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steeley: introducing myself


steeley

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Hello tgirl, Lolly and Rhi, and a special hello to Brandy who wrote me such a supportive post she cannot go unmentioned.

 

I just wrote a long post in reply to questions about my reducing Mirtazapine, and then it disappeared into the ether.  I'm too tired to go it again but will give it another bat this evening. 

 

Please try not to be afraid Rhi, it is hideous but will not kill us and we want to become one of the success stories.  Just take it really slowly with good space between drops. 

 

My computer is on its last legs and wont allow me to do much so if I disappear off the radar that's the reason.

 

Was it you Rhi who said my language looked like English?  That really made me laugh you good old cob.  (That means good friend).

 

Will definitely get back tonight to discuss my Mirtazapine nightmare as I know people are desperate for knowledge and are scared.  I wouldn't use me as a beautiful case study in WD techniques, but I've got a fair bit to say about how NOT to do it.

 

Hope this reaches you all, and speak again this evening if my computer does not completely clap out.  There might be something to be said for becoming a Ludite (smile).  Can't even use smilies, oh well, no loss, as am thinking about creating 'gloomies'.

 

Keep batting my friends.

 

steeley 

Prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine approximately 10 years ago.  PTSD 

 

C/T 50% of dose - dreadful, hellish

Begin to reduce by 10% every 3-6 weeks

now:

5.11.14 4.50mg - going to wait a bit longer

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Hey steeley, hope the New Year's Eve fairy brings you a new computer! I am waiting for that avatar of yours to appear.

 

We got smilies, just click the button like in the picture to add them to your post:

 

post-1822-0-36794100-1419737635_thumb.jpg

 

(It is in the top row of icons in the post editor)

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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Hi fellow travellers,

 

Hope this is the right spot to send this but wanted people to know that my computer is clapped out and I cannot receive e-mails.  It's completely dysfunctional.  Getting a new one in the New Year.

 

I did PM Cymbalta to thank her for helping me to import my avatar picture and hope that she has received it, as don't want to appear ungrateful.  She put a lot of time and effort into helping me but alas, because of my 'computer' I could not import it.  Grrrrrr.

 

Wanted people to know that I am still round and about and that I have not disappeared off the radar.

 

Hope everyone is travelling well.

 

steeley 

 

 

 

 

Prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine approximately 10 years ago.  PTSD 

 

C/T 50% of dose - dreadful, hellish

Begin to reduce by 10% every 3-6 weeks

now:

5.11.14 4.50mg - going to wait a bit longer

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi steely,

I moved your new post into your introduction topic.  You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want.  I'm sorry you're having computer troubles.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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You're a good soul Steeley.  I look forward to seeing more of you in 2015

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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Oh Junior,

 

Thanks for that, everything makes me cry, and now I've got a crap computer.  I'm starting to familiarise myself with this new site and think I am getting there, and have also started to stabilise after I pushed my self destruct button and jumped off cold the 4.50mg.

 

Crumbs, it's still hard to believe that such small doseages can send you to the land of the walking dead. 

 

Just looked up how to kill a zombie but the answers were pretty facile.  I'm thinking the big wigs in pharma land are the zombies and resent the fact that we are still alive.  Heaven only knows how.  There's got to be a way.  Hmmm?  Flintlock rifle was one of the suggestons, and I just worked out how to apply smilies thanks to Cymbalta and I found it, click "show all" and it worked, then my computer packed it in and and my smilies disappeared.  New computer come the New Year.

 

Hope you are travelling well my friend and the cricket has been great.  My boyfriend Mitch is a legend.  Poor old Smith just went out.  How many dropped catches was that, but we are still doing well.  They're doing it for Hughesie.

 

My computer has clagged so don't be surprised if something goes wrong with my posting and other applications.

 

Hi to Jason and hope he is doing well too after change in meds.

 

as always.....steeley the home wrecker (big smile)  

Prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine approximately 10 years ago.  PTSD 

 

C/T 50% of dose - dreadful, hellish

Begin to reduce by 10% every 3-6 weeks

now:

5.11.14 4.50mg - going to wait a bit longer

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Glad you are finding your way around.  It does take time to settle into a new home.

