woosterthunkit: Happy person who just wants her life back :)

[woosterthunkit]

Hi everyone! 

 

Hope you guys are keeping your chins up  

 

I finally took the time off work last July to diagnose and treat my PMDD. I'd have MDD since 18, diagnosed and on cymbalta at 27 and was working well on it until my PMDD developed. I remember cymbalta fixing me within 2 hours, and I cried because it had filled this struggle inside me that had hurt me for so long.

 

My PMDD symptoms developed and for a few years I honestly couldn't tell (neither could my...admittedly male GPs) whether my immune system sucked, low iron, or was just one of those people who was sick all the time. In my defense, I was also on birth control so I didn't have a period, so it wasn't until a female GP said, are you seriously telling me you get the same illness every month at the same time? It's 100% your cycle. 

 

So I was referred to the Women's Health Clinic, which had a wait list. All good, I live for my career and my friends and family, I had plenty to be busy about while I waited. 

 

Last July, I went to a male psychiatrist who lived near my place (cos PMDD makes me too weak to go far) to see what we could do about these likely related issues. I went from Cymbalta to Prozac, and toughed out 7 weeks before I told my psychiatrist I had to go off it, I was suffering too much and I wasn't improving and life was literally better on Cymbalta. At least on that I could work all the other times, and was only sick during my PMDD lows. This, I slept basically 14 hours a day every day and I barely left the house. I was so overwhelmed with sleep I would lie down on the floor of my living room or hallway. 

 

It's been 11 months. I haven't worked and I only leave the house sometimes. Luckily I got recommended this site by a redditor who saw my post (probably incorrectly) lambasting Prozac. I was shocked to the exact same language I'd used to describe my symptoms "1 step forward, 3 steps back" for eg, to be used in multiple other posts. The windows and waves analogy was exactly the same, the description of troughs were the same, the comforting words someone said "one day your window will be your last and it will be reality again" were exactly my instincts about this debacle. That it could take up to a year to recover (this part I can't testify because I haven't recovered yet) I fundamentally feel that I keep improving and getting worse but my body deep down knows how to recover and has been struggling to do so this whole time. I knew something had gone wrong, and it had been trying to right itself ever since. 

 

I'm shocked to see the information here and I'm somewhat relieved because my primary psychiatrist has felt guilty over my symptoms, which is one thing, but on top of that it has made him defensive. It is hard recovering from this, all the while describing your symptoms to someone with 20 years experience who keeps telling you they can't figure out what is wrong. I know dude, I know.

 

Between my windows and waves, I managed to file for disability insurance (I owe that person a box of chocolates cos I was utterly useless at getting back to her), and my insurance came through fast and without argument. My workplace didn't fire me, and tried to help with my rehab. I posted memes on my work page because I missed my job, my colleagues, friends, and doing the things I enjoyed. I was a creative person and I went to work to connect and create every day, and I missed the hell out of it. The last 3 weeks have been unusual in that I don't feel I've taken any steps backwards or forwards. It feels like a plateau. 

 

Now I've been prescribed mood stabilizers and I'm waiting for a script. I finally feel strong enough as well to take another chance on throwing my system into a loop, cos my previous experience with mood stabilizers was negative too. I never want to see my psychiatrist again after this is over. I will consult him about SSRI withdrawal but it does stress me out that after seeing him every month for a year, including emails and phone calls, that he has continued to wring his hands and say he can't figure what is wrong.  

 

Keen to keep reading this site and if my situation really is SSRI withdrawal. I really wish that the mood stabilizer does fix me but if not, I will continue to keep recovering myself. 

 

Have a hopefully nice day xx

 

 

Edited June 6, 2021 by Gridley

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, woosterthunkit.

 

To start:

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

We are a site for going off psychiatric drugs and helping members cope with withdrawal.  Sometimes this means tapering slowly all the way off the drug(s) and sometimes it means reducing your drug burden to a lower dose, whatever works for you.  It has been our experience that the vast majority of doctors, whether psychiatrists or G.P.'s, know nothing about withdrawal or safe tapering.  That's the reason your doctor can't figure out what is wrong.  That's the reason this site exists.  We don't recommend adding new drugs to deal with withdrawal from previous drugs.  That's puts you on what we call the drug merry-go-round, as doctors throw drug after drug at you, hoping that somehow something will work.  We don't recommend taking a new drug to try to deal with withdrawal from a previous drug.  Withdrawal is the elephant in the room that doctors don't know exists, resulting in misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis.

 

I'm going to give you some links that will give you a good idea of the recommendations from this site.  Please take your time going through them.  It's a lot of information.

 

When a person wants to go off a psychiatric drug, we recommend tapering no faster than 10% of your current dose every four weeks.  This schedule is much slower than doctors generally recommend, but we have found it is safe and effective.  We take a harm-reduction approach, which translates to "better safe than sorry."

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

You mentioned withdrawal.  Here is some information on psychiatric drug withdrawal and the healing process.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

These explain the healing process really well.

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems. Get supplements that are single ingredient (not mixed with other types of supplements).

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can complete your drug signature, ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 6, 2021 by Gridley