UnderstandingtheBrain: Brief Introduction

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

>I'm mexican, living in Mexico. In my 20s.

>Severe OCD

>One day, depression appears suddenly. Now, severe OCD and strong (but not severe) depression.

>2020 i'm given Sertraline 50mg by a Neurologist. Did not had any type of therapy, was sent directly to taking drugs.

>2021 Change to Escitalopram 10 mg

>Escitalopram 2021 10mg

>Had a session of TMS, offered as a trial by a Neurologist.

>Escitalopram 2022 10 mg

>Escitalopram January 2023 25% reduction each week

>February 2023 stop taking Escitalopram

>May 2023 Escitalopram for 2 weeks, varying doses from 2.5mg to 10mg, then stopped again.

>October 2023 took 2.5mg for one week

 

Important notes

- During 2022 and 2023 I went to several psychologists for help (In México) with my OCD and Depression. I consider they didn't help much. Tried CBT.

 

Currently:

- I'm no longer having difficulty with OCD (as far as I know). After reading several books about the topic, I kind of started getting better, and without SSRIs.

- I consider i'm no longer depressed. However i'm mostly in a bad mood, until I force myself to socialize and do fun things. It kind of depends on chemicals in my brain.

- I'm having strong difficulty socializing. I sometimes feel like i'm about to break down, when having a simple conversation. Eye contact, depending on my mood, becomes very hard. I'm seriously considering taking 1-2 mg of Escitalopram to help with this. What are your thoughts? When I took 2.5mg just for a week, It did helped.

 

 

 

 

Edited January 6 by Emonda
Name to title

[Emonda]

Welcome @UnderstandingtheBrain,

We are a site dedicated to helping people taper off their ADs. You've been off ADs for ~8 months.

 

If you had, for example, stopped your AD CT a few weeks ago, then we'd raise the possibility of a very small reinstatement amount.

 

In your case, you stopped back in May, so reinstatement doesn't come onto the radar typically.

 

6 hours ago, UnderstandingtheBrain said:

I'm having strong difficulty socializing. I sometimes feel like i'm about to break down, when having a simple conversation. Eye contact, depending on my mood, becomes very hard. I'm seriously considering taking 1-2 mg of Escitalopram to help with this. What are your thoughts? When I took 2.5mg just for a week, It did helped.

 

Given how hard it can be to get off ADs, I'd be exploring counselling rather than drugs.

 

Back in May, you stopped your AD much faster than the recommended 10% per month. Perhaps you are experiencing some WD symptoms. Have a read of this list: Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

Why not have a read of these links and see if something here helps.

 

Windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

Emotional Spirals

 

Non-drug coping strategies

 

Please post any updates here in your thread. 

 

Sing out with any questions. 

 

Once again, welcome to S.A.

 

Emonda.

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

Thank you very much for your reply @Emonda

 

I don't think I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms. My only problem is social anxiety, mainly with women. I also had this same issue before SSRIs. Maybe I'm doing something wrong, or I need to expose myself more socially. I didn't had this problem when taking SSRIs.

 

Today I tried taking 1/8 of a 10mg Escitalopram tablet to experiment. Cutting the tablet was hard, and I ended with unequal parts. I ended up taking what I estimate was around 1.8mg. Estimation might be off by 0.5mg or less. I felt the effects of the drug, minutes after, and my social anxiety improved significantly with such a small dose. However I did dislike the feeling of being on SSRI. I now want to stop taking it. I only took it today, should I just stop? or a bit of tapering is recommended?

 

I know doing that was a bit risky, I hope I don't mess my brain. I just got too desperate, and needed to try them out again, to see if I should return to being on Escitalopram.

 

 

 

[Emonda]

9 hours ago, UnderstandingtheBrain said:

My only problem is social anxiety, mainly with women. I also had this same issue before SSRIs. Maybe I'm doing something wrong, or I need to expose myself more socially.

