ItsPat just on Depakote now

[ItsPat]

Recently stopped other medications under doctors supervision. Complicating factors are long shifts at work, for half the week, 11.5 hours. As long as I get sleep, the other medications, which included antidepressants and antipsychotics, dont seem to be needed. Just having a routine and being awake during my days off feeling "new" is kind of disconcerting, but I don't know how much my depakote is holding me back, vs holding me together. What are the right questions to ask myself and my doctor? I got this far, but it is like, working in reverse from the hospital which breaks me in one way, and I get better and better until I have no help and don't realize I broke my mind again in a different fashion.

[ItsPat]

Started off with zoloft, risperdol, 1st medicated 6 years old.

 

Flushed my life away when I became an adult, literally & metaphorically when I stopped everything one year, then 2 days of seroquil then hospital.

 

They put me on Geodone, Lithium, Clonopine, Neurontin. Not sure what yhe antidepressants were that time. a few circuits before a doctor put the brakes on increasing dosages and kept me out of the hospital for years, working, on Depakote, Lexapro, and Abilify.

 

Tried to come off everything, but depakote is always tricky. I think it's the blood serum level, or I may just have to tolerate that 1 last one, and I ended up in the hospital with unknown injections & Haldol, Abilify, Mirtazapine, & more that I forget the name of. I would have to update later if possible.

 

Currently just on Depakote now, and showing more tact & inderstanding in public. Like I said, Depakote is tricky for me. 2k currently. Organizing to at least lower tgis last med, if not eliminate. May have to reuptake when things do not go right. Thats what we did, every week if I wasnt right and sleeping over the weekend before the workweek I would go right back on what I discontinued. been slow, taking 2 steps forward, 1 ateps back. Still progress with mistakes. working on setting up on this forum, not sure of my current blood serum level for depakote. still twitching from discontinuing abilify, lexapro, and mirtazapine in my eyelids, so i think its time to settle in my own skin for a few months before making any harsh decisions. May lower The depakote, but not eliminate in those months, undecided.

 

Please tell me if I need to clean this post up a bit. Everything is kind of mish mash right now. Good, but I don't function. Like, arrested development style, why don't I know how to do that, I am in my 30s style stuff. Can't be angry anout the past at all though. Gotta move forward.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, ItsPat.

 

What was the last drug you came off, and when? Did your symptom pattern change after that? Are you having trouble sleeping? What is your work schedule? What is your sleep schedule?

 

It sounds like you got withdrawal syndrome when you "flushed my life away" and went off the drugs some time back and have been on a drug merry-go-round ever since. Unfortunately, this is not unusual.

 

You're taking 2,000mg Depakote now? Did you get abnormal blood tests from it? What is your daily drug schedule, what times of day and dosages?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this. Please include approximate dates with dosages for the last couple of years.

 

Your questions are good ones:

3 hours ago, ItsPat said:

Recently stopped other medications under doctors supervision. Complicating factors are long shifts at work, for half the week, 11.5 hours. As long as I get sleep, the other medications, which included antidepressants and antipsychotics, dont seem to be needed. Just having a routine and being awake during my days off feeling "new" is kind of disconcerting, but I don't know how much my depakote is holding me back, vs holding me together. What are the right questions to ask myself and my doctor? I got this far, but it is like, working in reverse from the hospital which breaks me in one way, and I get better and better until I have no help and don't realize I broke my mind again in a different fashion.

 

See Creating a new self after withdrawal and our Finding Meaning forum.