Jump to content

3BBsGurkPog: Great success!!


Recommended Posts

  • Moderator

Thanks for coming back and sharing your story of recovery. It provides both me and the many other users of the forum with motivation to keep going.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021; 55mg - 23 Feb 2024; 60mg - 20 March 2024; Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 57.93mg  (15 May 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Erimus changed the title to 3BBsGurkPog: Great success!!

It’s great to hear your positive story, thank you for taking the time to post it.

 

I think you expressed yourself perfectly!

Oct 2018 - Jun 2020: 10 mg per day generic Escitalopram in pill form.

Jul 2020 - Aug 2020: Switched to 9 mg per day of Cipralex drops to aid tapering.

Sep 2020 - Oct 2020: Taper to 8 mg.

Nov 2020 - Dec 2020: Taper to 7 mg.

Jan 2021 - Feb 2021: Taper to 6 mg.

Mar 2021 - Apr 2021: Taper to 5 mg.

May 2021 - Jun 2021: Taper to 4 mg.

Jul 2021 - Sep 2021: Taper to 3 mg.

Sep 2021 - Jan 2022: Taper to 2 mg.

Jan 2022: Stopped taking altogether.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's nice to hear that you're doing well. I wanted to know how your pssd worked? Was it in waves or was he always bad? And did you go through that? Thank you.

 2015 г. - 21 января 2022 г. ксанакс(алпразолам(ксанакс)) 0,5 мг +/-   

2015- 21.10.05(10.05.2021) Ципралекс 10 мг (снят с учета ?CT)

2022 - Добавлен тразадон 22.02.22 Отказался от тразадона 16.04.22.22.16 Габапентин для сна, очень редко. 300мг на 1 месяц 2 таблетки

2022 г. - конец апреля или май, возобновление приема ципралекса (эсциталопрама) 20 мг (хотим снизить дозу ципралекса до 10 мг) 7 августа - снижение дозы эсциталопрама 18 мг

21.08.2222 г. я снизил дозу Ципралекса до 16,2мг.

2015 г. - 21 января 2022 г. ксанакс (алпразолам (ксанакс)) 0,5 мг +/-   

2015- 21.10.21(10.05.2021) Ципралекс 10 мг (снят с производства ?CT)

2022 - Добавлен тразадон 22.02.22 Отказался от тразадона 16.04.22.22.16 Габапентин для сна, очень редко. 300мг на 1 месяц 2 таблетки

2022 г. - конец апреля или май, возобновление приема ципралекса 20 мг (хочу снизить дозу ципралекса до 10 мг) 7 августа - снижение дозы эсциталопрама 18 мг 21 августа - 16,2 мг, 28 августа - 15 мг

Переведено с помощью www.DeepL.com. Прежде чем переводить, просмотрите этот пост как «оригинал».

Я отказался от всех психотропных таблеток. 04.12.2023 перескочила с дозы 1мг.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, Tolk90 said:

It's nice to hear that you're doing well. I wanted to know how your pssd worked? Was it in waves or was he always bad? And did you go through that? Thank you.

It was pretty much always really bad. Most of the time for the whole years long process it was very bad. There might have been the occasional moments where it was slightly less awful, but at no point was it ever good again (until now!!)

 

So pretty much no real windows and waves with the pssd. It was only really about a year and a half ago when I noticed some very significant improvements. I just sort of woke up one morning feeling very horny. The strength of my sex drive continued to increase to the point where I felt comfortable enough to pursue sex again. Then I hit it off with a partner and it all just worked as it is, no performance issues at all.

 

I'd say I have definitely overcome the pssd now as my sex life is great. I guess even now there are times where I feel less horny than others, but the vast majority of the time I'm feeling good and ready to go.

 

I hope this gives people some hope, as it's gotten so so so so much better for me so I don't see why it can't for everyone else too. I have my sex life back now and it's great

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everyone has these symptoms so strikingly that I'm trying to find people who have it the same way as me. I have stopped taking Citalopram for 5.5 months, and my condition is constantly different. Sometimes I feel desire, sometimes anxiety rises to such values that I just can't get excited. Or the process of arousal in this state is excessively aggressive, which causes more discomfort than satisfaction. Anyway, it's nice to know that people are reaching the finish line.

 2015 г. - 21 января 2022 г. ксанакс(алпразолам(ксанакс)) 0,5 мг +/-   

2015- 21.10.05(10.05.2021) Ципралекс 10 мг (снят с учета ?CT)

2022 - Добавлен тразадон 22.02.22 Отказался от тразадона 16.04.22.22.16 Габапентин для сна, очень редко. 300мг на 1 месяц 2 таблетки

2022 г. - конец апреля или май, возобновление приема ципралекса (эсциталопрама) 20 мг (хотим снизить дозу ципралекса до 10 мг) 7 августа - снижение дозы эсциталопрама 18 мг

21.08.2222 г. я снизил дозу Ципралекса до 16,2мг.

