Olivia2386: intro - my 10 year history

[Olivia2386]

Hello,

 

My name is Olivia and I’ve been on and off antidepressants for the last 10 years. It’s crazy to say that, because it goes to show how much it has affected my life. Since the first pill I took in 2009, my life was forever changed. It started when I CONVINCED myself I had ADHD, even going as far as to cheating a medical exam that “could prove” if I had it or not. Actually taking the medicine, I felt so good, so absolute sure I was going to be cured, and successful. That all came to an end when the lack of sleep lead to a full blown panic attack that lead me to the ER, only to find I was in fact NOT dying of a heart attack. When I got off the medicine (40mg 1x day of Dexedrine), I went into a downward spiral. This was when I decided to take a semester off from art school, and get better at home.

 

The break didn’t do much, I really needed therapy but instead I went back to finish school, this time I would take another drug to help me focus and something to help me sleep. It was trazadone and focalin I took next. It got me through my senior year of art school, barely. As soon as I walked to get my diploma, I decided to cut those drugs cold turkey.

 

I was in a fog. My boss at my new job, working at a grocery store, almost fired me because I didn’t appear present nor happy. But I assured them I wanted the job, just needed to get some personal stuff out of the way. To which brought me to Zoloft. It helped my energy and feeling of balance again. The side effects, I didn’t realize until years later, were joint pain. I was blinded by the fact that this drug was helping me, that when I started to have severe pain in my body, I thought for sure it was something I had developed since my family has a history of autoimmune diseases.

 

Sure enough, I went on to taking in addition to Zoloft, a non narcotic pain medication by the name of Neurontin. I was taking neurontin 3x day 300mg each. It helped, but I was still a mess. I lost most of my close friends from college, even though we lived in the same town. I was living with a family of alcoholics just so I could live in the expensive city I went to school in. 

 

Then I decided to go back home. It was the best choice I had ever made. It lead to the support of my family and eventually, I was able to get off the meds. It took seeing my family to help me take a good hard look at myself and to decide what to do next. I got off my meds cold turkey, had the worst zaps whip and zip throughout my body and brain. For two weeks I couldn’t stop crying. Eventually those withdrawal affects went away.

 

I would like to say I continued off the meds, but only after two years of being off them, I was in another crisis and too afraid of my emotions. I was dealing with a whole new set of life changes again, and I didn’t know how to cope with them. But the new therapist who I had really could understand me and she helped me find a good combination of antidepressants. 

 

It’s been three years since I started back on the antidepressants. Im currently taking 40 mg of Paxil, and 150mg of Wellbutrin. A lot has changed over the course of three years. I ended up moving back to where this whole cycle started, living in my college town, but this time with a new feeling of confidence. I started a new career. I gained a new relationship with someone really understanding and great. I don’t feel the need to change anything. Except for one thing. I want children. It won’t be for another couple years until I start trying. But I think about the complications and what my medicine could do to a child if it were in my body. I also wonder long term. Can this really be safe? Why am I taking antidepressants if I no longer feel depressed? 

 

I thank you if you’ve gotten all the way through my story. I know it’s a lot of information. Please give me any advice or tell me how you honestly feel about antidepressants. Seeing the harm it does to people really scares me and I’m very afraid of being off the medication. I wonder if I’m tainted or damaged because of my history with them. I wish I could go back in time, never had taken the pill that started this whole ordeal from the beginning. 

 

 

 

[Shep]

Hi, Olivia.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. 

 

40 mg of Paxil, and 150mg of Wellbutrin is potentially a very dangerous combination. Please see the drug interaction checker:

 

Drug Interaction Checker - Paxil and Wellbutrin

 

Quote

 

Interactions between your drugs

Major

bupropion  paroxetine

Applies to: Wellbutrin (bupropion), Paxil (paroxetine)

Talk to your doctor before using buPROPion together with PARoxetine. Combining these medications may increase the risk of seizures, which may occur rarely with either medication. In addition, buPROPion can increase the blood levels of PARoxetine, which may increase other side effects. You may be more likely to experience seizures with these medications if you are elderly, undergoing alcohol or drug withdrawal, have a history of seizures, or have a condition affecting the central nervous system such as a brain tumor or head trauma. Your doctor may be able to prescribe alternatives that do not interact, or you may need a dose adjustment or more frequent monitoring by your doctor to safely use both medications. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol during treatment. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

 

It's going to be important to keep these drugs spaced apart from each other. What time(s) of day to you take your drugs? 

 

For information about tapering: 

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

Tips for tapering off Wellbutrin, SR, XR, XL (buproprion)

Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine)

 

For information about withdrawal:

 

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery video (4 minutes)

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

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Please continue to use this thread to document your taper and to ask questions. 

[Olivia2386]

@Shep thanks for the information. I’m actuallh shocked because my psychiatrist prescribed me both those drugs. I take Paxil at night and Wellbutrin in the morning. I really don’t mind the two, but I’m worried that it can cause seizures. I’ve been experiences more chest tightness recently, and I don’t have a specialist right now. I could call my primary and ask her what she recommends, since she’s the person who has been refilling my prescription. I have a lot of changes with my job happening, as I recently was unemployed and just got hired to work at two places part time. 

[Shep]

Does the Paxil make you feel sedated in the evening? How many hours do you sleep at night?

 

You may want to come off the Wellbutrin first, especially if it's a morning drug and if you find it stimulating, or at least, not sedating. 

 

Congratulations on getting work. Perhaps a micro-taper will be the best way to keep you as functional as possible. 

 

Micro-taper instead of 10% or 5% decreases

 

The Brassmonkey Slide Method of Micro-tapering

 

Please don't forget to set up your signature. The instructions are in my previous post.