Michael102488 New member looking for advice

[Michael102488]

Hi, so I went 30 years of my life not being on any psychiatric meds. and have taken more pills in the past year then I have in my entire life. I started getting some pretty bad health anxiety last year, mixed with covid lockdown and alcohol use. Was prescribed my first psych med June 2020 I now am basically confined to my moms apartment lost my job, social life. I have agoraphobia and severe physical symptoms (mainly muscle tension, gi issues) every day that trigger panic attacks bordering on akathisia, cant sleep without being knocked out. Really lost on what to do and a benzo is involved heavily as well to complicate matters. I have seen probably 30 specialists. I guess I should give a timeline of this year of psych torture

 

started with Lexapro- june 2020 2 days later prescribed ativan after severe panic attack from marijuana. ativan was switched to klonopin pretty quickly as the prescriber said this was "less addictive. 

July 2020- switched to cymbalta up to 60 mg after about of month of lexapro giving me awful headaches , ended up in psych ward from what I realize now was suicidal ideation probably caused by meds. Tried to cold turkey both meds when I left because I was unaware of withdrawal. as you can image I had to reinstate Ativan after 2 days. 

Aug 2020- briefly tried prozac ineffective, Ativan use started to increase rapidly

Sept 2020- Tried to go to a treatment center. was given prozac, propanolol, keppra and seroquel, hydroxyzine. detoxed off Ativan 3 mg in 3 Days.  As you can imagine I lost my mind when they kept increasing the seroquel dose and was ripped off ativan in 3 days. Left after day6. After this I was prescribed remeron for sleep and to try to help me reduce benzo dose. I took remeron for about 4 months, it worked great at first and was helping me decrease the ativan use. but this backfired when the prescriber kept increasing the dose. went up to 45 mg briefly and then tried to taper myself off. Just discontinued in feb 2021 as symptoms were intolerable after a neurosurgery I had. 

March 2021 tried to cold turkey benzo again for just a night. Only this time when I tried to reinstate the drug stopped working. Have been working with doctors since to try and help but nothing is helping. I tried doxepin briefly (horrible reaction) tried to go back to remeron for a week or 2 for sleep at a small dose because it worked in the past. Tried trazadone did not help, also tried baclofen recently.  At this point I am just working with a doctor on a benzo taper but it is obviously a mess as the drug is no longer working and my brain has been treated like a science experiment the past year with psych meds. I don't know if I need to reinstate an anti depressant at this point or if this would just complicate matters. Should I  just be focusing on trying to get off the benzo. I am basically non functional at this point so I'm even thinking about going to detox again where they'll use phenobarbital and libriium, but I may end up going psychotic in that environment again. Or some kind of inpatient facility I have no idea if I'll be able to stabilize at this point or if my nervous system is just shot. 

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Michael102488

 

It sounds like you had fairly immediate severe adverse reactions to Lexapro (marijuana being coincidental) and maybe Cymbalta, then perhaps Ativan withdrawal.

 

On 8/13/2021 at 8:49 PM, Michael102488 said:

Just discontinued in feb 2021 as symptoms were intolerable after a neurosurgery I had. 

 

What was this neurosurgery? Did you have anesthesia? Were you prescribed antibiotics or other drugs for it?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Michael102488]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @Michael102488

 

It sounds like you had fairly immediate severe adverse reactions to Lexapro (marijuana being coincidental) and maybe Cymbalta, then perhaps Ativan withdrawal.

 

 

What was this neurosurgery? Did you have anesthesia? Were you prescribed antibiotics or other drugs for it?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

Thanks for the reply. I had surgery to remove tarlov cysts in my sacrum in February, yes, there was anesthesia. I think I was given maybe a day of an antibiotic in the hospital, along with some anti inflammatory meds, and pain killers. I was sent home after 2 days with a prescription for flexeril, oxycodone (did not use) and tylenol, was also given a valium prescription as well along with the ativan prescription I already had because flexeril was not helping with muscle spasms. I basically have not stabilized since I attempted to stop taking ativan for a night in late feb early march. Doctor even tried updosing with valium. Valium at larger doses gave me some bad side effects. I do not know if my lack of a taper of remeron is contributing as well. I was really unaware that remeron withdrawal was even a thing until I saw the support groups on facebook because the benzo had always kind of stabilized me in the past.

