puthappinessfirst: starting the fight

[puthappinessfirst]

Are there stories of people feeling better as they taper down?

It's hard to find, although I know Brass is one of those people. 

Anyone else?

[puthappinessfirst]

I'm posting this here and maybe one of the mods @Altostrata @ChessieCat can move or copy it into the most relevant topic. The full audio book of The Power of Now. I'm a writer, so I always think paying for these resources is most ethical, but I don't think Tolle would mind, as a lot of us need the words this book provides. 

 

 

[DaveB]

How have you been feeling as you have been holding? Have things gotten better over time? Just haven’t seen an update from you for a bit and I was curious. Hope you are well!

[Carmie]

Hi Happiness, 

 

Just popping around to see how you’re doing, and sending hugs your way🤗

[puthappinessfirst]

5 hours ago, DaveB said:

How have you been feeling as you have been holding? Have things gotten better over time? Just haven’t seen an update from you for a bit and I was curious. Hope you are well!

 

Thank you for the well wishes, Dave. 

 

I'm doing ok, not amazing but not horrible. I distract myself a lot and try to stay positive. My symptoms have stabilized in the month of April. Soon I'll be ready to slowly taper, still trying to decide if I want to go for liquid or compounded pills. But I still have time to figure that out.

[puthappinessfirst]

8 minutes ago, Carmie said:

Hi Happiness, 

 

Just popping around to see how you’re doing, and sending hugs your way🤗

 

Hi Carmie,

 

So lovely to hear from you. How was your concert? I'm supposed to see Willie Nelson in the near future. I have to get some fringed clothes so I can look the part when I go!

 

I'm pretty sure I'm at my WD normal. After my CT crash, adverse reaction, and RI, I think things are going a lot better than they could be. Maybe it's because I had been on no other meds before and didn't try a plethora of them after I crashed. I also never stopped and restarted my meds before all this. I was always very consistent. 

 

*knocking on wood here*

[Carmie]

Hi Happiness, 

 

Glad to hear you’re doing okay. Enjoy the Willie Nelson concert. Yes, something with a fringe is the way to go. I’ve got a nice vest with fringes, I love fringes and crochet clothes. 

 

My concert was great, but the anhedonia was pretty bad still. It doesn’t stop me from doing the things I love though. We have to try and live as normal a life as possible. 

 

Hope you have many more good days💚

[puthappinessfirst]

6 minutes ago, Carmie said:

My concert was great, but the anhedonia was pretty bad still. It doesn’t stop me from doing the things I love though. We have to try and live as normal a life as possible. 

 

Agree with you there. I'm out and about more than I was while I was "stable" on meds. Distraction is key and being around people usually makes me feel better, less alone. Plus gives me something positive to look forward to. I get bad when I stay in bed and ruminate. 

[Carmie]

Just now, puthappinessfirst said:

 

Agree with you there. I'm out and about more than I was while I was "stable" on meds. Distraction is key and being around people usually makes me feel better, less alone. Plus gives me something positive to look forward to. I get bad when I stay in bed and ruminate. 

 

That’s true Happiness,

Let’s continue to make nice memories no matter how awful we feel. I love having fun things to look forward to. If I’m too sick on the day, well I’ll do something another day, but just having things to look forward to makes a difference. 

 

Next month I’m going to a bird park twice, with two different groups of friends. The birds fly on you, you just have to be careful you don’t have anything loose and dangly on as they’ll fly away with it. A friend of mine nearly lost his glasses once. I’m going to be wearing long sleeves too as they can scratch and bite too. I looooove nature. I’m also hoping to go to Australia Zoo again in the near future. I have to see the meerkats again. Awwww! So cute!

 

I’ve got a number of friends that have asked me to visit and stay with them too, I’ll have to get around to doing that too. I’ve just been so sick with CFS. I’m spending lots of time in bed. I’ll get to visit them all one day. 

 

Here’s to continuing to have fun things to look forward to.💚

[puthappinessfirst]

The bird park sounds so fun! I love animals too, they make me feel so happy! 

That will be a really fun experience, just don't lose your glasses! 😂

That reminds me of grabby monkeys in Thailand. (I've never been, but lots of friends have). 

 

I currently go to equine therapy once a week and I love it. 

I had a really magical experience during my last session, I almost cried. The therapist/trainer was in awe! 

It's always a highlight of my week. 

[puthappinessfirst]

Will someone post the instructions for the pill to liquid crossover for me, please? 

 

Cant seem to locate it.

 

@ChessieCat @Gridley

[Gridley]

10 hours ago, puthappinessfirst said:

Will someone post the instructions for the pill to liquid crossover for me, please? 

 

 

3/4 dose pill, 1/4 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

1/2 dose pill, 1/2 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

1/4 dose pill, 3/4 dose liquid for 3 to 7 days

all liquid thereafter

[puthappinessfirst]

Thank you very much @Gridley

[puthappinessfirst]

Day 4 of my crossover to liquid, on 3/4 pill and 1/4 liquid. 

