Guest: withdrawal from different medication

[FeralCatman]

I have felt the same way along the way. Things were much worse just a few months ago but I am recovering. It takes quite awhile. Just know that all of this will pass.

[FeralCatman]

I just read your thread. I am so sorry 😺 you are having so much trouble right now. I was in the submarine service and have worked some very dangerous jobs and have had some pretty harrowing experiences in my life. The program I went through in the Navy is the toughest academic program in the military and at the time I went through had a 70% attrition rate. Going through withdrawal is definitely the toughest thing I have ever had to do. It is very hard and can be scary at times. Especially early on. This is what you are experiencing right now. Sometimes the only thing you can do is to break your day down into the smallest chunks that you can deal with even if that means on some days you go minute by minute. I have had to do this and as each minute passes I treat it as a success and move on to the next minute. It's tedious but it works for me. This is how many military special forces personnel and extreme athletes deal with hardship and adversity.

 

I am 10 Months and 22 days into recovery and things were pretty bad a few months ago. However, things are improving already and I am gaining a little bit more of my functionality back every day. This will happen for you too. It will take time but YOU WILL GET THERE.  Just keep taking the next step, one after the other, and you will be okay in time. What you are going through right now is temporary. You have come to a good place because all of us have gone through the process and know what it is like. There are also some very knowledgeable people here who can help and lots of good references. You have already passed the biggest hurdle and that is finding help.

 

Don't lose hope. You will be okay in time. 😉✌️😺😺😺

[FeralCatman]

I know you are struggling badly right now. I know that reading a lot right now is a lot to ask. I have been thinking of how I can frame this to put your mind a bit more at ease with what is going on. I think I can.

 

Years ago I took a Red Cross class on administering psychological first aid. They gave a list of symptoms that people who have experienced a traumatic and extremely stressful event(s) can experience. The list of symptoms is the same as what is listed under pretty much every mental health diagnosis that there is up to and including delusions and hallucinations. All due to stress overload.

 

In part, this is what has happened to you. These medications are very powerful and they alter your brain, nervous system, and your body. Take them long enough and pretty much every cell in you body can be affected. Taking them away, especially in the rapid and haphazard manner which was done with you, is extremely stressful on the brain, nervous system, and body. What you are experiencing is the reaction by your brain, nervous system, and body as it tries to cope with the sudden change in your neurochemistry and body systems that were affected. The fact that you are aware of what is going on and can ask for help says that this is due to stress from withdrawal and not genuine psychosis or anything like that. You are lucid enough to have known to ask for help and went online to find this web site. People experiencing genuine psychosis generally are unaware they have disconnected from reality. You have not done that. You are also probably sleep deprived which in and of itself can do crazy things to your mind and body. This is why intelligence agencies and the military use sleep deprivation to extract information from people. No matter who you are and how tough you think you are sleep deprivation alone will break you down very quickly. Add that to the stress of a break up and the trauma of your mental health treatment experiences and it all adds up to massive stress overload and extreme anxiety. OCD by the way falls within the classification of an anxiety disorder so your OCD symptoms may be the result of extreme anxiety. These symptoms should pass it's just a way your mind and body are using to cope with the distress. So here is the formula that describes what you are experiencing.

 

Drug Withdrawal Stress + Sleep Deprivation + Relationship Stress + Trauma Induced by treatment + Stress Induced Anxiety = Your current symptoms and misery

 

There is a solution to this equation. Time and knowledge. Given time each of these variables will start to correct themselves and your symptoms will start to ease. It just takes time. When you are ready you can start building the knowledge you will need to get through this and come out on the other end. As I said earlier, you are in the right place with good and knowledgeable people who can help coach you through it. You are not going crazy. You will ultimately be okay. 😉✌️😺😺😺😺

[Guest]

22 hours ago, FeralCatman said:

I know you are struggling badly right now. I know that reading a lot right now is a lot to ask. I have been thinking of how I can frame this to put your mind a bit more at ease with what is going on. I think I can.

 

Years ago I took a Red Cross class on administering psychological first aid. They gave a list of symptoms that people who have experienced a traumatic and extremely stressful event(s) can experience. The list of symptoms is the same as what is listed under pretty much every mental health diagnosis that there is up to and including delusions and hallucinations. All due to stress overload.