2015 г. - 21 января 2022 г. ксанакс (алпразолам (ксанакс)) 0,5 мг +/-   

2015- 21.10.21(10.05.2021) Ципралекс 10 мг (снят с производства ?CT)

2022 - Добавлен тразадон 22.02.22 Отказался от тразадона 16.04.22.22.16 Габапентин для сна, очень редко. 300мг на 1 месяц 2 таблетки

2022 г. - конец апреля или май, возобновление приема ципралекса 20 мг (хочу снизить дозу ципралекса до 10 мг) 7 августа - снижение дозы эсциталопрама 18 мг 21 августа - 16,2 мг, 28 августа - 15 мг

Переведено с помощью www.DeepL.com. Прежде чем переводить, просмотрите этот пост как «оригинал».

Я отказался от всех психотропных таблеток. 04.12.2023 перескочила с дозы 1мг.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi @3BBsGurkPog

Congratulations on recovery!

I'm very, very happy for you. 

Thank you so much for coming back to share the good news of your success story!

It means so much to know that healing is possible, and probable. 

Wishing you the very best, may you continue to enjoy life and make the most of your hard-earned freedom!

Gratefully,

A. 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

August 2021 - 2mg melatonin   August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin   March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin

2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp cod liver oil blend (incl. vit. A+D+E) w/ breakfast; calcium; vitamin C+zinc

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Ariel said:

Hi @3BBsGurkPog

Congratulations on recovery!

I'm very, very happy for you. 

Thank you so much for coming back to share the good news of your success story!

It means so much to know that healing is possible, and probable. 

Wishing you the very best, may you continue to enjoy life and make the most of your hard-earned freedom!

Gratefully,

A. 

Thanks for the message my friend. It means a lot for you to say it's hard earned but it really is. It's the hardest thing I have ever done, and will ever do, in my life but it's also my greatest achievement. Please try to keep going, because if you keep going eventually you will find the light at the end of the tunnel like I did. I truly believe that healing is not just probable, but will definitely happen!! It's just a matter of time. The hardest moments just show that it is happening. I always found the biggest improvements right after a really bad period so just try to get through the bad moments as best you can and remember that healing will happen eventually. Best wishes and lots of love!

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, 3BBsGurkPog said:

It means a lot for you to say it's hard earned but it really is. It's the hardest thing I have ever done, and will ever do, in my life but it's also my greatest achievement.

 

For sure, 3BB. You get all the gold medals! 

 

That's one of the best things about this community, we truly understand what it's like and what it takes to get through. We're able to commiserate and celebrate with each other from a place of deep empathy and compassion. Maybe it's impossible to imagine unless one has personally experienced it, I don't know. 

 

Just yesterday I tried telling a close friend about WD and my experience/history of psych drugs. I've been dealing with PAWS for years, and this was the first opportunity there was for me to share. My friend listened patiently; she told me she felt sad I was suffering and that she wishes for me to get better. She was kind enough, and yet some part of me felt frustrated and vulnerable and lonely because it seemed like she didn't really get it. I was missing the part where she said, 

I'm so, so sorry this happened to you

WTF, this is so messed up, I am *shocked* to hear that this is happening in the world, where do I sign up to protest psychiatry and the psychopharmacological industrial complex?!! 

 

I was missing that recognition and validation of the trauma and sheer wrong-ness of the devastation we deal with. This suffering is such bullsh*t. 

 

Sometimes you just need to hear someone say, I'm so sorry this happened to you

Sometimes you just need to hear someone get outraged on your behalf and say, WTF, that is not okay! And maybe even, I will fight for you. 

Sometimes you just need to hear someone say, I see your hard work and I promise you, you are a champion, you are a rock star, you are doing the most. 

 

So yeah, 3BB, all of the above.

You are an absolute WINNER, and you have earned your place at the finish line, and on the podium. 

 

Love and respect, 

A.

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

August 2021 - 2mg melatonin   August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin   March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin

2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp cod liver oil blend (incl. vit. A+D+E) w/ breakfast; calcium; vitamin C+zinc

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, Ariel said:

 

For sure, 3BB. You get all the gold medals! 

 

That's one of the best things about this community, we truly understand what it's like and what it takes to get through. We're able to commiserate and celebrate with each other from a place of deep empathy and compassion. Maybe it's impossible to imagine unless one has personally experienced it, I don't know. 

 

Just yesterday I tried telling a close friend about WD and my experience/history of psych drugs. I've been dealing with PAWS for years, and this was the first opportunity there was for me to share. My friend listened patiently; she told me she felt sad I was suffering and that she wishes for me to get better. She was kind enough, and yet some part of me felt frustrated and vulnerable and lonely because it seemed like she didn't really get it. I was missing the part where she said, 

I'm so, so sorry this happened to you

WTF, this is so messed up, I am *shocked* to hear that this is happening in the world, where do I sign up to protest psychiatry and the psychopharmacological industrial complex?!! 

 

I was missing that recognition and validation of the trauma and sheer wrong-ness of the devastation we deal with. This suffering is such bullsh*t. 

 

Sometimes you just need to hear someone say, I'm so sorry this happened to you

Sometimes you just need to hear someone get outraged on your behalf and say, WTF, that is not okay! And maybe even, I will fight for you. 

