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Considerations about "Stability" - Stop jumping around!


Yesyes123

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  • Mentor

"My withdrawal symptoms are so bad, I tried X and it didn't work, so I changed it to Y and it made me even worse, so I am now doing Z hoping to get better by the end of the week!"

 

Every time I see someone say things along these lines, I truly feel bad for them.

 

This type of behavior is like playing ping-pong with your brain and Central Nervous System, as people sometimes say around here.

And I don't mean only with psychiatric drugs - that goes for supplements, sleep patterns, food, etc.

 

"Stability" - this post by the amazing @brassmonkeyis spot on, as everything else he puts out.

 

"For some people who are very sensitive to changes in dosage, it may take two or three months for people to stabilize after such an adjustment.  Some people will take even longer."

In this quote he's referring to stabilizing after dose changes in psychiatric drugs - but similar patterns can be seen in many other things, such as supplements.

I often see people taking fish oil or other supplement for 3 days and complaining that it "didn't work" or made them more anxious...

In such short period, there is really no way to see the effect of the substance on you (unless you have a clear, strong and definite adverse reaction immediately).

 

Your body likes stability.

That's the main idea here. If you keep jumping around with supplements, doses, diets, excercise routines, etc, you will very hardly find stability.

 

You need to find something that seems to work for you and stick with it for a while in order to truly benefit from it.

You will definitely have to do some experimenting in order to find what works for you - but that does not mean you are allowed to try every single thing in 1 week hoping to get better sooner. It will take some time... for some, shorter. For others, longer. But we all get there eventually.

 

I have personally only started to see benefits in fish oil after nearly 2 months of taking the same dose daily.

 

Something to think about!

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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- Escitalopram 10mg from ages 15 - 21

- Severe crash after 4 month taper to 0

- Reinstated, stabilized, slowly tapering.

 

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Hellen Keller

I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Excellent post.  I wish every new member would read this as when I read through the issues they are dealing with this may as it may be the number one mistake that is made and the most helpful to get them back on track.

 

I have experienced how fragile stability can be and even seemingly minor changes at times have had severe instability.

 

One example in my experience is that I had been taking Vitamin D prior to withdrawing and kept taking it during withdrawal.  I had bought it from Costco so I had about 3 years worth of pills.  Lol.  Not thinking or noticing that these would be less effective over time, when they started running out I went out and bought new Vitamin D in the same strength.  My body immediately recognized it was too strong and my body was too sensitive.  It caused a severe physical reaction and I was unable to take them.  I tried a couple times and could not cross taper to the new pills.  So I actually had to slowly reduce the dose of my Vitamin D by inserting a syringe into the gel cap and taking out some - amazing that stopping cold turkey on Vitamin D was unbearable!

 

Our CNS is so stressed during this period that even amazingly benign things to the rest of the population can be major triggers for us.

Thank you for your post.  I certainly understand and appreciate that advice.  I hope everyone is able to read it and take advantage of the recommendation.

40 yo Male. Started Paxil about 15 years ago. 10 mg (pill weight .125 - .129 g). 5 yrs wanted less side effects, doctor took me off Paxil over couple week period and put me on Wellbutrin. Not good. Went back on Paxil. Relieved my symptoms, but didn't work as well and more side effects. Severe reaction between Paxil and Zomig Summer of 2012. Head was affected during warmer days (cloudiness, confusion, pressure). Began 10% withdrawal 10/24/12.

Withdrawel helped many symptoms, but also added side effects: nausea, dizziness, tiredness. Hyper-anxiety started January 2014.

Went through a 2 year period of de-realization (2016-2018).  Rarely any windows.  
Current dose: 0.00 as of 4/10/21.  Made a lot of progress in my withdrawal symptoms the last 2 years of my taper.  I think doing a liquid taper helped stabilize things on the lower doses.  A lot of my symptoms have reduced significantly.  Hoping for even more improvement now that I am off.
My thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8909-rusty1-paxil-withdrawal-help-and-advice-welcome/#entry150222

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Thanks for posting this @Yesyes123 

 

As a newer member of the site, I definitely relate to the wish to want to try different things to see if it will help with my withdrawal.  I’ve taken the moderators advice to heart, but even today I found myself wondering if I should try changing up the way I take Mg to see if it will help.  😁

 

patience is a new work-in-progress skill for me.  

2014-now .0625mg Xanax as needed

2017 20 mg Celexa, 2018 10 mg

June 2020 - 15 mg Celexa 

Sept 2020 10 mg Celexa (2 week taper of alternating 15/10 doses)

Jan - Mar 2021 lots of dose changes in attempt to taper Clx per doctor’s recos. 

3/31/21 re-stabilized at 15 mg Celexa
4/30/21- 15 mg split dose (7.5 am & pm)

5/28 - 15 mg, transition 5 mg to liquid

6/22/21 14.5 mg, 7/12 14.4 mg, 9/12 14.3 mg, 12/8 14.0mg, 2/24/22 13.8, 8/27/22 13.4

6/12/23 12.9mg, 12/14/23 12.4 mg 3/17/24 11.7 4/28 10.9 5/5 10.4mg

360 Mg Glyc, probiotic, Vit D, GABA with l-theanine, 1200 mg ashwaghanda, Calcium Magnesium Butyrate, 60mg progesterone, L-Tyrosine 1500 mg, 3 pills ProMulti+ per day, 4 IgG support, 25mg estrogen cream

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  • Moderator Emeritus

This thread is brilliant.  Thank you for posting this.  I'm going to include this with every reply to newbies.  I've seen this happen so much, and it can really screw up an already unstable nervous system. 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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  • Mentor

@Rusty1 @Hopepersists @getofflex Thank you, thank you!