 

I'd be exploring counselling options.

 

9 hours ago, UnderstandingtheBrain said:

Today I tried taking 1/8 of a 10mg Escitalopram tablet to experiment

 

I would not experiment with these drugs. They can be hard to taper off.

 

9 hours ago, UnderstandingtheBrain said:

Cutting the tablet was hard, and I ended with unequal parts. I ended up taking what I estimate was around 1.8mg. Estimation might be off by 0.5mg or less.

 

You need to be accurate and consistent with these things.

 

9 hours ago, UnderstandingtheBrain said:

I know doing that was a bit risky, I hope I don't mess my brain. I just got too desperate, and needed to try them out again, to see if I should return to being on Escitalopram.

 

I stand by my previous comments. I'd try counselling and not experiment with these drugs.

 

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

It's been a week, and now I feel terrible. No motivation, no happiness.

 

I just took a single very small dose (around 1.8 mg Escitalopram) last sunday (7 days ago), and I haven't returned to normal. I'm starting to get very worried. I have a healthy lifestyle, eat healthy and do a lot of exercise, if that's important. The Escitalopram I took was expired, by one week (Expiration date Dic 2023). Also, I take creatine (sports performance supplement) daily around 3g. I read online that creatine may increase Escitalopram effects.

 

I'm thinking about taking again Escitalopram, but a smaller dose, maybe that can fix me. Waiting more time its not working, I'm not seeing improvement nor change. The first and second days after taking the drug, I felt rapid heartbeat after waking up; and felt general change in my emotions. After those days, I'm not feeling change nor improvement. Also I could try to stop taking creatine, but I read online it takes a while (6-8 weeks) to leave the body. Also, I read that stopping creatine may increase depression.

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

I wanted to address my social anxiety, so 3 weeks ago, I took 1.5mg of Escitalopram, to experiment. Social anxiety was gone, as expected, but I disliked the feeling of being on Escitalopram, so I decided to not take it anymore. I remember, I had some moments of happiness as the effect dissapeared the following days, however, after those days I haven't been happy since. I consulted a psychiatrist and he told me that that was such a low dose, to have affected me, and told me to just let time pass. More than 3 weeks have passed, and I still haven't felt happiness. I feel like I might be obsessing about it, and that's whats making me depressed. However, many weeks have passed and I still feel the same way. I've been thinking of taking again Escitalopram, a similar small dose, and then gradually taper it off, maybe that could help.

 

I should also mention:

I took one month expired Escitalopram.

Escitalopram is made by a mexican company. I'm always skeptic of mexican products.

Was taking Creatine weeks ago. I read online that creatine may increase Escitalopram effects.

I exercise frequently and have a good diet.

 

I made some posts weeks ago, when I experimented with it. You can find them here:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/30464-understandingthebrain-brief-introduction/#comment-673430

 

What are your thoughts? Is it possible that small dose, changed me? Should I try, taking it again?

 

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

Sunday night I took 5mg Escitalopram.

Monday morning I took 5mg again.

I won't go into details why I did that in this first post.

I want to stop now.

It's Wednesday night right now. Two days have passed. I don't have any withdrawal symptoms. I still feel the usual Escitalopram effects: numb emotions, can't feel sad, difficulty with complex reasoning (especially with numbers).

Should I taper? Thoughts?

If I consult with a Psychiatrist, they will most likely tell me its fine to not take it again, and I'm very skeptic of what they say.

I'm just worried whether I should taper or not. I don't want to end up depressed or with increased anxiety. I do dislike the feeling of the drug, so I want to get rid of it ASAP. It's affecting my performance in college and work.

[KenA]

Please see the following topic for more information about adverse reactions after only taking 1 or 2 doses.

 

 

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

45 minutes ago, KenA said:

Please see the following topic for more information about adverse reactions after only taking 1 or 2 doses.

 

 

Thank you for your response.

 

I haven't had any similar reaction to those mentioned there.