Sometimes you just need to hear someone say, I see your hard work and I promise you, you are a champion, you are a rock star, you are doing the most. 

 

So yeah, 3BB, all of the above.

You are an absolute WINNER, and you have earned your place at the finish line, and on the podium. 

 

Love and respect, 

A.

Yeah I can massively relate to that. I have only really told one person and luckily for me they really got it. She expressed huge anger at the pharmaceutical companies on my behalf so even though she doesn't understand all of the details I still felt validated. You deserve a medal too for keeping going despite all the horrific stuff that's going on.

 

I have to admit that my rage with doctors and pharmaceutical companies has cooled a little bit. Don't get me wrong I'm still absolutely furious about the way that we have all been treated, but now that my symptoms are gone and I have my life back, the anger is less intense as I can just get on with life. Eventually you will reach that point too and it's amazing when it comes. You will get to be a whole person again, and subjects like symptoms, doctors and pharmaceutical companies will be at the back of your mind as you will be too busy enjoying your life once again. Please remember that this is definitely going to happen for you eventually and you won't be able to believe how good it is, when it does happen for you. Keep going, gold medal for you for keeping going.

 

Just remember there are people here who understand what it's like, so you can always reach out here if you need someone who understands.

 

All my love to you ❤️

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m glad you’re healed & you came back to tell us, that means a lot. I’m 2 years off & still going through it.

 

my question is did you experience fear of everything, constant racing intrusive thoughts, akathesia? 

April 2022- Only 1 celxa pill 10mg

had an adverse reaction & never took anymore again 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, peaceandlove said:

I’m glad you’re healed & you came back to tell us, that means a lot. I’m 2 years off & still going through it.

 

my question is did you experience fear of everything, constant racing intrusive thoughts, akathesia? 

I did unfortunately but like everything else, it went away. I am calm, relaxed and free from anxiety now. Two years off is a long time and I know how hard it is. All I will say is that if the average human lives for 80 odd years (I don't know what the average life expectancy is) 2 years of suffering is worth it if you get your life back and you enjoy many years of health and happiness, which you will. It took my 4 years to recover, but to be here now, happy and healthy, all the pain i went through was worth it Think of this time as laying the foundations for a brighter future, which when you heal (which you definitely will) will be so worth it.

 

You will get your life back, and when you do you will be so glad you stuck with it.

 

I guess another thing to say on the anxiety is that it went away quicker than the other symptoms. In the later years in the anxiety was gone but the other symptoms still lingered. They all went away eventually, and they will do for you too 100%

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, 3BBsGurkPog said:

I did unfortunately but like everything else, it went away. I am calm, relaxed and free from anxiety now. Two years off is a long time and I know how hard it is. All I will say is that if the average human lives for 80 odd years (I don't know what the average life expectancy is) 2 years of suffering is worth it if you get your life back and you enjoy many years of health and happiness, which you will. It took my 4 years to recover, but to be here now, happy and healthy, all the pain i went through was worth it Think of this time as laying the foundations for a brighter future, which when you heal (which you definitely will) will be so worth it.

 

You will get your life back, and when you do you will be so glad you stuck with it.

 

I guess another thing to say on the anxiety is that it went away quicker than the other symptoms. In the later years in the anxiety was gone but the other symptoms still lingered. They all went away eventually, and they will do for you too 100%


Thank you. I appreciate your response so much, it gives me hope. Congratulations again & enjoy your new life 🙂

April 2022- Only 1 celxa pill 10mg

had an adverse reaction & never took anymore again 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my gosh I’m so happy for you!!! Thank you so much for sharing your recovery story it’s so helpful and inspiring and hopeful. Go ride that rollercoaster we call life and I wish you all the best❤️❤️❤️

~Amy

SERTRALINE current taper

Oct 10, 2021: 18.75 mg dose/ 60mg weight; Nov 7, 2021: 15.6 mg dose/50mg weight; Nov 21, 2021: 12.5mg dose/40mg weight

Dec 26, 2021: 9.4 mg dose/30mg weight; Jan 23, 2022: 6.25mg dose/20mg weight; Feb 13, 2022: crossover from 6.25mg dose tablet to 6.25mg dose/.31ml liquid; Mar 13 2022: 0.28 ml; Mar 27, 2022: 0.25ml (5 mg dose if my math is correct); Apr 3, 2022: 0.23ml; Apr 10, 2022: 0.22ml; Apr 16,2022: 0.20ml; Jun 5, 2022: 0.19 ml; June 19, 2022: 0.18ml; Sep 25, 2022: 0.17ml; Oct 23, 2022: 0.16ml; Nov 20, 2022: 0.15 ml; Jan 22, 20230.14ml; slowly decreased over last year to Feb 1, 2024: 0.10ml; Apr 28, 2024: 0.09ml;

 

SUPPLEMENTS

Daily: Fish Oil, Magnesium, micronized Progesterone 100mg

Periodically or as needed:  Allegra, Ibuprofen, Vitamin C, B-Complex, probiotics, Quercetin, Nasalcrom,  Stinging Nettle, Vit D