 

In part, this is what has happened to you. These medications are very powerful and they alter your brain, nervous system, and your body. Take them long enough and pretty much every cell in you body can be affected. Taking them away, especially in the rapid and haphazard manner which was done with you, is extremely stressful on the brain, nervous system, and body. What you are experiencing is the reaction by your brain, nervous system, and body as it tries to cope with the sudden change in your neurochemistry and body systems that were affected. The fact that you are aware of what is going on and can ask for help says that this is due to stress from withdrawal and not genuine psychosis or anything like that. You are lucid enough to have known to ask for help and went online to find this web site. People experiencing genuine psychosis generally are unaware they have disconnected from reality. You have not done that. You are also probably sleep deprived which in and of itself can do crazy things to your mind and body. This is why intelligence agencies and the military use sleep deprivation to extract information from people. No matter who you are and how tough you think you are sleep deprivation alone will break you down very quickly. Add that to the stress of a break up and the trauma of your mental health treatment experiences and it all adds up to massive stress overload and extreme anxiety. OCD by the way falls within the classification of an anxiety disorder so your OCD symptoms may be the result of extreme anxiety. These symptoms should pass it's just a way your mind and body are using to cope with the distress. So here is the formula that describes what you are experiencing.

 

Drug Withdrawal Stress + Sleep Deprivation + Relationship Stress + Trauma Induced by treatment + Stress Induced Anxiety = Your current symptoms and misery

 

There is a solution to this equation. Time and knowledge. Given time each of these variables will start to correct themselves and your symptoms will start to ease. It just takes time. When you are ready you can start building the knowledge you will need to get through this and come out on the other end. As I said earlier, you are in the right place with good and knowledgeable people who can help coach you through it. You are not going crazy. You will ultimately be okay. 😉✌️😺😺😺😺

Hello , and thank you.

 

it’s not possible for me anymore to put words together. My mood and my personality change every houre. I can’t cope.

 

today I was sleeping the hole day,had nightmares wake up in panic and then lay down to sleep again . I only wake up to eat.

 

i think I have all personality disorders that exist. 
 

i think the people around me make fun of me. When I told them about my problems. 
 

i also can’t feel anything. I don’t have my own thought. I repeat what someone told me.

 

i live with my parents at the moment. And I Mimik them. Like I have no own personality anymore. I behave like them. But most of the time I am in my room. 
 

 

i hate all the people around me I am jealous and envy to all the people around me. And I trust no one 

[Guest]

I quit CT, what should I do now? 

[FeralCatman]

By my understanding what you are going through is pretty typical of withdrawal from an anti psychotic. When I first started tapering several years ago I had a lot of really wacky things happen in the early stages similar to what you describe. As you know going CT is the toughest way to go and 50 mg is a big dose to suddenly stop taking. I am still going through the process myself and am still learning a lot. The best people to ask would be one of the moderators on this site since they are far more knowledgeable and experienced with helping people such as yourself. I thought I saw one of the moderators post in your thread that suggested a reinstatement. That may be a possibility but I don't have the knowledge base to make a good recommendation. That said, if you were a bit more comfortable and stable on the quetiapine you may want to see what one of the moderators thinks about a reinstatement of the quetiapine at a lower dose and see if it helps. So much happened so fast WRT your medications it's hard to say. If it does help then once you are stable you could then do a very slow taper.

[Shep]

22 hours ago, Quittingquentiapin said:

I quit CT, what should I do now? 

 

Please re-read your thread. We went over your options, such as a possible reinstatement, although as we discussed earlier, it would be hard to narrow down exactly which drug to reinstate. You'll be the best judge of that and we'll work with you to get you set up on a reinstatement and a taper. 

 

There are also some good non-drug coping skills here on your thread. Unfortunately, the cold turkey folks have a lot of damage that takes time to repair. Please take good care of yourself and try not to draw attention to yourself, which could end up with you on a psychiatric ward. It does get better in time. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Shep said:

Please take good care of yourself and try not to draw attention to yourself, which could end up with you on a psychiatric ward. It does get better in time. 

How did you mean that ? 

[Shep]

 

On 6/24/2022 at 4:36 PM, Quittingquentiapin said:

i think the people around me make fun of me. When I told them about my problems. 

 

When I read this, I became concerned that you might be talking about your symptoms you've described as psychosis and with your history of repeated hospitalizations, you might be pressured into going back to the hospital. 

 

You mentioned in an earlier post, "in my psychosis I thought that everyone want me bad and that I can feel what other people feel, I thought people will harm me." 

 

Those kinds of disclosures can lead other people to think you are paranoid and "mentally ill" if they don't understand or believe that withdrawal causes these types of thoughts. 

