Boges11: Please need help /thougts

[Boges11]

Please  help. Very insane situation and still can’t believe this happened bc I took my K taper so carefully and knew all what to stay away from, persevered thru hell and was get myself back and functionality, love feeling and joy towards end of it. Had sleep come back to 5-6hrs taking .5mg gummy kid melatonin only after last few yrs at 0-3hrs. 

 

4 mos off Klonopin 3 ye taper, 2 months of psych hospital hell all the med changes, 3 days into now Covid positive and all the neuro symptoms ramped up that day. Not sure if it also is Mirtazapine neurotoxicity bc I’m reacting badly after taking now…. Didn’t in psych hospital. 

All beta blockers trialed one time in in First psych place- early to mid Nov. 

Statin for 10 days 

Thorazine hell shot unreal the feeling of soul leaving body and screaming for hours

Haldol not sure 

So many stomach things to contstipate me and then have diarrhea

Melatonin 3mg for 8 days

Atarax varied 100mg for 10 days

Depakote 250-500mg for 10 days and then Cold turkey

Lipitor on and off I kept trying to refuse

2nd- 11/26-12/5

Mirtazapine 7.5mg 10 days

Atarax 25mg-50mg / daY

Others no idea bc they wouldn’t tell me what was being given 

Lipitor Statin for 10 days

 

3rd place 12/6-12/18

Statin for a few days then I refused bc I knew never to be in one and might thought tgey weee lying about high cholesterol and going against list of what I couldn’t have (now know Mirtazapine has made it high in a matter of 1 wks being on!! Unreal)

Mirtazapine 7.5mg for 4 days then 15mg for 4 days then back to 7.5mg

Ect twice- and anastesia propofol ketamine and muscle relaxer (I know, I was at wits end for akathisia and last effort)

metaprolol 2 days

Atarax data and some night- 25-50mg

Melatonin 2-3 nights 3mg 

No idea if put stuff in water and food

I'm beyond freaking out as intense panic in gut twisting and turning having jolts in gut. This is all so so so hard.
I’ve had 120+ symptoms they K taper so I’m used to persevering through hell, but had been recovering pretty well towards lower doses with anbout 10 symptoms per day varying but predictable ….all hell broke loose at .018mg. Acute was horrific stuck in dark closet for 6-8 weeks as my eyes hurt so bad and akathisia ramped up with any light.

then hell began bc I had to go to ER m, ended up in 3 paych hospitals bc of SI and all hell since then.

back home now, have covid day 3 that skyrocketed my synproms and now I can’t figure out what this is what’s. had covid pretty bad in Swpt 2022 but recovered in a few weeks, still on .12mg  K at that point .

Severe body clenching and eye pain and now now Mirtazapine is very drying and can cause eye problems and so freaking out. Had to come off 1 wk Elavil in 2021 bc of eye color changes and 6 wks of hell followed but was still on K at that point. 

the akathusua is my biggest hardest thing and how it affects so much. I know I made mistakes here recently and went against everything I knew not to take but I was forced to bc I they out in my IV water or forced to take tablets. 
I had all written out what couldn’t tKe and my family had that and we gave to hospitals and psych places and the nurses and staff intentionally wanted to screw me up more bc I was a ‘broken Betty’ with the akathisia and they didn’t get the aka. They psychologically also put me thru hell to get me to break completely…. I was terrorized.

 

Laying still now body extreme vibration buzzing internally clenching involuntarily jolting involuntarily, 
This can happen with covid remeron and Klonopin but I've not had it had this severe before. I am unable to lay really. It’s like my brain is screaming inside and I want to scream running…. Again had this to a degree during K taper but not constant. Want to scrape face off, yank eyes out. During acute K I was pulling hair literally out bc aka was so so bad and pulling skin and scraping face. All stuff I couldn’t control. So heartbreaking for me bc I didn’t want to be doing it. I repeat same things over and over fast all day long. Rock at times, just disaster.
I already have my body attack my thyroid with hashimotos, I'm susceptible to autoimmune issues and now all of this.

My body is on fire internally 30min-2hes after taking 7.5mg Mirtazapine at 9-10pm. Body starts jolting and extreme RLS, eyeballs start shaking and try to roll back in head. Chest pain and heart pain, intense mental akathisia. Stomach rolling.

At some point of fallen asleep and then awaken to nightmare and extreme panic chest. Bottom clenching pressure and internal walls on own. It's horrendous feeling. Stomach same. 97lbs. But eat 
The feeling your being uncomfortable tickled on bones and organs can't do anything to stop it- akathisia. Want to pull everything apart.

Can't close eyes during day bc they burn and hurt so badly, pressure and akathisia behind them. Just dart open and so much burning pain and I've tried 3 eye drops types today. 
 

Can't even take 15mg armour without severe reaction when I was doing ok at 30mg. Normal amount is 75but was too stimulating initially coming off K so de said I could take lower but now TSh is a 10, yet can’t do much. Vitamin issues d is like 11 3 mo ago, b12 is under 300, I know this is horrendous souls but vitamins stimulated me and I clumsy be outside due ri eye issues.

 

Please help with any encouragement and what talk might think about the Mirtazapine. I’m so angry I’m on this bc it’s not helping and here I persevered thru K taper whole time saying I’d never get back on anything after. they were going to do lithium at place and I said well some people have had ok time with Mirtazapine for akathisia bc I was terrified of lithium. So total of a month being on, changed bransa a week ago coming home bc didn’t know brand from hospital and my pharmacy gave what that thought . I am devastated annd have been and  to survive minute to minute. This is like worst horror story I could ever imagine and my family is overwhelmed (live with brother who can’t handle much of this anymore after 3 1/2 years ) parents are a basket case and in 70s so they just can’t have all the stress I’m putting on them.

 
I’ll try to edit with help later bc eyes are hurting so bad and  body jolting about.

 

K march 2020 after  in hospital with covid type symptoms and antibiotic rash-adverse reaction. Told had severe anxiety and Gad disnt know better had never had any of anxiety in 37 yrs.

.75mg tapered to .005mg in Aug 2023

 

Will update more later 

Edited December 26, 2023 by Emonda
Name to title

[Boges11]

Any help for if anyone can decipher what mirt is dking to me? Not sure if neurotoxic or what at this point….trying to grasp all peoples threads but severely eye issues and aka and teeeifued ever second. Not sure what next step should be. Thanks so much and how these on here have gotten better.

 

[LotusRising]

Hi @Boges11,

 

It sounds like you've been through really a lot of drug changes, starting with covid-related symptoms? It sounds like your nervous system is really destabilized due to both covid and all the additional drugs. This is a common knee-jerk reaction by doctors, but really doesn't serve us well. 

 

What was the reason for starting you on medication?

 

Can you please confirm exactly what you're taking right now, and for how long?

 

We have a couple topics here on covid. Maybe something will resonate with you:

 

 

 

[Boges11]

Thanks. Initially was told to go to the hospital in March 2020 when I had extreme nausea and some other symptoms. My doctor thought was Covid and it was early stages of that. They trialed me on a Thanks. Initially was told to go to the hospital in March 2020 when I had extreme nausea and some other symptoms my doctor thought was Covid and it was early stages of that. They trialed me on an antibiotic which I reacted adversely to with some rashes and tongue swelling, and I had a panic attack that night cause I was alone in the hospital didn’t know what it was at the time. After a week in the hospital and negative Covid test came back doctor told me I need to follow up with psychiatrist because I had panic disorder. I didn’t know any better at the time that one panic attack wasn’t panic disorder but anyway, so I was clueless and just followed orders. Saw a psychiatrist and got put on , Lexapro and Klonopin and that started my whole ordeal since March 20 20. Prior to that I never had any a , Lexapro and Klonopin and that started my whole ordeal since March 20 20. Prior to that I never had any anxiety problems. Any panic attacks no depression no mental health problems nothing for 37 years of my life and then didn’t know any better that one panic attack I really shouldn’t have sought out helpful.
 

