courier: Lexapro irritability

[courier]

It feels like there is a small part of me that I can no longer access and I want to get it back. 

 

I was put on Lexapro around two years ago for "binge drinking" by a family practice nurse practitioner. By the end of the first month they had me up to 20 mg. My drinking went down substantially because I felt dull, which I was told was the point. The few times I drank on my antidepressant, I was angry, mean, sensitive, and very sad. I've avoided this combination since. After three months of continuous use, I was tired of the blunting and discontinued for one week. During this time I experienced severe aggravation and irritability. Once I reinstated my original dose, I took this medicine sporadically: anywhere between 3 to 12 days per month. I took my medicine more earlier on, then less and less this past year. The longest I have been off my antidepressant during this period is two to three weeks, before people telling that I am being irritable (which feels like 30 to 40% of my first withdrawal's intensity). I would stop taking my antidepressant because I didn't care remembering something I don't need and hate taking. It wasn't my idea to go on Lexapro and I have since been pressured to keep taking it because those around me say I'm "worse without it." My irritability goes down when I get back on, but I feel dull and less creative. I was never irritable before I started this medicine. 

 

From 2010 to 2014, I was forced to take Concerta during high school. It made me feel like I was on speed. I stopped it because it made feel like I was a loser for "having" to take it. For about a month I felt stupid, but recovered. It reshaped my brain to be less abstract and more concrete, which upsets me. Around the same time I was taking this medication I would blank out, where I was super focused on some word or object for two to three minutes at a time. These episodes happen up to three times per week or not for a month or more. They seem to put up around the holidays or other stressful times, but do not affect me that much. There has not been any change or progression with this.

 

Nearly three and a half years ago, I was put on Accutane, but only made it one week. I had extreme aggression, manic symptoms, and my first and only suicidal thoughts. It took two weeks to make a full recovery from that. 

 

The last time I took Lexapro at 20 mg was around a week ago. Before that I had been on it around a solid week. Last night, I took a quarter of my full dose. I will take another tonight. What's the best way to go off my medicine? 

 

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm really sorry that you were force drugged while you were in high school.  That should never be done. 

 

The fact that you are taking Lexapro sporadically, and not every day, is going to cause you big problems.  This is because taking Lexapro and other antidepressants is not like taking a pain killer like ibuprofen, which just leaves your body when you no longer take it. These drugs, like Lexapro, make major and profound changes to your nervous system, which is extremely complex.  If you take the drug irregularly, it will confuse the nervous system, and cause the symptoms you describe such as irritability and aggravation.  The way to put a stop to this, is to stop taking the medication altogether, and find non drug and non alcohol ways to manage your anger and irritability.  It will take a while for your brain to adjust, and settle down from the irregular dosing schedule of the Lexapro.  Can you please tell us about how many doses of Lexapro you took in July, how many in June, how many in May, how many in April, etc, all the way through January 2022?  I want to try and see if you should just go off it altogether, or perhaps go on a low dose, and take this every day, just to get your nervous system stabilized.  Then you could taper off of this in the future, and be free of it.  

 

On 7/14/2022 at 9:00 PM, courier said:

It wasn't my idea to go on Lexapro and I have since been pressured to keep taking it because those around me say I'm "worse without it." My irritability goes down when I get back on, but I feel dull and less creative. I was never irritable before I started this medicine. 

I'm sad that people around you are pressuring you to use a drug that is not good for you.  As I said, the irritability is probably from your brain being confused and destabilized from having the drug some days, but not others.  

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and not take the drug irregularly. 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Your irritability is probably caused by your brain being destabilized from the drug, and the irregular dosing.  We call this neuro emotions.  

 

Neuro Emotions

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

When we know more about your recent history with the Lexapro, we will give you a suggestion on what to do about it. 

[courier]

Thank you for reaching out.

 

Unfortunately, I don't remember exactly how many doses I took per month. But here are some common features: I would take it one third of the time (~10 days per month) for around three to six days consecutively, then go without it for seven to ten days. 

[getofflex]

If it were me, I would just stop taking the Lexapro altogether.  Hopefully, you will find the time to read the links I posted above - if you read them, especially the first one, you will understand better why taking Lexapro irregularly like this is so hard on your nervous system.  And, the more you go on and off Lexapro, the more you put yourself at risk of kindling your nervous systems and having major problems that could take up to years to resolve.  Please don't let this happen to you. 

 

Never Skip or Miss Doses

 

Kindling

 

The irritability you describe is a result of your nervous system being destabilized.  As you do good self care practices, and stay off Lexapro and other psych drugs and other mind altering substances, your system will very gradually recover, and this irritability will decrease.  Here is a link with many techniques for self care and coping.  

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

Edited July 16, 2022 by getofflex