 

It's safe to post here about your concerns but when it comes to people outside the withdrawal community, it's best to be cautious about what you say.

 

These symptoms are temporary and you will feel better in time. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Shep said:

 

 

When I read this, I became concerned that you might be talking about your symptoms you've described as psychosis and with your history of repeated hospitalizations, you might be pressured into going back to the hospital. 

 

You mentioned in an earlier post, "in my psychosis I thought that everyone want me bad and that I can feel what other people feel, I thought people will harm me." 

 

Those kinds of disclosures can lead other people to think you are paranoid and "mentally ill" if they don't understand or believe that withdrawal causes these types of thoughts. 

 

It's safe to post here about your concerns but when it comes to people outside the withdrawal community, it's best to be cautious about what you say.

 

These symptoms are temporary and you will feel better in time. 

Hi Shep,

 

yes, no I tell the people that Iam not fine at the moment. But I don’t talk with them about my symptoms. Or anything else. Because I now they don’t understand. 
 

I feel awfull, I didn’t know how to talk to people. Maybe I talk to no one, they don’t care about me, I think, they never did. 
 

and now that Iam not good they are ignoring me. Nobody contacted me or something. Like I didn’t exist. 
 

For me my life seems over. When everyone else are happy. And they made it in life, I feel like a hole loser. 

[Ariel]

Guest

 

On 6/26/2022 at 8:17 AM, Quittingquentiapin said:

I feel awfull, I didn’t know how to talk to people. Maybe I talk to no one, they don’t care about me, I think, they never did. 
 

and now that Iam not good they are ignoring me. Nobody contacted me or something. Like I didn’t exist. 
 

For me my life seems over. When everyone else are happy. And they made it in life, I feel like a hole loser. 

 

I'm sorry you're suffering.

WD can feel so awful sometimes. 

I wish there were something I could say or do to take your pain away.

What I can tell you is: This is temporary. It will pass. 

The horrible experiences will fade as you recover, and you will heal. 

Healing is happening all the time, even when we don't consciously feel it. 

Healing is happening even when we feel at our worst. 

 

Looking at your drug signature I can see that you've had a lot of drug changes and CTs in the past few years. Your most recent CT was only a few months ago. 

Your brain, body, nervous system are healing and that takes time. Healing is a process, and it often takes longer than we'd like. When we are suffering we want it to stop now. It can be hard to wait and be patient. But we need to practice patience as well as we can, and give our brains, bodies, nervous systems lots of time and space and rest to heal. They are working for you around the clock making repairs. 

 

It gets better, Qq. You won't feel like this forever. 

You will heal. Healing is happening <3

 

[Guest]

On 6/26/2022 at 8:31 AM, Ariel said:

Guest

 

 

I'm sorry you're suffering.

WD can feel so awful sometimes. 

I wish there were something I could say or do to take your pain away.

What I can tell you is: This is temporary. It will pass. 

The horrible experiences will fade as you recover, and you will heal. 

Healing is happening all the time, even when we don't consciously feel it. 

Healing is happening even when we feel at our worst. 

 

Looking at your drug signature I can see that you've had a lot of drug changes and CTs in the past few years. Your most recent CT was only a few months ago. 

Your brain, body, nervous system are healing and that takes time. Healing is a process, and it often takes longer than we'd like. When we are suffering we want it to stop now. It can be hard to wait and be patient. But we need to practice patience as well as we can, and give our brains, bodies, nervous systems lots of time and space and rest to heal. They are working for you around the clock making repairs. 

 

It gets better, Qq. You won't feel like this forever. 

You will heal. Healing is happening ❤️

 

Thank you. But it is hounding worse and worse. I don’t want to do anything, and stay at home. All day, but my parents don’t let me, they say. Get up you will never feel good when stay in bed. I act like everything is ok, but it’s not. I feel my brain is burn out, I have this strange thoughts. And I don’t want to live any more. I just want to be in bed all day, I don’t have appetite nothing.

 

it feels like I lost my soul 

 

this is traumatic for me that they push me. 
 

i need to do a trauma therapy I think. That is where are my problems came from, my low selfworth and then this medications.

 

it seems there is no way out at the moment. 

[Ariel]

Hi Qq,

It's okay to have days where you stay at home and lie in bed. I think many of us have days like that in WD -- I certainly do.

If that's what you need right now, it's okay. 

This is temporary. It will pass. It gets better. 

The time will come when it's easier to get out of bed and go outside. 