- Escitalopram 10mg from ages 15 - 21

- Severe crash after 4 month taper to 0

- Reinstated, stabilized, slowly tapering.

 

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Hellen Keller

I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Is stability good if you reach poop-out?

Jan 2017: started paroxetine 20mg

Back and forth several times

 

Aug 2019: paroxetine 20mg and zolpiden 6,25

 

Oct 2020: cold turkeyd both paroxetine and zolpiden ( big crash now i am in)

 

Feb 2021: cold switch from paroxetine to venlafaxine( 37,5): didnt work at all

 

March 2021: decided to go back to paroxetine out of despair: venlafaxine 37,5; paroxetine 40mg and zolpiden 6,25( current medication)

 

 

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  • Administrator

If you are experiencing poop-out, it means the drug has worn out its effect on your body. It is a type of stability, but may not feel good. You're in between a rock and a hard place. You might consider slowly tapering off.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Mentor
On 5/17/2021 at 12:28 PM, Matheus said:

Is stability good if you reach poop-out?

 

Stability is always what we aim for, but if you have reached poop-out it means the drug isn't working anymore so I don't see why you'd stay on it on the long term. The only option in my opinion is to slowly and safely taper it off

- Escitalopram 10mg from ages 15 - 21

- Severe crash after 4 month taper to 0

- Reinstated, stabilized, slowly tapering.

 

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Hellen Keller

I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • Mentor

“Everywhere means nowhere. When a person spends all his time in foreign travel, he ends by having many acquaintances, but no friends. And the same thing must hold true of men who seek intimate acquaintance with no single author, but visit them all in a hasty and hurried manner. Food does no good and is not assimilated into the body if it leaves the stomach as soon as it is eaten; nothing hinders a cure so much as frequent change of medicine; no wound will heal when one salve is tried after another; a plant which is often moved can never grow strong. There is nothing so efficacious that it can be helpful while it is being shifted about. And in reading of many books is distraction.”

 

by Lucius Annaeus Seneca 

- Escitalopram 10mg from ages 15 - 21

- Severe crash after 4 month taper to 0

- Reinstated, stabilized, slowly tapering.

 

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Hellen Keller

I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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when the screaming pain is so totally off the charts that you need a change ANY change then the ping pong is actually unavoidable. if you've not dealt with forced hospitalization and drugging you might not know what it's like to be out in those extremes. We have to make choices to keep ourselves out of institutions for example. They'll kill us and we know it. When someone is experiencing those extremes the only way forward is through a crazy bouncing back and forth with the extremes slowly becoming smaller. I have always worked with folks who experience extreme states...long before I came off drugs and started this work. I am also one of them. We are not all alike. I wish to god that what I'm sharing here wasn't true. This is actually why I don't work with folks directly very often anymore. Too many of the folks who contact me are like this because they know I get it. I sustains the PTSD  for me because I too have had to deal with it myself. 

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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4 hours ago, GiaK said:

when the screaming pain is so totally off the charts that you need a change ANY change then the ping pong is actually unavoidable. if you've not dealt with forced hospitalization and drugging you might not know what it's like to be out in those extremes. We have to make choices to keep ourselves out of institutions for example. They'll kill us and we know it. When someone is experiencing those extremes the only way forward is through a crazy bouncing back and forth with the extremes slowly becoming smaller. I have always worked with folks who experience extreme states...long before I came off drugs and started this work. I am also one of them. We are not all alike. I wish to god that what I'm sharing here wasn't true. This is actually why I don't work with folks directly very often anymore. Too many of the folks who contact me are like this because they know I get it. I sustains the PTSD  for me because I too have had to deal with it myself. 

 

You're a hero, I'm glad you made it out of that hell!!

- Escitalopram 10mg from ages 15 - 21

- Severe crash after 4 month taper to 0

- Reinstated, stabilized, slowly tapering.

 

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Hellen Keller

I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • Mentor
10 hours ago, Yesyes123 said:

"nothing hinders a cure so much as frequent change of medicine"

 

I find it amazing that this was said literally thousands of years before AD's existed.

- Escitalopram 10mg from ages 15 - 21

- Severe crash after 4 month taper to 0

- Reinstated, stabilized, slowly tapering.

 

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Hellen Keller

I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Tough It Out

 

We live in a world where the internet and media lead us to think that we should live a life free of pain and troubles.  But, is this realistic?  Has life on earth ever been easy and fun all the time?  No.  Most of us went on psych meds to take away mental anguish.  For many of us, this worked, at first.  But then, for one reason or another, we needed or wanted to get off the drugs.  However, most of us found that getting off of these drugs was not so easy.  The medical people usually recommend a very fast taper, and most of us who try that end up with significant withdrawal symptoms.

 

Unfortunately, we then try to find a solution to take the pain of withdrawal away quickly and easily.  We jump back on the drugs, try a different drug, try a bunch of supplements, etc.  But, isn’t this what got us into trouble in the first place?  Trying to use drugs to fix the trials and tribulations of life?  Thus, we end up on a carousel of more drugs, and the problem just grows bigger.