Sertaline Up and down mess: 2021, July 14: 25 mg, 2021, Mar 17: 18.75 mg, 2021, Mar 9: 12.5 mg, 2021, Mar 1: 25 mg, 2020, May 29: 37.5 mg, 2020, Feb 19: 25 mg, 2020, Feb 1: 18.75 mg, 2019, Nov 2: 12.5 mg, 2019, Oct 18: 6.25 mg 

ESCITALOPRAM (generic Lexapro) Sep 2017-June 2019  from 0-5 mg

Final taper: 5 mg > 2.5mg, then 2.5 every other day, then stop)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, zma1 said:

Oh my gosh I’m so happy for you!!! Thank you so much for sharing your recovery story it’s so helpful and inspiring and hopeful. Go ride that rollercoaster we call life and I wish you all the best❤️❤️❤️

~Amy

Thank you Amy this is so lovely to hear. Thanks for all the love ❤️ ❤️❤️. I'm really feeling it and I send my love back to you and all here on this site as well. I just want everyone to experience the great recovery that I have, and I'm sure with enough time and determination we all will. Whatever you're going through, I wish you a wonderful recovery and I know that you will get to enjoy that life too eventually. There is definitely every reason to have hope because me and many others have healed so I truly believe everyone will eventually. I'm just going to state it again, you definitely will heal! Lots of love from 3BBs

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How long did it take for you to start feeling your emotions again? Thank you for this post.

  • 2011 (age 10) - 2019 100mg Sertraline then cold turkey'd. Took it very sporadically. 
  • June 2021 - July 2022 50mg Sertraline then cold turkey'd again
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, princefan777 said:

How long did it take for you to start feeling your emotions again? Thank you for this post.

Hi there. The short answer to this is a very long time. Probably around 4 years off the ssri was when I first noticed some improvements with my emotions. Even now I still have the odd periods where my emotions feel flat and numb, but it's improved massively. I can feel the full range of emotions again and that is there 90% of the time now I'd say. It is one of the symptoms that took the longest amount of time to improve. There was a period around 3 to 4 years off the ssri where a lot of the other symptoms had gone but my emotions were still flat and numb. But yeah, for me it took 4 years before I started to notice any improvements with my emotions. But I do want to stress again that my emotions are back now and here the vast majority of the time. I had a long time where I felt totally hopeless like my emotions were gone forever but it did improve massively to where it is today and I have the full range back. You will get your emotions back too eventually, it just takes some time. It does take a long time unfortunately but it will be worth it when it does. Best wishes

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, 3BBsGurkPog said:

Hi there. The short answer to this is a very long time. Probably around 4 years off the ssri was when I first noticed some improvements with my emotions. Even now I still have the odd periods where my emotions feel flat and numb, but it's improved massively. I can feel the full range of emotions again and that is there 90% of the time now I'd say. It is one of the symptoms that took the longest amount of time to improve. There was a period around 3 to 4 years off the ssri where a lot of the other symptoms had gone but my emotions were still flat and numb. But yeah, for me it took 4 years before I started to notice any improvements with my emotions. But I do want to stress again that my emotions are back now and here the vast majority of the time. I had a long time where I felt totally hopeless like my emotions were gone forever but it did improve massively to where it is today and I have the full range back. You will get your emotions back too eventually, it just takes some time. It does take a long time unfortunately but it will be worth it when it does. Best wishes

this is how it’s been for me it’s been so scary, over time did you have more and more frequent windows of emotions? I felt a window last night for a few hours but it seems it’s passed.

January 2023-October 2023 Sertraline 50mgs stopped cold Turkey no side effects

 

Late March-2024-Current Prozac for anxiety (20mgs) after 4 weeks went down to (10mgs) and currently still on that

 

Late March 2024-Propranolol for Anxiety/Panic Attack (I don’t take this medication daily only if I feel symptoms coming on) 

 

I took ADHD medication when I was younger in 2016 but I haven’t been back on anything like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/13/2024 at 10:26 PM, 3BBsGurkPog said:

Hi all, I'm just checking back in here after a long time away from this site to share my good news. In the last year and a half to two years I would say I have experienced a very very good and stable recovery from the horrific ssri withdrawal that I'm sure all here are all too familiar with.

 

Edit by staff: You can read @3BBsGurkPog's introduction thread here:

 

I'll try and give a little bit of background about my story. I am 30 years old and I've been off the drugs for 5 and a half years now. I took citalopram (an ssri) for 3 years and around 9 months. I very gradually cut the dose over a 9 month period. I went from 20 milligrams a day down to 10. It took about 3 months for me to stabilise on that. Then I would gradually cut that dose down by breaking off parts of the tablets. I would reduce the dose roughly every 6 weeks but only by very small amounts. Difficult to measure the doses at this point but I kept going down until I was taking only very small fragments of the 10 milligram pills.

 

I don't want to list symptoms but I really did have all the bad ones. Luckily I never experienced the brain zaps but apart from that I really did have everything, including really bad PSSD. The withdrawal symptoms lasted around 4 years with a pattern of windows and waves. I know everyone's experience is unique to them but I want to make it very clear that this was not a mild set of symptoms for me. It was really bad, and for a long time I was literally bed bound and unable to work. Such bad fatigue, brain fog, all that awful stuff. Again I won't list all but I just want to make it clear how bad it was.