This is what you're going through right now, and all you have to do is get through it in this moment. And then the next moment, and the next moment, and the next.

One moment at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time. 

Sending you a hug

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Ariel said:

Hallo QQ,

Es ist okay, Tage zu haben, an denen du zu Hause bleibst und im Bett liegst. Ich denke, viele von uns haben solche Tage bei WD – ich jedenfalls.

Wenn es das ist, was du jetzt brauchst, ist es in Ordnung. 

Das ist vorübergehend. Es wird vergehen. Es wird besser. 

Die Zeit wird kommen, in der es einfacher ist, aus dem Bett aufzustehen und nach draußen zu gehen. 

Das ist es, was du gerade durchmachst, und alles, was du tun musst, ist, es in diesem Moment durchzustehen. Und dann im nächsten Moment und im nächsten Moment und im nächsten.

Einen Augenblick nach dem anderen. Eine Stunde am Stück. Ein Tag nach dem anderen. 

Schicke dir eine Umarmung

Hi Ariel,

 

thank you. I don’t know how to make it, my parents and Al the people around me are annoyed by me, because I am not good at all since 2 years. My mother told me today, it’s now 2 years and you are don’t getting better, put you self together. 
 

and then I feel really bad. And I put myself together, I try.Than I get this blank stare, because I don’t now what is going on with me.

 

i googled a lot today about trauma and how it can be in a relationship. Is a victim, helper  relationship. My boyfriend trie to safe me and now I try to safe him. If this is even real. 
 

i don’t know what is real and what is not. 
 

how will I even now if I have a psychosis. 
 

when I am out, and see something, than I think about this the hole day, I read something, and act up on this information. My filter is gone. I can’t feel myself. I can not filter information. At the moment I am really really scared. 
 

i tray to have a normal life, but is stressing me, it also stressing me to stay at home. Then I am awake the hole night, because I don’t do anything daytime, and start to google and search in this forum. 
 

i think I can feel what my exboyfriend feel, I also think I think like him. But I know deepdown, that it can be true. Maybe I’m lying to myself.

 

i am scared to disgrace myself. 
 

i m lost 

[Guest]

This is what I found from a member here:

This morning I was thinking that for those who dislike me, they are certainly getting their "revenge" albeit unknowingly. My body is really falling apart since getting off the drugs, really rapidly.

 

I have access to only 2 feelings it seems like: anger and pain. Very little satisfaction and certainly not 'love'. My behavior and thoughts are ruled by others, I seldom ever act because I 'want' to, it is always as a reaction to what I think others want and helps me to avoid pain or get approval. It seems like I have never done anything in my life that was not motivated by those 2 concepts.

 

This is a rejection I have felt my whole life, it is all I know about relationships with people and it won't be going away anytime soon. AD withdrawal was a temporary change, now I am back to having to be the 'me' that I was again. Nothing has changed except one more escape route has been closed off.

 

I have been given an idea on how to fix it and even the type of therapy to seek. I am just feeling so demoralized by life and my relationship to others right now that all I can do is cry. I am so sick of crying but I just can't seem to make myself get out of the house and start doing something about it. It is everywhere, everyone I come in contact with is spoiled by my internal dialogue.

 

And it is not quite anhedonia either, it is more like a 'soul tiredness'. I've been here before. I have not recovered yet and the rotten thing is is that I was hoping to be recovered into a 'new' me. 

 

My ego (what you think you are) blew away into pieces. Boundaries that belonged to my personality structure were far exceeded. It's an intrusion of your integrity that is not easily to describe but I'll try to explain: I had thoughts and emotions that were not mine, thoughts and emotions that didn't belong to my personality, my character, that which makes me the person I am. Thoughts that were racing in my head like "resonating clouds of gas". The thoughts were extremely immoral, offensive, negative and from a selfdestructive kind. I was embarrassed by these thoughts and so afraid, not able to stop them. The thoughts were extremely clear and strong, I actually could "hear" the thoughts and it's very difficult to explain how that's like, but "resonating clouds of gas" fits the closest description. It's through this experience that I can better understand now how a phenomenon such as telepathy might work.

