persistente: presently in a window but scared of a new wave

[mstimc]

Don't judge yourself too harshly.  The things we do in the drip of a wave are not who we are.  Deep down, you know you will recover because you're recognizing windows when you have them. Hang onto those moments when you feel a wave hitting you. 

[Iecc]

Hang in there! Read through your story and I know you are strong!

 

I just have a question which could be relevant to all: how do you distinguish wave and relapse, especially after a long period like many years ?

[persistente]

I often worry that I am not getting what is wrong with me. My waves can be so horrible that it seems my brain is dead.  I doubt each wave that this is not wd but some other illness coming from my brain.

 

I know how I can be sad, depressed, upset. I was that before ADs. This is different. Brain damage but comes in waves. When it is over I know it was a wave.  Because all that pain, terror, agitation disapears and I feel like that was not real. But it was very real. Maybe I am not making much sense. Sorry. I do not feel completly well. Last wave has beaten me up. Was too long.