 

Probably about a year ago I first started to notice what felt like a significant and stable recovery. Something that is steady and lasting and not just a window.

 

So how am I feeling now? For the last year I have been feeling really happy and healthy. I can feel my emotions again and experience joy. I can listen to music and really feel it again. 90% of the time I sleep really well and get great restorative sleep. I still get the occasional night of poor sleep, but that's a normal part of life I'd say.

 

My sex life has improved massively. I had severe PSSD but now that has improved a lot. I have a great sex drive now, with strong orgasms and I have sex regularly and it's great. I still get the occasional times where I'm not feeling it, but only very rarely these days and the vast majority of the time I'm feeling good.

 

 

I can't even remember all of the details of the withdrawal but life now is great. I really feel like I am through the other side and have found the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like my recovery is here. I guess there is probably still the very occasional lingering effect, where my emotions might feel a little bit flat for a while. But it's only very brief and a couple of weeks later I'll be back to my usual happy self. I guess this proves that recovery really does happen. There were times where I was 100% convinced that I was never going to recover, so to be sat here now feeling great truly is amazing.

 

I would say I had about 4 years of really bad withdrawal. The worst of which were actually later in the process. I remember when I was about 3 years off the drugs I was having terrible terrible symptoms and I couldn't believe it was so bad after such a long time off the drugs. I guess the darkest hour is followed by dawn. What I later realised though was that the worse the symptoms were, the greater the recovery was when it finally did come. If I can offer a little bit of comfort it's that if you are experiencing awful symptoms, it means your brain and body are in the process of recovery and that recovery will come for you eventually.

 

I feel like I'm not great at writing and expressing myself here but the summary is that I've experienced a really really good recovery and I've got my life back. All the symptoms have gone now and I'm getting on with life. Really enjoying it and I'm living a life that I never thought was possible a couple of years ago.

 

Recovery really does happen, so always remember that.

 

I love you all and you will get your life back too. If anyone has any questions do ask me im happy to help out.

 

Lots of love from 3BBs

Hi

 

Congratulations on your recovery. It must have felt like a miracle given how long you suffered. 
 

May I ask if you did anything differently in the period before your recovery? For example I know you wrote in 2020 that you had stopped having windows and waves, and it was mentioned that potentially your recovery had plateaued. I ask as I am almost 5 years out and seem to be where you were in terms of recovery in 2020. 
 

just interested to know if you did anything to help speed it up! 

Citalopram 20mg september 23 2019 - 29th September 2019

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, gummy808s said:

this is how it’s been for me it’s been so scary, over time did you have more and more frequent windows of emotions? I felt a window last night for a few hours but it seems it’s passed.

Hi there. It's difficult to say exactly. I'm not sure if there were more frequent windows but the windows I did have were better and lasted longer. I do have to say with the emotions it really did feel like it was never going to get better but it did. I know how hard it is but please hear it from me, as someone who has recovered, even if it feels like you'll never get your emotions back, at some point you will. That's exactly how I felt but they came back for me and they will for you too

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, keogh08 said:

Hi

 

Congratulations on your recovery. It must have felt like a miracle given how long you suffered. 
 

May I ask if you did anything differently in the period before your recovery? For example I know you wrote in 2020 that you had stopped having windows and waves, and it was mentioned that potentially your recovery had plateaued. I ask as I am almost 5 years out and seem to be where you were in terms of recovery in 2020. 
 

just interested to know if you did anything to help speed it up! 

Hey there, thanks for the kind words. It still feels like a miracle every day even though I've been feeling well for around a year and a half now. I just appreciate everything in life so much more now, and at some point you will too!

 

In terms of what I did, I didn't do anything differently throughout the whole period. So during the period of continuous symptoms I had in 2020, I didn't do anything differently to what I was doing before.

 

In my opinion, the idea of doing something differently to speed up a recovery is a bit of a myth. I say this because everyone seems to recover on different time lines anyway. You hear of some people recovering after a few months, Some after a year, some after two years and some who take longer. So I just think it's different for everybody and we will heal when we heal. I know that's not the greatest news but yeah, it's very difficult to put an exact time scale on recovery. It's such a non linear process and it seems like it's different for different people.

 

What I did do that helped was lots of exercise. I'm a runner and that definitely helped. Also getting involved in activities to keep you busy and keep your mind off WD. Having something else to focus on did help as it took me away from the symptoms temporarily while I was focusing on a task or activity. For me it was playing sports, but any club or activity woule be good. Like dance class or painting, whatever you're into. So i'd highly recommend doing something like that. But yeah getting busy is good (I appreciate sometimes the symptoms are so bad you can't because you're not well enough, I was literally bed bound and unable to work at one point, but for most of the 4 years I was suffering I was still able to function).

 

Probably the biggest thing that helped was hearing other people's success stories, because that gave me hope. Having the hope and evidence that healing is possible definitely helped me to cary on. So year regularly reading success stories helped.

 

My diet wasn't always the greatest, and I still managed to heal. But eating good food definitely helps. So I would recommend that as well.