 

Lord knows what the twits at Big Pharma think - probably nothing more than $$$$$ really ...

 

I'm alive.  Thyroid is playing up again so I keep waking up at @4am .. grrrrr. 

 

Jason is doing well.  We think he's stable now.  The addition of lithium made a big difference.  Psych says it can take up to 6 months to see its full effect so we're leaving the dose alone for now.  He's happily watching the cricket as we speak.

 

Take care of yourself, my friend. Let's hope 2015 brings speedy healing to all of us.

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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 as always.....steeley the home wrecker (big smile)  

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Still :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:  ing!

 

Steeley, you're a treasure! I'm so glad you're here! :wub:

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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  • Moderator

I'll be waiting for your big shiny new posts from your big shiny new computer.  Take care and have a great new year.

 

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Did no-one like my dead duck?   I'm so offended.   I'll use it ma fn self then.  

 

Cept I can't figure out how to make it bigger.....

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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I'm impressed by the love and camaraderie of the new "gang" here and I think y'all will be a great addition to our forum. (Even if I can't understand the language you speak sometimes...kind of looks like English, only with different words ;-)

 

 

 

 

Even if I can't understand the language you speak sometimes...kind of looks like English, only with different words ;-)

Do we? Oh dear lol. We'll have to watch out for that and translate.

 

* wonders if Rhi will have to translate "y'all" for the Aussies*  :D

 

(Which reminds me. I saw a magnificent movie by an Irish filmmaker. Understood just about every word of it, but one audience member was griping afterward that it needed subtitles. LOL.)

 

Now back to our originally scheduled programming...

 

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Did no-one like my dead duck?   I'm so offended.   I'll use it ma fn self then.  

 

Cept I can't figure out how to make it bigger.....

As long as it wasn't a golden .... (cricket reference here :P)

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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Did no-one like my dead duck?   I'm so offended.   I'll use it ma fn self then.  

 

Cept I can't figure out how to make it bigger.....

 

omg. I searched this thread twice using "Ctrl+Find" and couldn't find anything about a duck.

 

Just peered closely at the screen and realized your avatar is a dead duck and not a lovely flower! That picture is hilarious!!!!!

 

Guess I should've gotten another desktop instead of a laptop. And need new glasses (seriously).

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Heya Brandy!   Thanks for noticing it lol.  I originially posted the link to it on Brassmonkey's thread, not here, so you're not going mad.  Well.... I should rephrase that I suppose lol.

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It looks great, Ever, but you got me a little confused as when I saw it I thought you were Steeley..

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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It looks great, Ever, but you got me a little confused as when I saw it I thought you were Steeley..

LOLOLOL! That made me laugh Songbird - thankyou - I needed that.

 

Well, I found it FOR Steeley - she can have it if she wants it. But if she doesn't, it makes me laugh when I see it so I figured it was too good to waste lol

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Hey Steeleybomber! I was worried about you and glad to see you made the jump over here. I'm looking forward to your quick wit and insight. You were one of my favs from PP.

First panic attack 2/94. On Prozac for 6 months with no relief. Then switched to imipramine for 6 months. Started on 30mg Paxil in 12/97 for panic attacks and anxiety. Worked fine until 2/13. Dose increased to 40mg and anxiety and panic got worse. Started tapering from 40mg in 11/13. Currently at 10.9mg and feeling better. Intermittent Xanax use throughout.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Good to see you here, Greg - have you started an intro thread for yourself yet?

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Hi steeley,

 

I was a newbie over at pp but there long enough to recognize quite a few names here.  Hello to all of you, thank you for the insights I gained from you.

steeley, don't beat yourself up over what happened, I don't think you did anything out of line. 

Best wishes to you for a healthy 2015. 

Sept. 2013-Jan. 2014 Wellbutrin 300mg
Jan. 2014 Effexor 37.5mg (only took it 2 days)
Feb. 2014 Paxil 10mg
April - Sept. 2014 Paxil 30mg
Sept. 29 2014 Paxil reduced from 30 mg. to 20mg.
Nov. 3 2014 Paxil reduced from 20 mg. to 10 mg.
Nov. 18, 2014 Paxil free

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  • Moderator

Oi steeley, such a year.  I'm glad it's ending on a better note and I wish you continued healing for the new year.