 

What I see so much now, and it disturbs me, is that when people get uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms, they want to go right back to the drugs to take away the uncomfortable symptoms.  But in a lot of cases, this can lead to our nervous systems becoming even more sensitized and even to kindling, which causes worse pain and suffering.   It ends up just prolonging the problem and making it worse.  The drug was what caused the problem in the first place.  I think perhaps the basic underlying problem a lot of us have, is to avoid and escape pain.  Perhaps we need to take a different approach to pain and discomfort.  Pain and discomfort has been with us since the beginning of time.   And unfortunately, avoiding pain and discomfort can work in the short run, but in the long run can cause much worse pain and misery and suffering.  So, I’m calling on all of us to try and toughen up, and put up with some pain and discomfort now, in order to avoid worse pain and discomfort in the future.

 

One caveat - there are cases when a temporary reinstatement is called for, because it can reduce severe withdrawal symptoms.  I’m not talking about that.

 

I’m calling for us to get away from this notion that we need a quick fix to make our problems go away.  For me personally, there was a good reason I was anxious and depressed.  I needed to deal with that directly. The pills only masked the pain - they did not cure the problem.  It was like taking a pain killer to deal with a cancer.  I needed to deal with the cancer directly by removing it, not by just killing the pain the cancer was causing. That is why we suggest non drug coping skills.  These help us deal with the pain of living in a non drug way, and get at the root of the problem instead of just taking away the pain.

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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I totally understand the desperation that drives us to try ANYTHING ANYTHING to stop the suffering. I have been there, I have done it, I may do it again, who knows. But I have really found that time and peace is what works best for healing, for me, and for the majority of people we meet here.

 

And I think it makes sense physiologically. These drugs are not in any way biological molecules. They aren't fixing our neurophysiology, they are disrupting it.  At some point, the disruptions, no matter how well intended, are just more perturbations of a system that is already spiraling out of control. More perturbation isn't going to fix the problem; the perturbations ARE the problem.

 

I just posted the following on a member's Intro thread but it's applicable to this, and I'm lazy so rather than rewrite it I will just put it right here:

 

 

"If you try to imagine this from your brain's point of view, it's a lot of changing and ups and downs in a pretty short period of time.  I think our nervous systems react to those kinds of changes by trying to adapt, by turning genes on and off to try to adjust various receptors and transmitters and what have you, in order to regain homeostasis. Since evolution never equipped us to cope with the chemical changes caused by these kinds of drugs (since they are new in human history) these adaptation processes really can't be very efficient and they are probably not fast. Definitely not "multiple switches and ups and downs in one year" kind of fast.

 

So it really doesn't seem that strange to me that after only 2 months after the most recent drug change--after a history starting 10 years ago, and the past year with multiple disruptions and large changes--you aren't feeling normal and hunky-dory yet. And I kind of doubt that any further changes at this point would do you any good. I think the changes are the problem.

 

My hunch is that your best bet at this point is to just hold still and stabilize and give your poor nervous system a break from further changes. It may overshoot up and down for a while in attempting to get back to a healthy state.  I think the best bet is to give your actual natural processes a chance to do their thing."

 

Not that it's easy. But I'm not sure there's a better choice, at least with the state of the science as it is today.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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  • 2 months later...
On 5/12/2021 at 11:15 AM, Yesyes123 said:

"My withdrawal symptoms are so bad, I tried X and it didn't work, so I changed it to Y and it made me even worse, so I am now doing Z hoping to get better by the end of the week!"

 

Every time I see someone say things along these lines, I truly feel bad for them.

 

This type of behavior is like playing ping-pong with your brain and Central Nervous System, as people sometimes say around here.

And I don't mean only with psychiatric drugs - that goes for supplements, sleep patterns, food, etc.

 

"Stability" - this post by the amazing @brassmonkeyis spot on, as everything else he puts out.

 

"For some people who are very sensitive to changes in dosage, it may take two or three months for people to stabilize after such an adjustment.  Some people will take even longer."

In this quote he's referring to stabilizing after dose changes in psychiatric drugs - but similar patterns can be seen in many other things, such as supplements.

I often see people taking fish oil or other supplement for 3 days and complaining that it "didn't work" or made them more anxious...

In such short period, there is really no way to see the effect of the substance on you (unless you have a clear, strong and definite adverse reaction immediately).

 

Your body likes stability.

That's the main idea here. If you keep jumping around with supplements, doses, diets, excercise routines, etc, you will very hardly find stability.

 

You need to find something that seems to work for you and stick with it for a while in order to truly benefit from it.

You will definitely have to do some experimenting in order to find what works for you - but that does not mean you are allowed to try every single thing in 1 week hoping to get better sooner. It will take some time... for some, shorter. For others, longer. But we all get there eventually.

 

I have personally only started to see benefits in fish oil after nearly 2 months of taking the same dose daily.

 

Something to think about!

 

I know this isn’t funny, but I couldn’t help but laugh about the jumping around as I change my mind so often!!! Is indecision part of anxiety or depression? I also have been diagnosed with adhd by some Psychiatrist I’ve been to. Maybe it’s thay. Either way, reading this was helpful and reinforcing that I need to stick to a regimen or I may suffer the consequences.

All the posts in this website are actually always bringing me back to focus on the plan I have, even if I need to reinstate. It reminds me thay slower is better when it comes to tapering.