 

In terms of my post in 2020, one of the moderators suggested I was at a plateau. I'm not sure if I really see it that way. Looking back it seems like it was more of a phase of the recovery rather than a plateau. I truly believe that every moment you're experiencing symptoms, your brain and body and trying to fix themselves and go back to how they should be. I have heard other people report that they have had an extended period of continuous symptoms without the windows and waves. After a good few months of that though it did go back to the windows and waves pattern. But I don't think it was a plateau because I truly believe that every second we are off the drugs and experience symptoms that's a sign that our body and mind is trying to heal.

 

I hope some of this is helpful, but the biggest thing I'd say is please don't get disheartened by the time lines. Just because I recovered in 4 years and you're still going through it after 5 and a half years, that doesn't mean that you won't recover eventually. There's really no way of knowing how long it will take but I truly believe that everyone will heal eventually. So please keep going, keep reading the success stories and things will improve eventually. I think my post in 2020 shows I was really suffering but now I'm recovered, so that proves that you will recover too. Try not to focus on exact timings and time lines, but instead focus on the fact that eventually we do recover.

 

All of my love and best wishes to you, from 3BBs xx

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/19/2024 at 8:15 PM, 3BBsGurkPog said:

Hi there. The short answer to this is a very long time. Probably around 4 years off the ssri was when I first noticed some improvements with my emotions. Even now I still have the odd periods where my emotions feel flat and numb, but it's improved massively. I can feel the full range of emotions again and that is there 90% of the time now I'd say. It is one of the symptoms that took the longest amount of time to improve. There was a period around 3 to 4 years off the ssri where a lot of the other symptoms had gone but my emotions were still flat and numb. But yeah, for me it took 4 years before I started to notice any improvements with my emotions. But I do want to stress again that my emotions are back now and here the vast majority of the time. I had a long time where I felt totally hopeless like my emotions were gone forever but it did improve massively to where it is today and I have the full range back. You will get your emotions back too eventually, it just takes some time. It does take a long time unfortunately but it will be worth it when it does. Best wishes

Did you also feel very depersonalized/disassociated? Like even hearing your own voice sounded weird?

  • 2011 (age 10) - 2019 100mg Sertraline then cold turkey'd. Took it very sporadically. 
  • June 2021 - July 2022 50mg Sertraline then cold turkey'd again
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, princefan777 said:

Did you also feel very depersonalized/disassociated? Like even hearing your own voice sounded weird?

Yeah I definitely had that. I felt incredibly detached from reality and the world around me. Like I was not seeing the world around me in the way that everybody else was. Definitely had some weird stuff going on with my hearing as well. I'm fully recovered from that now though. I would also say that the depersonalization got better a lot quicker than some of the other symptoms. So there were quite a few years where I had recovered from the depersonalization but other symptoms were still lingering.

 

But the main take aways are that I have experienced a full recovery from that now, and it happened relatively quickly. Just try to keep going as best you can. With enough time we do recover

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, 3BBsGurkPog said:

Hey there, thanks for the kind words. It still feels like a miracle every day even though I've been feeling well for around a year and a half now. I just appreciate everything in life so much more now, and at some point you will too!

 

In terms of what I did, I didn't do anything differently throughout the whole period. So during the period of continuous symptoms I had in 2020, I didn't do anything differently to what I was doing before.

 

In my opinion, the idea of doing something differently to speed up a recovery is a bit of a myth. I say this because everyone seems to recover on different time lines anyway. You hear of some people recovering after a few months, Some after a year, some after two years and some who take longer. So I just think it's different for everybody and we will heal when we heal. I know that's not the greatest news but yeah, it's very difficult to put an exact time scale on recovery. It's such a non linear process and it seems like it's different for different people.

 

What I did do that helped was lots of exercise. I'm a runner and that definitely helped. Also getting involved in activities to keep you busy and keep your mind off WD. Having something else to focus on did help as it took me away from the symptoms temporarily while I was focusing on a task or activity. For me it was playing sports, but any club or activity woule be good. Like dance class or painting, whatever you're into. So i'd highly recommend doing something like that. But yeah getting busy is good (I appreciate sometimes the symptoms are so bad you can't because you're not well enough, I was literally bed bound and unable to work at one point, but for most of the 4 years I was suffering I was still able to function).

 

Probably the biggest thing that helped was hearing other people's success stories, because that gave me hope. Having the hope and evidence that healing is possible definitely helped me to cary on. So year regularly reading success stories helped.

 

My diet wasn't always the greatest, and I still managed to heal. But eating good food definitely helps. So I would recommend that as well.

 

In terms of my post in 2020, one of the moderators suggested I was at a plateau. I'm not sure if I really see it that way. Looking back it seems like it was more of a phase of the recovery rather than a plateau. I truly believe that every moment you're experiencing symptoms, your brain and body and trying to fix themselves and go back to how they should be. I have heard other people report that they have had an extended period of continuous symptoms without the windows and waves. After a good few months of that though it did go back to the windows and waves pattern. But I don't think it was a plateau because I truly believe that every second we are off the drugs and experience symptoms that's a sign that our body and mind is trying to heal.