[Altostrata]

Your current symptoms may be destabilization from the drugs you went off in February 2021 after prior drug mishaps in September 2020.

 

What is your current daily drug schedule, times o'clock and dosages?

 

Please add your drug history in your signature. Thanks.

[Michael102488]

34 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

 

What is your current daily drug schedule, times o'clock and dosages?

 

 

Ativan- .5 mg 9 am 1 pm 5 pm 9 pm     1.5 mg 11 pm 

melatonin 6 mg 11 pm

this is the other issue my previous psychiatrist wanted me to not take ativan during the day if I could, so I was taking 2- 2.5 mg between like 9 pm- midnight and nothing during the day up until about Feb

recently also tried a trial of baclofen 5 mg 3x a day with this but did not help.

having sleep issues, took 50 mg zzzquil last night and 25 mg hydroxyzine just to fall asleep. I know this is a mess, my sleep is destroyed

[Altostrata]

You are taking a lot of Ativan every day. It is possible you are taking too much, and the paradoxical effects are interfering with your sleep. @Shep and @Frogie will confer on how to space out and reduce the daily Ativan.

[Frogie]

@Michael102488

 

I just want to get your lorazepam schedule straight before moving forward.

 

You are taking .5 mg at 9 am, 1 pm, 5 pm, 9 pm. Then 1.5 mg at 11 pm. Is that correct?

 
You are also taking 6 mg melatonin? Is that being taken the same time as the 1.5 mg lorazepam? I think you are definitely taking too much melatonin and you shouldn’t take it at the same time as the lorazepam. It is suggested to only take .3 mg melatonin as it can do the opposite if taken in large quantities.

 

If you can please answer these questions, we can set up a schedule to take your lorazepam at equal amounts and times during the day. 
 

I know it’s frustrating. For 22 years, I took 3-4 mg of Alprazolam a day.

 

Thank you for answering my questions.

[Michael102488]

16 minutes ago, Frogie said:

@Michael102488

 

I just want to get your lorazepam schedule straight before moving forward.

 

You are taking .5 mg at 9 am, 1 pm, 5 pm, 9 pm. Then 1.5 mg at 11 pm. Is that correct?

 
You are also taking 6 mg melatonin? Is that being taken the same time as the 1.5 mg lorazepam? I think you are definitely taking too much melatonin and you shouldn’t take it at the same time as the lorazepam. It is suggested to only take .3 mg melatonin as it can do the opposite if taken in large quantities.

 

If you can please answer these questions, we can set up a schedule to take your lorazepam at equal amounts and times during the day. 
 

I know it’s frustrating. For 22 years, I took 3-4 mg of Alprazolam a day.

 

Thank you for answering my questions.

The is correct on the lorazepam schedule. Yea I am taking it at the same time as lorazepam I have been doing this the whole time, I did not know this I was taking 10 mg sleeping pills of melatonin at one point. I just want to verify you said .3 mg melatonin not 3 mg. I was also up until a few months ago taking 2-2.5 mg of lorazepam between like 9 pm - midnight with remeron and melatonin and nothing during the day (bad advice from my psychiatrist clearly). So I don't know if I will even sleep since my body was so used to this large dosing at night of all these drugs. I still do have a remeron prescription. I have been waking up in the middle of the night every night. Just to try and give you some more background

[Michael102488]

18 hours ago, Michael102488 said:

Ativan- .5 mg 9 am 1 pm 5 pm 9 pm     1.5 mg 11 pm 

melatonin 6 mg 11 pm

this is the other issue my previous psychiatrist wanted me to not take ativan during the day if I could, so I was taking 2- 2.5 mg between like 9 pm- midnight and nothing during the day up until about Feb

recently also tried a trial of baclofen 5 mg 3x a day with this but did not help.

