Ronja: dealing with sertraline

[Ronja]

Dear all 

This is my first post here and I must first say that english is not my native language. I will do my best. Also, thank you for putting into words what you all are going through. I didn’t know. I so wish I had known. You are all so brave but I guess, what choice do one have?
 

I stopped taking setraline January 2020. I do want this to be the final time, I have tried several times before.

 

first time I was given setraline was 12 years ago. I was a new mother and was seeking help for my fatigue and moodswings. The doctor smiled and ordered setraline. ”It helps, you need it!” He never checked out anything else and from what I know now, at least my ferritin probably was very low. 
 

in someway setraline have helped me, at least in the beginning but it has also made my feel blunted. I am a painter and a high-sensitive Person. I feel that the drugs kept me away from feeling things deep. I have always liked that part of me. I can no longer paint or write or dream. I have lost it. 

I have, since then, been on and off four times. Shorter in between every time. Last time I stopped before this, was in november 2017 and I restarted again in May 2018. Because of to much symptoms, wich I then did not know was WD symptoms. They have always told me its because I need the setraline. 
 

I was on 50 mg for about a year, I did go up to 75mg for a month, beacause I felt I was still having anxiety.  but then I just felt so strong that this is the wrong way to go. So after a month I decided to taper. I was then excercing several times a week at a gym and feeling really strong for the first time in years and i was sure that it would help me.  
i stayed on 50 mg for about three months. Then I was on 25 for maybe four months and my final , 12,5 mg I held for about two months. I thought I did a slow taper.

 

all went quite well in the beginning after point 0. Of course I felt dizzy. I had Brain zaps, I was very tired, felt strange things but it was all right, I had been throught it before. 
after two months I started to get a sore throat. Everything in my mouth hurted. It is Burning and it also feels like something is stuck and I have to swallow, but when I do, it is so scary. I have seen the doctor. First they gave me naproxen. That I only took once, because it made me feel even more sick. Then I hade antibiotics but that did not help. I went to a specialist and he said my throat looked normal. I was a little reliefed by that but my symptoms are still there. I have tried eating low histamin food. I do not know of it helps, maybe with the burning part. But not enough. I also have a lot of anxiety and as I am in a pre-menopause age ( I am 45) I don’t know if that is worsening my symptoms. 
i feel very lonely. I have children that needs me of course and I am so so sad. I have not been able to work, being a normal person. Everything is just exhausting. I go for walks every day, trying to be outside as much as possible. Sometimes just sitting on a blanket. I have stopped drinking coffee, I don’t do any other drugs, No alcohol. Try to eat healthy. No sugar.
i can not work out anymore. I feel my body can not. Sometimes a walk is to much. I have been off Setraline for 19 weeks now.

 

I take magnesium, iron (as I have very low ferritin), Omega-3, c-vitamin, d-vitamin and zink. 
 

i know I did a fast taper on that lowest dose, do you think I should start again with a small dose? Do you think that Will help my burning mouth? I am so so afraid of going through the hell I went through during April. It was awful. I thought I was dying. Still I sometimes think so but I also have better days. Like when I am in between my periods. Then it is a little better. 
 

i think I just need to be listened to. During all these years I have felt it is only me. I have been week and boring. Lost all of my friends. Could never really do something for real, except being a mother. I have struggeled so much and never really have I felt the feeling of being normal and in a moment. And No doctor had ever explained anything. I am worried about my symptoms. They scare me, as if maybe it is something really, really wrong with me? I have a supportive partner and I know I am in so many ways lucky. I Wish I could feel that way to.

 

there is much more than this of course but I try to keep it short. Sorry if it is to long, and I apologize for my bad english.

Thank you for reading this far.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Ronja.

 

Thank you for that fine Introduction.

 

You have been off sertraline since January 2020? Would you say your symptoms have gotten better or worse in the last 2 months?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

[Ronja]

Thank you so much, Altostrata. I have tried to put my history in my signature. Hope it is ok.

My answer must be that it is better than before. Mostly because I have found this site and are little less afraid of my symptoms, now that I know what it is. Before I was terrified all the time that I had fallen into something else.

 

I have read that some side effects of taking the pills of Setraline, can be what my symptoms are now. Is that possible, to have like an opposite effect? Like I am dealing with pain in my mouth now but did not when I was taking the drug? 

It would be so much easier to deal with if I just knew it was a symptome from WD

[Altostrata]

No, it sounds like you have withdrawal syndrome from sertraline. We have people here with burning skin syndrome.

 

How are you sleeping now? What is your sleep pattern?

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[Ronja]

Thank you Altostrata. I take both omega and magnesium.

My sleep is ok for now, thank you. In the second and third month, when quitting, my sleep was then worse. I had trouble falling asleep and I used to wake up several times with anxiety and my heart was beating so fast. That is better now.

I have had some good days lately, feeling better. 

I went to have acupuncture, I dont know if it will help but I am willing to try. Unfortunately I don´t trust the regular healthcare as they doesn´t have time for you really. 

