Greeneyedfelines: Lexapro withdrawal for 5 months, considering reinstatement

[Greeneyedfelines]

Topic title before reducing:  5 months into Lexapro withdrawal & really struggling. Considering a possible reinstatement of 0.5mg

 

Hello Everyone.

I’m glad to be here with you all. Although I wish that none of us had to be experiencing any of this distress at all.

 

I’m currently approaching my sixth month of withdrawal from Lexapro. I have been on SSRI’s of various forms since 1999. Originally prescribed for anxiety and depression that were a natural response to life in a dysfunctional family and stressful life events.

 

I have been tapering very slowly since 2014. Got down to 2.2mg from 5mg in 2018 and held there as I was dealing with thyroid issues which required my focus, then perimenopause.

 

I’ve been very busy rebuilding my business post lockdowns  (I work part time from home) and planning a move since December and forgot to take my Lexapro for several weeks before Christmas. I thought (wrongly in hindsight) that this might be a good time to withdraw as I was on relatively low dose. However, Lexapro is stronger than most SSRIs mg for mg from what I’m aware through research and personal experience.

 

I previously attempted withdrawal from Citalopram in 2010 - according to doctors instructions over a matter of weeks. Much too quickly knowing what I know now. I was ok at first but around the 6 month mark I suffered horrendous protracted withdrawal - derealisation and depersonalisation that I’d never suffered previously. This is when I started on Lexapro as I had an adverse reaction when Citalopram was reinstated.

 

I’m around the 6 month mark again and it has only clicked that my issues may be withdrawal related. I’ve been focused on my thyroid / peri menopausal issues which have a lot of overlapping symptoms when under-treated.

 

Main symptoms - I can’t get started on or complete tasks, everything is taking immense effort to get motivated and to complete. I watched a Robert Sapolsky video on you tube recently. He describes ‘retarded motor function’ associated with depression  - which is very similar to what I’m experiencing. Also impulse control problems when I’m usually very calm and considered, especially in what I say to others. I feel like my personality has been hijacked.

 

My sleep is erratic and mood is very low. I either feel tearful, fearful or snappy. I’m usually positive and enthusiastic. I’ve also had physical problems like back ache, a sciatica flare, joint pain, tinnitus, headaches, temperature dysregulation/ sweating, dizziness & vertigo. I also experienced what I think was akathisia this week - extreme inner and external restlessness, couldn’t feel settled, sense of impending doom and feelings like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. This came out of the blue with no stressor preceding.

 

I’m struggling to function to work or socially. I haven’t been out much at all this year due to these symptoms and feel very isolated and lonely. I enjoy my own company but also need and benefit from the companionship of the right people around me at intervals. I love the sunshine, it’s the time of year that I feel most alive, happy and healthy. We don’t get much sun in the UK. So I usually make the most of every ray! But this year, I can’t bear to go out in the sunshine - it just makes me feel sad. Like a spotlight shining on how depleted I’m feeling and the darkness I’m experiencing.

 

I’ve also noticed that during my withdrawal, I have attracted a few toxic, emotionally unhealthy, manipulative people that I no longer speak to. I’m guessing this is because my energy and judgement is off balance and my boundaries / filters aren’t as strong right now which makes me more vulnerable.

 

I’m having very strong (neuro?) emotions. Feelings of shame, failure, paranoia, hopelessness and helplessness. Every negative issue that arises feels exaggerated, heightened and distressing. I’m overthinking everything, but can’t stop doing this, even when I know that’s what I’m doing. I seem to spend the best part of my day worrying and berating myself often speaking out loud to myself in recent weeks. Not in a helpful way the way that some people do. But harshly. Often not making sense. My self esteem is very low and I feel under immense stress and have very low functioning currently.

 

In the past month I also had Covid and viral meningitis at the same time. I was  bed bound for a week and it was very scary. Some of my symptoms may be from post viral fatigue? Thyroid? Peri menopause? Stress? It’s very difficult to unpick what is causing what. Although things like impulse control difficulties and akathisia have only ever been present during withdrawal attempts. 