2002-2021: 19 yrs on/off psychotropics

2/2022: Wellbutrin 150mg, Lexapro 20mg  3/22: Wellbutrin 150mg xl, Lexapro 10mg    4/22: Wellbutrin 150xl, Lexapro 5mg 

4/2022: Lexa 7.5mg total, Wellbutrin 150mg    5/2022: Wellb 112.5mg xl, Lexa 7.5mg (Stopped Clonazepam & Hydroxyzine- didn't take often)

6/2022: Welbutrin 111mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg          8/2022: Wellbutrin 100mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg            10/9/22: Wellbutrin 100 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg

11/3/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg       11/30/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6 mg

3/15/23: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.2 mg???

Other Daily Meds: Singulair 10mg, Zyrtec 10mg, Spiriva Respimat inhaler.  Rarely taking: OTC pain relievers, Diclofenac, Cyclobenzaprine, anti acids

SupplementsFish oil 1300mg, Nigella oil, Mag Glycinate 200mg, Probiotics 30 billion, 1/5 dose prenatals, Melatonin .38mg, (Reishi, Lion's Mane & psilocybin microdosing by cycles)

 

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On 4/19/2022 at 11:41 AM, DazzlingCold said:

I know this isn’t funny, but I couldn’t help but laugh about the jumping around as I change my mind so often!!! Is indecision part of anxiety or depression? I also have been diagnosed with adhd by some Psychiatrist I’ve been to. Maybe it’s thay. Either way, reading this was helpful and reinforcing that I need to stick to a regimen or I may suffer the consequences.

All the posts in this website are actually always bringing me back to focus on the plan I have, even if I need to reinstate. It reminds me thay slower is better when it comes to tapering.

 

Hello!

I personally fully believe ADHD to be just a meaningless name given to a set of symptoms that many people show, symptoms those which are not in fact pathological but certain aspects of their personality and natural human responses to the hazardous environment we all live in. Just like "bipolar" or "schizophrenic". Although these conditions are very real, they are definitely NOT caused by "chemical imbalances" in the brain, or any type of neurodevelopmental issue.

 

I believe this is a consensus around this community. In other words - forget the "ADHD" label, it's utterly meaningless.

 

Deep indecision is something that quite often comes around with the problems caused by psychiatric drugs. There are many ways to help indecision, but for me what works is focusing on the consequences. I will just make my mind and focus on dealing with the consequences. Also know that whatever option you choose in any given scenario will leave you wondering what the other one (or ones) would have been like.

 

All the best to you my friend

peace + healing

- Escitalopram 10mg from ages 15 - 21

- Severe crash after 4 month taper to 0

- Reinstated, stabilized, slowly tapering.

 

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Hellen Keller

I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 6/14/2021 at 2:16 PM, getofflex said:

 

What I see so much now, and it disturbs me, is that when people get uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms, they want to go right back to the drugs to take away the uncomfortable symptoms. 

Been thinking about this a lot lately. Enduring a lot of anxiety and not touching clonazepam (never took it consistently as a routine) has opened my eyes about how I reach out for things to not feel bad but it’s part of life. Some years ago, I started practicing letting myself feel everything as it arises. But the meaning of this has recently expanded. I can endure severe anxiety through rough days without the help of meds. Yeah, I could take clonazepam. I have a bunch that accumulated as I never took it as prescribed-2/day as needed. Always respected benzos. But, at what cost? As of today, letting myself endure severe anxiety, is making me feel more empowered. It’s still very uncomfortable, but I know it’s doable. Uncomfortable and inconvenient feelings are, after all, part of the human experience. I try to ask myself often how am I letting myself experience this life fully? Not in a romanticized way, but in a real way. In a way that I can expand to allow and hold what comes. 

2002-2021: 19 yrs on/off psychotropics

2/2022: Wellbutrin 150mg, Lexapro 20mg  3/22: Wellbutrin 150mg xl, Lexapro 10mg    4/22: Wellbutrin 150xl, Lexapro 5mg 

4/2022: Lexa 7.5mg total, Wellbutrin 150mg    5/2022: Wellb 112.5mg xl, Lexa 7.5mg (Stopped Clonazepam & Hydroxyzine- didn't take often)

6/2022: Welbutrin 111mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg          8/2022: Wellbutrin 100mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg            10/9/22: Wellbutrin 100 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg

11/3/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg       11/30/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6 mg

3/15/23: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.2 mg???

Other Daily Meds: Singulair 10mg, Zyrtec 10mg, Spiriva Respimat inhaler.  Rarely taking: OTC pain relievers, Diclofenac, Cyclobenzaprine, anti acids

SupplementsFish oil 1300mg, Nigella oil, Mag Glycinate 200mg, Probiotics 30 billion, 1/5 dose prenatals, Melatonin .38mg, (Reishi, Lion's Mane & psilocybin microdosing by cycles)

 

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This would be ideal but despondent and often suicidal people are desperate and can't sustain months to years of suffering.  I had to reinstate at higher doses because of the extremes of symptoms and avoid being forced poly drugged.  The lower doses did nothing and only upping over months gave partial relief.  I suspect after years on the drug it was easier for the brain to reestablish around years formed patterns rather than months.  Had I just sat where I was I don't even know if I'd be here. It was hard because I was told to stay put.  After a side effect induced sloppy taper of 100 over 10 months and steep jump off I'm about 60 percent better.   Now I have to sit and wait to stabilize further before trying again which could be months.  It's hard to know what to do.  I was so bad 60 percent improvement just moved me from atrocious to awful but now I sleep regained cognition depersonalization is gone and most physical symptom improved or  went away.  I know some people who just did more psych drugs until they foud a combo which worked and who's to judge.  I am going for the slow and steady taper once I establish my withdrawal normal.  

