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rogeranon: Long time reader - looking for advice


rogeranon

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I am one of the horror stories you hope doesn't happen to you. I have been suffering the ill effects of ssris for 8 years and counting now. I was very ignorant when I started my journey. I will admit I was suffering when I sought out help from a psychiatrist. I had no idea what was in store for me afterwards. M y memory of my life has been effectively reduced to nothing. I am not longer a person at all. I am a stranger to my family and friends. I enjoy nothing and experience nothing. I have tried every depression treatment available (minus ECT) and nothing has helped. I am currently "stable" on a mix of lithium and caplyta but I am not psychotic or bipolar. No doctor has even diagnosed me psychotic or bipolar. I started having panic attacks in college after I had heart surgery and possibly from weed smoking or a one time mdma usage. Regardless, I sought out help as I was not functioning and was worried about dropping out of school. I took prozac and that only made my symptoms grow tenfold. I know i should have gotten off it but I was young and gullible. I listened to my doctor. My memory loss was almost immediate. It does seem as though i've had some horrific trauma response to the medication or events. I have been stuck in dpdr for 8 years now. I've tried countless meds, therapy, and treatments (including emdr, somatic work, ketamine, and tms). I come to you all begging for any advice. It seems like everyone else has gotten better long before I have. I don't know what to do anymore. Is it too late to try reinstating? My reluctance with that is twofold, it's been so long since i've taken ssris, I never felt better or stable on any ssri they just made it worse. I am taking magnesium, fish oil, vit d, b complex every day. Any advice or critiques are appreciated. 

May 2014 - August 2014 , prozac 20mg 

August 2014 - December 2014 zoloft (not sure dose but low 100mg maybe?) 

December 2014 - December 2015 Zoloft andabilify (abilify was .25mg i think)

December 2015 - September 2016 On Nothing Suffering immensely 

September 2016 - January 2020 cymbalta (not a high dose)

January 2020 - May 2020 Withdrawal from cymbalta (tapered over the course of a few months) 

May 2020 - September 2020 Viibryd 

September 2020 - March 2021 Nothing 

March 2021 - August 2021 Lamotrigine 100mg 

January 2022 Vraylar (got akathesia)

March 2022 - Present Caplyta (42mg)

April 2022 - Present Lithium 450 mg  Currently taking vitamin D + k2, b12, folinic acid, fish oil, magnesium malate 1000mg

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to rogeranon: Long time reader - looking for advice
  • Moderator

Hi @rogeranon

welcome to SA. It seems like you have had adverse reactions to your original drug and instead of stopping it and trying to help you in other ways doctors have started what we call a prescription cascade by adding drugs to treat side effects of other drugs. It is not uncommon. Am I understanding your experience correctly? To understand your situation better, can you help us by listing your drug history? It is important to be as accurate as possible but if you don't remember things don't worry too much, give approx dates. The last 2 years are more important. Please also list any supplements and other psychoactive substances that you may be taking - street drugs, pot, alcohol, coffee, nicotine etc. Once we get this info we may be able to help you better. 

How to List Drug History in Signature - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants

 

I am so sorry that you have suffered so badly for the last 8 years. 

 

We will do our best to help you here. 
OMW


 

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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@OnmywayThank you for replying. I just updated my signature! Unfortunately my symptoms only got worse on my first ssri so idk if it's even withdrawal or what anymore. 

May 2014 - August 2014 , prozac 20mg 

August 2014 - December 2014 zoloft (not sure dose but low 100mg maybe?) 

December 2014 - December 2015 Zoloft andabilify (abilify was .25mg i think)

December 2015 - September 2016 On Nothing Suffering immensely 

September 2016 - January 2020 cymbalta (not a high dose)

January 2020 - May 2020 Withdrawal from cymbalta (tapered over the course of a few months) 

May 2020 - September 2020 Viibryd 

September 2020 - March 2021 Nothing 

March 2021 - August 2021 Lamotrigine 100mg 

January 2022 Vraylar (got akathesia)

March 2022 - Present Caplyta (42mg)

April 2022 - Present Lithium 450 mg  Currently taking vitamin D + k2, b12, folinic acid, fish oil, magnesium malate 1000mg

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  • Moderator

Hi @rogeranon

Does that mean that your had a bad reaction to prozac initially but not to the other drugs that you took subsequently?  Were you stable on the other drugs? It seems like you changed many of them. Can you give us an overview of your symptoms while on them, why this changed and what the reactions were to those changes and to the starts/stops? It will help us help you better the more we know.

 

also can you give us your current symptoms, how they change during the day/whether the drugs relieve them etc.?

 

OMW

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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