 

I’m caffeine free, eat a healthy diet and do not take any medication other than HRT estrogel and micronised progesterone and Armour thyroid. I was also prescribed testosterone to help with stamina, confidence and sleep but haven’t commenced that yet due to the strength of my negative neuro emotions. Testosterone may amplify these which wouldn’t be at all helpful.
 

 I was exercising daily last year but haven’t been able to with any frequency or consistency this year. I take magnesium in the form of Epsom salts and spray, b complex and B12 which tends to be low due to my thyroid issues, vitamin D3 and K complex.

 

As much as I’m loathe to reinstate at all, my level of functioning is very low currently and deteriorating. I do not have the luxury to take an extended period of time off work to endure this as I need to be able to support myself financially. Maybe a very low reinstatement of 0.5mg may help me to be functional again and not mired in such distressing symptoms?
 

I hope that what I’ve wrote makes sense? Ruminating about writing the wrong thing here will no doubt take up part of today…
 

I’d be very grateful for any views, thoughts and advice from a community of people who understands what I’m going and the dilemma I’m facing. Thank you so much!

Edited May 29, 2022 by ChessieCat
added topic title before reducing original

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I can identify quite a lot with what you are going through, because it sounds so much like what I went through, and am still dealing with to a certain extent.  And no, you did not write the wrong thing here.  😃  I've also had the same experience of attracting unhealthy people (friends) and I've also had to walk away from these people.  Good for you for doing this.  I'm very sorry you've also had to deal with COVID and meningitis as well.  What dose of Lexapro were you on when you jumped off unintentionally last December?  

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise vertical list (no symptoms), only drug names, specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Use this format:

 

Drug name: date, dose, date, dose, date, dose…

Drug name: date, dose, date, dose, date, dose…

Etcetera

 

Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications.

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

I agree with you, I think a reinstatement could possibly help with your withdrawal symptoms. First though, I need more information about your drug history before suggesting a reinstatement dose.  Reinstatement is best done very carefully.  This is temporary, and after stabilizing you would then taper gradually off of this.  There is some risk involved.

 Here is some information about reinstatement.  

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

6 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

b complex and B12

At least for now, you may want to eliminate B vitamins, because they tend to rev up and activate our nervous system, which can exacerbate withdrawal symptoms like insomnia, anxiety, etc.  If you do exercise, stick with gentle walks, as any more intensity of exercise will also tend to activate the nervous system because it produces adrenaline.  

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen. 

[Greeneyedfelines]

@getofflex Thank you so much for your warm welcome and detailed reply. I really appreciate it 🙏😊 Knowing that we’re not alone is comforting and reassuring.

 

I’ve added my signature.

 

I was on 2.2mg. I used to mix a 5mg tablet with 5ml of water and used a 1ml syringe filling it only slightly past the 2 mark. So that’s not 2.2mg it’s 0.22mg isn’t it? Apologies. I’m struggling even to be certain of this.

 

I’ll lay off the B vitamins for a while and attempt to go back to walking for exercise and endorphins. Exercise is so good for my mental health when I can manage it.

 

 I will read through the links that you attached. It’s been over 6 years since my initial withdrawal research and I’m a bit rusty on the details 🙄

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply😊

[getofflex]

Thank you for answering my questions.  

 

 

5 minutes ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I used to mix a 5mg tablet with 5ml of water and used a 1ml syringe filling it only slightly past the 2 mark. So that’s not 2.2mg it’s 0.22mg isn’t it?

Yes, you are correct, you were only taking 0.22 mg Lexapro.  It was probably .2, not 2, on the syringe, so that would be 0.2 ml.  

 

Lexapro is an especially powerful SSRI, and is 2 to 4x times stronger than other SSRIs.  Do you have any specifics about your reductions in the past year or two?  That would help.  If you do, please put these in your signature, and include the dates as best you can remember.  Thank you.  

 

Since you were on such a low amount when you jumped off, I definitely would not reinstate to 0.5 mg, which is more than double of your dose when you quit.  When you look at my links, especially the first 3, you will see why this is so.  You could try reinstating a very small amount of, say, 0.05 mg of Lexapro.  Believe it or not, even this tiny amount will probably be sensed by your nervous system.  I reduced my Lexapro from 0.01 to 0.005 two weeks ago, and I can feel a difference.  These drugs are extremely powerful indeed!  