 

Recent 2018 Zoloft 150mg  (20 years taking at various times, no real issues before stopping)

2019 Risperdal one month low dose (forget amount) stopped bad reaction

2019 Remeron 7.5 mg sleep  (discontinued in mid 2019) on for six months (tapered for a few weeks)

Zoloft 100 mg Summer 2020/Zoloft 75 mg Summer 2021

Zoloft 50 mg November 2021/ Zoloft 25 mg First two weeks January 2022: Reinstated 50 mgJanuary Last week)

Crash in February - on and off doses as doctors conflicted over serotonin syndrome/withdrawal - stopped all for two week & resumed:\

Other drugs tried in hospitals (Abilify, 1mg, 1 dose, Zyprexa 1 dose 1mg, Klonopin .25 4 doses in 2 hospitalizations)

March 1 titrated Zoloft up from 0 to 65 from February to Early May

Severe vision problems at 65 mg (improved depression)

Taper to 55 6/15, 45mg 7/15/ 35mg 8/1, 25mg 8/15, 10 mg, 8/31 OFF 9/2022 Omg  Improved with drops from August to September - November crash ONE dose Zoloft 3mg 11/17 - worsened symptoms - Remain off Zoloft

Mirtazapine -3.5 mg six weeks mid march to end april, occasionally for sleep

Supplements: Fish oil, magnesium, lions mane, cytokine suppress, MCT Oil

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20 minutes ago, Roserdl said:

This would be ideal but despondent and often suicidal people are desperate and can't sustain months to years of suffering.  I had to reinstate at higher doses because of the extremes of symptoms and avoid being forced poly drugged.  The lower doses did nothing and only upping over months gave partial relief.  I suspect after years on the drug it was easier for the brain to reestablish around years formed patterns rather than months.  Had I just sat where I was I don't even know if I'd be here. It was hard because I was told to stay put.  After a side effect induced sloppy taper of 100 over 10 months and steep jump off I'm about 60 percent better.   Now I have to sit and wait to stabilize further before trying again which could be months.  It's hard to know what to do.  I was so bad 60 percent improvement just moved me from atrocious to awful but now I sleep regained cognition depersonalization is gone and most physical symptom improved or  went away.  I know some people who just did more psych drugs until they foud a combo which worked and who's to judge.  I am going for the slow and steady taper once I establish my withdrawal normal.  

 

I agree. I don’t think I’d be saying that on my bad days. Those days are about surviving however possible for me. I hope you get to a “normal” withdrawal soon. It’s not easy. Take care

2002-2021: 19 yrs on/off psychotropics

2/2022: Wellbutrin 150mg, Lexapro 20mg  3/22: Wellbutrin 150mg xl, Lexapro 10mg    4/22: Wellbutrin 150xl, Lexapro 5mg 

4/2022: Lexa 7.5mg total, Wellbutrin 150mg    5/2022: Wellb 112.5mg xl, Lexa 7.5mg (Stopped Clonazepam & Hydroxyzine- didn't take often)

6/2022: Welbutrin 111mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg          8/2022: Wellbutrin 100mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg            10/9/22: Wellbutrin 100 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg

11/3/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg       11/30/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6 mg

3/15/23: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.2 mg???

Other Daily Meds: Singulair 10mg, Zyrtec 10mg, Spiriva Respimat inhaler.  Rarely taking: OTC pain relievers, Diclofenac, Cyclobenzaprine, anti acids

SupplementsFish oil 1300mg, Nigella oil, Mag Glycinate 200mg, Probiotics 30 billion, 1/5 dose prenatals, Melatonin .38mg, (Reishi, Lion's Mane & psilocybin microdosing by cycles)

 

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5 hours ago, Roserdl said:

I was so bad 60 percent improvement just moved me from atrocious to awful but now I sleep regained cognition depersonalization is gone and most physical symptom improved or  went away.

I hear you Roserdi.  "Tough it out" sounds awfully judgmental. (above....June 14, 2021)  I think we have to be careful not to judge those who aren't successful, by whatever parameters you judge success, as not being tough enough.  Our situations are all different.  I sure get it when you say 60% improvement means going from atrocious to awful...and that's on a good day for me.   I am toughing it out every day I am alive.  Please don't judge me; I am doing the best I can and not taking the easy route, no matter how it looks on the surface.  Someone (I think Gia) wrote to do everything possible to stay out of the hospital.  That is what I am doing. One of the dangers of being an active part of SA is comparing one's progress to everyone else's.  If I know i am absolutely doing my best, then hearing I need to be tougher just makes it worse.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-present tapered trileptal aggressively for a year; now intermittently; interacts w/ other drugs
  • currently 2024 still on 96 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •  Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.  
  • Current dose of diazepam is 8.8 and valium is 5.7.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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On 5/25/2022 at 6:18 PM, savinggrace said:

I hear you Roserdi.  "Tough it out" sounds awfully judgmental. (above....June 14, 2021)  I think we have to be careful not to judge those who aren't successful, by whatever parameters you judge success, as not being tough enough.  Our situations are all different.  I sure get it when you say 60% improvement means going from atrocious to awful...and that's on a good day for me.   I am toughing it out every day I am alive.  Please don't judge me; I am doing the best I can and not taking the easy route, no matter how it looks on the surface.  Someone (I think Gia) wrote to do everything possible to stay out of the hospital.  That is what I am doing. One of the dangers of being an active part of SA is comparing one's progress to everyone else's.  If I know i am absolutely doing my best, then hearing I need to be tougher just makes it worse.