having sleep issues, took 50 mg zzzquil last night and 25 mg hydroxyzine just to fall asleep. I know this is a mess, my sleep is destroyed

@Frogie

[Michael102488]

4 minutes ago, Michael102488 said:

The is correct on the lorazepam schedule. Yea I am taking it at the same time as lorazepam I have been doing this the whole time, I did not know this I was taking 10 mg sleeping pills of melatonin at one point. I just want to verify you said .3 mg melatonin not 3 mg. I was also up until a few months ago taking 2-2.5 mg of lorazepam between like 9 pm - midnight with remeron and melatonin and nothing during the day (bad advice from my psychiatrist clearly). So I don't know if I will even sleep since my body was so used to this large dosing at night of all these drugs. I still do have a remeron prescription. I have been waking up in the middle of the night every night. Just to try and give you some more background

sorry new here i meant to tag you in this one @Frogie

[Frogie]

@Michael102488
 

Hi:

 

It’s confusing to tag someone, so I completely understand. It took me a while to do it also.
 

Yes, I did mean 0.3 mg melatonin. It can do just the opposite if you take too high of a dose. I did find that if I took it an hour or two before bed, it did help. Unfortunately, I had to stop taking it as it gave me horrible headaches.

 

When you take too much lorazepam it can do the same thing. Like Altostrata mentioned it can become paradoxical and cause more problems than helping you.

 

Would you be willing to try a different schedule on the lorazepam? I would say since you are taking 2.5 mg a day to split into equal amounts and take it 5 times a day. So you would take .5 mg at 9 am, 12 pm, 3 pm, 6 pm, and your last dose at 9 pm. This will keep a steady amount in your system instead of bombarding it at night. Then take the melatonin an hour or two before bed. You just need to get a consistent dose of lorazepam in your system.
 

Also, shutting off your computer, tv, anything that can be stimulating or produce blue light an hour or two before bed. Read a good book, and a white noise machine, a sleep mask and ear plugs also helps. Keeping your room very dark is helpful.
 

Please let me know what you think. I’m also going to tag @Shepwith this also. She is a genius with this!

[Michael102488]

3 minutes ago, Frogie said:

@Michael102488
 

Hi:

 

It’s confusing to tag someone, so I completely understand. It took me a while to do it also.
 

Yes, I did mean 0.3 mg melatonin. It can do just the opposite if you take too high of a dose. I did find that if I took it an hour or two before bed, it did help. Unfortunately, I had to stop taking it as it gave me horrible headaches.

 

When you take too much lorazepam it can do the same thing. Like Altostrata mentioned it can become paradoxical and cause more problems than helping you.

 

Would you be willing to try a different schedule on the lorazepam? I would say since you are taking 2.5 mg a day to split into equal amounts and take it 5 times a day. So you would take .5 mg at 9 am, 12 pm, 3 pm, 6 pm, and your last dose at 9 pm. This will keep a steady amount in your system instead of bombarding it at night. Then take the melatonin an hour or two before bed. You just need to get a consistent dose of lorazepam in your system.
 

Also, shutting off your computer, tv, anything that can be stimulating or produce blue light an hour or two before bed. Read a good book, and a white noise machine, a sleep mask and ear plugs also helps. Keeping your room very dark is helpful.
 

Please let me know what you think. I’m also going to tag @Shepwith this also. She is a genius with this!

@Frogie I'm taking 3.5 mg daily not 2.5, breaking it up 5 times would i guess .75 with 1 dose of .5? Do you know where to find a .3 mg of melatonin? most stores the lowest dose I see is 3 mgs unfortunately.

[Frogie]

13 minutes ago, Michael102488 said:

@Frogie I'm taking 3.5 mg daily not 2.5, breaking it up 5 times would i guess .75 with 1 dose of .5? Do you know where to find a .3 mg of melatonin? most stores the lowest dose I see is 3 mgs unfortunately.

I am sooo sorry I didn’t read your signature correctly, please forgive me. You could split it into 5 doses and maybe take the .5 mg in the middle of the day? 
 