I am feeling a difference today. 

Woke up at 1am in a panic for no reason, but was able to fall back asleep quickly. 

Then woke up at my normal time a bit more shaky. 

 

I will definitely be on this stage of the crossover for a few more days to make it at least a full week.

[intothewoods]

@puthappinessfirst, just checking to see how you're feeling on Day 5 of your crossover. Hope the night panic was just a blip and things are holding steady.

 

Cheering you on from the other side of the continent. 🙆‍♀️

 

Catherine 💙

 

 

[puthappinessfirst]

Hi my friend @intothewoods ❤

 

The night panic did seem to be a blip... *knock on wood* The next night I slept fine, woke near my normal time. And last night's sleep was ok too. Woke up a bit too early but nothing crazy. Definitely no abrupt awakening with pounding heart. 

 

I did have a drop in mood on Thursday, however. It scared me but didnt last too long. I was starting to feel quite sad and hopeless. I spent a lot of time distracting myself and having a movie night with a friend. It helped and my mood leveled out. 

 

Once my week is up at this stage of the crossover, I'll be 50% pill, 50% liquid. Ive never taken prescribed liquid medication (minus cough syrup and things of that nature) so I think you were right in your message to me about my body acclimating to the change. It's probably thinking, NOW what 🙄

 

I feel a bit of shakiness but that seems to be the norm for many and just solidifies that crossing over slowly is safer than a direct switch. I'm just always terrified of akathisia coming back, as thats what basically poisoned me with SI. 

 

Ill talk to you sooooon, my friend. 

[puthappinessfirst]

Very fatigued today. 

 

I had a stressful day yesterday and fell asleep late. The external stress took its toll on me. 

[puthappinessfirst]

Would love mods to weigh in:

@Gridley @ChessieCat @Altostrata @eymen23

 

My dear friend @intothewoods thinks my dip in mood the other day as well as the night panic might be a sign of destabilization as it pertains to the switch from pill form to liquid citalopram. Especially since I am only at 3/4 pill and 1/4 liquid. Any thoughts? Or is this kind of a switchover "normal"? 

[intothewoods]

Hi @puthappinessfirst

 

I'm so glad you reached out to the mods because you sure seem to have an abrupt shift with the crossover. My concern was if you should make the next cross now as scheduled or hold until your body acclimates. 

 

Just my experience with oral solutions :

Depending on the manufacturer, the generic you're taking could have less active drug or could have fillers you're sensitive to. Mainly, when I tried to cross slowly to fluoxetine oral solution (Auro-bindo I think), I had WDs and had to go back to the pill within 3 weeks. Same with Elavil. But once I made my own oral solution, my body recognized it. 

 

I'm not at all suggesting you do that, just maybe give your body a bit more  time to adjust to the liquid as you crossover then stay with the same generic solution. 

 

So sorry yesterday was rough. Hope today is better. ❤️ 

[Gridley]

10 minutes ago, puthappinessfirst said:

the switch from pill form to liquid citalopram.

Some "bumps" along the way are normal in a switchover and generally resolve fairly quickly.  You might, as intothewoods suggests, hold an extra 3-4 days in each stage.  

 

Keep monitoring your symptoms as you continue.  Most do fine on liquid but some don't.  If necessary, you can always cross-taper back to pills.  

 

[intothewoods]

4 minutes ago, Gridley said:

Some "bumps" along the way are normal in a switchover and generally resolve fairly quickly

 

Thanks, @Gridley! This is the key and I couldn't find the words but you'll know @puthappinessfirstwhen it resolves. 

 

Your brain and body were terribly traumatized and I just don't want you to ever have to go near there again. 

 

Happy thoughts to California (and practice driving those curves 🚘😅). 

 

[eymen23]

1 hour ago, puthappinessfirst said:

My dear friend @intothewoods thinks my dip in mood the other day as well as the night panic might be a sign of destabilization as it pertains to the switch from pill form to liquid citalopram. Especially since I am only at 3/4 pill and 1/4 liquid. Any thoughts? Or is this kind of a switchover "normal"?

 

Hi PHF,

 

Any change in dosage, timing or medication formulation can result in a flare up of symptoms and an increased frequency/intensity of waves. 

 

I have recently transitioned from Escitalopram tablets to liquid and I certainly experienced a flare up of symptoms across that period and although feeling much better now, am giving my body more time to adjust to the new formulation. 

 

Different formulations may be dosed slightly differently, but perhaps more importantly can also be absorbed slightly differently by the body. 

 

By the sounds of it, there is no reason to panic and you will hopefully settle on 1/4 of the liquid medication. Once you feel more stable, continue the transition process (1/2 and 1/2 etc). If you are unable to stabilise using the liquid even after allowing adequate transition time, then you may be best off transitioning back and staying on tablets. 

[puthappinessfirst]

Thank you @eymen23 @Gridley @intothewoods for all your opinions and concerns. It was very helpful! 