Lexapro made me extremely depressed like had zero emotion told my doctor he said well what do you want me to do about it so I switched doctors then said after seven weeks of being on Klonopin I wanted to taper off the tapered me too quickly initially I didn’t know any better. I was just again falling what doctor said, cause I just have always trusted them forever and then  I spiraled and had zero sleep so sick to my stomach and was in the ER for fluids got put on medicine for sleep because that’s what I thought. OK I should do instead of trying to write out the insomnia because I was trying to work, and then got spiraled through various medication‘s because I was having  still residual withdrawal symptoms from the Klonopin drop initially and I didn’t know that all the doctors thought it was the new meds that I was put on for sleep so got on and tapered off pretty quickly each of those even though my doctor said I could just drop them I knew better. was just a mess.

 

March 2021 is when I restarted my Klonopin taper and had found information online. Was on zero other medication at this point and stayed this way all the way until August 2023, when I finished my slow taper of Klonopin and jumped at .005 mg. Had severe acathisia and was in a closet for eight weeks because my eyes couldn’t be in any light because they hurt so badly in any stimulation from the light worse.

unfortunately made a very poor choice and ended up in the hospital in November and then got sent to a psych hospital because they didn’t understand acathisia and they had tortured me in there when I was unfortunately in a ton of pain and told them I couldn’t take any medication and anything that they wanted to trial on  me and put the medication in my IV anyway and it was a disaster…

. I couldn’t refuse and they made me just a psychological torture the whole time I was there just trying all kinds of ways to get me to break. It was really really terrifying..

 

November 2023 – regular hospital, and then psych hospital number one we’re various meds put in my food and water and then shots given left on Depakote which I stopped a few days later because it was making me so sick. No meds at this point then back at home.

 

Tried Pcykosybin and horrific  -End of November early December 2023 – psych hospital number two where I was started on mirtazapine 7.5 mg and it didn’t show any big benefit to sleep, but it did start making me so hungry yet I’ve had severe stomach issues So this was pretty miserable because my stomach was so sick yet I was so hungry given the medication. Been under 100lbs since Aug.

switched after 10 days to another psych hospital to try ECT because I was told that might be helpful for acathisia. I know I know better but I was at my wits end. They weren’t gonna let me go home anyway. 

12 days here in December I was at that hospital and did the ECT a couple times with the anesthesia cocktail propofol some milk relaxant and ketamine. I said I only want profile but they did not do that. They said they had to do what they had planned. made me go up to 15 mg on the mirtazapine for four or five days not sure and then I started coming back in the bathroom to 7 1/2 mg and that’s what I’ve been on since I got home on December 18.
I, had severe chest pain and body feeling like it was gonna blackout sweating heart pain when I was in the hospital during day abd and RLS and jolts at night and the doctor said that’s not the medication and then was ok a couple nights. So I didn’t stop it at all in the hospital which I wish I would have because it didn’t give me any benefit that was substantial. I just didn’t want to get in any more targeting where they would try to give me other various medication’s and they were trying to scare me a patient saying they were going to beat me up and saying things that I have been scared of previously about medication effects. Me trying to look out for myself with medication‘s made everybody target me because they felt like they knew better because they were the medical staff.

 

I’ve been so psychologically traumatized. I really don’t even know how that kind of exist right now. this past Saturday my anxiety went through the roof, a chemical anxiety like complete chest clenching everything so severe just in a complete complete panic, which I kinda felt when I got Covid last year(I had it for a couple weeks and a lot more anxiety, chem anxiety, but this dissipated after a few weeks)

so I took a Covid test Sat and I was positive.

Everything from Saturday has been mayhem when I take the 7.5 mg mirtazapine at night and when I take my thyroid medication. That acathisia gets really bad and I at night have all kinds of horrible symptoms an hour after taking mirtazapine. My eyes start trying to roll back in my head. My heart hurts so bad and my chest squeezes and my legs are in so much pain. I also have my whole body heat up like it’s on fire inside…  lights flashing with my eyes closed and like floaters with my eyes closed that are like yellow and just really awful eye pain now 24 seven. I had a lot of neurological issues with my Klonopin taper, but I managed through it through the years as I was going this just has gotten so intense and unbearable and it’s hard to know if I should start tapering the mirtazapine at all because I’m having an adverse or neurotoxic reaction to it or if it’s a combination of having gone up to 15 mg for a few days and back to seven and then changing the brand when I came home on top of having Covid and then all the crap that I’ve gone through for the last few months coming off the Klonopin and then the subsequent crazy mess of medication’s.

 

I have thyroid problems already. I had adrenal problems that started with the Klonopin fiasco. I had numerous other hormonal issues that started with Klonopin. The only thing prior to being put on medication in March 2020 was having Hashimoto’s and otherwise I was a completely healthy person no health issues manage my thyroid issue with thyroid medication every day and was completely fine.

 

So my health has been completely destroyed yet. I was getting it back in the spring of this year as I got lower on Klonopin and I was becoming more functional. My G.I. was improving. My thyroid numbers were back getting in range. My cortisol for adrenals was getting better I was getting sleep again not taking anything but it’s a little sliver of melatonin gummy and then as soon as I got off of the Klonopin, even though I went so , slow as I was thinking was slow, I crashed so hard which was devastating. I still don’t understand what made me such severe acathisia maybe the cuts of .01 mg for 15 months caught up to me by I thought I was going slow enough. Unfortunately, it caught up to me at the very end and I thought it was acute withdrawal and so I just kept going at the very end lower to jump off  at .005 mg. 
 

Each place my parents had given the detail of what medicines I was not to take because I knew better than to take anything else having been on a benzo and come off of it and that worked against me because that’s what each hospital then used  to try to get me to break. Unfortunately remember everything and now I am so terrified because I’ve been in three psych hospitals total given my mental state has been so bad and my family doesn’t know what to do akathisia so severe just relentless 24 seven pulling hair out, scraping face, just slamming legs into the wall. I pain so severe that I have to keep my eyes closed yet they don’t want to stay closed and they start trotting around.. It’s just been so brutal
 

I’m talking to type so hope all this makes sense… Basically I don’t know what to do about the mirtazapine whole body is vibrating, tingling, very uncomfortable hurting than all the jolting which is horrific because it’s like shocks like I’ve had the hypnic jolt before and but this is like so uncomfortable like send me into orbit feeling and on top of the internal and external acathisia mental acathisia just horrific and extreme panic chemical panic. Not sure if it’s Covid. ‘
 

just devastated because I got off the Klonopin and knew not to take anything else and then all this happened. I don’t know how to handle this mirtazapine situation, because I am very very fragile in all kinds of ways and yet if it’s making me worse and drying out my eyes severely and causing the eye issues and causes further stomach health problems, and the jolts etc,  I’m destabilzed after the benzo make the wrong decision and make my acathisia worse and then be going on days and days of no sleep and complete panic. I have lots of other symptoms that I manage and just what it is.
 

just trying to understand if anybody has any clue on how to identify something is adverse neurotoxic and you need to come off no matter what or if you should try to wait a little bit and test negative for Covid and then try to approach a slow taper off mirtazapine… I just so badly want to do the right thing in this situation because of how severe and critical this is.I know no one can give me the answer but just if anyone else has identified what they needed to do because it’s really hard for me to read all the stories and understand and my brain is so fried yet I’m trying to take it all in and not get terrified by everybody else’s stories, and then my own, I’m sure it is, everything my body is just having a very, very tough time. I’m terrified because I cannot end up anywhere else.
Thank you so much for any insight on how to handle this.