 

Next to it I experienced exaggerated feelings of compunction. I "condemned" myself for "sins" from my childhood. The emotions that came up were horrible with thoughts like: "how do you think to live on with this ?", again, I just couldn't rationalize anymore, as responsible as "I" made myself for these "sins". In my mind I also could "see" symbols (and you have to understand that I saw it very clearly, like in a very vivid dream experience), symbols that scared the **** out of me, spires (like in the dark ages), people with masks, etc., all kind of bizarre and scrappy. I got oversensitive for coffee, herbs, etc.. I had become extremely hypersensitive to light and sound, which caused me pain upon top of my head, symptoms you can best compare with meningitis. My neck muscles were heavily contracted. I couldn't watch any movie with more or less contained violence. It scared me, my nervoussystem just couldn't bear it
 

this is what I feel 

 

Edited June 27, 2022 by ChessieCat
Resized font added spacing

[Shep]

On 6/26/2022 at 8:17 AM, Quittingquentiapin said:

yes, no I tell the people that Iam not fine at the moment. But I don’t talk with them about my symptoms. Or anything else. Because I now they don’t understand. 

 

This is wise, Guest. 

 

On 6/26/2022 at 6:10 PM, Quittingquentiapin said:

thank you. I don’t know how to make it, my parents and Al the people around me are annoyed by me, because I am not good at all since 2 years. My mother told me today, it’s now 2 years and you are don’t getting better, put you self together. 
 

and then I feel really bad. And I put myself together, I try.Than I get this blank stare, because I don’t now what is going on with me.

 

If you're currently living with your parents and you think it would help, you may want to print out the "stopping antidepressants" paper, which came from the Royal College of Psychiatrists in the UK, so a credible source according to those who believe in psychiatry and its "cures." The paper is here: 

 

On 9/28/2020 at 5:53 PM, Shep said:

From CEPUK, 9/24/2020:

 

Major milestone: Royal College releases new guidance on stopping antidepressants

 

And here is the leaflet from Royal College of Psychiatry website: 

 

PRINT OUT:

 

Stopping antidepressants

 

Might be useful to print out and take to doctors ignorant of withdrawal. May also be helpful for helping family members understand. 

 

 

 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Ariel said:

@Onmyway

I'm sorry about the "Interpersonal issues".

Sigh. 

I hear you. 

 

I'm glad you were able to enjoy the 3-day trip in the midst of it. 

 

WD is really teaching me how much of a social being I am, for better and for worse. I'd venture a conservative estimate that 99% of what my neuro-emotions and WD-thoughts obsess over has to do with social interactions, behavior, relationships, interpersonal issues. The slightest perceived rejection, abandonment, mistreatment, punishment (etc.) can set things off, as well as my own social ineptitude. Anytime I feel like someone else's behavior is surprising/unexpected, when there's an element of unpredictability/volatility -- even if I rationally can see it's benign and impersonal -- if these changes are not specifically acknowledged and addressed I start to lose my mind. Misunderstandings and miscommunication can send me over the edge. I don't know how this ties in with C-PTSD stuff (insecure attachment, etc.), it might well do (surfacing old learned patterns and so on). But after my recent window experience I know it's WD and not me stirring the pot, which helps a lot.  

 

I don't have much to say except that I'm glad you're taking good care of yourself. You're doing what you feel is needed, e.g. moving on, holding longer, honoring your parts. 

 

I wish you luck, peace, ease, meaning on this next leg of your journey. 
Safe travels ❤️

A. 

 

I also experience this at the moment. I noticed everything the slitest change makes me crazy. 
 

did this go away for you? 

[Guest]

In the last few weeks when I took quentiapin, I have visions. That visions scared me so much that I quit cold turkey, one Evenening the visions where so bad that I would take all my lorazepam  like 20 pieces just to die, because it was so horrible, my mother took the Tavor and throw it in the toilet, since that I stoped quentiapin CT. And now the visions come back. Is like my subconscious are working to make this visions true and that I can’t nothing do about it. This makes me hopeless and leave me breathlast I don’t wanna go out because I’m scared this things will happen 

 

Edited June 29, 2022 by ChessieCat
Resized font

[Ariel]

Hi Qq,

You asked me a question over in Onmyway's topic. Thought it best to reply to you here. 

 

From my post to Onmyway:

6 hours ago, Ariel said:

 

WD is really teaching me how much of a social being I am, for better and for worse. I'd venture a conservative estimate that 99% of what my neuro-emotions and WD-thoughts obsess over has to do with social interactions, behavior, relationships, interpersonal issues. The slightest perceived rejection, abandonment, mistreatment, punishment (etc.) can set things off, as well as my own social ineptitude. Anytime I feel like someone else's behavior is surprising/unexpected, when there's an element of unpredictability/volatility -- even if I rationally can see it's benign and impersonal -- if these changes are not specifically acknowledged and addressed I start to lose my mind. Misunderstandings and miscommunication can send me over the edge. I don't know how this ties in with C-PTSD stuff (insecure attachment, etc.), it might well do (surfacing old learned patterns and so on). But after my recent window experience I know it's WD and not me stirring the pot, which helps a lot.  

