shaft6: ADR to Paxil

[shaft6]

Hay, my name is Jernej and I come from Slovenia, so sorry for my English language in advance.

I was a binge drinker and marijuana user from 2014 which lead to anxiety attacks next days after smoking and drinking, until I realized I had to quit for good... so I stopped everything and was left with quite of a ride with high anxiety and low stress response. Things started to improve, but I had huge stress year after, when my gf left me and with still low stress intolerance and without coping skills I decided I should try AD. I went to psychiatrist and he prescribed me Zoloft (march 2018) and was ordered to raise my dose to 100 mg in few weeks. It didn't really worked as I hoped, I could sleep better, but my morning anxiety was still there. In the meantime my gf came back, I raised my dose to even 200 mg at that time following doctors orders as he believed it has to work for me. He said I could just taper in few weeks if I wasn't happy with it, and that was it, I did exactly that. If I know better that time. Well, I had some PAWS at that time for like three months, mainly some jerking legs, brain zaps and again more pronounced anxiety, but things was promising after that time. I was quite ok for more than a year, I still had some mild anxiety and low stress tolerance, but was quite happy, I could even drink some alcohol again and didn't get a kick next day. Someday in March 2020 I had car accident, and right after that I was getting some chest burning, probably high anxiety at nights so I wasn't getting enough sleep, and me idiot thought I could try something whatever my personal doc would prescribe me... so I went there and she prescribed me Paxil, as I told her I have problems sleeping and low stress tolerance. I split that 20 mg pill on half and took it before sleep and woke two hours later with panic attack and some dizziness. Next day i repeat and same result, so I stopped everything and was never the same from that day. I thought everything will settle in few days, but boy I was wrong. My gp didn't believe me one pill could do that, she prescribed me Lorazepam, which I took split pill for two days just to get some sleep. I was having anxiety attacks daily, some depression, even lower stress response, I could barely work... I had few days I was somehow better from the beginning, but I think things got worse this year. In February this year, I developed fear, I had to push myself to go to work, I started CBT, fear did lessen a bit, but now 19 months out, I am struggling even more. I did had antibiotic treatment 9 months back for stomach, two different at the same time, but didn't have difficulties with it. Well, back to this week, I developed more debilitating symptoms like pain and needles, jerking legs and arms, twitching in muscles, burning and some pain inside my limbs, anxiety through the roof, trouble sleeping, depression kicking in, moderate fatigue, can't exercise anymore, and I think I am developing some kind of intolerance for meds and some vitamins (hope it's not CMAS ). So i am really struggling at the moment, as before this week, I was sleeping better, I could exercise some, lower anxiety, no burning and pins & needles, no inner trembling, no depression and fatigue and probably no med intolerance. I was a long time lurker here, so you don't know me, but I already read probably most of yours stories, so I am familiar with your struggles too... hope u all get better soon. I already read important things, like coping with emotions (not working right now), how long this is gonna take, about kindling, abour ADR, so I am mostly covered with knowledge.

I have a question, if this is adverse reaction, why the heck I am getting worse after 19 months in? Shouldn't it be more linear healing? 😔

This is just pure torture.

Thanks for listening and your replies in advance.

[Onmyway]

Welcome to SA Jerneja and thank you for completing your signature.

 

In the last few weeks/months did you have any alcohol or other psychoactive supplement - even some vitamins can set things off. 

 

Did you have Covid even if mildly symptomatic or asymptomatic? We see it setting people back badly.

 

Any other stresses? 

 

OMW

[shaft6]

Hay, Onmyway

Thanks for reply...

I haven't had any alcohol or marijuana in more than 2 years now. I had taken man vitamin formula, with all vitamins and minerals in it, but I haven't had any problems before... now I am not so sure, I have a little upstick in my symptoms, but nothing serious for now... is this common to evolve this far out? Probably not to be worried about Mast cell activation syndrome?

I had covid three months ago, it was mildly symptomatic with some back pain and some fatigue for three days.

It's just so discouraged to had so many new symptoms 19 months out. Family just want me to seek doctors help, but I really don't want to be polydrugged for the rest of my life.

Thanks again.

[shaft6]

And no, I don't think, there were any more stresses involved as usual...

My baseline now is so fragile, do this ever return to better levels? I wish I had just pre Paxil level of stress tolerance, coz now everything is alarming to my CNS.

[Onmyway]

Hi Jernej,

This could be from Covid, we see it often these days even a couple of months out. It destabilizes the nervous system. Vitamins do that as well. Your nervous system will be sensitive for a while (possibly long while) so vitamins and drugs that others have no issues with will destabilize you. Coffee, supplements etc may do that as well.

 

Why do you think you have MCAS are you experiencing episodes of anaphylaxis or hives? If so you should seek immediate help on the ground. 

 

Because your system is sensitized, the addition of new drugs will likely make things much worse. 

 

Rest and care are what you need right now!

 

OMW

[shaft6]

Hope it's just that and that this symptoms will abate soon, coz only strong anxiety and low stress threshold was walk in the park compared to this.