[LotusRising]

Ok, so your situation sounds a little complicated, but let's try to break it down.

 

20 hours ago, Boges11 said:

March 2021 is when I restarted my Klonopin taper and had found information online.

 

When you restarted the klonopin taper, were you stable - did you have any symptoms at this time?

 

20 hours ago, Boges11 said:

Had severe acathisia and was in a closet for eight weeks because my eyes couldn’t be in any light because they hurt so badly in any stimulation from the light worse.

 

This happened following the klonopin taper?

 

What times o'clock do you take your mirtazapine and thryoid medication? And to be clear, this is all you take?

 

 

 

 

[Boges11]

Yes I was very stable restarting K taper March 2021, some symptoms but was sleeping, eating decent etc. had Covid shot April and the 2nd one was hard for a few days, but then ok.

however lots of symptoms going forward bc I was going faster than realized so fall had to slow a bit and then crashed Feb ‘22.  Held for couple months and helped aka subside. Bed bound most of year. Changed to compound liquid summer ‘22 and slowed to .01mh a month for last .16mg and got better as I went down. So much like my old self this spring even though sick I was functional and enjoying life somewhat. Had joy and happy in my heart even though tough 

 

Yes akathisia was every other day but I was comatose feel couldn’t move an inch the other day and had to lay like a statue, was sleeping a bit on off night, but just pretty severe acute…. Third week aka became relentless non stop pulling hair knocking legs side to side in closet, screaming and just awful non stop nerve pain. Eyes had to keep close bc hurt so bad and got basically no sleep maybe 20-30min every couple days.  Nothing everyone else took worked for me, just made me tap dance start jumping singing etc the one doses I tried. Tried psyllocybin mushroom and that about did me in I wanted to cut my face off and was pulling hair out. I’ve never tried anything in my life before all this and I know this is natural but ceap it was hell.

 

then made mistake I did and started the further hell….. meds given in psych hospitals, trying etc twice , so under can’t believe I did this but was hoping it would help some, so anesthesia, t who knows what they gave me a few times and yes have now been on 7.5mh Mirtazapine since 11/26 with maybe 5 days to to 15 bc they forced full pull and then back to 7.5mg in bathroom bc I didn’t want the 15. They gave ropinorole a couple times a Parkinson’s med but I stopped it.

 

Tested positive for Covid Saturday and that’s when insane chemical anxiety has started and severe symptoms early morning. A few times within the hour of taking I have body horrible internal burning eyes trying to roll back in head and shaking, intense hypnoc jolts, hate them, and then extreme rls. But I have slept a few hrs which I needed. The hunger pains and scraping feeling in stomach is awful and have pressure every inch of body some nights and during day that is intense…. Buzzing and vibrating burning and twitching happens most of day but lest of worries. 
i will have brother type in what goes on each day.

 

im scared out of my mind bc i feel every second ptsd from psych hospitals, 

 

 

 

 

[LotusRising]

6 minutes ago, Boges11 said:

Yes akathisia was every other day but I was comatose feel couldn’t move an inch the other day and had to lay like a statue, was sleeping a bit on off night, but just pretty severe acute…. Third week aka became relentless non stop pulling hair knocking legs side to side in closet, screaming and just awful non stop nerve pain. Eyes had to keep close bc hurt so bad and got basically no sleep maybe 20-30min every couple days.  Nothing everyone else took worked for me, just made me tap dance start jumping singing etc the one doses I tried. Tried psyllocybin mushroom and that about did me in I wanted to cut my face off and was pulling hair out. I’ve never tried anything in my life before all this and I know this is natural but ceap it was hell.

 

When did all this start? During your k taper, after covid, or after you started mirtazapine?

 

9 minutes ago, Boges11 said:

bc they forced full pull and then back to 7.5mg in bathroom

 

I also want to point out that it's your body, so you get to choose what goes in to it.

 

You haven't been on the mirtazapine very long. Is it helping you at all? 

[Boges11]

@LotusRising That was after K taper about 3 wks after jump.

i couldn’t refuse bc they gave me hell and threatened shots if I did and put stuff in my food bc I kept trying to refuse Lipitor. I was there involuntarily and they had other patients taunting me and turning my room lights on in middle of night to keep me up saying they were going to kill me…they told me the 15mg pill was 7.5mg after ‘rechecking’. It was still the 15mg.

So I was so terrified I then started going to bathroom to split the last few days. 
I can’t gauge what it’s helping bc I feel so badly …. I guess I’m getting some sleep but that is how this all started and continued bc dr said med for sleep was fine low dose. 
I finally got my normal sleep back this spring after no other meds since early 2021 and here I am again on something that is likely causing the chest pain eye pain heart stiff stiff and now severe chemical anxiety mornings….i didn’t have this stuff 4 wks ago but I know benzo wd stuff is up and down. The movement stuff is getting more twisting of stomach and back arched up and down pulling face… different a bit so not sure if it’s covid or mirt reaction or both. Didn’t have this really much in hospital. Had pacing and legs back and forth laying down. Stiff neck started with mirt a week into, chest pain and rls in calves
 

My symptoms sometimes get better towards night and then a little sleep and then ut depends how things go if I feel worse or better after taking Mirt at 9:30ish.

 

[Boges11]

medication

 

 

12/26/23

Took 7.5 mg mirtazapine at 9:30 PM. 

-RLS started within 30 minutes eye pain decrease some acathisia and twisting and stomach issues. Decrease some buzzing all over continued

Fell asleep at not sure what time dreams, hard to sleep on the side because of neck stiffness and pain, never had this before, except it started once I started mirtazapine.

-woke up close to 4 o’clock late awake trying to fall asleep and had racing thoughts, chemical anxiety, severe started around 5 AM extreme chemical, anxiety and burning in chest and stomach. Flipping around and rolling legs hurting really bad, intense panic, feeling, pressure, all body feeling like someone’s blowing me up like a balloon, but really a lot more intensely felt like someone is carving my stomach and carving my brain out shortness of breath toss and lots of heart skipped beats fell asleep for a few minutes here and there, and would have chemical terror waking up hypnic jolts all over which make it so uncomfortable then leads to hypnic jolts in my legs, but then also that feeling all over body clench

10am- Took 30 mg of armor thyroid medicine at breakfast, which is the same every morning scrambled eggs boiled chicken and frozen wild blueberries.

 anxiety and symptoms less tense. 

11am-put laundry in trying to just pick up a few things in my room quite difficult just with dizziness and ice started hurting and burning sinuses started burning really badly buzzing feet nauseated, and crummy flu feeling neck tendon pain that’s all back more intensely lay down did a few things on my phone again very difficult. I have to have sunglasses on and in the dark room, 

12pm-1pmenter irritable, very off-balance, scared weak, stomach pressure is always an issue all the time every day got lunch together from brother, green beans, chicken, and sweet potatoes, which is the same every day sometimes unsweetened applesauce sometimes just a regular baked potato and carrots with chicken

3pm- bloodwoek appt- severe neck tension, pain stiffness migraine sinuses are burning and hurts so bad eye pain is really severe.

 4pm- home, really sick feeling really nauseous laying down and severe migraines, severe sinus pain for eye pain have to be incomplete darkness….. 

5pm on ward- really building in intensity thru evening. Muscle and bone pain increasing, stiff neck and stomach pain, chest pain really bad and hurting chemical anxiety but hurting chest feeling. Stomach burning body intensely buzzing and nerves . Migraine and seveee head are and sinus. Intense pressure in bottom area. 
really achy and very hard to close eyes bc body is so activated. RLS feeling in head and back spine.