 

[Greeneyedfelines]

Hi again @getofflex

I’d been holding on 0.2mg for the past 4 years. My taper was interrupted by trying to sort my hormones out (hypothyroidism and perimenopause) and not wanting to upset the balance of this process. 
 

I agree that these drugs are very powerful. Lexapro especially so. I used to be able to feel their uptake at one side of my head at one point shortly after taking them. I’m working through the links that you sent to me. I’m going to print out the blank symptom checklist so that I can monitor waves, windows and progress.

 

In case this isn’t covered in the links I’ve yet to read, how do you measure out such a small amount? Would I need a special syringe if I do reinstate? I’m sure my 1ml syringe started with the smallest measurement being 0.1. If this  question is covered in the links, please disregard.

 

Thank you for taking the time to advise me. It is very much appreciated. I’m feeling some comfort and reassurance this evening from your messages, links and my reading that I can get things back on track over time. While I do, I’m in the best of company.
 

Thank you 🙏 

[getofflex]

1 hour ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I’d been holding on 0.2mg for the past 4 years. My taper was interrupted by trying to sort my hormones out (hypothyroidism and perimenopause) and not wanting to upset the balance of this process. 

That was wise and prudent of you to do this.  

 

1 hour ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I’m sure my 1ml syringe started with the smallest measurement being 0.1.

Your 1 ml syringe should be divided into increments of 0.1 ml.  You should see .9, .8, .7, .6, .5, .4, .3, .2, and .1.  Those should be further subdivided in increments of either 0.02 ml, or 0.01 ml.  At any rate, 0.05 ml is halfway between .1 and the tip of the syringe.  There should be a line there.  Fill it to that.  Be sure to hold the syringe tip up and flick with your finger to force the air bubble to the top, and slowly expel this air bubble to get an accurate dose.  This topic will go into all the facets of dosing using an oral syringe and liquid medication: 

 

Using an Oral Syringe

 

The best syringes are the ones that have a mark for every 0.01 ml, so you can measure very tiny doses with these - up to 0.01.  For when you taper in the future, if you need to go to a lower dose than that, the Lexapro liquid can be diluted with distilled water.  Here are some on amazon: 1 ml syringes on amazon. 

 

These syringes are even better - they are 0.5 ml, and they very plainly show 0.05 ml.  0.5 ml syringes on amazon

 

I'm very happy that I was able to help, and that you feel reassured.  That's what we are here for. 

Edited May 30, 2022 by getofflex

[Greeneyedfelines]

Thank you🙏 @getofflex

 

I’m going to order my syringes and Amber glass bottles now.

 

So to get 0.05mg I continue to mix a 5mg tablet with 5ml of sterile water and draw 0.05ml in the syringe. Then when I taper down further, I need to increase the ratio of water to tablet? I can’t access Lexapro liquid from my GP.

 

If all goes to plan, I’ll hold for a several months and start tapering again by 0.01mg per month in winter when I’ve completed my move and my busiest work season is over. During the winter, I’ll have more flexibility to deal with any potential set backs that may arise. How does this sound to you?

 

I’ll reinstate this week and post my progress.

 

Many thanks again. Wishing you every success with your taper 🙏😊

[getofflex]

17 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

Then when I taper down further, I need to increase the ratio of water to tablet?

Not necessarily.  You would just take 0.04 of the same liquid you are taking now - that's the most straighforward and least error prone way to do it.  Read the link on how to use oral syringes, if you haven't already.  The rest of your plan sounds excellent.  Keep us posted on how you are doing. 

[Greeneyedfelines]

@getofflex Thank you 🙏 I will re read the oral syringe article. My syringes arrive on Thursday. I’ll reinstate then.
 

