mom2mkld Posted September 19, 2023 Share Posted September 19, 2023 There is no meaning. I have been suffering for years. My family would be better off without me. I cannot bare this anymore. I try every morning. I am not making it. I have failed at life and at tapering. everything. It's been a long time with no relief. completely isolated alone. I would not want to be around me either. I don't want to be around me. this is awful psychiatry has ruined my life. I have tried and tried and tried and everything. what am I missing. I cannot go on started with xanax in 1997 for panic attacks and now look what has happened Current drugs: 1- Klonopin:2013 started 4mg....2017 went to 3mg....been working on tapering ever since. Klonopin 09-18-2023: 2.78mg daily 2- Lexapro: not sure when I started 20mg but cut to 10mg in 2017. Stayed at 10 until 08-19-2023 I reduced 5% to 9.5mg too big cut due to death wish so now I just file a tiny bit with nail file but have been doing so poorly that I went back to 10mg as of 09-18-2023. Other drugs pushed on me for 26 years that I no longer take: xanax from 1997-2013 when it was switched out to 4mg klonpin, remeron, cymbalta, zyprexa, celexa, serzone, brintellix(now I think it is called trintellix), effexor, prozac, trazadone, abilify, wellbutrin, ritalin, seroquel, latuda, pristiq, ambien, paxil, zoloft, vistaril, vyvanse, lamictal, cogentin, rexulti, and more that I do not even remember. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted September 19, 2023 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 19, 2023 Hi mom2mkld! So good to see you back. I did move your second post to your Introduction so we can work there with you. And please do hold on tight. Look through the topics in this section where you posted, as likely you may find something inspirational to give hope and keep you going strong. I'm sure hoping this moment, when you posted, has passed and that you got some sleep, and found something that gives you hope and helps you feel better about yourself. You have not failed. Not at all. I may be able to find you a topic here later that helps you turn your thinking around a bit. From what I recall you are a constant giver in life and with your family members. That does not speak of failure to me! (((((mom2mlkd))))))) L, P, H, and G, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Pidgeon Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 “We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—hourly and daily. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to its problems and to fulfill the task which it constantly sets for each individual.” ― Viktor Frankl “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring Two most profound quotes about meaning, in my opinion. Hope you like it. ╔═════════════╤════════════╤══════════╤═════╤═════╤══════════════╤═════╤═════╤══════════╤════════════╤═════╤═════╤═════╤═════╤═════╤═════╤═════╤═════╤═════╤═════╗ ║ Name │ Brand name │ 2022 Jun │ Jul │ Aug │ Sept │ Oct │ Nov │ 2023 Jan │ Feb │ Mar │ Apr │ May │ Jun │ Jul │ Aug │ Sep │ Oct │ Nov │ Dec ║ ╠═════════════╪════════════╪══════════╧═════╧═════╧══════════════╧═════╧═════╧══════════╧════════════╧═════╧═════╧═════╧═════╧═════╧═════╧═════╧═════╧═════╪═════╣ ║ Olanzapine │ Zyprexa │ 15 │ 15 ║ ╟─────────────┼────────────┼──────────┬─────┬─────┬──────────────┬──────────────────────┬────────────┬─────┬─────┬─────┬───────────────────────────────────┼─────╢ ║ Sertraline │ Zoloft │ - │ - │ - │ -> 25 -> 50 │ 50 │ -> 25 -> 0 │ - │ - │ - │ 50 │ 50 ║ ╟─────────────┼────────────┼──────────┴─────┴─────┴──────────────┴───────────┬──────────┼────────────┴─────┼─────┴─────┴─────┬─────┬─────┬─────────────────┼─────╢ ║ Pregabalin │ Lyrica │ 300 │ 225 │ 300 │ 225 │ 150 │ 0 │ - │ - ║ ╟─────────────┼────────────┼──────────────────────┬──────────────┬───────────┴──────────┴──────────────────┴─────────────────┴─────┴─────┴─────────────────┼─────╢ ║ Amisulpride │ Solian │ 200 │ -> 100 -> 50 │ 0 │ - ║ ╚═════════════╧════════════╧═════════════════════════════════════╧══════════════════════╧════════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════╝ Suppl: D3 2000UI, B Complex, Magnesium, Fish oil Link to comment
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