 

but now I am feeling worse again. It is the same as always, my throat is sore and I feel like I have something stuck on my left side. My tounge is also hurting and anxiety is worse. Well, I hope this too will pass.

 

Just updating for my own to have something to look back on and it also feels good to write it down. I have now been off for 20 weeks.

 

Love, Ronja

[Ronja]

Just a little uppdate.

I don’t write much here as I think others doing it better but sometimes I read and feel that I am not alone.

Things are generally better I guess. Like my throat is not sore anymore! It doesn’t hurt when I am eating. And during the summer I could talk a little bit more to people, doing normal things. Being quite a good mother too.

But as I reached the 7 months off my drug  (yeay!) my emotions on every thing and about people I meet, are very very strong. And it is no nice feelings. Its a lot of envy. I compare my self to almost every one. Sometimes I have strong anger and a lot of lonliness and self-hate. Questions like, ”why didn’t I do diffrent?” And so on. I read about neuro-emotions and I feel and hope that it must be realated. Its very hard I think. I try now every time, when my thoughts are negative, to stop and look at them. But the thing is, my life is very lonely, so that is hard to get by. 
Also I tried to start running again, but my body did not answear good. I have now a back pain and think I have to stay with only taking daily walks. 
Well just a little uppdate. I try to live a normal life and I guess I am sometimes hard on myself. I thought I would be better, feeling better, by this time, and that makes me sad too. So many days and years. But still, when I am feeling better, maybe I will enjoy life even more. 
I know I have to make some changes in my life but right now, it doesn’t seem to be the right time. I will wait for that day. 
 

 

[ChessieCat]

Thank you for coming back to let us know how you are.

 

It's going to take time for your brain to get used to not getting the sertraline.  Even though you did taper you tapered faster than SA recommends (10% of current dose about every 4 weeks).  You also stopped taking the drug at 6.25mg.  We suggest trying to get the  dose down to at least 0.625mg before stopping.

 

And recovering doesn't happen in a linear way but in a windows and waves pattern:

 

the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization

 

You might find these topics helpful:

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

dealing-with-emotional-spirals

 

Please continue to let us know how you are doing.

[Ronja]

Thank you so much ChessieCat! I know you are right. I felt, after writing the above, that I need to take a step back. Need to slow down. I wanted so much to be all functional again so I tried harder than what was good. But with four kids, all you want is them to have a Happy summer. Yesterday I took a nap again in the afternoon, I havent done that in months. But school has started again and I can focus a little bit more on myself. I will stop reading the news again. That only makes me worried and in that emotional spiral. Not read on social media. Because that triggers a lot of feelings. Be more kind. It is ok to be a little boring. I fact I like those people the most myself. 
 

Thank you again, it was good to write down what I am going through. 

[ChessieCat]

Yes, you do still need to take care of yourself and not overdo things.  And steering clear of triggers is a good idea.  I rarely watch TV, don't listen to the radio and other than having a couple FB sites that I following which keeps me up to date if there is an emergency, I look at the news online when it suits me.

[bijay]

@Ronja  Hello, I also have throat and burning mouth problems.  It is great to hear your throat feels much better - is the burning in your mouth gone as well?  Hope you have continued to see improvements in all aspects of your recovery.  Hugs to you!

[Ronja]

5 hours ago, bijay said:

@Ronja  Hello, I also have throat and burning mouth problems.  It is great to hear your throat feels much better - is the burning in your mouth gone as well?  Hope you have continued to see improvements in all aspects of your recovery.  Hugs to you!

Dear Bijay, Thank you for writing. I am sorry you have throat-problems. I want to make you glad by saying that my throat problems are much better. It just went away when I stopped thinking to much about it. Or maybe it was my body that stopped sending signals that something was wrong...I really know it so much easier said than done but I have done a lot of Guided meditation and also went to have acupuncture. I don’t know what helped the most but I think a combination of everything and most of all maybe, Time! Actually, almost everything has improved, even my over-all anxiety, and my sleep and it has now been over 10 months since I first stopped the drugs. The burning in my mouth can show up now and then but Its not so intense as it was in the beginning and most of all: it doesn’t bother me any more. I know its related to when I eat high-histamine food. So I have tried to avoid food like that. Tried to eat fresh food as much as possible. Have you read about it? Its very much written about it in this forum. It makes much sense. 
Its a long long process but its getting better for every wave and day that pass. That is true!

take care! 
hugs 

/Ronja

 

[bijay]

Quote

Dear @Ronja, that is all very good news!  I think the body has tremendous ways of healing itself, and once I get off these drugs I am hopeful that over time that the healing will begin.  One of the drugs I am taking, amitriptyline, I have heard can intefere with the body's ability to process histamine, so I wonder if that could also be a factor with the burning mouth.  

 

Thank you so much for your speedy reply.  Today in the US it is Thanksgiving Day, so I wish you Happy Thanksgiving from the bottom of my heart! 