 

Grace

@savinggrace I hear you. This is a judge free zone (with me anyways). I am, thankfully going through a good patch. That does not mean the struggle gets very real during hard times. Our tough times are valid, as much as the good ones. I truly believe We are all doing the best we can at any given moment considering out very particular and personal circumstances. You all are doing great.  @savinggraceyouve managed to provide support even on your bad days. That’s an achievement in itself for all of us going through a touch time. So, I also agree… babysteps and no judgement. Praying for all of us in my own way. 

2002-2021: 19 yrs on/off psychotropics

2/2022: Wellbutrin 150mg, Lexapro 20mg  3/22: Wellbutrin 150mg xl, Lexapro 10mg    4/22: Wellbutrin 150xl, Lexapro 5mg 

4/2022: Lexa 7.5mg total, Wellbutrin 150mg    5/2022: Wellb 112.5mg xl, Lexa 7.5mg (Stopped Clonazepam & Hydroxyzine- didn't take often)

6/2022: Welbutrin 111mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg          8/2022: Wellbutrin 100mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg            10/9/22: Wellbutrin 100 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg

11/3/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg       11/30/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6 mg

3/15/23: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.2 mg???

Other Daily Meds: Singulair 10mg, Zyrtec 10mg, Spiriva Respimat inhaler.  Rarely taking: OTC pain relievers, Diclofenac, Cyclobenzaprine, anti acids

SupplementsFish oil 1300mg, Nigella oil, Mag Glycinate 200mg, Probiotics 30 billion, 1/5 dose prenatals, Melatonin .38mg, (Reishi, Lion's Mane & psilocybin microdosing by cycles)

 

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On 5/25/2022 at 1:14 PM, DazzlingCold said:

I agree. I don’t think I’d be saying that on my bad days. Those days are about surviving however possible for me. I hope you get to a “normal” withdrawal soon. It’s not easy. Take care

By the way, I wasn’t trying to imply what others should do or that pushing through is what needs to be done. I was only sharing something I learned and sharing that I was proud for not reaching for clonazepam as easily as I used to as I am working on keeping my promises to myself. A practice I have added to my life is that of enduring feelings as I found out how much I resist, making things worse. That is a practice I chose for myself and felt like this challenge allowed me to see it is possible for MYSELF. It was my goal, not something to impose on others. I attempted to be supportive, not judgemental at all. I also did not think I was invalidating anyones experience so please take this as validation of your tough times. No one experiences one event the same. However, I can relate to WD as I’ve lived it plenty of times. Even if our experience are different, I empathize. All of our experiences are subjective and always valid, if you ask me.

2002-2021: 19 yrs on/off psychotropics

2/2022: Wellbutrin 150mg, Lexapro 20mg  3/22: Wellbutrin 150mg xl, Lexapro 10mg    4/22: Wellbutrin 150xl, Lexapro 5mg 

4/2022: Lexa 7.5mg total, Wellbutrin 150mg    5/2022: Wellb 112.5mg xl, Lexa 7.5mg (Stopped Clonazepam & Hydroxyzine- didn't take often)

6/2022: Welbutrin 111mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg          8/2022: Wellbutrin 100mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg            10/9/22: Wellbutrin 100 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg

11/3/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg       11/30/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6 mg

3/15/23: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.2 mg???

Other Daily Meds: Singulair 10mg, Zyrtec 10mg, Spiriva Respimat inhaler.  Rarely taking: OTC pain relievers, Diclofenac, Cyclobenzaprine, anti acids

SupplementsFish oil 1300mg, Nigella oil, Mag Glycinate 200mg, Probiotics 30 billion, 1/5 dose prenatals, Melatonin .38mg, (Reishi, Lion's Mane & psilocybin microdosing by cycles)

 

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Thanks DC! I am glad to hear things are a little better for you right now. We need the windows to endure the waves.  I always hope my thoughts/ideas/ opinions are deemed as worthwhile even though I am just too sick to taper much at all. 
 

I hope the window stays open!

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-present tapered trileptal aggressively for a year; now intermittently; interacts w/ other drugs
  • currently 2024 still on 96 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •  Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.  
  • Current dose of diazepam is 8.8 and valium is 5.7.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm learning as I read more about all this. I feel I messed up my taper to start with and now it's rough.

- Late 2011/Early 2012? - Started celexa 10mg.

- Sometime in 2012? - Due to doctors advice, jumped to 20mg. Not sure when but doctor suggested 40mg. Tried it for a bit, did not like it, felt flat and had low libido so doctor told me to go down to 30mg.

- Started skipping 1 day or 2 days sometimes due to forgetting and hated being on drugs, felt it was a hassle. It became routine to skip one day and only take it when I felt withdrawal symptoms kick in like dizziness. Always took one 20mg pill and broke the second pill in half.

- May 17 2022, finally talked to my doctor about tapering. Suggested I take 10 mg everyday. Tried taking only 10mg, started getting dizzy, took another half tablet, got horrible anxiety that night. Got scared, had to stop and reinstate back to 30mg that night.

- May 18 2022 discovered and joined survivingantidepressants.org (woozy head and impaired balance lasted 1 week)

- May 19 2022, began trying a reduction, (still skipping a day). Though had no scale so was inaccurately cutting my pills. No idea what dose I was taking, 25-27mg?

