Emonda: 26 years on ADs. Tapering from Vortioxetine / Brintellix

[Emonda]

I value your reply, as always, @LostInCanada 😃

 

Almost 50 or 63...the years roll past so quickly, don't they?

 

Think of all that wisdom we've gained 😜 

[Carmie]

Dear @Emonda, 

 

I just want to say that you are doing such an amazing job on this site.

 

How are you doing? Sending big hugs🤗

[Emonda]

That's too kind of you, @Carmie!

 

Others before me have left very big shoes to fill. I see your encouragement on many posts; you are amazing. I read in your thread the other day you mentioned Southbank...I love that place. It's just such a nice place to sit and watch the world go past. 

 

Me, I'm plodding along and making slow progress towards the end goal. One day, I am going to write my success story. I'm really looking forward to that....but it's a few years off. It's not a race. Slow and steady...time and continued patience.

 

I am surprised how much I notice a 2% reduction each week following the Brassmonkey. I guess it's the combination of powerful drugs and the duration I have taken them, but every drop is a win, as the very wise LostinCanada said 😊

 

I love your gratitude lists. So, here goes...

1. I'm very grateful for my wife, who constantly encourages me and reminds me when I'm fragile that it's WD symptoms, and they'll pass. She's right.
2. I'm grateful for this site, and the many kind and encouraging members that look out for each other on their respective journeys. This site is a blessing to so many.

Thanks again, Carmie 😃

 

Emonda

 

[Carmie]

Hey there @Emonda, Yes, Southbank is lovely. There was a delightful breeze near the river. I like those massive big trees along the end of the footpath near the river, so much shade. Really nice on a warm day. My husband likes the Brooklyn Slice pizza and the New Zealand ice cream at Southbank🍦🍕. I love taking photos, so I’m always snapping away. The bougainvillea are really spectacular at the moment. 

 

Will look forward to reading your success story when you get there. I’m going to be tapering forever as I can only taper by about 1.5% every six to eight weeks. If I go quicker I get horrendous Akathisia. 
 

I love your gratitude list, I’m glad you’ve got a caring and supportive wife, and, yes, this site has been a blessing to so many people. I learnt how to water titrate my meds to get to smaller doses, and the encouragement from everyone has been amazing. 
 

Sending hugs to you and your wife🤗

[Emonda]

5 hours ago, Carmie said:

I can only taper by about 1.5% every six to eight weeks.

 

Progress is progress, Carmie.

 

Keep chipping away, you're doing great 👍

[Emonda]

Another month has passed, so I thought I'd post an update.

 

I'm grateful for the Brassmonkey slide. It's made this process more bearable (still unpleasant 🤨).

 

I'm surprised and not surprised at the same time how much I notice the 2% reduction each week! I get the usual three days of heightened anxiety, fear, catastrophizing, and deteriorating sleep, and then it settles.

 

I have a Garmin watch that 'measures' my sleep (apparently, it's about 80% accurate - good enough to show trends over time). When I look at a 6-month graph of my sleep, I can see patterns in my sleep that correlate with tapering and my mood. I find it interesting to reflect on.

 

I must say, the best part of the Brassmonkey slide is the two-week hold at the end. I really start to feel settled during that time. We all have life stressors, but during that holding period, sometimes I twig that something that would normally trigger me, doesn't. That feels like progress.

 

Just before I started another round of tapering last week, my wife and I looked at each other and sort of said, well, here goes. We discussed how I'd likely feel...getting ready for the mutual battle ahead, I guess.

 

Anyway, that's it from me. I'll keep chipping away.

 

Grateful for everyone here sharing their journey.

 

 

 

[Poppy745]

13 hours ago, Emonda said:

Another month has passed, so I thought I'd post an update.

 

I'm grateful for the Brassmonkey slide. It's made this process more bearable (still unpleasant 🤨).

 

I'm surprised and not surprised at the same time how much I notice the 2% reduction each week! I get the usual three days of heightened anxiety, fear, catastrophizing, and deteriorating sleep, and then it settles.

 

I have a Garmin watch that 'measures' my sleep (apparently, it's about 80% accurate - good enough to show trends over time). When I look at a 6-month graph of my sleep, I can see patterns in my sleep that correlate with tapering and my mood. I find it interesting to reflect on.

 

I must say, the best part of the Brassmonkey slide is the two-week hold at the end. I really start to feel settled during that time. We all have life stressors, but during that holding period, sometimes I twig that something that would normally trigger me, doesn't. That feels like progress.

 

Just before I started another round of tapering last week, my wife and I looked at each other and sort of said, well, here goes. We discussed how I'd likely feel...getting ready for the mutual battle ahead, I guess.

 

Anyway, that's it from me. I'll keep chipping away.

 

Grateful for everyone here sharing their journey.

 

 

 

Thank you for your update @Emonda Keep chipping away. You are doing an amazing job. I seem to be struggling to stablize. After a really good start after reinstatement it seems to have gone all over the place since. Downing my dose by 5% helped the physical side, after getting akathasia but gosh the intrusive thougths and anxiety are awful!! (They were bad before as well, but now seem more regular) Your journey gives me hope that things will improve. I wish I had known about WD before heading into CT. I wish you well for your taper this week and going forward. Stay strong. 

[LostInCanada]

@Emonda good to hear you are still moving forward. Check out Cheeky and Greatful. They are doing very small reductions every 1-3 days and it seems to be working well for them. Maybe that would lessen symptoms with still decent overall reductions. Cheeky has been working with Mark Horowitz on the schedule.