 

I hope some of this is helpful, but the biggest thing I'd say is please don't get disheartened by the time lines. Just because I recovered in 4 years and you're still going through it after 5 and a half years, that doesn't mean that you won't recover eventually. There's really no way of knowing how long it will take but I truly believe that everyone will heal eventually. So please keep going, keep reading the success stories and things will improve eventually. I think my post in 2020 shows I was really suffering but now I'm recovered, so that proves that you will recover too. Try not to focus on exact timings and time lines, but instead focus on the fact that eventually we do recover.

 

All of my love and best wishes to you, from 3BBs xx

Thank you for getting back to me!

 

Did you always manage running ok? Or where there times where you experienced fatigue afterwards. 
 

I love to run, but I cannot do more than a couple of k without extended periods of fatigue and brain fog afterwards which makes it extremely difficult to truly heal. 
 

Do you have any lasting sensitivities to alcohol etc or are you completely healed? 
 

thanks

Citalopram 20mg september 23 2019 - 29th September 2019

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, keogh08 said:

Thank you for getting back to me!

 

Did you always manage running ok? Or where there times where you experienced fatigue afterwards. 
 

I love to run, but I cannot do more than a couple of k without extended periods of fatigue and brain fog afterwards which makes it extremely difficult to truly heal. 
 

Do you have any lasting sensitivities to alcohol etc or are you completely healed? 
 

thanks

Most of the time I did manage it okay, but it was a struggle, especially during my 'bed bound and unable to work' phase. If the running causes problems like brain fog and fatigue, maybe try going for a walk instead. Just getting outdoors is a good thing I would say, especially if you can find somewhere in nature to go for a walk.

 

As for sensitives to food, caffeine and alcohol, I did have that quite bad but I'm fully healed from that now. I drink coffee at work now with no issues and enjoy it, and I do drink alcohol as well. Also with no issues. The sensitivity to those things has gone completely and I can now enjoy those things without the sensitivity. So I do believe that those things will improve as well.

 

I have to say, I can't believe that these symptoms have gone for me, as while I was going through it, it really felt like it was never going to get better, but it did. So if it feels like that for you now, please know that I felt exactly the same for me as well but I did recover eventually. So I really believe that you will recover too xx

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, 3BBsGurkPog said:

Yeah I definitely had that. I felt incredibly detached from reality and the world around me. Like I was not seeing the world around me in the way that everybody else was. Definitely had some weird stuff going on with my hearing as well. I'm fully recovered from that now though. I would also say that the depersonalization got better a lot quicker than some of the other symptoms. So there were quite a few years where I had recovered from the depersonalization but other symptoms were still lingering.

 

But the main take aways are that I have experienced a full recovery from that now, and it happened relatively quickly. Just try to keep going as best you can. With enough time we do recover

Thanks for taking the time to answer and give some encouragement. I have one last question, did you drink alcohol during your recovery? I want to try drinking a little bit on the weekends to socialize, but I'm terrified of it causing a big setback.

  • 2011 (age 10) - 2019 100mg Sertraline then cold turkey'd. Took it very sporadically. 
  • June 2021 - July 2022 50mg Sertraline then cold turkey'd again
Link to comment
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, princefan777 said:

Thanks for taking the time to answer and give some encouragement. I have one last question, did you drink alcohol during your recovery? I want to try drinking a little bit on the weekends to socialize, but I'm terrified of it causing a big setback.

Hi, thanks for the kind words. Yes I did drink alcohol at times, although not the very bad times. When my symptoms were at their worst I avoided alcohol all together. But there were times throughout the recovery period where I would drink and attend social occasions. I think it's important to still try to have a bit of a life even while recovering and going to social events is part of that. I would advise caution when it comes to alcohol as you certainly don't want to wake up with a hangover, but I think having a few drinks is okay. I certainly did drink at times during my recovery and I still healed at the end of the day so I wouldn't say that drinking alcohol would set you back or stop you healing. I don't think it would undo any of the healing that's already happened either. But do be careful as too much alcohol is not good. I'm not going to recommend one thing or another but I'm just letting you know that I did drink at times during my recovery and I still ended up healing so hopefully that's useful information

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you very much! Very helpful!

gave a wonderful life🌹

1999-2000 1 year Fluvoxamine/Luvox/ stopped CT no witdrawal symtoms maybe 2 days brainzaps

2008-2018 10 years Prozac  30 mg. Stopped bacause I was getting depressed again, went to Pdoc en got Welbutrin cut down 20 % of Prozac

after 2 month when felt litlle better cut rest of Prozac. withdrawel set in.

2018- jan 2019 took welbutrin 150 mg, did not work, tapered off with taperingstrips in 4 month.

2 month AD free then started Fuvloxamine again on july 5th 2019

2020 added Lamotrigine 150 because it did not work.

march 10 2020 CT lamotrigine

April 2020 stop fluvoxamine with a 4 month taper

AD free since 29 July 2020

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am glad that you are recovered and happy.

 

How long were you bedridden for, and subsequently non-functional?