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Happy New Year!   :D

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Steeley, just to reply to your question in the other thread about staying on the same dose for 3 months - I have stayed on the same dose for many many months at times waiting to stabilise and it didn't cause me any problems.  I suppose, as usual, individual responses may vary.  I believe that for people in poop-out, symptoms can get worse if they stay at a dose too long.  If you have stabilised before, then it may be a good idea to stay at the same dose to hopefully eventually get stable.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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  • Mentor

http://www.forbes.com/sites/robwaters/2012/07/12/glaxosmithklines-3-billion-hit-deterrent-or-business-expense/

 

just found this link about Paxil. When I read about Zoloft, was hard, now I know what my baby died of, severe heart defects. I was one of those damn statistics.

 

Anyway the link is brilliant.

1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression.  Serotonin syndrome, oh yes!  seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol.

Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly)  pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby).  98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.
2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout....  Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol,   and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.
Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg  seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg  tegretol 400mg.  Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.
Mid 15 ....   75mg  seroquel,  3 x 1800mg SJW  2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave
5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x  SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW
15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::   28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::;  18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump.

23/9  3mg.....,  27/9 0mg.  Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg.............  LIGHTBULB MOMENT,  I have  MTHFR 2x mutations.  CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it.

Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues.

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Oh Silver Star, how I hate these drugs and what they can do.  I am so sorry about the loss of your baby.  I lost my two kids not to drugs but to a very powerful husband followed by a nervous breakdown, I don't think I have ever really recovered from the loss.  This, coupled with a traumatic experience in my teens was what led me to anti-depressants.  I am only now beginning to feel again.  The drugs blunted everything.  My kids are now grown, but so miss the fact that I did not experience their childhood.   

 

Ever, I loved the dead duck and am now conflicted as to either molten metal or your dead duck.  The duck's looking better by the day.

 

Hi to Greg and Brandy, and glad you got a laugh out of my home wrecking reference.  I didn't mean it I swear.  Aaaarrrggghhh.

 

Thanks Songbird for advice on sticking to my (now) dose for a bit longer.  Pharmacist is going to compound the Mirt for me.  I can't weigh, can't cut, so I'll leave it to him to make me up 4.5mg capsules to last me 6 weeks then I'll re-evaluate.  It costs a bit more, but is worth it to know that the measurements are accurate.

 

When I get my new computer WOOT WOOT Ever, I'm going to swing with you all.  We have to,hey?

 

Thank you my friends, I don't know what I'd do without you all, and thanks for welcoming me to SA as I worried that I would not be welcome.  How wrong was I?

 

Have I put this post in the right place?

 

steeley

 

I luv's ya's all.

    

Prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine approximately 10 years ago.  PTSD 

 

C/T 50% of dose - dreadful, hellish

Begin to reduce by 10% every 3-6 weeks

now:

5.11.14 4.50mg - going to wait a bit longer

Link to comment

http://www.forbes.com/sites/robwaters/2012/07/12/glaxosmithklines-3-billion-hit-deterrent-or-business-expense/

 

just found this link about Paxil. When I read about Zoloft, was hard, now I know what my baby died of, severe heart defects. I was one of those damn statistics.

 

Anyway the link is brilliant.

I am so sorry this happened to you.  I can't imagine the pain you must have gone through. 

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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Steeley the duck is yours if you want it! I don't think it really suits me - can't find my posts with it - I keep looking for a pony lol. I found it for you. What's your molten metal one look like? I just think the dead duck gives me a laugh whenever I see it and it makes me think of you - crook sometimes but always funny as lol

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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When I read about Zoloft, was hard, now I know what my baby died of, severe heart defects. I was one of those damn statistics.

omg ang. omg!

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Hello fellow travellers,

 

This will be my last post until I can get a new computer.  This one keeps crashing and is causing me so much anger and frustration that it's just not worth it.  I keep trying, then it crashes again.

 

I have stabilised on 4.5mg and my pharmacist is going to compound for me as I want to make it accurate.

 

Wishing everyone all of the very best and keep getting better, we WILL become success stories. 

 

I'll be back, because we all need each other.

