Sweetcreature Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 Thank you all. Your support means a lot. Really. I feel as if I have an engine roughly the size of a shoe box inside my chest. It is switched on at full power. Attached to it are electrical wires that run up to my skull and though my arms. They are switched on too...while I know I do not apppear to be trembling to others, it feels like I have parkinsons...then there is the hallucinations, cold sweats and mental panic that sets in and crying spells and suicidal ideation. I am trapped in my own body and all my friends and my siblings are leading happy lives... This is what a bad wave is like. Thankfully it is not 24/7 So sorry to be so negative and hate to think that this upsets anyone reading it...I am sorry...Just want to express it and be heard. Thanks again for the advice and time, I do appreciate it, SC May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted February 1, 2014 Administrator Share Posted February 1, 2014 Do your symptoms have any daily pattern? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 Not really Alto...I can rely on them being present every day but in which ways I do not know, that's why I am so tempted to reduce..also my mum said that she thought my eyes looked toxic a few days ago..the way they did when I was on 30 mg (In decemeber) Calmer now than I was a few hours ago, for sure...NOT dropping tho Thanks x May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted February 2, 2014 Administrator Share Posted February 2, 2014 Please take your dose at the same time each day and, when you get the chance, update your signature. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted February 3, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 3, 2014 I feel as if I have an engine roughly the size of a shoe box inside my chest. It is switched on at full power. Attached to it are electrical wires that run up to my skull and though my arms. They are switched on too...while I know I do not apppear to be trembling to others, it feels like I have parkinsons...then there is the hallucinations, cold sweats and mental panic that sets in and crying spells and suicidal ideation. I am trapped in my own body and all my friends and my siblings are leading happy lives... This is what a bad wave is like. Thankfully it is not 24/7 SC, I experienced this too - intense inner shaking, cold sweats, mental panic...and more. For months, I was waking up to this every day and I was completely off all medication. This is not about medication dose, its about nervous system destabilization. The waves of these symptoms will slowly decrease. That's what's been happening to me. I get the symptoms every day, my pattern is worse in the morning, improving towards evening. But some days will be very bad. I've gone through periods of having several bad weeks, then a couple of reasonable days. At first it was more bad than good. Now I have more reasonable days than bad ones, but it still seems to be going in a pattern of several days reasonable, then some bad days. But now, the bad days are not as bad as they used to be. Reading through the 'windows and waves' topic often would help me to remember what was going on. Unfortunately, it can take a long time, for a damaged nervous system to become stable again. I don't have the temptation to mess around with my medication dose, because I'm not on any, you have to be strong and keep remembering, its not about the drugs, its about your body needing time to settle down from too many changes. People might make comments about our condition, they are probably trying to be helpful, but they don't know what they are talking about. Do what you need to do to get through each day. Be patient and understand that its going to take as long as it takes. By accepting this reality, you are reducing stress and that will help your nervous system to calm down and heal faster. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Petu and Alto have said everything in the most thorough possible way. There's nothing I could add to that. However, I understand the need to be heard. Know that I hear you. Hold tight. You can do this even though its terrifying at times. Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted February 4, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 4, 2014 It ill get better SC. It is 3 months now since my last drop and I haven't stabilised yet. I'm also tempted to rush the last few drops but I know from everything I have learned here that it would be a bad move. I also know from bitter experience what it feels like to go too far too fast. It is hard, really hard, to resist but we have to allow our brains to adjust between drops, however long it takes. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted February 10, 2014 Author Share Posted February 10, 2014 Thank you as always. Today is day 28 of 15 mg dose. Still holding and no plans to change anything right now. Wishing everyone well SC May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted February 10, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 10, 2014 Thanks for updating SC, hope you are coping and getting through each day the best you can. They will get easier. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Hi Good to hear that you are doing ok. Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted February 11, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 11, 2014 Hello SC, I've been reading through your thread. It seems that you have learnt that all important lesson that we all here have to learn if we want to stop this vicious circle of taking more drugs to supress more symptoms and cause more symptoms. On my personal journey the most important moment was when I noticed that my symptoms would finally subside WITHOUT doing anything about my medication. I hope you experience that soon. It seems you are on teh right path with this hold and no plans to change I tell myself that the right time to drop is when I stop obssessing about dropping and instead focus on other aspects of my life and study how I can make myself feel better irrespective of the drugs. wishing us all a lot of patience bubble Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 Thank you all. Still holding - and physical side effects at last seem to be a lot less. No race, no hurry is what I am telling myself now Much love SC May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 I am so glad to hear that your symptoms are settling. Its been a rough trip for you to trust your body and allow it the time. Congratulations! Keep up the good work. Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted March 2, 2014 Author Share Posted March 2, 2014 Hello all, How is everyone? Well I am still at 15 mg - held already for seven weeks...still experiencing waves and windows. I have noticed that the majority of serious side effects have reduced somewhat, but what bothers me is that I still have horrible anxiety and a dark dark mood. I am wondering if there will ever be a way out of this trap...is there any point in trying to get off these if I feel so sh11ty when I am on them?! Sigh....questions to ponder for another day... I notice that several hours after taking the meds my mood improves a bit and I feel a little more hopeful...a little. I was thinking of changing the time of day that I take the meds. I take them at 3.00pm and it is not until 10.00 or 11.00 pm that I feel calmer....then I am awake till 3.00 or 4.00....any one think that changing the time might help? And I presume that it would be an hour a week or something?? Thank you all so much X May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted March 3, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 3, 2014 Thank you for posting an update Sweetcreature, please would you update your signature now that you have been at 15mg for 7 weeks. I have noticed that the majority of serious side effects have reduced somewhat, but what bothers me is that I still have horrible anxiety and a dark dark mood. I am wondering if there will ever be a way out of this trap...is there any point in trying to get off these if I feel so sh11ty when I am on them?! This is good news and evidence that you are starting to stabilize. I'm sorry that it takes such a long time, but you are heading in the right direction now. It may take a while longer, but once your symptoms decrease to nothing or a minimal level, you will be able to begin a slow safe taper and if you take it slowly enough, should never have to experience the extreme symptoms again. I notice that several hours after taking the meds my mood improves a bit and I feel a little more hopeful...a little. I was thinking of changing the time of day that I take the meds. I take them at 3.00pm and it is not until 10.00 or 11.00 pm that I feel calmer....then I am awake till 3.00 or 4.00....any one think that changing the time might help? And I presume that it would be an hour a week or something. This lift in anxiety and mood in the evening might not be related to the time you take your meds. Many people often feel better later in the day due to the natural cortisol cycle when it usually drops. I start to feel better from mid to late afternoon and I'm not taking any medication, I'm in protracted withdrawal from a too fast taper and CT from multiple drugs. If you do decide to change the time, moving it an hour each day is what is recommended, I think, but I'm not certain about that, maybe an hour each week would be safer. You're doing great and if you continue to be patient you will get off these drugs, feel better and then you will be able to build a new life and have a nice future. Petu. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted March 15, 2014 Author Share Posted March 15, 2014 Thank you sweet Petu for your words, sorry I did not respond until now. I will indeed edit my signature to reflect where I am at. I had my consult with Healy two weeks ago and trying to get my head around that... also doing accupuncture and herbs right now and it is helping (only a little). Thanks for your words about cortisol level - I find that helpful as part of me hates to think that the meds are in any way responsible for a decrease in the low mood. Thanks again, and sorry to all that I am of no real help and provide no real advice, know that I am wishing you all well however... SC May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 16, 2014 Administrator Share Posted March 16, 2014 What did Dr. Healy say? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 He has a couple of suggestions not unlike what he has outlined in the 'draft' section posted on one of the topics here...he is concerned about the desperately low mood I fall into when I come off which happens regardless of the way that I come off (and is happening NOW regardless of being on it...) He asked my thoughts on weaning off seroxat and starting 'dosulepin' or instead a cardiac drug which is apparently a calcium blocker as they are thought to be helpful in treating people coming off anti psychotics (but not yet tried with SSRI's) I cried when he asked my feelings about not being able to get off a drug altogether...it resulted in me feeling that too much harm has been done for any hope of a normal future...I feel like Sh*t on them and off them - so, where does that leave me? I do respect him and the fact that he is first and foremost a physician who is thinking about the best option for each individual patient...it would be worrying if he was only interested in having people off drugs at any cost..I know that... I am telling myself that he not wanting to raise peoples hopes and perhaps wants to exert some caution in his approach...as docs do.. Following the consult, he wrote a personalised report for me which I now await his next response from as I edited it a bit and had some further questions for him. I am losing hope of ever feeling better...but thanks for asking Alto ;-) hope you're well May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted March 17, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 17, 2014 Hi SC, I'm glad you saw Dr Healey. Is he going to try you on the calcium blocker? **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted July 17, 2014 Author Share Posted July 17, 2014 Hi Y'all, Thanks for letting me chime in. I haven't been on the board for many months - its not that I don't want or need the support or that I don't want or need to support others but I am finding that the more I focus on WD the worse and more panicky I feel. You might see from my other posts that I had a consult with the famous Dr Healy which was enlightening and upsetting all at once. (not anything he said or did - just me and my interpretation of it) I suppose the truth is that I was hoping for him to have miraculous powers or something and by virtue of talking to him it would make it all better...sigh. Anyway, I have finally stabilised at 15 mg of paxil/seroxat (well the closest thing I can get to stable) and have started to taper. Wondered what your thoughts were on my style of tapering which is as follows: essentially taking 14 weeks to complete one 'cycle' of tapering and one 'cycle' in my case is a drop of only 1mg. So it will take me 14 weeks to get to 14 mg, 14 weeks to get to 13 mg, another 14 weeks to get to 12 mg and so on and so on. The advice I was given (NOT by Healy - we didn't actually discuss tapering techniques) is to 'drop' 1mg one day of the week. Do the same the next week and then on the 3rd week, do the same on TWO days. (not consecutive) Repeat the step. I know this flies in the face of the good advice on here to avoid alternate days in any tapering plans but the difference here being that the amount is so minute and I am back up at the stable dose the next day so the half life business of the drug works with instead of against my body. Tricking the brain basically. Wondered your thoughts. it could take up to 4 years - something that previously filled me with dread but now that I am thankfully a lot more stable, I can live with that idea....sort of... I hope you are all well, sending you my sincerest and warmest wishes... SweetC Xxx May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted July 18, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 18, 2014 Welcome back SweetC, Thank you for posting an update and I'm glad to hear you have finally stabilized. I read through your tapering plan and I don't think I understand it. If you drop by 1mg, that is a significant amount and you would need to hold for several weeks to let your nervous system settle down again. I'm not sure if you mean .01mg? Some people find that cutting by micro-amounts more often works better. But we still don't recommend skipping days. You need to take the same dose every day in order to keep a stable level of the drug in your body in order to keep the nervous system stable. I read through your plan again, and I think I understand now. But I wouldn't be able to support it. Its important to accurately take the same dose every day in order to keep the nervous system as stable as possible. 