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Hurtmost: terrible job tapering - mental anguish


Hurtmost

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I ignorantly went off 300mg Wellbutrin and 200mg Sertraline in 4 months between Oct. 2017 and February 2018. I am experiencing the worst depression of my life. I don’t know what to do. April is the point when things became bad. I feel panick every morning. I cry every day. I actually hate being alive. I dread choices. I dread living. I am not suicidal though. I keep telling myself I’ll get through this. 

 

I stopped the antidepressants after 8 years because I had lost any passion for anything. I went everywhere late. I slept constantly. I think the drugs stopped working. The psychiatrist kept increasing doses to try to help, but it made me a stranger to joy and stripped me of my curiosity and life. 

 

I have additional complications of ptsd- as a survivor of domestic abuse and a survivor of rape at gunpoint. I don’t have a career. I have no partner or children, and I’m trying to decide whether or not to move to care for my invalid father. I created bad debt while sleeping and paying for psychiatrists out-of-pocket. This is very difficult. I feel utterly estranged from life. 

 

Should I speak with a physician? Do I reinstate? I don’t know what to do. 

-Began Zoloft and Wellbutrin prescription 2009. The antidepressants stopped working. Psychiatrists began increasing doses reaching maximum in 2016: 

-200mg Zoloft, 300mg Wellbutrin, 10mg Adderal. (adderal only summer of 2017) 

-Summer/fall 2017 I began to decrease at a rate of 25% every 4 weeks by myself. I ended meds in February 2018.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Hurtmost: Terrible job tapering - mental anguish
  • Administrator

Welcome, Hurtmost.

 

Emotional anesthesia is a common side effect of psychiatric drugs. It sounds like you might have gone off too fast. Did you have any odd symptoms after you stopped sertraline?

 

Do you have any sertraline left? Often a very small amount, even 5mg, might prop up your nervous system so it feels a little better. This topic explains how to take a small amount Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline) You'll probably want to use a liquid. You'd stabilize on this for at least a month, then taper off by tiny amounts.

 

See What is withdrawal syndrome?
 
About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms
 
The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I do have Zoloft around, but I stopped in early February? My smallest dose left around are the 50mg I was quartering- so 12.5. That’s right- I discontinued CT at 12.5mg thinking that was a really low dose. Thank you for responding. I dread my days. 

-Began Zoloft and Wellbutrin prescription 2009. The antidepressants stopped working. Psychiatrists began increasing doses reaching maximum in 2016: 

-200mg Zoloft, 300mg Wellbutrin, 10mg Adderal. (adderal only summer of 2017) 

-Summer/fall 2017 I began to decrease at a rate of 25% every 4 weeks by myself. I ended meds in February 2018.

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Also, when I began tapering I had horrible WD symptoms right away. Brain-zaps. Confusion. Fever-like feelings. Nausea. Exhaustion. I’d fall asleep quite suddenly against my will (awkward.) Waking nightmares in sleep paralysis. Manic feelings. Increased ocd skin-pick. IBS. These have all passed for the most. Sometimes I still feel “weird” or paralyzed as I drift into sleep. 

 

What I struggle with now is deep deep anxiety and sadness. I feel like my life is over/ruined. I feel that everyone is going to die. Death is at the forefront of my mind all the time. I hate it. 

-Began Zoloft and Wellbutrin prescription 2009. The antidepressants stopped working. Psychiatrists began increasing doses reaching maximum in 2016: 

-200mg Zoloft, 300mg Wellbutrin, 10mg Adderal. (adderal only summer of 2017) 

-Summer/fall 2017 I began to decrease at a rate of 25% every 4 weeks by myself. I ended meds in February 2018.

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Also, these links are good. Still difficult to decide what to do. 

 

Thank you!

-Began Zoloft and Wellbutrin prescription 2009. The antidepressants stopped working. Psychiatrists began increasing doses reaching maximum in 2016: 

-200mg Zoloft, 300mg Wellbutrin, 10mg Adderal. (adderal only summer of 2017) 

-Summer/fall 2017 I began to decrease at a rate of 25% every 4 weeks by myself. I ended meds in February 2018.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
14 minutes ago, Hurtmost said:

My smallest dose left around are the 50mg

 

The link 'Tips for tapering off Zoloft' which Alto posted above, will explain how to make 5mg out of your 50mg pills.

 

I also stopped my medication too fast and got hit with extreme withdrawal, so I know what you are going through. By the time I found this site, it was too late for me to reinstate, I had those doomy, gloomy thoughts too... nothing like I had ever experienced before so I knew it was withdrawal.