[LotusRising]

@Boges11

 

I’m confused. Are you still in the hospital?

 

When did the issues with your eyes start?

 

 

[Boges11]

No had blood work appt.

 

update just woke up and don’t feel much pain anywhere. Just buzzing feet…. Was in excruciating last night see below. This scares me as I thought it was Covid symptoms more severe but now is it mirt related? Will update later 

 

12/26/23

Took 7.5 mg mirtazapine at 9:30 PM. 

-RLS started within 30 minutes eye pain decrease some acathisia and twisting and stomach issues. Decrease some buzzing all over continued

Fell asleep at not sure what time dreams, hard to sleep on the side because of neck stiffness and pain, never had this before, except it started once I started mirtazapine.

-woke up close to 4 o’clock late awake trying to fall asleep and had racing thoughts, chemical anxiety, severe started around 5 AM extreme chemical, anxiety and burning in chest and stomach. Flipping around and rolling legs hurting really bad, intense panic, feeling, pressure, all body feeling like someone’s blowing me up like a balloon, but really a lot more intensely felt like someone is carving my stomach and carving my brain out shortness of breath toss and lots of heart skipped beats fell asleep for a few minutes here and there, and would have chemical terror waking up hypnic jolts all over which make it so uncomfortable then leads to hypnic jolts in my legs, but then also that feeling all over body clench

10am- Took 30 mg of armor thyroid medicine at breakfast, which is the same every morning scrambled eggs boiled chicken and frozen wild blueberries.

 anxiety and symptoms less tense. 

11am-put laundry in trying to just pick up a few things in my room quite difficult just with dizziness and ice started hurting and burning sinuses started burning really badly buzzing feet nauseated, and crummy flu feeling neck tendon pain that’s all back more intensely lay down did a few things on my phone again very difficult. I have to have sunglasses on and in the dark room, 

12pm-1pmenter irritable, very off-balance, scared weak, stomach pressure is always an issue all the time every day got lunch together from brother, green beans, chicken, and sweet potatoes, which is the same every day sometimes unsweetened applesauce sometimes just a regular baked potato and carrots with chicken

3pm- bloodwoek appt- severe neck tension, pain stiffness migraine sinuses are burning and hurts so bad eye pain is really severe. 4pm- home, really sick feeling really nauseous laying down and severe migraines, severe sinus pain for eye pain have to be incomplete darkness

 

5pm on ward- really building in intensity thru evening. Muscle and bone pain increasing, stiff neck and stomach pain, chest pain really bad and hurting chemical anxiety but hurting chest feeling. Stomach burning body intensely buzzing and nerves . Migraine and seveee head are and sinus 

Intense pressure in bottom area. bones and muscle aches quite a bit feel really poorly

6pm- bath helped tiny bit but so weak. 

7pm- barely move in my bed to eat dinner. Feel horrendous finished all food

8pm- severe muscle aches and weakness, sinus pain and headaches all over head

Shaky and just frustrated

9pm- finish saline rinse didn’t really work, pain in eyes and head very bad, 

Z945pm- take 7.5mh Mirtazapine

10pm- migraine head pain reduced, 

1015- eyes still sore 

Throbbing head in the back of head, face pain trying to use new humidifier with cool mist to see if it helps dry eyes

Heart palpitations, beats more prominen1030

1030- dry throat causing spasms, severe RLS in calves causing feet to flex and jolt 

Eye pain head pains n severe, chest pain severe

4am- wake up, vivid dreams firing sleep til now maybe fell asleep around 11? ***** thru night 

Bathroom, no pain anywhere egeee was yesterday 

5am 

[Boges11]

@LotusRising Ifreaking Out most of this is Mirtazapine related. 

 

And withdrawal of dropping back to 7.5mg from a few days of 15mg the second week in treatment center and maybe interpose withdrawal (gene testing this is in red category and says. Might need more if serum level low),

or changing brands once home. I have the extreme chemical anxiety feeling abd panic from waking up if fall back asleep that I never ever had before starting Mirtazapine. Was fortunate that I fell asleep in mornings with Klonopin taoer and after that I didn’t wake to to terror feel like people talk about bc my cortisol was extremely low in mornings and had evened out in spring.

My hard mornings were the yucky just weak and benzo flu nausea etc.  couldn’t move til 1pm stuff.

 

I didn’t have the face grimacing ever with K taper and off and the hypnic jolts I had only a few times with K when I had tapered too fast and at beginning starting med(dr didn’t know what was) but not once off.

 

I’m freaking out I stared something that now has caused all that stuff I didn’t have and the migraines and eye sinus pain (had some dry eye pribs during k taker but drops helped and then was ok), and I’m gonna have severe issues brought on and stop have akathisia and worse with the arching back etc.

. I had the extreme akathisia and no sleep with brain issues neuro problems but this is all different.

 

12/25/23

Took 7.5 mg mirtazapine at 9:30 PM

Up at 3 AM onwards scared out of mine on how I’m going to do this all try to close eyes and they’re dying around under my eyelids and flashing lights with various colors. 

Less intense morning than the night before, but over the morning got more ramped up and more ramped up all the rocking, and just having to like bounce leg, even when standing, and just feeling extremely ramped up all morning, went to do bloodwork, and that was very difficult because I was just rocking back-and-forth and just feeling intense intrusive thoughts very physically, sick just weak and nauseous and All the symptoms

12pm- lunch carrots, baked potato and boiled chicken unsweetened applesauce always very hungry and eat all my food, but have so much stomach pressure all the time like extreme stomach pressure which I had this during my Klonopin taper but then it got a lot better towards the end, but then was back once I got off, and then more intense here in the past month

1pm- crying to family parents on and off the phone with a benzo coach talked tiny bit for five minutes with her. Face, grimacing, and eyes closing and clenching and voluntarily is new stuff for me worried about it not sure if this is some thing from Covid because it wasn’t happening initially on mirtazapine or if this is an adverse reaction or combination of everything 

Just very scared very panicked about my situation and just overall terrified. Family is so burn out and just so frustrated with the whole situation because they can’t fix anything but also just drained emotionally. I call so many times a day because I’m terrified now of any back like every second in a psych hospital.

-hard conversations make all my movement worse. Try it like to look close my eyes and it’s like my brain is just exploding and agitation behind them body arches back and up and down when I’m laying and I’m just terrified as what happened to me.

4pm-dizziness is a new symptom that I haven’t had at all in terms of the room spinning. I’ve had vertigo through my Ben taper, but never liked the room spinning and this started a bit as I laid down this afternoon and again just terrified. Just it’s so much on top of the eye, pain and acathisia and the movements and stomach issues and just overwhelms me

5:30pm- all day so eating again the same stuff chicken green beans baked potato gluten-free piece of toast a couple bites of cereal. I always can eat my food but it’s not pleasant. It’s like my stomach is just gnawing but also just the pressure in pain is there

7:30pm-eat dinner, same stuff try to sit up after eating settling down tired emotionally, drained, all arching back and movement and just pulling hair and rubbing face and squeezing eyes in voluntarily jolting is around completely miserable. Scared.

Symptoms get a little better later in the evening and then at 9:30 take medication

 

 

12/26/23

Took 7.5 mg mirtazapine at 9:30 PM. 

-RLS started within 30 minutes eye pain decrease some acathisia and twisting and stomach issues. Decrease some buzzing all over continued

Fell asleep at not sure what time dreams, hard to sleep on the side because of neck stiffness and pain, never had this before, except it started once I started mirtazapine.