 

Here is the question you asked me: 

I also experience this at the moment. I noticed everything the slitest change makes me crazy. 
did this go away for you? 

 

This is a WD symptom that comes and goes. It still bothers me sometimes. Overall, though, it's much better than it used to be.  

Also, I have more experience with how to cope when it shows up. 

 

Take care, Qq. It gets better <3

[Shep]

On 6/29/2022 at 8:55 AM, Quittingquentiapin said:

In the last few weeks when I took quentiapin, I have visions. That visions scared me so much that I quit cold turkey, one Evenening the visions where so bad that I would take all my lorazepam  like 20 pieces just to die, because it was so horrible, my mother took the Tavor and throw it in the toilet, since that I stoped quentiapin CT. And now the visions come back. Is like my subconscious are working to make this visions true and that I can’t nothing do about it. This makes me hopeless and leave me breathlast I don’t wanna go out because I’m scared this things will happen 

 

 

 

QQ, the below quote is something I wrote 4 years ago about a wave that included visuals and some things that helped. The more you are able to calm your nervous system, the more likely you'll transition from scary visions to calming visions. 

 

You have more control over this than you might think. 

 

On 7/13/2018 at 6:16 AM, Shep said:

Wave details:

 

Sleep has returned to 1 - 2 hours a night for one or two nights, followed by 6 - 6.5 hour nights for several and then back to the 1 - 2 hours. 

 

DP/DR is severe. Everything looks "wrong" and "off" and I feel as if I'm walking around inside of my own corpse body. Very, very detached. And the visuals are only weighed down by exhaustion. I've noticed that the "need" for visuals is heightened and they come across as "helpful" due to learning how to calm my nervous system. This video explains how this works:

 

Compassion for Voices: a tale of courage and hope video (5 minutes)

 

I've come a LONG way since acute. 

 

Still, fatigue is severe. Battle fatigue rages as the years go on with this nightmare journey. 

 

Periodic and very severe suicidal ideation. I cannot recommend this technique enough for SI: 

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

And a couple great calming videos:

 

Mooji - Unbound Peace video (14 minutes)

 

Nervousness, Anxiety & Fear ~ Spoken by Mooji video (10 minutes)

 

 

[Guest]

@Ariel@Shep

 

How long did that take?  For example, I'm at a barbecue now and I feel like I can read minds.  And music is also playing here, and I think they want to send me signals with it?  Or. That the songs are intended for me.  I'm extremely sensitive and think everyone thinks badly of me, I don't dare at all, I'm frozen to death, I'm with my family, but I think everyone hates me.  I'm totally exhausted

 

is this psychosis? Or shizophrenia?

[Guest]

I am so scared that Iam mentally ill, and that this medication made mi really Ill, and that I will never be the same again. 
 

the stigma is so scary for me. I think that people see me with different eyes ? 

[Shep]

Guest Instead of fixating on your symptoms, try being grateful. You were invited to a barbecue with family. 

 

Your family may not understand what you're going through. To be honest, I doubt it's possible to understand these types of symptoms without experiencing them. 

 

Regardless, you have a home and plenty of food to eat. There's a lot to be grateful for. 

 

On 7/2/2022 at 1:20 PM, Quittingquentiapin said:

I'm totally exhausted

 

It's a lot less exhausting if you can float and breathe through your symptoms instead of analyzing them. 

 

On 7/2/2022 at 1:20 PM, Quittingquentiapin said:

is this psychosis? Or shizophrenia?

 

No. People who are psychotic have lost touch with reality. If you were psychotic, we wouldn't be able to have this conversation. You're able to describe what's happening to you and associate it with withdrawal. 

 

But again, I would stop analyzing this and simply be grateful for what you have. These symptoms will fade out in time. The less you fight with them, the more your nervous system calms down and the faster the symptoms will leave. My last post contains a video explaining how this works. 

 

[Guest]

@Shep

 

thank you for this words, maybe that’s what I needed. I never felt accepted from my family, because I’m single with 35 and I think they think bad of me, and then my mental illness. 
 

now that Iam at home. 
 

i think I manipulated all, that they think something is wrong with them, I don’t know it sound weired, but I want them to change maybe. Iam not normal, and this is okay. Maybe I try to change everyone around me. 
 

mybe i am the black sheep I don’t know.

