☼ Wildflower0214 Effexor WD and PTSD

[Wildflower0214]

I'm trying. Please keep praying. So much at one time. I need Jesus to come rescue me. The thoughts are awful and never ending.

[luv2knit]

I'm praying nonstop! Hopefully this phase will pass soon!

[tgirl]

Hello JDM,

I hope you are feeling better and getting some sleep.

Your thoughts will pass.

God bless you

[Wildflower0214]

Tgirl and luv,

 

Thank you. Thank you. I need the prayer. I just keep praying.

[Wildflower0214]

Hello JDM,

I hope you are feeling better and getting some sleep.

Your thoughts will pass.

God bless you

They are awful accusing thoughts. Have you had a wave like this?

[direstraits]

I get the awful obsessive thoughts -guilt about the past-playing things over in my head-it can be torture-God help us-I think it's all anxiety

[Wildflower0214]

I get the awful obsessive thoughts -guilt about the past-playing things over in my head-it can be torture-God help us-I think it's all anxiety

Yes. It's hideous. Is is a wave? It has to end!!!!! It's awful at night!

 

Thx for responding!

[Wildflower0214]

On top of it, I had months were I only brushed my teeth sporadically because of being so sick, now have a dark spot, can't imagine having to deal with a dentist right now but have no choice.

[Wildflower0214]

I may take some extra ativan to get through this. I don't want to. Only done it twice in 5 months. But, I will do what I have to do.

[tgirl]

J,

Yes I experienced thoughts like those.

it's withdrawl.

Try not to let them eat you up.

praying for you!

[Wildflower0214]

 

 

J,

Yes I experienced thoughts like those.

it's withdrawl.

Try not to let them eat you up.

praying for you![/quote

 

 

Thank you! I need the prayers!

[Wildflower0214]

On top of it, I had months were I only brushed my teeth sporadically because of being so sick, now have a dark spot, can't imagine having to deal with a dentist right now but have no choice.

Had to go to dentist. Had a cavity. They had to shoot me up with numbing stuff, now I'm having body sensations that make sleep difficult and I feel funny. I almost half expected to get a reaction to the numbing agent. Only by the pure grace of God I was able to even sit in a dental chair for over 3 hours.

[Muddles]

How awful for you. Sending healing thoughts to you.

[WinningThrough]

Hello JDM. You visited my thread so now I'm visiting yours :-) I haven't read through all of your thread but I've read through some of it.

 

I am thinking of you and I hope you get some relief soon.

 

I really hope you get some sleep tonight. Perhaps you will.

[Wildflower0214]

How awful for you. Sending healing thoughts to you.

I just want some relief. I'm crying, I just want to sleep, to be able to count on that, and eat some other food besides the 14 items I've been eating. I think everyday about how I can't take this anymore and how I want to leave and go be with God. But I'm too scared to do anything and I don't want to hurt my parents. But I just hurt so bad, I just want to scream, I hurt so bad, and the nights alone, awake in a silent house where my mom is asleep are awful, they are awful, like torture, I'm just so afraid and I just hurt so bad. I just want to get better. It's physically painful.

[Wildflower0214]

Hello JDM. You visited my thread so now I'm visiting yours :-) I haven't read through all of your thread but I've read through some of it.

 

I am thinking of you and I hope you get some relief soon.

 

I really hope you get some sleep tonight. Perhaps you will.

Goodness, my thread is scary. I hope the new people stay away from it, don't want to scare them. It's a bit of a downer. Sorry

[luv2knit]

Don't be sorry! Praying for you to get better!!

[Wildflower0214]

Don't be sorry! Praying for you to get better!!

Thank you. I just want to experience the love of God, that drives out all fear, I have had glimpse of it in my life, and it was literally the sweetest thing Ive ever experienced.

I just want the obsessive accusing nasty shame thoughts to disappear!

I just want to scream! This makes me sooooooo angry. Look at what has been done! It's tragic. The pain in my parents eyes is so unbearable. It's awful. People with children, I have no idea how they do it. I sometimes feel like it would be easier to hang on if I had a child that needed me. The despair is so heavy and painful.

[LoveandLight]

Hope you get a wee bit of a break soon!x

[Wildflower0214]

Hope you get a wee bit of a break soon!x

Thank you. I hope u do too.

[tgirl]

Hello JDM,

Hope you find a window soon!

[Muddles]

I feel your pain. You will have a window soon...hold on.

[Wildflower0214]

In wave from dental anastetic. Slept last night, 9-5. Solid. Tonight, not going to sleep. Been fighting off ocd thoughts, bordering on psychotic and suicidal.

 

Pray for sleep.

[Wildflower0214]

And I'm on my own, my mom is fed up and locks herself in her room. She doesn't want anything to do with me. Neither does my dad. They don't know what to do, and they have given up.

 

I've also lost all contact with my friends except maybe three who sporadically text me. The only interaction I have is here, and a radio station locally where I ask for prayer, and try and pray for others when I can. That's it. No one. My mom won't even speak to me. She acts like I could just snap out of it. But, u know both my parents are drugged on AD so no wonder they are acting like jerks. They can't feel.

[Wildflower0214]

I used local numbing stuff at dentist that did not have the adrenaline in it. I guess I'm an idiot for being optimistic in thinking I might get away without a reaction. I hope it ends soon.

 

I don't think I could have had them drill my tooth without numbing it first. Maybe I should have tried.

[Wildflower0214]

I feel your pain. You will have a window soon...hold on.

I want to sleep

[Wildflower0214]

Hello JDM,

Hope you find a window soon!

Me tooooooo!

[Wildflower0214]

Hope you get a wee bit of a break soon!x

 

I want to go in to a coma, and wake up in two years when this is over

[Wildflower0214]

Tmm is my five month anniversary off AD. I'd like a balloon so I could beat the living crap out of it while pretending its the dr who put me on this stuff.

[Wildflower0214]

Does anyone else have sensations?

Burning nerve feeling

Electrical

Creepy crawly

And then my body feels floaty like its never heavy enough to sleep. This most of the time is what drives insomnia.

[Wildflower0214]

Just for the record:

Current symptoms:

Tingling in limbs (creepy crawly)

Burning sensation

Insomnia

Floaty sensation in body

Feel like nerves are ultra-sensitive

Jolting while trying to sleep

Ocd thoughts over and over about shame

Ruminating

Tight burning chest

Food intolerances

Break out in rash when very nervous

Very bad anxiety most of the time

Got so screwed up yesterday was bordering on psychotic

Suicidal ideation off and on but has gotten very very bad at times.

[luv2knit]

Yes, I have the burning and sometimes electrical. From time to time, I just start shaking uncontrollably (yesterday evening). Frankly, I have no friends. I drove them all away with my Chronic Fatigue. My husband is still working from home, but I can tell he is getting fed up. On my bad days, I'm a real b****

[luv2knit]

I have episodes of panic and depression. They don't usually last too long and/or come and go.

[Wildflower0214]

How do u fall asleep?

[luv2knit]

Pure exhaustion. Don't stay asleep though.

[Wildflower0214]

I'm exhausted too, but can not fall asleep like this. You're fortunate u sleep at all. I wish I could get something. I hate this. What do u do at night?