-woke up close to 4 o’clock late awake trying to fall asleep and had racing thoughts, chemical anxiety, severe started around 5 AM extreme chemical, anxiety and burning in chest and stomach. Flipping around and rolling legs hurting really bad, intense panic, feeling, pressure, all body feeling like someone’s blowing me up like a balloon, but really a lot more intensely felt like someone is carving my stomach and carving my brain out shortness of breath toss and lots of heart skipped beats fell asleep for a few minutes here and there, and would have chemical terror waking up hypnic jolts all over which make it so uncomfortable then leads to hypnic jolts in my legs, but then also that feeling all over body clench

10am- Took 30 mg of armor thyroid medicine at breakfast, which is the same every morning scrambled eggs boiled chicken and frozen wild blueberries.

 anxiety and symptoms less tense. 

11am-put laundry in trying to just pick up a few things in my room quite difficult just with dizziness and ice started hurting and burning sinuses started burning really badly buzzing feet nauseated, and crummy flu feeling neck tendon pain that’s all back more intensely lay down did a few things on my phone again very difficult. I have to have sunglasses on and in the dark room, 

12pm-1pmenter irritable, very off-balance, scared weak, stomach pressure is always an issue all the time every day got lunch together from brother, green beans, chicken, and sweet potatoes, which is the same every day sometimes unsweetened applesauce sometimes just a regular baked potato and carrots with chicken

3pm- bloodwoek appt- severe neck tension, pain stiffness migraine sinuses are burning and hurts so bad eye pain is really severe. 4pm- home, really sick feeling really nauseous laying down and severe migraines, severe sinus pain for eye pain have to be incomplete darkness

 

5pm on ward- really building in intensity thru evening. Muscle and bone pain increasing, stiff neck and stomach pain, chest pain really bad and hurting chemical anxiety but hurting chest feeling. Stomach burning body intensely buzzing and nerves . Migraine and seveee head are and sinus 

Intense pressure in bottom area. bones and muscle aches quite a bit feel really poorly

6pm- bath helped tiny bit but so weak. 

7pm- barely move in my bed to eat dinner. Feel horrendous finished all food

8pm- severe muscle aches and weakness, sinus pain and headaches all over head

Shaky and just frustrated

9pm- finish saline rinse didn’t really work, pain in eyes and head very bad, 

Z945pm- take 7.5mh Mirtazapine

10pm- migraine head pain reduced, 

1015- eyes still sore 

Throbbing head in the back of head, face pain trying to use new humidifier with cool mist to see if it helps dry eyes

Heart palpitations, skipped beats more

1030- dry throat causing spasms, severe RLS in calves causing feet to flex and jolt 

Eye pain head pains n severe, chest pain severe

4am- wake up, vivid dreams maybe fell asleep around 11? Slept thru night 

Bathroom, no pain anywhere egeee was yesterday 

5am tried stomach sleep and stuff nick pain- this only started with Mirtazapine in terms of stiff pain trying stomach sleeping a week on it (started mirt 11/26/23).

Top of abdomen tender, has been thru starting Mirtazapine and was a bit in K after

Eyes burning and maybe bc typing in phone 

Didn’t have sinus pain and this severe eye type aching until after starting Mirtazapine. Had eye to close them bc they hurt at times or so sensitive to light coming off Klonopin but not to this type of pain.

Chest pain burning starting a bit. Jolts starting twitching some buzzing feet abs legs continue.

Never had the body clenching until Mirtazapine

[LotusRising]

3 hours ago, Boges11 said:

 

And withdrawal of dropping back to 7.5mg from a few days of 15mg the second week in treatment center and maybe interpose withdrawal

I don't think this would be withdrawal from taking 15mg for a few days. I did not take mirtazapine myself, but it has a longer half-life so interdose withdrawal does not seem likely.

 

It really does seem like the additional medications have disrupted your CNS. If you feel like the mirtazapine is adding to your symptoms, have you considered coming off it? 

[Boges11]

Yes I have but since Covid and scared all the changes and so unstable I don’t know where and when to start. I’m scared out of my mind bc K 3yr taper was so brutal and just have been very traumatized from everything that’s happened the last few months.

 

It’s seems a week after going back to 7.5mg I crashed/had the severe stuff start again with head eye pain severe chemical panic chest pain etc etc that I didn’t have at the time before starting the Mirtazapine…so I just didn’t know and also changing brands on the 18th the Monday I came home that by the weekend that’s when my body would affected…

I did have some days I had shooting pain in my chest and heart and trembling/ felt going to collapse a treatment place but they said it easnt the medicine effects. Didn’t have computer for side effects so couldn’t check.

also it makes me so hungry yet I’m still GI issues and pain and at 97lbs so now worried about having further GInissues starting to taper this.

i have had withdrawal after just taking a medicine for two weeks and then tapering albeit quickly so my system not even having the last few months is just one that feels a lot. 
with K taper I never had where I felt good ever , always had about 10-20 symptoms any given day, but it was predictable once I was in my patterns and had slowed down.

 

 Interdose I just wonder bc the symptoms coming on building again in early morning hours and into

mormomg. I don’t know im

Just tryimg to get any idea of what is what which is impossible bc I am living second to second and terrrifed.

 

i am sleeping some which I needed but it’s at the cost of this horrific medicine and what it’s brought on/future as I taper. I’d love to taper off quickly but like I said barely handing on and my body physically can’t handle much bc so weak.

[Jaffa]

@Boges11

 

I have nothing really helpful to say other than I'm so very sorry for what you have been through and continue to go through. As bad as it is, please hold on. Do not give up. Stay steady on what the mods here recommend and remember the first line of your story: - before 2020 you had touched no psych meds. Just make it through each day. That is enough. Know that you are so much stronger than you think you are. You will beat this. This will end. Do whatever you have to do to keep the time passing. Any time it feels possible, try to practice some deep slow breaths making sure the out breath is especially long. Know that deep inside of you is the true you and that all that is happening to you is not who you are. Just stay steady. Do everything the same everyday . Just aim to reach stability staying regular with the medication . When things are calmer you can slowly taper off with guidance from this site. You are brave and courageous . This is a huge shock for you and its truly horrid but know that many here have had these same horrid experiences and survived and you will too. 

[Boges11]

thanks for your kindness, I’m sorry for you going thru things to… I am just so non functional and scared what the Mirtazapine is going additionally to my eyes bc eyes are critical and I already have high prescription,  and the jolts are awful. The twisting and arching back movements repeating words anll day also horrendous. Clenched undr toes and fists…. Didn’t have this stuff and the facial grimacing. Not good.
i have tried preservative free  eye drops during k taper that helped dryness but this they hurt after drops worse .

 

12/28 record 

4am-wake up and go to the bathroom for the remainder of the morning no symptoms right now which makes me worried that this is mirtazapine related because it was Covid stuff I would still have symptoms.

5 AM – still up stressed out. Symptoms are rising pain in the neck, migraine eye, pain, chemical anxiety, chest pain all building.

6 AM to 8 AM – in an out of sleep yet my I’m dreaming but I’m awake it’s so so scary chemical, anxiety and panic feeling as I fully wake up and then go back into another quick dream for a few minutes and then the same. It just feels horrendous and scary and hate it.

8:10 AM – so so so exhausted just laying in bed trained yet activated so scared and just upset what this is all done and how the symptoms are my poor body. I’m just so tired yet. Can’t get some good sleep crazy neurological stuff happening. Eating breakfast same eat all of it.

12-2pm really stressed out with attack of so exhausted that I could barely breathe move. My fingertips couldn’t even eat my lunch. Stressful conversation with family body is so over taxed and feeling just extreme extreme extreme exhaustion and inability to do nothing laying in bed dark room, barely able to breathe.