- May 25 2022, bought a mg scale and started to better measure my dose. Tried 10% reduction, 27mg. (still skipping a day)

- Ending of May was when I started having horrible anxiety

- June 1 2022, finally started 13.5mg dose 8:15am, and began taking my dose everyday now

- went to 13.7mg after a few weeks and still on it currently. Still taking my dose everyday. went up to 14 on 11/6

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/25/2022 at 7:18 PM, savinggrace said:

I hear you Roserdi.  "Tough it out" sounds awfully judgmental. (above....June 14, 2021)  I think we have to be careful not to judge those who aren't successful, by whatever parameters you judge success, as not being tough enough.  Our situations are all different.  I sure get it when you say 60% improvement means going from atrocious to awful...and that's on a good day for me.   I am toughing it out every day I am alive.  Please don't judge me; I am doing the best I can and not taking the easy route, no matter how it looks on the surface.  Someone (I think Gia) wrote to do everything possible to stay out of the hospital.  That is what I am doing. One of the dangers of being an active part of SA is comparing one's progress to everyone else's.  If I know i am absolutely doing my best, then hearing I need to be tougher just makes it worse.

 

Grace

I was hospitalized twice in the first two months and literally had to bite towels to stop crying out and being forced medicated.  I took cold showers instead of benzos.  My depression has been severe and my sister threatened forced ect because I was so hopeless.  She also told me to take the benzos and add an antipsychotic.  She is finally getting I'm in withdrawal so she's backed off but basically withdrawn support because she still believes I need a 'whisper' of abilify or ect.   I would love a quick solution as much as everyone else but I need to get off this med and let my mind heal. 

 

So I know about avoiding hospitals and dealing with family and relate to your post well.  Hang in there, you are doing great!

Recent 2018 Zoloft 150mg  (20 years taking at various times, no real issues before stopping)

2019 Risperdal one month low dose (forget amount) stopped bad reaction

2019 Remeron 7.5 mg sleep  (discontinued in mid 2019) on for six months (tapered for a few weeks)

Zoloft 100 mg Summer 2020/Zoloft 75 mg Summer 2021

Zoloft 50 mg November 2021/ Zoloft 25 mg First two weeks January 2022: Reinstated 50 mgJanuary Last week)

Crash in February - on and off doses as doctors conflicted over serotonin syndrome/withdrawal - stopped all for two week & resumed:\

Other drugs tried in hospitals (Abilify, 1mg, 1 dose, Zyprexa 1 dose 1mg, Klonopin .25 4 doses in 2 hospitalizations)

March 1 titrated Zoloft up from 0 to 65 from February to Early May

Severe vision problems at 65 mg (improved depression)

Taper to 55 6/15, 45mg 7/15/ 35mg 8/1, 25mg 8/15, 10 mg, 8/31 OFF 9/2022 Omg  Improved with drops from August to September - November crash ONE dose Zoloft 3mg 11/17 - worsened symptoms - Remain off Zoloft

Mirtazapine -3.5 mg six weeks mid march to end april, occasionally for sleep

Supplements: Fish oil, magnesium, lions mane, cytokine suppress, MCT Oil

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that's fine dc. 

On 5/27/2022 at 2:04 PM, DazzlingCold said:

By the way, I wasn’t trying to imply what others should do or that pushing through is what needs to be done. I was only sharing something I learned and sharing that I was proud for not reaching for clonazepam as easily as I used to as I am working on keeping my promises to myself. A practice I have added to my life is that of enduring feelings as I found out how much I resist, making things worse. That is a practice I chose for myself and felt like this challenge allowed me to see it is possible for MYSELF. It was my goal, not something to impose on others. I attempted to be supportive, not judgemental at all. I also did not think I was invalidating anyones experience so please take this as validation of your tough times. No one experiences one event the same. However, I can relate to WD as I’ve lived it plenty of times. Even if our experience are different, I empathize. All of our experiences are subjective and always valid, if you ask me.

 

It is best to tough it out when possible and there is nothing wrong with your comment.  Many never even try to come off meds and just keep adding drugs which don't work or often work until they don't.  My accomplishment is staying off other meds despite extreme pressure from family, stopping remeron for sleep and doing a small microtaper. I just wanted to stop again but I won't so the small dose reduction was the best I could do to placate myself.  You are doing great#

Recent 2018 Zoloft 150mg  (20 years taking at various times, no real issues before stopping)

2019 Risperdal one month low dose (forget amount) stopped bad reaction

2019 Remeron 7.5 mg sleep  (discontinued in mid 2019) on for six months (tapered for a few weeks)

Zoloft 100 mg Summer 2020/Zoloft 75 mg Summer 2021

Zoloft 50 mg November 2021/ Zoloft 25 mg First two weeks January 2022: Reinstated 50 mgJanuary Last week)

Crash in February - on and off doses as doctors conflicted over serotonin syndrome/withdrawal - stopped all for two week & resumed:\

Other drugs tried in hospitals (Abilify, 1mg, 1 dose, Zyprexa 1 dose 1mg, Klonopin .25 4 doses in 2 hospitalizations)

March 1 titrated Zoloft up from 0 to 65 from February to Early May

Severe vision problems at 65 mg (improved depression)

Taper to 55 6/15, 45mg 7/15/ 35mg 8/1, 25mg 8/15, 10 mg, 8/31 OFF 9/2022 Omg  Improved with drops from August to September - November crash ONE dose Zoloft 3mg 11/17 - worsened symptoms - Remain off Zoloft

Mirtazapine -3.5 mg six weeks mid march to end april, occasionally for sleep

Supplements: Fish oil, magnesium, lions mane, cytokine suppress, MCT Oil

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12 minutes ago, Roserdl said:

that's fine dc. I am hoh

 

It is best to tough it out when possible and there is nothing wrong with your comment.  Many never even try to come off meds and just keep adding drugs which don't work or often work until they don't.  My accomplishment is staying off other meds despite extreme pressure from family, stopping remeron for sleep and doing a small microtaper. I just wanted to stop again but I won't so the small dose reduction was the best I could do to placate myself.  You are doing great#

I appreciate your support!