I purchased the .3 mg melatonin on Amazon. It’s Sundown melatonin 300 mcg, which is equivalent to 0.3 mg.

[Michael102488]

@Frogie How quickly do you think I'll be able to reduce if I actually can stablize?   I know that is a big if at this point. I'm finally working with a benzo informed doctor but am a bit afraid it's too little too late at this point from the starting and stopping, cold turkey of ADs, benzo and detox attempts. Just praying this doesn't take like a year and I still end up in protracted. 

[Frogie]

@Michael102488

 

I would think once you stabilize you could hold a couple months then start tapering. But tapering is a slow process. You just can’t do it on paper. You have to listen to your body. You’re lucky to have found a dr with some knowledge of benzos though. That’s a good sign that the dr will work with you on your taper. But it comes down to how long it will take you to stabilize and unfortunately no one can tell you the magic number.

[Altostrata]

As long as you're taking that amount of lorazepam, melatonin probably isn't doing anything.

[Shep]

@Michael102488How does the lorazepam make you feel? Does it cause any sedation? How long have you been taking Zzzquil and hydroxyzine?

[Michael102488]

4 hours ago, Shep said:

@Michael102488How does the lorazepam make you feel? Does it cause any sedation? How long have you been taking Zzzquil and hydroxyzine?

@Shep The lorazapam isn't really doing anything for my anxiety right now. I would say it kind of relaxes me by the end of the night but getting through a day is a challenge. It's not really causing much sedation especially since I tried to crossover to diazepam and just couldn't handle the side effects at higher doses (GI issues, depression, extreme sedation).  I only took zzzquil a couple times. And I take hydroxyzine on and off when I can't fall asleep. Any suggestions would be helpful I am meeting with my psych doc on Friday.

[Michael102488]

@Shep@Frogie @Altostrata I'm trying the even dosing 5X a day right now. Any other suggestions you may have though would be so helpful? My prescriber is trying add on medications but so far baclofen and the valium switch haven't been helpful, and we tried trazadone for a night that was a disaster. I legitimately cannot relax right now but yet am having agoraphobia and panic going anywhere. Not a great combo. 

[Altostrata]

Despite random guesses from your doctors, it's important that you stop changing drugs.

 

We need to see the effects of one drug change at a time, to establish your baseline symptom pattern. It's very possible you can stabilize on a reasonable drug schedule, then you can start methodically reducing.

 

Please clarify your signature with what drugs you are taking now, with their dosages.

[Michael102488]

21 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Despite random guesses from your doctors, it's important that you stop changing drugs.

 

We need to see the effects of one drug change at a time, to establish your baseline symptom pattern. It's very possible you can stabilize on a reasonable drug schedule, then you can start methodically reducing.

 

Please clarify your signature with what drugs you are taking now, with their dosages.

@Altostrata Thanks I updated current, I am currently just taking a dose of the baclofen at night as a taper off and likely coming off that soon.  I only took it for like 2 weeks since I felt short of breath combining lorazepam and baclofen during the day when dosed 3x a day. Have a meeting with doc on Friday and will be discussing. 

[Altostrata]

I cannot see how adding baclofen can possibly compensate for too much lorazepam causing a paradoxical reaction. If you have been taking baclofen for only 2 weeks, you probably can go off it in a few steps (half the dose, half again, half the remainder, then off) over a week.

[Michael102488]

55 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

I cannot see how adding baclofen can possibly compensate for too much lorazepam causing a paradoxical reaction. If you have been taking baclofen for only 2 weeks, you probably can go off it in a few steps (half the dose, half again, half the remainder, then off) over a week.

@Altostrata Yea it was prescribed to see if it would help with a lot of the really awful involuntary muscle contractions I am having, so that was at least a thought behind it. But yea it did not help.  I didn't  go higher then 15 mg a day and immediately started dropping. I should add to my history I was on 4 mg ativan 10 mg valium at one point. so I am tapered down a little bit from my highest dosing.