 

i feel really like a psychopath everything happens so unconscious that I have no control how I behave. I blame everyone but maybe is me who should be blamed. I don’t want to go out anymore until Iam myself.

 

I don’t know how they see me, maybe I m wrong with everything.

 

my mind is a mess. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings and they don’t fit together. Like I have no personality at Al. I try to control everything around me. I have no life Iam just jealous k think. K don’t fit in. 
 

this seems to never go away. My perception is so weird. 
 

there a 10101001 puzzle I try to connect but it doesn’t work. Iam always in my mind, i can’t let things go. I don’t feel myself. Is like autopilot and I’m scared to crush and all the people around me 

[Guest]

@Shep

 

hi Shep, 

 

i read in you Thread that you go to work trough withdrawal. I also want to go back to work, ich have the opportunity to go back in my old company. But Iam really scared that this will mess me up a little more. 
 

how was it for you to go to work, is it better to stay at home? 
 

and I also read you had hallucinations, did this go away and never come back? 
 

Thank you 

[Shep]

5 hours ago, Quittingquentiapin said:

@Shep

 

hi Shep, 

 

i read in you Thread that you go to work trough withdrawal. I also want to go back to work, ich have the opportunity to go back in my old company. But Iam really scared that this will mess me up a little more. 
 

how was it for you to go to work, is it better to stay at home? 
 

and I also read you had hallucinations, did this go away and never come back? 
 

Thank you 

 

For me, working was the best thing I could do. I would have been homeless without the income. 

 

Fortunately, I didn't have many physical symptoms, such as pain, that kept me from working. I simply ignored the visuals. My first position during withdrawal also didn't require as much cognitive ability as my current job, so I was able to work while having memory problems. 

 

I don't have hallucinations any more. 

 

When you feel up to it, you could try volunteering at a local charity (animal shelter, food bank, etc.) and see how you do. That will have a lot less pressure than a paid job and you can test your ability to handle your symptoms and stress tolerance. If it goes well, perhaps you'll want to go back to your old company, but I wouldn't do that until you can tell how you'll handle it. You don't want to lose that connection for future employment by rushing in too soon. 

[Guest]

Hi Shep hi Ariel,

 

i have a question. 
tomorrow I have an appointment at the hospital for an operation. It’s a smal operation on the ear. Will this worsen my withdrawal?

 

i am really scared, it if the operation, but of the withdrawal symptoms 

[Ariel]

Hi Qq, 

I'm not a mod and don't know enough about drugs and surgeries to answer your question.

I understand your concern.

Good luck with the procedure <3 

A.

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Anything that causes extra stress on the body, for example having an argument with your partner, being unwell with a virus or infection, issues at work, financial worries, can all cause symptoms to increase.

 

And it is best to approach it and get through it like anything during withdrawal by trying to stay as calm and relaxed and accepting as possible and ride the waves of worsened symptoms using non drug coping techniques.

[Guest]

Today I feel nothing. Nothing. 
 

how this could be. This is so unfair what is happening to me right now. 
 

everyone is so attractive and living there life and I m just here feeling nothing. 
 

do you belive in Karma? Maybe Iam just a bad person. And that’s why this all is happening to me 

 

How this could be that I can function on this medication. Live life and go to work, I can watch tv like nothing happens! 
 

and this state is hell. I can’t do anything. Don’t watch tv, think, communicate, feel there is nothing 

 

I think that all my friends and my ex having plans behind my back, I think maybe they want to proof that I am crazy. Obviously I am. I do weired things. I can’t feel and talk and behave weired 

 

I am desperate 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Ariel said:

Hi Qq, 

I'm not a mod and don't know enough about drugs and surgeries to answer your question.

I understand your concern.

Good luck with the procedure ❤️

A.

 

 

Ok, i didn’t know this 🤦🏻‍♀️
 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Anything that causes extra stress on the body, for example having an argument with your partner, being unwell with a virus or infection, issues at work, financial worries, can all cause symptoms to increase.

 

And it is best to approach it and get through it like anything during withdrawal by trying to stay as calm and relaxed and accepting as possible and ride the waves of worsened symptoms using non drug coping techniques.