2002-2021: 19 yrs on/off psychotropics

2/2022: Wellbutrin 150mg, Lexapro 20mg  3/22: Wellbutrin 150mg xl, Lexapro 10mg    4/22: Wellbutrin 150xl, Lexapro 5mg 

4/2022: Lexa 7.5mg total, Wellbutrin 150mg    5/2022: Wellb 112.5mg xl, Lexa 7.5mg (Stopped Clonazepam & Hydroxyzine- didn't take often)

6/2022: Welbutrin 111mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg          8/2022: Wellbutrin 100mg xl, Lexa 6.8mg            10/9/22: Wellbutrin 100 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg

11/3/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.5 mg       11/30/22: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6 mg

3/15/23: Wellbutrin 96 mg IR, Lexa 6.2 mg???

Other Daily Meds: Singulair 10mg, Zyrtec 10mg, Spiriva Respimat inhaler.  Rarely taking: OTC pain relievers, Diclofenac, Cyclobenzaprine, anti acids

SupplementsFish oil 1300mg, Nigella oil, Mag Glycinate 200mg, Probiotics 30 billion, 1/5 dose prenatals, Melatonin .38mg, (Reishi, Lion's Mane & psilocybin microdosing by cycles)

 

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  • 6 months later...

There is so much grief and responsibility and regret that cloud my judgment in this process. 
 

I feel like every decision I make will be wrong. Thus, I keep making changes in crisis. 
 

when faced with adverse reactions, pain, disability and unimaginable horror it is difficult to remember that no change is going to bring about relief. It not difficult to remember, perhaps, but a refusal. We tell ourselves x went wrong so do y to try and exert control over our bodies, hoping, believing the mess can be corrected. But it’s not about winning the battle it’s about winning the war. I guess we must face the adversity, pain, terror and grimace through it as we slowly and carefully start to win the war. 
 

this is an important reminder that needs to be said. It hurts to hear. It’s frightening. But the sooner we stop holding on to the idea we can control symptoms, maybe the sooner we will start to recover. 

Aug 2020 - Feb 2022 on and off Lexapro 5 and 10mg,  Rapid taper

Nov 2021 - May 2022 on off Wellbutrin 100mg, 150mg, 75mg CT clindamycin cycle and also Plan B bc 1x 

Fall 2020- June 2022 - Xanax .5 PRN usually 4x a week, CT 

June 2022 - Z pack, Buspar 7.5 3 days

September 20-24th - low tryptophan diet and 20-30g beef gelatin powder

Oct 3- 16 - Xanax .5 for sleep each pm, 1 mg Ativan in ER, .25 Xanax —> .125–>0 

Oct 14-17Trazadone 50/75, Lunesta 3mg 

Oct 24-  start Belsomra, 4 days to20mg 

Nov 3-5 10mg Belsomra and 300mg Gabapentin 

Oct 13-Dec 1 Buspar 7.5 2x/day rapid taper over 2 weeks due to ADR 

Recent: Belsomra 20mg since 10/23/2022 to 15mg mid December for 2 nights —> 20mg —> 15 mg since 12/22/2022 —>14 mg compounded 02/11/2023 —> 15 mg 2/13 —> 10mg 2/22 —> 5mg 3/1 —> 0mg 3/8/2023 

Current:  Propanolol 20mg AM, 10mg 4pm, 20mg PM since 11/30/2022

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  • Mentor
2 hours ago, ElaineBenes5 said:

There is so much grief and responsibility and regret that cloud my judgment in this process. 
 

 

This 💔

Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢

Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg,  9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg  7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total
🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many.

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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  • 10 months later...
On 5/19/2021 at 6:06 AM, Yesyes123 said:

 

Stability is always what we aim for, but if you have reached poop-out it means the drug isn't working anymore so I don't see why you'd stay on it on the long term. The only option in my opinion is to slowly and safely taper it off

Hi @Yesyes123 I know this is an old post, but how do you know if the drug has pooped out and you need to taper? Many Thanks

 

None of my posts are medical advice, just my own experience. Please see your Doctor for any medical advice.

Venlafaxine can't remember exact dose,normal starting dose(Around 2014/15-2017)
Citalopram 10mg (2018-Present - Attempted to stop taking in Aug 22, but got WD - Thought it was 'relapse') 5 months 22 from Sep to Jan Venlafaxine)

Back to 10mg Citalopram -as thought would be easier to stop than Venlaxine
Fast Taper off Citalopram (didn't know about WD) late June to Mid July 23. CT'd until late Sep 23, Stupidly took 3 Days 10mg fluoxetine on Dr advice, intended to taper as soon a stable. Dr said Fluox easier to taper( akathasia reaction) Stopped fluox about 26/9/23. 29/9/23.Reinstated at 2.5mg Citalopram. Holding until stable to taper off. 14/11/23 Reduced to 2.375mg because felt akathasia. Holding until stable.

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