2.c. Do not jump around in dosage. For most drugs, it takes about 4 days for the change to fully register in your system. Unless you have an IMMEDIATE bad reaction, wait at least 4-7 days to see how the change affects you. (If you have an immediate bad reaction, go back to the dosage you were taking before.) Please read through the 3KIS rules: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6632-the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/ Here are tips for tapering seroxat/paxil : http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/405-tips-for-tapering-off-paxil-paroxetine/ We suggest cutting by 10% of the current dose, this means that as you get lower, the amount you reduce by becomes less. If you wanted to be extra careful, you could cut by 5%, but still stick to the 4 - 6 weeks for holding before the next cut. After a cut, it can take anywhere from several days to several months before symptoms subside, so its important to listen to your own body and not make any further cuts until your nervous system has stabilized, even if this means waiting longer than 4 weeks. Our recommendations for tapering are based on our experiences of what has worked best for most people, jumping around in dose causes destabilization and increased symptoms. Petu. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted July 18, 2014 Author Share Posted July 18, 2014 Hi Petu, Thank you for your thoughts. I wouldnt be skipping any days - My gosh no...if you can imagine seven days of the week then it would look like this: M T W T F S S 14 15 15 15 15 15 15 14 15 15 15 15 15 15 14 15 14 15 15 15 15 14 15 14 15 15 15 15 14 15 14 15 14 15 15 14 15 14 15 14 15 15 14 15 14 15 14 15 14 14 15 14 15 14 15 14 14 15 14 14 14 15 15 14 15 14 14 14 14 15 14 15 14 14 14 14 15 14 15 14 14 14 14 14 14 15 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 I was advised that if at any point it got too hard I could repeat the week (again and again if necessary) and I think even 'stay' at the final week for several weeks before moving on again. Maybe this shows it better for anyone reading to understand I hope so...but I am still going to give your suggestions some thought. Thank you for your input, SC x May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted July 18, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 18, 2014 SC, I don't have any experience with this kind of taper, but we have found that bouncing around doses tends to produce worse results than just cutting and holding. What I would have suggested would be an initial small cut, like from 15 to 14.5 (or even a smaller cut to 14.75 or so) and just hold there for a month or two and see how it goes, listening to your body and keeping a journal, taking the same dose at the same time every day. It doesn't sound from your sig line like this kind of slow taper with small cuts is something you've ever tried. You're only just now stable on the 15 mg so I would say it's important actually to keep things as stable as possible. That's the type of taper I would recommend. I guess you're just going to have to see how this plan works for you. Please keep us posted. Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted July 19, 2014 Author Share Posted July 19, 2014 Thanks Rhi for your thoughts. Yes you're right that I have not slow tapered ever. The last time was 10% of the overall dose each time so for me it was going down in 3mgs (every two weeks too!! Yikes) Will keep you posted. I have got this far and feel soooo much better than before so for anyone reading who is going through a hard time please take heart...I so did not want to hold at 15 and you all supported and encouraged me strongly to do so and I am glad I did. Will of course stay in touch..:-) Thanks again X May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I don't understand the taper but if it is working for you, then by all means. Rooting for you! Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thanks MAttini X May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted July 28, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thanks Rhi for your thoughts. Yes you're right that I have not slow tapered ever. The last time was 10% of the overall dose each time so for me it was going down in 3mgs (every two weeks too!! Yikes) Will keep you posted. I have got this far and feel soooo much better than before so for anyone reading who is going through a hard time please take heart...I so did not want to hold at 15 and you all supported and encouraged me strongly to do so and I am glad I did. Will of course stay in touch..:-) Thanks again X Just note: the same people who told you to hold at 15, which you are now glad you did, are telling you to taper in a different way than you are planning to do. It could be that we know something about what we're saying. Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
Sweetcreature Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Hi all, Long time, I thought I would say hi and update you on my progress. Its been up and down but I am definitely 'better' than I was around the time of my last posts and when I first started posting... I am at a dose of 12mg and currently in week five of the method described a few posts above. On days that I 'go less' I go down to 11mg, then back up to 12mg the following day. I suppose the theory is that enough time has not elapsed to allow a sudden crash and the cut is so small at 1 mg (once a week, then twice a week then three times a week etc) that my brain and body doesn't 'notice it'. It does. On this regimen - I get to lower the dose at a rate of no faster than 1 mg every 14 weeks (I repeat the step twice) I didn't make this regimen up - it is the one favoured by CITA in the UK and also the one my nutritionist wants me to follow - given that I seem to feel it when I make a cut a day or two afterwards I think this might be the optimal method for me, but I do remain open to using a compounding pharmacy too... none of this is written in stone and I (we) must reman flexible!! I am thinking of slowing down even more. I just re read Rhi's section on the need for a slow taper and also saw a newbies success story and feel inspired to truly truly take it as slow as it needs. You are right - THROW OUT THE CALENDAR! The good news is that I am much more functional....I held down a part time job over Christmas! I moved out of my parents house and I am enrolled on a course at my local college. my attendance there is WOEFUL but that's not really what matters at this stage...I'm doing something...most days... and I see that as a big improvement. I am going to start journaling everything too.... Sending you all positive wishes, SweetC X May 2001 - age 24 given 20 mg seroxat. Tried to reduce myself after a year. Told by GP to take on alternate days and I would be fine. FAIL. Assumed 'wrong time' due to university stress and that my 'depression' must be worse than I thought.Increased dose to 30 mg December 2002. Tried the same technique as before to reduce- made it down to a quarter tablet but couldn't stand symptoms, had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to tablets but never considered dependency - 'depression is a diseased brain after all' (is what I was told) Continued until October 2010 - tried to CT and managed to last five months - assumed the depression was really bad but had no understanding of the reason for awful anxiety. Ran back to GP started Prozac- went crazy thought I was going to die. Stopped Prozac after two weeks.April 2010 Started sertraline. Stablished but felt numbed.September 2010 Asked for seroxat again. Upped my dose to 30 after three weeks. Felt hyper, caffeinated, but functional. Glad to be over what I thought was 'depression'..Realised it is the meds, want to be free at last - July 2012 started 10% taper from original dose and took supplements. Took suppliments sporadically and despite the temptation the taper, wanted it 'over with'. Taper took exactly six months and 10 days.Reductions were as follows:First 2 weeks- 27 mgNext 2- 24mgNext 2- 21 mgNext 2- 18mgNext 2 15 mgNext 2 12 mg (held for four weeks due to house move from London back to Ireland)Next 2 weeks- 9 mgNext 2 weeks- 6 mgNext 2- weeks 3 mgNext 2 weeks 1.5 mg (held for 5 weeks as scared)10th February 2013 Jumped to zeroWithin 3 weeks sadness, led to anxiety. Restarted suppliments - helped a bit. Stressful move to London. A lot of fatigue and DEEP emotions. Crying LOTS. Took suppliments on and off, moved back to Ireland after being back in London for only eight weeks as felt too sad and unsettled. No suppliments when moved back. Unhappy at being back, scared I wouldn't ever find happiness - deep deep sadness, anger, STUPIDLY went back to doctor and decided I must just be a 'depressive'. Given Citalopram/Celexa 20mg. Took it for seven days, changed my mind, decided to be 'strong' and put it behind me. (No particularly adverse effects that I recall, save for day 5 having inner vibrations in arms and legs) Still had pack of tablets however and every time emotions got hard felt I had to 'go back onto tablets'. I did this from July until November. (On them off them on them off them) ........ Started to get body vibrations and told myself it was 'anxiety' and I was 'giving myself panic attacks. I continued to cry as I 'started' the tablets again and again - not wanting to go back there but not sure what else to do. More vibrations - but didn't make the connection that I had a compromised CNS - thought it was anxiety....chest started to pound in Sept, vibrations continued...lost weight, became anxious, sleep was awful and I tried a variety of remedies to replace the tablets and calm my anxiety and lift my mood. I think they made things worse. (These included, St.Johns Wort, Rescue Remedy, Homeopathic treatments, Chinese herbs, Passiflora, and suppliments from the online company who state they are experts in assisting people get off meds) Also did the following: Talking therapy Human Givens Therapy Homeopathy Narcotics Anonymous October 23rd took Citalopram (20mg) for 12 days - no relief November 6th Started Seroxat 10 mg (to be safe) stupidly upped to 20 the next day. Stayed on 20 for 18 days, no relief, stopped for two days suddenly, relief came - short lived, vibrations and torture came after 72 hours. Suicidal for days. Upped to 30 thinking it would improved. Even more suicidal. Dropped to 20 again (December 9th) not suicidal, but not better. Started liquid 28th December reduced to 18 mg in effort to reduce and stabilise. Don't know where to go from here. Living with parents who are supportive beyond words. Sweetcreature Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Your thread has given me hope. Thanks 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
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