collegekid123: Introduction, and how long does it take to get better?

[collegekid123]

Hi Everyone,

 

I'm a college kid, and was on zoloft (100mg) for 1.5 years before I tapered off and has been off since March 2023. Zoloft did save my life as I struggled with PTSD before coming to college. Once I was stabilized on zoloft, I felt like I was out of the woods. But no, the tapering process has been a different hell. I experienced the worst withdrawal symptoms about 5 weeks since my last dose. This didn't help either especially I'm still at school. Last semester, I took two literature courses for my major, and ended up dropping one and almost failing another. During my finals period, I couldn't do anything and was on the verge of failing until I opened up about my struggle (but in a very unfortunate way) to my professor and now I think she is really hesitant to have me as a student. Literature/books used to be my favorite thing in the world, now I couldn't even understand what is happening on the page. I am scared that the withdrawal is damaging me, and I am scared I won't be able to heal in time to catch up with the requirements, and will eventually fail college altogether, and I am not sure what to do.

 

I am about 3.5 months since my last dose, and I think I have been through the worst possible phase of withdrawal; however, I am still experiencing a type of despair/depression that I have never experienced before, and even though there were windows and waves that I have noticed, I am very scared about my future. I know that alongside of this depression is this nagging sense that something (spiritually) is wrong with me, and I have been trying to get back in touch with my inner life, but it's been very hard. I still have 2 years left at college, and as an international student from a poor family, I have worked very hard to get to where I am, and I don't have an alternative (transfer/taking a leave of absence bc of my scholarship). I just want to know for those experiencing zoloft withdrawal, how long does it take? especially for those who are still college students, how are you dealing with it, with all the uncertainty, the griefs of letting go some of the stuff that you so aspire?

Edited July 5, 2023 by manymoretodays
name to topic title

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @collegekid123

 

I am sorry that you have protracted withdrawal syndrome. Which symptoms have gotten better? What are your most prominent symptoms now?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[collegekid123]

Hi @Altostrata,

 

I could not fully put it into words, but my (insufficient) attempt would be during my acute withdrawal, I had terrible brain zaps, and cognitive impairment to the point I could not string words, sentences together (hence unable to finish my assignments in time, if not comprehend them at all), and constant bouts of crying ( I would be crying every night unaware what is happening in my body). Now, most of that have subsided, there were lows and depression that I have NOT experienced before ( especially in the morning when I wake up I was overwhelmed by these thoughts about my past and I'm not deserving, etc etc), but there were also short period of stabilization. I'm working my way through gradually, taking fish oil and magnesium  which I noticed has helped tremendously. I'm just scared of the periods that were super lows - I regarded them as the void bringing me back to unresolved childhood traumas, but sometimes it's intimidating going there.

 

 

[Altostrata]

Yes, that sounds like classic acute withdrawal syndrome segueing into protracted withdrawal.

 

But it does sound like you are recovering naturally, in The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Hang in there, recovery is slow and very gradual. The bad spells should less intense and shorter. Symptoms come and go and change into other symptoms. You might want to look at these topics.

 

Many people find these to be helpful:

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

You might try a low dose of one at a time to see what it does for you.

 

Please let us know how you're doing. 

 

[collegekid123]

Thank you @Altostrata

[Emonda]

Congratulations on your success story, @collegekid123, and being 12 months clear of ADs.

 

As is the custom, I will now lock your introduction thread.

 

Best wishes, Emonda