Skylark1980: Insomnia - Sertraline withdrawal or relapse?

[Skylark1980]

Hi Songbird, thank you so much for your reply.  Wow a whole week, you poor thing .  That's reassuring though that nothing awful happened though.  I use mindfulness mostly effectively during the day to manage my fearful thoughts but they are magnified in the night which is such a vicious circle, and so lonely - but you're helping me to see that this is a common experience.  That's why I'm starting therapy - to deal with these unhelpful thoughts. The insomnia definitely came first though, just out of nowhere without anxious thoughts, I just started having really disturbed nights and then the anxiety has fuelled it.

 

I've been trying to brisk walk and do yoga, it doesn't seem to have any effect on whether I sleep or not (I am keeping a diary).  I seem to have 3 - 4 better nights and then a random awful one of no sleep.  Even on the good nights I wake several times but a guided meditation is enough to send me back off quite quickly.

 

I took a temazepam 10mg in the end last night as I got so anxious by midnight and my son was screaming a lot (my husband was on duty thank goodness) and finally got an unbroken sleep.  I only use these if desperate (once a week absolute max & usually less).  Now that I know people can go for days without sleep, I'll hopefully panic less about it and need them less too.  I feel so much stronger today though, just that little respite is enough to keep me going for a few more days....

 

The more I read other people's posts and long lists of symptoms, the more I think that mine is now mainly psychological now.

 

How long has your insomnia lasted (I see you've tapered several times)?  I hope it's gradually got better....

[dj2010]

22 minutes ago, Skylark1980 said:

Hi Songbird, thank you so much for your reply.  Wow a whole week, you poor thing .  That's reassuring though that nothing awful happened though.  I use mindfulness mostly effectively during the day to manage my fearful thoughts but they are magnified in the night which is such a vicious circle, and so lonely - but you're helping me to see that this is a common experience.  That's why I'm starting therapy - to deal with these unhelpful thoughts. The insomnia definitely came first though, just out of nowhere without anxious thoughts, I just started having really disturbed nights and then the anxiety has fuelled it.

 

I've been trying to brisk walk and do yoga, it doesn't seem to have any effect on whether I sleep or not (I am keeping a diary).  I seem to have 3 - 4 better nights and then a random awful one of no sleep.  Even on the good nights I wake several times but a guided meditation is enough to send me back off quite quickly.

 

I took a temazepam 10mg in the end last night as I got so anxious by midnight and my son was screaming a lot (my husband was on duty thank goodness) and finally got an unbroken sleep.  I only use these if desperate (once a week absolute max & usually less).  Now that I know people can go for days without sleep, I'll hopefully panic less about it and need them less too.  I feel so much stronger today though, just that little respite is enough to keep me going for a few more days....

 

The more I read other people's posts and long lists of symptoms, the more I think that mine is now mainly psychological now.

 

How long has your insomnia lasted (I see you've tapered several times)?  I hope it's gradually got better....

 

try lavender oil, I get a cotton wool pad that women use for makeup and put lots of drops of lavender oil on it so it is soaking wet, I place it inside my pillow case close to where my nose is, also been using this sleep lotion which is quite good: https://uk.lush.com/products/lavender/sleepy

 

if you sleeping quite good for 3 - 4 nights then this is a good sign

 

take care

[Skylark1980]

 

Thanks dj! Weirdly a friend recommended that same lotion yesterday.  I'll try the lavender too.  

 

How's your sleep?  Have you gone whole nights without any too? Yes, reading around on this site makes me grateful that I'm getting some reasonable nights at least....  

 

This site is such an eye opener.  When I went on sertraline post-natally I was told half the mums in my town were on it - they are prescribed so easily.  There was no follow up and I had to request counselling myself.

 

1 hour ago, Songbird said:

Insomnia is an extremely common withdrawal symptom.  I once didn't sleep for a whole week, and I was worried I would start hallucinating or go crazy, but I didn't.  I think my brain started to micro-sleep.  Then I started doing relaxation exercises, and using a sleep hypnosis CD, replaying it every time I woke up.

 

Songbird - how did you cope with no sleep for a week? Were you off work? Did you have support?  I have small children which is hard but in some ways I guess it's helpful to keep me functioning and in a routine.  My husband commutes so is away long hours but luckily he's supportive when he's around.

 

Thank so both so much - the fear around sleep is hard (probably harder the actual lack of sleep) xx

 

 

[dj2010]

48 minutes ago, Skylark1980 said:

 

Thanks dj! Weirdly a friend recommended that same lotion yesterday.  I'll try the lavender too.  

 

How's your sleep?  Have you gone whole nights without any too? Yes, reading around on this site makes me grateful that I'm getting some reasonable nights at least....  

 

This site is such an eye opener.  When I went on sertraline post-natally I was told half the mums in my town were on it - they are prescribed so easily.  There was no follow up and I had to request counselling myself.

 

 

Songbird - how did you cope with no sleep for a week? Were you off work? Did you have support?  I have small children which is hard but in some ways I guess it's helpful to keep me functioning and in a routine.  My husband commutes so is away long hours but luckily he's supportive when he's around.