 

Maybe my 'smilies' will work this time. :unsure:  :blink::wub:  :angry:  :)  - it's the best I can do.  Yay, but it's so hard to send or receive anything it almost sends me back into WD with the angst. :mad: and I'm not travelling all that well, and can't cope cope with the constant 'crashing'. 

 

See ya's soon, and have decided on molten metal as my avatar when I get my new computer.

 

your mate - steeley

Prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine approximately 10 years ago.  PTSD 

 

C/T 50% of dose - dreadful, hellish

Begin to reduce by 10% every 3-6 weeks

now:

5.11.14 4.50mg - going to wait a bit longer

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See you soon Steeley. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Moderator

I"ll be waiting to hear from you, don't be too long.

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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steely!!!! glad you migrated over :) :) :)

paroxatine.30mg-98-14 (16years)/15mg March 14/15mg may 2014 every two days on docs advice, went nuts so went up to 10mg. Took 2months to stabilise.10mg July 2014-sept 2014 (6.9mg)tried WD at 10% every two weeks. went nuts, nearly left husband, cats and country.10mg sept-December 14/9mg Dec-Jan 15/8.5mg Jan-Feb 15/8mg Feb-March 15/7.5mg march 15/7mg march-present. By October, off meds and on ivf. 3 failed ivf and end of 11yr relationship.10mg/July 16- July 17/5mg Jan 18- july 18

0mg july- present. Really struggling 

 

 

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Ever, I loved the dead duck and am now conflicted as to either molten metal or your dead duck.  The duck's looking better by the day.

 

Ok, here's your comparison:

 

deadduck.jpg

 

or this:

 

03.jpg

 

They will be waiting for you here in your thread when you get your new puter....

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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I'M HAPPY TODAY

I'M HAPPY TODAY

I GOT A DAY

I GOT A DAY

A SINGLE DAY

A SINGLE DAY

ONE DAY HOORAY HOORAY 

I'M DANCING

I'M SINGING

I'M CLAPPING MY HANDS

I'M LAUGHING AT JOKES

AND IT AINT NO MANIA

IT'S REAL HAPPY

NORMAL HAPPY

I'LL NEVER FORGET IT

BECAUSE TOMORROW WILL COME

AND IT MAY NOT BE THE SAME

DON'T CARE

TODAY, TODAY, TODAY

HOORAY

HOORAY

TEARS OF JOY

THANK YOU LIFE

HOORAY

HOORAY

 

 

 

 

 

Prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine approximately 10 years ago.  PTSD 

 

C/T 50% of dose - dreadful, hellish

Begin to reduce by 10% every 3-6 weeks

now:

5.11.14 4.50mg - going to wait a bit longer

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Wow, Steeley,

 

Good to know that you are so happy today. Your positive mood bring me hope. I wish I can say the same one day.  

Zyprexa 15 mg  for 5 months  in 2010. I quit cold turkey /Zyprexa 5 mg from sept 2011 to sept 2012. I quit cold turkey

Lamictal and Geodon for around 6 months (from around sept 2012 to feb 2013)

Trazodone/ Klonopin 0.5 mg / 1 mg /Quetiapine  and gabapentin 600 mg/ Risperidone and gabapentin 600 mg

Gabapentin 1200 mg  around feb 2014 to  june 2014/ Gabapentin 900 mg july 2014 to December 2014

Invega 6 mg dec 2014 (for 8 days) / Gabapentin 600 mg

Invega 6 mg April 2015 / Gabapentin 900 mg

Invega 3 mg May 2015 / Gabapentin 600 mg

Since May 25th Gabapentin 600 mg

July 24 Gabapentin 400 mg August 18 Gabapentin 300 mg

Currently taking Invega 6 mg and Venlafaxine 150 mg. 2018

2019. I took invega 3 mg for two months. I stop taking medication two days ago (11/13) I am doing ok.

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.

 
 
 
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Wow that is some statement of cheer, Steeley!

 

I moved your post into your Intro topic, it's one to a customer in this forum. This topic is yours to do whatever you want with: shout for glee, sob and moan, ask questions and receive visitors, anything you want. The best thing is you can use it to keep track of your progress.

 

(I thought maybe you got a new puter already....)

 

What an inspiring message!

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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