No, I don't get hives, just some tingling and warm legs or arms, maybe it's not even connected, will report later when I will be sure. I was just reading somewhere that hives are not necessarily to show if u have MCAS. Well, hope it's just nothing to be concerned.

Thanks for reply, OMW, u still holding? I read your story and u still on your way to victory too? Hope that day is close for you.

[shaft6]

So, u guys think, given my history, my stress baseline can return to what it was before ADR or even stronger? Coz now it seems I will have a nervous breakdown soon,  that's how tense I am this few days. Crazy times. 😬

[shaft6]

Fatigue and ‎depression doesn"t seems to leave anytime soon. Along other symptoms now i am really struggling. 

If this is a setback of covid, than it will be even harder to get to our baselines, since we can get infected again.

And god knows, how long this setback is gonna take. 😔

[Onmyway]

On 6/4/2022 at 3:42 AM, shaft6 said:

Hope it's just that and that this symptoms will abate soon, coz only strong anxiety and low stress threshold was walk in the park compared to this.

No, I don't get hives, just some tingling and warm legs or arms, maybe it's not even connected, will report later when I will be sure. I was just reading somewhere that hives are not necessarily to show if u have MCAS. Well, hope it's just nothing to be concerned.

Thanks for reply, OMW, u still holding? I read your story and u still on your way to victory too? Hope that day is close for you.

Seems like you are catastrophizing - there are lots of explanations for warm legs and tingling other than MCAS. They're also common withdrawal symptoms.

 

I think you may benefit from learning some CBT techniques. Look up on YouTube and online. Thinking about potential future Covid doesn't help. You need to just cope with this now.

 

OMW

[shaft6]

I appreciate your response, OMW.

I did already do CBT course with psychotherapist, but mainly for my social anxiety, which i developed fully after ADR...

It"s just a thought, i know, but nevertheless we are more prone for setbacks now do we know about long covid symptoms...

We will just have to wait what tommorow brings 😬

Good luck to you

[mstimc]

1 hour ago, Onmyway said:

Seems like you are catastrophizing - there are lots of explanations for warm legs and tingling other than MCAS. They're also common withdrawal symptoms.

Onmyway is spot on, Shaft6.  I suffered from health anxiety when I was in WD and recovery; I thought all sorts of exotic diseases, but they all came back to the effect of anxiety on my body.  Once I learned to manage the anxiety and OCD, my symptoms abated.

I can reassure you that you can recover.  A key element is where you choose to focus your mental energy.  If you fixate on the negative possibilities, you leave little energy to concentrate on recovery.  I, too, struggled with this until I decided I would recover no matter how long it took and what I had to do.  It still took me a long time, but I stuck with CBT/ERP practices until I found myself able to handle the thoughts and feelings as temporary and powerless if I didn't react to them.  Its not easy and you need to be patient and forgiving with yourself, but you can do it.

[Onmyway]

2 hours ago, shaft6 said:

I appreciate your response, OMW.

I did already do CBT course with psychotherapist, but mainly for my social anxiety, which i developed fully after ADR...

It"s just a thought, i know, but nevertheless we are more prone for setbacks now do we know about long covid symptoms...

We will just have to wait what tommorow brings 😬

Good luck to you

Hi @shaft6

You don't just do CBT once though, the therapy course is to teach you how to apply the techniques for your whole life going forward.

 

I had Covid too, it was hard, I might get it again and it might be harder or easier now but the important thing is that I will deal with it if it happens. There's nothing to do before then - ruminating on it won't change a thing - might lower your body's immune system's ability to fight it because it's fighting the stress of worrying. So do you best, follow the recommendations to get vaccinated, wear a mask etc, don't go into crowded places and that's it.

 

if you ask mstimc he will tell you that he applies the CBT techniques even years after withdrawal. I do as well, during withdrawal. They will serve you well and will allow you to not fall into cycles of rumination and worry.

 

take care

Omw

[shaft6]

10 hours ago, mstimc said:

Onmyway is spot on, Shaft6.  I suffered from health anxiety when I was in WD and recovery; I thought all sorts of exotic diseases, but they all came back to the effect of anxiety on my body.  Once I learned to manage the anxiety and OCD, my symptoms abated.

I can reassure you that you can recover.  A key element is where you choose to focus your mental energy.  If you fixate on the negative possibilities, you leave little energy to concentrate on recovery.  I, too, struggled with this until I decided I would recover no matter how long it took and what I had to do.  It still took me a long time, but I stuck with CBT/ERP practices until I found myself able to handle the thoughts and feelings as temporary and powerless if I didn't react to them.  Its not easy and you need to be patient and forgiving with yourself, but you can do it.

Thanks for head up, mstimc.

I know, i am reasurring everyone around me, that my symptoms are just a reaction to that damn pill, but no one believes me.

Yes, it"s hard to fokus energy on healing when our minds are so occupied with dark thoughts and scanning our body, trying to get out of this hell as soon as possible.

But u are right, ruminating on never getting better is not a way, yet there are days when we are overhelmed hard by this thoughts.

Thanks