 

[Sleepless]

Hello @Ronja

I am 6 months free of sertraline.  I am so glad you are healing.  Your post gives me great hope that I will also heal.  🙂

[Hawkfeather]

Hello All,

I am on taper trial part 3. My doctors plan did not work and when I went back for another plan from him the prescription he sent it was increased by 85mg. I had to go the office have this corrected and asked the nurse for the calculations for dosage of liquid form, she was not able to help me, so I got the liquid form and have been doing all the calculations myself and tapering at 10 percent per month. I am now on my second taper down and have had to hold at 20 mg as my anxiety increased again with a few panic attacks. This has been a difficult process but I am determined to keep my chin up and repeat positive affirmations, talk with my anxiety and thank it for it's purpose but it is not longer needed at it's current level. 

Keep up the good work everyone and hold on tight, we got this!!! Much Love and Light!! 

 

HF

[Ronja]

On 11/26/2020 at 9:43 PM, Sleepless said:

Hello @Ronja

I am 6 months free of sertraline.  I am so glad you are healing.  Your post gives me great hope that I will also heal.  🙂

Oh I am glad to send some light. 6 months is a very good job! i know its the worst time. But I am sure you will heal. Just take it slow. I had a lot of feelings when I was around 6 months off. Like anger and lots of memories that kept coming back to me. Not nice ones. But this forum helped me a lot. So thankful for that. I am still not all right. I have waves that comes and goes. But you know, I look forward to my one year mark. I was glad for your words, Thank you!

hugs/Ronja 

 

 

 

 

[Ronja]

@bijayThank you so much! thanksgiving is a very fine tradition. Unfortunately we don’t celebrate it here, but blackfriday is something we have embraced...A not so nice tradition at all. 
Anyway this year, is a very diffrent year, the covid-19 and on top, getting off a drug that makes the anxiety even  worse. It is so nice to know we are many going through the same thing and that you’re not alone. Thank you again for writing. 
All the best for you!

[Annazoloft]

Thank you for the thread Ronja. I am a lonely mother too, and just tired and out of it all the time. I couldn't get my doctor to give me liquid Setraline and I was having trouble measuring a consistent dose, so I just stoped taking it after 12mg. That was almost 2 months ago. I had a couple days where my nose would start running and dripping all of a sudden, and it felt like there was something stuck on the left side of my throat. Then it went away. So strange. I hope this process doesn't drag on for months but we'll see. If I could do it over I would have switched doctors in hopes that I could have found one to support my decision to get off antidepressants and give me a liquid dose. Actually, I did talk to another doctor the other day, and she told me that if I have had struggles with low level depression most of my life it means I need to be on drugs the rest of my life (even though I was successful treating with exercise and a healthy life style before a traumatic event.) 

[Ronja]

Long time now since I wrote here. I just passed my one year mark. I remember it was January 18th 2020 when I took the my last setraline.

 

i have been feeling better the last months, but lately, the last week or two, I am embraced with a lot of anxiety again. Its the first thing I feel when I wake up. I am sensitive to sounds, to people. Feeling that I am worseless and a lot of sadness.
i also have a lot of health anxiety and my stomach is not really working well. 
 

I try to think if its something I have done diffrent. But I can’t really see. There is a lot of worries about the future, maybe its that.

I also have a strange burning feeling in my lower back/anus that won’t go away. I have never felt that before. 
 

I think I need to be more gentle, don’t push. I compare myself to others quite a lot, it’s like a desease in it self. There is so much I wanted to do but I never did. That bothers me a lot. 
 

well, not an uplifting note really. Sorry for that. 

 

[Ronja]

On 1/16/2021 at 6:03 AM, Annazoloft said:

Thank you for the thread Ronja. I am a lonely mother too,

I feel for you Anna♥️, Wish I could say something to make you feel better. Hope you are feeling better now and sorry for my late respond.

[DaBro]

@RonjaI feel for you. Be strong. I read your story and can fully relate to the symptoms, both physical and emotional. It is not you, it’s WD. 

 

I can fully relate to the self criticism and fears and regrets. I also have periods I think negatively about the past and future. I try to remind myself of the things I did right and remind myself it is WD. It has improved with time: I had 5 good days last week but back in a (hopefully short) wave now. 

 

Be kind, be patient. 

[Ronja]

@DaBrothank you for your kind words, it means a lot. 
I am so tired, this has been going on for a year, just as long as the covid-19. 
But we just have to have hope that both things will get better, right?

 

I did some excercising today, it felt quite good. I will try to do it more often. Do things that I know is good for me. Set other things aside.
 

Thank you again for writing @DaBro

[Hawkfeather]

I's all a tough ride. I have been going through withdrawals for almost a year now and can see the light. I have many tools from diet, exercise and people. I call someone when I am on a ledge and it gets me to a place where I can think straight. I take Gaba supplement to calm me down, Jolly good-bye stress, Magnesium powder in water and eat very well and frequently. Out gut and brain are directly linked so if the stomach is not happy the brain probably gets going with the usual thought patterns. the key is to interrupt the old patterns. Guided meditations by Joe Dispenza are helpful and free on youtube. Candece Pert is another great to listen to.  Keep on Keepin on ya'll we got this!!!