3 PM – need to go to urgent care to get the finger. Bacteria addressed very overstimulated from all of the discussions with Brandon and distressed, and so sick

4 PM Dash finish at the urgent care for the finger draining went OK but was pretty agitated and saying same thing over and over rocking back-and-forth feeling pretty crummy overstimulated but glad to be done

5 PM – feeling pretty terrible, rocking back-and-forth toes curled under stressed out, laying in bed dark room, eating some food, very agitated, body buzzing

6 PM – eating some food, talking to parents stressed out, feeling terrible laying in bed dark room.

7 PM – buzzing laying in bed was on phone probably too long looking at tapering options stressed out 

8 PM – laying in bed dark room, eating dinner chicken potatoes and sweet potatoes geeen beans and carrots. FOOD STUCK ON BACK OF TONGUE MULTIOLE TIMES. Swallow issues a few times, scaryyyy and new.

crying because so stressed out feels so terrible and just everything that has gone on. It’s just looping in my head I’m exhausted every which way.

9pm- arching back legs moving running hand three hair for hour to calm. just lots of involuntary movements and jolting. I hate it is so scared I’m in. Closed and it’s brain moving so fast and I feel like I’m screaming at myself in my brain like it’s just a picture of me just screaming out loud, wanting to pull my hair out, wanting to carve every inch of my body. It’s just so terrible to have these kind of thoughts cause never ever have. I had them prior to all these medication’s.

9:45 PM – take 7.5mg Mirtazapine

Buzzing legs all day, tummy a bit upset. Aching, shoulders and neck. Completely exhausted but closed. It’s just chaos in the brain.

1030- rls agitation frustration scared

1230- am- legs severelt jolting, eyes, feel like worms, crawling in them, and also burning like something in them

130 – likes jolting RLS really badly but jolting eyes really messed up chest hypnic jolts internal akathisia really really really bad

White light flashes with hypnic jolts in closed eyes. Screaming in head and like a rolling tape in front of face of scrolling down a phone with nothing thre (behind closed eyes). Hate the urges of wanting to scream and run

230-same, who knows when fell asleep 

8- dreams are always I’m healthy. Wake up to despair and unbelievable that im so injured and on another med that is likely harming me yet can’t adjust bc so severely unstable and sick . 

[LotusRising]

@Boges11

 

 

23 hours ago, Boges11 said:

i am sleeping some which I needed but it’s at the cost of this horrific medicine and what it’s brought on/future as I taper. I’d love to taper off quickly but like I said barely handing on and my body physically can’t handle much bc so weak.

 

I think you need to weight out the risk/benefits regarding the mirtazapine. You've been on it for just over 4 weeks and the longer you take it, the deeper the dependence will become. If you feel it's helping with sleep, this is good, but if it's activating you, which it seems to be according to some of your notes (the RLS feeling), you may want to do a quick taper off. If it were me, I wouldn't want to be on something that was making me feel worse. 

[Boges11]

Please Can anyone chime in that has been extremely stabilized, non-functional to the point where your bedbound and then mentally very stabilized as well… Yet tried to come off? I have multiple movement issues now and just severe chaos and so unstable. I don’t want things to get worse where I am completely unable to manage yet if I stay longer, I said an issue I just, don’t know what is what I would love anybody’s input on how to gauge when so severely symptomatic.

 

I feel so alone my family is just so overwhelmed so very chaotic trying to talk through things with them because they are so upset and don’t know how to help. I just really need a lot of handholding right now and guidance which I know is impossible given I’ve been through so much the last few months and so we stabilized but please if anybody has any thoughts please. Thank you.

 

[Boges11]

Above post everywhere says stabilized should say unstable

 

[Ryder]

On 12/30/2023 at 3:32 AM, LotusRising said:

I wouldn't want to be on something that was making me feel worse.

I agree with Lotus.

 

Did Mirta help you sleep at all ? 

[Boges11]

Helping with sleep but very sparingly , some nights, no sleep or just like in and out for an hour or so and some nights I get 3 to 4 hours of sleep. I only got maybe one or two nights of sleep when I was in the treatment center on it for the 10 days. also, my genetics is that I need more of this particular medication for the effect, so I am wondering if yes, I’m having withdrawal effects from it only take it one time a day and already having withdrawal plus the adverse effects hypnic my eye pain, and then the acathisia getting worse with the more like face, grimacing, and stuff I never had before

and now I just figured out my dates were wrong and I didn’t start it until December 2 not 26 November so I was a week shorter than I realized so now I’m just now reaching the four weeks on it. Which now I’m freaking out because when I first brought this up it was at 2 1/2 weeks on and I could’ve been making some changes then but I got Covid right away so it’s all just so frustrating.

Scared that with being so debilitated bedbound so severely sick that trying to now start a taper how do I manage that? How do I even know what’s causing what in terms of gauging when I make my next reduction? I’m not stable at all and I know you can’t be with this, but I’m so afraid of being in a complete mania situation like at times this has caused me during the day that i’m terrified to even start. I don’t know if I should get the liquid that my compounder will do and making that change is gonna make maybe probably a little bit of an effect and then have to try to see how that does or just start from the pills and go from there. I always said with Klonopin that I had wished I changed a compound liquid instead of dry cutting sooner. 

 

So many things that my brain is just so fried and so overwhelmed. I’m so sorry I keep talking about the same things over and over but I’m just so frustrated and scared that I’m on this. I never benefited from one of taking it for sleep and it’s not like I’m getting 6 to 7 hours every night from day one that I started taking it. 
Please stick with me everybody I just need a lot of support… My family is just really really really upset and they’re taking a frustration out on me at times and I just can’t have anything more on my shoulders

[Boges11]

I’m rapid metabolized of mirt and  could I be tolerant already and interdose and adverse/sude effects . Bc in acute Klonopin symptoms plus the mirt symptoms . 20-30 symptoms rolling all day, severe akathisia and horrible manic type feel . Only get 2-3hrs sleep handful of times in last few weeks. Maybe 2/3 nights of 4-5hrs and then just barely anything most of the nights or 0. 
I’m in a horrible state . 

12/31/23

715- figured out I was a week off of being on this stuff so really could have tapered at two weeks on home from hospital 

Freaked out bc so upset another med to taper and I could have maybe avoided long taper bc was at 2 weeks and now this is 4wks right at one month mark for slow taper

8-12- convos with family, stressful trying to work thru and resolve how we can all be better

1pm lunch- exhausted

2pm laying down reading some stuff of how to help

230pm- shower exhausted and sit in shower

Itchy tired legs feel stiff, hurt barely can walk, eyes dry so out vizia drops and hurt 20mkn later who knows if drop or due to med issues

3pm- eat gluten free toast

3:30pm- exhaustion and eye pain and burning. So tired akathisia off and on, aching so bad, so tired I’m cranky bc can’t rest, senses are so extreme. Crying bc so tired yet can’t nap. Brain ticking inside. 

Not sure if I need to look at carbs bc I think they are causing me to be exhausted after eating too much. Green beans carrots sweet potatoes regular potatoes and chicken for every meal

3:45pm- so cranky and irritated and moving back and forth and tired;  nauseated pressure in stomach is so extreme 

Aura migraines- black and white waves at top and bottom of eyesite- been happening for 3 weeks

5pm- so tired and cranky, edge of bed rocking. Crying

715- extreme akathisia biting arms moving non stop on bed and face grimacing, pulling hair out teeth grinding , scream talking 

Mania feel; close eyes and feeling of brain at 9000mph and wanting yo break every single thing and just an envisioning of myself just like screaming, but I’m not intentionally thinking of that. It’s just that’s my brain just feels it…. So severe .