 

Thank so both so much - the fear around sleep is hard (probably harder the actual lack of sleep) xx

 

 

 

hi skylark, sleeps been excellent over the last week since I stopped all supplements, only in the early months of withdrawal I would go with zero sleep, now if in for a very bad night I use melatonin or a anti-histamine,

 

yeh its disgusting how these pills are handed out like sweets, hopefully that will change soon

 

take care

[Skylark1980]

Hi dj, so glad your sleep is better now - interesting about the supplements.  How long did your insomnia last and what were your waves like? 

 

Looking at your signature, and seeing how long you've been going through this, it's amazing that you've managed to start a family during this period! It was starting a family that really messed up my sleep in the first place.

[dj2010]

1 hour ago, Skylark1980 said:

Hi dj, so glad your sleep is better now - interesting about the supplements.  How long did your insomnia last and what were your waves like? 

 

Looking at your signature, and seeing how long you've been going through this, it's amazing that you've managed to start a family during this period! It was starting a family that really messed up my sleep in the first place.

 

hi skylark, my sleep is still a issue now but much better than the early months, the worst of it lasted around 6 months, waves were bad and many times I was seriously thinking about reinstating due to desperation,

 

yes was medicated for 15 years but still lived quite normally, I started a family before trying to come off the pysch drugs when did not have any insomnia, problems only started a few years ago when trying to get off these poisons,

 

hope you have a good sleep tonight

[Skylark1980]

Urgggh 6 months - poor you.  How much sleep would you get on an average night during those months? Or was it up and down like mine?  This has been going on for 3 months and it's hard work.

 

How did you keep going through the worst?  Do you nap when you get the chance? 

 

You must be excited after a week of excellent sleep!! 

[Skylark1980]

Hi again, another bad night of about 3 hours (although I listened to yoga nidra relaxation track on a loop which at least meant I rested).  I've been checking my sleep diary and the brief stint of 6-7 hours per night seems to be about the best for the past month. It seems to have worsened over the past couple of weeks and 3-4 hours is about average, once a week I'm not getting any.  I feel like my mental state is starting to suffer (this has been going on for 3 months so far, and it's 4 months since I finished sertraline). 

 

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place as I don't know if this is withdrawal or just a re-emergence of the original problem (My sleep was similar after both babies and I just couldn't rebalance as I was up in the night with them too.)  I've always had a bit of underlying anxiety which I usually manage pretty well, but when sleep deprived everything seems so much worse.  I had occasional insomnia for the past 20 years but usually sleep really well. 

 

I feel like I'm clutching at straws (start ACT therapy tonight, acupuncture tomorrow...)  I have a stressful time coming up and don't feel I can cope.  I don't know if it's getting worse or if it's just the effect of sleep deprivation making me more pessimistic.  

 

I really don't want to reinstate, especially as advice varies so widely on dosage, but I just feel lost at the moment.  Looking at the diary, the over-the-counter antihistamine type meds have helped a bit so I might add those back in, but I feel exhausted and at the end of my tether this morning.  On the other hand, I have already got through 3 months of this and if I didn't feel I was slipping and I knew the end was in sight, I'd probably be able to keep going.

 

To add to the anxiety, my in-laws arrive from Australia on Friday for 5 weeks.  In theory this is good as I'll get more help with the kids, but I find them difficult and they certainly aren't the sort of people to understand mental health issues so I feel I'll have to hide how bad I feel...

 

Please could someone send me a link to accurate digital scales I can get in the UK?   I don't want to make a rash decision when so tired so just thinking through options. I can't speak to my doctor until Monday but I do have some left over pills I could crush.... 

 

[TreeElf]

Hi Skylark, how are you doing now? I'm sorry to hear about the insomnia. It freaks me out sometimes because it's the only thing that hasn't affected me, yet all my other w/d symptoms are severe. I sleep deeply 8 or 9 hours a night though, which is my escape from all this - although I do smoke weed so that could be it too (not recommending, just noting). I saw you did Somatic Experiencing - I'm starting this tomorrow with a local lady who had some knowledge of withdrawal. I realised I really needed to address some of the trauma, not just from childhood/life in general, but from withdrawal itself and previous withdrawal experiences. Are you still doing SE? Hoping you're feeling a little better, you mothers doing this with kids are all saints. Honestly. 

[Skylark1980]

Hi Abby, 

 

I ended up reinstating at a low dose as I had several nights of either no sleep at all or only about 2 hours and couldn't function well enough to look after my family.  I am sleeping so much better and feeling better in general. I'm holding for now but exploring other ways of dealing with underlying stuff now I have some energy back.

 

I'm still having Somatic Experiencing because I don't want to just mask my symptoms with medication (still don't know if it was a relapse or withdrawal although I now realise I could have come off more slowly).  I'm finding SE really helpful - actually had I one earlier today and had quite a release (I have a lot of stored stuff from childhood/bereavement).  So far it has been a really safe way to address physical feelings and emotions, rather than just stay stuck in the head and talk about it - which for me has always been a distraction.  

 

I'm glad the lady you're going to be seeing has some experience of withdrawals - it's a very gentle approach and there's a lot of work with feeling safe before going too deeply into anything too painful.

 

Hope it goes well! x