 

After only taking one dose of 0.25 mg on jan 7 2024, and discontinuing, I stopped feeling happy. That's the reason I decided to experiment again on February, with a few doses, and then again, this week, 3 days ago. The Psychiatrist told me such low doses are very unlikely to do anything. There is also the possibility I was obsessing about it (OCD), but I gave it several weeks, and didn't see improvement.

 

Two days ago, I was feeling kind of happy, that might be related to the increased serotonin due to the pills. Right now I don't feel that way. And I do feel very worried about this situation. The anxiety might be overriding other emotions, I don't know. Maybe I already had strong anxiety before, but the pill lowered it? Maybe I'm having increased anxiety right now, due to withdrawal? I don't know.

 

I am planning on waiting a little more. I still feel the effect of the drug. And from what I've read it is still on my system. Even if its 1mg or less, in my experience, that does have an effect.

 

Also, why do my posts keep being moved here? It's the second time I try posting outside of this thread, and my posts keep being moved to "my introduction".

[KenA]

We try to keep the site organized. Generally any post you make that is concerning your symptoms or anything that you personally are going through is kept to your intro topic. Any post that concerns everyone, or the group, is posted to the individual topic. Just depends on the wording and the context. 

[KenA]

40 minutes ago, UnderstandingtheBrain said:

I am planning on waiting a little more. I still feel the effect of the drug. And from what I've read it is still on my system. Even if its 1mg or less, in my experience, that does have an effect.

Agreed, this is probably the best course. Give your system time to adjust. Slow and steady wins the race.

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

4 hours ago, KenA said:

Agreed, this is probably the best course. Give your system time to adjust. Slow and steady wins the race.

I'm very worried right now. I don't know if I'm getting more anxiety right now due to not taking it anymore. I've never discontinued Escitalopram from that much of a dose.  In the past I have stopped at 1 mg, but never at 5mg (plus 5mg more, 12 hours before). Have you heard of anyone discontinuing after that type of dose and being okay? Escitalopram appears to be a strong drug in where each miligram is significant.

 

I've been all day with a nervous stomach. Worried about what to do. This is like gambling with my brain. Psychiatrist can't help, since they don't know that much. I could try taking 1mg now, but I want to get out ASAP of the usual Escitalopram effect, and I might end up doing more harm since my brain may get used to having a bit. The problem is I don't really know, this is all speculation. I can give it more time, however, meanwhile I'll have to live with a burning nervous stomach.

 

I'll say I still have at least 1mg in my body.

Maybe I could take 1 miligram more, just to be safe?

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

22 march 2024 around 2.5 mg 9:30pm

23 march 2024 around 1.3 mg  7:40pm

25 march 2024 around 0.7 mg 1:30am

26 march 2024 around 0.2 mg 1:50am

26 march 2024 around 1 mg 11:20am

 

Thoughts on how to quit this? Psychiatrist says I can just stop.

[UnderstandingtheBrain]

On march 25 2024 afternoon, I started getting pain in the urethra. At that moment I thought that it was related to Escitalopram, because In the past while on Escitalopram sometimes I felt similar sensations. Pain was constant and tolerable. The next day in an attempt to fix it, I took 1mg. Just few hours after taking 1mg, I started feeling like inflammation in my mind. I was also very agitated and anxious. The next day agitation and anxiety was reduced. And a day later, pain in urethra stopped being constant.

 

1.5 weeks later, "inflammation" feeling of the mind is still there. I feel like my cognitive abilities are blocked. I can barely function now. Writing this is very difficult. Pain in urethra sometimes returns. Also, loss of interest and happiness remains, as mentioned in my previous posts.

 

Psychiatrist tells me it's very unlikely something could had happened with such few and low doses, so they kind of ignore the fact that symptoms were caused by Escitalopram. He is suggesting starting treatment again with Escitalopram to therapeutical dose, or starting with Fluoxetine (Prozac).