 

I appreciate all yalls time 😊

[puthappinessfirst]

On the 14th I started 50/50 liquid/pill, fine so far. 

[puthappinessfirst]

Feeling a little "blippy" this morning, but nothing too bad. Seems as though days 3 and 4 are my less ideal days for crossover, but it's fine. 

That might be how it goes when I actually start tapering, which is good to know/be aware of. 

Only thing to note would be some anxiety this morning and waking up at 430am ish. Oh well. 

 

I am going away for the weekend. I have a wedding to attend and am actually looking forward to it, as all my best friends will be there. 

 

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend <3 

[intothewoods]

3 hours ago, puthappinessfirst said:

Seems as though days 3 and 4 are my less ideal days for crossover, but it's fine. 

 

Wonderful that you can see a pattern and it's only a couple of days!

 

3 hours ago, puthappinessfirst said:

I am going away for the weekend. I have a wedding to attend and am actually looking forward to it, as all my best friends will be there. 

 

Awesome. Best friends and weddings are a sure antidote for this withdrawal rodeo. 😅   Have a great time, @puthappinessfirst! 

[puthappinessfirst]

Well if it's not infe thing, it's another. 

 

The wedding was so fun and beautiful. I had no stress and felt pretty normal. I was surrounded by some of my best friends and we all had such a great time. The venue was half inside and half outside, unfortunately there was heavy rain all throughout the day. 

 

Not sure if it was just "my time" to get sick or if it was sitting outside in the wet, cold, but I came home sick and it hit me like a truck. Yesterday I had to go to urgent care because I couldn't breathe. I had a heavy, tight chest with lots of shallow breathing and wheezing. I was coughing up loads of gross stuff. They gave me a medrol (steroid) injection because my lungs were so inflamed. I also had a nebulizer treatment. My heart rate was fluctuating between 140 and 150 bpm. I was on the verge of tears the whole time because of how traumatized I am by doctors and medicine after my CT and akathisia. Ive never had such a strong, negative emotional reaction like that to really any situation, so it definitely felt like a trauma response. Like PTSD ish. 

 

I'm still feeling crappy today but seems like the injection helped as my chest isn't tight and it's not so hard to breathe. I'm just drinking a lot of fluids and resting. 

[sunnysideup69]

Sorry to read this but sound like you're doing exactly the right things. Rest, rest and rest. Sending good healing wishes your way

[intothewoods]

Yikes. Sorry for the rotten timing, @puthappinessfirst. I'm glad you could enjoy most of the wedding and be with your friends. If you were coughing up gross stuff, it's likely a bacterial infection and was ready to emerge.

 

The trauma of urgent care was probably the hardest. In addition to the blunt force of CT memories with docs, you didn't know if they'd end up giving you something that would wreck your taper.  Urgent care and ERs are not places of refuge and cure for us but danger and uncertainty. 

 

You survived -- yes! 

 

Hugs for Healing   🤗

 

Catherine

Edited May 21, 2019 by intothewoods
added thoughts from dead brain :)

[puthappinessfirst]

7 hours ago, intothewoods said:

The trauma of urgent care was probably the hardest. In addition to the blunt force of CT memories with docs, you didn't know if they'd end up giving you something that would wreck your taper.  Urgent care and ERs are not places of refuge and cure for us but danger and uncertainty. 

 

Correct, @intothewoods. I'm terrified of triggering akathisia most of all, so it was a very hard day for me. Lots of whimpering phone calls to my mom. 

 

Today is slightly better. So hopefully I'm slowly on the mend. 

[puthappinessfirst]

Holy crap.

Whatever I caught at this wedding, I caught it good. 

A friend who I stayed with also got the same bug as me, so I know it isn't just me. 

 

Yesterday was pretty bad, just feeling so sick, which always ramps up mental symptoms as well, even in a typically healthy person. 

Luckily a friend came over and he brought me food and we listened to music and relaxed. 

How could you not feel happy listening to If I Can't Have You by Shawn Mendes?? 

 

Today is the first day of this bug where I don't feel like I need to curl up and die. 

Hopefully another weekend of rest and I will feel a lot better. 

 

Keep on truckin! 

[Carmie]

Hope you get over your bug soon Happiness, 

 

Sending hugs🤗

[puthappinessfirst]

7 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hope you get over your bug soon Happiness, 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

Thank you for popping in Carmie. Lovely to see you and hope you're getting by. 

 

Xx

[puthappinessfirst]

Just making a note that 2 nights ago I transitioned to full liquid dose.

[puthappinessfirst]

Hitting my "normal" 3/4 day turbulence. Woke up early just before 5am with heavy anxiety. Just gonna keep powering through. 

[sunnysideup69]

Just now, puthappinessfirst said:

Hitting my "normal" 3/4 day turbulence. Woke up early just before 5am with heavy anxiety. Just gonna keep powering through. 

 

You've got this, happiness.

Sending you good wishes x