 

If you decide to try reinstatement, a low dose might be enough to stop the symptoms, then you could begin a safe taper off the last amount when you have become stable again.

 

I wish I had been able to do that, because its actually taken me several years to recover from my too fast taper. But its completely your decision. You will recover though, whatever you decide. Take your time and read through all the information before making a decision.

 

We ask members to put their drug and withdrawal history in the signature section. It appears below each of your posts and helps us to help you. Here are instructions for how to do it:

 

Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Thank you so much. I’ll read “tips for tapering off Zoloft.” I have been off any medication since February. Is it too late to reinstate? 

-Began Zoloft and Wellbutrin prescription 2009. The antidepressants stopped working. Psychiatrists began increasing doses reaching maximum in 2016: 

-200mg Zoloft, 300mg Wellbutrin, 10mg Adderal. (adderal only summer of 2017) 

-Summer/fall 2017 I began to decrease at a rate of 25% every 4 weeks by myself. I ended meds in February 2018.

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  • 1 month later...

I am working my way through my first summer off ADs and life is very difficult. I am so lucky to be spending quality time with friends this week, though. I feel grateful to be close to others. They help me engage and focus on activities and ideas other than saddness, loss, failure, and death. 

 

I am especially sad and anxious right now because my parents are each sick. They are divorced, single people, and I live very far away from both of them. My father is suffering from COPD and is currently in a hospital. My mom may have lung cancer. She’s frightened. I try to stay positive, but the waves of panic and deep saddness that I experience perpetually due to withdrawal make it neigh impossible. 

 

It was suggested that I reinstate and I haven’t. I keep believing that I’m going to have better windows. My guts have been improving. I’ve put on weight. That is good. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m grateful for this community. 

-Began Zoloft and Wellbutrin prescription 2009. The antidepressants stopped working. Psychiatrists began increasing doses reaching maximum in 2016: 

-200mg Zoloft, 300mg Wellbutrin, 10mg Adderal. (adderal only summer of 2017) 

-Summer/fall 2017 I began to decrease at a rate of 25% every 4 weeks by myself. I ended meds in February 2018.

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  • Mentor

Oh wow, sorry to hear about your parents' sickness and your distance. I'm in Seattle and come back to central PA once a year to see my parents who are often undergoing some sort of surgery or illness. But they are stubborn and are still getting around the house. The distance is stressful but it can be managed. Hang in there.

 

I too was on Zoloft and, while everyone's withdrawal is different, it seems like Zoloft can be a real stickler.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Thanks for your compassionate comments. I have been waiting to see before reinstating Zoloft. I am experiencing so many neuroemotions though, that I don’t think I should put it off anymore. 🙁

-Began Zoloft and Wellbutrin prescription 2009. The antidepressants stopped working. Psychiatrists began increasing doses reaching maximum in 2016: 

-200mg Zoloft, 300mg Wellbutrin, 10mg Adderal. (adderal only summer of 2017) 

-Summer/fall 2017 I began to decrease at a rate of 25% every 4 weeks by myself. I ended meds in February 2018.

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@Hurtmost I too, took Wellbutrin 300xl for 8 years. I quit cold turkey in May of 2017. Started having withdrawal symptoms in June 2017. My worst symptom is dizziness. Had several bouts of vertigo but, praying, those are behind me. I had all of the symptoms you are experiencing as well. 

 

I am 13 months into this journey. Listen to the advice of the moderators. They are extremely knowledgeable on this and will help you. 

 

I experienced many neuroemotions and many of them are gone. You have found a safe and supportive place here and everyone will help you through. 

 

Sending prayers. 

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks for your compassionate comments. I have been waiting to see before reinstating Zoloft. Grateful for the kindness and resources here. 

-Began Zoloft and Wellbutrin prescription 2009. The antidepressants stopped working. Psychiatrists began increasing doses reaching maximum in 2016: 

-200mg Zoloft, 300mg Wellbutrin, 10mg Adderal. (adderal only summer of 2017) 

-Summer/fall 2017 I began to decrease at a rate of 25% every 4 weeks by myself. I ended meds in February 2018.

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  • 6 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Hurtmost, 

 

How are you doing?💚

Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg. 2020➡️5.60 to 4.80. 2021➡️4.60 to 4.0.  2022➡️3.95 to 3.55. 2023➡️ From 3.50 to 3.25.  2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️May1=3.0✔️ June7=3mg✔️ July 15= 2.95✔️ This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Hurtmost: terrible job tapering - mental anguish

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