Tomorrow I will decide, I will talk to the doctor about  the procedure.  Because I m really scared. But also this gives me time, to stay at home and do nothing. And I can calm down. And don’t have to be functional at home. Staying up, eat just something ( for my family ) and then search for distraction is exhausting. But I don’t know if this would it worse my situation 

 

 

[Roserdl]

33 minutes ago, Quittingquentiapin said:

 

Today I feel nothing. Nothing. 
 

how this could be. This is so unfair what is happening to me right now. 
 

everyone is so attractive and living there life and I m just here feeling nothing. 
 

do you belive in Karma? Maybe Iam just a bad person. And that’s why this all is happening to me 

 

How this could be that I can function on this medication. Live life and go to work, I can watch tv like nothing happens! 
 

and this state is hell. I can’t do anything. Don’t watch tv, think, communicate, feel there is nothing 

 

I think that all my friends and my ex having plans behind my back, I think maybe they want to proof that I am crazy. Obviously I am. I do weired things. I can’t feel and talk and behave weired 

 

I am desperate 

No you are not a bad person.  It's a common withdrawal symptom that goes away in time.   It is not permanent.   I have stopped feeling completely numb and filling in.  Hang in there

[Shep]

On 7/4/2022 at 2:28 PM, Quittingquentiapin said:

Hi Shep hi Ariel,

 

i have a question. 
tomorrow I have an appointment at the hospital for an operation. It’s a smal operation on the ear. Will this worsen my withdrawal?

 

i am really scared, it if the operation, but of the withdrawal symptoms 

 

Guest, the fact that you aren't taking any medications now is good, as you won't have any drug interactions with whatever you may need for the surgery. 

 

Please take good care of yourself and let us know how you do.

 

On 7/4/2022 at 8:41 PM, Roserdl said:

No you are not a bad person.  It's a common withdrawal symptom that goes away in time.   It is not permanent.   I have stopped feeling completely numb and filling in.  Hang in there

 

 

This is very true. These feelings are withdrawal and they do fade out. Thanks for your post, Roserdl. 

[Guest]

Hi everyone, 

 

i am maybe scared to be my old self, maybe I am hiding myself so that I don’t have to take responsibility for my life? 
 

sometimes I think this was all my plan to be like this. My thoughts are scaring me a lot. 
 

maybe I wanzet to escape my reality, maybe I will be damaged my hole life. 
 

when I look back I wish I had done a therapy for my problems and everything would be fine. But know after all this medication and all the experience how should I become like that. 
 

it seems that everything happens for are reason, I was so innocent before this medication. Now I feel harmed and like I have harmed other. While I can’t handle this situation. Or other harm me because I went through all this ****. 
 

mybe i am scared from my new life, because I have the feeling that I have explain myself to others. 
 

I lost my soul completely 

 

did anyone now this. 
 

i know Someone people told me that Is all Karma, and I feel like I deserve to be like this. Because o was so ignorant and arrogant 

 

i think I just was myself, and most people like this about me. 
 

i also remember that I was really egoistic, I was a bad communicator and things like this. I think I had a personality disorder and trauma. And that is why I behave like a behaved. 
 

mybe it is Karma and I have to live that I didn’t make it in life, while other habe there breakthroughs. 
 

I wish I can turn back time when I was 24 or 29 I would handled everything so differently. An have distance myself from a lot off people. WHO has obviously lie to me a lot. Because they are happy now and where never interested to see me happy.

 

and now that I am in this state I am so in need of this people. Now that I am damaged no one is interested in me 

 

it feels like I lost my worth as the person I was. 
 

some people used to look up at me. Now everyone is looking down at me, like I am just worthless 

 

i feel like Iam going in the wrong direction and no one want to show my the right one 

 

everytime i try to figure out what is wrong. I lose touch with reality 

 

i don’t know what is really anymore and what’s not 

[Ariel]

Hi Qq,

 

7 minutes ago, Quittingquentiapin said:

My thoughts are scaring me a lot. 

 

Sometimes in withdrawal (WD) our thoughts can feel overwhelming. However, they are just thoughts. They come and go.

These thoughts are a WD symptom. They are not you. You are not your thoughts. 

 

I know it can be hard to remember this when there are so many thoughts, but try to tell yourself:

These are just thoughts. The thoughts are not me. The thoughts are just WD. 

WD is temporary. It will pass. The thoughts are temporary. They will pass. It gets better. 

 

Hang in there, Qq. You will get through this and things will look different than they do now. 

Healing is happening all the time, even when we don't consciously feel it. 

 

You are worthy. You matter. Your life matters. 

I believe in you. 

 

Sending you a big hug <3