  • 15mg Remeron/Mirtazapine November starting 2022 (severe physical side effects)
  • Attempted to taper off January 2023, ended up having a major breakdown and going up to 30mg, took weeks to stabilise
  • Therapy and self-care helped a lot mentally while stable on the drug (but with bad physical side effects)
  • Tapered off over 4-5 weeks, felt physically better all through taper & sexual side effects & palpitations went away
  • Last dose 20-24th April 2023
  • Severely physically unwell from 2nd May 2023. Had many bad symptoms eg. Palpitations, adrenaline rushes at night etc in the weeks following and couldn't eat. 
  • Many symptoms eventually resolved, but left with severe and debilitating fatigue, poor sleep and sexual side effects.

 

Summary: 5 months using Mirtazapine, including 1 month taper ending late April 2023. Severe withdrawal since.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@3BBsGurkPog What was happening with your digestion. Did you have any gas, bloating, SIBO, constipation...?

2009-2010: Asentra (50 mg)

2011: Cipralex (10 mg)

2009-2011: tried Zyprexa (5/2.5mg), Kventiax  (50/25mg) and Abilify (low dosage) (started refusing it - being zombie)

CT Cipralex, being free for several moths

2012-2016: Prozac (60 mg)

2016-2017: Alventa (75 mg)

2016: just tried Cymbalta and Ludiomil

2017-2018: Mirtazapine (30/45mg)

2012-2018: Wellbutrine (300 mg)

2014-2018: Lamotrigine (50/100/150 mg) CT Wellbutrin, tapering lamitrogine and mirtazapine too fast

Supplements: B12, D, Mg, trying B3, B1

I know I wrote a lot of nonsense here. I'm sorry, I feel shamed!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, Prozack said:

@3BBsGurkPog What was happening with your digestion. Did you have any gas, bloating, SIBO, constipation...?

Hi, so I did have some stomach issues. Didn't really get bloating or constipation but I definitely had some problems digesting and my stomach feeling painful and uncomfortable. That got better I'd say around 2 years off. It's completely resolved itself now and I have no stomach issues at all. Had a full recovery from that. This issue did get better much quicker than some of the other symptoms so hopefully you will get some relief soon. All the best

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/25/2024 at 12:00 PM, LukeUK said:

I am glad that you are recovered and happy.

 

How long were you bedridden for, and subsequently non-functional?

I can't really remember exactly but I think it was about 6 months. I did reach a point where even though the symptoms were still there and it was still a struggle I was just about able to function. Through my recovery, the vast majority of the time I was able to function. So the bedridden stage was relatively short in the grand scheme of things. It was really bad though. But yeah it improved enough in a matter of months that I could start functioning again. So hopefully that will be the same for others as well. I guess it anyone is in that awful bedridden stage, try and remember that it will get better, and it should improve quicker than some of the other symptoms which linger for a little longer.

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/26/2024 at 12:58 PM, 3BBsGurkPog said:

I can't really remember exactly but I think it was about 6 months. I did reach a point where even though the symptoms were still there and it was still a struggle I was just about able to function. Through my recovery, the vast majority of the time I was able to function. So the bedridden stage was relatively short in the grand scheme of things. It was really bad though. But yeah it improved enough in a matter of months that I could start functioning again. So hopefully that will be the same for others as well. I guess it anyone is in that awful bedridden stage, try and remember that it will get better, and it should improve quicker than some of the other symptoms which linger for a little longer.

 

I see. Thank you for the reply.

 

Unfortunately I'm still in that stage and extremely physically ill at 13 months off.

  • 15mg Remeron/Mirtazapine November starting 2022 (severe physical side effects)
  • Attempted to taper off January 2023, ended up having a major breakdown and going up to 30mg, took weeks to stabilise
  • Therapy and self-care helped a lot mentally while stable on the drug (but with bad physical side effects)
  • Tapered off over 4-5 weeks, felt physically better all through taper & sexual side effects & palpitations went away
  • Last dose 20-24th April 2023
  • Severely physically unwell from 2nd May 2023. Had many bad symptoms eg. Palpitations, adrenaline rushes at night etc in the weeks following and couldn't eat. 
  • Many symptoms eventually resolved, but left with severe and debilitating fatigue, poor sleep and sexual side effects.

 

Summary: 5 months using Mirtazapine, including 1 month taper ending late April 2023. Severe withdrawal since.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, LukeUK said:

 

I see. Thank you for the reply.

 

Unfortunately I'm still in that stage and extremely physically ill at 13 months off.

I'm sorry to heat about that. It really is an awful place to be. It will improve eventually though. Try to remember that the bedridden stage, is only a stage in the recovery process and it was pass eventually. It is only a temporary period and you will reach a point where you are able to function again. Just try to remind yourself it's only temporary and keep going as best you can. It does get better.

Was on citalopram from January 2015 to October 2018. Tapered down from 20mg to 10 from winter 2017 till summer 2018, then tapered from 10 mg Down to 0 halfing does every 6 weeks. Have been off the medication for around 5 and a half years now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did you have POTS ?

April 2022- Only 1 celxa pill 10mg

had an adverse reaction & never took anymore again 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy