Deep despair, dread, doom, horror

[Shane88L]

Every single day since quitting zyprexa cold turkey. Dp/Dr is horrible, isn't it... Those existential, unremitting thoughts are so tiring, aren't they?

I have come to understand more about it and why I have it though, so I'll share what I've learned.

 

Depersonalization/Derealization is anxiety that is tied with obsessive rumination, a sensitized nervous system (due to stress that has been gathering for quite some time) and a trigger (eg. medication/drugs, marijuana, a traumatic event etc.)

It is essentially three things; Obsession, Anxiety and Trauma. Your current sensitized body state is causing your alarm system to constantly trigger (corticols, and all those nasty chemicals are going around your body), which causes the horrible thoughts, which causes more stress, and the cycle continues.

 

Dp/Dr feels horrible, but it is simply a dissociative disorder on the mild end of the spectrum.

I still have Dp/Dr every day, but that's ok. Time, self-care, diet, sleep, being around healthy and kind people are the cure.

Having  depersonalization is really, really tough... It feels like hell. Dreams for me are almost more real than reality itself, and they always stay in my mind even after weeks have passed. 

It is something that will get better with time, and self-care though.

 

I feel for anyone going through this! 

 

Kindest regards.

[gardenlady]

Even worse than the dp/dr for me is the existential doom and dread that is so terrifying I can't describe it.  It's not anything that I ever knew existed before psych drugs.  It's like a preview of hell (as described in the Bible) here on earth...complete outer darkness and permanent alienation from God.  Even just describing it as doom and dread is insufficient....like describing labor pains as a cramp.  It's far more terrifying than words can encompass. 

[UnfoldingSky]

I had a feeling of outright terror, and that was one of the worst symptoms. It was beyond anything I could imagine even existing, and it felt like hell on Earth for me too.  It made pretty well any awful situation I had been through before that (and there were many) look like a walk in the park.  Thankfully it does go away.  To be honest it is one of the reasons why I think the use of psychiatric drugs that cause it should be grandfathered off the market, never given to people who had not taken them before, so that they are slowly phased out over time, as there is no really adequate way to warn someone of just how wretched things can get if they either don't tolerate the pills or they wind up with withdrawal issues that are severe. Words do not capture how bad that feeling of terror was.  I hope this improves for you really soon gardenlady and for everyone else here. 

[gardenlady]

Thanks for understanding, Unfolding.  It's rare that anyone can. 

[Katy398]

7 hours ago, gardenlady said:

for me is the existential doom and dread that is so terrifying I can't describe it

 

5 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

I had a feeling of outright terror, and that was one of the worst symptoms. It was beyond anything I could imagine even existing, and it felt like hell on Earth for me too. 

Please help I'm going through this right now and need some support. I get it on and off most days, some are worst than others. Today is 'hell' . It's hard to imagine these feelings will ever  go away. I really need some encouragement, I'm struggling. @UnfoldingSkycan you remember how  long it lasted, I'm about 10 months of this and it's terrifying for everyone, my family as well. My poor kids. I can't reinstate it's too late. 

Best wishes to you all, sorry i can't be of any more support right now, this terror is off the scale. I do not have the eloquence to describe it. I feel like the archetypal mad women locked in the attic.

[Shane88L]

I know that horrible feeling, and I can say that it passes. I always said to my wife that it was a feeling that doesn't have any way to describe it given our limited language... Pure hell indeed.

It went away for me after many months after cold turkey from that drug zyprexa. It won't last forever.

[gardenlady]

Katy,  I am so very, very sorry that you are experiencing this terror....believe me, I understand.  I still have it most days when in bed for hours and hours because I can't sleep.  I cry out to God and recite one of the Psalms or other bible verses.  I honestly think these are demonic forces that make in-roads to us through these hideous drugs.  For me, it's a spiritual battle so I have to keep going back to God as He is the only One with the power to deal with it.  Just concentrate on staying alive even if you have to do it from one minute to the next.  

 

I've had this for about 5 years and it's still ongoing as I'm still tapering Cymbalta.  At least you're off the drug so perhaps this symptom will ease up in a few months.  I'm way behind you so can't offer any help in how long it lasts as I'm still on the offending drug. 

[Onmyway]

On 12/7/2019 at 3:36 AM, gardenlady said:

The symptom that troubles me most is one I don't hear people mention much.  It's a pervasive, non-stop sense of existential doom and dread.  I've had it for three years and it gets worse the lower in my AD dose that I go.  I also had it when I tapered a benzo. I'm tapering Cymbalta very, very slowly but this symptom as well as akathisia, sleep inversion (unable to sleep at night...only in the day), depersonalization and derealization are unremitting.  I've never had a window and these symptoms are so severe that I'm not able to socialize at all and have to stay isolated because of it.  

 

I've not found anything that helps with any of these symptoms.  Does anyone else have this unceasing existential doom and dread?  It's worse when I'm in bed as I lie awake for hours before falling asleep and then sleep only 1 or 2 hours at a time.  When I wake up, I have the immediate doom and dread and sometimes I wonder how long I can keep on like this as it gets only worse despite a very, very slow taper.   I often feel like I'm going insane because of it.  

Hi gardenlady,

I've had this as well and it got better with holding for me but comes back when I make cuts. The best thing that made a small difference but difference nonetheless was distraction of whatever kind you can imagine. Even getting out of bed and to the couch, walks, reading/tv whatever you can when you can. I found the trick was not to expect to feel better as that would invariably lead to disappointment but to basically hope to get through the minutes and hours and finally to the next day where you repeat. I wonder if you need to cut slower even or hold longer. Holds did help me get brief windows - a three month hold at least for me. I hope you get a big bright window soon.

[UnfoldingSky]

On 12/8/2019 at 1:03 AM, gardenlady said:

Thanks for understanding, Unfolding.  It's rare that anyone can. 

 

No problem gardenlady. It is always so upsetting that others continue to go  through this, who even knew such a thing was possible.

[UnfoldingSky]

23 hours ago, Katy398 said:

 

Please help I'm going through this right now and need some support. I get it on and off most days, some are worst than others. Today is 'hell' . It's hard to imagine these feelings will ever  go away. I really need some encouragement, I'm struggling. @UnfoldingSkycan you remember how  long it lasted, I'm about 10 months of this and it's terrifying for everyone, my family as well. My poor kids. I can't reinstate it's too late. 

Best wishes to you all, sorry i can't be of any more support right now, this terror is off the scale. I do not have the eloquence to describe it. I feel like the archetypal mad women locked in the attic.

Hi Katy, it was many months for me too before it went away, but then I was still on some pills much of that time that were not sitting well with me.  I'd expect and hope it will go faster then for you as my drug history was more extensive than yours (thirteen drugs, numerous drug reactions that were severe, cold turkey, then years of benzos where I could barely remember anything and had other troubles too.)  When you recover too you can barely even recall what it was like, I know it must sound surprising, but, it is true. You will get there too!  Also one thing that would help me pass the time was to look at photos of places I wanted to visit when I recovered, even if it seemed impossible I might ever go there, didn't have the money etc, it helped quite a lot in really rough patches.  I would also keep photos near my bed for when I woke up of things or people that were pleasing, as I would get cortisol spikes in the morning, and the irrational fear would attach itself to whatever idea I had in my mind at the time, so to counteract that and try to get back to sleep I'd just look at the photos.  It did work to get me back to sleep.

 

[UnfoldingSky]

20 hours ago, gardenlady said:

Katy,  I am so very, very sorry that you are experiencing this terror....believe me, I understand.  I still have it most days when in bed for hours and hours because I can't sleep.  I cry out to God and recite one of the Psalms or other bible verses.  I honestly think these are demonic forces that make in-roads to us through these hideous drugs.  For me, it's a spiritual battle so I have to keep going back to God as He is the only One with the power to deal with it.  Just concentrate on staying alive even if you have to do it from one minute to the next.  

 

I've had this for about 5 years and it's still ongoing as I'm still tapering Cymbalta.  At least you're off the drug so perhaps this symptom will ease up in a few months.  I'm way behind you so can't offer any help in how long it lasts as I'm still on the offending drug. 

 

gardenlady, it felt like that for me too, like it was a spiritual battle.  I used to pray and pray, because I felt I had no real power of my own to deal with it.  When I was first hurt by pills there was little in the way of online resources so I didn't even realize anyone ever HAD gotten better from it, so I actually lived for a period of time with zero hope at all that i would get better.  Then I found some others who had had the same experience and slowly began to learn that people did improve, and finally I did too.  I pray your improvement comes soon. 

[gardenlady]

5 hours ago, Onmyway said:

I wonder if you need to cut slower even or hold longer. Holds did help me get brief windows - a three month hold at least for me. I hope you get a big bright window soon.

Thanks for all that you wrote, Onmyway.  I found when tapering benzos and also the AD, holding doesn't help...it merely puts off the inevitable.  When I did hold, the minute I started cutting again, the horrific symptoms started up again.  Plus, I've never stabilized while holding because, I think, it's the presence of the drug making me sick.  We are all different, but holding doesn't help me at all even though that's what virtually everyone recommends.  I have to do what I know is right for me, even if it goes against the grain and conventional wisdom.  I am already tapering at a glacial pace and if I went any slower, I'd have to stop.  Even so, I have symptoms rendering me non-functional.  I happen to be one of those people who has awful symptoms despite a very, very slow and steady taper.   Thanks, though, for sharing your experience and for giving hope to us who are still tapering and consuming the neurotoxins.  

[gardenlady]

22 minutes ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

gardenlady, it felt like that for me too, like it was a spiritual battle.  I used to pray and pray, because I felt I had no real power of my own to deal with it.  When I was first hurt by pills there was little in the way of online resources so I didn't even realize anyone ever HAD gotten better from it, so I actually lived for a period of time with zero hope at all that i would get better.  Then I found some others who had had the same experience and slowly began to learn that people did improve, and finally I did too.  I pray your improvement comes soon. 

Thanks, again, unfolding.  You are a dear!!!

[Katy398]

Thank you @UnfoldingSky and @gardenlady,

Just now, UnfoldingSky said:

Just concentrate on staying alive even if you have to do it from one minute to the next.  

You're right all I can do is try to stay alive. Most people who say they want to die  don't actually want to die, they just what whatever pain they are experiencing to stop. I keep reminding ,myself of this and that allegedly we all heal  eventually.  I have to stay alive for my boys but it's so so painful. Having folk here who understand does help. I am scared though,  I was never really that strong a person pre- meds so  it's all pretty daunting, how will someone like me get through this? 

Hang on in there folks. Thank you for being there.

Kx

[Katy398]

Oh Gardenlady, I'm so sorry you are struggling so much. I don't know what to suggest. I often wonder if slow taper and holding just prolongs the pain for some people, but then again we have all the cold turkey horror stories to take heed of as well.  I guess there really is no way of knowing, we just have to take each day step by step and as unfoldingsky said,  we have to focus on staying alive, which we can only do one minute at a time.  

I really feel for you, still tapering and going through this, your  following the book and still suffering, whereas I have cold turkey to blame for this, albeit psychiatrist assisted Cold Turkey. Do the moderators have any advice for you. Just remember what you are going through each day is definitely WD and not the real you. 

You've come so far there has to be some reprieve for you soon.  

Take care thinking of you 

much love Kx

[mstimc]

I know exactly what you guys are talking about.  Before and during my taper I had the same thing, manifesting especially in anything health-related.  At any given time, I thought I had a brain tumor, kidney cancer, oral cancer, and everything else.  I must have driven my GP nuts.  I was especially afraid of those diseases that don't have any symptoms until you're on death's door.  I can look back and see how silly it was then, but at the time each was as real and as frightening as it could be. 

 

The best way I can describe it is the feeling of being a trapped animal in a small cage, with no possibility of getting out and being free.  There was a tremendous amount of  negative energy in my body with nowhere to send it. It was exhausting and depressing.

 

Getting past the catastrophic thoughts took time and help.  My psychologist told me to picture my anxiety and OCD as a ball of a certain weight.  No matter how I divided it up, it still weighed the same and needed to be "put" somewhere.  I was caught up in a habit he called "scanning"; I'd get past one crisis and then go looking for another one to throw that weight.   Being able to picture my thoughts as a weight helped me understand and recognize them.  The other thing that helped was time.  Simply put, I didn't die or get sick from all the things I thought I had.  I didn't get fired when I made a mistake at work.  None of the terrible things I created happened.  Eventually I realized that even though I still had the thoughts, they weren't realistic.

 

The key for me was realizing I created the thoughts.   I certainly didn't choose to, but they still came from my brain and thought patterns.  What I created, I could control or ignore.  Sometimes, I'd give myself permission to freak out for a certain period of time, and then tell myself I could move on.  It truly does take time and thought practice, but you can break out of it!

[Onmyway]

2 hours ago, gardenlady said:

Thanks for all that you wrote, Onmyway.  I found when tapering benzos and also the AD, holding doesn't help...it merely puts off the inevitable.  When I did hold, the minute I started cutting again, the horrific symptoms started up again.  Plus, I've never stabilized while holding because, I think, it's the presence of the drug making me sick.  We are all different, but holding doesn't help me at all even though that's what virtually everyone recommends.  I have to do what I know is right for me, even if it goes against the grain and conventional wisdom.  I am already tapering at a glacial pace and if I went any slower, I'd have to stop.  Even so, I have symptoms rendering me non-functional.  I happen to be one of those people who has awful symptoms despite a very, very slow and steady taper.   Thanks, though, for sharing your experience and for giving hope to us who are still tapering and consuming the neurotoxins.  

I totally understand. If the drug is causing the symptoms you don't want to hold longer. Hope it gets better as you go lower and lower.

[Katy398]

I'm amazed that more people don't comment on this existential Doom and Dread. It is by far my worst symptom and by far the most disturbing for me. When will it end?

I'm so scared because I unwittingly Cold Turkeyed on a high dose of a very strong AD( Lexapro) almost a year ago. 

Please share your experiences of doom and dread. 

Thank you to all

Best wishes this will pass they say we all heal eventually.

Take care Kx

 

 

[Katy398]

On 12/9/2019 at 9:34 PM, mstimc said:

The best way I can describe it is the feeling of being a trapped animal in a small cage, with no possibility of getting out and being free.  There was a tremendous amount of  negative energy in my body with nowhere to send it. It was exhausting and depressing.

@mstimc this is so right I feel trapped, caged.

How did it pass for you?

how did you cope?

I can't tell you how supportive it is having folk who understand this symptom. It's irrational and impossible to describe. I know intellectually that these thoughts are irrational but emotionally they are so real. So real  that  at times I can't understand why everyone doesn't  get plagued by them. Surely a vast  majority of folk are terrified of being isolated, poverty stricken and infirm in old age. It's a fact that it could happen to many people,  so why are more people not terrified by this. Then on the flip side, it's irrational, we can't live life constantly frightened of the what ifs. I get that too I really do. It's so confusing and this is where my eloquence lets me down, I just don't have language to explain, but then I don't have to. Those on this post get it and fully understand without the need for explanations. Phew what a relief. 

Thanks for your response @mstimc and for your understanding.

How are things for you now. Where are you at?

Take care Kx

[mstimc]

53 minutes ago, Katy398 said:

I'm amazed that more people don't comment on this existential Doom and Dread. It is by far my worst symptom and by far the most disturbing for me. When will it end?

I'm so scared because I unwittingly Cold Turkeyed on a high dose of a very strong AD( Lexapro) almost a year ago. 

Please share your experiences of doom and dread. 

Thank you to all

Best wishes this will pass they say we all heal eventually.

Take care Kx

 

 

 

I was very hard on myself during my periods of doom.  I over-reacted to every error in my personal and professional life, and then I compounded them to make myself think I was worthless.

 

One thing that helped was reminding myself I wasn't a different person than I was before OCD and withdrawal took over.  My job skills were intact, I'm an honest person and I was a good husband and father.  Those traits were still there, shrouded by my anxious and negative thoughts.  Try thinking about what makes you a good person--even writing it down if you can, and concentrate on that.

[mstimc]

2 minutes ago, Katy398 said:

@mstimc this is so right I feel trapped, caged.

How did it pass for you?

how did you cope?

I can't tell you how supportive it is having folk who understand this symptom. It's irrational and impossible to describe. I know intellectually that these thoughts are irrational but emotionally they are so real. So real  that  at times I can't understand why everyone doesn't  get plagued by them. Surely a vast  majority of folk are terrified of being isolated, poverty stricken and infirm in old age. It's a fact that it could happen to many people,  so why are more people not terrified by this. Then on the flip side, it's irrational, we can't live life constantly frightened of the what ifs. I get that too I really do. It's so confusing and this is where my eloquence lets me down, I just don't have language to explain, but then I don't have to. Those on this post get it and fully understand without the need for explanations. Phew what a relief. 

Thanks for your response @mstimc and for your understanding.

How are things for you now. Where are you at?

Take care Kx

 

Hi Katy

 

There is a lot of truth in your statement!  First, unless you've experienced it, I don't think you can fully understand it.  

 

Surely a vast  majority of folk are terrified of being isolated, poverty stricken and infirm in old age. It's a fact that it could happen to many people,  so why are more people not terrified by this. I agree, but  I think this is where some reality checking can help.  This doesn't happen to most people, even in these crazy economic times. Most people have some friends or family, most people don't get fired, and for better or worse most of us just cork off without long periods of infirmity. 

 

It's so confusing and this is where my eloquence lets me down, I just don't have language to explain, but then I don't have to.  Yeah, I've never been able to articulate it to anyone but my therapist, and I made a living writing.  It's such a primal, atavistic fear, it's almost beyond words.

 

How are things for you now. Where are you at?  I still get the thoughts but then I stop myself and use my CBT tools to bring myself back to reality.  I've also found that when things do go wrong, its much easier dealing with the reality than the anticipatory dread. 

 

Physically, I'm in Portugal!  My wife and I retired a bit early so we can travel while we're still healthy (don't want to wait till we're broke an infirm--LOL 😁).  Portugal is very attractive for retirees due to a low cost of living, tax advantages, (and great health care).  It's nice not having to work, but of course a whole new culture and lifestyle comes with its own anxiety-inducing moments, but I'm adjusting!

 

[planifolia]

This too is one of one of my worst symptoms. It is related to dp/dr, but not really, but more like it has a synergistic effect with them and just makes it feel even more horrifying. For me it is this feeling of utter terror in the flavor of pitch black darkness and emptiness, just feeling almost dead. It's terrifying to the extreme. Existence creeps the hell out of me, and brings about the most sickening gut wrenching feeling . Most of the time i try to get through minute by minute, hour by hour. Many days i have no idea how i made it through, 

[mstimc]

 

1 hour ago, planifolia said:

This too is one of one of my worst symptoms. It is related to dp/dr, but not really, but more like it has a synergistic effect with them and just makes it feel even more horrifying. For me it is this feeling of utter terror in the flavor of pitch black darkness and emptiness, just feeling almost dead. It's terrifying to the extreme. Existence creeps the hell out of me, and brings about the most sickening gut wrenching feeling . Most of the time i try to get through minute by minute, hour by hour. Many days i have no idea how i made it through, 

Planifolia

The thing to remember is you do make it through each day.  And each day is one day closer to the day when these symptoms will ease.  Not being to control our thoughts is terrifying because the one thing that makes us who we are--our brains--turns against us.  The brain is incredibly powerful and can make our lives miserable.  But it also has the power to heal if we can manage out thought patterns.  I know it seems impossible because I went through it too, but focusing on the better days to come helps.  As others have said, trying to divert your attention to positive activities, no matter how trivial, helps to relieve the feelings and gets you through another day.

[gardenlady]

My experience has confirmed that psych drugs are much like street drugs in that they open the mind to demonic forces that one wouldn't be exposed to without these drugs.  They create a window through which these demonic forces enter.  It defies belief that such drugs are not only legal, but are condoned and advocated by the medical profession.  They may as well prescribe LSD and other forms of acid under the guise of "helping some people." 

[Kernol]

My experience is like yours @planifolia you describe it perfectly as a black terror Almost like a powerful grief type feeling with it. I also get lots of intrusive memories ever since I messed up my taper which are usually inocuous places people etc from my hometown but come with a sheer black terror for no reason at all. Nobody else seems to mention this so I’m not sure if I’m on my own with this one but it’s so bad now I can’t think of any memories normally Without feeling some level of horror or emotional pain. I fear I will never be able to go to my home town again or visit my dads house where I grew up due to this inexplicable terror (im housebound with agoraphobia due to the chemical terror anyway so not much chance at the moment) . I truly feel like I have gone mad and I will never be able to think of the past normally again.

 

i don’t know if anyone else has this???

 

i also have bizarre reactions to images or things on TV - like a weird trippy anxiety reaction to outdoor scenes especially sunny ones. I feel truly poisoned and in despair that I will ever heal.

 

 

 

 

[Katy398]

Hi @planifolia and @Kernol,

You both describe this so well. I understand completely. This ‘black terror’ reminds me of the black smoke of a ‘Dementor’ in a JK Rowling film. It comes out of nowhere, engulfs me without warning, fills my brain with random terrifying thoughts, that seem more real than the memory of my previous meal. I too can’t think of my hometown, I can’t look at photographs of my children when they were babies, I can’t sit on a beach and enjoy the here and now. That  ‘black terror’ envelops my core, my very being, with fears, of, what ifs and where did we go so very wrong? Anxiety clings like an parasite, growing and growing. My lungs are constricted, there is no space to fill.  Then I cry. I cry, I cry, I cry. My tears wash the menacing fog away, like the rain clears a hazy day. I breathe for as long and as deeply as I can, savouring the cool fresh air. Breathe,  but not for long,  sadly a new ‘black terror’ creeps over the horizon, preparing to take it’s prey. 

Knowing others are going through the same is terribly sad, But if I am going mad, I’m not alone. At least that gives me hope. We will heal and this ‘black terror’ will one day leave and we may be able to breathe and breathe and breathe. 

Best wishes to all,

Happy New Year.

Lets hope this year,

is better than last

KXxx

[mstimc]

3 hours ago, Katy398 said:

Hi @planifolia and @Kernol,

You both describe this so well. I understand completely. This ‘black terror’ reminds me of the black smoke of a ‘Dementor’ in a JK Rowling film. It comes out of nowhere, engulfs me without warning, fills my brain with random terrifying thoughts, that seem more real than the memory of my previous meal. I too can’t think of my hometown, I can’t look at photographs of my children when they were babies, I can’t sit on a beach and enjoy the here and now. That  ‘black terror’ envelops my core, my very being, with fears, of, what ifs and where did we go so very wrong? Anxiety clings like an parasite, growing and growing. My lungs are constricted, there is no space to fill.  Then I cry. I cry, I cry, I cry. My tears wash the menacing fog away, like the rain clears a hazy day. I breathe for as long and as deeply as I can, savouring the cool fresh air. Breathe,  but not for long,  sadly a new ‘black terror’ creeps over the horizon, preparing to take it’s prey. 

Knowing others are going through the same is terribly sad, But if I am going mad, I’m not alone. At least that gives me hope. We will heal and this ‘black terror’ will one day leave and we may be able to breathe and breathe and breathe. 

Best wishes to all,

Happy New Year.

Lets hope this year,

is better than last

KXxx

Katy, this is such a clear and heartfelt description of what we feel in the depths of this black terror.  And the hope you express at the end is a bright light.  We are not alone in our struggle; that alone should give us hope.

[Onmyway]

18 hours ago, Katy398 said:

Hi @planifolia and @Kernol,

You both describe this so well. I understand completely. This ‘black terror’ reminds me of the black smoke of a ‘Dementor’ in a JK Rowling film. It comes out of nowhere, engulfs me without warning, fills my brain with random terrifying thoughts, that seem more real than the memory of my previous meal. I too can’t think of my hometown, I can’t look at photographs of my children when they were babies, I can’t sit on a beach and enjoy the here and now. That  ‘black terror’ envelops my core, my very being, with fears, of, what ifs and where did we go so very wrong? Anxiety clings like an parasite, growing and growing. My lungs are constricted, there is no space to fill.  Then I cry. I cry, I cry, I cry. My tears wash the menacing fog away, like the rain clears a hazy day. I breathe for as long and as deeply as I can, savouring the cool fresh air. Breathe,  but not for long,  sadly a new ‘black terror’ creeps over the horizon, preparing to take it’s prey. 

