Just wish I could have normal stress feelings and stop the constant worry about my health. I'm a smoker and the more I stress the more I smoke and then I get sooo very anxous over my health. Wish I was feeling better that I could kick this habit

[doggiemama]

Hi all I'm going though hell again I was doing well but my hubby passed away of cancer 22 october and I'm having chest pains , back pains only on the right side ( so strange) and angxiety non stop but gets very bad a few time a day. It feels like I'm passing out and feel very strange as I dose off to sleep. My sleep has been bad for the last 2 years and hardly ever sleep past 4 in the morning. I hate this feeling . HOW MUCH LONGER am I going to suffer. Should I go to Dr help

[scallywag]

I'm very sorry to learn that you lost your husband to cancer recently.

 

Even when it's expected, the death of someone close can upset our physical well being in addition to the emotional upset. Grief-related symptoms do weaken over time as we move through the shock and the loss. Symptoms of withdrawal from psychiatric medications can take many months to resolve. It's difficult for anyone to predict how long it will take for you to fully recover.

 

If you feel it would be helpful to see a doctor, do so.  Upon hearing your symptoms, a doctor may go to the old reliable prescription pad prescribe increased dosages or additional medications.  Please think about whether you want to take more medication.

 

I've moved your post/question to your introduction topic so that all your information, questions and answers are in one place; we have a one-intro-per-customer rule.

[doggiemama]

I've been off meds for 26 months and never want to go back there . Its just I don't know if I'm really sick or this is w\d . Some days I feel semi normal then like the last few days feeling so bad. The strange thing is I think I mourned for my hubby even before he passed away. I miss him but not the bone crushing feeling like I thought would happen.

[doggiemama]

How crazy is this woke up as normal early but calm and at peace for now. It freaks me out that I can feel so bad one day and the next hour fine. Is this my brain going crazy or am I really sick .Oh boy this is horrible

[yyeehhaaww]

Oh, Doggie, I am so very sorry for what you are going through.  I cannot find the right words to comfort you in your grief.

[Junglechicken]

Doggie,

 

I'm praying for you.

 

The body pains you are experiencing are common in WD.....I have back pain now as I type this, and have had lower abdominal pains so you are not alone. This is all stress related.

 

Am very sorry for your loss of your husband.

 

BIG HUGS,

JC xx

[doggiemama]

Thanks all today has not been so bad I get anxios a few times a day but it passes but I have a worried feeling most of the time. I force myself to interact with people but some days just can't bear to be near anyone but because I must work I deal with them . I have found that I can't work full day and when I do I'm so exausted I can bairly move and the next day I don't function well. Before and while I was on ADs I could work from 6 till 6 on my feet all day and still cope well . Maybe I'm getting to old for all this. I have become very aware of false, backbiting people and far more sensative to it and it sickens me I find it hard to be friendly and nice to them and it causes me a lot of stress. I would love to sell and get away from all these people. I'm in a very small town and just feel I don't like a lot of them. I do have a few special friends that I love dearly but the rest just make me sick. Funny I could tolarate them before coming off ADs but now its a differant story. So I've had my moan for the day GOD BLEsS

[doggiemama]

Hi all GOD bless you all this new year. Well I got through Christmas and New year.It's been really hard and had so much anxiety and back and chest pain that I know comes from stress. I will never understand how a can feel so anxious near my family it's abnormal as I have a laid back family.It was the first time I've been with everyone for about 5 years but my hubbys death was hard on me and my son and thought it would be a good thing. Most of my WD is gone and I feel much better than even 6 months ago but being anxiety near my family blows my mind as I've never been like this.

Edited January 9, 2017 by scallywag
merged

[scallywag]

doggiemama, I've moved your post in a new introduction topic to your introduction topic so that all your information, questions and answers are in one place. We've got a "one-intro-per-customer" rule.

 

You may way want to follow this topic so that you get notifications when someone posts in your thread.  Click the gray "Follow this topic" button. A dialog box appears:  select one of the notify options, then click follow this topic in the dialog box.

 

Setting this web page as a bookmark or favorite in your browser will help you navigate back to it.

[doggiemama]

Hope I'm doing this right I can't seem to be able to find where I write my updates and don't have the oomph to look and study how. I've been having some very very hard days. Anxiety depression and back pain that's only gone when I sleep. I lost my hubby in October due to cancer and it's been very hard for me to cope emotionally , most days I just go though the motion of living and still suffering W/d . I used to be so strong nothing fazed me . Now even the smallest thing stresses me out

[ChessieCat]

Hi doggiemama,

 

Each member has only 1 Intro Topic.

 

I tried to PM you to let you know that I was merging your new topic to your original Intro but I don't think you have PMs enabled.

 

Please respond here in this topic so I know that you have received the information and then I will merge it with your original.  Thank you.

 

You can go to it by clicking on this link:  doggiemama-still-fighting

[doggiemama]

Hi I'm going to try and do as u have instructed and hope I can get it right . Thank you for your help. This is so hard to cope and I don't know how I've made it this far . This is a horrible thing to go thought wish I felt normal age

[doggiemama]

I have tried to find a bookmark but I don't know were to look . I feel like a idiot but I'm not good with electronic devices

[ChessieCat]

If you are using a phone, click on FULL VERSION at the bottom of your screen.  If you are not using a phone you will not see Full Version so just ignore this and continue on with the instructions:

 

At the top right you will see your name (when logged in).  Beside it there is a small downward pointing arrow.  Click on that and a list will appear.  Click on MY CONTENT.  On the left click on ONLY TOPICS.  You have only created one topic (your Intro topic).  Click on the heading "Doggiemama still fighting" and that will take you to the first page of your topic.

 

If you then want to go back into phone mode, at the bottom left of the screen click on CHANGE THEME.

[doggiemama]

Wow wow wow I think I've don't it pls let me know if I'm right. Been going through a hard time I had a stomach virus and then a liver infection. I've had right side back pain for more than a year . Dr have me antibiotics and not sure if I feel better???????? . I keep loosing weight . I've been stressed but I'm eating more than a few months ago. I don't know what to do

[Pepita]

Hi Doggie, I was just scrolling through your topic- oh boy... you've got a lot to cope with I am so sorry! You've got all my respect for still handling this situation somehow although your losses and WD troubles! you must be hell of a strong person!!!!!