8:30- eat dinner

Pan. Ramping up and head, spinal pain haven’t had since Klonopin acute,irritated agitated, legs, moving nonstop, scared frustrated upset eyes hurting crying doesn’t help. Grinding teeth clenched, want to throw myself u yo walk, picking skin pulling face severe 

930pm- body seems calmer, spine pain, still there, neck and head pain still there 

Internal akathisia ramp down some

945pm- 7.5 mg mirtazapine. Body and brain are a lot calmer before taking. But the migraine pain is there the eye pressure and pain. Constant stomach pretty nauseous joints hurt

Thyroid tsh results, from 9 to 5.6 in span of 4 wks thyroid med never changed 

1015- nauseated, headache, eye colors behind closed eyes , internal aka low, no thrashing or pulling skin, pain better 

11-1:30? Or so- horrific jolts due to RLS pain. Migraine pain, eye lights, heart pain. Nightmare when slept.

415- up for bathroom no symptoms, and now awake, stomach isdues severe pain nausea gnawing…..  or good this is all Mirtazapine abs then acute Klonopin again. Adverse reaction side effects from mirt and not high enough dose now, and back in acute k 

[Boges11]

Please any advice, no idea how to do a quick taper at this point as I’m just now at 4 week mark (was off a dang week and that’s upsetting me a lot bc I could have been only at 2 weeks when I got home from hospital and  tried quick taper). 
Severe akathisia thru day and manic scream talking and saying same thing over and over and in complete panic with family. Body being pulled like stretching out and moving rocking all the time.

please anyone any advice on should I start taper maybe 2.5% given update above and appear to be reacting and maybe needing the med at same time bc having withdrawal type symptoms (migraines joint pain eye pain nausea etc but after takimg, jolting, RLS severe, light flashing in eyes closed, brain swirling feeling, body pain). A couple nights no symptoms and then symptoms a few nights after taking, hard to gauge what is what.
surviving minute to minute …..

[LotusRising]

@Boges11 Please see my above comment from the brassmonkey slide topic, in response to your comment there. In future, it's easier if you post questions specific to your personal situation on your own thread, as you've done above.

 

Please read through my above comment. If you feel like this is too fast, you could certainly do a 2.5% reduction, though because you've only been on this drug for 4 weeks, you may not need to go this slow. 

[Boges11]

Any thoughts…. I’m very very ill, burning achy etc that’s just getting worse. Yet reaction after med still. I’m ultra rapid metabolizer, am i tolerant already? Need split doses? How am I ever going to come down if I’m this sick . I’m so so scared and fear how I’ll ever stabilize even the least bit (i had 20+ symptoms each day thru k taper (100+ overall)so I know stabilizing doesn’t mean symptom-free, but just that your symptoms are manageable and predictable somewhat). This seems to be just getting worse. Here is kind of daily summary update. Any feedback is appreciated. I’m really scared can’t believe it

 

1/1/24

Stomach pain and k joints hurting, high chemical anxiety, itching , brain racing nauseated which have t been since early on at end of of taper . I extreme stomach pressure and wanting to dry heave. Tickle akathisia in throat and eyes 

7am-switched rooms, trying to sleep again, horrific wanting to scream talk, body so uncomfortable, try to sleep again… in and out of sleep, nightmare, stomach jolting with hypnic jolts

10- awake and so upset to be on Mirtazapine bc I’m reacting but can’t just get off and horrible symptoms . Body burning, stomach rolling, skin itching, scared on what to now do. 

‘11am-eat breakfast feeling very very upset and regulated. Just super super overwhelmed by this whole situation and what’s transpired. Constipated

12pm-  nauseated and stomach burning, achy heart palpitations, and twitches, body burning all over eye pain in his eye, aching dryness. Just feel very uncomfortable and irritable. exhaustion setting in yet so ramped up so now just having to move my legs which are extremely stiff and sore

12:30- achy sore rocking yucky feel so tired

1-2:30- feel terrible crying rocking muscles all tense and nauseated, aching and whole body feels awful 

3-315- eat lunch - chicken sweet potatoes carrots and unsweetened apple sauce, less nauseated hungry feel; aching body and exhausted . Constipated. Looking at phone, for tent Amazon order , walked outside a couple times to driveway. Bones hurt and unsteady walking weak,m

430- akathisia ramping up, arching back, body stretching pull bc of aka, feet freezing but nerves burning, spine hurting muscles and bones hurting, tired but wired. Cranky and want to just be how I was in spring time, sick but functional. Scared. 

5:30- laying on couch last hour and very achy, irritable, scared , tired.  Rocking legs,

Repeating words

6-7pm- restless on couch so upset, rocking and reading and asking how to handle situation, extreme stomach pressure, spine pain and burning, gassy tummy, so tired but wired, overwhelmed 

Dinner- chicken sweet potatoes potatoe and carrots

730pm- twitching rocking and so upset by overwhelmed feeling, body burning, buzzing, repeating ok ok kk, I’m not sure 

Back arching

8- went upstairs to room and lay down. Akathisia was less, body aching. Tired nerve, burning and spine and neck vibrations for a constant all the time. Just very intensity all day night exhausted scared

9:30- take 7.5 mg mirtazapine stomach pressure is very very just real tight and muscles and legs feel very stiff but weak very disjointed. Really really tired exhausted. Worn down mentally and physically.

 KNot in stomach very pronounced, rolling around

945pm- stream, heart pain, stabbing pain can’t tell this is also just indigestion pain coming up into my heart, but really stabbing pains, numbness weirdness in the brain, joints, hurting tired, and exhausted. Pressure and stomach. Yuck. Indigestion kind of acid reflux. Feel very gurgly stomach

Kind of suffocating indigestion feeling burping can barely breathe when I burp potty pain, extreme joint pain, itchy

10:30m- joints hurting, stomach pressure lower, still have the indigestion muscles, aching, and weak internal vibrations, ankles popping, rain racing, nerves and bottom really uncomfortable, feet hurts so bad all the time, acathisia low at this point more the tickling feeling in the brain and internal agitation 

1130pm- horribly RLS and horrific jolts all over, barely able to breathe at certain pints, scared hir bad feel, brain racing and stalling , internal akathisia, fell asleep at some pint

530am- wake up to go to bathroom- heavy dreaming before jolts hurts so bad 

Up rest if morning reading taper stuff. Burning, numbness in face, joint and bone pain, exhaustion, vibrating increasing over morning, constipation, doom and dread, stomach pain in upper abdomen right side always has been issue and shooting pains in lower, tinnitus ramped up m

Air pushing j to mouth from abdomen, have to keep swallowing 

 

1/2/24

845am5- Chang rooms try to sleep again, in and out a bit and anxious coming out of dream Air pushing j to mouth from abdomen, have to keep swallowing and trying to do deep breathing exercise, have to keep swallowing a lot- 

10- BM thankfully , tummy burning joints aching burning all over body

Fear and scared, so tired, laying in bed,  burning all over body mouth feet lots , stomach rolling and growling, weak body,

Tongue and swallowing issues, air jerks coming up from abfomen into mouth when mouth closed that I have to breathe out

11-eat breakfast- immediate indigestion burping after few bites stomach gurgling, soreness in middle that has been like that after K taper and continues on and off , feel movement in intestines1

12pm- go downstairs, tight, stiff legs very unsteady, feel crummy

1pm- super nauseated tight pressure stomach, tired been looking at online recipes work out muscles ache joints hurt, put peppermint oil on them

2pm- severely sick like stomach flu sick, stomach, body aches horrid, burning horrid, top of stomach so sick pressing into chest and hard to breathe. So weak. Scared 

 

 

[Boges11]

Ultra rapid metabolizer of Mirtazapine cyp1a2 gene…. Should I be dosing twice a day? How would I change from one dose to two now 4 weeks on? If lease need some advice here on this and what people have done. I’m pretty bed bound and sick.

 

is it maybe why maybe I’m already having withdrawal type symptoms in day yet I still have adverse reactions when take dose at 9:30. 

[Boges11]

Anyone able to offer advice on dosing and being ultra rapid metabolizer . Thank you so much for reading this.

should I change to liquid first? I’ll try to split two doses first, then move over to liquid. This is just so complicated. I’m been crying and crying but I’m on this and it’s not been helpful really at all except for some sleep, but I’d rather I’ve never been on this, and just been suffering with not sleeping and dealing with the acathisia, because I still have all the acathisia, now I’ve got so many more symptoms on top of all that and medicine to try to come off of. 

 

still having the adverse type reactions when I take the medication… Severe, restless legs, internal acathisia, goes nuts, stomach issues, further, pain, and then everything calms down, and I fall asleep just black out at some point and wake up to not many symptoms, but then they start rising as I’m awake in the morning and they start getting more intense. 

[Boges11]

Is anyone able to help me on the cyp1a2 ultra rapid metabolizer piece above … akathisia is horrific right now.l and I’m struggling to do anymore research bc it’s scaring me and my brain is too wiped. Have family looking at stuff but they work to and this is all critical as days keep passing.

thank you 

 

 

[LotusRising]

@Boges11

 

Have you seen this topic below:

 

 

[Boges11]

@LotusRising

Yes, but I can’t figure out I guess if someone needs to dose more frequently being an ultra rapid metabolizer. I know Alostrat said that taper doesn’t make a difference but I guess the amount of dosing would ? Trying to figure out and how I would split doses given I’m adversely reacting as well to my dose.

 

Akso have I kindling myself because I am clearing the drug faster? Before my next dose goes in?

I’m having a severe time with symptoms and akathisia going nuts, and I’m just so overwhelmed trying to sort all this out.

 

i commented there but it was years ago so not sure if  anyone gets on that post anymore.

[LotusRising]

2 hours ago, Boges11 said:

Akso have I kindling myself because I am clearing the drug faster? Before my next dose goes in?

No, you are not kindling yourself here.

 

Also, as I've already mentioned, if you are getting adverse reactions to the mirtazapine and it is not helping you, you would probably do well to come off it at a faster pace since you have only been on it for less than 4 weeks.

[Boges11]

@LotusRising

Thank you.

Ok I guess I need to know does one split doses if they are adverse bc they are having interdose withdrawal…. I guess I have to address interdose withdrawal but since I am adverse reacting then how is best to take that other dose still 12hrs apart?

Do I keep more for night bc i eventually fall asleep? 
I read where you gradually are supposed to move dosing but in this case also? 

havimg akathisia coming into starting Mirtazapine from getting off klonoin so a fear is it getting worse bc I have akathisia from tapering Mirtazapine if not done right?

i am a wreck trying to understand how to gauge and how will i gauge symptom severity and know what is what bc im already bedbound and can’t lose anymore weight.

 

 

[LotusRising]

@Boges11

 

Are your symptoms bad all the time, or do you notice they get worse just prior to your dose and then subside when you take it?

[Boges11]

@LotusRising

here is summary bad all the time… had aka before med but didn’t struggle with all of these other symptoms at that time. I have benzo BIND that’s likely impacted things…. This aka is worse than before in that u have the grunting and facial grimacing abd toes curling unde, and  tension everywhere.

Thurs- Sundays seem to be particularly bad and can’t work out why that is 

 

1/3/23

 

12pm- really burning, unable to move much , very weak and unsteady, nausea and stomach issues, agitated

1:45pm- leave for eye appt; eat on way

2-4:30pm- eye appt; use punctual plugs if want for dryer eyes ; in wheelchair bc not able to walk but few feet, very unsteady and weak, rocking during appt 

7pm- take shower- sit on chair cant stand too worn out

8pm- akathisia, lots of internal vibration, body burning all over, genital area weird numbness but burns sometimes 

8:15pm- eat dinner all of it

9:55pm- take 7.5mg Mirtazapine

11pm-12am- issues with RLS, doom, internal akathisia in brain feel, brain like it’s stalling out feel, flashing white lights behind closed eyes, moving legs and tossing and turning, indigestion 

Fell asleep at some point after midnight

Bathroom at some point no idea during night didn’t look at clock, neck stiff and pain in tendons, restless 

6am- up toss and turn 

 

1/4/23

7am- switch rooms 

I’ve been looking at posts and trying to decipher things all morning for hours about next step for dosing type etc

11am- BM, normal, eat breakfast, laying on couch, stomach gurgling a ton, ate everything, barely able to walk legs with stiff then jelly and popping joints

12pm-exhausted and burning everywhere face joints hurt like stuff when I try to walk in her really bad can barely shuffle along.

Sever burning in legs, vibrating, rls feeling, uncomfortable, joint pain, and all my joints, tired, exhausted, frustrated, muscle weakness, low cognitive strength, exhausted, face numb, teeth clenched, feet always ache very badly

12:30pm- sit outside in sun

Buzzing hurting barely can walk shaky muscles and nerves spasms

Crying so much want to scream and scream at Mirtazapine situation

Twitching all over 

1:00pm- crying overwhelmed 

2:45pm- eating lunch- squash chicken sweet potatoes, carrots and green beans 

Toast (try not having this and see if aka gets better**)

3:15pm- akathisia picking up, legs moving, body rocking back and forth and very uncomfortable, stretching body out and in, 

Arching back getting severe, need to go to dark room

4pm- chomping on mouth guard severe rocking of legs back and forth, severe akathisia 

6pm-severe acathisia rocking thrashing on bed saying no thank you please no thank you 1 million times over ripping it skin just like contorting, body facial, grimacing, chomping, teeth, eyes, squishing

7:30- eat dinner on phone with parents are horrific acathisia, horrific behind my eyes. Wanna pull my eyeballs out want my feet our toes are curled under. They hurt so bad rocking side side.

8-9pm- arching back and moving legs back-and-forth on bed severe acathisia still just so so overwhelmed by how to survive your academia and chest eyes. Still extreme have to be in pitch room. So overwhelmed. Clenching teeth

 

 

 

 

[LotusRising]

12 hours ago, Boges11 said:

here is summary bad all the time

 

If symptoms are bad all the time, you are likely still dealing with benzo withdrawal, since that is when your symptoms worsened. This was likely made worse by the numerous drugs that you were given in hospital, which destabilized you further. I have a hard time believing this is interdose withdrawal since you've been on the mirtazapine only a short time, which would lead me to believe you do not need to dose twice daily even if you are a fast metabolizer. Please refer back to previous posts re: tapering recommendations. 

 

I realize this is a stressful time and I'm sorry it's so difficult, I can relate, but I do feel a little bit like we're going round and round. I suggest you read through all the previous posts from the beginning. Perhaps that will help you make a decision. 

Edited January 5 by LotusRising

[Boges11]

Thank you @LotusRising

Sorry, it’s a lot to wrap my head around in such a state trying to read everything and remember and there’s so many things when I’m just trying to survive every day
Yeah, I guess I just have the same type of symptoms with the joint pain and the migraine that I had when I was briefly on Elavil and then had Ct bc of the eye issues that it made me think that this was something to do with the mirtazapine. And that stuff starts kind of 4 AM, 5 AM-ish where I don’t have that particular stuff after taking the medicine, I have other stuff that adverse stuff after taking it (RLS pain, internal acathisia flashing behind eyes, myoclonic, jolts, ).

Migraine, eye pain, joint pain, like stiffness, etc. all seems to go away when I take the medicine then come back on over the morning.

sorry, not trying to go around and round. My brain is so very overloaded, especially with the intensity of how severe the acathisia is in the screaming, and then the thrashing of my body that I can’t control….. I say the same thing over and over and I’m terrified to make changes to anything and not and completely loose it

thank you for your patience.