[LostInCanada]

@Emonda sorry to hear you have covid. Be kind to yourself and try to relax even if you feel okay. My daughter is doing really well. Next check up is July. What a relief. Life is so precious - good to be grateful for all the small daily things.💯 Each day is closer to being healed. Thanks for asking 

[Emonda]

It’s been a while since I have posted an update, so here goes...

 

In mid-December, I decided to pause my taper for a full month, given that the Christmas period can be stressful, combined with some international travel/jetlag.

 

After clearing the Christmas hurdle, it was a wonderful month, and I felt really good. No WD symptoms, just nice and calm. “Normal”, whatever that is.

 

Since returning home, I waited 4 days before deciding to recommence my taper. Jetlag seemed fine and under control.

 

Two days after a 2% reduction, COVID paid me a visit, and a few days after that, I was expected back at work. I felt rattled for a few days, but I’ve turned the corner, and things will continue to improve with time. 

 

My next target to aim for is sub 2mg. That will feel special 🙂

 

Wishing you all well on your journey.

[Emonda]

8 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

My daughter is doing really well. Next check up is July. What a relief.

 

Wonderful news!

 

8 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

Each day is closer to being healed.

 

100%, LostinCanada. As you said, every drop is a win 🤗

[LostInCanada]

8 hours ago, Emonda said:

“Normal”, whatever that is.

Some types of normal are definitely overrated lol

8 hours ago, Emonda said:

COVID paid me a visit,

Never a dull moment. Are you vaccinated? Or do you still get them? I am in the fence. I have had 2 shots prior to cold turkey and 1 during CT. Wondering if the novavax is a better way to go or nothing.

8 hours ago, Emonda said:

I’ve turned the corner

Excellent

8 hours ago, Emonda said:

next target to aim for is sub 2mg. That will feel special 🙂

Amazing. Definitely something to be proud of. It's hard to believe we are all balancing this medical crisis without the profession that promises to care for our wellbeing. Good for you to get to this point. 💯👍🙏

[Emonda]

On 1/26/2024 at 3:52 AM, LostInCanada said:

Are you vaccinated? Or do you still get them? I am in the fence. I have had 2 shots prior to cold turkey and 1 during CT. Wondering if the novavax is a better way to go or nothing.

 

I had the first two but had dreadful heart pain for the following ~10 days on both occasions, so I stopped after that.

 

I think I declared my COVID recovery a little early; I seemed to go back downhill again. I think I'm picking up now....hopeful it'll be behind me soon.

 

As to my 2mg goal, the virus certainly flared the WD up! 2mg seems a long way away today, but every drop is a win. 

[LostInCanada]

10 hours ago, Emonda said:

think I declared my COVID recovery a little early

Sorry to hear. Better to baby yourself a bit for now. 2.28 mg is a huge win. 🎉

[Emonda]

I've reached my next milestone of less than 2mg = 1.9mg 🎉.

 

 I did drop 9.1% for the month versus my usual 8% to get below the 2mg goal. Reaching my two-week holding period at what would have been 2.01mg seemed a pity, hence the additional amount to drop below 2mg. Let's see how that extra 1.1% goes 🙏

 

I often reflect on ChessieCat's comment that we should look at how far we've come rather than how far we have to go. Thanks to the wisdom of so many on this site, I've come a long way from the starting dose of 15mg.

 

Only 12 months ago, things were very, very tough...time and patience.

 

Next goal = 1.5mg.

 

Wishing you all well on your journey.

 

 

[LostInCanada]

So proud of how far you have come @Emonda. One day I'll catch up lol.

Time to celebrate.🎈🎉

[Emonda]

Thank you, LostinCanada.

 

My wife and I are very grateful for your support and encouragement 🤗

 

24 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

Time to celebrate.🎈🎉

 

Once upon a time, I would have had a beer 🍻 to celebrate...not now. Haven't touched alcohol in 12 months. Don't miss it either.

 

17 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

One day I'll catch up lol.

 

As I know you know, it's not a race to zero for either of us, and every drop is a win.

 

I've read much about Paroxetine, and by the grace of God, I was given something else...although my experience on Sertraline and Escitalopram were pretty rotten years back!

 

Keep chipping away, my friend. You're making progress too 🎉

[Carmie]

Good morning Emonda,

 

How have you been doing?💛

[Emonda]

That's very kind of you to check in on me, @Carmie. I appreciate you asking 🤗

 

Since my last drop, my tinnitus has been annoying. It's been there for years, just much louder for the last few weeks. It'll calm down eventually.

 

I had a less pleasant day yesterday with some other mild WD symptoms, but today is a new day. Time and patience are my allies.

 

It's been wonderful to have you back on the site. You're such a warm and encouraging person...thank you. 

 

Emonda 

[LostInCanada]

@Emonda has the tinnitus settled down? Hope you have been getting some downtime. Doing nothing and letting the body heal is so vital. We live in a world that is so busy and always demanding so much attention. Sometimes it's hard to give yourself permission to not achieve anything. 

[Emonda]

5 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

has the tinnitus settled down?

 

Unfortunately, the tinnitus persists, but I'm doing my best to accept it and move forward. My wife and kids are understanding - I try not to complain too much 😬 

 

Other than that, however, I'm doing well. Just chipping away very slowly, crawling through this marathon.

 

Thank you for asking.

 

6 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

We live in a world that is so busy and always demanding so much attention. Sometimes it's hard to give yourself permission to not achieve anything. 

 

So true. Sunday brings me rest and Joy.

 

Thanks for being such a kind and compassionate encourager 😊