Knowing others are going through the same is terribly sad, But if I am going mad, I’m not alone. At least that gives me hope. We will heal and this ‘black terror’ will one day leave and we may be able to breathe and breathe and breathe. 

Best wishes to all,

Happy New Year.

Lets hope this year,

is better than last

KXxx

How beautifully you write and have expressed this experience, Katy! 

[planifolia]

On 12/8/2019 at 6:35 PM, gardenlady said:

Katy,  I am so very, very sorry that you are experiencing this terror....believe me, I understand.  I still have it most days when in bed for hours and hours because I can't sleep.  I cry out to God and recite one of the Psalms or other bible verses.  I honestly think these are demonic forces that make in-roads to us through these hideous drugs.  For me, it's a spiritual battle so I have to keep going back to God as He is the only One with the power to deal with it.  Just concentrate on staying alive even if you have to do it from one minute to the next.  

 

I've had this for about 5 years and it's still ongoing as I'm still tapering Cymbalta.  At least you're off the drug so perhaps this symptom will ease up in a few months.  I'm way behind you so can't offer any help in how long it lasts as I'm still on the offending drug. 

Is there any bible verses you recommend? I am not religious and have no experience with the bible, so If anyone can recommend some verses a non-christian may resonate with, would be greatly appreciated 

[planifolia]

On 12/30/2019 at 6:20 PM, mstimc said:

 

Planifolia

The thing to remember is you do make it through each day.  And each day is one day closer to the day when these symptoms will ease.  Not being to control our thoughts is terrifying because the one thing that makes us who we are--our brains--turns against us.  The brain is incredibly powerful and can make our lives miserable.  But it also has the power to heal if we can manage out thought patterns.  I know it seems impossible because I went through it too, but focusing on the better days to come helps.  As others have said, trying to divert your attention to positive activities, no matter how trivial, helps to relieve the feelings and gets you through another day.

Thanks for this encouragement, tim! I always find it heartfelt when strangers shows such kindness  

[Katy398]

Yes thank you. The positive energy that comes through this site is incredible. ‘Complete strangers’ there for each other,  doing the job that most doctors don’t even realise   needs doing. This is wonderful thank you 🙏 

[mdwstrx]

@planifolia  Psalm 91 💜

🙏

[Superwoman]

7 hours ago, planifolia said:

s there any bible verses you recommend? I am not religious and have no experience with the bible, so If anyone can recommend some verses a non-christian may resonate with, would be greatly appreciated

“Life is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun.” Ecclesiastes 11:7.  This is the quote for today in my inspirational quotes calendar.  I don’t know if this resonates with you or not.  Life does not feel very sweet during withdrawal.  But, just remember, the sun will come out again.  Sometimes it is just hiding hiding behind the clouds. ⛅️

[Snorky]

Hi

 

Hope you don't mind me pitching in. I've had unbearable, relentless unremitting depressive sensations and anhedonia for about a month. I'm not sure if you'd describe it as demonic, but manifests as:

 

• Can't watch anything dark or remotely scary. Went to watch 1917 movie last night and felt overwhelmed by the bleakness and sadness, like I was the only one in the cinema gong through this
• Feel overwhelmed after 4pm when it starts getting dark

I feel for you, as I've noticed v much more interest and support for those going through anxiety rather than depression type turmoil. Almost like it's in the too difficult box.

 

Just wanted to wish you well and say I was preforming thee.

[Snorky]

The other thing is massive agitation and anger outbursts over anything, Howe trivial.

[planifolia]

On 1/12/2020 at 3:19 AM, Superwoman said:

“Life is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun.” Ecclesiastes 11:7.  This is the quote for today in my inspirational quotes calendar.  I don’t know if this resonates with you or not.  Life does not feel very sweet during withdrawal.  But, just remember, the sun will come out again.  Sometimes it is just hiding hiding behind the clouds. ⛅️

🙏 Thankyou!