I had a difficult morning / mini meltdown after another sleepless night but managed to do some gardening this afternoon to soothe my frazzled nerves. It helped 🌿😊

[Greeneyedfelines]

I’ve decided to see I can self - care my way through my withdrawal symptoms and build resilience as I get to know the real me again after 22 years of being failed by mainstream medicine’s inability to view us as holistic and unique sentient beings. It is natural and healthy to feel and express a range of emotions -  including distress, anger, fear and hurt - in response to life events and learn coping strategies and self soothing techniques to allow us to navigate difficult times in a healthy way.

 

I’ve been kind to myself this week and have been much more productive than I’ve managed to be since last summer. I’ve made lists to give a positive structure and routine to my day. Prioritised and broken tasks down into small chunks to make them more manageable and take rest breaks when I need to. 
 

I’ve started stretching / practicing gentle yoga in the sunshine and have taken gentle walks. Even such a low level of exercise causes my body to ache like I’ve done a full marathon! I’m using magnesium and Epsom salt foot soaks to ease my muscles and listening to my body and nervous system more closely so that I don’t overstretch myself while I’m healing.
 

I’ve enjoyed being in nature, listening to and watching local birds, planting and tending to my vegetables, flowers and fruit and watching them grow. I’ve also enjoyed laying with my cats in my lap, watching them and listening to them purr. Enjoying their presence and noticing them more.

 

I’ve painted and decluttered in preparation for my move.  I find decluttering cathartic. Letting go of what I no longer need. In terms of belongings and thoughts. I’m still having anxious and unhelpful thoughts. I’ve done much better this week with letting them go more quickly and not becoming overwhelmed by them. Listening to audiobooks while I work on tasks has been a helpful distraction from rumination and directs my thoughts in a more helpful and constructive way.
 

Sleep is still very problematic. It takes me a while to get to sleep and today my body and mind was very tired, so I had a rest day to allow me to recharge to be able to work from home tomorrow.

 

I’ve noticed that my jaw has felt very tight today and I’ve been clenching it at intervals today which has caused a headache. I also have tinnitus frequently. I’ve been practicing Qi Gong facial massage with chamomile oil to help to relax facial tension and headaches.

 

I’m feeling tearful and irritable today. My period is due so that is to be expected and will pass. Understanding the cycles of my body and working with them is helpful. 

 

I’ve accepted that this year is about my healing and growth rather than the adventures that I had in mind. There will be things that I want to do but can’t manage just yet. Everything takes me longer to do and I need frequent rest breaks. That’s  ok. I need to listen to my body and work at my body’s pace to heal.

 

I’ve had a really positive week. There have been low points and difficult symptoms that impact on my daily functioning. Even so, I’m really happy with my progress when I think of how dark and difficult recent months have been.

 

Wishing healing windows to all 🙏☺️

[getofflex]

14 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I’ve decided to see I can self - care my way through my withdrawal symptoms and build resilience as I get to know the real me again after 22 years of being failed by mainstream medicine’s inability to view us as holistic and unique sentient beings.

Good for you!  Does this mean that you decided not to reinstate a small dose of Lexapro?  I very much agree with you that the healthcare system has failed many of us, and often treat us like machines that need a quick fix.  

 

14 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I’ve enjoyed being in nature, listening to and watching local birds, planting and tending to my vegetables, flowers and fruit and watching them grow. I’ve also enjoyed laying with my cats in my lap, watching them and listening to them purr. Enjoying their presence and noticing them more.

 

We have a lot in common!  I love doing all these things, too.  It sounds as if you are doing a lot of very good things to take care of yourself.  This will go a long way to help you cope with symptoms, and to help your system to gradually heal in it's time.  

 

14 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

Sleep is still very problematic. It takes me a while to get to sleep and today my body and mind was very tired, so I had a rest day to allow me to recharge to be able to work from home tomorrow.

I've had this issue too, and insomnia has been my main problem during WD.  However, it has very gradually improved.  I still have difficulty with it some nights, especially when I'm going through a stressful time.  I'm choosing to be optimistic that my sleep will continue to improve in time.  Here are things I do that can help: 

 

My Insomnia Tips

 

Insomnia has been the worst part of WD for me.  Here is what I do to help.  

 

1) don't get overly anxious about it.  Realize that eventually, your sleep will improve.  Insomnia won't kill you, although it can make you pretty dang miserable.  Anxiety about sleep just makes the problem worse.  I know, easier said than done. I don't always do this, but I try.  Practice acceptance.

 

2)listen to very soft relaxing music at a very low volume.  

 

3)don't worry about what time it is.  Don't look at the clock.  

 

4) I try to stay active during the first half of the day.  I take a walk outside (mine is one hour) after breakfast every day.  Get out into the natural light during the day.  Then, as the day goes on, gradually slow down.  Several hours before bed, I only do very relaxing things, like read, or just sit and relax.  This helps to set our circadian rhythm.  Try to get outside and get some light exposure during the day, too. 

 

5) Avoid toxic, negative people.  Avoid stress when possible, although I know a lot of stressors are unavoidable.   For me, this can really help me to relax better.  

 

6) I stay away from MSG and aspartame.  These are exitotoxins which overstimulate the nervous system.  They are in a lot of our modern processed foods.  I try to eat more whole and natural, and not as many processed foods.  Also avoid processed meats with sodium nitrate, etc , such as hotdogs, ham, bacon, and sausage.  These can keep you up at night too.

 

7) avoid eating large amounts of sugar and processed carbohydrates.  This causes your blood glucose to spike up, which causes your pancreas to create insulin to control your blood sugar, which then causes your blood sugar to drop too low, and then your to create adrenaline to try to regulate your blood sugar.  Adrenaline keeps you awake because it is an activating hormone.

 

9) too much sodium (salt) can cause your blood pressure and heart rate to rise, and make it hard to sleep.

 

14 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I’m feeling tearful and irritable today. My period is due so that is to be expected and will pass

Many members here have their symptoms ramp up before their periods.  Yes, it will pass.  

 

14 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I’ve accepted that this year is about my healing and growth rather than the adventures that I had in mind. There will be things that I want to do but can’t manage just yet. Everything takes me longer to do and I need frequent rest breaks. That’s  ok. I need to listen to my body and work at my body’s pace to heal.

I hear a lot of peace and acceptance. You have a very strong attitude, and this will really help you to get through this!  Keep up the good work!

 

14 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I’ve had a really positive week. There have been low points and difficult symptoms that impact on my daily functioning. Even so, I’m really happy with my progress when I think of how dark and difficult recent months have been.

It sounds like you've had some pretty significant improvements then!  I'm very happy to hear this.  Even though you may hit some bumps in the road, you can look forward to continued improvements and recovery in the future.   

[Ariel]

Hi there @Greeneyedfelines

What a lovely profile name. (I used to live with a green-eyed feline, so I may be biased.)

Thank you for the nice message you left in my thread the other day. It was sweet to come across. 

 

I am also a lexapro survivor.

 

On 6/5/2022 at 3:19 AM, Greeneyedfelines said:

I’ve decided to see I can self - care my way through my withdrawal symptoms and build resilience as I get to know the real me again after 22 years of being failed by mainstream medicine’s inability to view us as holistic and unique sentient beings. It is natural and healthy to feel and express a range of emotions -  including distress, anger, fear and hurt - in response to life events and learn coping strategies and self soothing techniques to allow us to navigate difficult times in a healthy way.

 

I’ve been kind to myself this week and have been much more productive than I’ve managed to be since last summer. I’ve made lists to give a positive structure and routine to my day. Prioritised and broken tasks down into small chunks to make them more manageable and take rest breaks when I need to. 
 

I’ve started stretching / practicing gentle yoga in the sunshine and have taken gentle walks. Even such a low level of exercise causes my body to ache like I’ve done a full marathon! I’m using magnesium and Epsom salt foot soaks to ease my muscles and listening to my body and nervous system more closely so that I don’t overstretch myself while I’m healing.
 

I’ve enjoyed being in nature, listening to and watching local birds, planting and tending to my vegetables, flowers and fruit and watching them grow. I’ve also enjoyed laying with my cats in my lap, watching them and listening to them purr. Enjoying their presence and noticing them more.

 

I’ve painted and decluttered in preparation for my move.  I find decluttering cathartic. Letting go of what I no longer need. In terms of belongings and thoughts. I’m still having anxious and unhelpful thoughts. I’ve done much better this week with letting them go more quickly and not becoming overwhelmed by them. Listening to audiobooks while I work on tasks has been a helpful distraction from rumination and directs my thoughts in a more helpful and constructive way.

 

I am feeling inspired and encouraged by what you've shared in your post above. You've got a great attitude, I'm sure it's serving you well. Thank you for sharing and spreading the positive vibes. 

 

Tell me about your cats? I'd love to hear all about them! 

 

In solidarity and support,

A. 

[Greeneyedfelines]

@getofflex Thank you so much for your comprehensive reply. It is very much appreciated. Apologies for the delay in my reply. Huge congratulations to you! I see from your signature you’re completely drug free as of this month! Well done you! I’m so happy for you!! 🥳 
 

I didn’t reinstate. My absence here in recent months is for good reasons. I’ve reconnected with nature, myself and others and have been enjoying the summer sun and being outdoors. I’m having a duvet day reading in bed today to recharge my energy after a particularly busy week and another ahead of me.

 

I’ve been doing good. Even during the harder parts. I had the worst panic attack from hell earlier this week after a milder one the day before 😱I haven’t had one so bad in several years. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I think it was as a result of feeling overwhelmed by a heavy workload, imminent move and renovations to complete in the coming months, menopausal symptoms, toothache, ongoing sleep deprivation due to insomnia and a tax deadline! 
 

instead of pushing through, I put my work to one side and took my yoga mat outside and did 30 minutes of gentle stretches to alleviate the tension I was carrying. I felt so much better for it! 
 

Sleep continues to be elusive and fitful, probably partly due to extreme heat here in recent weeks. There’s no point stressing about it and making things worse. I rest and recharge as best I can with yoga, Tai chi / Qi Gong facial massage and reset days like today when I allow myself the luxury of doing very little.

 

Sometimes it’s hard to unpick what symptoms are caused by withdrawal and which are due to peri menopause and the daily stresses of life. Ultimately it doesn’t really matter. How I manage them is what counts. I’ve had a resurgence of hot flushes and still have premenstrual symptoms in spite of the absence of periods for several months now. Sometimes I feel tearful, tired and frustrated for no apparent reason. But most of all I feel grateful. I have so much to be thankful for.

 

I have such a strong connection with the nature and wildlife that surrounds me. My container garden of herbs, flowers & veggies is thriving and blooming. I’m making progress in things that I need to do - albeit at a much slower pace than anticipated, nevertheless, I’m moving in the right direction with more good days than bad.

 

When I think of how I struggled during the early years of my taper that took 8 years, I wonder how I got through. We have so much more resilience than we ever believe we have, don’t we? The first 4 months of this year were such a struggle. In hindsight I can see the signs of withdrawal in how dysregulated my emotions were. Everything felt like it took so much effort - even the smallest things. I still have days like that now, but thankfully much fewer.

 

I feel more authentic than I have in a long time and am attracting new and healthy connections with others. I have a new neighbour who moved here at the beginning of July. He is becoming a dear friend. He confided that he was struggling with withdrawal from pain medication for an injury sustained 5 years ago. I’m helping him to access some support with his withdrawal and paying forward the kindness and support that I’ve received here through my own withdrawal. 
 

I wouldn’t wish this process on anyone. It’s been torturous, debilitating, and a thief of time and joy at frequent intervals.
 

However, I have to admit that it has also been a great teacher. I’ve learned that no one knows my own body better than me and it is my informed choice that will decide what I put into it or expose it to.  I’ve learned that it’s natural and healthy to sit with dark thoughts and distressing emotions in response to life events or for no apparent reason at all. It is natural and healthy to feel the full spectrum of emotions without judging some as ‘bad’. Anger and sorrow are every bit as valid as joy and peace. I’ve learned that healthy connections do not always come from your family of origin, but can be made with likeminded people who accept us for who we are in our entirety. Blood isn’t always thicker than water. I’ve learned to trust my instincts and healthy ways to self soothe that I’m repeatedly drawn to. I’ve also learned that no experience or situation has to be the end of you. It really can be the start of a new, much needed chapter. Any battle scars accrued in the process remain to remind us of valuable lessons learned that we can share with others - like my new friend.

 

How are you doing? @getofflex I’ll pop over to your thread today to have a catch up.

 

Huge healing hugs to you 🤗

 

 

 

[Greeneyedfelines]

On 6/9/2022 at 6:17 PM, Ariel said:

Hi there @Greeneyedfelines

What a lovely profile name. (I used to live with a green-eyed feline, so I may be biased.)

Thank you for the nice message you left in my thread the other day. It was sweet to come across. 

 

I am also a lexapro survivor.

 

 

I am feeling inspired and encouraged by what you've shared in your post above. You've got a great attitude, I'm sure it's serving you well. Thank you for sharing and spreading the positive vibes. 

 

Tell me about your cats? I'd love to hear all about them! 

 

In solidarity and support,

A. 

Hi @Aerial

Thank you for such a lovely message and your kind words… so lovely to receive.

 

My three green eyed felines were sitting on my bed with me all looking up at me when I was setting my profile up. It would have been rude to use any other name as my profile name 😊 They are adorable! All with very unique but equally lovable personalities🐱🐱🐱💕

 

I’ve read about your recent window. I’m so glad that you had that and could enjoy a brief period of just being. I really hope that you have another window very soon 🙏

 

Your posts are wonderful to read, Aerial. They capture so many of our shared experiences so perfectly and the thought processes that accompany this journey.

 

I love the phrase ‘in solidarity and support’ - fantastic! The same to you fellow Lexapro survivor 🙏

 

Be kind to yourself @Aerial

Huge healing hugs to you 🤗 

 

 

 

 

 

[getofflex]

7 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I didn’t reinstate. My absence here in recent months is for good reasons.

I'm glad to hear that, and glad to hear you are doing well!  

 

7 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I had the worst panic attack from hell earlier this week after a milder one the day before 😱I haven’t had one so bad in several years. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I think it was as a result of feeling overwhelmed by a heavy workload, imminent move and renovations to complete in the coming months, menopausal symptoms, toothache, ongoing sleep deprivation due to insomnia and a tax deadline! 

It's certainly understandable why you had the panic attack from hell!  Sounds like the perfect storm of stress!  

 

7 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I have such a strong connection with the nature and wildlife that surrounds me. My container garden of herbs, flowers & veggies is thriving and blooming

I'm the same way!  I love nature, and growing things myself.  

 

7 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

I feel more authentic than I have in a long time and am attracting new and healthy connections with others. I have a new neighbour who moved here at the beginning of July. He is becoming a dear friend. He confided that he was struggling with withdrawal from pain medication for an injury sustained 5 years ago. I’m helping him to access some support with his withdrawal and paying forward the kindness and support that I’ve received here through my own withdrawal.

How wonderful!  That is truly a blessing, to build new healthy friendships.  And, it really helps when we can help others who are going through the same difficulties we went through.  That is why I enjoy moderating here.  

 

7 hours ago, Greeneyedfelines said:

It is natural and healthy to feel the full spectrum of emotions without judging some as ‘bad’. Anger and sorrow are every bit as valid as joy and peace. I’ve learned that healthy connections do not always come from your family of origin, but can be made with likeminded people who accept us for who we are in our entirety. Blood isn’t always thicker than water. I’ve learned to trust my instincts and healthy ways to self soothe that I’m repeatedly drawn to. I’ve also learned that no experience or situation has to be the end of you. It really can be the start of a new, much needed chapter. Any battle scars accrued in the process remain to remind us of valuable lessons learned that we can share with others - like my new friend.

It sounds like you are doing extremely well.  You have a fantastic attitude about it all. I couldn't agree more - all of our emotions are what make life rich.  Without the painful emotions, like anger, sadness, etc, our life wouldn't be as rich.  The dark threads of a tapestry help to hi light and show off the lighter threads of a tapestry.  

 

Thanks for asking how I'm doing.  Overall, I'm doing very well.  I had a bit of a wobbly week this week, due to severe storms and flooding in my city, but luckily my house wasn't flooding.  Thanks for asking about me.